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Andrew Rines
Welcome to the old time radio westerns. I'm your host, Andrew Rines, and let's get into this episode. This episode is going to be Half Gun Will Travel Original air date is January 4, 1959 in this episode, an Irish cowboy and an Armenian girl are to be married. Title of this episode, Helen of Abingenia. Hope you enjoy, and again, thanks for listening.
Paladin
I've been employed to bring you back, and that's just what I'm going to do. Mr. O'Reilly, like it or not.
Narrator
Have gun will travel. Starring Mr. John dana as paladin. San Francisco, 1875. The Carlton Hotel, headquarters of the man called Paladin.
Paladin
Dancing girl missing. Soma valley's Armenian colony today sadly canceled its annual wine festival because the principal dancer is reported to have eloped.
Samuel Aberginian
Mr. Paladin.
Narrator
Quiet.
Paladin
Here, boy. To have eloped with a passing cowboy. The girl's father, Samuel aberginian, has offered Mr. Paladin $1,000 for her return. Local authorities point out that she is of age and they have no jurisdiction in the matter.
Samuel Aberginian
No. Fire. Fire.
Paladin
Oh, a joke.
Jimmy
Ha ha.
Paladin
You use cigars? I brought them. Oh, wait a minute. Hey, boy, I. I want you to send this wire for me.
Samuel Aberginian
Oh, hey, you leave again Already.
Narrator
There.
Paladin
I haven't had a good shish kebab for years. Rice pilaf, baklava, Armenian cooking.
Samuel Aberginian
Oh, yeah.
Paladin
Now, after you send that, get me two seats for the ballet. Rus. Two weeks from tonight. Well, you saw Mr. Paladin you'll be back. Oh, I'll be back. Better get that wire off right away.
Samuel Aberginian
Yeah. So, Mr. Paladin.
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Jimmy
Yes.
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Paladin
The sun was warm, the sky was clear, and the grapes were harvested. And all that was left was to press them in the vats and wait for them to become wine. An ancient vocation of an ancient, happy people. And their leader was a great giant of a man named Abajinian.
Samuel Aberginian
Stop that frightful music. It soured the grapes before they are crushed.
Helen Aberginian
Husband, Must we mourn forever? We have other daughters.
Samuel Aberginian
Coming to your ear, woman, is a blow for my fist. Do I produce daughters for every passing stranger? Do I beget children to populate foreign villages? Prepare me an answer.
Helen Aberginian
Look, there's another one.
Samuel Aberginian
Huh? You, out.
Paladin
Good afternoon, Mr. Aberdeen.
Samuel Aberginian
Out, I say. Out.
Helen Aberginian
Do we disregard hospitality?
Paladin
My name is Paladin.
Samuel Aberginian
The name is of no importance. You're like the other one. A stranger carrying a weapon. You are Paladin?
Paladin
That's right.
Samuel Aberginian
Oh, woman, where is our hospitality? I have his certificate. We have exchanged words in the telegraph movement.
Paladin
Now, what sort of man Was this O'Reilly?
Samuel Aberginian
Oh, a despoiler of women. An infidel with evil in his heart.
Helen Aberginian
Only a boy, scarcely in his 20s.
Samuel Aberginian
You have no acquaintance with the world, woman. This girl of Oz, Palad, even though she is a dancer to warm men's hearts. She's a lamb, A mouse, an innocent mouse.
Helen Aberginian
She was seen to kiss him the night before.
Paladin
Ah.
Samuel Aberginian
Next comes my fist to your ear. If our helen was sent to kiss him, that was a matter of force. Have you ever seen a snake transfix a mouse with its eye? This, O'Reilly, this is such a reptile. Dangerous. You can overtake them?
Paladin
I think so. Good.
Samuel Aberginian
Both must come back. There must be a marriage.
Narrator
A marriage?
Samuel Aberginian
Custom. They have been together four days and four nights.
Paladin
Of course. Now, what about the fee, Mr. Abiginian?
Samuel Aberginian
Oh, I am a poor man, Paladin. A few acres of worthless vines. But I am generous, Although it ruins me for this simple task. I will pay you $200.
