B (10:09)

Hey, everybody, it's Tony Robbins. Look, the time is here. It's 2026, and everybody talks about having a new year and a new life. But what do most people do? They create a few resolutions and in the end, they don't really do anything. If you want this to be the best year you've ever had in your life, it's going to take a new tool, a new strategy, a new momentum, and maybe a new community of people to hang out with. So come join me for the Time to Rise summit. I do it only once a year. It's coming up January 29th through the 31st. There's absolutely no charge for it, but it'll be an experience I promise you. You will not forget. It's will give you momentum, a plan, and a strategy to make 2026 the best ever. If you're up for that, you're hungry for more, come join me. There's no cost for it whatsoever. Just go to time to riseummit.com time to riseummit.com I'll see you there.

A (11:13)

Principle 3 Don't ignore the signals People lose themselves in love overnight because they don't stay vigilant about the signs they see. These are the signs you're losing yourself in a relationship. You apologize for things that aren't your fault. Your partner's preferences always override yours. Your goals feel smaller and theirs feel more important. Your voice feels quieter and theirs feels louder. Your boundaries get blurry and they don't respect them. Your world gets narrower and you stop checking in with yourself. Hearing this from a friend broke my heart. They said, I love him, but I don't love who who I become around him. That sentence says everything. If love is costing you yourself, it's not worth it. Healthy love won't ask you to shrink. It won't punish your ambition. It won't resent your independence. It won't dim your light because healthy love says, stay who you are. Grow alongside me, not beneath me. Stop ignoring red flags just because you're attracted to them. Stop avoiding red flags just because you don't want to start over again. Stop avoiding red flags because the attention feels good after a long time without it. Stop avoiding red flags because you're scared this might be the best you'll get. Stop avoiding red flags because you're hoping their potential will one day become their reality. Whenever anyone breaks up and I ask them if they saw the signs, they can name all of them. They never turned up on time. They never really messaged back. They made me chase them a little. They never fully gave me their attention when we were out together. They never defended me in front of someone who was being harsh. They never encouraged my independence. When I told them what I wanted to do, they didn't really have anything to say. All of a sudden, when someone breaks up with you, you can see everything clearly. But when you were with them, you let go of it because you were attracted to how they sounded, how they looked, what they did for work, what people thought about them. So many of us don't listen carefully to these signals. So many of us avoid these red flags that are staring us in the face. And I get it. It's exciting, it's enthralling, it's intoxicating, right? When you find that person and it feels good, I get it. I know you want to be held. You want to feel safe. But do you want to be held for a night or held for your life? Do you want to feel insecure when you're with them and still look for safety elsewhere? Do you want to say and hear I love you but not really believe it? So many of us avoid red flags because we're moving too fast. Here's principle four. The three love lines you must never cross. These are three boundaries the healthiest couples never compromise. Number one, autonomy. You maintain your own thoughts, interests and choices. The right person is not trying to change your interests and your choices. They may help you understand them more. They may help you learn about them more. They're not making you want more. If your partner doesn't want to start a business and you convince them they should, that doesn't mean you care about them. You just projected your goals onto them. If your partner feels you are not ambitious enough, you get to ask yourself what ambition means to you. You get to ask yourself what success means to you. Number two, equity. Both people give. Both people receive. Not 9010, not 80, 20. Partnership means partnership. And here's the thing. In long term relationships, there will be times when one person does more than the other, knowing that a few years later the other person could be doing more. But the point is, both people are willing to give and receive and show up for each other. And the third is emotional honesty. If you're In a healthy relationship, you can express discomfort without fear. You can say, I need this without feeling judged. You can say, that hurt me without feeling weak. You can say, I'm scared without triggering the other person. Couples who maintain these boundaries report stronger long term satisfaction and lower conflict because the relationship becomes a place of truth, not performance. Principle 5 Fall in love with someone who loves your life, not just you. One of the biggest mistakes people make is falling for someone who loves them but doesn't love their lifestyle, their dreams, their values, their growth, their relationships, their independence. If someone loves only the parts of you that serve them, it's not love, it's possession. Real love says, I don't want to be your whole life, I want to be a part of the life you're living. The right partner isn't threatened by your dreams, they're inspired by them. The right partner doesn't shrink your world, they expand it. The right partner doesn't steal your identity, they celebrate it. If someone requires your disappearance in order to stay, they're not your person, they're a limitation. So many of us get manipulated. We get limited by people who make our feel. Our dreams are too small. I'm sure you've been with someone before and you said, hey, this is what I'm thinking of doing. And they said, well, I don't know if you can really do that. I don't know if that's really possible. Now they may be saying it from a good intention, but you want someone who