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Doug (4:02)

I promised I'd avoid a gunfight if possible, but it looks as though it isn't possible. I have one bullet left. You may draw when you're ready. Have gun will travel starring Mr. John Dana as Paladin. San Francisco, 1875. The Carlton Hotel. Headquarters of the man called Paladin.

Ella West (4:49)

Go on, Mr. Paladin.

Doug (4:50)

Well, at 7:00', clock, we could have champagne in the loud. At 8:00', clock, dinner at the Peacock. Something special.

Ella West (4:56)

Oh, I'm intrigued, Mr. Paladin.

Doug (4:58)

And then coach ride to barnaby's for crepe Suzetta's. Only barnaby prepares a crepe sutton. And after that, it'll occur back here by the fire in the lounge. No. Then what? No. Oh, hey boy.

Ella West (5:09)

Who is this?

Doug (5:10)

Me. Number one for Mr. Paladin. Sorry, lady. No champagne. No peacock, no creepy Suzetti. No liquors tonight. Wire. Come, you go. I know you already packed. Wire here.

Ella West (5:25)

Bad news, Mr. Paladin.

Doug (5:27)

Ah, dear lady, forgive me. Hey boy. Send an answer to tom Carter Abilene. Just say have gun. Will. It's no surprise to anybody that the attractive and inexpensive new radios have proved popular. It's no surprise. It is to anyone who listens to CBS radio. With so much in the way of music, comedy, drama, variety and news coming your way every day on CBS radio. More than one radio around the house is more than a convenience. It's almost a necessity for anyone who has a daily routine. The man of the house wants to come home to an attractive home and an attractive wife. But household chores in themselves are rarely inspirational. The smart homemaker is one who refuses to let her regular responsibilities get her down. She gets her work done every day, but she gets her entertainment in, too. She has a Radio in the kitchen as well as the living room. Chances are she has a portable radio as well, to follow her from one task to another around the house. She knows why the inexpensive new radios are so popular. And what's more, she knows the value of CBS radio, too. Here you are. Your bag, your saddle and your gear. This is your hotel right here. What's that? Oh, folks from the wild west show hold up in town right now. Most likely Eller West. Ella west, huh? Yeah. The star attraction at tomahawk Carter's wild west show. That was kind of frisky at times. Wouldn't go into the lobby by the front way if I was you. You wouldn't. Not with ella cutting up before breakfast. She just might take it into her mind to shoot them buttons off in that fancy vest you're wearing. Well, I'll chance it. Well, just. Just friendly advice, brother.

Ella West (7:46)

You shut.

Doug (7:56)

Sir, I'd like a room, please. What? A room. My name is paladin. Oh, yeah? Just a minute. Now, hold on, Ella. Fun's fun, but enough.

Ella West (8:15)

Fancy pants in that fancy vest. No one else. You don't need a room, boys. He needs a cage. I might even buy you a lemon square squash later on, Fancy pan.

Doug (8:28)

I'd prefer whiskey if I felt like drinking, which I don't.

Ella West (8:32)

Say, you know who you're talking to?

Doug (8:33)

I do.

Ella West (8:34)

I'm ella west, and I can out shoot out ride and out cuss any man here. I can out drink you, I can out chew you. And I can out spit you, possibly.

Doug (8:44)

Hey, Ella, there's tracy Calver.

Ella West (8:46)

Tracy. Where?

Doug (8:47)

Ah, Tracy. Now, you going to let ella take over your spot in the show, huh? Morning, Ella.

Ella West (8:54)

I didn't see you come in.

Doug (8:55)

Tracy, why don't you answer breed's question?

Ella West (8:59)

Well, I just might take your spot. For two cents, I'd run you out of town, pony boy.

Doug (9:05)

Don't cut your price for me, Ella. Why, you drinks around Tomahawk Carter, everybody. I want to talk to you, Ella. You too, Tracy. Squabbling's got to stop.