Paladin
The price we discussed was $1,000.
Samuel Aberginian
Too much. Too much.
Paladin
Well, since you say this O'Reilly is dangerous, now I must ask 2,000.
Samuel Aberginian
Oh, have no faith in my description, paladin. I'm a poor farmer. On my knees. Each night, I will send you my prayers for your entire life. My gratitude.
Jimmy
No.
Samuel Aberginian
$500. My last offer.
Paladin
You have a thousand acres, vines, sheep, goats. But for friendship, 1500.
Samuel Aberginian
Paladin, have no faith in these stories of wealth. I have been living above my station. My prayers. The prayers of the entire colony. The thanks of a ruined man. And 800. And I'll have to sell my home and live in a tent to raise it.
Paladin
What can I do? Such generosity. 1200.
Samuel Aberginian
900. The diet of grape leaves. The rest of my life.
Paladin
1,000.
Samuel Aberginian
Done.
Paladin
Good.
Samuel Aberginian
All right, seal the bargain. Watch ye, my friend. Drink of fire. Most men drink one swallow, perhaps two. But Abadinion. Watch. Now. You drink, huh?
Paladin
Of course. Will you pour for me.
Odoo Advertiser
Enough.
Paladin
No. Enough.
Samuel Aberginian
Here is a man. Go, friend. Bring back my daughter.
Paladin
Yes, of course. I followed their trail out of the Soma valley and into the high range lanes. Along the way, I talked to a miner, a cowpuncher, a deputy sheriff. All of them remembered Helen Nabogenian quite well. Hardly anyone could tell me anything about her traveling companion, except that he wore chaps and boots and carried a gun. It was noon of the second day when I first caught sight of them. They were resting in the shade of a grove of cottonwood. I dismounted and walked toward them. They were so busy with their problems, they didn't notice.
Jimmy
Ma', am, I ain't gonna ride my horse to death for you or no other woman.
Helen Aberginian
You don't love me.
Jimmy
You're doggone right I don't. I told you that every foot of the last hundred miles. Now, ma'.
Helen Aberginian
Am.
Jimmy
Ma', Am, look, people just ain't gonna believe you followed me.
Helen Aberginian
But I cannot go home now. You have me compromised.
Jimmy
Now, that's a lie. I ain't laid a hand on you.
Helen Aberginian
At my father's house. You kissed me.
Jimmy
Well, I was just. Funny.
Helen Aberginian
There is something wrong with me. I kiss badly.
Jimmy
Well, that's not.
Helen Aberginian
I am ugly.
Jimmy
I didn't say that. Now, you just ain't my type at all. That's what it is. I don't like to be chaste. It makes a man nervous.
Helen Aberginian
I'm sorry.
Jimmy
Yeah, I often. Here, now, let me get you up.
Samuel Aberginian
Dog gone it.
Helen Aberginian
You see, you see, you kiss me again.
Jimmy
No, you kissed me. Now, you ought to be ashamed.
Helen Aberginian
Ashamed? Is it so bad that I love you? Well, you let me dance for you and change your mind.
Jimmy
No. Now, now, ma'.
Odoo Advertiser
Am.
Jimmy
Ma', Am, if you so much as move an elbow, I'm going to. Yes?
Narrator
How do?
Paladin
Mr. Jeanian?
Helen Aberginian
Yes?
Paladin
My name is Paladin. Your father employed me to bring you back.
Jimmy
Oh, man, am I glad to hear that.
Paladin
Both of you. Mr. O'Reilly.
Jimmy
Well, what's your father want me for?
Paladin
For a wedding to her. To her?
Jimmy
Look, you don't want to take me back for that.
Narrator
Why?
Jimmy
A man wants to feel comfortable with his woman.
Odoo Advertiser
Now, her.
Jimmy
Well, man, just watching her walk makes me feel all edgy. Who wants to spend his life feeling like that?
Paladin
How old are you, mister?
Jimmy
Mister, you can talk till you're blue in the face, guns or no guns. I still ain't going back with you, and I'm not gonna marry her.
