
Loading summary
Grainger Advertiser
When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on track because there's no room for slowdowns. With Grainger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place. So nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.
Grainger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.
Helen Lewis
And that's the thing I think is that I think Democrats could embrace is that I don't have anything to prove. Like, that's the state you get to
Emma Ilech
with your masculinity, that actually, you know
Helen Lewis
what I do, I like sports, but I also enjoy watching films or like, I'm a dad and actually having kids
Emma Ilech
means a lot to me and all
Helen Lewis
that kind of stuff. That's all there. And that I think does begin to look powerful in contrast to what you see sometimes on the maga side, which is guys in, like, heavy makeup and,
Emma Ilech
you know, like, hairspray saying that it's
Helen Lewis
gay to eat soup, right? Like, I just think that shout out
Emma Ilech
to Jesse Waters, right?
Helen Lewis
But like, that just begins to look really weird, doesn't it? Like, you just think just maybe just eat the soup and like, have sex with whoever you want to have sex with.
Jon Favreau
I'm Jon Favreau, and you just heard from today's guest, Helen Lewis, staff writer at the Atlantic.
Emma Ilech
Helen just published a provocative piece that really breaks new ground on the post 2024manosphere debate. It's titled the Men who Want Women to Be Quiet. And it's all about the voices on the right giving rise to masculinism, a
Jon Favreau
movement that's trying to reverse the advances
Emma Ilech
of feminism and reassert the, quote, primacy of men.
Jon Favreau
You're likely already familiar with some of the figures in the movement, your Andrew
Emma Ilech
Tate's, your Nick Fuentes's, and many of the names we've talked about on this podcast express similar beliefs.
Jon Favreau
But in this piece, Helen goes deeper
Emma Ilech
and speaks with many of the so called intellectuals and leaders of the movement,
Jon Favreau
many of whom have direct ties to senior MAGA officials, even as they speak
Emma Ilech
openly about repealing women's right to vote,
Jon Favreau
to run for office, or even to make the most basic decisions about work and life. Helen and I had a great conversation
Emma Ilech
about the misogyny at the core of
Jon Favreau
the MAGA movement, how the influencers profiting off this movement prey on young men, and the ways these right wing grievances are now bleeding into electoral contests across the country. We'll get to that conversation in a minute. But before we do, if you want to support independent pro democracy media pushing
Emma Ilech
back against the tide of the Andrew Tate's and Nick Fuentes's of the world,
Jon Favreau
consider subscribing to Friends of the pod. As a friend of the pod, you get access to subscriber only shows like Pod Save America, Only Friends, all of our great substack newsletters, and you get ad free episodes of all your favorite crooked media podcasts, including this one. Head on over to crooked.com friends to subscribe.
Emma Ilech
All right, here's Helen Lewis. Helen, welcome to Offline.
Helen Lewis
Thank you very much for having me.
Jon Favreau
You recently wrote a big piece for
Emma Ilech
the Atlantic about masculinism.
Jon Favreau
Is that how we're saying it? Masculinism?
Helen Lewis
Yeah, you can say masculism if you want.
Emma Ilech
Which masculism?
Charlotte Perkins Gilman coinage. But I went for masculinism because I
Helen Lewis
think it gives the idea that the
Emma Ilech
people who are behind this would say this is a kind of reaction to or a counter movement against feminism. It's about reasserting the primacy of men and also saying that feminism went too far.
Jon Favreau
Yeah, I was going to say, I
Emma Ilech
was going to start by asking how you define it and how it's different from sexism or misogyny.
Helen Lewis
Well, those are quite narrow things.
Emma Ilech
Right.
Helen Lewis
In the sense of sexism, I would
Emma Ilech
say, is the belief that women are inferior to men in whatever way you want to say. Misogyny is kind of the weaponized version of that. Like that's hatred of women.
Helen Lewis
This you could have no hate in
Emma Ilech
your heart for women. You would just believe that society should be organized in a different way.
Helen Lewis
And one of the things that, you
Emma Ilech
know, I try and do in my work, it's hard, but I think it's good intellectual discipline is try and argue with the best version of your opponent's case. Right. Say this is what these people think that they're doing.
Helen Lewis
They think society would be better organized than this. They think it would be better for women. Right.
Emma Ilech
They think women would be happier living in a patriarchal society.
Helen Lewis
So they think that they're doing this
Emma Ilech
on behalf of women. It's not motivated by hatred or fear.
Helen Lewis
So I wanted to use that more
Emma Ilech
neutral term essentially from the start, just to say this is.
Helen Lewis
And also to say this is.
Emma Ilech
This is an ideology, right? This is an intellectual movement.
So you make a big claim in the piece. Here's a quote. Masculinism has become the single most important force uniting the American right, bringing together an unlikely constellation of pastors, posters, senators, preachers, influencers, podcasters and fanboys. So masculinism, in your telling, more important force than immigration or fighting wokeness or fighting the left or Donald Trump himself on the right. Why do you think it is the most important force uniting all these factions?
Helen Lewis
Maybe not more important than Donald Trump?
Emma Ilech
Because I think the way a lot
Helen Lewis
of MAGA functions is that essentially by
Emma Ilech
deferring to the strongman leader, you avoid having a lot of arguments. There are a lot of situations in which, what do we think about this? We think whatever Donald Trump thinks about it today, and if he thinks something different tomorrow, we'll think something different tomorrow.
Helen Lewis
So let's put him aside. But it was very obvious to me that as I was writing it, the
Emma Ilech
MAGA movement is split along a number of fundamental different ways. The question of Israel, obviously a really important one. Foreign policy, but also the tariffs have upset a lot of people who are essentially protectionist.
Helen Lewis
And the regulation of tech. We've just seen the executive order on
Emma Ilech
regulating AI go through after an intense back and forth. David Sacks, the AI czar, seems to have been involved in that. There are countervailing forces within that Trump White House.
Helen Lewis
But the thing that absolutely everybody, the
Emma Ilech
kind of table stakes, the price of emission, I think absolutely everybody agrees, is that traditional gender roles are best. Men should be manly in this very narrowly defined way, and women should be feminine and not too ambitious, all of that kind of stuff.
Helen Lewis
So to me, it just seemed to
Emma Ilech
be that you can hold all kinds of views and still be kind. Call yourself a member of maga.
Helen Lewis
The one thing you probably can't be
Emma Ilech
is a radical feminist. I would say that would be tough to accommodate that in however big the tent currently is.
It is interesting, though, that of all the other issues, this is probably like. I agree that it is. It's the glue that sort of holds it all together, but they don't speak about it as publicly or openly as Some of the other issues, they talk about immigration all the time. They talk about there's fights over the war in Iran. There's everything you hear from the White House. They don't talk a lot about women and women's roles, like specifically. Certainly the people that you talk to in this piece do. But what do you make of the fact that that didn't come from the politicians themselves?
Helen Lewis
That's interesting. I think they almost don't have to because we all have such a keen sense of gender politics and things can be so coded that you almost don't need to. I mean, you mentioned immigration.
Emma Ilech
And just to go back to that,
Helen Lewis
one of the things that's very interesting
Emma Ilech
is that a lot of the kind of maga manosphere crossover influences aren't white.
Helen Lewis
You know, Myron Gaines are fresh and fit.
Emma Ilech
I mentioned the pieces. Sudanese American. Andrew Tate is mixed race. He has a, I think black British father and a white mother sneako who's featured in the Louis Theroux documentary.
Helen Lewis
And, you know, Trump made big gains
Emma Ilech
with young black men and young Hispanic men.
Helen Lewis
So there's something that's slightly more complicated
Emma Ilech
going on with immigration. And I do agree with you that it's a very big binding force in that coalition.
Helen Lewis
But the reason I think that gender
Emma Ilech
doesn't get talked about up front is because you don't need to.
Helen Lewis
So to give you an example, I've
Emma Ilech
been just watching a lot of the
Helen Lewis
clips about James Talarico.
Emma Ilech
I was gonna ask about that.
Yeah, right.
Helen Lewis
But it's a very obvious example. So James Talarico, the Democratic contender for
Emma Ilech
the Senate nomination in Texas, running against Ken Paxton, who has a scandal list as long as your arm, there is essentially no positive case to make for Ken Paxton. And so they've gone out very early, very negative against James Talarico.
Helen Lewis
And you know, saying that he's vegan,
Emma Ilech
ought not to be gendered. Right. But it is. It's like real men eat barbecue and girls and gays, you know, are vegans.
