Fernita Tolson (17:27)
And it's kind of like reading the rules for a board game. It's annoying until you get how it works. So the Constitution says, all bills for raising revenue shall originate in the house of Representatives. But the senate may propose or concur with amendments, as on other bills. Every bill which shall have passed the house of representatives and the Senate shall, before it becomes a law, be presented to the president of the United States. If he approve, he shall sign it, but if not he, he shall return it with his objections to that house in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the objections at large on their journal and proceed to reconsider it. Now, after such reconsideration, two thirds of that house shall agree to pass the bill. It shall be sent together with the objections to the other House by which it shall likewise be reconsidered. And IF approved by 2/3 of that house, it shall become a law. But in all such cases, the votes of both houses shall be determined by yeas and nays, and the names of the persons voting for and against the bill shall be entered on the journal of each house respectively. If any bill shall not be returned by the president within 10 days, Sundays excepted, after it shall have been presented to him, the same shall be law in like manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their adjournment, prevent its return, in which case it shall not be law. I'll explain that in a second. Now, every order, resolution, or vote to which the concurrence of the senate and house of Representatives may be necessary, except on a question of adjournment, shall be presented to the president of the United States, and before the same shall take effect shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by 2/3 of the senate and the House of Representatives according to the rules and limitations prescribed in the case of a bill. So what is that gobbledygook? So bills have to pass the house and the Senate, but all bills have to pass both houses of Congress in the exact same form. Same words. Now, bills that pass both. Both houses are sent to the president. The president can either sign the bill making it a law or nope, it. Yeah, no. In which case it gets kicked back to Congress. And if two thirds of the folks in both houses. Yes, it. It supersedes that presidential. If the president ignores it and doesn't veto or sign it, it becomes a law after 10 days. But if the Congress adjourns and the president doesn't sign it, it's vetoed. Got it. Cool. Let's move on to Section 8, Article 1. The Congress shall have the power to lay and collect taxes, duties, imposts and excises, to pay the debts and provide for the common defense and general welfare of the United States. But all duties, imposts and excises shall be uniform throughout the United States. To borrow money on the credit of the United States. To regulate commerce with foreign nations and among the several states and with the Indian tribes. To establish a uniform rule of naturalization and uniform laws on the subject of bankruptcies throughout the United States. To coin money, regulate the value thereof and of foreign coin and fix the standard of weights and measures. To provide for punishment of counterfeiting the securities and current coin of the United States. To establish post offices and post roads to promote the progress of science and useful arts by securing for limited times to authors and inventors the exclusive right to their respective writings and discoveries. To constitute tribunals inferior to the supreme court. To define and punish piracies and felonies committed on the high seas and offenses against the law of nations. To declare war, grant letters of mark and reprisal and make rules concerning captures on land and water. To raise and support support armies. But no appropriation of money to that use shall be for longer term than two years. To provide and maintain a navy. To make rules for the government and regulation of the land and naval forces. To provide for calling forth the militia to execute the laws of the union, suppress insurrections and repel invasions. To provide for organizing, arming and disciplining the militia and for governing such part of them as may be employed in the service of the United States Reserving to the states respectively the appointment of the officers and the authority of training the militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress. To exercise exclusive legislation in all cases whatsoever over such district not exceeding 10 miles square as may by session of particular states and the acceptance of Congress become the seat of the government of the United States. And to exercise like authority over all places purchased by the consent of the legislature of the state in which the same shall be for the erection of forts, magazines, arsenals, dockyards, and other needful buildings, and to make all laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into execution the foregoing powers and all other powers vested by this Constitution in the government of the United States or in any department or officer thereof. So what does that mean? Congress can establish an army and navy. They can make some post offices, they can make some courts. They can declare wars, and they can raise cash. Fighting laws, money, postcard stamps. All the essential ingredients for a Nation. Now, Section 9 coming up, puts limits on Congress. So Section 9, Article 1. The Migration or importation of such persons as any of the states now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the year 1808, but a tax or duty may be imposed on such importation not exceeding $10 for each person. The privilege of the writ of habeas corpus shall not be suspended unless when in cases of rebellion or invasion, the public safety may require it. More on that in a second. No bill of attainder or ex post facto law shall be passed. No capitation or other direct tax shall be laid unless in proportion to the census or enumeration herein before directed to be taken. No tax or duty shall be laid on articles exported from any state. No preference shall be given by any regulation of commerce or revenue to the ports of one state over those of another. Nor shall vessels bound to or from one state be obliged to enter clear or pay duties in another. No money shall be drawn from the treasury but in consequence of appropriations made by law and a regular statement and account of the receipts and expenditures of all public money shall be published from time to time. No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States, and no person holding any office of profit or trust under them shall, without the consent of Congress, accept of any present emolument, office or title of any kind whatsoever from any king, prince, or foreign state. Now, this next part's in the news a lot. No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States, and no person holding any office of profit or trust under them shall, without the consent of Congress, accept of any present emolument, office or title of any kind whatsoever from any king, prince, or foreign state. Okay, so what does all that mean? So the writ of habeas corpus can't be suspended. And I'm like, okay, I don't know what that means. So I don't even know what a writ of habeas corpus was. And truth be told, I had to look up how to pronounce that, but it sounds like a Norwegian metal band or a horror movie set in a medieval village. I looked it up and one legal glossary says that it translates in Latin to you shall have the body in court. And it means that it's something used to bring a prisoner or other detainee, like an institutionalized mental patient, before the court to determine if the person's imprisonment or detention is lawful, so that can't be suspended. Also, laws after the fact are also a no, as are state preferences Money lifted from the treasury without a law, because duh. And also, let's not give ourselves title like the Queen of Ohio or the Marquis du Bakersfield. Not in this dang country you don't. Moving on Article 1, Section 10 so no state shall enter into any treaty, alliance, or confederation, grant letters of marque and reprisal coin money, emit bills of credit, make anything but gold and silver coin a tender in payment of debts, pass any bill of attainder ex post facto law or law impairing the obligation of contracts, or grant any title of nobility. No State shall, without the consent of Congress, lay any imposts or duties on imports or exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing its inspection laws and the net produce of all duties and imposts laid by any State on imports or exports shall be for the use of the treasury of the United States, and all such laws shall be subject to the revision and control of the Congress. No State shall, without the consent of Congress, lay any duty of tonnage, keep troops or ships of war in time of peace, enter into any agreement or compact with another state or with a foreign power, or engage in war unless actually invaded or in such imminent danger as will not admit of delay. So that means states can't make navies or declare war. They can't make their own money or otherwise just kind of wild out as outlined above. States can, however, encourage residents to get thinly drawn outlines of their borders tattooed on personages of residence as a pledge of allegiance to their United States territory of birth. It's not a rule, but y' all know I love a tattoo image search and I just googled state tattoo and I will say California, home to what some might call justified narcissism, seem to be the most prominent in all of the state tattoo returns, with Texas edging in as maybe a close second. But I just want to give some major creative points to the folks who got the entire US map tattooed on them with just empty state boundaries filled in as they're visited that's legitimately. That's hella cute. It's hella cute. But the biggest kudos goes to the man on RateMyInk.com who submitted for our enjoyment and our judgment, his state's outline situated in his moist, hairy armpit and emblazoned with the script Garden State. So, New Jersey, you win. So, did you like Article one of the Constitution? Great. Let's do Article two next and establish the executive or presidential branch of the government. Again, every time you hear the word he, just replace it in your mind with they. Remember, things only change when we make some noise. So Article two, Section one. The executive power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his office during the term of four years, and together with the Vice President chosen for the same term, be elected as follows. Each state shall appoint, in such a manner as the legislature thereof may direct, a number of electors in equal to the whole number of senators and representatives, to which the state may be entitled in the Congress but no senator or representative, or person holding an office of trust or profit under the United States shall be appointed an elector. Now this all was changed later. But the electors shall meet in their respective states, and vote by ballot for two persons, of whom one shall least not be an inhabitant of the same state with themselves and they shall make a list of all the persons voted for, and of the number of votes