Podcast Summary: Julia Fox EXCLUSIVE: ‘I Still Hear a Voice That Says I’m Nothing’ The Real Story Behind Surviving Addiction, Life as a Sex Worker, and How Motherhood Saved Her
Introduction In this powerful and candid episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, host Jay Shetty sits down with acclaimed actress and author Julia Fox. Recorded live at the iconic Madison Square Garden in New York City, the conversation delves deep into Julia's tumultuous journey through addiction, her experiences as a sex worker, and the transformative power of motherhood. This detailed summary captures the essence of their heartfelt dialogue, highlighting key moments, insightful discussions, and poignant revelations.
Early Life and Childhood Trauma [02:10 – 12:51]
Defining Childhood Experiences Julia opens up about the profound impact of her tumultuous childhood on her mental health and self-worth. She recounts frequent and severe arguments between her parents, which left her feeling isolated and unimportant.
- Julia Fox [02:16]: “My parents always fighting, like, horrible, horrible fights.”
Coping Mechanisms To escape the chaos at home, Julia would retreat to the bathroom, using a hairdryer to numb herself and dissociate from her emotions.
- Julia Fox [02:16]: “I would just turn on the hairdryer and I’d just lay on the floor for, like, six hours.”
Support from Grandparents Despite the difficult relationship with her parents, Julia highlights the unwavering support and love from her grandparents, particularly her grandmother, who nurtured her artistic talents.
- Julia Fox [12:51]: “My grandma encouraged me as an artist. She saw that I had a talent.”
Entering the Sex Industry and Finding Empowerment [14:46 – 21:50]
Decision to Become a Sex Worker At 17, Julia made the difficult decision to enter the sex industry as a means of survival. She discusses how her ability to compartmentalize emotions made this transition manageable and, unexpectedly, empowering.
- Julia Fox [02:30]: “I could really disassociate and detach. I think that’s why it was so easy for me to enter an industry.”
Empowerment and Self-Worth Julia found a sense of self-worth and an outlet for her anger through her work in the sex industry, particularly as a dominatrix, which allowed her to channel her emotions constructively.
- Julia Fox [02:43]: “I actually found the whole experience really empowering... I actually kind of gained some self worth.”
Understanding the Male Psyche Through her experiences, Julia gained profound insights into the male psyche and the importance of balance in human relationships.
- Julia Fox [19:35]: “Humans really need balance. I learned that really, that’s what you took away.”
Struggles with Addiction and the Path to Recovery [28:14 – 33:26]
Addiction to Heroin Julia delves into her battle with heroin addiction, describing it as a substitute for maternal comfort due to her strained relationship with her mother.
- Julia Fox [29:14]: “Heroin kind of became a replacement mommy.”
Trigger for Sobriety The heartbreaking overdose of her best friend in 2019 became a pivotal moment, compelling Julia to seek sobriety in honor of her friend's memory.
- Julia Fox [29:30]: “If that could just be me not getting high anymore, I know that she would approve of that.”
Motherhood as Salvation Six months after her friend's death, Julia became pregnant. Motherhood provided her with a profound purpose, motivating her to maintain sobriety and build a better life for her son.
- Julia Fox [32:07]: “If there’s one thing I’m determined to do is to not give him a childhood. So, I have to be sober.”
Navigating Relationships and Family Dynamics [37:05 – 43:50]
Strained Mother-Daughter Relationship Julia discusses the challenges in her relationship with her mother, a psychologist who failed to provide the emotional support Julia needed during her adolescence.
- Julia Fox [37:05]: “She could just never do that. And, you know, I think, like, now that I’m also a mom, I can see her as a human.”
Acceptance Over Forgiveness Acknowledging the pain caused by her mother's neglect, Julia emphasizes the importance of acceptance rather than forgiveness to maintain her own peace and prioritize her child’s well-being.
- Julia Fox [40:16]: “There is an acceptance, which I think is the closest thing to forgiveness.”
Role of Surrogate Maternal Figures Throughout her life, Julia was supported by various surrogate maternal figures who provided the love and guidance absent from her relationship with her biological mother.
- Julia Fox [42:04]: “I attracted so many amazing women with that kind of instinct...my advisor in high school who saved my life.”
Personal Growth and Transformation [46:57 – 56:44]
Breaking Free from Toxic Dependencies Julia shares her journey of overcoming addiction, celibacy, and unhealthy relationships, highlighting the importance of small, daily practices that foster genuine happiness.
- Julia Fox [54:54]: “I can go grocery shopping and I can go to sleep when I’m supposed to and wake up when I’m supposed to.”
Embracing Authenticity Through her recovery, Julia learned to value the small joys of life and the importance of being true to oneself rather than seeking external validation.
- Julia Fox [54:54]: “Life is all the little things...you have to get all the little things together.”
Reconnecting with Emotions Having distanced herself from numbness, Julia is now more in touch with her emotions, although she continues to navigate the challenges of articulating her feelings.
- Julia Fox [28:14]: “Feeling is still kind of a newer thing for me.”
Final Reflections and Advice [56:44 – End]
Overcoming Stigma and Finding Purpose Julia discusses the cathartic process of writing her memoir, Down the Drain, which allowed her to release her pain and connect with others facing similar struggles.
- Julia Fox [65:09]: “Having to sit down every day and write that book... it was probably the closest I’d ever gotten to actually.”
Encouraging Vulnerability and Support Emphasizing the importance of sharing burdens and seeking help, Julia urges listeners to open up and lean on others rather than isolating themselves.
- Julia Fox [44:42]: “Just if you’re feeling something, tell somebody.”
Final Words and Meditation In the concluding segment, Julia highlights the transformative power of meditation, sharing her own experiences and encouraging listeners to incorporate it into their daily lives.
- Julia Fox [67:22]: “Meditation really works.”
Notable Quotes
- Julia Fox [02:30]: “I could really disassociate and detach. I think that’s why it was so easy for me to enter an industry.”
- Julia Fox [29:14]: “Heroin kind of became a replacement mommy.”
- Julia Fox [40:16]: “There is an acceptance, which I think is the closest thing to forgiveness.”
- Julia Fox [54:54]: “Life is all the little things...you have to get all the little things together.”
- Julia Fox [65:09]: “Having to sit down every day and write that book... it was probably the closest I’d ever gotten to actually.”
Conclusion This episode offers a raw and unfiltered glimpse into Julia Fox's life, highlighting her resilience and unwavering drive to overcome adversity. From her traumatic childhood and challenging foray into the sex industry to her battle with addiction and eventual salvation through motherhood, Julia's story is one of profound transformation and hope. Her insights serve as a testament to the human spirit's capacity for healing and growth, making this episode a deeply inspiring listen for anyone navigating their own struggles.
Recommended Listening For those moved by this episode, Jay Shetty recommends Julia's interview with Will Smith on "Owning Your Truth and Unlocking the Power of Manifestation." Additionally, listeners are encouraged to explore Jay's other insightful episodes on On Purpose to continue their journey towards happiness, health, and healing.