Nero Wolfe: The Case of the Disappearing Diamonds

Summary

Old Time Radio Nero Wolfe: The Case of the Disappearing Diamonds – Detailed Summary

Podcast Information:

• Title: Old Time Radio Nero Wolfe
• Host/Author: Adam Graham
• Episode: Nero Wolfe: The Case of the Disappearing Diamonds
• Release Date: November 19, 2024

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Introduction

In "The Case of the Disappearing Diamonds," listeners are transported to the classic era of detective fiction through the engaging portrayal of Rex Stout's famed sleuth, Nero Wolfe, alongside his ever-resourceful assistant, Archie Goodwin. Hosted by Adam Graham, this episode is part of the Great Detectives of Old Time Radio series, which brings to life rare and cherished Nero Wolfe episodes, including the only surviving 1940s broadcasts and the esteemed Sidney Greenstreet-led adventures.

Plot Overview

The episode unfolds with Archie Goodwin handling a peculiar client, Willie Inch, a confessed "sneak thief" who insists he is wrongfully accused of murdering Mrs. Florence Avery March and stealing her valuable diamonds. Nero Wolfe, portrayed with Sidney Greenstreet's distinctive charm and humor, takes on the case despite his solitary nature and reluctance to leave his iconic New York City brownstone.

Key Moments:

• Initial Client Meeting ([00:35] - [07:14]): Willie Inch arrives, claiming innocence and presenting a "record"—a silver cigarette lighter—as supposed evidence of his thievery. Wolfe interrogates Inch, uncovering inconsistencies in his story, such as the presence of conspicuous items like a platinum lighter and a gold vanity case among his "junk" souvenirs.

  Nero Wolfe ([05:05], [07:26]): "Have you got the junk with you?"

  Willie Inch ([07:26]): "Yeah."

• Inspector Kramer's Arrival ([08:03] - [10:15]): Inspector Kramer, accompanied by his colleagues Perley and Ostracovich, arrives to arrest Inch. Kramer presents a theory implicating both Wolfe and Archie in a stolen property and murder conspiracy, which Wolfe deftly deflects.

  Inspector Kramer ([10:50], [11:08]): "Willie Inch, kill the dame and snatch the diamonds."

  Nero Wolfe ([11:08]): "Inspector Kramer, I know nothing about the diamonds."

• Introduction of Anson Stark ([12:09] - [13:16]): Anson Stark, the man who discovered Mrs. March's body, is interviewed. Wolfe probes inconsistencies in Stark's testimony, particularly regarding the state of the room and the functionality of the light, hinting at ulterior motives.

  Nero Wolfe ([13:02], [13:08]): "When you entered the bedroom, was the light on or off?"

• Valerie Ladd's Entrance ([13:52] - [17:12]): Valerie Ladd, an aspiring writer, seeks an exclusive interview with Wolfe, aiming to profile him for her magazine. Her interaction with Archie raises suspicions when she provides a seemingly random code related to typewriter keys—a critical clue that Wolfe later deciphers.

  Valerie Ladd ([16:44] - [20:21]): "Olympia 9, 3659."

  Archie Goodwin ([19:56] - [20:39]): "Because I use a typewriter. From left to right. It's the first bank of letters on any typewriter."

Climactic Revelation

As the plot thickens, Archie becomes entangled in deceit, losing his keys and money during interactions with Valerie. Wolfe orchestrates a gathering at his office, inviting all suspects to uncover the truth behind Mrs. March's murder and the missing diamonds.

• Wolfe's Masterstroke ([27:44] - [29:05]): Wolfe confronts Anson Stark with the revelation that the diamonds were ingeniously hidden inside a light bulb. Stark had brought electronic components to the party, which he utilized to conceal the diamonds, exploiting the overlooked simplicity of a light bulb's structure.

  Nero Wolfe ([28:38], [28:50]): "During the party, you strangled Mrs. March, put the diamonds into the light bulb, assembled the thing and screwed it into the lamp socket."

Conclusion

The episode culminates in Wolfe's brilliant deduction, exposing Stark's method of hiding the diamonds and clearing Inch's name. Wolfe's reliance on meticulous observation and logical reasoning triumphs over Kramer’s flawed assumptions, reinforcing Nero Wolfe's status as a paragon of detective prowess.

Host’s Insights

After the dramatized case, Adam Graham offers insightful commentary on the episode's cleverness and fidelity to Rex Stout's original works. He highlights Sidney Greenstreet's unique portrayal of Nero Wolfe, noting his distinctive laugh and charismatic presence that differ from the literary character's more reserved demeanor.

Graham also reflects on the episode's adherence to authentic detective storytelling, appreciating how the solution—hiding diamonds within a light bulb—combines ingenuity with practical sensibility. He underscores Greenstreet's influence on the archetype of the sophisticated yet dangerous detective, a legacy that continues to inspire modern storytelling.

Furthermore, Graham addresses fan feedback regarding character dynamics, acknowledging adjustments made to align the radio adaptations more closely with the spirit of the original books. This includes balancing Wolfe's reclusive nature with necessary plot developments that require his active involvement.

Adam Graham ([32:03]): "I also think it's quite interesting in terms of representing a bit of the authors of the radio plays, kind of shifting the show around so that it matches more with what's in the book."

