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Jay Shetty
This is an iHeart podcast.
Tinks
This episode of On Purpose is brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. I believe that travel is one of the greatest gifts that we've ever been given and Chase Sapphire Reserve has been my gateway to the world's most captivating destinations. When I use my Chase Sapphire Reserve Card, I get three times points on travel and dining and even access to to one of a kind experiences like music festivals and sports events. And that's not even mentioning how the card gets me into the Sapphire Lounge by the club at select airports nationwide. Travel is more rewarding with Chase Sapphire Reserve.
Jay Shetty
Trust me.
Tinks
Discover more@chase.com Sapphire Reserve cards issued by JP Morgan Chase bank member FDIC member subject to Credit approval Terms apply Lately, I've been trying to be more intentional, even with small decisions like cooking at home instead of ordering out. It's simple, but it helps me save for things that truly matter. That's why I love the State Farm Personal Price Plan. It lets you bundle home and auto insurance to create an affordable price that fits your needs. It's one of those thoughtful choices that that support the life you're trying to build. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the Personal Price Plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer, availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state. Ready to make bigger moves with your career with Indeed Better Work finds you.
Jay Shetty
Not the other way around.
Tinks
Just update your Indeed profile with your skills, experience and salary expectations and you'll automatically be matched with jobs that fit what you're looking for. In so many of my conversations with executives, entrepreneurs and creatives, I hear the same thing. I've hit a wall. Not because they're failing, but because they've outgrown where they are. And that moment, while uncomfortable, is is often the beginning of real change. That's what's so great about an Indeed profile. It helps you articulate your valuable skills and goals so better work can find you. When that happens, the work can work better for everyone. Hey everyone, it's Jay Shetty and I'm thrilled to announce my podcast tour for the first time ever, you can experience on purpose and in person. Join me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to experience growth, spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to meet You. There are a limited number of VIP experiences for a private Q and a, intimate meditation, and a meet and greet with photos. Tickets are on sale now. Head to jshetty Me Tor and get yours today. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose. Today's episode is a little different because instead of hosting, I'm the guest. I joined Tinks on her show Office Hours for a deep and insightful conversation where I answer some of the most thought provoking questions about about relationships, dating, and the stresses of life. I always love these conversations because I feel like the questions that she's asking me are what some of you are asking me. It's what you're worried about, it's what you're thinking about. So if you're struggling with dating right now, if you're struggling with your relationships right now, if you're struggling with a breakup, this episode is for you. If you're navigating a big life decision, a big life transition, feeling overwhelmed with the news and what's happening around you, this episode is for you. I hope you enjoy it.
The number one health and wellness podcast, Jay Shetty.
Jay Shetty.
The one, the only Jay Shetty. Welcome to office hours. It's so nice to have you on.
Jay Shetty
Thanks for having me. I'm so grateful to be here.
Tinks
This is so exciting. God, I love calm. I have to say, I love that app. Even though I'm not a meditator. I will get into that later. I have to say, that app is like, one of the most used on my phone. How has that experience been for you?
Jay Shetty
That makes me so happy. Yeah. I joined CALM as their chief purpose officer three years ago now. And it all came from this beautiful friendship I had with the founders of calm. So Michael Acton Smith and Alex, they both founded the app and we kept hearing from both our worlds that I should connect with them, and they were hearing that they should connect with me, and we got together and it's been incredible to record a seven minute meditation five days a week, every week for the last three years.
Tinks
Wow.
Jay Shetty
And so if someone wants to build a meditation practice, there's seven minutes a day set up for you every single day.
Tinks
That's so cool. Do they do you can do. Are you sort of like a consultant as well for them? Do they bounce ideas off of you?
Jay Shetty
Yeah. We'll discuss everything from what we're expanding with how the brain's looking and looking at the health right now.
Tinks
I love it.
Jay Shetty
We've been having so many amazing conversations. I'm so proud of. I mean, what We've been able to create together, but what they've done, because it's really showed us how meditation can be stories and can be walks and can be practices.
Tinks
So true.
Jay Shetty
And that's what I loved. I didn't want people to have this limited view of what meditation was. I wanted them to have this really practical, alive view of it. I know, it's incredible to see that.
