Death’s Half Mile | Ranger Bill (07-20-55)

Summary

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Podcast Summary: "Death’s Half Mile" | Ranger Bill (07-20-55)

Podcast: Old Time Radio Westerns
Host: Andrew Rhynes
Date: March 28, 2026
Episode: Death’s Half Mile (Digitally Remastered Radio Drama)

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Episode Overview

This episode takes listeners back to the perilous roads of Naughty Pine, focusing on "Death’s Half Mile," a dangerous stretch of highway notorious for its frequent, often fatal accidents. Ranger Bill and his team confront bureaucratic inertia and real-world dangers as they work tirelessly to address an urgent public safety crisis. The story is a classic Western drama exploring themes of civic responsibility, community action, and the frustrating battle to cut through red tape for the public good.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to "Death’s Half Mile" and Its Dangers

• The episode centers on a half-mile section of highway outside Naughty Pine with three major hazards:
  • Sharp curve
  • Narrow bridge immediately after the curve
  • Railroad crossing with fast trains (02:42)
• This deadly combination results in an average of three accidents per week.

2. The Toll on the Allen Family

• Bruno Allen and his son Eric live near the highway and are repeatedly first on the scene, providing first aid and calling authorities after each new accident (05:00).

• Bruno records accident data, hoping officials will act (08:12).

  “Now, take a look at these figures. I’ve kept a record of every accident that’s happened here for the past six months. This will give you an idea of what I’m talking about.”
  — Eric Allen, 08:12

3. Frustration with Bureaucracy

• The Allens receive only perfunctory responses from various officials despite providing detailed incident records (08:56).

• Bill and his fellow rangers recognize the bureaucratic divide: only half the road is federal jurisdiction (07:52), and various agencies pass responsibility.

• The community’s pleas are repeatedly met with excuses about lack of authority or funding.

  “They gave Pop a pat on the back, and that was the end of it.”
  — Eric Allen, 08:42

4. Investigating the Highway

• Bill, Stumpy Jenkins, Gray Wolf, and others examine the road’s three hazards:

  • Lack of adequate warning signs at the sharp curve (11:09)
  • Bridge that narrows from four lanes to two, no warning striping or signage (12:05)
  • Railroad crossing with no blinking lights or advanced warnings, despite very fast trains (13:02)

• The rangers note easy, cost-effective improvements—signage, paint, and reflectors—but hit bureaucratic walls.

  “That bridge ain’t wide enough for a fat elephant to get through.”
  — Stumpy Jenkins, 11:57

5. Meeting with the Highway Commissioner

• Ranger Bill presents a comprehensive five-page recommendation to the Highway Commissioner (14:17), only to learn that all resources are tied up in new highway construction—the safety upgrades are dismissed for lack of funds (15:40).

• Similarly, the railroad company refuses to install better signaling, fearing precedent and unaffordable costs (18:17).

  “There isn’t enough money in my budget to follow your recommendations.”
  — Highway Commissioner, 15:40

  “If we do this for you, then every crossing will have to be treated the same way… our company can’t afford to do that.”
  — Railroad Superintendent, 18:32

6. Experiments in Local Action

• With official avenues closed, Ranger Bill organizes his own rangers for a week-long, round-the-clock patrol: stopping every car to warn drivers (20:23).

• Eric and Bruno build their own warning signs (“Are you next?” / “This is Death's Half Mile. Drive carefully”; 25:41).

• This grassroots action drastically reduces accidents and gives local residents peace of mind.

  “All the drivers are thankful I stopped them and told them what’s ahead.”
  — Stumpy Jenkins, 23:49

7. Practical Demonstration for Officials

• Recognizing that only firsthand experience will move the bureaucrats, Bill invites the Highway Commissioner, the State Police Captain, and the Railroad Superintendent for a tense ride along Death’s Half Mile, deliberately following the inadequate signage (27:02-29:31).

• The official party experiences the confusion and real dangers first-hand—narrow escape at the curve, bridge, and at the railroad crossing just as a train barrels past.

  “This was the only thing left. I had to give you this firsthand experience and show you how easy it is to get killed anywhere along Death’s Half Mile.”
  — Ranger Bill, 29:13

8. Victory: Real Change Comes

• Spurred by the harrowing demonstration, the officials spring into action:

  • Bright, reflective signage installed
  • Bridge widened
  • “Ding-dong” crossing, flashing lights, and wigwag signals added
  • Increased State Police patrols (30:19–30:42)

• The once deadly highway now becomes “the world’s safest half mile” (30:49).