for each, which list they shall sign and certify and transmit, sealed to the seat of the government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate. The President of the Senate shall, in the presence of the Senate and house representative, open all the certificates, and the votes shall then be counted. The person having the greatest number of votes shall be the President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of electors appointed and if there be more than one who have such a majority, and have an equal number of votes, then the house of Representatives shall immediately choose by ballot one of them for president and if no person have a majority, then from the five highest on the list, the said house shall in like manner choose the President but in choosing the President, the votes shall be taken by states the representative the representation from each state having one vote. A quorum for this purpose shall consist of a member or members from two thirds of the Senate, and a majority of all the states shall be necessary to a choice. In every case after the choice of the President, the person having the greatest number of votes of the electors shall be vice President. A quorum for this purpose shall consist of A member or members from 2/3 of the Senate and a majority of all the States shall be necessary to a choice. Now this part is cute. In every case, after the choice of the President, the person having the greatest number of votes of the electors shall be the Vice President. But if there should remain two or more who have equal votes, the Senate shall choose from them by ballot. The Vice President, the Congress may determine the time of choosing the electors and the day on which they shall give their votes. Which day shall be the same throughout the United States. No person, except a natural born citizen or a citizen of the United States at the time of the adoption of this Constitution shall be eligible to the office of President. Neither shall any person be eligible to that office who shall not have attained the age of 35 years and been 14 years of resident within the United States. It continues, and this little part's going to be changed later. But in case of the removal of the President from office, or of his death, resignation or. Or inability to discharge the powers and duties of the said office, the same shall devolve on the Vice President. And the Congress may by law provide for the case of removal, death, resignation or inability, both of the President and the Vice President, declaring what officer shall then act as President, and such officer shall act accordingly until the disability be removed or a President shall be elected again. Spoiler alert. We'll address that in an amendment later. Now, the President shall, at stated time receive for his services a compensation which shall neither be increased nor diminished during the period for which he shall have been elected. And he shall not receive within that period any other emolument from the United States or any of them. Before he enter on the execution of his office, he shall take the following oath or affirmation. I do solemnly swear or affirm that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States. To recap, Article 2, Section 1, which was a whopper. There is a pres. There is a vice Pres. And the electoral college picks them both. The number of electors in each state is the number of Senators, which is two, plus the number of House Reps. Which depends on the population. Now the founding fathers thought that this would protect us from a tyrant manipulating the minds of the people. And also the slave holding south used it as a way to attain electoral votes by counting each human they owned as 3/5 of a person. Yet of course not allowing those people to vote. So more on all this, when we get to the 12th amendment also. Back then, the vice President was runner up of the race. Kind of like Justin Guarini or Clay Aiken or Adam Lambert. Just runners up on a long running America's most trusted person on stage contest we call the United States. But what can the President do? I'm glad you asked. That's why there's section two of Article two. The president shall be commander in chief of the army and navy of the United States and of the militia of the several states. When called into the actual service of the United States, he may require the opinion in writing of the principal officer in each of the executive departments upon any subject relating to the duties of their respective offices. And he shall have power to grant reprieves and pardons for offenses against the United States except in cases of impeachment. He shall have the power, by and with the advice and consent of the Senate to make treaties, provided 2/3 of the senators present concur. And he shall nominate. And by and with the advice and consent of the Senate shall appoint ambassadors, other public ministers and consuls, judges of the supreme court, and all other officers of the United States whose appointments are not herein otherwise provided for and which shall be established by law. But the Congress may by law vest the appointment of such inferior officers as they think proper in the President alone and in the courts of law or in the heads of departments. The President shall have the power to fill up all vacancies that may happen during the recess of the Senate by granting commissions which shall expire at the end of their next session. So what does all this mean? The President, commander in chief of the armed forces and of the militia of all the states. President. Can pardon criminals, can pick judges and SCOTUS members, and also makes treaties. Another