Ella West (9:19)

You find me in the bar. Come on.

Doug (9:22)

Sure thing. Yeah. What was it this time, Tracy? The same thing it always is, Mr. Carter. Well, wrap me in buffalo hide, Paladin. Hello, Tom. Hello. You're a sighted engage, a real sight. Yes, sir. Tracy is Mr. Paladin. He knew me way back when I was making an honest living. Tracy Calvert. I've seen you ride, Mr. Calvert. Laramie, Wyoming. 71 when he took the grand prize. I had a lucky day, Mr. Paladin. We got power to make well, I'll run along, mister. No, no, you stick here. Tracy, I got bad trouble and I want you to handle it. Save your money, Tom. I never saw a man you couldn't handle. It ain't a man that little gal I want. Gentlemen. Tom, there's one wild thing man will never civilize. Woman. And if you mean that one, I'm afraid there'll be no pleasure in failing. That little gal in there happens to be Ella West. 24 years old, she's already more of a name than calamity jane, Cimarron rose and belle starr lumped together. I got her in my show and I got damaged bills to prove it. And I'm gonna lose my shirt even before I get my show together. If something ain't done, you lose more when you get on the road. There's a million people want to see Ella West. Mr. Paladin. Darling of the frontier, heart of gold. Yes, I've seen the write up. She's fast with a gun and she can ride like a comanche. She has to be more than that. Ella west is a legend, Tom, A romantic illusion. Your audience will expect you to bring it to life. That's right. And instead, you'll produce a repugnant, grimy faced, loudmouth little shrew. Well, I don't figure ella's as bad as all that, Mr. Paladin. Oh, how long have you known her? She joined the show last month. My question was, how long have you known her? Mr. Calvert, if you don't mind, I'll look in on the stock. Tracy and ella was raised in the same part of the country. Learn shooting and riding together. Let him tame her. He seems to have a personal interest now. Dog gone it. We're old Tom. Tom, you're talking about making a shell horse out of a wild, mean tempered colt. Now, that takes more than taming it means crushing its spirit, rebuilding it from the ground up. With a horse, the odds are 10 to 1 for failure. I guess I knew it wasn't any use all along. I could have made a fortune with her. That's why I want 10% of the entire season's gate if I succeed. Seed, you ain't changed, have you? I hope that's a compliment. A never stealing to ask what you're worth. Of all baby P cigarettes. Catch. Filters best. Kent filters best. It makes good sense when you smoke Kent. Kent filters best of all of the brands of cigarette. Kent tastes the best. Kent tastes the best. Oranger tastes and all the rest. Kent filters best. It makes good sense when you smoke kent. A b. Filter. Cigarette kent. Filter.

Ella West (13:04)

What do you want?

Doug (13:06)

This here's Mr. Paladinella.

Ella West (13:07)

Oh, fancy pants.

Doug (13:09)

He come here to learn you some things.

Ella West (13:11)

You ain't gonna learn me nothing.

Doug (13:13)

Correct. My function is to teach. You will do the learning. I quit fair off, Tom. She just resigned.

Ella West (13:19)

Wait just a blasted minute here. If anyone gets runned off, it's gonna be him.

Doug (13:23)

Go along, Tom. I'll talk to you later. I'll be in the saloon. Now then, sit down, Ms. West. Mind if I smoke?

Ella West (13:36)

No, go ahead. Try lighting that cigar.

Doug (13:41)

Now, fancy pants, that will be two deductions from your wages. The cost of the cigar and the bullet damage.

Ella West (13:47)

You're kind of a cool one, fancy pants. But you ain't gonna make no lady out of me.

Doug (13:51)

First, you're not worth 2 cents to the show as a lady. And second, that would be impossible in the first place.

Ella West (13:55)

Why you. You took my gun.

Doug (13:58)

It'll be less noisy that way. Now sit down, please. Better. Although your audiences will expect you to be somewhat different from the average woman. They will expect certain fundamental manners. The essence of showmanship is to be different without being obnoxious.