Tinks
It's funny that you say that, because I. I'm someone who's like, you know when you have a pet and you have to put their medicine in peanut butter to get them to eat the pill? Like, that's me with meditation, I'm like, I don't meditate. You know, I don't meditate. It's too for me. But with calm, I actually am able to. I do it because that's what meditating is. It's, you know, breath work and thinking about, you know, clearing your mind. But I really need the Calm app. So that's so interesting. We can actually dive in right there. I like, what do you recommend for someone who is stuck with meditation, aside from calm, or talk about a little bit more about calm, who thinks that meditation simply won't work for them? Because I guess that's kind of me. I mean, I do calm. I use the I like the sleep, going to sleep ones every single night. I listen to it, and if I'm anxious on the plane, I listen. There's a lot of great short ones on the app. But for someone who wants to really get into meditation, who feels stuck, what would you say?
Jay Shetty
Yeah, I find it so funny when people come up to me and they're like, you put me to bed every night. And I love that feeling. It's such a nice feeling and having that intimate space with someone. But for anyone who's struggling with meditation, the first thing I'd say is, everyone struggles with meditation. It's almost like trying to work out.
Tinks
I feel like you would never. I imagine you can meditate for just, like, perfectly, and you're so good at it. And sometimes I even think about when I see, like, you on Instagram or whatever. I'm like, that guy meditates so well. I know it, but it's just. It's hard.
Jay Shetty
It's been nearly 20 years. I better meditate.
Tinks
Well, now I know, but I just. I automatically think of the to do list when I try to do it with no Calm app. I'm like, oh, my God, I have to call the plumber. Oh, my God, I have to do that. And that it's just so hard to kick into it. But I really love calm. So maybe it's about marrying the two.
So I want to honest share a few things.
Jay Shetty
The first thing is that there's three types of meditation. There's breathwork, there's visualization, and there's mantra. And I'll explain all three. And I was trained in all three during my time as a monk. And so I love helping it be a menu for people because I think sometimes people just don't know where to start. And so I remember my first day in the monastery in India, and I saw a young monk in teaching younger monks how to meditate. And so I walked up to this young monk and asked him, what are you doing? And he said, it's their first day of school. I'm teaching them how to breathe. And I said, okay. And he said, what did you learn on your first day of school? And I said, maybe 1, 2, 3, ABC, I don't know. And he said, well, here we teach them how to breathe, because the only thing that stays with you from the moment you're born to the moment you die is your breath. And he said, everything else changes. Your family, your friends, where you live, all of that can change, but the breath stays with you that whole time. And then he said to me, what changes when you're happy? Your breath. What changes when you're sad? Your breath. What changes when you're late? Your breath. What changes when you're angry? Your breath. And he said, every emotion in your life is connected to your breath. So if you learn to master your breath, you learn to master life. Now, he was 10 years old and something like that, like 10, 11 years old, and sharing all this wisdom. And the reason why I love that story is because you stop looking at meditation as this thing you have to do, and you recognize it's actually a way of living. It's who you are. You have your breath. And if you look at the best athletes, the best musicians, the best people out there in the world doing incredible things, they've all learned to master their breath. You can't run for that long without knowing your breath. You can't play a win wind instrument for that long without mastering your breath. And when you look at it that way, you recognize we're all athletes. We all require and demand so much of our bodies. And so for anyone who's struggling to start with meditation, my tiny request is just notice how you inhale and notice how you exhale. And so if we inhale together right now, things together you could probably feel something happening in your nostrils. You can feel the change of your body. And the practice I like people to get comfortable with is, as you're listening to this, if you can, of course, if you're not, if you're driving, don't do this. Or if you're on the treadmill, maybe don't do this, but place your left palm on your stomach, and as you breathe in, feel your stomach come out. And as you breathe out, feel your stomach go in. As you breathe in, feel your stomach go out. And as you breathe out, feel your stomach go in. Now, Tinks, were you thinking about what you're going to eat later?
Tinks
No, I wasn't. I really wasn't.
Jay Shetty
You weren't. Right. And what's beautiful about it is we use the sense of touch. So we were touching our stomachs. We could feel something changing. And I think sometimes we think meditation's in the mind. But what I like to remind people is that meditation is a very physical, feelable thing. And so both of us there for a second, felt everything stop, felt everything slow down, and felt disconnected, even from the space we were in. And so use all your senses. Light some incense if you like, so that the sense of smell is engaged. Hold your stomach. Hold on to something if that helps you feel connected. Don't feel like you have to do it all in your head.