  "Now we can put up another sign! This is the world's safest half mile."
  — Bruno Allen, 30:49

9. Reflections

• Bill notes that too often, people must experience danger themselves before taking it seriously:

  "Isn’t it strange that we can never learn by other people’s experiences? We have to go through them ourselves."
  — Ranger Bill, 31:06

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On continuous tragedy:
  “I wonder if this will ever stop.” — Eric Allen, 04:56
• On agency apathy:
  “All I got in return was a thank you. Said they’d look into it. Nothing’s ever come of it.” — Eric Allen, 08:56
• On practical solutions:
  “Maybe a high concrete ridge in the middle of the road would keep the fellers in one lane out of the other.” — Stumpy Jenkins, 11:31
• On taking matters into their own hands:
  “We’re going to do our own patrolling.” — Ranger Bill, 20:25
• On direct demonstration:
  “Gentlemen, I’m sorry I had to do this, but ordinary appeals didn’t do any good.” — Ranger Bill, 29:13
• On learning from experience:
  “We can never learn by other people’s experiences. We have to go through them ourselves.” — Ranger Bill, 31:06

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• The accident and Allen family’s role: 04:49–06:19
• Reviewing accident records: 08:12
• Rangers examine the hazards firsthand: 11:00–13:27
• Submitting recommendations to Highway Commissioner: 14:15–15:40
• Official denials and excuses: 15:40–18:45
• Ranger-organized patrol begins: 20:25–24:27
• Community-built warning signs go up: 25:27–25:41
• Dramatic drive with officials: 27:02–29:31
• Highway is finally made safe: 30:19–30:49
• Bill’s final reflection: 31:06

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Tone & Style

The episode is dramatic and earnest, with a persistent undertone of hope that human determination and teamwork can overcome even entrenched bureaucracy. Dialogue is straightforward, with touches of period-specific Western humor and homespun wisdom, particularly from Stumpy Jenkins.

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Final Thoughts

“Death’s Half Mile” is a gripping, community-focused tale that shines a light on grassroots activism, the challenges and slow pace of bureaucratic change, and the critical role of personal intervention in saving lives. Ranger Bill and his team remind listeners that doing the right thing often means taking direct action—especially when official avenues stall. The episode wraps up on a triumphant note, emphasizing the necessity of firsthand experience to drive genuine change.

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For further adventures and digitally remastered Old Time Radio Westerns, explore more episodes at otrwesterns.com.

Transcript

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[Stumpy Jenkins]

Warrior of the Woodland.

[Bruno Allen]

Ranger Bill. Warrior of the woodland. Struggling against extreme odds. Traveling dangerous trails. Fighting the many enemies of nature. This is the job of the guardian of the forest, Ranger Bill. Pouring rain, freezing cold, Blistering heat. Snow, floods, bears, rattlesnakes, mountain lions. Yes. All this in exchange for the satisfaction and pride of a job well done.

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[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

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[Bruno Allen]

This is the story of a stretch of highway outside of Naughty Pine called Death's Half Mile. Along this half mile, there are three killers. One is an extremely sharp curve. The second killer is a narrow bridge just around the sharp curve. The third killer is a railroad crossing where the trains come roaring out of a narrow valley and across the highway. This is the place where on the average there are three accidents a week. Let's find out how Bill and his rangers correct this horrible stretch of road. In the story Death's Half Mile. On one side of the highway called Death's Half Mile. Mountains drop to the edge of the road except where a narrow valley opens up. Along this valley runs a small river and a railroad track. On the other side of the road, the ground is fairly level and there's a ranch. Bruno Allen and his family live there, close to the highway in a comfortable home. It's about midnight and Bruno and his son Eric are sleeping. Hey. Hey, Pop, wake up.

[Eric Allen]

I heard it, son. You get the first aid kit and I'll call the police.

[Bruno Allen]

Okay, Pop. Put my jeans and shoes on in a hurry.

[Eric Allen]

Good boy. I wonder if this will ever stop. Let's go, son.

[Bruno Allen]

I'll meet you up front.

[Eric Allen]

Operator, this is Bruno Allen. Please notify the state police that there's been another accident on des half Mile. My son and I are getting out there to give first aid.

[Bruno Allen]

There's two cars, Pop, and looks like a head on collision.

