← Old Gods of Appalachia
Old Gods of Appalachia
Stacking the Odds
00:24:25
"Stacking the Odds" was featured in the holiday live show "Family Traditions," which was originally performed at the Orange Peel in Asheville, NC, in December of 2023.
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- [00:01]
Steve Schell
Well, hey there family. Steve Schell from Old Gods of Appalachia here. If you're listening to one of the earlier episodes of our show, those before the beginning of season five, you may hear us talk about supporting the show through our Patreon. I'm just popping in to let you know that Patreon is going away. We just launched our very own subscription service, the Holler. The Holler is powered by Supercast, a platform built from the ground up for podcasters and their listeners. We think you're going to like it a lot. So if you'd like to support the show and enjoy ad free episodes, exclusive storylines and more, visit oldgodsofappalachia.com the Holler and join the family today. You can find that link in the show notes of every episode. Hey hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons N Safeway. This new year, make sure you take some time to take care of yourself and your family. Stock up on your favorite personal care Items now through January 28th and earn four times the points to use towards discounts on groceries or fuel. Shop in store online or in the app for items like Pantene Shampoo, Old Spice Body Wash, Campers, Swaddlers, Diapers, Venus Razors, and Crest Complete toothpaste and earn four times points on your purchase offer ends January 28th. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.
- [01:24]
Nina Jennings
Yeah, sure thing.
- [01:26]
Steve Schell
Hey, you sold that car yet? Yeah, sold it to Carvana. Oh, I thought you were selling to that guy. The guy who wanted to pay me in foreign currency, no interest over 36 months. Yeah, no. Carvana gave me an offer in minutes, picked it up and paid me on the spot. It was so convenient.
- [01:45]
Nina Jennings
Just like that.
- [01:46]
Steve Schell
Yeah. No hassle? None. That is super convenient.
- [01:50]
Ryan Seacrest
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- [02:23]
Steve Schell
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- [02:54]
Marigold Underwood
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- [03:26]
Steve Schell
Old Gods of Appalachia is a horror anthology podcast and therefore may contain material not suitable for all audiences, so listener discretion is advised. Old Gods of Appalachia presents Stacking the Odds A Tale for the season Bauer County, West Virginia December 21, 1939 Bauer county lay under a light blanket of snow that sparkled in the sunlight as Nina Jennings steered her car carefully up the road that wound around Oak Mountain to her mama's house. Snow flurries had come the previous afternoon, growing a little heavier after dusk, but by morning the skies cleared and the sun shone down, melting the snow from the roads and making her visit possible. There are still a few icy patches in the areas where the trees cast more shade than the weak winter sun could penetrate, so she took her time. But most of the trip had been easy, even pleasant, as she drove through a sparkling winter wonderland. The trunk of Nina's Packard held presents wrapped in simple brown paper and tied with ribbons of red and green yarn, a huge tin filled with sausage balls and two long strands of cranberry and popcorn she'd strung together over the course of the last few evenings. Tonight, her family would gather to celebrate the winter solstice and trim the Christmas tree, as they had every year since she could remember. They would not exchange gifts until Christmas Eve, but as Nina had finished wrapping all her gifts, she figured it was best to go ahead and bring them over and put them under the tree. Her cat, Mr. Biscuit, had an unfortunate habit of chewing the paper off the packages as well as a fondness for yarn. Nina pulled her car to a stop in front of the tiny white farmhouse. Its bright blue shutters and matching rocking chairs gleamed in the sunlight with the fresh coat of paint her cousin Tobias had applied that summer. She began unpacking the car, loading up her arms with as much as she could safely carry. The front door was unlocked, so she let herself inside, calling out a greeting as she crossed the threshold.
- [05:57]
Nina Jennings
Mama, I'm here.
- [05:59]
Steve Schell
Marigold Underwood, matriarch of the Underwood family and fire of the mountain, known to just about everybody around these parts as granny Underwood, hollered to her from the back of the house.
- [06:10]
Tobias Underwood
I'm in the kitchen, darling. What I told you about slammin my door?
- [06:15]
Nina Jennings
Sorry, mama. Got my arms full. I couldn't catch it.