Conclusion

"The Case of the Disappearing Diamonds" stands out as a meticulously crafted radio drama that honors the legacy of Nero Wolfe while introducing fresh elements that enhance the narrative. Adam Graham's adept hosting and Greenstreet's compelling performance create an immersive listening experience, making it accessible and enjoyable even for those unfamiliar with the original works.

Listeners are left eagerly anticipating the next adventure, as Wolfe and Archie continue to unravel mysteries with their signature blend of intellect and charm.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Nero Wolfe ([05:05], [07:26]): "Have you got the junk with you?"

• Inspector Kramer ([10:50], [11:08]): "Willie Inch, kill the dame and snatch the diamonds."

• Valerie Ladd ([16:44] - [20:21]): "Olympia 9, 3659."

• Nero Wolfe ([28:38], [28:50]): "During the party, you strangled Mrs. March, put the diamonds into the light bulb, assembled the thing and screwed it into the lamp socket."

• Adam Graham ([32:03]): "I also think it's quite interesting in terms of representing a bit of the authors of the radio plays, kind of shifting the show around so that it matches more with what's in the book."

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Final Thoughts

"The Case of the Disappearing Diamonds" exemplifies the timeless appeal of Nero Wolfe, blending classic detective elements with engaging performances. Whether you're a longtime fan or new to the series, this episode promises intrigue, wit, and the satisfying unraveling of a well-crafted mystery.

Transcript

[Geico Advertiser]

How do you feel when you switch to GEICO and save on your car insurance? It's like going to work on one Thursday morning and thinking to yourself, just one more day until Friday. But then somebody in the elevator says, happy Fri. Yay. Then you check your phone quickly and discover today is actually Friday. So yes, Happy Friday, random stranger in the elevator. Happy Friday indeed. Yep, switching and saving with Geico feels just like that. Get more with Geico coming up this.

[Adam Graham]

Week on the Old Time Radio Snack Wagon.

[Nero Wolf]

Well, boy.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes, Mr. Finley.

[Nero Wolf]

Where are you, boy?

[Archie Goodwin]

What about my house? Well, I'll tell you, Mr. Finley bears your word.

[Nero Wolf]

You said you'd be over with a down payment. What are you made of, boy? Rock, maple or pine?

[Archie Goodwin]

Well, something has come up, Mr. Finley.

[Nero Wolf]

I got 15 people after this house.

[Adam Graham]

Listen to the Old Time radio snack wagon, snackwagon.net or wherever you get your podcasts. SA welcome to the Great Detectives of Old Time Radio from Boise, Idaho. This is your host, Adam Graham. If you have a comment, feel free to email me box 13. Be sure to cast your vote for the show on podcast alley podcastally.greatdetives.net and follow us over on Twitter at radiodetectives. Well, before we do get started, I do want to remind you about Audible. You know, Audible brings you a great world of audio entertainment. It brings books to you when you don't have time to read. The Audible subscription includes one audiobook a month, plus a discount on any other audiobooks our listeners can try Audible out free for two weeks and you get a free audiobook for trying it. Go to audiblepodcast.com old time radio to begin your free trial. Let's get into today's episode of Nero Wolf the Case of the Disappearing Diamond.

[Geico Advertiser]

How do you feel when you switch to Geico and save on your car insurance? It's like going to work on one Thursday morning and thinking to yourself, just one more day until Friday. But then somebody in the elevator says, happy Fri. Yay. Then you check your phone quickly and discover today is actually Friday. So yes, Happy Friday, random stranger in the elevator. Happy Friday indeed. Yep, switching and saving with Geico feels just like that. Get more with Geico.

[Narrator]

Ladies and gentlemen, the ringing of that phone bell brings you mystery adventure.

[Archie Goodwin]

Nero Wolf's office, Archie Goodwin speaking. Willie Inch, did you say? Just a second. Do you want to talk to a fellow named Willie Inch? Which I doubt. No, he says he's got to see you. Got to?

[Nero Wolf]

Who is he?

[Archie Goodwin]

I'll ask. Mr. Wolf doesn't recognize your name. Mr. Inch, he wants to know who you are. Just a second, I'll tell him. Mr.

[Willie Inch]

Inch says he's a sneak thief.

[Archie Goodwin]

He says you never heard of him, but he's heard of you. Should I tell him to get lost?

[Nero Wolf]

Wait a minute, Archie. Ask him what he wants.

[Archie Goodwin]

Inch, Mr. Wolf wants to know what you want to see him about. A phony murder rap. This is a phony murder rap?

[Nero Wolf]

It'd have to be, wouldn't it, Archie?

[Archie Goodwin]

How do you mean, phony?

[Nero Wolf]

I mean, did you ever hear of a sneak thief committing murder if it could possibly be avoided? Yes. Al, you tell Mr. Inch I listen to his story.

[Narrator]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's that renowned genius who is the bulkiest, balkiest, most ponderous and most brilliant detective in the world. Yes, none other than that chairborne mass of unpredictable intellect, Nero Wolf, created by Rex Stout and brought to you in a new series of adventures over this NBC network in the person of Mr. Sidney Greenstreet.