perk. There's a bowling alley in the White House. Did you know that? So if you like influencing millions of people's civil liberties for decades to come. And also bowling, maybe the office of the President is for you. You think you're going bowling now? Now let's get to section three of article two. More about the President. He shall, from time to time give to the Congress information of the State of the Union and recommend to their consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient. He may on extraordinary occasions convene both houses or either of them, and in case of disagreement between them with respect to the time of adjournment, he may adjourn them to such time as he shall think proper. He shall receive ambassadors and other public ministers. He shall Take care that the laws be faithfully executed and shall commission all the officers of the United States. So what does Section 3 mean? Duties of the leader of America include Give a State of the Union address. Why don't you hang out with some ambassadors, give advice to Congress if they need it, make sure the laws are carried out and generally, please don't be an evil turd. I added the last part. You did. Speaking of, this next article talks about a little thing called impeachment. Section four says the President, Vice president and all civil officers of the United States shall be removed from office on impeachment for and conviction of treason, bribery or other high crimes and misdemeanors. So though we like to think of impeachment as 300 million people breaking up with you all at once, it's actually just the first half of the dumping process. Now Andrew Johnson, the VP who slid into the presidential role when Lincoln was assassinated, was both super racist and also impeached. But he stayed in office because of one vote in the Senate and he escaped the consequences that 2/3 Senate Majority would have brought on. Oh, Bill Clinton was also impeached for lying about being a predatory saxophone wielding horn dog. But I want to say one thing to the American people. I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again. I did not have sexual relations with that woman. But he was acquitted and he remained in office. So just in case you think impeachment is, is the finish line, just know it's really like the starting blocks, but it's still exciting. Hey, let's talk about the judicial branch. Okay, let's. Article 3, Section 1 of the Constitution says the judicial power of the United States shall be vested in one supreme court and in such inferior courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The judges both of the supreme and inferior courts shall hold their officers during good behavior and shall at stated times receive for their services a compensation which shall not be diminished during their continuance in office. So SCOD is for life and they can't get a pay cut while they still have the job. Now this next part is about the kinds of cases they'll hear. Section 2 of Article 3 says the Judicial power shall extend to all cases in law and equity arising under this Constitution, the laws of the United States and treaties made which shall be made under the authority to all cases affecting ambassadors, other public ministers and consults, to all cases of admiralty and maritime jurisdiction to controversies to which the United States will be a party to controversies between Two or more states, between a state and a citizen of another State, between citizens of different states, between citizens of the same state claiming lands under grants of different states, and between a State or. Or the citizens thereof, and foreign States, citizens or subjects. In all cases affecting ambassadors, other public ministers and consuls, and those in which a state shall be a party, the supreme court shall have original jurisdiction. In all other cases before mentioned, the supreme court shall have appellate jurisdiction both as to law and fact, with such exceptions and under such regulations as the Congress shall make. The trial of all crimes, except in cases of impeachment, shall be by jury, and such trial shall be held in the State where the said crimes shall have been committed. But when not committed within any state, the trial shall be at such a place or places as the Congress may by law have directed. So what does this Section 2 mean? The SCOTUS hear some federal cases and and others by appeal and in criminal court. We'll leave it up to a jury now. Spoiler alert. This will be changed via Article 11 in 1795. More on that later. Hey, what's treason? Oh, it's this. Section three says treason against the United States shall consist only in levying war against them or in adhering to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort. No person shall be convicted of treason unless on the testimony of two witnesses to the same overt act or on confession in open court. The Congress shall have power to declare the punishment of treason, but no attainder of treason shall work corruption of blood or forfeiture, except during the life of the person attained. That's treason. Article 4 is about the states. And what happens in Vegas does not stay in Vegas if you're married there. It applies to the other states. And if you run away to one state after committing a crime, they shall drag ye arse back to the state in which thou hast crimed. So Article 4, Section 1 says, Full faith and credit shall be given to each state. Full faith and credit shall be given in each State to the public acts, records, and judicial proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general laws prescribe the manner in which such acts, records, and proceedings