Helen Lewis
You know, to the extent that Arnold
Emma Ilech
Schwarzenegger made a whole documentary for Netflix,
Helen Lewis
which is very good about eating vegetarian
Emma Ilech
food and how healthy that is for you.
Helen Lewis
And he did two things, and I
Emma Ilech
noticed at the time, one, he called it a plant based diet because you can't say vegetarian cause that's for girls and gays.
Helen Lewis
And two, he said how amazing it
Emma Ilech
was for like bodybuilding and how strong your erections would be.
Helen Lewis
So it was basically like, don't worry,
Emma Ilech
men, you can eat vegetables and nothing bad will happen to your Masculinity.
Helen Lewis
And so that's what I mean is I don't know if it needs to be surfaced because there are just so
Emma Ilech
many dog whistles that then do invoke ideas about gender.
How and when do you think masculinism sort of became this dominant force organizing the political right? Was it Trump's election in 2016? Was it before that? Was it after that? Like, trace the evolution for us?
Helen Lewis
That's a really interesting question. I mean, I probably go back even
Emma Ilech
further than that and back to Phyllis schlafly and the 1970s. You know, the second wave of feminism was this incredible flowering of both consciousness raising and crucially, also legislation.
Helen Lewis
Right? That's when you start to get things
Emma Ilech
like the ruling on equal rights, you know, things like the demands for equal pay.
Helen Lewis
And then that bleeds into the third
Emma Ilech
wave and worries about sexual harassment.
Helen Lewis
But there was essentially this huge feminist swell, and so there was a need
Emma Ilech
for a right wing woman figurehead to lead the charge against it. Right?
Helen Lewis
There wasn't. There was a feeling that what you
Emma Ilech
couldn't do is have a bunch of dry old dudes telling women to get back in their box. That would be kind of unpleasant.
Helen Lewis
So you found this new kind of
Emma Ilech
organizing that Phyllis Schlafly did, and, you know, the. The Backlash to Roe vs. Wade is a really big part of that, Like a really energizing issue that attempts to speak to right wing women, particularly as mothers, and forge this new idea of what it means to be a right wing woman.
Helen Lewis
So I would go back almost to
Emma Ilech
that, really, and the fact that
Helen Lewis
it is quite hard to succeed, obviously, even
Emma Ilech
now within the Trump White House, the number of women who've been pushed out of that White House is, I think, really striking, actually.
Helen Lewis
I'm not sure that they are necessarily
Emma Ilech
the least competent people objectively, but they have been far more expendable than some of the other people in there.
Helen Lewis
So I think I would probably trace
Emma Ilech
this particular version of the kind of right wing masculinist movement back to the 70s, even as far back as that.
Helen Lewis
But obviously given enormous impetus by the
Emma Ilech
election of Trump the first time around in 2016, when we had the whole grab by the pussy. Is that locker room talk? Is that just how men talk? And Democrats are actually missing something by saying that's a standard we should hold politicians to.
Helen Lewis
And you see that all the time now. And actually you see it from Democrats, too.
Emma Ilech
It's kind of essentially Graham Platner's argument in Maine is like, this is just how guys talk. And Democrats who don't get that, who have these politeness standards that's kind of feminine and weak?
Jon Favreau
Well, it is.
Emma Ilech
I mean, so many of these movements, be it a backlash to racial progress or this are a backlash to some perceived loss of status or, or, you know, someone else's rights being advanced. And I feel like with around 2016, you get it's not just Trump, but it's Trump beating Hillary Clinton in that race. And I think, you know, you talk about this in the piece a little bit too. In the 2010s you have the future is female. And like, do you see sort of where the culture went in the 2010s as part of what accelerated the masculinism movement sort of post Trump's election?
Helen Lewis
I think so, because I think there was a feeling that women had grabbed
Emma Ilech
the microphone during that time and they
Helen Lewis
were getting, you know, from the perspective of being a, you know, a feminist writing through it. The MeToo movement was, you know, it was a, it felt like lots of people had had stories that they had been sitting on for, often for decades
Emma Ilech
in some cases that they were now felt empowered to speak.
Helen Lewis
But then I think sometimes that was
Emma Ilech
read as being very privileged, women getting to speak. You know, why are we hearing from all these Hollywood actresses? You know, you're getting paid millions per film. Do you really have anything to complain about?
Helen Lewis
And then there was a feeling from
Emma Ilech
some men that actually they had things that were wrong in their life. And like, why doesn't anyone want to
Helen Lewis
hear about the things that have happened to me? And at the same time, I think you're right. There was a genuine progress. I mean, the majority now, for example,
Emma Ilech
of medical students in the US Are female.
Helen Lewis
You know, you have colleges that are
Emma Ilech
actually putting their thumb on the scales essentially for affirmative action for men in some humanities courses, because they, they, you know, there is, that is, that is the group that doesn't really want to go and do higher education in those subjects.
Helen Lewis
So definitely there was a situation where it was felt that like men were
Emma Ilech
falling behind, and that was something that you kind of weren't allowed to talk about.
Helen Lewis
And always say, as ever, with politics, seeing everything as a zero sum game,
Emma Ilech
well, if we're talking about women, then we must not be talking about, about men.
Helen Lewis
But I, you know, the wit, the bit I would concede, and I did talk about this in the piece, I do also think that I talked to
Emma Ilech
a lot of parents, liberal parents, who said, I feel like my son, my young son, my 12 year old, 14
Helen Lewis
year old is being made to feel
Emma Ilech
like he's carrying this kind of original sin around with him. Like, you know that masculinity is inherently toxic.
Helen Lewis
And actually that's not really a message
Emma Ilech
that I want to give to my kids.
Helen Lewis
We have all of these children's books
Emma Ilech
that are about like brave, sassy heroines.
Helen Lewis
Well, hang on a minute. Do we have brave, sassy boys?
Emma Ilech
Is that a thing that you're allowed to have now?
Helen Lewis
And so I do. That's the bit I think I do
Emma Ilech
have a lot of sympathy for.
Yeah.
Jon Favreau
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. While summer brings exciting travel and sun drenched adventures, for many, it can also feel like a stressful juggling act. Balancing a packed schedule can quickly lead to burnout living, leaving you feeling guilty that you aren't maximizing every single moment of sunshine. Therapy can help you understand your needs and set healthy boundaries so you can enjoy summer on your own terms. You just walk into that therapist's office
Emma Ilech
and you're like, hey, I'm not maximizing
Jon Favreau
every single hour of sun and I
Emma Ilech
need to talk about it.
Jon Favreau
What brings you here?
Emma Ilech
The sun?
Jon Favreau
Relationship problems?
Emma Ilech
Stress at work? No, just sunlight.
Jon Favreau
It's a sunlight issue. Sun Equinox.
Emma Ilech
Oh, you're not getting enough of it? No, I could be not maximizing what
Jon Favreau
I with over 30,000 therapists, better help is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. Better Help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences and their 12 plus years of experience. An industry leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored wrecks. Therapy is great.
Emma Ilech
It's important.
Jon Favreau
You might not think you need it, but when you go and try talking to someone, you're going to feel better and so give it a whirl. BetterHelp's a perfect place to try it because you can do it right from the comfort of your own home.
Emma Ilech
That sun's not going anywhere.
Jon Favreau
That sun's not going anywhere.
Emma Ilech
Not for a while, but you might be.
Jon Favreau
It's a therapy.
Emma Ilech
You're dead.
Jon Favreau
You don't have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support and therapy. Sign up and get 10% off@betterhelp.com offline.
Emma Ilech
That's better.
Jon Favreau
H lp.com offline offline is brought to you by Quint. As the temperatures heat up during summer, you want pieces that feel lighter and more breathable. Things that are easy but still put together. That's why I keep coming back to Quint. They focus on high quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Well made basics, but without the luxury markup. It's that rare balance where everything feels
Emma Ilech
elevated but still effortless.
Jon Favreau
Quint's European linen pants and shirts are the perfect warm weather upgrade to add to your rotation. Starting at just $34, their tees are soft and easy to wear and their lightweight cotton sweaters are perfect for cooler summer nights. Everything at Quint's is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Quince goes way beyond clothing. Custom upholstered sofas, ceramic cookware, premium bedding. It's the kind of brand you end up recommending to everyone for everything. This is true. And I use it all the time. I go to Quint all the time.
Emma Ilech
I just bought a lightweight cotton sweater from them.
Jon Favreau
I also bought some polos last month and now that summer's coming, I gotta, gotta go back and get some shorts.