[Archie Goodwin]

When Mr. Wolf and I talk about this little difficulty, he calls it the Case of Archie Goodwin and how he got hooked. However, I call it the Case of the Disappearing Diamonds. I prefer my title. He prefers his. Anyhow, it started with an improbable character named Willie Inch.

[Nero Wolf]

That'll be our sneak thief, Archie. Let him in.

[Archie Goodwin]

Okay, boss.

[Nero Wolf]

Okay.

[Archie Goodwin]

Inch?

[Willie Inch]

Yeah?

[Archie Goodwin]

Come in. In there. I'll follow you. Mr. Wolf. This is your client, Mr.

[Nero Wolf]

Inch?

[Willie Inch]

Yeah.

[Nero Wolf]

Hmm. Tall fellow. Must be over 6ft 6. Sit down where, Archie?

[Archie Goodwin]

Here, Mr. Inch. This ought to be comfortable.

[Nero Wolf]

Well, Ms. Inge.

[Willie Inch]

Look, Mr. Wolf, they're going to claim that I killed a woman I never even touched. And I'm going to fry for something I never even done.

[Nero Wolf]

All right, Mr. Inge, how did you cure.

[Willie Inch]

I didn't. I didn't. I never killed nobody in my life.

[Nero Wolf]

Mr. Inge, you say you're a thief. Can you prove it?

[Willie Inch]

I got a record.

[Nero Wolf]

Why, I was wondering about that bulginia pocket.

[Archie Goodwin]

Oh.

[Willie Inch]

Oh, here. It's a. It's a silver cigarette lighter, ain't it? I guess it sort of dropped into my pocket as I was going by, you see. You see the way it happened?

[Nero Wolf]

Never mind, Miss Dinge. Now, tell me how you didn't kill the woman for whose murder you will fry.

[Willie Inch]

Well, Mr. Wolf, sir, it was like this. There was a window half open, you see, and I happened to crawl inside the house. But, hey, now, well, is that this. This is just between us, ain't it?

[Nero Wolf]

Possibly.

[Inspector Kramer]

How do you mean?

[Nero Wolf]

Explain, Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Mr. Wolf said possibly.

[Willie Inch]

Oh, well, okay. So I happen to Find myself in the bedroom, see. So I happen to sort of roam around and I hear there's like a party going on, you know, people and music. So I lock the door.

[Archie Goodwin]

So?

[Nero Wolf]

Go on, let him tell it his own way, Archie. Well, Ms. Inch.

[Willie Inch]

So that's the mistake I make.

[Nero Wolf]

Mistake?

[Willie Inch]

Maybe I leave my fingerprints on the door.

[Nero Wolf]

Sure.

[Willie Inch]

So later a dame gets herself knocked off in the same room and they look for fingerprints and they find mine. I'm it. That's all I got a record.

[Archie Goodwin]

So?

[Willie Inch]

So the chair.

[Nero Wolf]

I see. Pitiful case, isn't it, Arjie?

[Archie Goodwin]

Very, very mournful, Inch.

[Willie Inch]

Yes, sir.

[Nero Wolf]

I presume you came away with some souvenirs.

[Willie Inch]

Oh, nothing. It wasn't worth the trouble. You know, just odds and ends. Junk.

[Nero Wolf]

Have you got the junk with you?

[Willie Inch]

Yeah.

[Nero Wolf]

Let me see here. Cigarette case, platinum lighter, gold vanity case. Gold, that's all.

[Archie Goodwin]

Positively junk, the man says.

[Nero Wolf]

I promise nothing, Mr. Inge, but it might be better if you told the truth.

[Willie Inch]

Me?

[Nero Wolf]

You? Oh, well. One square cut emerald ring.

[Willie Inch]

I just happened to find it. There's something more.

[Nero Wolf]

A pewter ashtray.

[Willie Inch]

Look, the room is dark. I can't see. Piles of coats on the beds and hats and handbags. I take what I find.

[Nero Wolf]

Why didn't you turn on the lights?

[Willie Inch]

One of these big standing lamps, you know what I mean?

[Nero Wolf]

Go on.

[Willie Inch]

I bump into it and it scares the living. I mean, it scares me, Joe. I turned the switch.

[Nero Wolf]

It don't work, Arjun.

[Archie Goodwin]

That sounds like the law, boss.

[Nero Wolf]

The law. Stay right where you are, Willie. May I suggest there is a way to find out, Arjie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Okay, okay. We don't want any.

[Inspector Kramer]

Good morning, Goodwin. You remember me? Your old friend, Inspector Kramer. Two gentlemen with me are also with the department. Perley and Ostracovich. May we come in?

[Archie Goodwin]

What do you want?

[Inspector Kramer]

We want a murderer. And we want some rocks worth 250 grand. Does that answer your question?

[Archie Goodwin]

What makes you think you'll find all those goodies here?

[Inspector Kramer]

Come in, men. We know Willie Inch is here. Where is he?

[Archie Goodwin]

Just a second.

[Inspector Kramer]

We're coming with you, Goodwin.

[Archie Goodwin]

Okay, Inspector, come along. The law.

[Inspector Kramer]

That's Willie Inch Friskin. No weapons. Okay. Just put the cuffs on him.

[Nero Wolf]

Inspector Kramer.

