On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Episode: Malala: The Story The World Hasn’t Heard Until Now
Date: October 13, 2025
Guest: Malala Yousafzai

Overview

In this deeply personal episode, Nobel Peace Prize laureate and girls’ education activist Malala Yousafzai joins Jay Shetty to share untold aspects of her journey. Framed around her new memoir, the conversation goes far beyond headlines and global recognition. Malala reveals her struggles with identity, belonging, trauma, friendship, and healing, highlighting the relatable, human side behind her public figure. The discussion provides rare, candid insights into the aftermath of her attack, her path to advocacy, family influences, navigating love and self-acceptance, the power of therapy, and what she believes drives true social change.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Aftermath of Violence and Public Recognition

[02:10] Malala recounts waking from a coma after being shot, realizing her life and identity had been defined by the world before she could make sense of it herself.

• She describes the confusion and pain of waking up in Birmingham, UK, not knowing the global outpouring happening about her story.
• The sudden shift from a local student to an international symbol left her grappling with the impossibility of ever “going back to normal.”
  • “I still had not even seen what was out there on the media about me. I was like, you know, what does this new life mean?... How do I recover from the trauma that I have faced?” [04:54]

2. Identity and ‘Symbol’ vs. ‘Self’

[06:58] Malala discusses the pressure of living up to the myth others created of her:

• Feeling forced to be “brave” always, despite being only a teenager.

• Struggling with loneliness, wishing for a normal, mischievous schoolgirl’s life, missing her old friends.

  • “Sometimes the absurdity of it made me laugh... Even on my best day I was not the reticent saint that everyone now claimed I was.” [10:40]

3. Family, Education, and the Birth of Activism

[13:42] Malala reflects on the atmosphere in her home and community that made pursuing education an act of defiance:

• Mother could not complete primary school due to cultural barriers.

• Father became a fierce advocate for girls’ education because his own sisters were denied it.

• “My father is spreading this message that true honor lies in standing up for women and girls when their rights are taken away ... don’t ask me what I did, but ask me what I did not do. I did not clip her wings.” [15:11]

• The onset of Taliban rule turned ordinary activism into an existential threat—education became both forbidden and precious.

  • “We loved our time in school ... when girls’ exposure is limited ... school becomes that place of safety for you.” [11:18]

4. Becoming an Activist

[23:57] Describes how activism was out of necessity, not ambition:

• Blogging for the BBC at age 11, because no other girl’s family would permit it.
• “Basically, yes, I became an activist at a young age, but this is not what I had chosen for myself. It was the circumstances that made me an activist.” [26:23]

5. Coping with Trauma and Mental Health

[34:48] Malala revisits the school bus attack:

• She shares the fragments she remembers, and the emotional numbness that followed.
• The miraculous survival, the overwhelming support from strangers worldwide, but also the sense that life had been propelled into relentless activism.

[44:43] Therapy, PTSD, and Emotional Healing:

• Malala avoided therapy after the attack due to cultural attitudes and the pressure to be strong.
• Years later, a flashback triggered by a college party forced her to confront “the darkness” she’d never processed.
  • “I felt that I had failed in living up to the expectation of being brave and courageous ... I was so frustrated with myself.” [49:11]
• Therapy eventually became life-changing, teaching her triggers, breathing techniques, and that healing is gradual.

6. The Importance of Friendship and Belonging

[57:06] On friendship as sanctuary:

• True friends provide nonjudgmental space where she isn’t a symbol—she can be silly and open.
• “When I am in the company of my friends, I don’t think about being correct about everything ... I can be myself.” [57:06]
• Making and maintaining friendships was challenging amid fame and trauma, but ultimately transformative.

7. Navigating Love, Insecurity, and Self-Acceptance

[64:02] Candidly discusses romance and insecurity post-injury:

• Became the “relationship guru” to friends despite limited experience.
• Self-image struggles—questioning if she could be loved post-trauma, believing for a time that “love life is not for me.”
  • “In the middle of that I just forgot to love myself. That was the hard part.” [68:04]
• Met her husband, Asar, and their story became one of mutual respect; she reframes feminist men as “basic men”—the minimum, not something to be praised.
  • “That should be a basic normal man.” [72:25]

[73:49] Marriage:

• Internal debate about marrying, understanding cultural norms, and whether she was betraying her values by upholding traditions she used to criticize.
• Highlights the need to redefine institutions like marriage so they’re mutual and empowering, not restrictive.