Emma Ilech
Re up.
Jon Favreau
Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quint.com offline for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com offline for free shipping and 365 day returns. Code quince.com offline.
Emma Ilech
You talk to a wide range of prominent feminism haters for the piece. Who are some of the most influential figures that a lot of people don't know about but probably should.
Well, I start off with Douglas Wilson, who I think is really influential because he was massive in the American homeschooling movement in the 1990s.
Helen Lewis
And I think that's one of those things that if you were outside it,
Emma Ilech
you wouldn't have really any interaction with it.
Helen Lewis
But he has built himself this mini
Emma Ilech
empire in Moscow, Idaho, which is a publishing company and a streaming platform and
Helen Lewis
he's written a zillion books and you know, he has, his son in law
Emma Ilech
is involved in the liberal arts college there, he's involved with the school there. Right.
Helen Lewis
Like he has thought about every single
Emma Ilech
way that you would get your message out.
Helen Lewis
And in the old days it was
Emma Ilech
through, you know, Leaflets and books about homeschooling kids. Now it's through streaming platforms, you know,
Helen Lewis
so I think he is really incredibly influential, and he's only really become someone
Emma Ilech
that people have talked about in the last couple of months because he's Pete Hegseth's past. Well, he's the founder of the denomination to which Pete Hegseth, the Secretary of War, belongs to.
Helen Lewis
And, you know, his views are.
Emma Ilech
How do I describe them?
Helen Lewis
I think in the piece, I describe
Emma Ilech
them as uncompromising, which is a lowball.
Wants to repeal the 19th Amendment, right?
Grainger Advertiser
Yeah.
Helen Lewis
He wants to bring about household voting, for example. He's described his political views as paleo Confederate.
Emma Ilech
He's described himself as a Christian nationalist, a theocrat, a patriarch.
Helen Lewis
He believes that St. Paul and other
Emma Ilech
people in the Bible laid down the view which is the man is the head of the household and a woman's role is to support him. And he would like to move back to an America where that is the
Helen Lewis
case, you know, and he has been in. In February, he went into the Pentagon
Emma Ilech
to preach to them at the invitation of Hegseth.
Helen Lewis
And one of the things that he said was, you know, I want you
Emma Ilech
to be uncompromising Christians, unashamed Christians at work.
Helen Lewis
Right. So, you know, this, again, is somebody who doesn't believe in the separation of church and state.
Emma Ilech
He wants a Christian America.
Helen Lewis
And he's, you know, he's legitimately entitled to. He's pulling every lever he can to
Emma Ilech
achieve his political vision, but it is a very distinct one and a minority
Helen Lewis
one, and what people, a lot of
Emma Ilech
people could see as an extreme one.
Helen Lewis
So, to me, that was really interesting
Emma Ilech
to write about somebody who has both got a very specific ideology and has thought quite deeply about all the ways to advance that ideology.
Helen Lewis
I think if you're someone who opposes
Emma Ilech
that ideology, you really need to know about that.
I was thinking about Doug Wilson because there's just so many stories about the Trump administration and so many outrages for the last 10 years, but especially in the second administration. So I remember hearing about Doug Wilson and Pete Hegseth, but, you know, reading your piece again, like you said, he led a prayer service at the Pentagon. And then you've got Hegseth, who has moved to block the promotion of female officers and opposes women in combat. And he's faced allegation of sexual misconduct, abuse, harassment, violence towards women. He's now running the military, asking our troops to pray for victory in Jesus's name in the war in Iran. Why do you think the Wilson connection and hegseth's views, which could be described as a form of masculinism, just not as maybe loud or specific as Doug Wilson's.
Jon Favreau
Why do you think that hasn't been
Emma Ilech
a bigger topic of public debate?
Helen Lewis
That's a really good question. I mean, I think again, it's a bit like some of this stuff is the kind of sea that we swim in. I think that, I don't know, it's odd maybe to reference stand up comedians, but the staple of every hack stand
Emma Ilech
up comedians act is a kind of like little light battle of the sexies humor. Like, you know, why are women like this kind of stuff?
Helen Lewis
So I just think there's a kind of soup where it is still more
Emma Ilech
acceptable to say things that are sexist,
Helen Lewis
you know, sexist in a kind of
Emma Ilech
slightly ironic way than maybe some other things.
Helen Lewis
So in the case of. But. And I also think that, you know, the military is an interesting wedge issue because I think.
Emma Ilech
I don't know what the polling is. I'd be interested to see it, but
Helen Lewis
I would imagine that a relatively significant
Emma Ilech
minority of the American population are a bit uneasy about women in combat roles.
Helen Lewis
Actually not, as far as I can
Emma Ilech
tell, a particularly controversial thing within the military itself. But it's something that lots of people outside, including lots of women, you know,
Helen Lewis
feel maybe they actually do have a
Emma Ilech
few questions about it.
Helen Lewis
So I can see why that is a kind of. That's a really potent issue. But it's also, you're right, like, he.
Emma Ilech
Pete Hegseth has a very particular vision for what he thinks an army should
Helen Lewis
be that is actually weirdly kind of pre Christian.
Emma Ilech
Right. It's almost, it's sort of Spartan, it's kind of pagan. Right.
Helen Lewis
He just, he thinks they should all
Emma Ilech
be kind of strapping, I think, oiled, beardless warriors and they should look a certain way.
Jon Favreau
Yeah.
Emma Ilech
And there's a kind of an aesthetic to it.
Helen Lewis
And that's the other thing.
Emma Ilech
I'm not sure I brought this out
Helen Lewis
enough in the piece, but I think it's part of it is that masculinism is a.
Emma Ilech
Is an aesthetic too.
Helen Lewis
Right. You can, you can, you know, it's. It is.
Emma Ilech
It's the bodybuilding pictures and the Spartans and the Roman statue avatars on Twitter. And like there are all these kind of, you know, cultural signifiers that it, that it has kind of. It's got an aesthetic of its own.
Helen Lewis
In the same way that the MAGA
Emma Ilech
aesthetic is now kind of gold leaf and AI slop, there is also a very distinct Maga masculinist aesthetic.
Yeah, it's just, I was, I'm like, I'm trying to imagine a similar case where a pastor, someone who's Defense secretary or any cabinet secretary, and they belong to this pastor's church, and the pastor comes in and leads a service and the pastor has a view that we should segregate black and white Americans again or, or even like that Israel shouldn't have a right to exist.
Jon Favreau
Like, these would be controversies that we
Emma Ilech
would be talking about quite a bit, particularly in the segregation case. And you're right, I guess that maybe because it's partly aesthetic, maybe because we, like you said, we just swim in these waters and we're used to it, it just doesn't quite get the same level of attention. It's just wild to me.
Helen Lewis
I also have a kind of slightly
Emma Ilech
spicy theory that I'm sure will get
Helen Lewis
me in trouble, which is, I think
Emma Ilech
a lot of middle class men don't believe that middle class women actually face sexist oppression. Right. I don't think that they think that
Helen Lewis
sex is a, you know, women like,
Emma Ilech
of their class, they think that they are kind of pampered and they do. All right, they're willing to believe that maybe if you're a migrant woman, it's hard or what, whatever it might be, or women in Iran have it hard, but they don't think that essentially their girls, you know, their girlfriends and wives have ever suffered any real, real disability due to being, being a woman. So I think there is also that kind of feeling that the sexism on its own is just not real in some bone deep kind of way.
Helen Lewis
And actually maybe I think it sometimes bleeds out into.
Emma Ilech
Actually, isn't it easier to be a woman? Because, you know, you get men that are chivalrous and they buy you dinner and they open doors for you and, and they look after you. So I think that may also be part of it.
Helen Lewis
But it's also understood in this ironic way, isn't it? So Doug Wilson says, you know, I
Emma Ilech
want to take the vote away from women, but only maybe in 200 years. And that's understood to be kind of cute. Whereas I think if someone said, I want to bring back Jim Crow, but only in 200 years, not now, people
Helen Lewis
would be at that point people would
Emma Ilech
be out essentially in a way that they're not out. This is understood to be kind of, you know, kind of funny and ironic and cutesy in a way that I don't think we apply necessarily to other injustices in American history.
Well, the other dynamic Here that I think is fascinating in your piece is the difference between who some of these men are online and how they express themselves online and how they are in person. Like, when you spoke to them, could you talk a little bit about, like, the sort of the difference between their Persona when you actually interviewed them versus what you see online?
Helen Lewis
Yeah, I mean, this may be partly me.