[Eric Allen]

How's it look, Sarge?

[Bruno Allen]

Two men are dead, Bruno. A woman's dying and Doc's trying hard to save her. Children seem all right. You saved a couple of them with your first aid, Bruno.

[Eric Allen]

I sure wish something should be done to stop this butchering. Three accidents a week, Sarge.

[Bruno Allen]

I know.

[Eric Allen]

Is that a ranger car coming in?

[Bruno Allen]

Yeah, I radioed Bill to come out. Hey, Smitty, tell the other ambulance to back in the dock signaling for it. Okay, Simon. Hey, driver, bring your ambulance in here. Hello, Perry. Bruno. Hi, Bill.

[Eric Allen]

How are you, Bill?

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Hey, this is a nasty one, Summer. How'd it happen?

[Bruno Allen]

I don't know, old timer. Bruno called us.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Bruno, you and Eric ought to get a medal for the lives you've saved.

[Bruno Allen]

We'd just assume we didn't have to do this, Stumpy.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

I know what you mean, sonny. I can see a point quite clear.

[Eric Allen]

Eric means what he says, fellas, and he speaks for both of us. Bill, will you and Stumpy and Gray Wolf stop over at the house for coffee? I'd like to talk to you.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Plenty late. Maybe you want sleep.

[Eric Allen]

I can't sleep for a long while.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

After one of these gravel, we'll stop by Bruno. I want to check out the details with Perry and. And we'll be off. Let's go, Serge.

[Bruno Allen]

All right, fellas.

[Eric Allen]

Well, that's the last ambulance. Let's go back to the house, fellas. Nothing more we can do here.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Yeah, Ferrek. And you're right there, young feller. The doing should be done before these accidents. You make a tasty cup of java, Bruno.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

It hits the spot, Pop.

[Bruno Allen]

Doesn't do bad for a pinch hitter. Mom's away over to Junction City to visit Aunt Minnie.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Bruno, what's on your mind?

[Eric Allen]

Death's Half Mile, Bill. Something's got to be done about that suicide lane.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Yeah, I agree with you. But only half the highway is under my jurisdiction. Half on the mountainside because it's in the national park and government range territory.

[Bruno Allen]

Oh, so that's why the Serge called you, huh, Bill?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

That's right, Eric. It's a crazy arrangement, but that's where the boundary is. Right down the middle of the road here, fellas.

[Eric Allen]

Now, take a look at these figures. I've kept a record of every accident that's happened here for the past six months. This will give you an idea of what I'm talking about.

[Bruno Allen]

Mm.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Looks bad.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

You know, Bruno, you've got a real head on your shoulders. This is a pretty jolting record of what goes on along Death's Half mile.

[Eric Allen]

Thanks for the compliment, Bill, but that's what they all said.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I don't understand that.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Plenty strange remark to make.

[Bruno Allen]

Pop's talking about the highway commissioner, the captain of state police, the superintendent of the railroad. They gave Pop a pat on the back and. And that was the end of it.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Did you go and see these fellers?

[Eric Allen]

No, Stumpy. I wrote to them. I gave them the facts. And all I got in return was a thank you. Said they'd look into it. Nothing's ever come of it.

[Bruno Allen]

I don't think they care how many people get killed on the highway.

[Eric Allen]

Eric, don't talk like that. You don't know the facts, so don't make any harsh statements.

[Bruno Allen]

I'm sorry, Pop.

[Eric Allen]

Will you see what you can do with the powers that be? Bill, maybe they'll listen to you.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

They sure will, sonny. Bill has a way of making anybody list.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

You speak plenty truth, Stumpy.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Flattery will get you nowhere, fellas.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

It ain't flattery, young feller. It's the plain truth.

[Bruno Allen]

Bill, please, will you help my pop?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Okay, Eric, I'll help you down.

[Eric Allen]

I know if they won't listen to you, they won't listen to anybody.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I'm not making any promises, Bruno, but I'll give it a try.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

My time builds through with these fellers. They'll be willing to listen. Mark my words. Seeing that accident kind of makes a feller think about how dangerous an automobile is, don't it, fellers?