[Inspector Kramer]

Oh, yes. Hello, Wolf.

[Nero Wolf]

I want to tell you something about this man whom you and your man have so bravely captured in my office.

[Inspector Kramer]

You don't need to tell me about him, Wolf. We know about him.

[Nero Wolf]

Indeed?

[Inspector Kramer]

Yes, we know he killed Mrs. Florence Avery March and stripped a quarter of a million worth of diamonds off him. That's all we need to know.

[Willie Inch]

I didn't do no such a thing.

[Inspector Kramer]

Where's the ice, Willie?

[Willie Inch]

I never even seen none, honest.

[Inspector Kramer]

Take him away, boys. I'll make the charge when I get back to my office.

[Willie Inch]

Wait, Mr. Wolf, sir.

[Inspector Kramer]

Take him.

[Willie Inch]

Look, I ain't done nothing, I tell you.

[Nero Wolf]

Spriggan creamer? Yeah.

[Inspector Kramer]

We're going to have a little talk now, aren't we?

[Nero Wolf]

If necessary.

[Inspector Kramer]

How do you mean?

[Nero Wolf]

Explain, Arjun.

[Archie Goodwin]

Mr. Wolf means you're going to have a little talk. If necessary.

[Inspector Kramer]

Very funny. I will now draw up a chair and show you why it's necessary in the first place. $250,000 worth of diamonds makes it necessary.

[Nero Wolf]

Archie, if you please. A bottle of beer.

[Archie Goodwin]

Okay. Will the inspector name his poison?

[Inspector Kramer]

You know I never drink on duty.

[Nero Wolf]

Then just for me, Archie, please.

[Archie Goodwin]

On my way. While I opened a bottle of imported beer, it occurred to me that I had something to be grateful for. At least I wasn't in Willie inches enormous shoes. And as I went back to the office, I had time to wonder why Mr. Wolf would stick his fat neck out for a no good like Willie.

[Nero Wolf]

Thank you, Archie, and sit down. Archie, Inspector Kramer has a theory that may amuse you.

[Archie Goodwin]

Narrow Wolf's office. It's for you, Inspector.

[Inspector Kramer]

Hello, Kramer. Yeah. A gold cigarette holder, that's all. Okay.

[Nero Wolf]

Inspector. Do you realize that you have already taken a great deal of my time?

[Inspector Kramer]

Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes, inspector.

[Inspector Kramer]

The great Mr. Wolf just said I had a theory that might amuse you. Would you care to hear it?

[Archie Goodwin]

I can hardly wait.

[Inspector Kramer]

Okay. My theory is that both Wolf and you are receivers of stolen property and possibly guilty of murder conspiracy.

[Archie Goodwin]

So far you got me in stitches.

[Inspector Kramer]

Willie Inch, with a record as long as your arm robs the home of Mrs. Florence Avery Marsh. He strangles her with a silk scarf, takes the diamond she's wearing, grabs everything else that's lying around and then what is it?

[Archie Goodwin]

A question.

[Inspector Kramer]

I'll tell you what he will too.

[Nero Wolf]

Archie, listen. Listen.

[Inspector Kramer]

Dan Inch brings the stuff here. The stuff that's piled on Wolf's desk and the diamonds. You want me to tell you where the diamonds are? They're in that safe right there.

[Nero Wolf]

Inspector Kramer, I know nothing about the diamonds. They are not in the safe and they are not in the house. Now you can take my word for it or you can get a search warrant and make a fool of yourself. I'm going to have lunch.

[Archie Goodwin]

By 2 o'clock the newspapers were full of the murder of Mrs. Florence Avery March. The suspect was already in custody, caught at the home of Nero Wolf, well known private investigator. Some of the stolen jewelry had been recovered, but not the diamonds. Then we had a visit from Mr. Anson Stark, who had opened Mrs. March's door and found her dead. Stark was a big, athletic guy of about 30 or so, with the large, capable hands of a surgeon or a laboratory worker. He seemed annoyed at the inconvenience we caused him, but that was only natural.

[Anson Stark]

That's the story, Mr. Wolf. I don't see how I can add anything more to it.

[Nero Wolf]

You had known Mrs. March for several years. Casually, when you broke the door open. Was it difficult?

[Anson Stark]

Not very.

[Nero Wolf]

You were the first into the room.

[Anson Stark]

There were three or four of us. We pushed in together.

[Nero Wolf]

You saw the body of Mrs. March immediately.

[Anson Stark]

She was lying across the bed that was heaped with coats and hats and handbags.

[Nero Wolf]

You knew she was dead?

[Anson Stark]

Of course not. In fact, somebody else discovered that she had been choked to death.

[Nero Wolf]

And who discovered that the diamonds were gone?

[Anson Stark]

I don't know. I didn't.

[Nero Wolf]

Were there many diamonds, Mr. Stark?

[Anson Stark]

No, just a few. But big ones. She wore them on a pendant around her neck.

[Nero Wolf]

Mr. Stark, I want to thank you again for having been so patient.

[Anson Stark]

I have been patient, Mr. Wolf. I have my own business to attend to.

[Nero Wolf]

Which is?

[Anson Stark]

Oh, I have a small but hopeful enterprise. Electronics. Tubes for radio and television. Mostly experimental.