Emma Ilech
I'm.
Helen Lewis
I'm. I'm.
Emma Ilech
I'm quite okay with interpersonal conflict. It doesn't bother me.
Helen Lewis
In fact, I managed to when I interviewed Jordan Peterson in 2018.
Emma Ilech
Now, he went on Joe Rogan afterwards and said I was animus possessed, which is a Jungian term meaning that I've got, like, too much masculine anger in me and I'm not properly feminine.
Helen Lewis
And that's probably.
Emma Ilech
Probably true. It's probably fair enough, actually.
Helen Lewis
But, you know, real compliment I would take.
Emma Ilech
Right. But apart from that, it was a
Helen Lewis
great night out at the theater.
Emma Ilech
Yeah.
Helen Lewis
But, you know, I think it's. It's one of the things when you're a journalist that you should be able to do. Right. You should be able. If you want to challenge someone, you
Emma Ilech
should be okay saying it to their face. You don't need to hide behind the keyboard or the screen, you know?
Yeah.
Say it to their face.
Helen Lewis
But I. But that is quite rare. And I, you know, so I didn't go into these conversations looking to pick fights with people, but I was kind of willing to challenge them and say
Emma Ilech
that, you know, I disagreed with them or I disagree.
Helen Lewis
And actually, most people don't want to
Emma Ilech
fight with you on Zoom in that way.
Helen Lewis
But I think that's really fascinating. I mean, I mentioned in the piece,
Emma Ilech
Joel Webbin, who is a very hard. Right. Pastor, thinks, you know, there's LGBTQ mafia and posts about Jewish sodomites and all this kind of stuff.
Helen Lewis
And, you know, he was polite. I've interviewed men who've interrupted me far more like, he listened to me very thoughtfully.
Emma Ilech
He called me ma', am, you know, all of this kind of stuff.
Helen Lewis
And then you go away and you look at his Twitter feed, and it's, you know, it's Jewish sodomites and the LGBTQ mafia. And it's just so. I think you have to. When you're writing these stories about modern
Emma Ilech
politics, you have to acknowledge the posting of it all.
Helen Lewis
Yeah, right.
Emma Ilech
And so much of politics is now posting.
Helen Lewis
I mean, the Democrats have started to
Emma Ilech
do it, too, with the performatively, like, telling Stephen Miller that he's ugly. And, like, you know, everybody now just does the kind of insult comic routine.
Helen Lewis
But. But that's not how most people live
Emma Ilech
their actual lives, for sure.
Helen Lewis
So, you know, and I think it's.
Emma Ilech
People struggle with it.
Helen Lewis
Right. Because the performativity doesn't mean that there
Emma Ilech
isn't also sincerity underneath. But you have to acknowledge that some of this is a. There's a kind of WWE aspect to all American politics now. People are playing the heel in quite a lot of situations.
Jon Favreau
Yeah.
Emma Ilech
I was gonna ask because obviously it's hard to get into these people's minds, but, like, how much of the nastiness is. Do you think is sincere belief? How much is performance? And maybe most importantly, how much does that even matter?
Yeah. Does it even really matter?
Helen Lewis
I don't. I'm of the feeling that it.
Emma Ilech
That it doesn't. You should take responsibility for all of your words, whether or not you meant
Helen Lewis
them, because some people will think that you meant them. Right.
Emma Ilech
And they might make decisions acting on them.
Helen Lewis
But. But it was really interesting to talk to Doug Wilson, who has called women.
Emma Ilech
Let me get you the list. Small breasted biddies, Jezebels, lumberjack dykes.
Helen Lewis
You know, he's just.
Emma Ilech
He blogs like a kind of 2000s insult blogger.
Helen Lewis
To hear him say, oh, I think
Emma Ilech
that the way Nick Fuentes talks about women is repulsive. You know, he doesn't talk about women the way that, you know, Jesus said, you know, talk about women like they all crown and St. Paul.
Helen Lewis
And he doesn't do that. And I said to him, well, how.
Emma Ilech
Hang on a minute.
Helen Lewis
This is what you're doing too. But, but in his mind, he is
Emma Ilech
doing, you know, he's doing a bit, essentially.
Yeah.
And he's being elegant in his insults and they're to, you know, to some extent to be understood in this kind of literary referential way, whereas he thinks, you know, Nick Fuentes is actually kind of vulgar and gauche. And that was. That was just a really interesting moment to me, that you would have somebody who uses that kind of language, who makes a point of saying things that are deliberately offensive, but then they would still say that. No, no, he's really offensive. Nick Fuentes is really offensive.
Yeah. I guess you always need someone who's more extreme than you to appear a little bit more reasonable to others, I guess.
Helen Lewis
Well, it is a huge problem for that section of the.
Emma Ilech
Right. The appearance of Nick Fuentes.
Yes.
Helen Lewis
And, you know, he caused a massive split at the Heritage foundation, which may
Emma Ilech
be the most influential MAGA think tank because of his comments about the Holocaust and Jewish people.
Helen Lewis
And you watched A section of the right which has made a fetish of
Emma Ilech
never condemning offensive comments, being cool with everything, suddenly try and find the way to articulate, oh, no, this is actually our red line.
Helen Lewis
And they really, really struggled to the
Emma Ilech
extent that lots of people left the Heritage foundation for Mike Pence's think tank, because Kevin Roberts would not condemn those remarks.
Helen Lewis
And that to me was really interesting. Again, first of all, that they didn't condemn Nick Fuente as saying that all
Emma Ilech
women should be put in breeding gulags, which seems like a fairly extreme opinion to me.
Helen Lewis
But also that they struggled so hard
Emma Ilech
to find a way to say, you can't say that, because so much of that bit of the right is built on saying, that's feminine. You know, that's nagging.
Helen Lewis
That's Karen stuff.
Emma Ilech
That's the HR department. Won't you not say that? You know, if you come with us, you can say whatever you like, and
Helen Lewis
then you get somebody who really doesn't, who goes past the self appointed rules,
Emma Ilech
and then they're kind of completely stuffed.
One detail in your piece that really stuck out at me was the title of Doug Wilson's first podcast episode, the Sin of Empathy. And you also talk about a marketing professor who rails against suicidal empathy. This is something that's been on my mind for a while because I've seen Elon Musk talk about this a lot, that empathy is suicidal. And the west is. The Western civilization is dying because of empathy. Why does masculinism need to treat empathy as a weakness? Like what is inherently feminine about caring
Jon Favreau
for another person or trying to understand
Emma Ilech
where someone else is coming from?
Yeah, so that's. Doug Wilson has a podcast called Man Rampant, which is just a great name podcast. I'm sad that you didn't pick it for this podcast, really, next season. Yeah, the first episode is called the Sin of Empathy.
Helen Lewis
And yeah, there's toxic empathy and suicidal empathy. Elon Musk quite often does little rants
Emma Ilech
about the hard men of Gondor and how who are they?
Helen Lewis
Well, the problem is here I live
Emma Ilech
in England, as you can tell from my accent. The problem is we're like the hobbits in the shire.
Helen Lewis
And we don't understand that.
Emma Ilech
We're, you know, we're facing the orcs, comma, brackets, Muslims, and we need the hard men of Gondor to defend us. And that's like Tommy Robinson and other kind of provocateurs like that.
Helen Lewis
So for him, essentially, the feminine problem is that women feel sorry for other
Emma Ilech
people, people who present themselves as victims and that is illegal immigrants, refugees, violent criminals who've had a really rough childhood. And they feel sorry for those people instead of recognizing their inherent danger as strong men do. And therefore they let them get away with stuff.
Helen Lewis
So that's kind of a bit of Helen Andrews great feminization thesis in her
Emma Ilech
essay that women corrupt the law because they rely too much on their feelings and not enough on facts. So they will be sort of soft on crime.
Helen Lewis
And again, you can see how it, you know, it narrates perfectly into lots
Emma Ilech
of messages that the right already had about the Democrats about not being tough enough on crime.
Helen Lewis
And now it takes on this extra
Emma Ilech
gendered dimension in which rehabilitating criminals and now becomes feminine for reasons best known to itself and therefore bad or allowing migration is because you feel sorry for people who live in Mexico or Venezuela or wherever it might be. And so you let them in, but you don't realize that actually, you know, they're rapists and they're coming to infiltrate your country.
Helen Lewis
So that when you understand that, I did find that a kind of little
Emma Ilech
skeleton key for understanding what it is that they're also worried about.