8. Global Advocacy & What Drives Change

[80:59] Grassroots activists are central to real change:

• One speech or figure isn’t enough; it takes systemic, decades-long work.
  • “It is the local activists who are driving real change on the ground ... decades long work to shift narrative, to change policies, to change the law. That is real change.” [81:05]
• Malala Fund’s model: provide grants and support to local girl activists in countries like Nigeria, Pakistan, Afghanistan.

9. Reflections on the Taliban, Global Injustice & Hope

[78:28] Recognizes worsening assaults on women’s rights globally:

• “Gender apartheid” in Afghanistan; conflicts and wars globally disproportionately obstruct girls’ education.
• Emphasizes that education for girls is a “solution multiplier” for communities, prosperity, and equality.

10. Processing the Past, Looking Forward

[86:53] On the attack’s anniversary:

• Focuses on hope and collective action, but admits: “I do not want to think about ... how a person could decide to target a 15-year-old girl. It’s really hard.”
• Finds hope from the activists she’s met globally and schools she’s helped build—including her own village’s new girls’ school in Pakistan, providing academics and mental health resources.

11. Final Five: Advice and Reflections

• Best advice: “Actions are just way more powerful [than words].” [100:50]
• Worst advice: “Maybe getting a fringe cut” (bangs)—a lighthearted moment [101:11].
• Still learning to love: Her own sense of never “doing enough” despite accolades, and to trust collective progress over individual heroics [101:53].
• Peace: Desires not just inner peace, but global peace (“the absence of gunshots and bombings”), especially ending dehumanization [109:29].
• One law: Ban on education for girls should be recognized as an international crime; affirms legislation’s role but stresses personal and collective responsibility, too [113:47].

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On embracing identity thrust upon her:
  “I’ll never know who I was supposed to be because the world decided who you were before you got to become.” — Malala [04:38]

• On ordinary dreams:
  “I just wanted to be the girl I was in Pakistan: mischievous, chatting with friends ... maybe that part of my life is gone.” — Malala [09:41]

• On the journey to activism:
  “It was the circumstances that made me an activist ... which girl at 11 wants to be an activist? But it’s only when your school is closed ... you want to speak out.” — Malala [26:23]

• On mental health and stigma:
  “The therapist at the hospital was my least favorite ... I thought I did not remember the attack, so I’m good. I can move on. Then seven years later, I had flashbacks …” — Malala [44:43]

• On the pressure of being a symbol of courage:
  “This was not happening before because I was supposed to be this brave and courageous girl. And now ... I felt that I had failed in living up to the expectation ...” — Malala [49:11]

• On redefining masculinity:
  “That should be a basic normal man … That should be called a basic normal dad.” — Malala [72:25, 72:29]

• On her hopes for the future:
  “We can ensure that every girl can be in school. Every girl can complete her education.” — Malala [98:28]

• On humor as resilience:
  “One thing that I feel people don’t know about me is that I am a very funny person ... humor is everything to me. So I laugh through many things.” — Malala [117:21]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Malala’s awakening & identity crisis: [02:10], [04:54]
• Living up to the world’s image: [06:58], [10:40]
• Family influences & education: [13:42]–[16:55]
• Activism origins/blogging for BBC: [23:57]
• On Taliban occupation & loss of schooling: [21:45]
• School bus attack & recovery: [34:48]
• Mental health, trauma, therapy: [44:43], [49:11]
• Friendship, belonging, making friends in the UK: [57:06], [58:41]
• Navigating romance, self-image post-trauma: [64:02], [68:04]–[71:01]
• Marriage, cultural norms: [73:49]–[77:26]
• Activism, real change, Malala Fund: [80:59]–[85:58]
• Building a school at home, new sense of belonging: [94:14]–[99:12]
• Final reflections & advice: [99:58]–[116:49]
• Humor as survival: [117:21]

Tone & Atmosphere

Malala is candid and open, seamlessly blending humor with gravity. Her storytelling is honest, often disarming, and intentionally seeks to deconstruct the myth around her. Jay Shetty’s warm, empathetic style allows Malala the space to express vulnerability and complexity, making the conversation feel both relatable and enlightening.

Closing Note

This episode stands out for humanizing an icon, revealing the person behind the headlines. Malala’s courage is shown not just in her activism, but in her willingness to share her struggles with doubt, identity, healing, friendship, and love—a testament to resilience that is both extraordinary and deeply human.