[Nero Wolf]

Well, that reminds me, Mr. Stark, when you entered the bedroom, was the light on or off?

[Anson Stark]

Let me see. Of course it was on. It must have been on. Why?

[Nero Wolf]

Just curiosity, Mr. Stark.

[Anson Stark]

Oh. Anything more?

[Nero Wolf]

That's all, except thank you for coming. Here. Archie, will you take Mr. Stark to the door?

[Archie Goodwin]

Mr. Stark departed like a man who'd been delayed by a petty annoyance. A few minutes later, the door buzzing and I went. Expecting anything? Anything but what was standing on the threshold when I opened up? A honey blonde. Or to put another way, a blonde honey. I said hello. No, more like hello.

[Valerie Ladd]

Are you Mr. Wolf?

[Archie Goodwin]

I'm his assistant, Archie Goodwin. And what can we do for you?

[Valerie Ladd]

I'm Valerie Ladd.

[Archie Goodwin]

And I'm Archie Goodwin. Or did I tell you that that's.

[Valerie Ladd]

Exactly where I came in? Well, I mean, where I thought you were going to ask me to come in.

[Archie Goodwin]

Oh, come in, come in. I'm sorry.

[Valerie Ladd]

How is he? Is he here?

[Archie Goodwin]

Whoa. Does he know you?

[Valerie Ladd]

No.

[Archie Goodwin]

Is he expecting you?

[Valerie Ladd]

No.

[Archie Goodwin]

I see.

[Valerie Ladd]

Of course you don't see, do you? Well, this is it, Mr. Goodwin. I'm a writer. Well, I may not look like it, but that's what I am. And I want to do a profile. A character study of Mr. Wolfram magazine.

[Nero Wolf]

Uh.

[Archie Goodwin]

Oh.

[Valerie Ladd]

Well, what's wrong?

[Archie Goodwin]

Well, you see, there's a writer named Rex Stout.

[Valerie Ladd]

Oh, I know he's written a lot about Nero Wolf, but. Well, can't I write about him, too?

[Archie Goodwin]

I don't know if he's going to like it, but you can't be shot for trying. Come on. Mr. Wolf, this is Valerie Ladd.

[Nero Wolf]

Pardon me for not rising, Miss Ladd. It is not impolite. It is merely impracticable.

[Archie Goodwin]

Miss Ladd wants to write about you for magazines.

[Valerie Ladd]

Please, Mr. Wolf. Nonsense, Mr. Wolf. If I could just spend a few hours with you, that would be enough.

[Nero Wolf]

Would it indeed?

[Valerie Ladd]

Oh, yes.

[Nero Wolf]

Have you written much, Miss Ladd? Oh, Reames, you know, the habits of writers interest me.

[Valerie Ladd]

The habits?

[Nero Wolf]

Yeah, the writing habits. For instance, do you use a pen or a pencil? You dictate? Or like most writers, do you do your own typing?

[Valerie Ladd]

Mr. Wolf, if you knew the hours and days and years that I've pounded a typewriter.

[Nero Wolf]

Of course. Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes, sir?

[Nero Wolf]

Why don't you take Ms. Ladd up and show her the orchids?

[Archie Goodwin]

You never know about Nero Wolf. At least I never do. This was something I would have bet against a thousand to one. I couldn't understand it, but I certainly couldn't complain.

[Valerie Ladd]

Archie, look at this one. Oh, did you ever see anything so gorgeous?

[Archie Goodwin]

Very pretty.

[Valerie Ladd]

They're all just beyond belief. Yes, but you're not even looking at them. Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

What?

[Valerie Ladd]

Oh, Archie, are you always like this?

[Archie Goodwin]

What do you mean, like this?

[Valerie Ladd]

Well, so. So distant and preoccupied.

[Archie Goodwin]

Honey, you got me wrong completely. I was thinking.

[Nero Wolf]

Oh, yeah?

[Archie Goodwin]

About telephone number.

[Valerie Ladd]

A lovely thing to think about. What can you think about telephone numbers?

[Archie Goodwin]

I was thinking how some girls have them and some don't.

[Valerie Ladd]

Oh, I see. Archie, I apologize.

[Archie Goodwin]

For what?

[Valerie Ladd]

I did have you wrong. You're not a bit distant.

[Archie Goodwin]

I can be a lot closer than this. Honey, what is.

[Valerie Ladd]

What's what?

[Nero Wolf]

The number.

[Valerie Ladd]

Oh. Well, it's. It's in the book.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yeah, no wonder.

[Valerie Ladd]

Sound as if you don't believe me.

[Archie Goodwin]

Oh, I believe you. But there's a telephone book here. Let's lick it up together, shall we?

[Valerie Ladd]

Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yeah?

[Valerie Ladd]

I. I'm afraid I lied to you.

[Archie Goodwin]

I was afraid of that, too.

[Valerie Ladd]

Are you angry?

[Archie Goodwin]

Well, I can take no for an answer, honey, even when it's hard to take.

[Valerie Ladd]

Archie, I've changed my mind. I want you to have my number, and I want you to use it, too.

[Archie Goodwin]

You know, honey, I'm beginning to take an interest in this dialogue. Let's have it.