Helen Lewis
But it, you know, I think social
Emma Ilech
media again plays a part in this.
Helen Lewis
You know, they're just a feeling that
Emma Ilech
you can sort of numb yourself by just consuming huge amounts of content about the threat that you're under.
Helen Lewis
I mean, it's one of the things that I find really fascinating is this is a discourse that is very much about strength. But they appear. There's a, there's a, you know, someone
Emma Ilech
did one of those fake Ken dolls that was conservative man, afraid of cities.
Helen Lewis
Which, which really made me laugh. Right. I live in London and quite often, you know, you will get American right wingers who are absolutely convinced that this
Emma Ilech
is basically Mogadishu on a bad day.
Helen Lewis
And you're like, actually, have you looked
Emma Ilech
at our murder rate versus a mid sized American city?
Helen Lewis
You know, we don't have guns, so it's quite hard for people to kill each other. But they're absolutely convinced that like living
Emma Ilech
in a city is the worst thing that could happen to you and are
Helen Lewis
afraid of cities, but that for some reason isn't feminine.
Emma Ilech
That's not being hysterical and overwrought. That is a sensible level of fear based on a real and true threat.
Helen Lewis
And so that was the other thing I was trying to bring out, was
Emma Ilech
the immense flexibility of this discourse. Right.
Helen Lewis
You find the feeling that you already
Emma Ilech
have and then you work back to why it's either masculine or feminine based on Whether you approve of it or
not, basically, I do think it's the skeleton key. And to me, you're where we started about this masculinism being sort of the uniting force among all of these right wing factions makes a lot more sense. It reminded me of Stephen Miller going on TV a couple months ago, and I think he was talking about Iran. He might have been talking about Venezuela, some kind of conquest that they wanted to do. It might have also been about immigration, could be about any of these things. But he said the laws of nature are force and strength and power, and that is how decisions get made. And that is just the world the way it is. That is reality, something to that effect. And it really, to me, that was the dividing line between how they see the world and how they think everyone else sees the world. And this idea that we make laws and international treaties and diplomacy and cooperation
Jon Favreau
and we understand other people and we
Emma Ilech
try to cooperate, like that whole ideology for them is, is, you know, against nature. It's not reality. And they would say it's feminine.
Helen Lewis
Yeah, it's weak. I think that's exactly right. You have to essentially follow the lead
Emma Ilech
of Trump in which every negotiation there is a winner and a loser, and you bully people until you make sure that you are the winner and that everything is zero sum. And like, that's it. Like, you can't possibly have a mutually beneficial cooperative arrangement. No, in that case, you probably, you're the pussy. You've been the one, you've been tricked, essentially.
Helen Lewis
The other thing, my colleague Tom Nichols
Emma Ilech
once wrote a piece about Trump and
Helen Lewis
masculinity, which I thought was really interesting.
Emma Ilech
He compared him to the kind of
Helen Lewis
World War II veterans that he'd grown up around who had often got Purple Hearts.
Emma Ilech
They had often done incredible, brave things under fire.
Helen Lewis
And sometimes you didn't even find out
Emma Ilech
that they'd done them until they died and they found the medals in the drawer.
Helen Lewis
This was an archetype of masculinity that
Emma Ilech
was about being a protector, that was being stoic and strong.
Helen Lewis
And that's very different. I don't see a lot of protecting in this.
Emma Ilech
Right.
Helen Lewis
And again, but that kind of comes back to the J.D. vance thing about Ordo Amoris.
Emma Ilech
Right.
Helen Lewis
The idea that you only really the only people you look like, you may,
Emma Ilech
you care about your family, and that's just about it.
Helen Lewis
You admit you care about your nation.
Emma Ilech
You certainly do not care about anybody in another country. Like, screw those guys. What do they got to do with you?
Helen Lewis
And so, yeah, I think empathy and
Emma Ilech
the limits of empathy is. Is absolutely core to understanding that worldview.
Helen Lewis
And by the way, Stephen Miller is
Emma Ilech
a very good example.
Helen Lewis
I don't know if I didn't go into this in the piece, but his
Emma Ilech
kind of origin story, his kind of spider man bitten by a spider thing is the Duke lacrosse story, which was a false accusation of rape.
Helen Lewis
And that is a kind of key to this mythology too, is that actually that men are more at risk from
Emma Ilech
false accusations of rape than women are from rape.
Helen Lewis
Right. And actually that's not really true if
Emma Ilech
you look at the numbers, but it's
Helen Lewis
a very powerful motivating message when you
Emma Ilech
find an actual case where their false accusation has been made.
Helen Lewis
Because you can say, actually we're having
Emma Ilech
the wrong conversation about rape. We should be talking about men and how unfair this is on them.
Yeah, it's interesting because you talk to so many religious folks like Wilson, how they justify defining empathy as a sin when empathy is very clearly at the
Jon Favreau
core of nearly everything Jesus says and
Emma Ilech
does in the New Testament. Like, what is the theological justification for this? And I know that goes into the JD Vance and the odoramus thing as well, but.
Helen Lewis
But yeah, I mean, I grew up Catholic, right?
Emma Ilech
My dad is a deacon in the Catholic Church and my mum was an RE teacher.
Helen Lewis
And so I went, you know, I
Emma Ilech
read a lot of Bible, went to Mass a lot.
Helen Lewis
And I was, you know, I was just kind of fascinated by how different our conceptions of Jesus were. You know, the Jesus that I grew
Emma Ilech
up with and more in like the European and British tradition is blessed are the meek. You know, like, leave your mother and father and follow me.
Helen Lewis
You know, turn the other cheek, you
Emma Ilech
know, a new commandment I give unto you, Love one another. All of this kind of stuff.
Helen Lewis
Kind of like hippie Jesus, I guess. But like, to them that's not appealing.
Emma Ilech
They like Rambo Jesus, who would have been machine gunning the way the stone from the grave with an AK47.
Helen Lewis
Right.
Emma Ilech
I find it fascinatingly disconnected from the Bible.
Helen Lewis
And American evangelical Christianity has got entirely
Emma Ilech
its own set of beliefs about Jesus that are for me hard to reconcile with the Jesus of the Bible, but extremely internally coherent
Helen Lewis
and actually got to
Emma Ilech
the extent where they now identify Trump with Jesus because Trump was wronged, he was betrayed.
Helen Lewis
Much as St. Peter betrayed Jesus, so
Emma Ilech
did the rest of the Republican Party by agreeing to going along with him not being the candidate or whatever.
Helen Lewis
I find it absolutely fascinating. So I did want to bring in
Emma Ilech
the Christianity because I think it's a
Helen Lewis
really important part of the story it's also one that has a kind of ironic codicil which is that Andrew Tate converted to Islam because he said, and
Emma Ilech
I quote, Christianity is a cucked religion,
Helen Lewis
right, that it's not patriarchal enough, that
Emma Ilech
Jesus is kind of namby pamby and actually Islam is properly patriarchal. And that was much more appealing to him.
Helen Lewis
And you know, and I, and I said that to Joel Webbin, the pastor, I was like, you want essentially a
Emma Ilech
guardianship system of women.
Helen Lewis
That's, that's Saudi Arabia. Not even Saudi Arabia now because now
Emma Ilech
Saudi Arabia is liberalizing in, you know, a lesser, greater or lesser extent.
Helen Lewis
But actually a lot of these guys, you know, want something much more hardcore
Emma Ilech
than traditional mainstream Christianity. And therefore the kind of Jesus of the Bible is sort of slightly, slightly embarrassing to them almost.
He's a problem for them. And it's why a lot of their quotes where they justify some of their views in the Bible, they go to the Old Testament, do you notice?
Helen Lewis
Or St. Paul. Right, or St. Paul rather than actually Jesus.
Emma Ilech
Because that's, you know, that's where the title of the piece ends up coming from, that women should be quiet. That's St. Paul's advice to godly women.
Helen Lewis
But yeah, you know, that is really
Emma Ilech
interesting to me at a time when America is becoming less religious that actually the more fire breathing bits of American religion seem to be more resistant to secularization. So you might end up in an
Helen Lewis
odd situation in which the kind of
Emma Ilech
middle bit of American mainstream Christianity is kind of slowly ebbing away. And what is left are the people who are very strongly theocratic. I could see that trajectory happening.
