Episode Summary: "Stop Chasing Love! (How to Shift Your Mindset to Start Attracting It)" with Tinks

Podcast Information:

• Title: On Purpose with Jay Shetty
• Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts
• Description: Hosted by Jay Shetty, the world's #1 Mental Health podcast aims to make listeners happier, healthier, and more healed through conversations and workshops. Featuring interviews with experts, celebrities, thought leaders, and athletes, the podcast focuses on mindset growth, habit building, and uncovering unique personal insights.
• Episode: Stop Chasing Love! (How to Shift Your Mindset to Start Attracting It) With Tinks
• Release Date: May 30, 2025

Introduction to the Episode

The episode opens with Jay Shetty introducing a special format where he becomes the guest on Tinks' show, Office Hours. This unique setup allows for a deep dive into topics such as relationships, dating, and managing life's stresses. Jay emphasizes that the questions discussed resonate with many listeners' personal struggles, making the episode highly relevant for those navigating relationship challenges, breakups, or significant life transitions.

Jay's Journey with Meditation and the Calm App

[04:35] Jay Shetty shares his role as the Chief Purpose Officer at Calm, highlighting his collaboration with the app's founders, Michael Acton Smith and Alex. Over the past three years, Jay has been contributing to Calm by recording seven-minute meditations five days a week.

Jay Shetty [05:03]: "It's been incredible to record a seven-minute meditation five days a week, every week for the last three years."

He underscores the importance of viewing meditation not as a mandatory task but as a practical, lived experience. Jay narrates a poignant story from his time in a monastery, where a young monk taught him that mastering one's breath is equivalent to mastering life. This insight shapes his approach to teaching meditation as a holistic, sensory experience rather than a purely mental exercise.

Jay Shetty [07:11]: "We all require and demand so much of our bodies. And so for anyone who's struggling to start with meditation, my tiny request is just notice how you inhale and notice how you exhale."

Practical Meditation Techniques

Jay introduces three types of meditation: breathwork, visualization, and mantra, all of which he was trained in during his monastic years. He provides a guided exercise during the episode, encouraging listeners to place their left palm on their stomachs and focus on their breathing. This hands-on approach helps demystify meditation and makes it more accessible.

Jay Shetty [10:22]: "What I like to remind people is that meditation is a very physical, feelable thing."

Managing News Consumption and Mental Health

[14:10] The conversation shifts to the overwhelming influx of news and its impact on mental health. Jay highlights the staggering amount of information we consume daily, equating it to reading 100,000 words or watching 25 episodes of a TV series back-to-back.

Jay Shetty [15:15]: "We consume around 34 gigabytes of data per day. It's like watching 25 episodes of Stranger Things in one day."

He introduces the concept of the "Four N's"—Notifications, Negativity, News, and Noise—which collectively drain our energy and leave us feeling overwhelmed. To combat this, Jay suggests adopting a morning routine that excludes phone usage, allowing for a calm and focused start to the day.

Jay Shetty [17:13]: "News doesn't find us. We live in a world where most of us don't find news or look for news. News finds us."

Building a Sustainable Morning Routine

[21:04] Jay details his personal morning routine, emphasizing consistency and sustainability. He wakes up at 6 AM, engages in meditation from 6:15 AM to 7:45 AM, and incorporates strength training into his schedule. Jay also incorporates reflective questions each morning to set a proactive tone for the day.

Jay Shetty [24:53]: "I want 70% of my week to be as optimal, as healthy as possible."

Insights on Podcasting and Guest Interactions

Jay discusses memorable interviews from his podcast, highlighting conversations with Brian Chesky, the founder of Airbnb, and Tom Holland, who opened up about his sobriety journey. These interactions showcase his ability to delve deep into personal stories, fostering genuine connections and emotional responses.

Jay Shetty [27:49]: "Many of our peers... express something they may never have shared somewhere else before."

Understanding Soulmates and Relationship Dynamics

[33:17] Jay explores the concept of soulmates, proposing that individuals may experience love with multiple people throughout their lives. He categorizes these relationships into three types: the Firework (passionate but fleeting), the Candle (steady but lacks spark), and the Mirror (reflective and growth-oriented).

Jay Shetty [35:56]: "I don't believe in the one soulmate that you're destined to be with... there's a soulmate for each frequency you operate at."

He emphasizes the importance of finding a partner who complements one's current personal growth and frequency, rather than searching for an elusive, perfect match.

Upcoming Live Tour and Personal Reflections

Jay shares details about his upcoming live tour across North America, designed to offer in-person experiences that foster growth, learning, and community building. He reflects on the challenges of touring, drawing parallels between podcasting and athletic discipline, and underscores the importance of focus and preparation.

Jay Shetty [51:34]: "When you're on tour, it becomes about everything you have to be totally zoned in."

Closing Thoughts and Personal Anecdotes

In the final segments, Jay and Tinks discuss personal habits, guilty pleasures, and the importance of maintaining balance. Jay shares his love for plant-based fast food and ice cream, highlighting how even those dedicated to personal growth indulge in simple pleasures.

Jay Shetty [55:06]: "I'm not traveling for pleasure. I'm traveling to serve."

The episode concludes with Jay directing listeners to his tour website and social media channels, encouraging continued engagement and connection.

Notable Quotes:

• Jay Shetty [05:03]: "It's been incredible to record a seven-minute meditation five days a week, every week for the last three years."
• Jay Shetty [07:11]: "We all require and demand so much of our bodies. And so for anyone who's struggling to start with meditation, my tiny request is just notice how you inhale and notice how you exhale."
• Jay Shetty [15:15]: "We consume around 34 gigabytes of data per day. It's like watching 25 episodes of Stranger Things in one day."
• Jay Shetty [17:13]: "News doesn't find us. We live in a world where most of us don't find news or look for news. News finds us."
• Jay Shetty [35:56]: "I don't believe in the one soulmate that you're destined to be with... there's a soulmate for each frequency you operate at."
• Jay Shetty [55:06]: "I'm not traveling for pleasure. I'm traveling to serve."

Conclusion: In this episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, listeners are guided through transformative discussions on meditation, managing information overload, building sustainable routines, and redefining relationships. Jay’s insights offer practical strategies for shifting mindsets to attract love and foster personal growth, making this episode a valuable resource for anyone seeking deeper fulfillment in their personal and relational lives.