- [06:18]
Steve Schell
Marigold emerged from the kitchen to help her daughter, wiping her hands on a dish towel, she tied her hair up in a kerchief, and her apron was liberally dusted with flour. As Nina carried in an armload of gifts, she caught the door behind her and closed it gently.
- [06:32]
Nina Jennings
I see Tobias has already brought the tree. I didn't see his truck outside.
- [06:36]
Tobias Underwood
He went out and cut one dime for me yesterday. Had to work this morning. He should be here directly.
- [06:42]
Steve Schell
The furniture in Marigold Underwood's parlor had been rearranged to accommodate a tall, lush balsam fir that was placed in a bucket of water in front of the bay window. The bucket had been cleverly concealed behind a draping of a pretty red and green plaid flannel upon which Nina would eventually arrange the gifts she'd brought for the family. For now, she placed them in the hall closet so they wouldn't be underfoot during the tree trimming that evening.
- [07:05]
Tobias Underwood
Where's that son in law? Mine? I thought you said Calvin was coming with you.
- [07:09]
Nina Jennings
He's over at the school. He decided the children could use one last rehearsal before the show on Saturday.
- [07:14]
Steve Schell
Calvin Jennings was the teacher at the Booker school, a single room wooden structure in Cabro which provided education for black children in bear county aged 5 to 12. He had taken the position after he finished his training when Nina's brother in law, Victor, was promoted to superintendent of the county school district. As the sole instructor at the Booker, Calvin was responsible for everything from developing each day's multiple lesson plans to preparing school lunches to providing janitorial services. And this year, for directing the school's first annual Christmas pageant. The first, he hoped, of many more to come.
- [07:50]
Nina Jennings
Hmm.
- [07:51]
Tobias Underwood
He surely does love those children.
- [07:54]
Nina Jennings
He does. He's a great teacher. He would have made a good father. If we've ever had any of our.
- [07:59]
Tobias Underwood
Own, there's still time. If the Lord wills it. But it may be God just has other plans for you, baby.
- [08:06]
Steve Schell
Nina Jennings found she was not particularly disappointed that the home she and Calvin shared had had not been blessed with children. When they had first married, they tried for a baby, but months and eventually years passed and Nina never found herself with child. Her heart ached as she'd watched their friends and peers welcome new life into the world, and she saw the longing in her husband's eye. Calvin's mother had died when he was little, more than an infant, and his daddy never remarried. And while his father had several siblings, and thus there were always plenty of cousins around to play with at family gatherings, Calvin had grown up a little lonely. His daddy was a kind man, a loving father, but their home was a quiet place, haunted by his grief. And Calvin dreamed of having a family of his own to fill his house with laughter and games and music and light. And it had hurt feeling she couldn't make that dream come true for him. As the years passed, however, and she watched as her peers grew tired, worn down by the sheer work of raising children, the constant pressure of making ends meet, and the fear for their futures that kept them away awake at night, Nina began to think perhaps it had been a blessing in disguise for her, if not for Calvin. The life of a mother looked utterly exhausting to her, and she wasn't at all certain she was cut out for it. She found she was quite happy with the life they enjoyed together. Their evening spent curled up by the fire, playing cards or board games, listening to radio programs or reading books, volunteering with the church, helping her own mother with the work she did for their community. And thus she had taken her mama's advice to heart. If they were meant to have a child, then a child would come when the time was right. And if not, then it simply wasn't meant to be.
- [09:49]
Nina Jennings
Calvin will be along later this evening. You coming to watch the Christmas pageant, aren't you, mama?
- [09:55]
Tobias Underwood
Why, I wouldn't miss it. It's not every day a woman gets to see her son in law's directorial debut.
- [10:01]
Nina Jennings
Don't you dare tell him that that man is already planning how he can make the show bigger and better next year.
- [10:07]
Calvin Jennings
He.
- [10:07]
Nina Jennings
He don't need you giving him a big head.
- [10:09]
Tobias Underwood
I'll tell him whatever I want.