Paladin
Maybe it's just as well. A really good girl wouldn't have ridden trail alone with you.
Jimmy
You take that back. She's as good as they come.
Paladin
You seem pretty certain.
Jimmy
I am certain.
Paladin
It sounds like you just might be in love with her.
Samuel Aberginian
You take that back, Joel.
Jimmy
Jimmy.
Helen Aberginian
Oh, Jimmy.
Paladin
Don't worry about him, miss. He's all right. Anyway, he's going back with us.
Helen Aberginian
Oh, Jimmy. Jimmy, open your eyes. Did you hear that, Jimmy? You're going back with us.
Odoo Advertiser
Yeah.
Jimmy
Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm going back. But just remember, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
Helen Aberginian
Oh, dear me. Doggone it.
Jimmy
Anyway.
Odoo Advertiser
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Jimmy
This.
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Narrator
In the 1800s, the Monroe Doctrine dictated that Americans put a wall between themselves and the world. Today, however, times have changed. From city dweller to farmer. Americans know they are part of the world and close to it, and the more they can find out about it, the better. That's why the broadcasts of Edward R. Murrow and Lowell Thomas are so popular. Each of these internationally known newsmen has a wide background in the history, the politics, the economics on which current events are built? Whether you're interested in high level affairs of state abroad, economic developments here at home or the latest advances of science, you'll find them presented clearly and understandably by Murrow and Thomas with the touch of wit or human interest that has won them listeners everywhere in the world. If you're not already addicted to the news as CBS Radio presents it nightly, start this week to follow the broadcasts of Edward R. Murrow and Lowell Thomas. They're both heard Monday through Friday on most of these same CBS stations.
Paladin
The trip back to the Soma Valley was uneventful. The happy bride chatted all the way and the reluctant groom grew more surly and silent as the Aborigine vineyards came into sight. Once there, the father in law to be ordered immediate preparations for the wedding. Aside from half a hundred people scurrying to gather the best foods and wines. Music. These orders also included the business of washing up for all.
Samuel Aberginian
When Amen has been seven days a night with a beautiful woman says that he did not touch her then you are listening to a liar or a fool. Oh, that's nice.
Jimmy
Oh, so now I'm a fool, huh? It's all the thanks I get for being a gentleman.
Samuel Aberginian
Now you getting the top off with a closed scuff.
Paladin
What?
Jimmy
I ain't gonna take no bath and I ain't taking off my clothes.
Paladin
Better do it, Jimmy. What? Well, okay.
Jimmy
These people ain't got no right to pull off my clothes and dunk me in here.
Samuel Aberginian
Even a barbarian bath's foot is on matters.
Jimmy
And I told you, I'm just marrying her to protect your reputation, that's all.
Samuel Aberginian
That's all.
Jimmy
You can lead a horse to water into the tub. Hey, so don't pour that water on me now. The first time I ever took a.
Paladin
Bath in the middle of the week.
Samuel Aberginian
There is a woman at the beginning of all great things.
Narrator
Woman.
Samuel Aberginian
Heaven's best gift. You're most delightful of God's creatures.
Jimmy
Can I have a towel?
Samuel Aberginian
Are you clean?
Jimmy
Cleaner than a new late age.
Samuel Aberginian
And here is a towel. Yeah, I'm just getting time for the business of the wedding.
Paladin
Here.
Jimmy
Don't pour that on me.
Samuel Aberginian
Oil for fragrance. Rub this into your skin.
Helen Aberginian
Very pleasant.
Jimmy
Oh, I won't do no such thing. Oh, it smells sweet. Enough to catch flies.
Paladin
It's customary, O'Reilly.
Jimmy
Ain't I got a right to have customs too?
Samuel Aberginian
Rabbit in. Good.
Paladin
You know something, O'Reilly? You make quite a picture.
Jimmy
You. Oh, Dog gone it.
Paladin
Kebab. It's not often a man sits At a table like this. Rice Pilaf, Kescek, Quebacle. O'Reilly here gotta try something.
Jimmy
No, no, no. Time I was moving along, I went through getting married, didn't I?