Ella West (14:17)

You're a lily livered fancy talking dude. I'll run you out of town by morning.

Doug (14:21)

I believe you made the same ridiculous threat to Tracy Calvert.

Ella West (14:23)

Him too. Tracy Said anything to you about me? I'll kill him.

Doug (14:27)

There's a ring of honesty in that threat, Ms. West. However, he said nothing. I was merely speculating. Are we ready?

Ella West (14:37)

You got something to learn me? I mean teach me, then get on with it. But keep your nose pulled in, Dude.

Doug (14:51)

Incorrect.

Ella West (14:52)

I gotta eat, don't I?

Doug (14:54)

You don't reach with a fork and spear a slice of bread. You pick it up.

Ella West (14:56)

Now just a minute.

Doug (14:57)

And you never speak with your mouth full. Now it's one thing to act homespun. It's quite another great. You wearing a gun, Dude? It's quite another to create revulsion. I suggest you confine your idiosyncrasies to calling the food littles and complaining over the last. I asked you a question, Dude. I heard you. Because if you ain't got a gun, you better get one. I'm going to teach you some manners.

Ella West (15:16)

Drop it, Ellie.

Doug (15:18)

You've been tied to this dude for two days now. You like it or something?

Ella West (15:21)

I'm going along. Cause there's money in it. You know an easier way? Breed.

Doug (15:27)

All right, Ella, you say the word when you need me to. Breed seems to resent me almost as much as you do.

Ella West (15:34)

I can Handle Breed for you, dude?

Doug (15:36)

No need, Ms. West. When the time comes, I'll handle him myself. Remember, just pretend I'm a newspaper reporter.

Ella West (15:53)

Get on with it.

Doug (15:55)

Another question, miss. Tell us about your parents.

Ella West (15:59)

My old man was a stinking drunk and the old lady was worse. She was.

Doug (16:02)

You are talking to reporters.

Ella West (16:03)

Then let them make it up like they've been doing all along.

Doug (16:09)

Mention the homestead.

Ella West (16:10)

Homestead? It was a stinking sour pen. You can ask Tracy Calvert. He. It was so bad you couldn't believe it.

Doug (16:16)

I'm sorry.

Ella West (16:17)

You wouldn't feel so blasted up if you got brought up like that.

Doug (16:20)

You knew Tracy Calvert then?

Ella West (16:22)

Yeah, I knew him. We was kids then. His daddy had a nice spread of land. You should have seen Tracy's house. All painted inside and out, with a fence around it. And Tracy's ma starched up and natural. She gave me a dress once. My old lady traded it for some whiskey. No, Tracy. To laugh if you'd ever seen me wearing it.

Doug (16:43)

Anyhow, I think I understand. What about you, Tracy Calvert?

Ella West (16:48)

Do you? Maybe you do that. You're kind of a strange one. You sell? I didn't know real men came in fancy pants. What I mean is, we ain't doing so bad, are we?

Doug (17:01)

I don't know.

Ella West (17:02)

He's sort of like you. Everything I wasn't, Tracy was. Everything I didn't have, he did. When he was real little. His mom let me stay. One night she come in, pulled the COVID up and kissed me. I was 16 and he was 18 when they was gonna move away. He wasn't growed up yet, but I was. I was growed up plenty. I didn't ask Tracy to marry him. He'd just take me with him. I'd do anything if he would. He could cut me up into little pieces if he wanted to. Just take me. I never said the same thing since, but I'm saying it to you. I. I ain't what folks think. No man's never touched me. You take me with you when you go back to San Francisco. I wouldn't be afraid with you. Maybe just kiss my cheek and say something nice. I don't want to be in no show, printed in no paper. I. I just want somebody to know I'm alive. Please.

Doug (18:02)

No.

Ella West (18:03)

What's the matter?