- [10:11]
Steve Schell
The two women continued bantering back and forth in the comfortable way of mothers and daughters while Nina finished unloading the Packard. Though the majority of the Underwood clan would not arrive until around 6 that evening, Nina and Tobias had promised to come early to help with preparations. Their annual solstice celebration was a potluck, and everyone would bring a dish or two. But there was still plenty to do. Tobias would bring holly boughs and mistletoe and other decorative items from nature that needed hanging. Chairs would need to be brought into the parlor from other rooms or fetched up from the basement to ensure everybody had a place to sit. The good china had to be set out and the silverware polished. And of course, there was the bacon. Marigold had spent the past few days making cakes, pies, and a seemingly endless array of cookies. There were the holiday staples pecan and mincemeat pies, fruitcakes and bourbon balls. And then, of course, there was her famous apple stack cake. Granny Underwood stacked cake was a thing of legend. Consisting of 12 impossibly thin golden layers of molasses flavored cake, each slathered with a healthy coating of spiced apple butter and sealed with yet another layer of the same. The cake had been wrapped and allowed to sit for the past couple of days to soften and allow the glorious flavors to properly combine. Tradition held that the cake had to be tasted by at least 12 different people on the same day. It was cut to ensure good luck for the following year. For most folks, that part was little more than superstition. But a stacked cake baked by Marigold Underwood, that was another matter altogether. It was one of the many subtle layers of protection she had been weaving around her family since she was just a new bride. And it was worked. It also tasted like pure heaven, so it had never been too much trouble to find 12 people willing to eat it. The difficulty was making it last through the 12. As Nina pulled a spare apron from the hook on the back of the kitchen door and tied it around her waist, the sound of tires crunching on gravel reached their ears.
- [12:19]
Tobias Underwood
Gotta be Tobias.
- [12:21]
Steve Schell
Nina and Marigold headed back into the parlor just as Tobias Underwood walked through the door, dressed in a fluffy red and white Santa suit, complete with stocking cap.
- [12:29]
Calvin Jennings
Ho, ho ho. Merry Christmas.
- [12:32]
Steve Schell
The two women laughed delightedly.
- [12:35]
Nina Jennings
Where on earth did you find that?
- [12:37]
Calvin Jennings
One of the fellers at work asked if I wanted it. Said he outgrew it. It's nice, right?
- [12:43]
Tobias Underwood
Yes, nephew, you make a right handsome Santa Claus. But I hope you bought a change of clothes cause we got work to do.
- [12:50]
Calvin Jennings
Oh. Oh yeah. I got my street clothes on underneath it. I just thought you ladies might like a preview.
- [12:55]
Steve Schell
Tobias stripped off the Santa suit, which was getting a little warm already, and the three of them got to work. Nina and Tobias swept and mopped floors, hung decorations, and saw to the other matters as setting up for the party. While Granny Underwood finished the last of her cooking. By the time family and friends began to arrive, there were candles lit in each window. The doorways were strung with mistletoe, the mantle had been draped in bounds a holly and fur, and the sideboard was stocked with an amazing assortment of sweets. In the dining room, the long table had been set up buffet style while the chairs had been moved to the parlor. Nina's sausage balls sat at one end of the table and were soon joined by a wide array of other finger foods, including her older sister's deviled eggs and Tobias pigs in a blanket, a perennial favorite of the grandchildren. Marigold's apple stacked cake held pride of place, situated on a silver cake tray that had been an anniversary gift from her late husband Lee, some years ago.
- [13:50]
Nina Jennings
Mama, your cake looks beautiful. I don't think I've ever seen you make one so pretty.
- [13:56]
Calvin Jennings
She ain't lying, Auntie. There's one fine looking cake. You sure I can't just scooch on in here?
- [14:03]
Steve Schell
And the speed with which Marigold Underwood smacked her nephew's hand away was like the kiss of a hummingbird's wing, Too fast to be perceived by the eyes of man.
- [14:12]
Tobias Underwood
Now on, boy, get your hands back. You know better. I'll let you know when it's time.