Paladin
Mm, you did. But a smart man doesn't ride off at night hungry.
Jimmy
Yeah, well, I tell you, I ain't staying. Now, I done my part.
Paladin
No one's keeping you. Goodbye. Yeah, what's the matter.
Jimmy
Dog, don't it? I can't run off without saying goodbye to the girl, can I? I mean, after all, just. I just married her.
Paladin
Oh, it's just a formality. It's like you said. You can lead a horse to water. Well, goodbye, Riley.
Jimmy
Now, how come all of a sudden you want me to leave, huh? Why is that?
Paladin
Well, you don't seem to care about the girl. Maybe it's just as well. You don't wait and see her dance.
Narrator
Doggone it.
Jimmy
She can just dance her fool head off. I'll be too busy eating. I'll just be too busy to notice. What is this foreign stuff here?
Paladin
I don't know. Mighty good, though. Here, here, try this.
Jimmy
Hey. Clearly got some good cooks around here.
Paladin
You know something, O'Reilly? Bride. Bride always supervises the preparation of the wedding foods. Yes, she does. It's customary. Is that fact?
Jimmy
Well, now, you know, just because they don't do things like my people. See, I. I got me four brothers. Well, that I don't mean. Ain't real down to earth folks, now, does he?
Paladin
You sound like you're beginning to grow up.
Jimmy
Well, I'm as growed up as the next man. Just cuz that little abenian gal gets me.
Samuel Aberginian
I mean, what?
Jimmy
Doggone it, women don't chase men.
Paladin
I'm not too sure.
Jimmy
What I mean is, a man don't want a wife that chases him. Well, as Helen man, if I live with her. Look, look, Mr. Paladin, just watching her makes me nervous.
Paladin
That so? Yes, sir.
Jimmy
Yes, sir. I mean, my stomach flops around, my knees shake, doggone it, she makes me feel downright miserable. A man wants to feel kind of calm, comfortable with women.
Paladin
I think they're getting ready for her dance now.
Jimmy
Yeah, well, I. I guess I ought to be.
Paladin
Mosey O'Reilly. You know, ancient Armenia was at the crossroads of the world. The origins of her dances are lost in antiquity. A flavor of ancient Greece, Persia, perhaps even Manoa. As such dances, O'Reilly, are a language. The most understandable, universal, compelling language of mankind.
Jimmy
Well, maybe so, Paladin, but I'm just.
Paladin
And there's your bride. Dancing for you. Well, she's Cana.
Jimmy
What's that she's wearing?
Paladin
A veil from Persia. Leaving Mr. Orlando?
Jimmy
Mr. Paladin? That's my wife.
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Narrator
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Paladin
The happy bride and the no longer reluctant groom disappeared from the festivities. Custom it was also custom for the festivities to continue the singing. The Dancing, the eating. I continued with them. But there came a time when it was time to settle the business of hand.
Samuel Aberginian
You say what? Dowling, Dowling, listen to him. Listen to him. My people, now, I am a liberal man. If he wishes to live with my daughter. But you're mad if you think that opportunity.
Paladin
No dowry, no son in law. Your own customer, Virginia.
Samuel Aberginian
I spit on custom. You think I would pay so much as a single goat to mix his blood with mine?
Paladin
You offer to let your daughter carry to marriage her bedding and clothing? Such generosity should be written on the side of Mount Ararat for all to see. All right.
Samuel Aberginian
Perhaps I could spare a goat for milk.
Paladin
A goat for milk? Oh, he can spare a goat for milk. Beside, Aberginian, the poorest Arab in a mud hut is a caliph who dispenses gifts of amber and silver.
Andrew Rines
No.
Paladin
Beside, a serpent becomes an animal of great stature and dignity. And a toad becomes an animal of great beauty.
Samuel Aberginian
Perhaps I can afford an acre of vines. I'm a poor man.
Paladin
An acre of vines. Now, did you. Did you hear that? An acre of vines. Come, let us circulate the news of such generosity. A messenger to the old country. A runner to the next town.