Jon Favreau
Offline is brought to you by Mint Mobile. When people hear that Mint Mobile plans are only $15 per month, they may wonder what's the catch? Well, there isn't one. There are no gimmicks and no gotchas. Just unlimited talk, text and data on the nation's largest, most reliable 5G network. Backed by their award winning care team, Mint Mobile took what's wrong with wireless and made it right with Premium Wireless. For 15 bucks a month, you can even bring your current phone and your number. You can choose from 3, 6 or 12 month plans and say goodbye to a monthly bill. Ditch overpriced wireless. With Mint Mobile, it's so easy. Sign up online and get three months of premium wireless service for 15 bucks a month. It's great. You can keep your phone number, your phone and you just pay a lower monthly bill for your cell service. Isn't that great? It's good to get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month. Go to mintmobile.com offline that's mintmobile.com offline. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com offline. That's it. There's no catch. $45 upfront payment required, equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 GB on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details.
Kiwico Advertiser
This episode sponsored by Kiwico Need a better answer to I'm bored. Kiwico replaces free time with hands on fun. With Kiwico, kids get projects delivered right to the door so they can build, test, tinker, create, and actually see how things work. One day it's science, another day art. Next thing you know, I'm bored turns into look what I made. Each Kiwico crate comes ready to go with all the materials and instructions included. No planning, no supply run, no wait, do we have glue? Just open the box and let curiosity take over. Whether your kid loves science, art, engineering, or making something from scratch, Kiwico makes learning feel like play. Visit kiwico.com to learn more. Kiwico Seriously fun. Hands on learning Grainger knows When you're
Grainger Advertiser
a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-Grainger click granger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.
Emma Ilech
I want to touch on something you said earlier about you noted some legitimate entry points into masculinism and talking to parents about their boys. And you know, men are genuinely lonelier. That's an issue falling behind, becoming more alienated, I think, from society in a way that's harmful to all of us. So how do you think the left society, everyone deals with this idea that there are legitimate issues that men are facing and that if we roll our eyes at them or ignore them, then perhaps they go down a rabbit hole and find the Doug Wilsons of the world. Like what is the proper way to handle some of these issues and also prevent young boys from sort of following following this path?
Helen Lewis
I mean, I'm not a parent so,
Emma Ilech
you know, take my parenting advice with an extreme pinch of salt.
Helen Lewis
But I do think that often the
Emma Ilech
way that we structured schools can be quite hard on boys. So I wrote about this in my first book, Difficult Women. I had a chapter on education.
Helen Lewis
And what lots of teachers told me
Emma Ilech
was that schools are now structured around essentially the perfect model pupil is the good girl, right, who just sits there, is quiet, does the work, whatever.
Helen Lewis
And for lots of boys, it's one of the reasons, I think that maybe ADHD diagnoses are on the rise. They just find school really tough. Like the level of concentration and quiet
Emma Ilech
and not burning off their excess energy, really tough.
Helen Lewis
And that gets interpreted as behavioral issues. So I think there is a piece there about just being more open to
Emma Ilech
the idea that you might need to give boys some latitude.
Helen Lewis
Richard Reeves had this idea about letting
Emma Ilech
boys start school a year later, right?
Helen Lewis
There are. And every so often someone will pop
Emma Ilech
up and say, maybe we should let teenagers start school later in the morning.
Helen Lewis
We do run schooling in the way
Emma Ilech
that is convenient for parents and teachers and maybe isn't actually the best thing for the individual children involved.
Helen Lewis
So I think that's definitely part of it. But the other thing is, you know, for all I had to my disputes
Emma Ilech
with Jordan Peterson, some of the stuff in his early work I think was really good and useful.
Helen Lewis
Like one of the things he used
Emma Ilech
to talk about was just self respect and discipline. And this is the kind of where the much mocked, like, clean your room
Helen Lewis
stuff, but essentially you would find quite sweet Reddit threads of boys or young
Emma Ilech
men saying, like, I've done everything on the thing. You know, there's this girl in my class, I really like her and like, I've tidied up. I've, you know, I've shaved. I've had a shower.
Helen Lewis
I've had a shower every day this week. And you think, who needs to be told this? But no one is born knowing how often to shower.
Emma Ilech
So it's clearly someone hadn't told them.
Helen Lewis
And that stuff I thought was really
Emma Ilech
positive, like, make yourself somebody that you respect and then other people will kind of want you.
Helen Lewis
And it's one of the really big things, I think, that's causing problems in some other societies where there are mismatched expectations.
Emma Ilech
Much more is that women want much more egalitarian relationships.
Helen Lewis
And because of feminism, they have the
Emma Ilech
means to turn down men who don't offer that. And so men have got to decide essentially whether do you want to hold out for somebody who will be submissive to you in this patriarchal way, or would you like to have a different kind of relationship that makes it Easier to have a relationship.
Helen Lewis
I mean, Matt Iglesia suggested, only slightly trolling, that more young men just need
Emma Ilech
to be like, pretend to be really, really left wing, given that women are more left wing than like, if it
Helen Lewis
really means that much to you to have a girlfriend, consider compromising. Consider like, taking an interest in, you
Emma Ilech
know, the clean energy or whatever it is that you're. The girl that you're interested in is also interested in.
Well, I was thinking about the politics of all this, and obviously there's been this sort of long and somewhat interminable debate after the 2024 election about what the left can do to reach young men. And do you think there's a version of, you know, here's what being a good man looks like that makes sense for the. For the left to offer? Or is. Is the whole frame wrong?
Helen Lewis
I think there absolutely is. And I think it's one that doesn't have to be a kind of anxious straitjacket, because I find that some of the way that some of the people on the right talk about masculinity is just.
Emma Ilech
It's like a constant monitoring. Like, you've just got to keep a grip on it and not do anything that, like women like, you know, in.
Helen Lewis
In a way that just sounds to me like deeply unrelaxing and actually oddly young and insecure. You know, I think that's kind of fascinating. I think Obama is a good example of this, right? Somebody who has been married for a
Emma Ilech
long time clearly massively respects his wife,
Helen Lewis
thinks that having a smart wife is
Emma Ilech
something that you boast about, right? It's not something that makes you feel
Helen Lewis
less of a man. It's like, look who I managed to land. I remember I went to the DNC in 2024, and it was the night
Emma Ilech
that both the Obamas spoke.
Helen Lewis
And he said, I'm the only guy
Emma Ilech
who has to follow Michelle Obama.
Helen Lewis
And it was a really beautiful moment because it was Chicago home crowd they had loved.
Emma Ilech
Michelle Obama could not have been happier and really probably more than him.
Helen Lewis
But it was cool in that way
Emma Ilech
of like, I don't have anything to prove.
Helen Lewis
And that's the thing I think is that I think Democrats could embrace is that I don't have anything to prove. That's the state you get to with your masculinity.
Emma Ilech
That actually, you know, what I do,
Helen Lewis
I like sports, but I also enjoy
Emma Ilech
watching films or like, I'm a dad
Helen Lewis
and actually having kids means a lot to me and all that kind of stuff. That's all there. And that I think does begin to look powerful in contrast to what you see sometimes on the MAGA side, which is guys in, like, heavy makeup and,
Emma Ilech
you know, like, hairspray saying that it's
Helen Lewis
gay to eat soup. Right. Like, I just think that.
Emma Ilech
Just shout out to Jesse Waters.
Helen Lewis
Right. But, like, that just begins to look really weird, doesn't it? Like, you just think just, just maybe just eat the soup and, like, have sex with whoever you want to have sex with. So I think that, like, that level of relaxation is there. I interviewed Gavin Newsom, and he was talking about the fact that.
Emma Ilech
How sad he thinks it is that, like, lots of young men haven't asked a girl out.
Helen Lewis
I could just. I could do with. I could have a few more stories,
Emma Ilech
like heartwarming stories about male politicians on the left talking about how they got together with their partners.
Helen Lewis
Like that would be fine.
Emma Ilech
Yeah.
Helen Lewis
Where it becomes really tense.
Emma Ilech
Right. Is when there's a sense of, you know, like, how much about male sexuality is inherently frightening or about dominance.
Helen Lewis
And I think that's the bit that's really.
Emma Ilech
That's really tough for the Democrats.
You mentioned both of these candidates, so I was going to ask about them, which is, like, it's interesting. We're talking now, and right at this moment, we're having this debate that sort of circles around masculinism with James Talarico, who the right has decided to go all in on saying is not masculine enough. Low. Tyler Rico, six Gender. Jimmy. Stephen Miller called him the Democrats first transgender Senate candidate. And then. Which again. And then on the other side, you've got Graham Platner. And the knock on him is certainly not that he's not masculine enough, but that he represents a more toxic brand of masculinity usually associated with MAGA candidates that the right is pushing, that he represents this. What do you make of both of these dynamics? And one thing that always gets me to think is, okay, if you are a guy running for office, it's like, I gotta be masculine. I can't be too masculine. I can't be toxic masculine. But I can't be called low T. And the right's going to do this. It's a tricky balance.