- [14:17]
Steve Schell
The distribution of Granny Underwood's apple stack cake was serious business. The 12 slices had to be consumed on the same night, and the baker of the cake could not be the one to eat the first or final slice. It was preferable that some slices be consumed by blood relations and others by guests, although the precise distribution was of little matter. This year, Nina and Calvin would have the first two slices. Tobias would take the third. The fourth and the fifth were promised to two of Marigold's closer neighbors, Mr. And Mrs. Sensabaugh, who had come to see her regarding their daughter's prospects for marriage in the coming year. This was accomplished by a midnight visit to the pig pen to see whether an old pig or a young pig would speak first. If an old pig gave the first grunt, then the young woman in question would marry an older man, while a younger pig squealing heralded matrimony with a younger suitor. And sure enough, a handsome young pig spoke right upon their approach, howling either for slop or for fear that his time had come. The sensibles were thrilled, and Marigold had invited them to her annual solstice, potluck and tree trimming for a slice of apple stack cake to add a little luck to the girl's prospects. What she had not mentioned to the sensibaughs was that when that porcine prophet had cried out to greet them, she hadn't heard a squeal of the usual sort. Instead, that little future barbecue had looked her right in the eye and spoke her name. Marigold. Just like that, Marigold. Granny Underwood had quickly turned away and hurried the sensibiles along. In the general run of things, hearing an animal speak could mean any number of things. Animals speaking near the solstice, however, was a particularly bad omen. It wasn't as bad as if you sat under a pine tree on Christmas Day, which was a surefire way to make sure you didn't live to see the next one. But it wasn't good. Marigold was worried. The signs had been unclear in every attempt at divination she'd made in the week leading up to the turning of the season, and this didn't help matters. It had been a long and difficult year for Bear county and the family. Early in the year the union got on strike at the Cabrera Mine situation that had dragged on for months and resulted in bloodshed on both sides before an agreement was reached and work resumed. There had been an outbreak of measles, which several of her grandchildren had caught. Tobias had broken his arm back in the spring and been laid up out of work for weeks, although to be fair, he had painted the house late that summer by way of helping regain his strength, and it was looking mighty fine. Her daughter Tillie had endured a rough pregnancy and ended up confined to bed for its two final months, requiring everyone in the family to pitch in and look after her other two youngins while her husband was at work. As 1939 drew to a close, however, things had begun to look up. All she needed now was some little sausage factory bringing bad luck to their door. While the cake wasn't the only working she would perform to ensure her family's peace in the coming year, she was determined to do everything in her power to ensure it was a success. Slice number six would go to Mr. Jenkins, who lived a few miles down the road on the way to town. Delmar Jenkins, bitter ass old miser that he was, became an absolute sweetheart from Thanksgiving through Boxing Day. Marigold figured it was because he was half lit most of the time, but every Christmas Day, for as long as she and Doc had lived on Oak Mountain, that crabby old Some bitch had turned up with a dozen eggs and a box of chocolates for their house. He continued this tradition after Doc passed, even began dropping off eggs every now and again, otherwise checking in on so he too had earned his spot at the family solstice party. Marigold herself would take the seventh slice, seven being both generally an auspicious number and Doc's birthday. She heard the sound of footsteps on the porch and Nina called out, mama.
- [18:12]
Nina Jennings
Tamara and Perry are here with Jeremiah and Gregory.
- [18:15]
Calvin Jennings
Oh, looks like the Sensibiles and the Harpers from church are coming up the drive, too.
- [18:19]
Steve Schell
Marigold remained focused on her stack cake, running through the last five intended recipients in her head.
- [18:25]
Calvin Jennings
Auntie, you all right?
- [18:27]
Tobias Underwood
What? Oh, I'm all right. Just want to make sure everybody's got plenty to eat.
- [18:33]
Calvin Jennings
With all due respect, Auntie, don't.
- [18:36]
Steve Schell
Don't play with me, Toby.
- [18:39]
Calvin Jennings
I'm sorry, ma'am, but I know that tone. That's the way you used to talk to me before, you know. Before I knew.
- [18:48]
Tobias Underwood
Knew what, nephew?
- [18:50]
Calvin Jennings
You know about this hoodoo shit.
- [18:53]
Tobias Underwood
Tobias, language.
- [18:55]
Calvin Jennings
Uh, Auntie. Now that was not even fair and you know it.
- [19:00]
Tobias Underwood
I'm sorry, boy. Sometimes it's just too easy and I can't resist. I'm fine, Tobias.
- [19:09]
Calvin Jennings
I seen the way you've been looking at a cake all night. What's going on? Auntie, wait.
- [19:15]
Steve Schell
The.
- [19:15]
Calvin Jennings
The cake ain't like haunted or nothing, is it? Don't tell me we can't eat a cake because there's a hain in it.