[Valerie Ladd]

Okay. Olympia 9, 3659.

[Archie Goodwin]

And a very, very pretty number it is. Valerie Ladd, two Ds. Olympia 9, 3659. Honey, blonde, gorgeous. Spelled gorgeous there. What are we doing tonight? Olympia 9.

[Valerie Ladd]

And I said that you were distant and preoccupied.

[Archie Goodwin]

We were talking about tonight.

[Valerie Ladd]

All right, Archie? Yes, I'd love it. Oh, these orchids. They're really beyond belief and you won't even look at them.

[Archie Goodwin]

True. I'm too busy looking at you.

[Valerie Ladd]

Well, how do I look, Archie?

[Archie Goodwin]

Beyond belief, honey. Beyond belief. Well, there goes the good one. Luck again. It's a house phone part. Yes, sir. Okay. He wants us to come down, Archie. Yes, dear.

[Valerie Ladd]

Even if he says no, we still have a tape.

[Archie Goodwin]

Honey, though the heavens fall. When we entered the office, Mr. Wolf was frowning over a sheet of letter paper in his hand. He looked up and tossed the paper to me.

[Nero Wolf]

That is a peculiar thing, Archie. The sheet of letter paper just arrived. Since Ms. Ladd is interested in detection, show it to her.

[Valerie Ladd]

Thank you. But some sort of code, isn't it? Q, W, E, R, T, Y, U, I, O, P. That's all. What do you suppose it means?

[Inspector Kramer]

You're kidding, Archie.

[Valerie Ladd]

Oh, what, Did I say something wrong?

[Archie Goodwin]

No, no, no, no, Ms. Laird, I'm.

[Nero Wolf]

Sorry, but I'm afraid I haven't time for an interview just now. Goodbye, Ms. Laird.

[Valerie Ladd]

Oh, but, Mr. Wolf.

[Nero Wolf]

Goodbye, Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Say goodbye to Mr. Wolf and let's go hunt.

[Valerie Ladd]

Goodbye.

[Archie Goodwin]

That's the way things can be around here. Well, here's the door. And shall we. Shall we pause for station identification?

[Valerie Ladd]

I'll wipe it off, Archie.

[Nero Wolf]

There.

[Archie Goodwin]

Thanks.

[Valerie Ladd]

What happened, archie?

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes, indeed.

[Valerie Ladd]

Mr. Wolf, I mean. Oh, why did he suddenly want me to go?

[Archie Goodwin]

Well, I'll tell you, though, I don't know whether I should. That code message he showed you.

[Inspector Kramer]

Yes?

[Archie Goodwin]

Quirky up.

[Valerie Ladd]

You remember.

[Archie Goodwin]

Sure. Because I use a typewriter. From left to right. It's the first bank of letters on any typewriter.

[Valerie Ladd]

I see.

[Archie Goodwin]

It was a test and you flunked it. Baby, you're no writer.

[Valerie Ladd]

Archie, I can explain.

[Archie Goodwin]

Sure, sure, sure. Tonight.

[Valerie Ladd]

Tonight, Archie. You do believe me, don't you, Archie?

[Archie Goodwin]

Oh, of course, baby, of course.

[Valerie Ladd]

Well, it's just that I was there at the party. I mean, when. When poor Florence was murdered. Then I read in the paper about, well, how they caught the man at near a wolf. And I always wanted to be a writer, so I thought if I could get an exclusive interview and, well, that would be a good way to start my career, wouldn't it?

[Archie Goodwin]

Yes, yes, it would. Pardon Me a second, will you, Valerie? I got to make a phone call. There's a booth. It'll only take a minute or two.

[Nero Wolf]

The inner wolf speaking.

[Archie Goodwin]

Archie, I'm at the Riviera with Valerie Ladd.

[Nero Wolf]

I'm happy for you, Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

I will remind you that I have not seen you since Valerie left the house.

[Nero Wolf]

I was otherwise occupied, Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

With orchids.

[Nero Wolf]

With orchids. What do you want, Archie?

[Archie Goodwin]

Look, with that typewriter gag, you practically told me she was a phony, didn't you?

[Nero Wolf]

Of course, of course.

[Archie Goodwin]

Just for the record, how did you know?

[Nero Wolf]

Have you looked at her fingernails? She never touched a typewriter in her life. I wanted to be sure.

[Archie Goodwin]

Okay, now. Now do you want me to tell you something?

[Nero Wolf]

You mean that your charming companion, Valerie was at the party when Mrs. March was murdered?

[Archie Goodwin]

How did you know that?

[Nero Wolf]

Simple. Argent. I got a list of the guests from Inspector Creamer. Among them was the name of Valerie Ladway. Simple.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yeah, sure. Okay. What am I supposed to do about it?

[Nero Wolf]

Just hang on, Archie. Just hang on.

[Archie Goodwin]

I went back to the honey blonde, the beautiful phony Valerie Ladd. Ladway, I mean. I went back to the table where she should have been, but she wasn't there. I sat down and waited. Looked at my watch. 11:24. 11:32. No, Ms. Ladway. 11:45. I finally realized that not only Valerie, but her coat and bag were also absent. I called the waiter. Yes, sir? What happened to my friend? The young lady left some time ago, sir. Okay, give me the bill. She paid it, sir. She did? Yes, sir. In fact, she said you gave her the money for it. Yeah. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Well, I didn't know it, but she is certainly right.