Tinks
Yeah. Wow. No, it's so true. That's my favorite part of the sleeping meditation that I do from the Calm app is like, breathe in, you know, then hold and breathe out. And it's. It's crazy, the power of breath, because even just doing those two breaths now did calm me down, kind of refocus. Like I was running from something. I'm kind of. You know, mine's all over the place. As usual. We're all doing a million things, and we don't think about breathing that much, and we don't. We don't focus on it. But it's incredible, the power of just a few breaths that can transform your. Your moment.
Jay Shetty
Absolutely. Our usual experience of life is our mind is moving fast.
Tinks
Yeah.
Jay Shetty
And our body is sitting still.
Tinks
So true.
Jay Shetty
Our mind is racing from the moment we're up and our body is sitting in a chair. And what meditation teaches you to do is still your mind so that you can move your body.
Tinks
Yeah.
Jay Shetty
And that's what we need to get to. We need to get to a place where we're moving our body, stilling our mind, as opposed to the other way around.
Tinks
Yeah.
Jay Shetty
And I completely agree with you that, if anyone. I think the best time to use it is use it when you feel like you just rush to jump onto that train.
Tinks
Right.
Jay Shetty
Or when you were just rushing into that Uber, or when you were just rushing into a meeting. Take a second to just do three deep inhales and exhales, and all of a sudden you'll start to gain confidence in it. I think people think meditation has to be something you do outside of your real life. I think about it completely the opposite. I do it in the back of Ubers. I do it when I'm on trains like that. I do it when I'm running into a meeting and I'm feeling out of breath or late. I'm doing it in my life. And I think that's a great way to start because it builds your confidence, it gives you some momentum rather than, oh, I haven't meditated today.
Tinks
Yes.
Jay Shetty
It's like, no, I. I just used breath because my breathing was faster, shallow, and more random when I was feeling tired, anxious, or nervous.
Tinks
Yeah, no. Okay, well, so maybe I do meditate a little bit. Because I do. I have been doing that lately. I. I try to do three really just intentional breaths. Because, you know, with the phone, our minds are really. It's a lot. Like, there's this trend on social media right now where people are like, unfortunately, my brain can no longer tell the difference between getting an email and being chased by a bear. And it's like, I totally feel that, you know? And I feel like our nervous systems are kind of all out of whack. We're looking at the phone all the time. We're obsessed with the news updates and everything. And it's like. And you're right. And usually we're sitting in a car or we're sitting in our desk or whatever, and you start to freak out. And then you just go, okay, no, I'm here. I'm gonna do three breaths and then I'm gonna move on. On that point, I do wanna ask you. There is just 24. 7 news. It's a bombardment. A lot of negativity and a lot. I know a lot of people in my community are feeling super, super overwhelmed right now. So aside from intentional breathing meditation, how would you suggest people dose themselves on the news? Or how do you personally filter the information you receive so that you're informed but you're not freaking out?
Jay Shetty
Yeah, I think I read something that said we're exposed to more tragedy in 24 hours today than we were in our whole lifetime 25 years ago.
Tinks
That's crazy.
Jay Shetty
And if you think about that for a second, it feels true. We consume around 34 gigabytes of data per day. Do you remember when your hard Drive wasn't even 1 gigabyte? And when you're looking at that, just to make it make sense for people, I read an article that was saying that's like reading 100,000 words every day.
Tinks
It's crazy.
Jay Shetty
It's like watching 25 episodes of Stranger Things in one day. Just back to back to back. So we're consuming so much information, and like you said, not all of its health. A lot of it's news, notifications, negativity, noise. And I call these the four N's. They put us into a minus state. Every time a notification comes in, you're like, minus one energy, negativity comes in, minus two energy, news comes in, minus three energy. And the rest of the day, you're literally climbing back up to zero. Zero.
Tinks
Yes, that's exactly how I feel.
Jay Shetty
That's how you feel, right? You feel inundated and you almost feel buried by these four ends. You feel buried by notifications, negativity, news, and noise. So what do you do about it? For me, and I know this sounds bizarre, but it has changed my life, and I have to bring it up. There has to be a way that the first five minutes of your day are not on your phone.
Tinks
Okay.
Jay Shetty
And whether that's getting a hatch, which is what I've been using right next to my bedside.
Tinks
Yes, I got one which has this.