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Ah, you saved money that time, Stumpy. Car like loaded gun.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

You can imagine what Bruno and Eric go through. Each time there is an accident, they're the first ones there.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Bad to hear hurt people cry for help and find bodies laying on highway. How you plan to help Bruno, Bill?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

First thing I'm going to do, Gray Wolf, is go back out in the morning and take a real hard look at death's half mile.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

I pull off plenty far on shoulder, Bill, so car not in way.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

That's a good idea, Grey Wolf. Leave the red light flashing so it'll slow down oncoming cars. We don't want to be part of an accident.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

You can say that again, young fellow.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

There's curve ahead. Very bad turns.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Yeah, sure is. It's like a hairpin almost. There's only one sign. All it says is curve ahead.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

More warning signs needed for this curve. And speed limit sign too.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

That's right, Gray Wolf, you've hit the nail on the head. I think there should be a really large sign about here and it should have reflectors on it so it can be plainly seen at night.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Then another sign showing what kind of curve this is. And also a speed limit sign ahead.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Maybe a high concrete ridge in the middle of the road would keep the fellers in one lane out of the other.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

That's an excellent idea, old timer. You should be a safety engineer. Let's walk around the curve and take a look at the bridge.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Ah, that death trap number two.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

That bridge ain't wide enough for a fat elephant to get through.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

It's strange that four lane highway become two lane that bridge.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

That's right, Grey Wolf. It happens that way frequently. Say that there aren't any narrow bridge warning signs. Nor are the abutments striped with black and white paint.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Maybe reflectors help show bridge structure too.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Yeah, I believe they would.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Boy, a feller don't have much of a chance. You come around that curve and right at this skinny bridge. If one don't get you, the other one will.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Let's take a look at death trap number three. Well, here it is fellas. Perfect setup for an accident.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Ah, train come roaring out of valley and sound is muffled by narrow valley walls.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Yep, Pyjon, you like a fuming dragon before you know where it come from.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Here come one now, Bill.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

That'll be the Fireball Express. Gray Wolf, get on the other side and stop any cars.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Ah, I hurry.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Hey, look at that monster come rolling.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

It sure was deceptive to a motorist. It's even more so to be wig wag signals here with blinking lights.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Yeah, if you said it, sonny. And there are wooden cross arms don't tell you nothing except that there's a railroad track here. Most folks probably think that this is some backwoods line. They don't realize that some of the fastest trains in the country fly through here.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Full blast.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

That fellow scoot through here like arrow need more warning.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

That's right, Gray Wolf. Well, fellas, I've seen enough. Let's go back to headquarters and I'll write up my recommendation.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

What do you plan to do, Bill?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

The first thing I'm going to do is show them to the State highway commissioner.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

You finished writing recommendations, Bill?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Yes, Gray Wolf, I have. There we are. All five pages of you.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Writing a book, sonny?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Not quite, Stumpy, but I haven't left anything out.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

You go to Canyon City now.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Yes, Gray Wolf. I'll be back early this evening.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

You're walking into a lion's den, Sonny. I understand the highway Commissioner is about as ornery as a grizzly coming out of hibernation.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I'll feed him these recommendations and see how he acts.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Bill, this is a very impressive write up. I say that seriously. Originally I thought that Bruno Allen was stretching a point or two.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

But words can only describe half the truth, Commissioner.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Yes, I'm beginning to realize that now that you've stepped into the picture. I know this is serious and you don't spend your time on nonsense.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I don't mean to be costy, Commissioner, but this flower throwing isn't solving the problem or answering the questions you've read in my write up.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Yeah, I know that, Bill. I really wasn't trying to avoid the issue. All the compliments are true and deserving. However, I was paving the way for the bad news.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Bad news?

[Eric Allen]

Yes.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

There isn't enough money in my budget to follow your recommendations.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Not even to put in the signs I've asked for?

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

I'm afraid not.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

But why?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I don't understand, Bill.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

See those drawings on the wall?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Yeah. The three superhighways the state's building, aren't they?

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Yes, Bill, they are. They've taken every red cent we can scrape together.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I see. I thought the highways were financed with bond issues.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

They are, but the money. The bond money keeps coming in dribbles and it's all soaked up like rain on dry ground.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

You can't set aside enough money to take care of death's half mile.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

The construction men have to be paid. So do our material.

[Eric Allen]

Bills.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

I'm sorry, Bill. There's not a thing I can do for you now. Folks will just have to drive more carefully when they travel that stretch of road.

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[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

That's the whole story, Mr. Scanlon, and the facts you have before you in black and white.

[Bruno Allen]

Yes, Mr. Jefferson. I've been looking at them and I must say you've got a strong case here.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Thank you. I think you'll find that all the statements I've made can be checked out and found to be accurate.