Yeah.
Helen Lewis
I think you're best served by just
Emma Ilech
being your actual personality, whatever that happens to be.
I mean, if it works, it works, and if it doesn't, it doesn't. Yeah, Right.
Helen Lewis
And not everybody's. I'm. I'm certainly not cut out for elected office. You know, I. It's not going to happen for me. I'm not you know, I find I would find people quite annoying if I
Emma Ilech
had to be nice to them all day. That would be too much for me.
Helen Lewis
Like, I'm not going to be a politician. But the Talarico thing I think is interesting because there's two separate things I've been thinking about. I spent the early 2000s saying I.
Emma Ilech
All this emphasis on language is turning people off.
Helen Lewis
It's really weird.
Emma Ilech
It's really exclusionary.
Helen Lewis
It just makes people think that you're having these semantic arguments about how many
Emma Ilech
genders there are and why are we doing this when there's all this other stuff going on in the world.
Helen Lewis
The thing I would say about him is the reason that he came to fame is that he went on Joe Rogan and a big source of argument
Emma Ilech
about Democrats about doing that.
Helen Lewis
So what he isn't. He's not from that bit of the progressive wing of the Democrats that has a very minority set of views on
Emma Ilech
language and things like that, and also
Helen Lewis
thinks that anybody who doesn't share them
Emma Ilech
basically is a bigot who should be shot.
Helen Lewis
Right. He's willing to go out there and make. If he thinks there's six genders, God bless him, it's America.
Emma Ilech
You're entitled to your views. Go out and argue that.
Helen Lewis
Right. The problem that I think that lots of people had during that period and
Emma Ilech
people like me had was this feeling that, by the way, the commissar has declared that there are six genders. And anybody who dissents from this, you
know, is do better.
Helen Lewis
Right, Exactly. Do better with the claps. But like, so I appreciate. I would like to have an argument with James Talariko about how many genders there are. I still feel like they're probably infinite genders, actually. And probably I think he's right that God is non binary. Like he's God, he's not a person. Why would he. This is. Reminds me of the arguments I used to have with my very Catholic parents in my teens. So I think there's. That stuff is. Is kind of interesting. But so, I mean, winning Texas for
Emma Ilech
the Democrats is a massive stretch anyway. So let's be honest, what will probably happen is that he will lose and everybody will say it's because he said all of these things. In 2020, it's probably more likely to be just because he's had a blue rosette on.
Helen Lewis
But there should be room enough in
Emma Ilech
the tent for people with a wide range of views.
Helen Lewis
And if you can. I feel like if you can go
Emma Ilech
out as far as Platner on one side and that's.
Helen Lewis
And then you should be able to go out as far as Talarico on the other side.
Emma Ilech
Platinum's an interesting one because it's someone who clearly throughout most of his life, like sort of did embrace, even though he had pretty left wing views, did sort of embrace the language of a more toxic masculinity set. All kind, I mean, all of his Reddit posts. Right. And now has sort of, you know, at least in his politics over the last couple of years has been much more, at least in the way he talks, much less of the toxic masculine sort of guy. And then you get the sexting scandal and you're like, well, that's more traditional guy who's just behaving.
That's quite bipartisan. Yeah.
Guy behaving shittily. Right. So it is a, it's, it's, that's a curious one to me because I think some people perceive him as the typical toxic masculine guy, but I don't quite know if that's his problem, even though he clearly does have some problems right now.
Helen Lewis
I think Josh Barrow identified a very
Emma Ilech
big problem and he blumped Fetterman in this group as well, John Fetterman of Pennsylvania, which is just the kind of screw up.
Helen Lewis
I think he referred to them as
Emma Ilech
both being low conscientiousness. And that's the thing.
Helen Lewis
And I think that is the real knock on them. James Tallarico, I think I might think
Emma Ilech
that he said some very silly things and he might have some disagreements with me.
Helen Lewis
What I have not heard anybody say
Emma Ilech
so far, I've not heard anyone impugning his character.
Helen Lewis
Right.
Emma Ilech
By all accounts, he seems to be a decent guy.
Helen Lewis
I'm not sure I would be willing to say that about Graham Platner.
Emma Ilech
I think he has probably treated people in his life quite badly.
Helen Lewis
And the other thing, again, that is gendered, I am not sure that a female candidate with that kind of background
Emma Ilech
would get all those passes. No, there is a kind of boys would be boys.
Helen Lewis
I was just thinking about the fact that the two most chaotic female Republicans
Emma Ilech
I would have said were Marjorie Taylor Greene, now out of Congress, and Nancy Mace, now sort of friendless and influenceless.
Helen Lewis
So there is a kind of degree
Emma Ilech
of forgiveness of Platner that is very much tied to both him being a man and him having committed very male coded sins in the past. Right. I think that has to be part of that conversation.
What do you think about the MAGA women in this way? Cause you talked about Phyllis Schlafly, but like, are The Marjorie Taylor Greenes and Nancy Maces, like, are they sort of the, you know, 10 iterations away from Phyllis Schlafly on this?
Jon Favreau
You've got.
Emma Ilech
And you've got, like, Caroline Levitt sort of making the case at the briefing every day. And what does it take to be a MAGA woman in good standing in this world of masculinism?
Helen Lewis
I think you've got a couple of
Emma Ilech
archetypes that you can play into.
Helen Lewis
One of them is the kind of hyper secretary, right?
Emma Ilech
The kind of very much the efficient executor of Trump's power.
Helen Lewis
And I would put Caroline leave it
Emma Ilech
in that group, right? She doesn't set policy on her own. What she does is she goes out and she's the saleswoman for it.
Helen Lewis
So there's that kind of archetype, then
Emma Ilech
there's the kind of ball buster, and you get kind of honorary man status until you don't.
Helen Lewis
And then there's the kind of mother, which I think Susie Wiles has got, has essentially been like, she's the designated grown up.
Emma Ilech
And everybody else, therefore gets to act even more like a teenager. Because actually, you know, there's mom who's gonna kind of keep this. You know, she's the one who's gonna make me get to the briefing on time. Oh, what a buzzkill.
Helen Lewis
And that's. So that is one, maybe one version
Emma Ilech
of kind of authority within that MAGA setup.
Helen Lewis
But, you know, I think that we were just talking earlier about the number of MAGA women who've been burned essentially by this, by feeling that they were not respected in the end, that actually
Emma Ilech
their voices weren't heard or they weren't really in the power games.
Helen Lewis
And I think Trump himself is. There's a phrase that they use in very postmodern graduate seminar, but homosocial, which
Emma Ilech
is that actually his primary social bonds are with men. He's interested in what men think.
Helen Lewis
He sees himself in competition with men. Women are not massively interesting to him, except maybe as a means of keeping score, like he seems to be. And then maybe this is something he's
Emma Ilech
just come to in his later years.
Helen Lewis
He seems to be much more interested in how attractive men are than how attractive women are these days, which is, you know, a choice and a reversal from maybe where he was. But it also does speak to what he does, which is he thinks that he is.
Emma Ilech
He lives in a man's world, and women are kind of just an adjunct to that.
Helen Lewis
I don't feel like he really sees
Emma Ilech
himself in competition with women ever. They're people that he would need to beat because by definition, they're not playing the same game he is.
Yeah, no, I get that too. You describe this masculinism as hitting its imperial overreach phase, like the Roman Empire they all idolize. What does that look like in practice? And do you think it starts costing them? Do you think it sort of undermines this, this whole movement?
Helen Lewis
I think when it moves beyond the
Emma Ilech
kind of disrespect to designated enemy women, that's quite dangerous, you know, and I
Helen Lewis
think that that's, that has Trump can be as rude about Rosie o' Donnell
Emma Ilech
as he wants, and that's never going to cause him any problems.
Helen Lewis
But the feeling that when people start
Emma Ilech
saying overtly sexist, dismissive things about women we like, I do still think that will be a problem for them.
Helen Lewis
And I also think that when Twitter
Emma Ilech
was Twitter, people on the left got very carried away and said a lot of things that probably in the cold light of day, maybe they don't feel great about.