Doug (18:04)

Look at yourself. You're still that grimy 16 year old kid pretending she's a man. You don't compete with women because you're afraid to find a man who wants the smell of the stables and ask him to take you away.

Ella West (18:16)

Breed wants Me?

Doug (18:17)

Then you and Mr. Breed deserve each other.

Ella West (18:19)

And he can have me just as soon as he kills you.

Doug (18:33)

Do you see speed laws and other regulations as restrictive, or do you look upon them as protective? When a police officer writes a summons for traffic violations, do you see him as an enemy or a friend? Your life may depend on your attitudes. Statistics clearly indicate that where laws are obeyed, deaths go down. It's no secret that emotional immaturity is the major factor in our accident rate. How else but childish can you describe the notion that breaking a traffic regulation is a way of getting away with something? What could be more infantile than believing one can prove his superiority by ignoring a stoplight? Unfortunately, too many drivers on the road subscribe to that kind of emotional outlook. The result is tragic. Almost 85% of all traffic accidents in america are caused by careless, childish driving. We hope you know our traffic laws and the people who enforce them are there to help save your life. He's a nasty one. Mr. Paladin belong, if you like. Well, good afternoon, ella. I heard you wanted to see me, Mr. Bree. Oh, yeah, yeah. I didn't recognize you first wearing them big boys clothes. You're carrying your play acting too far this time, ella.

Ella West (20:07)

Play acting? I've shot men for less.

Doug (20:09)

That's kid talking. We aren't kids anymore.

Ella West (20:11)

Shut up, Tracy.

Doug (20:12)

You heard the lady, Tracy. Shut up and get out. Me and fancy pants gonna settle something.

Ella West (20:17)

I changed my mind, Breed.

Doug (20:19)

I don't want no killing, honey. We made a bargain. You're gonna keep it all away. Tracy, take her to one side. You, barkeep, pour five shots and set them up in the line. Yes, sir. Well, see, I promised Tom Carter I'd avoid a gunfight if possible. Oh, you ain't got no choice, fancy pants. All poured? Yes, sir. Good. Now then, Mr. Breed, I have one bullet left. Please draw whenever you're ready. Well, are you going to draw? I didn't. If you aren't going to draw, I suggest that you find Tom Carter, hand in your resignation and start traveling. Now, Lessons continue at 7, Ms. West. In my room, please. Be on time.

Ella West (21:43)

Well, I got myself some female clothes. Cost more in genuine buckskin. I took a bath, too. Calvert's right. If I ain't a woman, I ain't nothing. I can go if you want me to.

Doug (22:05)

You look very nice, miss.

Ella West (22:06)

You don't have to say that.

Doug (22:07)

It happens to be true. You come off surprisingly womanly in address store.

Ella West (22:13)

Sold me a lot of lashings and crossroads to go underneath.

Doug (22:16)

It's not considered good Taste to discuss undergarments.

Ella West (22:19)

I'm sorry. Only thing that threw me was my top notches. Wasn't platinum cap on his tail. I still hate you. Kind of. You smile and go ahead. I don't blame you. I'm clumsy and I talk ignorant, and I guess a few yards of silk don't help the likes of me much.

Doug (22:41)

Wise man judges by the lady's smile.

Ella West (22:44)

I think I felt better when you was fluffing my knuckles and telling me not to spear my bread. Golly, that's the first nice thing you said to me.

Doug (22:53)

Dealing with a woman.

Ella West (22:54)

Now you're dealing with a shaky one. You just being kind to me.

Doug (23:00)

A woman needs kindness only when she has no virtues in her.

Limu (23:04)

I.

Ella West (23:06)

I wouldn't want you to say anything out of pity.

Doug (23:08)

Pity isn't included in the course. Come in. Mr. Palace and I were holy lovely jumping toads.

Ella West (23:18)

Oh, Tracy.

Doug (23:20)

Well. Well, I. Gosh.

Ella West (23:24)

What's the matter, Tracy?