[Bruno Allen]

Without a doubt, Mr. Jefferson. Without a doubt. But there's more than just these facts to consider. Oh, Mr. Jefferson, if we were to put wig wag signals and flashing warning lights at every country road crossing, this railroad would go broke first thing in the morning.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

But that isn't what I'm asking. Mr. Scanlon, I can understand your problem, and I think you're right. However, I am not asking this for every country road crossing. This crossing is definitely a hazard crossing and needs attention badly.

[Bruno Allen]

I'm sorry, Mr. Jefferson, but I can't agree with you. If we do this for you, then every crossing will have to be treated the same way. We'll set a precedent, and our company can't afford to do that.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Is that your final word, Mr. Scanlon?

[Bruno Allen]

Yes, I'm afraid it is. The drivers will just have to be more careful.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Honestly, Bill, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I can't see how more frequent patrolling will stop the slaughter

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

on that stretch of road. It won't stop it, Captain Paulsen, but I know it'll reduce it. Your men can hail down fast drivers and warn them of the waiting traps. Yeah, you.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

You do have a point there, Bill,

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

but there's one hitch in it. What's that, Captain? I don't have the extra men to do the job.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

My force is understaffed.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Why, we need 30 more men and there's no possibility of getting the extra patrols.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Sorry, Bill, I just can't do it now. I can't even make the required patrols right now.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Tell you what, though.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Yes, 50 men will be graduated from

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

police school at the end of the year.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

And I'll put the extra men on

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

patrol duty around Death's Half Mile.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

That'll be fine, but it doesn't solve the problem right now, Captain.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

I know that, Bill, but there's nothing I can do about it.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Well, young fellow, you're licked now, ain't you?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Not yet, Stumpy.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Bill, you never learn when you're beat. What plan you have now.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I'm going to try an experiment for a week.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Experiment?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

We're going to do our own patrolling. Stumpy, go out to the garage and get another patrol car.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Okay, Sonny, you're up to something. I've got a feeling it's gonna be good. Now get the car ready.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

What idea you have, Bill?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

We're going to see if we can't cut down the accident rate on Death's Half Mile for one week.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Gray Wolf, you pick up more Rangers for a job.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Not for the daylight hours, Grey Wolf. I'll put two men at each end of Death's Half Mile for the night watch. Won't be so lonesome that way. And one can sleep while the other stands guard and changes up. Let's go. This is your spot, old Timer.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Yeah, it's fine. This is a right nice place to stand guard. How are we going to work this, Sonny?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I want you to stop every car, warn them about the dangers ahead and tell them to reduce speed and then let them go on.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Say, that's easy. He's fallen off a log.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Okay, Stumpy. All hands will stand eight hour watches, including myself. I'll take the first night watch. Tom will probably relieve Gray Wolf. I'll bring two more of the boys out to keep us company at night.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Okay, Bill. Sounds good to me.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

It sounds good to me too, Bill.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I think we'll cut down the accident toll to nothing for the next week. Let's go to our station, Grey Wolf. See you later, Stumpy.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Yell out if you get on some. I yell back.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

It'll be easier to talk to myself and yell for a mile.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Now, here come Carow, Bill.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Let's stop them and give them a helpful warning that'll save their lives.

[Bruno Allen]

What you looking for, Rangers, Bandit?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

No, we're not looking for anyone in particular, mister. Oh, why the roadblock Then to save your life and the lives of the people in your car, the next half mile of highway is called Death's Half Mile. It is?

[Eric Allen]

How come?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

There's a railroad crossing over tracks that carry fast trains. Then there's a narrow bridge and a nasty curve. Go ahead now, but drive slowly and carefully.

[Bruno Allen]

Thanks for the warning, Ranger.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I don't want to be caught napping. You're welcome, mister. Now go ahead.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Feeling inside, Bill? That fellow will appreciate our warning.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

That's right, Grey Wolf. Nobody wants to have an auto accident. That is, nobody in his right mind.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Here come three cars now.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

You take care of them, Gray Wolf. I'm gonna walk over and talk to Stumpy. I'm beginning to get another ide.

[Eric Allen]

Many thanks, rangers. I've heard about this place, but I

[Bruno Allen]

didn't know exactly where it was.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

That's what I'm here for, sonny. Now go ahead and take it easy.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

How are things going, old friend?