Jay Shetty
Natural light alarm that wakes you up. And again, I hate the word alarm. Let's just think about this for a second. The only time an alarm helps you is when there's a fire or when there's something going wrong. Which means the fact that you wake up to an alarm or an alert means something bad's about to happen. So if your alarm tone doesn't fill you with calm or fill you with stillness, change it. The second thing I'd say is that that morning, five minutes, 30 minutes if you can, is so powerful. And I'll tell you why. Your brain's just waking up. You would never let 100 people into the bedroom of your mind, right? Just think about that for a second. You would never let 100 people into your bedroom before you've brushed your teeth, washed your hair, or put on your makeup. But me and you, all of us, let in 100 people into the bedroom of our mind as soon as we pick up our phone. Now, all of a sudden, imagine 100 people your family, your friends, your boss crowded around your bed, yelling things you. Did you get that report in? Oh, what do you think of this picture I'm about to post? Oh, you forgot to wish your uncle a happy birthday. Right. Whatever it is. And all of a sudden, everyone's yelling at you, and your day starting on a negative, your day starting on being reactive. So what I try and focus on doing, especially with news, because that's what your question was about. I believe it's so important that news doesn't find us.
Tinks
Wow.
Jay Shetty
I think we live in a world where most of us don't find news or look for news. News finds us, which means it appears on our feed. It means we have the news channel on our television at home or on a screen open on our laptop without us even wanting it. We don't go and search for it. It's just there in the background of our life. And if news is the background of your life, tragedy is at the forefront of your life. That's the first thing you're seeing. And so what I'd say to people is, be really clear about who you get your news from, what time of day you feel comfortable consuming news. When someone tells me they have anxiety, the first two questions I ask them is, what did you watch last night?
Tinks
Wow.
Jay Shetty
And when did you last consume the news? Those are the telltale signs. They tell me they watched a murder mystery last night or something like that or some true crime. And then they tell me they just checked the news. So I'm not telling you to not be informed. We're trying to save you from being overwhelmed. So for me, I find the time I'm best at dealing with the news is three hours after I've woken up.
Tinks
Okay.
Jay Shetty
Because that gives me the time to set my day up so that I have a strong foundation and a strong place from which to process difficult, sad, tough, challenging news, as opposed to if I'm looking at it immediately now, I'm already thinking, gosh, today's gonna be the worst day. This is terrible. Where's everything going? I haven't had a moment. And it's almost like thinking about it from the perspective of when do you feel comfortable dealing with something challenging? When do you feel strong enough to say, okay, I'm ready to deal with the day now. And I think for me, that takes three hours to do it. And I don't try and do it just before I go to bed either, because that's really challenging. So pick who you read your news from. Find your news. Don't Let it find you. Be really clear about what type of news do you like social media news, or do you actually prefer reading news from a website? And do you like watching the news on tv or are you someone who actually just wants to read a newsletter? I think it's so important that we trade and make these choices rather than letting the news bombard us when it wants, how it wants, and wherever it wants.
Tinks
That was really helpful, practical advice. I really like finding the news versus letting it find you. I. Because I. I've personally been struggling with that too, and I really, really like that. And the timing thing, I'm really bad about the phone first thing in the morning, and I need to fix that because it's just such a. It is such a clear difference. When you don't do the phone first thing, you feel better. And you, you know, we lie to ourselves. We say, oh, well, maybe something happened overnight that I need to know. Nothing happened. Nothing. It. It's exactly what you said. It's, you forgot to wish your uncle happy birthday. Your boss needs something. Nothing happened like you would know. And I think that's a big lie I tell myself. And I really want to be better about that.
Jay Shetty
And we all do that. I empathize with that tinks like, I think that's real, especially for those of us who live away from family who are not close. I know my wife feels that way. Yeah, it's a real thing. So I want to validate that. I don't think it makes you weak or not strong. I think we all have that. And I think the reality is, let's find a way of getting that news, that very, very important news, whether it is you going back to having a landline or whether it is you having two separate phones, one you wake up with near your bed that only your emergency contact and your family member has access to, and nothing else is on there. There's ways of doing it in a way that protects us and protects the people we love. So I don't want to, you know, invalidate that feeling because that's real as well.
Tinks
Totally. Okay. So on the topic of morning routines, I feel like you're a guy who has a very. I need to know in detail the morning routine. Like, aside from no phone, walk me through waking up the first hour, couple hours.
Jay Shetty
So I'll walk you through my morning routine and then I'll break it down into how I think people can use it.
Tinks
Okay.