Doug (23:26)

Why, Ella, I've never seen you in. I mean, your hair, your eyes. Ella. You're a lady, Ella. You sure are. And I'll kill a man who says you ain't. I'm sorry for what I said to yell about not being a lady, but doggone it, you change. He changed for you, Mr. Kelsey, huh? She'll tell you herself in time, but she'd like it very much if you just kept that silly look on your face and kept thinking of her as a lady. Oh, I will, Ella.

Andrew Rines (24:00)

I swear I will.

Doug (24:01)

Honestly, what'd I do wrong? Did I offend you?

Ella West (24:07)

No. No, dad.

Doug (24:12)

Now, ella, don't cry. I. Mr. Paladin, what do I do now? Take your lady in your arms, Mr. Kelvin, and never let her. How are things in Abilene Town? In Abilene Town, things are going smoothly. And how are things here in San Francisco? Smoothly. Specifically, the young lady I never dined with, Is she still registered? Oh, yeah. Then will you please take her this note and tell her I'm back? I do it, but her husband no like a husband. She get married two days ago. But the spanish dancer register today. Very nice. Oh, you catch him up for dinner, eh? The Spanish dancer. Oh, boy. Hey, boy, take that note up to the spanish dancer with my compliments. Same note. Same note. No one we know of approves of wasting money. In spite of that, however, we americans are often guilty of wasting our money by the uses we make of our government facilities. Take the operation of the post office, for example. Mostly out of habit, Many offices and individuals post outgoing mail at the end of the day. In so doing, they leave post office employees with too little work to do at other times of the day. In addition, we forget to include zone numbers as part of the address. In both ways, we're slowing down the entire system for delivering mail and adding to the cost of our postal operation. The problem is simple enough to solve. Start solving it tomorrow. If you'll arrange to post letters and packages earlier in the day and include zone numbers on the return address as well as the outgoing address, you'll help our post office operate more efficiently for you and at less cost too. Remember, for faster, more economical service, mail early in the day and include zone numbers. Have gun will travel, created by herb meadow and sam rolf, is produced by norman mcdonnell and stars john dana as paladin with ben wright as hey boy. Tonight's story was written by gene roddenberry and adapted for radio by john dawson. Featured in the cast were virginia gregg, sam edwards, harry bartel, lawrence stopkin, lynn allen and barney phillips. Hugh douglas speaking. Join us again next week for have Gun Will Travel.

Ella West (27:30)

Sam.

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Limu (28:48)

We have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug Limu.

Doug (29:03)

Is that guy with the binoculars watching us.

Limu (29:06)

Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you need@libertymutual.com Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty Savings Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company Affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.

Ella West (29:20)

Foreign.

Andrew Rines (29:27)

This has been a presentation of otrwesterns.com and we hope you enjoyed. Please take some time to like and rate our shows in your favorite podcast application. Follow us on Facebook by going to otrwesterns.com Facebook join in the conversation by going to otrwesterns.Com Discord and don't forget to send us an email podcasttrwesterns.com this episode is copyright under the Attribution Non Commercial Share Like Copyright. For more information, go to otrwesterns.com copyright have a great day. And again, thanks for listening.

Limu (30:30)

And Doug, Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

Doug (30:46)

Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us.

Limu (30:48)

Cut the camera, they see us Only pay for what you need@libertymutual.com Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty Savings vary undertaken by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company affiliates excludes Massachusetts Starting.

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VRBO Announcer (31:58)

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Doug (32:00)

Hmm, it's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

Shopify Announcer (32:03)

Could you be more specific when it's cravenient?

Doug (32:06)

Okay, like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter available right down the street at am, pm or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a second at AM pm. I'm seeing a pattern here. Well yeah, we're talking about what I.

Shopify Announcer (32:17)

Crave, which is anything from am pm.

Doug (32:19)

What more could you want? Stop by AMPM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience am PM Too much good stuff.