Helen Lewis
And this exactly the same thing I
Emma Ilech
would say is happening with the right now on Elon Musk's. Lots of people are saying things out loud that I think in a couple of years time might be when the wind changes again, real millstones around their neck.
Helen Lewis
And just ultimately, I don't think that Americans like overt bigotry. I don't like overt evil. And so the coded language of this stuff about, you know, feminism has made
Emma Ilech
women unhappy is kind of, you know, framed as kind of concern trolling.
Helen Lewis
People regard very differently from she's a bitch.
Emma Ilech
And at that point, people are just a bit like, well, it's a bit uncalled for, isn't it?
Helen Lewis
You know, I don't know how this went down in America, but certainly in Europe, the way that Trump and Vance treated Zelensky, just that straightforward discourtesy, played really badly here. And I'm not sure how in America
Emma Ilech
it played with swing voters.
Helen Lewis
I'd be really interested to know. But people do have a very finely tuned sense of like, they don't like rudeness, maybe they like caricatured, campy WWE heel turns. But just like that level of disrespect,
Emma Ilech
I think sometimes when it feels uncalled for, I think is still a turn off.
Helen Lewis
And I think because of the fact that everybody has got so into their bubble and that, you know, that maga
Emma Ilech
masculine sphere is so on the march,
Helen Lewis
you do end up with people like
Emma Ilech
Fuentes saying things like women should be
Helen Lewis
putting gulags and that will be something
Emma Ilech
that people get asked about for years and years to come and they will
Helen Lewis
either have to say no, I don't
Emma Ilech
think women should be putting gulags.
Helen Lewis
And then some people will hate that or they'll have to go along with,
Emma Ilech
you know, Nick Fuentes is Nick Fuentes
Helen Lewis
and a lot of women. I think at that point there's already
Emma Ilech
a big voting gap.
Yep.
Helen Lewis
Anyway, you know, there was a great piece in I think Buzzfeed in 2016
Emma Ilech
about the Ivanka Trump voter. You know, the people who like to vanker Trump because she was the reassurance that this wasn't just a kind of bully boys club and they're in danger of becoming that losing that gloss of irony and awareness against sour faced feminists and lesbians and it becoming oh actually no, the mask has slipped. They actually just don't like women. I think that is still dangerous in American politics.
Jon Favreau
Yeah.
Emma Ilech
I remember being surprised even in 2024 that people who do focus groups would say that people would bring up spontaneously without even being asked. J.D. vance's childless cat lady's comment that that was just something that broke through and it's very hard for things to break through and really bothered people. I think Trump's. I think you mentioned this in the piece the quiet piggy.
Helen Lewis
That quiet piggy, it's just rude. It's just unnecessary. And the childless cat lady, I think, you know, he obviously thinks it's because it's, you know, it's about Baron Apparatchik,
Emma Ilech
that Scott Yenna of the Heritage Foundations phrase.
Helen Lewis
But enough people will know somebody in
Emma Ilech
their circle who is infertile, not by choice.
Helen Lewis
And for them that might be the
Emma Ilech
worst thing in their lives.
Helen Lewis
Desperately wanting to be parents and haven't
Emma Ilech
been able to make that happen.
Helen Lewis
And then you just think, well, who's this guy? Like, you know, it just the picking on the minority does not land in
Emma Ilech
the way they want to. There's a kind of splash damage around it.
Helen Lewis
And then that does become something I think the same thing you see with. Do you see the congressman who deleted his tweet about how he wants to he wants to get rid of Pride
Emma Ilech
Month and have nuclear Family Month and
Helen Lewis
will eliminate homosexuality for America. And I was really interested to see that. Oh no, a staffer posted that because again, open overt homophobia is still something
Emma Ilech
that makes people recoil in America.
Yeah.
Jon Favreau
Saying the quiet part out loud does
Emma Ilech
seem like it could be what, what, what saves us.
Helen Lewis
Right. But Trump always get Trump. Traditionally Trump has got away with it because he says outrageous things in a
Emma Ilech
kind of campy Liberace w WWE way
Helen Lewis
and JD Vance does not have access to that register. There is nothing about J.D. vance that says I'm fun.
Emma Ilech
This is show business.
Helen Lewis
It just comes up.
Emma Ilech
No subtlety. No subtlety.
Helen Lewis
And nasty.
Emma Ilech
Yeah. And unnecessary, as my mother would say. That was unnecessary. J.D. vance.
Jon Favreau
Yeah.
Emma Ilech
This is why Rubio is catching up to him in the invisible primary right now. Helen Lewis, thank you so much for joining. This was a fantastic conversation about this and really appreciate it.
Helen Lewis
Thank you very much.
Jon Favreau
Offline is a crooked media production. It's written and hosted by me, Jon Favreau. It's produced by Emma Ilech Frank. Austin Fisher is our senior producer and Anisha Banerjee is our associate producer. Audio support from Charlotte Landis. Adrian Hill is our head of news and politics. Matt de Groat is our VP of production. Jordan Katz and Kenny Siegel take care of our music. Thanks to Delon Villanueva, Eric Schutt and our digital team who film and share our episodes as videos. Every Friday week, our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America.
Emma Ilech
East.
Grainger Advertiser
Granger knows when you're a procurement manager for an office park, you're not managing one building, you're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog H Vac on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24. 7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.
Episode Title: Is Masculinism Holding MAGA Together?
Air Date: June 6, 2026
Host: Jon Favreau (Crooked Media)
Guest: Helen Lewis (The Atlantic)
Producer: Emma Ilech Frank
This episode explores Helen Lewis's Atlantic article, “The Men Who Want Women to Be Quiet,” which reveals how masculinism—a reactionary movement seeking to reverse feminist gains and reassert male primacy—has become a crucial unifying force in the American right and the MAGA movement. Jon and Helen discuss the history, present dynamics, aesthetic, and political implications of masculinism, as well as how the left and broader society could more productively respond to legitimate male grievances.
On coding masculinity:
“Men should be manly in this very narrowly defined way, and women should be feminine and not too ambitious, all of that kind of stuff.” (Helen Lewis, 06:30)
On empathy as weakness:
“Doug Wilson has a podcast called Man Rampant ... the first episode is called the Sin of Empathy ... Elon Musk quite often does little rants about the hard men of Gondor...” (Helen Lewis, 31:24)
On the zero-sum worldview:
“Every negotiation there is a winner and a loser, and you bully people until you make sure that you are the winner and that everything is zero sum.” (Helen Lewis, 35:36)
On masculinity and the left:
“I think Obama is a good example ... somebody who has been married for a long time, clearly massively respects his wife, thinks that having a smart wife is something that you boast about, right? It’s not something that makes you feel less of a man.” (Helen Lewis, 48:14)
On performative vs. sincere extremism:
“It’s one of the things ... you have to acknowledge the posting of it all. And so much of politics is now posting.” (Helen Lewis, 27:10)
On the overreach and political danger:
“You do end up with people like Fuentes saying things like women should be put in gulags and that will be something people get asked about for years ... and a lot of women ... at that point, there’s already a big voting gap.” (Helen Lewis, 60:35)
| Time | Topic / Section | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:40–05:55 | Defining masculinism and its difference from sexism/misogyny | | 05:08–08:21 | Masculinism as unifying force in the right/MAGA | | 09:34–12:37 | Historical antecedents: Schlafly and the 1970s, post-2016 backlash | | 17:40–22:57 | Profiles of movement leaders: Doug Wilson, Pete Hegseth and policy implications | | 22:35–23:05 | Masculinism as aesthetic and culture | | 25:11–29:15 | Online personas vs. real-life interviews; performativity vs. sincerity | | 31:11–35:18 | Empathy as a ‘sin’; zero-sum logic; masculinity’s limits | | 38:00–40:12 | Christian vs. masculinist visions of Jesus; Andrew Tate & faith | | 43:42–47:20 | Acknowledging real male grievances & how the left could respond | | 48:14–49:47 | Obama as alternative masculine role model | | 55:40–58:14 | The place and limits of women in MAGA/masculinist movement | | 58:34–60:53 | Overreach phase: when overt bigotry becomes politically costly | | 60:53–62:20 | Public reactions to sexist rhetoric; why overt bigotry can backfire |
This nuanced conversation provides a detailed look at how masculinism functions as a potent force undergirding MAGA ideology, the evolution and dangers of performative masculinity, and the challenges—and opportunities—it presents for opposition politics and society at large.
[Summary by Podcast Summarizer — Full transcript reviewed, content-only sections highlighted for accuracy and natural flow.]