[Nero Wolf]

Oh, my. Well, Archie, this is most thoughtless of you.

[Archie Goodwin]

Sorry, I. I lost my keys. My money, too.

[Nero Wolf]

Your keys, Archie?

[Archie Goodwin]

Yeah. Glad you were still up.

[Nero Wolf]

You lost Ms. Ladway, too?

[Archie Goodwin]

Definitely. I'm going to bed.

[Nero Wolf]

Good night, Arjun.

[Archie Goodwin]

You think it's funny, don't you?

[Nero Wolf]

Yes, Archie, yes. Yes, I do.

[Archie Goodwin]

Good night, Mr. Wolf.

[Nero Wolf]

Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yeah?

[Nero Wolf]

Before you retire, one thing.

[Archie Goodwin]

What?

[Nero Wolf]

Open the safe, will you? And leave it open.

[Archie Goodwin]

Why?

[Nero Wolf]

Because there's nothing in it of importance. And it's a valuable save and I don't want it damaged. Good night, archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

At about 2:00 in the morning, I thought I heard a noise. I got up, put on the rest of my pajamas, picked up my gun and went down to the office. The man had his head in the safe and everything was scattered all over. I stepped inside the door. Put your hands behind your back. And stand up.

[Valerie Ladd]

Huh?

[Archie Goodwin]

Okay, now, just what are you after? When I woke up, I was alone on the office floor. I did not feel good. The place looked as if a hurricane had struck it. Every file drawer had been empty. Felt a draft from somewhere. Got to my feet, trying not to joggle my head too much. There's the front door standing open. I closed it gently. Then very, very gently I groped my way to the kitchen for ice water and towels. What? Oh, didn't you hear me scream?

[Nero Wolf]

No. Is it bad?

[Archie Goodwin]

It's better.

[Nero Wolf]

You're angry, aren't you?

[Archie Goodwin]

Nuts.

[Nero Wolf]

What are you?

[Archie Goodwin]

I said nuts, Mr. Wolf. Nuts.

[Nero Wolf]

I'm sorry about what happened.

[Archie Goodwin]

Yeah, you expected it.

[Nero Wolf]

But I didn't expect you to be caught by somebody behind you. You must have known there would have been two of them.

[Archie Goodwin]

Now, how would I know that? How?

[Nero Wolf]

Think of Mr. Ladwy's delicate hands. Do you believe she intended to open the safe herself?

[Archie Goodwin]

You think she stole my keys and so on? Well, let me tell you. Hey, wait. That guy was digging in the safe.

[Valerie Ladd]

That.

[Archie Goodwin]

Then who hit me in the head?

[Nero Wolf]

Oh, gee, someday you'll be the death of me. In the morning, will you tell Inspector Kramer I'd like to see him here.

[Archie Goodwin]

Fuming and protesting. Kramer arrived about 1:30. When I let him into the office, Mr. Wolf was gazing thoughtfully at the ground floor plan of the house of the late Mrs. Florence Avery March. We've gotten it from the original architects. Wolf looked up and almost smiled.

[Nero Wolf]

Thank you for coming to me, inspector. You know how difficult it is for me to come to you.

[Inspector Kramer]

Okay, okay. What's up?

[Nero Wolf]

I take it you haven't found the diamonds.

[Inspector Kramer]

No, not yet. We'll break inch down, though. Don't think we won't.

[Nero Wolf]

Oh, I'm sure. But this is what I want to ask you and it's quite serious.

[Inspector Kramer]

Okay? Okay. All right.

[Anson Stark]

What?

[Nero Wolf]

After the body was found, your men arrived at the house before anyone left.

[Inspector Kramer]

Right.

[Nero Wolf]

And before anybody was allowed to go. Every person searched thoroughly.

[Inspector Kramer]

Nobody could have gotten a pin or a needle out of that place.

[Nero Wolf]

I know something about police methods and I believe you. Now, how thoroughly did you search the house itself?

[Inspector Kramer]

Wolf, look, we've got that floor plan you're studying now. There are no hidden closets. Every square inch of that house has been examined. The diamonds aren't there. Willie Inch, kill the dame and snatch the diamonds. What he did with them, we'll find out.

[Nero Wolf]

Possibly. Possibly. Goodbye, inspector.

[Archie Goodwin]

At approximately 3:15, the postman arrived with an envelope for the envelope contained my keys, the bill from The Riviera. And the money left after the check was paid. At approximately 5:07pm I discovered that Wolf had been using the telephone all by himself. He explained he was going to have a party. He had invited all of the guests who were at Mrs. Florence Avery March's somewhat fatal party, including Anson Stark, Willie Inch and Valerie Near O Wolf, the natural born ham. He made an entrance that would have been worthy of Queen Victoria in her heavier days. He sat in his oversized throne behind his oversized desk and beamed at the peasants. Valerie moved toward me.

[Valerie Ladd]

I'm. I'm sorry, Archie, but you must know why I did it.

[Archie Goodwin]

Why?

[Valerie Ladd]

But you said I wasn't a writer. I wanted to prove that you weren't a detective.

