Podcast Summary

On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Episode: Jay’s Must-Listens: 7 Tools For Navigating Grief That Will Bring You Comfort When Nothing Else Can
Guests: Kate Cassidy, Nicole Evan, Taylor Hill, Karan Johar
Date: December 24, 2025

Overview

In this deeply compassionate episode, Jay Shetty gathers candid, personal stories from guests who have each faced significant loss—whether of a loved one, a parent, a pet, or a potential future. The episode aims to offer comfort, practical tools, and the reassurance that grief, in all its forms, is both universal and uniquely personal. Listeners are guided through the evolving journey of grief, emphasizing the value of small rituals, forgiveness, honest conversations, and allowing space for every kind of loss.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Grief and the Holidays

• Jay Shetty (01:42): Highlights how holidays can magnify both connection and loss.

  "The holiday season can be a time of connection and celebration but it can also quietly amplify grief, memories, and the absence of someone we deeply love."
  (01:42)

• Research: Nearly one in three adults struggles with prolonged grief, especially during times of heightened togetherness.
• Perspective: Grief isn't something to "get over"; it's learning how to carry love forward in new ways.

2. Kate Cassidy: Grief After Losing a Partner

• Initial Numbness:

  "In the beginning, everything felt numb, like she was floating outside of herself." (02:57)

• Small Rituals as Healing:
  • Everyday acts—listening to favorite songs, talking about loved ones, noticing 'signs'—became touchstones in healing.
  • The significance of seeing angel numbers (444), and specific signs associated with her late boyfriend Liam.

  "The answer said four for four. That was Liam listening to me, and he was giving me a sign saying, I know I am here." (08:20)

• Normalizing Anger and Guilt in Grief:

  "It’s okay to be angry, and it’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to say things. It’s okay." (04:28)

• Signs from Loved Ones:
  • Details of meaningful coincidences in LA: the wallpaper identical to her London home, a special song playing, repeated sightings of the number '4' after asking for a sign from Liam.

  "Everywhere, we were just seeing fours... The wallpaper is the exact same wallpaper as me and Liam’s bathroom..." (09:15)

• Loneliness:

  "The hardest thing... is this loneliness feeling... Everything reminds me of him." (13:02)

7 Tools from Kate’s Story (Implied, Not Directly Enumerated):

• Trust your gut and heart
• Engage in any daily small activity
• Allow all feelings (anger, sadness, laughter)
• Maintain rituals, even small ones
• Be open to signs and symbolism
• Communicate and reminisce about your loved one
• Accept that healing is non-linear

3. Nicole Evan: The Power of Forgiveness After Tragedy

• Losing Her Mother to Violence: Had to choose whether to let anger consume her or to lean into faith and forgiveness.
• Leaning into Faith:

  "The reason I grew stronger in my faith, as opposed to leaving it, is because I really do believe that the universe has kind of laid it all out." (18:40)

• The Role of Choice:

  "The power of free will, which my mom always reminded me about, is that we as human beings do have free will. We have the freedom to choose how we're going to live, choose how we're going to think." (19:25)

• Bitterness vs. Hope:

  "I was so afraid of becoming a bitter person... If I hold on to these feelings, I’m gonna sink myself." (21:00)

• Forgiveness:
  Not about condoning, but about not letting pain define her.
• Hopefulness of 'Tomorrow':

  "Tomorrow keeps me hopeful. My mom always used to say, you have to have something to look forward to..." (21:55)

• Memorable Quote:

  "Grief is the receipt from the universe showing that you loved someone or something and loved them very deeply." - From her friend Penny (23:12)

• Emphasizing Life over the Moment of Loss:

  "Even though your mother’s death was shocking, her life was beautiful... it was no longer a 'but' and once I changed but to 'and', I didn’t have to choose." (25:00–26:00)

• Advice from T.D. Jakes:

  "Do you want your focus to be on her last five minutes, or are you going to focus on the 81 years that she lived? And it's your choice..." (26:49)

4. Karan Johar: The Importance of Conversations Before Goodbye

• Facing His Father’s Terminal Diagnosis:
  • The gift of having ten months to talk deeply, openly, and resolve unfinished conversations.

  "I have complete closure with my relationship with my father because I have no unanswered questions." (29:22)

• Communication Heals:

  "I always tell people, like, communicate today because there may not be a tomorrow. Communication is the resolve, it's the solution to every problem." (32:50–33:40)

• Practical Legacy:
  • His father left him an 11-page hand-written letter with detailed business advice and wisdom—no flowery words, just practical care.

