Ologies with Alie Ward

Episode: Attention-Deficit Neuropsychology (ADHD) Part 2 Encore

Guests: Jessica McCabe (“How to ADHD”), Renee Brooks (“Black Girl Lost Keys”), Dr. Jayla Osborne (Cognitive Neuroscientist), Dr. Tiara Moore, Dr. Adam Becker, and more

Date: December 31, 2025

Episode Overview

This encore episode dives deeper into ADHD, particularly the lived experiences, science, strategies, and systemic barriers faced by adults—especially those historically overlooked, such as women and people of color. Host Alie Ward brings in experts, prominent advocates, and researchers who navigate the world with ADHD, offering honest accounts, analogies, advice, and optimism about neurodivergence.

Where Part 1 focused heavily on diagnosis and clinical science (with Dr. Russell Barkley), Part 2 is about practical reality: living, thriving, and advocating with ADHD. The guests discuss everything from self-acceptance and boundaries to medication, workarounds, and rethinking “success” in a neurotypical world.

Featured Guests

• Jessica McCabe: Creator of “How to ADHD” (YouTube), author, ADHD advocate, and new mom.
• Renee Brooks: Writer, ADHD coach, and founder of “Black Girl Lost Keys.”
• Dr. Jayla Osborne: Neuroscientist specializing in attention, cognitive control, and ADHD research at University of Michigan & Northeastern.
• Dr. Tiara Moore: Forensic ecologist, science communicator.
• Dr. Adam Becker: Astrophysicist, science author (ADHDer).
• Cameos: Dr. Rafael Boccamazza, Dr. Ned Hallowell, and more.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why a Part 2? Lived Experience & New Perspectives ([04:04], [08:32])

• Alie Ward: "It’s incredibly validating to learn about the hard science and the gravity of ADHD, but I wanted also to chat with folks out there documenting their lived experience…trying to bridge the gaps between ADHD brains and a world built for neurotypicals."
• ADHD is misunderstood as a disorder for rambunctious boys; it spans all ages, genders, and backgrounds.

2. The Diagnosis Journey & Barriers ([08:32]–[14:40])

• Renee Brooks: Learned about her ADHD while being treated for depression, after offhandedly mentioning "that ADHD thing" from childhood. Barriers to diagnosis include lack of information (before social media) and cultural/racial dismissal.
• On barriers for women and people of color:
  • “A little Black boy is going to be more likely to be diagnosed with oppositional defiance or conduct disorder versus a little white boy, who’s going to be more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD.” ([15:12], Jessica McCabe)
  • Advice: Seek out culturally competent specialists and those truly versed in ADHD.

3. Pandemic “Spike” in Adult Diagnoses ([12:25])

• Life changes (COVID, homeschooling, remote work) pushed adults past their executive function coping threshold, revealing undiagnosed ADHD.
• Many doctors still use outdated standards, e.g., "How did you do in elementary school?" ([14:01])

4. Intersectionality: Gender, Race, and Misdiagnosis ([15:51], [17:07], [29:13])

• Dr. Tiara Moore: ADHD is often dismissed as “bad behavior” in Black communities, with therapy/diagnosis frowned upon or simply overlooked.
• Dr. Osborne: Many people, especially those of color or with fewer resources, lack access to evaluation or information.

5. Neuroscience of Distractibility & Cognitive Control ([19:41], [23:53])

• Dr. Jayla Osborne: Researches types of distractibility (external vs internal), inhibitory control, and race bias in ADHD perceptions.
• Using tasks like the flanker and Simon tasks to parse out attention and control.
• Key research: Delays in goal-directed processing are a factor in ADHD distractibility ([25:35]).

6. ADHD & Autism: Overlap, Distinction, and the Analogy of Brain “Operating Systems” ([32:25]–[35:57])

• Jessica McCabe:
  • ADHD can sit “in the middle” between neurotypicals and autistic folks.
  • Analogy: Neurotypicals = Windows, ADHD = Mac, Autism = Linux. “If you try to use this operating system like it’s a different one, you’d think it was broken.”
• Neurodiversity is valuable; not all brains should or can be reprogrammed to “fit.”

7. Reframing ADHD: Strengths, Self-Acceptance, and Internalized Ableism ([35:57], [40:59])

• Thriving environments are creative, high-intensity, or hands-on (“hunter in a world of farmers” hypothesis), but society remains built for “farmers.”
• Jessica McCabe: "…I realized, oh crap, I’m successful. But I still have ADHD…I realized it’s not only not possible to overcome your ADHD, it’s not even necessary."
• The “ADHD tax”: cost of self-management, self-reproach, and societal expectations ([41:14]).

8. On Self-Advocacy, Boundaries, and “Guarding Your Yes” ([07:55], [60:37])

• Jessica: “Boundaries is something I am learning. How to say no. Renee Brooks…has a great phrase: guard your yes with your life.”
• Renee: Clinicians are experts you hire—if you’re not respected as a partner in care, find a new one.

9. Medication & Strategies: It’s Complicated ([51:52], [55:01])

• Medication can take trial and error; 80% find it helpful, but it’s not a magic fix; non-stimulant options exist.
• “Pills don’t teach skills.” Some may need financial aid for meds or struggle with restrictive refill rules.
• Practical tip: Avoid vitamin C and acidic foods, which reduce stimulant efficacy. Take with protein instead.

10. Workarounds, Tools, and Accommodations ([70:59], [71:26], [74:09])

• Common aids include fidget toys, time timers (Pomodoro method), externalizing reminders, and delegation.
• “The goal is not to get perfect on all these strategies and then not have ADHD anymore. The ultimate goal…is to live a life in line with your values in which you are valued for who you are and what you contribute.” ([67:13], Jessica)
• Embrace that needing help is okay; don’t fight your brain, support it.