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Yeah, right smart, Sonny. All the drivers are thankful. I stopped him and told him what's ahead.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

That's fine, Stuffy. I'm going over and have a talk with Bruno and Eric. Now, watch up. What do you mean, what's up?

[Stumpy Jenkins]

I can tell by the please with yourself look you have on your face that your brain cells are turning over full speed.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Well, I was just thinking.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Yeah, that's when things start happening.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Half of this terrible piece of road is ours, Stumpy. Why can't we put a sign up at each end on our half of the highway?

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Say, now you're cooking with gas, honey. Make it big enough so even an owl can read it in the daytime.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Bruno, you sure are a handy fella to have around.

[Bruno Allen]

So are you, Bill.

[Eric Allen]

Eric and I have been getting some wonderful sleep since you got your men out on the highway.

[Bruno Allen]

Man, it sure has been peaceful around here, Phil. I used to shudder every time I heard a car go by.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I can understand how you feel, Eric.

[Eric Allen]

I'll have these signs finished in a couple of hours, Bill.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Okay. I'll go back to the highway. You bring them out when they're ready.

[Bruno Allen]

Sure will.

[Eric Allen]

When folks read these, they ought to stop and think.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Those are right smart signs, Bill. They ought to do the trick.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I don't think they'll correct the difficulties here, but they may make vibers stop

[Bruno Allen]

and think and then slow down, huh, Bill?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I hope so, Eric.

[Eric Allen]

There you are, fellas.

[Bruno Allen]

Both signs are up.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Ah, plenty. Good job.

[Bruno Allen]

Boy, that hits right between the eyes. Are you next? This is Death's Half Mile. Drive carefully.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

That ought to stop Him? I think you've licked the problem, sonny.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I'm not through yet.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

What you mean, Bill?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

There are three gentlemen that have to be shown this problem firsthand. What time does the Fireball Express roar through here, Harry?

[Bruno Allen]

Five minutes after 10 every morning, Bill. And man does she go.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I have a date with the Fireball Express right here at this crossing at 10:05 in the morning. Hello, Commissioner, this is Bill Jefferson.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Yes, Bill. What's on your mind?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I'd like you to take a ride with me out to Death's Half Mile in the morning.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

I don't see that it's necessary for me to do that, Bill. I haven't changed my mind.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Would you do it as a favor to me, please?

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

All right, Bill, what time?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Be at my office by 9:30.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Okay, I'll be there.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I'm not asking you to Change your mind, Mr. Scanlon. I'm just asking you to take a ride with me.

[Bruno Allen]

I know you're up to something, but I guess the only way to find out what it is be to go on that drive with you.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Well, what time?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Be at my office at 9:30.

[Bruno Allen]

I'll be there.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Well, Captain, what do you say? All right, Bill, what time? Be at my office at 9:30.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

I'll be there.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Bill.

[Bruno Allen]

I like to know what you're up to.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

So would I, Mr. Scanlon.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Well, I've known Bill long enough to be sure we're not going sightseeing. I'm afraid you gentlemen will have to wait for my answer. We're approaching Death's Half Mile, gentlemen.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Oh, a sign.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

I wonder who put that up there.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Kind of gory, isn't it?

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I put the sign up and there's one just like it at the other end.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Aren't you gonna slow down, Bill?

[Bruno Allen]

There's a hairpin curve ahead, you know.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I don't see any warning. The sign just says curve. Doesn't say anything about it being.

[Bruno Allen]

This isn't any time for jokes.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

But Mr. Jefferson, slow down.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I'm only going 35 miles an hour, Superintendent.

[Bruno Allen]

Great scout, man. Slow down and we'll never make it.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

We almost get out the road.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Captain, I'm driving at a safe and sane speed, am I not?

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Yes, Bill, you are. I see why you brought us.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Hey, look out for that bridge.

[Bruno Allen]

We're gonna.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

We'll never make it.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Well, now we're almost through with that half mile and nothing's happened.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Stop at the tracks.

[Bruno Allen]

The Fireball Express is coming through the valley right now.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

I don't hear any train, Mr. Scanlan.

[Bruno Allen]

Well, in the name of common sense, stop. Get us all killed.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Frankly, gentlemen, there's no indication that a train coming.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

We'll be perfectly safe. I can hear very well. I heard the whistle bell. Stop this conference.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Well, it seems that I did hear something like a train whistle. All right, I'll stop.