Samuel Aberginian
All right, all right. Five acres of wives and two of three.
Paladin
No, 10 and five. 10 and five.
Samuel Aberginian
With a house.
Odoo Advertiser
No.
Samuel Aberginian
50 sheep nest.
Paladin
10 goats. Six carrying milk.
Helen Aberginian
All right, agreed.
Samuel Aberginian
Paladin, stop there. You ruin an old man, I hope. That boy's rotten. His blood.
Paladin
His parents had five sons.
Samuel Aberginian
Five. Well, a busy day, Mr. Paladin. But perhaps not a bad one. Five, you say?
Paladin
He told me so himself.
Samuel Aberginian
Then perhaps a grandson, huh? A glass of orche for luck?
Paladin
I'd be delighted, Mr. Abadian. Hey boy.
Samuel Aberginian
Oh, Mr. Paladin.
Paladin
How happy to see you. Did you get me the tickets to the ballets russe?
Samuel Aberginian
Hey boy did not forget.
Paladin
Yeah, that's fine.
Narrator
Hey boy.
Paladin
I'll just.
Helen Aberginian
Oh, I am so sorry. So clumsy of me. I knocked your tickets away.
Paladin
Perfectly all right.
Helen Aberginian
Those are our ballet tickets.
Paladin
Oh, you're with the ballet russe.
Helen Aberginian
You will see me dance. Then you enjoy the ballet, Mr. Paladin?
Paladin
Madame, as a matter of fact, I do. I saw your company in paris last year.
Samuel Aberginian
So?
Paladin
And I'm just returning from a visit where I saw the armenian wine dance. Beautifully performed.
Helen Aberginian
Ah, yes, I have heard of that dance. I should enjoy attempting it someday. But where is there such a teacher? Why do you look at me so?
Paladin
Doggone.
Samuel Aberginian
What?
Paladin
In my imagination, I pictured you performing that dance. Madame, may I offer you a cognac Delighted.
Odoo Advertiser
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Narrator
Have Gun Will Travel, created by Herb Meadow and Sam Rolfe, is produced and directed by Norman McDonald and stars as John Dana as Paladin with Ben Wright as Hey Boy. Tonight's story was written by Gene Roddenberry and adapted for radio by John Dawson. Featured in the cast were Lawrence Dobkin, Dick Krena, Lillian Byeth, Virginia Christine and Lynn Allen. Hugh Douglas speaking. Join us again next week for have Gun Will Travel.
Andrew Rines
This has been a presentation of otrwesterns.com and we hope you enjoyed. Please take some time to like and rate our shows in your favorite podcast application. Follow us on Facebook by going to otrwesterns.com Facebook join in the conversation by going to otrwesterns.Com Discord and don't forget to send us an email. Podcasttrwesterns.com this episode's copyright under the Attribution Non Commercial Share Like Copyright. For more information go to otrwesterns.com copyright have a great day and again, thanks for listening.
Host: Andrew Rhynes
Episode Title: Helen of Abajinian | Have Gun Will Travel (Originally aired 01-04-59)
Release Date: January 12, 2026
This episode of Old Time Radio Westerns features a digitally restored radio play: "Helen of Abajinian," from the classic series Have Gun Will Travel. The story, set in the late 19th century, revolves around the legendary gun-for-hire Paladin, who is tasked by Samuel Abajinian to retrieve his runaway daughter Helen, who has eloped with a young Irish cowboy named Jimmy O’Reilly. The narrative delves into the cultural customs, clashing personalities, and the comedic awkwardness that ensues from the proposed marriage. The episode is rich with cultural references, negotiation banter, and ultimately, the transformative power of love and tradition in the Wild West.
The episode maintains a tongue-in-cheek tone, blending dry humor (primarily through Paladin and Samuel), melodramatic family exchanges, and folksy awkwardness from Jimmy. The dialogue is rich with cultural references, gentle parodies of tradition, and warm, understated lessons about love and compromise.
This summary provides a comprehensive look at “Helen of Abajinian,” preserving the episode’s lively spirit, main plot beats, and best lines for new and returning fans alike.