shall be proved and the effect thereof. Section 2 says, the citizens of each state shall be entitled to all privileges and immunities of citizens in several states. So a person charged in any state with treason or felony or another crime, who shall flee from justice and be found in another state, shall, on demand of the executive authority of the state from which he fled, be delivered upon to be removed to the State, having Jurisdiction of the crime. No person held to service or labor in one state under the laws. If you run away to one state after committing the crime, they'll drag you back. Now, this last part. No person held to service or labor in one state under the laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in consequence of any law or regulation therein be discharged from such service or labor, but shall be delivered upon on claim of the party to whom such service or labor may be due. Now, that last clause was about fugitive slaves. In case you forgot that this was written in a time when only white men made laws and owning people was okay by the law. This next section is about new states. Section three says, new states may be admitted by the Congress into this union, but no new state shall be formed or erected within the jurisdiction of any other state nor any state be formed by the junction of two or more states or parts of states without the consent of the legislatures of the states concerned as well as of the Congress. The Congress shall have the power to dispose of and make all needful rules and regulations respecting the territory or other property belonging to the United States. And nothing in this constitution shall be so construed as to prejudice any claims of the United States or of any particular state. Now, Section 4 says, the United States shall guarantee to every state in this union a republican form of government and shall protect each of them against invasion and on application of the legislature or of the executive when the legislature cannot be convened against domestic violence. So that section meant reminder everyone, we have a democracy here. No kings or queens. If anyone Fs with one state, the federal government will clap back in that state's honor. Okay, so how do we change this Constitution? That is what Article 5 is all about. Article 5 says, the Congress, whenever 2/3 of both houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose amendments to this constitution or on the application of the legislature of 2/3 of the several states shall call a convention for proposing amendments which in either case shall be valid to all intents and purposes as part of this constitution when ratified by the legislatures of 3/4 of the states or by conventions in 3/4 thereof as one or the other mode of ratification may be proposed by the Congress. Provided that no amendment which may be made prior to the year 1808 shall in any manner affect the first and fourth clauses in the ninth section of the first article and that no state without its consent shall be deprived of its equal suffrage in the senate. So that article 6 out of 7 says that the Constitution is the laws by which we make the other laws and that before taking office you have to super promise via oath you're not going to dick over our country. Now the last article in this main constitution that was put out in 1789, Article 7 says, all debts contracted and engagements entered into before the adoption of this Constitution shall be as valid against the United States under this Constitution as under the Confederation. This Constitution and the laws of the United States which shall be made in pursuance thereof, and all treaties made or which shall be made under the authority of the United States shall be the supreme law of the land, and the judges in every State shall be bound thereby. Anything in the Constitution or laws of any State to the contrary notwithstanding the Senators and representatives before mentioned and the members of the several state legislatures and all executive and judicial officers, both of the United States and of the several States shall be bound by oath or affirmation to support this Constitution, but no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States. Now the last article in this original Constitution is about ratifying it or making it into law, which is cute like when a character breaks the fourth wall and winks at the camera. The ratification of the conventions of nine States shall be sufficient for the establishment of this Constitution between the states. So ratifying the same done in convention by the unanimous consent of the states present on the 17th day of September in the year of our Lord 1787, and of the independence of the United States of America, the 12th in witness thereof, we have hereunto subscribed our names. Signed G. Washington, President and Deputy from Virginia. President is spelled President. They had some typos even though they weren't typing. It's fine. And then a bunch of other dead guys signed it. So while this is the end of the original document, don't worry, we futzed with it. We amended it 27 times so far. So before we get to constitutional glow ups and makeovers, let's have a quick few words from sponsors of this show who make it possible to make another donation to our nomologist Dean Fernita Tolson's cause of choice. The American Civil Liberties Union and the ACLU is a nonprofit organization whose mission is to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to every person in this country by the Constitution and the laws of the United States. So a donation was made to them, which was made possible by the following things that I like.