Jay Shetty
Because I don't think my morning routine should be a standard. And no, no one's morning Routine should be a standard. So I wake up around 6am every day. That's my time that I feel happy and comfortable doing consistently. That's five days a week. I always look at every routine in my life as five days a week. I don't believe it has to apply to my weekends because I feel that there's a recovery and rest that's massively needed on a weekend or whatever your weekend tends to be. So my I wake up at 6am, I'm usually in my meditation room meditating by 6:15. And so 6 to 6:15 is brushing my teeth, showering, just getting ready, putting on some comfy clothes and, and for me, the thing that's helped me most in the morning is I have a little post it note next to my bed and I'll put different questions on it that mean something to me. So the first thing I see in the morning is a question. And the questions as simple as what are you grateful for today? Or the question is what are you excited about today? Or the question is how are you feeling? And what I find is those questions allow me to start off the day proactively about me rather than reactively to everything I have to do. And so those, those post it notes remind me to be, before I do anything, who do I want to be? What is my being about today? The question could say who? What are you hoping to channel today? And I can say love or kindness or whatever it may be. And all of a sudden I'm set for the day. And then I'll put on some. It could be bird sounds, it could be mantra music, it could be something that's super calming, almost like spa music. Like I'll be literally getting ready to that. And then 6:15 I'm meditating. So I meditate for one and a half hours to two hours every day. Usually an hour and a half is in the morning. So 6:15 to 7:45 I'm measured meditating. And then 8am I start working out. And so 8am to 9am I'm working out.
Tinks
What's your workout?
Jay Shetty
It's changed over time. It used to be tennis, it's been pickleball, it was hiking. Now it's strength training. Because every podcast guest I talk to keeps talking about truly value of strength. And I'm in that decade that everything matters in. So all I've been doing is strength training for the past six months now, probably consistently, but three, probably really consistently. And so that becomes an hour and then 9:00am I, I start, I eat some breakfast and Start my day and it's a savory breakfast. Because I've had too many guests talk about glucose spikes. So my whole life is a savory breakfast. So by 9am that's when I feel I have a strong foundation to start my day.
Tinks
I love that. I know so many people talk about the savory breakfast.
Jay Shetty
It's huge.
Tinks
It's huge. I know. And again, you feel the difference. I think the annoying thing about all of this stuff is that it really does work. And then so it's just like, I try to be so real with my community and pass on these tips and talk to experts like you, but, you know, sometimes you fall off, and that's okay. And so I really like what you said about the weekends too, because I think when you're only looking at something for doing it five days or four days or whatever, you know, your week looks like it's nice because then you have a little bit of that leeway time, and it's okay. It's okay. I think with all of these practices that are, you know, aimed to make us feel better, I think the point is they have to make us feel better. So it's like if your routine is getting to a point where, you know, it's not sustainable, you guys, it's okay to be like, okay, well, I need to change this. I need an extra half hour of sleep. I like what you said about, you know, that's when you're comfortable, you know, you have to figure it out. And that's. It also changes over time, too. So I like that.
Yeah, you want it to be the.
Jay Shetty
Exception and not the rule. I look at it as 70%.
Tinks
Yeah.
Jay Shetty
I want 70% of my week to be as optimal, as healthy as possible.
Tinks
Yeah.
Jay Shetty
And then the 25 to 30% that's left over, I'm okay for that to be more mixed up. So five days a week, I'll have a savory breakfast. It does make a difference. As someone coming from a former sugar addict. Right. Like, I used to wake up wanting to eat a sugary breakfast and then eat something sugary at lunch and then have something sugary in the evening. Having a savory breakfast has completely curbed that desire. And it's setting me up not to have those crazy crashes later on in the day. And now my energy is actually sustained throughout the day as well.
Tinks
I love Glucose Goddess.
Jay Shetty
Yeah, me too. Love Jesse, her book.
Tinks
And, like, I, you know, that is something. I haven't met her in person, but her teachings really had an impact on the way that I eat. And again, I've fallen off right now. I'm kind of in an off period. But just having that knowledge is so helpful. I really think she's smart.
Jay Shetty
I agree.
Tinks
Okay, switching gears a little bit. You have this super, super successful podcast. What's one interview that took you by surprise?
Jay Shetty
I'm waiting for you to come on Tank.
Tinks
Okay, well, I know we need to do it. We need to do it.
Jay Shetty
Say that again. What's a.
Tinks
What's an interview or a guest that took you by surprise?