- [19:23]
Tobias Underwood
There ain't no Hain in that cake, baby. We gon eat it. We gonna eat all of it. We got to. You know that.
- [19:32]
Steve Schell
Before Tobias could ask anything else, Marigold Underwood went to hug her grandbabies and make sure everyone had full plates and were on their way to having full bellies. Tobias noticed that she kept eyeing the stacked cake and. And glancing around the room nervously. He saw her visibly relax a little when her Bible study and crocheting companion, Martha Ann showed up with her best friend and roommate, Ms. Barbara. Slices number 10 and 11 respectively. Tobias made his way across the rapidly filling parlor and pulled Nina away from an undoubtedly thrilling conversation with her husband and brother in law about grading standards in the county school system, for which she seemed grateful.
- [20:11]
Calvin Jennings
Have you noticed that Auntie is acting a little, I don't know, strange this evening?
- [20:18]
Nina Jennings
I mean, she's got a house full of family. She done run herself ragged getting all the food ready. She might be a little tired.
- [20:26]
Calvin Jennings
You think she might be a little fixated on the snack cake this year? Like no matter who she's talking to or what else goes on, she keeps checking on. Look, look, there she go again.
- [20:38]
Steve Schell
Granny Underwood sat on the sofa next to her grandson Gregory, who was talking animatedly about all the things he hoped Sandy might bring him that year. She kept nodding distractedly, her eyes flicking to the window, then back to the cake, before returning to Gregory and his story. It just wasn't like her at all. There was one thing you'd normally have to pry Marigold away from. It was her grandchildren.
- [21:00]
Calvin Jennings
See, she keeps looking out the window like she's expecting someone or something. I don't know what the cake got to do with it, but we might have trouble, and she wouldn't tell me nothing.
- [21:12]
Nina Jennings
I don't know, Tobias. I mean, did you ask her directly if anything was wrong?
- [21:17]
Calvin Jennings
I did, and she tried to distract me. She kept making jokes and brushing me off. Nina, she was talking to me like I don't know nothing about, you know, hoodoo shit.
- [21:28]
Nina Jennings
Yes, well, we can stand out here whispering about her, or we can ask her like grown folks. I just saw her go in the kitchen. Come on.
- [21:36]
Steve Schell
The cousin stepped over to the kitchen door and peered inside. Marigold Underwood paced the linoleum with the nervous energy most often seen in the hospital waiting room. She wrung her hands and muttered to herself, and when she started toward the door, back into the parlor, no doubt to double check on the cake again, they quickly stepped inside. Tobias shut the door behind them.
- [21:56]
Nina Jennings
Mama, are you okay? Tobias is worried about you.
- [21:59]
Calvin Jennings
Why you gotta put it on me?
- [22:00]
Nina Jennings
You hush. Go change into your Santa outfit. Give me and Mama some privacy. You're worrying me. Mama, please tell me what's going on.
- [22:09]
Tobias Underwood
Nina, honey, we can talk about it later. I just need to see you.
- [22:14]
Nina Jennings
Tobias is right. You keep watching the windows. You're hovering over the apple stack cake like it's a pot about to boil over. Mama, what's wrong? Is something coming? Do we need to be ready?
- [22:26]
Steve Schell
Cheers erupted from the next room, and a mighty ho, ho, ho reached their ears as Tobias made his entrance as Santa.
- [22:33]
Tobias Underwood
Hon, I just want to be sure that cake gets eaten for midnight. We need every little bit of good fortune we can get this coming year. If it's anything like the last one. Tobias getting hurt, people getting sick, and there's darker things stirring out there in the world. I can feel it. You got three black folks in one house with gifts like ours. You have to know trouble will come calling. On top of all that, a pig spoke to me today.
- [23:02]
Nina Jennings
A pig spoke to you?
- [23:05]
Tobias Underwood
Mm. Looked me dead in the eye and said my name.
- [23:10]
Nina Jennings
That's not good.
- [23:11]
Tobias Underwood
No, it's not. Little bastard's lucky he ain't ham and biscuits by now.
- [23:15]
Nina Jennings
But, Mama, everybody always eats your cake. Usually. There's hardly any crumbs left. You give it to people who love and appreciate you. Sharing that delicious thing that you worked so hard on lets them know that they're loved and appreciated, too. How could we not get that blessing?