[Archie Goodwin]

Did you take the stuff while we were dancing?

[Valerie Ladd]

I could have, couldn't I?

[Archie Goodwin]

You could have bumped me on the head last night too, couldn't you? Oh, Archie, let it go. It was humiliating, though.

[Nero Wolf]

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure you realize the purpose of this party. We want to know who killed Mrs. March and what became of her diamond. Mr. Inch?

[Willie Inch]

Yeah?

[Nero Wolf]

When you visited the room where the body was found, the room was dark.

[Willie Inch]

The bulb was burned out. I tried to turn it on.

[Nero Wolf]

If there had been a body on the bed, would you have seen it?

[Willie Inch]

Maybe. With all those coats, maybe.

[Nero Wolf]

Not sure. Mr. Stark?

[Anson Stark]

Yes? I said the light was on. Perhaps I was wrong.

[Archie Goodwin]

What of it?

[Nero Wolf]

You are engaged in the manufacture of tubes for radio and television.

[Anson Stark]

I told you that.

[Nero Wolf]

Inspector Kramer?

[Inspector Kramer]

Yeah. Why?

[Nero Wolf]

A light bulb was found in the wastebasket in the room where Mrs. March died.

[Inspector Kramer]

Yeah. Like you said, we tried the bulb in the socket and it worked. So what?

[Nero Wolf]

One more question. Does anybody remember whether Mr. Stark was carrying a bundle or a package under his arm when he arrived at Mrs. March's party?

[Valerie Ladd]

Oh, I do, Mr. Wolf. I think he had a box of flowers.

[Anson Stark]

That's true. I did bring flowers.

[Nero Wolf]

No, Mr. Stark. That box contained two parts of a light bulb and some adhesive. During the party, you strangled Mrs. March, put the diamonds into the light bulb, assembled the thing and screwed it into the lamp socket. Archie, stop him. Really, Archie, it was quite simple. Light bulbs are only a stem, glass bowl and a brass sheet. Yet nobody, including the police, would think of looking inside one. Mr. Stark could come back and collect his treasure anytime after the excitement had died down. What's the matter, Archie?

[Archie Goodwin]

I got a headache.

[Nero Wolf]

Valerie Ladd led me. Poor girl. She and whoever the man was with her must have thought the diamonds were here. That bump on your head will be better in the Morning. Bottle of beer, please, Archie.

[Archie Goodwin]

I'm going to bed.

[Nero Wolf]

Yes. Why must you place such confidence in women? Remember what happened to Mark Antony and Samson and Archie Goodman. Good night, Archie.

[Narrator]

You have been listening to the new adventures of Nero Wolf, starring Sidney Greenstreet. Tonight's transcribed story by Mindret Lord was based on the characters created by Rex Stiles, produced and directed by J. Donald Wilson. This is an Edwin Fadiman production. In the cast were Harry Bartel as Archie Goodwin and Gigi Pearson, Bud Heaston, Gray Stafford, Dick Ryan and Bill Johnstone. Next week at this same time, Nero Wolf and Archie will bring you the case of the Midnight Ride. Don Stanley speaking. Three chimes mean good times on NBC.

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[Adam Graham]

Welcome back. This was a pretty clever mystery. I also think it's quite interesting in terms of representing a bit of the authors of the radio plays, kind of shifting the show around so that it matches more with what's in the book. Earlier episodes of Nero Wolf had Wolf and Kramer on kind of almost chummy terms, and with Wolf frequently making exceptions to his no leaving the house on business rule. Doubtless the writers and NBC heard from the public about some of the things that didn't seem to ring true to the book. So there have been some adjustments. Of course, Sydney Green street puts his own stamp on Wolf with the laugh that's always going to be part of it. Wolf never quite laughed as much in the books as Green Street, Green street does, but part of the reason people enjoy Green street is this very distinctive laugh. I also love the solution to this case. This was very clever and commonsensical at the same time. Regarding Mr. Greenstreet, Tony says, I always liked Sidney Greenstreet. He always played a class act as a villain or detective, and usually it was the villain. There's one film I'm aware of where he played a detective, but it really wasn't a mystery and his detective wasn't the main character. But Greenstreet played a lot of characters very similar to the Batman he played in the Maltese Falcon and really left a big impression on the silver screen, particularly when you consider how old he was when he started in films at age 62 and continued to act on screen for about eight years before he took on Nero Wolf. He really defined the archetype of how you create a villain who is sophisticated, cultured and yet still a very dangerous customer has been imitated countless times. He truly provided the template for a lot of authors imaginations to feed on. Also, I have to say I love that reference about Rex Stout thrown into the middle. That was just. That was very cute. Finally, we got one more comment from a listener from Podcast Alley. Thanks for this podcast. Well, thank you for your comment and I encourage everybody cast your vote this month and let us know what your favorite show is as well when you vote and we'll give you the totals at the end of the month. Remember, podcastally.greatdetectives.net well, that'll do us for now. We'll be back tomorrow with Let George do it. In the meanwhile, send your comments to box13reatdetectives.net follow us over on Twitter at radiodetectives and you can always give us a call. 208-9914 4783 but from Boise, Idaho, this is your host, Adam Graham, signing off.

[Geico Advertiser]

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