[Bruno Allen]

Boy, am I glad you stopped. We'd all be dead.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

That's exactly my point. Gentlemen, I'm sorry I had to do this, but ordinary appeals didn't do any good. Bruno Allen tried to get you to listen. I tried. You turned a deaf ear to me also. This was the only thing left. I had to give you this firsthand experience and show you how easy it is to get killed anywhere along Death's Half Mile. I expect you gentlemen to act accordingly. Well, Bruno, Eric, what do you think of Death's Half Mile now?

[Eric Allen]

Bill, I can't believe it. There are adequate and proper signs. There's a bumper hump in the middle of the curve and is painted yellow.

[Bruno Allen]

Yeah, and the bridge has been widened to four lanes.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

You said it, sonny. There's one of the best ding dongs at the railroad crossing you ever see.

[Highway Commissioner Scanlon]

Also flashing red lights and wig wag signals. State police patrol. More now than ever, Bill.

[Eric Allen]

You and your men have done automobile drivers a real service.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Well, don't forget, Bruno, you and Eric have done your job well too.

[Bruno Allen]

Now we can put another sign up. This is the world's safest half mile.

[Ranger Bill Jefferson]

Yes, it was a battle, Eric, but now you can put up your new sign. Isn't it strange that we can never learn by other people's experiences? We have to go through them ourselves. That's what I had to do to the superintendent, the commissioner and the captain of the state police. Well, see you next week for more

[Stumpy Jenkins]

adventure with Ranger

[Tyler Redick]

Tyler redick here from 2311 Racing Victory Lane. Yeah, it's even better with Chumba by my side. Race to chumbacasino.com let's Chumba. No purchase necessary VTW Group void where prohibited by law CTNCs 21+ sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Alex Canceroitz]

Hi, this is Alex Canceroitz. I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a longtime reporter and an on air contributor to cnbc. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it, asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, in meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties. Listen to Big Technology Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

[Andrew Rines]

This is Mike Bolo of Lexicon Valley

[Bruno Allen]

and I'm Bob Garfield. Are you one of those people who sometimes uses words?

[Andrew Rines]

Do you communicate or acquire information with, you know, language?

[Bruno Allen]

Hey, us too. So join us on Lexicon Valley to true over the history, culture and many mysteries of English plus some lice cracks.

[Andrew Rines]

Find us on one of those apps where people listen to podcasts.

[Bruno Allen]

Sam. Howdy.

[Stumpy Jenkins]

This is Stumpy Jenkins, arranger Bill's old sidekick, as I guess you all know. Just adding a little extra word of thanks for getting yourself in on the program today. Always glad to have you along and I hope you invite your friends too, for we sure got lots of adventures to tell you about and we don't want you to miss any. So you make sure to be there by your radio every week. Don't lose out on our next story. Foreign.

[Andrew Rines]

This has been a presentation of otrwesterns.com and we hope you enjoyed. Please take some time to like and rate this episode within your favorite podcast application. Follow us on Facebook by going to otrwesterns.com Facebook and subscribe to our YouTube channel by going to otrwesterns.Com

[Stumpy Jenkins]

Become one

[Andrew Rines]

of our ranch hands and unlock some exclusive content. We want to thank our most recent ranch hands, Steve who joined us recently. You too can join by going to otrwesterns.com donate send us an email podcasttrwesterns.com and you can call and leave us a voicemail. 707-986-8739 this episode is copyrighted under the Attribution Non Commercial Share Alike Copyright. For more information go to otrwesterns.com copyright have a great day and thanks for listening.

[Tyler Redick]

Tyler redick here from 2311 Racing Victory Lane. Yeah, it's even better with Chumba by my side. Race to chumbacasino.com let's Chumba no purchase necessary VTW Group Void where prohibited by law. CTNCS21+ sponsored by Chumba Casino hi, this is Alex Canceroitz.

[Alex Canceroitz]

I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a longtime reporter and an on air contributor to cnbc. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it, asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, Amazon, and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, in meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

[Andrew Rines]

This is Mike Bolo of Lexicon Valley

[Bruno Allen]

and I'm Bob Garfield. Are you one of those people who sometimes uses words?

[Andrew Rines]

Do you communicate or acquire information with, you know, language?

[Bruno Allen]

Hey, us too. So join us on Lexicon Valley to chew over the history, culture and many mysteries of English, plus some wisecracks.

[Andrew Rines]

Find us on one of those apps where people listen to podcasts.