Podcast Summary: "8 Simple Mindset Shifts to Feel Gratitude Even When Your Life Isn’t Where You Want it To Be"

Podcast: On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Host: Jay Shetty
Date: November 28, 2025
Episode Theme:
Jay Shetty dives deep into the practice of gratitude, especially during seasons when life doesn’t look the way we’d hoped. Moving past clichés and “toxic positivity,” Jay provides eight practical mindset shifts, grounded in both personal reflection and scientific research, that transform gratitude from a forced feeling into an accessible tool for healing and growth—regardless of circumstances.

1. Overview & Purpose

Jay addresses the difficulty of accessing gratitude when life feels unsatisfying or stagnant. Instead of denying pain, he argues for gratitude that "sits beside" struggle. The episode is structured around eight actionable steps and mindset shifts, each aimed to help listeners nurture authentic gratitude, build resilience, and find hope amid challenges.

2. Key Discussion Points & Insights

I. Gratitude Is Not Denial (06:55)

• Distinguishing True Gratitude: Jay explains that gratitude isn’t pretending everything is fine. It’s about acknowledging both the pain and the blessings.
• Toxic Positivity Warning: "When we use gratitude to suppress how we feel, it becomes toxic. It disconnects us from our own truth. But when we let it coexist with pain, it becomes healing." (08:44)
• Practice: Start gratitude sentences with “Even though…” to train your mind for balance.

II. Don’t Use Gratitude to Shut Down Emotion (11:20)

• Guilt vs. Gratitude: Comparing your pain to others and invalidating your emotions (“I shouldn’t feel sad, other people have it worse”) is guilt, not gratitude.
• Actionable Exercise: Make a two-column list: ‘What’s hard right now’ and ‘What’s still good right now’.
• Shift Language: Use “and” rather than “at least” to preserve the integrity of your feelings:
  • “This is hard and I’m grateful I still have a job.” (16:10)

III. Start with What Stayed (17:36)

• Focus on Consistencies: Instead of obsessing over losses, notice what remained—friends, values, personal qualities.
• Journal Prompt: Write down three things that didn’t leave you this year.
  • “When life falls apart, our minds go straight to what’s missing … rarely do we stop and ask what stayed?” (18:36)

IV. Gratitude Through Contrast—Compare Only to Yourself (20:13)

• Self-Comparison Over Social Comparison: Gratitude is about your own progress, not about being ahead of others.
• Quote: “If you keep comparing your life to someone else’s, you’ll start doubting blessings you once prayed for.” (23:52)
• Actionable Reflection: “Am I further along than I was?” If yes—even slightly—that’s something to thank yourself for.

V. Micro-Gratitude & Embodied Presence (27:01)

• The Ten Second Pause: Take ten seconds throughout your day to notice something good—“The coffee aroma. The sound of laughter. The sunlight through your window.”
• Embodied Gratitude: Notice where gratitude shows up in your body. “Thinking about gratitude doesn’t change you. Feeling it does.” (28:19)

VI. Reframing the ‘Waiting Season’ (29:08)

• Analogy: The bamboo plant spends years growing roots before shooting up rapidly—waiting is growing, not being left behind.
• Perspective Shift: “You’re not behind, you’re building underneath... Gratitude in this phase means thanking the roots, not the flowers.” (30:55)
• Reframing Question: Instead of “Why isn’t it happening yet?” ask “Who am I becoming while I wait?”

VII. Borrow Gratitude When Yours Runs Dry (32:58)

• Gratitude by Observation: Let the joy of others nurture your own. “When your heart can’t access gratitude, start by noticing someone else’s joy without judgment.” (33:50)
• Neuroscience Insight: Observing gratitude in others lights up the same brain regions as feeling it yourself.
• Emotional Maturity: “Being happy for someone when you’re losing isn’t about pretending you’re fine. It’s about saying, I’m proud of them even while I’m hurting. That’s emotional maturity. That’s strength.” (36:33)

VIII. Thank the Previous Version of Yourself (38:43)

• Self-Compassion Recall: Write a thank you note to your past self—this activates self-worth and emotional regulation centers in the brain.
• Quote: “You don’t have to hate who you were just because you’ve grown. That version of you wasn’t weak, they were doing what it took to survive. You don’t owe them judgment, you owe them gratitude.” (40:29)
• Integration: "Thank the version of you who survived. The one who held it together when everything felt like it was falling apart." (40:05)

3. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Separating Gratitude & Denial:
  "Gratitude was never meant to erase your pain. It was meant to sit beside it." (09:15)
• On Toxic Positivity:
  "When we use gratitude to suppress how we feel, it becomes toxic." (08:44)
• On Emotional Granularity:
  “Studies show people who can acknowledge both joy and sorrow are more resilient, less anxious, and bounce back faster from setbacks.” (10:20)
• On Comparative Mindsets:
  “The truth is, most people aren’t doing better than you. They’re just posting faster.” (25:51)
• On Waiting Seasons:
  “Bamboo spends five years growing roots underground before it breaks the surface. You’re not behind, you’re building underneath.” (30:50)
• On Borrowing Gratitude:
  “Gratitude is contagious. Sometimes you just need to borrow it.” (33:00)
• On Celebrating Others While Struggling:
  “Their light doesn’t dim yours. It just reveals where your wounds still want healing.” (35:40)
• On Thanking Your Past Self:
  “You don’t owe them judgment, you owe them gratitude. Because without them, you wouldn’t be here trying again, healing, rebuilding, becoming.” (40:29)

4. Relevant Timestamps

• Gratitude vs. Denial: 06:30 – 10:30
• Don’t Shut Down Emotions: 11:20 – 14:30
• Focus on What Stayed: 17:36 – 20:00
• Stop Comparing to Others: 20:13 – 27:00
• Micro-Gratitude & Embodied Presence: 27:01 – 29:08
• Reframing the Waiting Season: 29:08 – 32:58
• Borrowing Gratitude: 32:58 – 38:43
• Gratitude for Past Self: 38:43 – 41:15

5. Conclusion & Call to Action

Jay wraps up by encouraging listeners to directly share gratitude with one person in their personal and professional lives over the next seven days—not just in journals, but out loud, to real people. He reminds us, “Life isn’t about what happens to you. It’s about what you notice that is happening to you.” (14:45)

Final message: “I love spending this time for you. And remember, I’m forever in your corner and always rooting for you. Take care.” (41:15)

Recommended Listening:

Jay suggests the episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic for further development on self-compassion and growth.

Summary prepared for listeners of On Purpose with Jay Shetty — practical gratitude, even in difficult seasons, is possible, and often, it starts with simply noticing what remains.