- [23:31]
Tobias Underwood
I might have messed up. You know Tilly and Perry couldn't make it this year.
- [23:36]
Nina Jennings
I know, but Perry's people deserve to see them babies, too.
- [23:40]
Tobias Underwood
You think I don't know that? But it leaves us one piece short without your brother in law here to eat it. So I asked somebody else, and they ain't showed up. And I'm starting to worry they may not make it. They probably don't understand how important sharing in this is to our family.
- [23:58]
Nina Jennings
Not understand, Mama, who did you ask?
- [24:03]
Tobias Underwood
I was down at the bank handling some business, and that nice Mr. Rowe who works at the front counter wished me a Merry Christmas. I wish them one back.
- [24:13]
Steve Schell
Yes.
- [24:13]
Tobias Underwood
You know, he's a handsome young man. And he said, you have a good holiday, Ms. Underwood, and save me a piece of that stack cake. Now, I said I would. And in fact, he could come join us for our tree trimming and have a piece when it's nice and fresh.
- [24:33]
Nina Jennings
Wait. Kenny Roe? That white boy that used to work at the gas station till his daddy got him a job at the bank? You promised him a piece of cake?
- [24:41]
Tobias Underwood
He just been so helpful. And he is a handsome boy. And I was just caught up in the holiday spiritism.
- [24:50]
Nina Jennings
Mama, why would he come all the way out here just to get a piece of cake? The Rose are town folk. They don't come up on the mountain.
- [24:58]
Tobias Underwood
I am very much aware of that, baby. I just thought it might help us to spread the luck around, introduce some new energy.
- [25:06]
Nina Jennings
Well, even if Mr. Big Shot Bank Job Row doesn't come see us, it's not like you don't have other protections in place. Bad stuff's come before. Hell, Mama. We've gone chasing after it, if we're honest.
- [25:19]
Tobias Underwood
Nina, language.
- [25:21]
Steve Schell
The kitchen door swung open untilbias, who had overheard the last bit of their conversation, came into the kitchen, still Mary in his red and white suit.
- [25:29]
Calvin Jennings
Nina's right, Auntie. We've been through a lot this past year. Sure, but we've faced worse before. And no matter what comes, we'll face it together. You taught us that.
- [25:40]
Tobias Underwood
All right, all right, I hear you. Let's go cut this cake and get on with it.
- [25:45]
Calvin Jennings
Oh, almost forgot. I was coming in here to tell you that some white boy on the porch says something about the bank.
- [25:51]
Steve Schell
Marigold Underwood tore past her nephew and daughter and blew into the parlor like a hurricane. A timid blond man in his mid-20s stood in the doorway holding a pair of white gloves, looking very uncomfortable to be the palest face in the room and the sudden focus of everyone's attention.
- [26:09]
Tobias Underwood
Mr. Rowe.
- [26:11]
Steve Schell
Hi, Ms. Underwood. You left your gloves on the counter at the bank yesterday. My daddy suggested I bring them up to you. Customer service and all that. We appreciate y'all for being loyal customers all these years. Daddy said even when folks were scared to keep their money in banks after the stock market crash, you kept your accounts open with us. Helped keep food on the table when times were bad.
- [26:31]
Tobias Underwood
Why, thank you, Mr. Rowe. That's very thoughtful. You give my best to your daddy. Why don't you stay and have a piece of that cake I promised you?
- [26:41]
Steve Schell
Well, I should. I should really get going.
- [26:44]
Tobias Underwood
Sit down, Kenny. You eating this cake?
- [26:47]
Steve Schell
And with that, Marigold Underwood cut and served her famous Apple Stack cake. It was sweet and spicy, golden and delicious. As always. The solstice had come, and the Underwood house met it with good food, good friends and good fortune. Today's story was written by Cam Collins and Steve Schell. Our intro and outro music is by Brother Landon Blood. The voice of Nina Jennings was Shasper A. Urban. The voice of tobias Underwood was D.J. rogers. And the voice of Marigold Underwood, Fire of the Mountain, was Stephanie Hickling Beckman. Happy holidays from all of us here at Deep Nerd Media. And we'll talk to you soon, family. Talk to you real soon.
- [27:50]
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- [28:22]
Marigold Underwood
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