11. Relationships, Social Support, and Executive Function ([85:50], [88:11], [90:40])

• ADHD is not a “moral failing” or a choice; “executive function is not a choice.”
• Partners should not “parent” each other, but support and collaborate. Community and understanding are vital.
• “It’s heartbreaking because often ADHDers are trying harder than their neurotypical peers, and they’re just facing more obstacles. But because those obstacles are invisible, it doesn’t look like that.” ([88:11], Jessica)

12. Advocacy, Representation & Resources ([26:31], [67:13])

• Growing landscape of ADHD resources for Black individuals and adults (e.g., Black Girl Lost Keys, CHADD, ADDA).
• Emphasis on the need for systemic, not just individual, solutions: “I shouldn’t also have to build all of my own ramps, right?” (re: access/accommodation).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Lived Experience Revelations

“It’s like finding out you were not the person that you thought you were…like finding out that…you’re secretly a princess or something. You have to spin your entire life in the context of being this person you did not know you were.”
—Renee Brooks ([10:38])

On Diagnosis Tidal Wave

“There is usually a point, shortly before they get diagnosed, where the demands on their executive function, the demands that society is putting on them, are too much for whatever coping mechanisms they’ve been skating by with so far.”
—Jessica McCabe ([12:25])

On Systemic Inequality

“There’s research…a little black boy is going to be more likely to be diagnosed with conduct disorder versus a little white boy…who’s going to be more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD.”
—Jessica McCabe ([15:12])

On The Operating System Analogy

“ADHD brains are kind of like Macs…autistic brains…like Linux…on any of these operating systems, if you try to use it like a different one, you’d think it was broken.”
—Jessica McCabe ([34:03])

Self-Acceptance vs. Conformity

“I realized it’s not only not possible to completely overcome your ADHD, it’s not even necessary.”
—Jessica McCabe ([40:59])

On Medication

“We don’t know yet which meds are gonna work for which brains…It’s a process of trial and error. But medication should not have more side effects than they’re worth.”
—Jessica McCabe ([55:01])

On Building a Supportive World

“I shouldn’t also have to build all of my own ramps…We need to live in a world where we’re allowed to use [our tools], and that we’re supported in using them, and it’s not completely falling to us.”
—Jessica McCabe ([68:39])

Humor and Relatable Moments

• Bubble bath hyperfocus: “My meds kicked in while I was in that bubble bath…and for the next four hours, I was working in my bubble bath because I couldn’t stop focusing long enough to get out of the tub.” —Jessica ([58:11])
• On notebooks: "You think 75 cents was gonna solve a problem that I’ve spent thousands of dollars and countless hours to resolve?" —Renee ([74:43])

Closing Insight on Perfectionism

“There’s a quote I love, I think it’s John Steinbeck: And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good…If we shift to thinking about winning the game, we have to take a lot of shots, and we’re gonna miss some, and that’s okay.”
—Jessica McCabe ([96:41])

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• [04:04] Intro to guests and purpose of Part 2
• [08:32] Renee Brooks’ journey & diagnosis barriers
• [14:01] Outdated ADHD diagnostic criteria in adults
• [15:12] Race and gender disparities in diagnosis
• [19:41] Jayla Osborne’s research on ADHD distractibility
• [23:53] Jayla’s postdoctoral updates and science of cognitive control
• [29:13] Systemic barriers to ADHD care
• [32:25] ADHD/autism overlap and “operating system” analogy
• [41:14] The “ADHD tax,” self-esteem, and systemic burden
• [51:52] Medication challenges and strategies
• [67:13] Goals: functioning aligned with values, not erasing ADHD
• [74:09] Time timer & chunking tasks (Pomodoro method)
• [79:22] Self-care basics: sleep, eating, managing daily life
• [85:50] Relationships, ADHD, and acceptance
• [88:11] Advice on supporting ADHD partners/loved ones
• [91:27] Key message: “accepting people as is” — the necessity of societal acceptance
• [96:41] Embracing imperfection & thriving as you are

Actionable Tips, Strategies, and Resources

• For Individuals:

  • Work with your strengths (creative, hands-on, flexible environments).
  • Use hacks: timers, fidget toys, external reminders, meal/work prep.
  • “Guard your yes,” set boundaries, and seek grace in setbacks.
  • If resonating with ADHD content, seek a professional for assessment ([42:25]).

• For Allies/Families:

  • Learn what executive function is and isn’t; ADHD is not a choice ([81:51]).
  • Adjust expectations; don’t judge motivation by outcome.
  • Offer support without “parenting” your loved one.

• Resources Mentioned:

  • Books: “How to ADHD: An Insider's Guide…,” “You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?,” “Taking Charge of ADHD,” “The ADHD Effect on Marriage”
  • Organizations: CHADD, ADDA, FailSafe-ERA
  • Tools: How to ADHD YouTube, Black Girl Lost Keys blog/shop, fidget tools, time timers, “brick” phone lockout app

Closing Thought

Alie Ward:

“Give yourself grace and accept all the creative and wonderful ways your brain works…You’re not alone, you’re not a fuck-up, you’re special, you’re different, it’s cool…You can work in small defined chunks of time, take breaks, and don’t be afraid of imperfection or success.” ([96:41]–[99:04])

Jessica McCabe:

“Now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”

Find the guests and resources in the show notes and visit their websites and platforms for community, coaching, and information.