  "He knew he was going, so he wrote me that... It became my bible." (34:54–35:39)

• Cultural Insight:
  • Respect in families should not create distance; real respect can coexist with openness.
• Quote:

  "Nothing is worse than losing a loved one. But you eventually have to come to terms with the fact that it's happened. That's why there’s a full stop, because the next sentence has to begin." (28:40)

5. Taylor Hill: Grieving Miscarriage and the Loss of a Pet

• Miscarriage and Disenfranchised Grief:
  • The pain of miscarriage is often dismissed by others, making it lonelier.

  “It’s not comforting to know other people have gone through it… I needed to be alone. I needed to feel it. I needed to sit in it. I didn’t want to talk about it.” (39:39–40:00)

• What Helped:
  • Presence without pressure; friends and loved ones who simply showed up, sat in silence, or mirrored her emotions helped most.

  “They just held my hand… they didn’t ask me questions… they were there for me physically.” (41:17–41:50)

• Supporting Others Through Loss:
  • Let people grieve at their own pace; check in, but don’t force conversations or solutions.
• Ongoing Friendship:
  • Female friendships provided validation and continual support, even years later (e.g., still talking about the possibility of both having three-year-olds now).
• Losing Her 'Soul Dog', Tate:
  • A pet’s death can be as profound a loss as any, deserving as much grief and remembrance.

  “I’ll never move on from Tate’s death. My grief will change, for sure... Getting over it, you can’t. He’s a part of me, and he’s no longer here.” (53:30–55:15)

• Validation from Community:
  • Publicly sharing her loss led to waves of shared experience and support, breaking isolation.
• Advice:
  • Don’t rush grief, let it unfold, and honor each kind of loss fully.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Kate Cassidy:

  “I think keeping a consistent ... routine ... just any type of small thing. It just helps so much with your headspace.” (04:15)
  “I just want to see what the Happy Meal toy is... and the answer said four for four. That was Liam listening to me.” (08:04)

• Nicole Evan:

  “The power of free will ... is that we as human beings do have [it]. We have the freedom to choose how we're going to live, choose how we're going to think.” (19:25)
  “Grief is the receipt from the universe showing that you loved someone or something and loved them very deeply.” (23:12)

• Karan Johar:

  “That’s why there’s a full stop, because the next sentence has to begin.” (28:42)
  “Keep an open channel of communication with your parent because they may not always be correct…” (32:00)
  “…he wrote me an 11-page letter … It became my bible.” (34:54 – 35:39)

• Taylor Hill:

  “They just held my hand and were like, just sat there with me and let me cry. They didn't ask me questions... they listened when I was ready to talk.” (41:17–41:50)
  “I’ll never move on from Tate’s death. My grief will change, for sure... Getting over it, you can’t.” (54:50 – 55:15)

Timestamps of Important Segments

• How Holidays Amplify Grief – 01:42
• Kate Cassidy: The Story of Signs and Small Rituals – 02:57 to 14:16
• Nicole Evan: Grief as Proof of Love, Forgiveness, and Perspective – 16:46 to 27:29
• Karan Johar: Conversations, Closure, and Practical Legacy – 28:40 to 36:02
• Taylor Hill: Miscarriage, Silent Support, and Pet Loss – 38:18 to 55:15
• Jay’s Closing Reflections – 55:34

Main Takeaways & Tools

• Trust your process: Follow your heart, and know grief has no fixed timeline or script.
• Value small rituals: Little acts and everyday routines matter.
• Look for meaning in signs and memories: These can offer comfort and connection.
• Stay open to support, but on your terms: Accept help, but don’t feel pressured to grieve publicly or move on.
• Forgiveness is a form of self-care: Not condoning, but choosing hope and release.
• Prioritize honest conversations: Don’t wait to say what matters; communication brings closure.
• Honor every loss: Whether a life, a dream, or a pet, all grief is valid and worthy of time and space.

Final Message

Jay Shetty closes by reminding listeners that grief doesn’t disappear, but, like love, it carries on and changes shape. Especially during the holidays, allow yourself the grace to remember, honor, and feel every emotion. Grief is universal, but so is love.

For further listening:

If this episode resonated, Jay suggests checking out his interview with Dr. Julie Smith on embracing difficult feelings and overcoming negative emotions.