engages with that and goes, how about, tell me about it, I want to know about it. By the way, I've made this mistake as well. Sometimes the realist in me can just be like, hey, yeah, I don't think that's going to work. And I've had to learn that when someone's sharing an idea with me, I've got to engage with their excitement, I've got to engage with their enthusiasm, I've got to engage with their energy about this. I actually have so many friends last year who broke up with their partners because their partners didn't like to see them shine. And this has become a real challenge right now. So many people are struggling with this where they're with someone who doesn't want to see them work hard, who doesn't want to see them achieve, who doesn't want to see them grow because they'd prefer they played small so that it makes them feel better. If someone doesn't want you to win so that they feel better about themselves, they're not your person. If someone doesn't want you to grow so that they don't feel small, they're not your person. If someone doesn't want you to achieve things so that they don't feel behind, they're not your person. Your person will want you to be the best version of you and try to become the best version of them. Because it's not a competition, it's connection. I once met a couple who'd been together for 40 years. They didn't talk about soulmates or destiny or perfect matches. They said something far more profound. We built two whole lives and then learned how to walk side by side. Their secret. They never stopped becoming individuals. They never stopped tending to their friendships. They never stopped learning about each other. They never stopped growing together. They never stopped growing individually. They never stopped choosing themselves and they never stopped choosing each other. They understood that the healthiest relationships are not two halves becoming one. They're two people walking side by side, staying connected. That's what's so interesting. We feel like we become one. When you meet the one you merge, it's. You have one life now. It's a mistake. If two minds, two brains, two hearts, how can you have one life? There's two lives that matter and then the life of your relationship. So here's the truth that I want to leave you with. You can fall in love this year without losing yourself. You can be committed and still be independent. You can give without disappearing. You can love someone deeply and still honor the person you're becoming. Love is not meant to erase you. Love is meant to elevate you. So remember this. Choose a love that expands your world, not one that replaces it. Choose a love that helps you grow, not one you have to shrink for. Choose a love that feels like partnership, not self abandonment. And most importantly, choose a love where you don't lose yourself because the right person will never ask you to. If you just went through a breakup, I hope this episode helps you. If you're in a relationship, I hope this episode helps you. And if you're looking for love, I hope this episode helps you. I made this episode because I think we cause ourselves so much pain when we fall in love fast. Ignore the red flags, lose ourselves, don't protect ourselves, override our beliefs and values in order to desperately find love, only to still be alone at the end of it. Here's the sad truth. We change who we are so that they'll stay. And then they leave because we changed. It's so interesting. We lose people not because we were inadequate, but because we lost Ourselves and that person wasn't our person. I think we put so much pressure on finding the person that we think if we find someone who shows interest in us, then that's enough. Not realizing that interest doesn't mean long term intimacy, it doesn't mean long term connection, it doesn't mean that. So when I'm telling you to not lose yourself in a relationship, it's so that you always have yourself, so that you have the person you can rely on, so that you have the person who protects you. And then when you do find the right person, you'll be able to build something together. Whereas hoping everyone's the right person and pretending someone's the right person. How many times have you ever done that where you meet someone and you make them the perfect person? You make them the right person because that's what you want. You don't even get to know them because you're just projecting what you want onto them. I hope this episode saves you time and from the pain of lessons that you don't need to learn yourself. Thank you for listening. I hope you've subscribed. Remember, I'm forever in your corner and I'm always rooting for you. Hey, everyone. If you love that conversation, go and check out my episode with the world's leading therapist, Lori Gottlieb, where she answers the biggest questions that people ask in therapy when it comes to love, relationships, heartbreak, and dating. If you're trying to figure out that space right now, you won't want to miss this conversation. If it's a romantic relationship, hold hands. It's really hard to argue. It actually calms your nervous systems. Just hold hands as you're having the conversation. It's so lovely.

B (23:39)

Hey, everybody, it's Tony Robbins. Look, the time is here. It's 2026, and everybody talks about having a new year and a new life. But what do most people do? They create a few resolutions and in the end, they don't really do anything. If you want this to be the best year you've ever had in your life, it's going to take a new tool, a new strategy, a new momentum, and maybe a new community of people to hang out with. So come join me for the Time to Rise Summit. I do it only once a year. It's coming up January 29th through the 31st. There's absolutely no charge for it, but it'll be an experience I promise you. You will not forget. It'll give you momentum, a plan, and a strategy to make 2026 the best ever. If you're up for that. You're hungry for more, come join me. There's no cost for it whatsoever. Just go to Time to Rise Summit. Com. Time to Riseummit.com. i'll see you there.

A (24:33)

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