Old Time Radio Westerns: “Bartender and Project Investment”
Dr. Sixgun (09-09-54)
Podcast Host: Andrew Rhynes
Episode Release: September 19, 2025
Episode Overview
This episode of Dr. Sixgun, as presented by the Old Time Radio Westerns podcast, centers on a comic tale of rain, commerce, and confidence schemes in the frontier town of Frenchman’s Ford. The narrative follows O'Shea the bartender as he encounters Jared P. Kale, an oily "financial wizard" from the East whose big city charm nearly outsmarts—then spectacularly backfires on—several townsfolk (and himself). Through a blend of sharp banter, western hardship, and farce, the episode explores gullibility, frontier resourcefulness, and the pitfalls of wild investments in the 1870s West.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Setting the Frontier Scene: Floods & Hardship
- The territory is beset by relentless rain, floods, and isolation. Dr. Sixgun and Pablo the Gypsy Peddler set the tone with banter about the hardships:
- Dr. Sixgun: "Need webbed feet to get across from the livery stable." (04:59)
- Pablo: "Last summer the ranchers lost half their stock in drought and now they may lose the other half by floating." (05:44)
- These details ground the episode in classic Western adversity and camaraderie.
2. Enter Jared P. Kale: The “Wall Street Wizard”
- A flashy, smooth-talking Easterner, Kale arrives during the chaos, having survived a nearly disastrous stagecoach trip.
- He introduces himself grandly:
- Kale: "Permit me to introduce myself, gentlemen. I am Jared P. Kale, late of Wall Street." (09:25)
- He regales the bar patrons with exaggerated stories of his adventures among railroad tycoons, gold magnates, and real estate moguls.
- Kale: "Where is the manifest golden treasure to be found?" (10:37)
3. Planting a Scheme: Small-Town Big Dreams
- Pablo narrates Kale’s increasing influence: He shares tales of meeting historical greats, hints at future opportunities, and flatters O’Shea into thinking Frenchman’s Ford could be the “next metropolis.”
- O'Shea is soon convinced to form a new venture:
- O'Shea: "You are talking to the president of the Frenchman's Ford Land and Natural Resources Development Company. Cale's the treasurer." (19:55–20:07)
- Dr. Sixgun is skeptical, warning O’Shea:
- Dr. Sixgun: "There isn't a doubt in my mind that your Mr. Jared Kale is crooked as a dog's hind leg." (21:04)
4. Proving “Good Faith”: The Escrow Ruse
- When confronted, Kale provides $5,000 in seemingly genuine banknotes as “escrow,” temporarily quelling suspicions:
- Kale: "Here are $5,000 in banknotes issued by the Drovers national. More than twice Mr. O'Shea's investment. I want you to hold this money in escrow, as it were, to prove my good faith." (21:47–22:11)
- The money is checked and appears legitimate, and O'Shea resumes his excitement over the great “investment.”
5. Whiskey Shortage & Further Troubles
- Flooding cuts off the town, and O'Shea’s whiskey supply is depleted. The express agent, Eve Tucker, holds the additional barrels, only releasing them at an exorbitant markup:
- O'Shea: "He offered me a price on it. Doc, do you know what that no good crowbait horse thief wants me to pay for my own whiskey? $100 a barrel. Why, I ain't never paid more than $12..." (24:40)
- Kale is soon found to be the intermediary who bought the whiskey with O'Shea’s own initial investment and sold it back to him at a vast profit.
6. The Final Twist: Out-sharped and Out of Town!
- O'Shea discovers the ruse as Doc lays out the scam. Kale has vanished, taking O’Shea’s horse and all available cash.
- O'Shea: "That no good, pusillanimous cutthroat. He bought my whiskey with my own money and sold it back to me at $100 a barrel." (27:17)
- However, O’Shea retains the $5,000 in Drover’s banknotes and boasts a profit—until the final double-cross is revealed:
- Dr. Sixgun: "The Drover's bank in Chisholm City went bust... There ain't a nickel left in it." (29:56–30:02)
- O'Shea: "He knew, Doc. He knew. He knew all the time." (30:16)
- The genuine notes are now worthless paper. O’Shea faints, and the bar erupts in rueful laughter.
Memorable Dialogue & Notable Moments
- Pablo’s Narration on Twists of Fortune: "He was a cheerful little man... All the rest of the evening, he sat at the table at the bull run and told us tales of that fabulous land far across old baldy creek, which was his natural habitat." (11:23)
- Banter over “Prospecti” vs. Prospecting:
- Kale: "I know nothing of prospecting, but prospecti. Ah, that is a different story." (10:50)
- Dr. Sixgun: "Do I understand that you're referring to the Latin plural of prospectus?" (10:58)
- O’Shea’s Humble Investment Ambitions: "How'd you like to be in on the inside of the biggest financial syndicate since John Jacob Astor?" (19:34)
- The Endgame and Irony:
- Dr. Sixgun: "The Drover's bank in Chisholm City went bust." (30:02)
- O'Shea (before fainting): "He knew, Doc. He knew. He knew all the time." (30:16)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [03:23] Introduction of Pablo and scene-setting in the saloon
- [04:59] Arrival of Dr. Sixgun, talk of hardships and floods
- [09:25] Jared P. Kale’s flamboyant entrance
- [19:28] O’Shea pitches Dr. Sixgun the “biggest financial syndicate”
- [21:47] Kale’s good faith escrow—and the setup for the con
- [23:23] O’Shea’s whiskey woes and discovery of the price gouge
- [27:08] The scam is exposed, leading to pursuit of Kale
- [28:28] O’Shea discovers the “profit” left behind—the $5,000 in banknotes
- [30:02] The ultimate twist: the bank has failed, money is worthless
- [30:16] O’Shea’s realization and faint
Tone & Style Highlights
The episode is marked by sharp, humorous dialogue, Western slang, and playful ribbing. The interplay between the skeptical Dr. Sixgun and the increasingly aggrieved O’Shea gives the story both its comic and cautionary edge. The writing maintains a lively, earthy tone with quick-witted exchanges, period-appropriate bluster, and a wry take on classic confidence tricks—proving the “frontier spirit” was as vulnerable to hucksters as any city.
Closing Thoughts
This Dr. Sixgun adventure captures both the grit and folly of frontier life, cleverly weaving a tale about the dangers of easy money, the seduction of big schemes, and the constant adaptability demanded by life in the Old West. The episode’s ironic ending—where even an apparent windfall evaporates into thin air—is classic Western morality with a wink.
A memorable quote to close:
"How do you like that? The confounded little sharper out sharped himself. Doggone if I don't make...let me see—the $3200 in the deal."
— O’Shea (28:41)
(Moments before he learns the bank has gone bust.)
This episode artfully demonstrates the timelessness of human gullibility and the enduring charm of Old Time Radio storytelling.