Jay Shetty
Oh, that's a great question. Who took me by surprise? I'd say the person who took me most by surprise was Brian Chesky, who's the founder of Airbnb and the CEO of Airbnb. And the reason is because I thought that he might have the archetype of a tech founder, because that's what he's done. And so I wasn't sure. And I try very hard to not go in to any interview having any judgment.
Tinks
Sure.
Jay Shetty
But at the same time, there's a certain archetype that you expect to meet or that you expect to converse with. And when I met him, I realized that he's an artist and a designer in a tech person's body. Have you've met Brian?
Tinks
I've met Brian, and it's so true. And I listened to that interview, and it was a great interview. You really. It was an amazing conversation between you two.
Jay Shetty
Thank you.
Tinks
Yeah, it's easily one of my favorites.
Jay Shetty
Because I think it's shows you. I think there's a lot of people out there right now who are artists and designers who are thinking, well, I can't find a company or a build a tech company, or I can't work at a company like that because I don't know coding or engineering. And it's like, well, no, no, no, no, no. You can be an artist in a tech company. That's what Steve Jobs was. That's what Brian Chesky is. And that's why I love Brian so much. He reminded me of the closest thing we have to a Steve Jobs visionary type of someone who just thinks so outside the box. And he was super vulnerable about his love life, his relationships. He's 40 years old, he's a billionaire, but he was looking for love. And I thought it was so brave of him to be so open about that. And, yeah, I love him. He's become a great friend. He's an awesome guy.
Tinks
So great.
Jay Shetty
Yeah, that was the most surprising.
Tinks
Yeah. You go really deep with your guests. Do you ever find yourself getting emotional when you're interviewing people?
Jay Shetty
I'm one. I can get really emotional. Like, I think the most emotional I get is at weddings. I was just at my friend's wedding two weeks ago.
Tinks
Okay.
Jay Shetty
And this was a wedding I was just attending. But when I'm officiating weddings, I'm so scared that I'm going to ruin the ceremony because I'm going to cry. So I've got to stand there in my head. I'm going, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. And that's what I do in the podcast, too, because I feel that people are so genuinely expressing something that they may never have shared somewhere else before, or it's really hard and courageous and brave of them to go there. And my heart, I almost feel like crying sometimes, or I'd have to stop myself from crying, because I'm not even crying because of what they're sharing. So emotional. It's because I respect the bravery. I respect the courage it takes to put your life out there. And you do that. I respect you for doing it. So many of our peers, so many of our friends do that. I respect them for doing it because it's a really courageous act. It's a really difficult thing to do. And so my tears are almost preempting the fact that when you open up, there's gonna be so many different reactions and responses, and I feel really grateful that people trust me to do that with. And, I mean, you know. Yeah, I think one that was amazing was Tom Holland when he opened about his sobriety journey.
Tinks
That was another one I listened to. That was great.
Jay Shetty
And it was just amazing because the amount, the hundreds of thousands of messages we've had from that episode saying, you helped me or Tom helped me get through my sobriety or get back on or have more grace for myself. And then you cry because of that message, because you're thinking about all the people that are affected. So there's a lot of crying in private, because I know it's great.
Tinks
I think it's great. I think you people feel really safe with you, and I think your vulnerability, like, inspires vulnerability in your guests. So it's just really, really, really good work. Okay, so if someone was new to your podcast, what's a standout interview that they should start with?
I couldn't be more excited to share something truly special with all you tea lovers out there. And even if you don't love tea, if you love refreshing, rejuvenating, refueling sodas, that are good for you.
Jay Shetty
Listen to this.
Tinks
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Jay Shetty
The code on purpose. I would have said Brian, but now that I've said it already, let me think.
Tinks
You've interviewed everyone. Amazing.
Jay Shetty
Which one have you listened? It sounds like you've been listening, so.
Tinks
I'm like, let me get your thoughts, too. No, I think. I think that I thought that Brian was great, that Tom one is great. My friend Claudia was just on your podcast.
Jay Shetty
She's awesome.
Tinks
She was great and was super vulnerable, which is a side of her that people don't see that often. So it was great.
Yeah, Claudia was amazing.
Jay Shetty
She was exactly like what I was just describing. I had to hold back my tears. I'd say if someone was new to my podcast and they had to listen to one, it's such a great question. Let me think. I want to give a really thoughtful answer to one that would really have an impact. Oh, there's a couple that I think I really loved. One that I'd say that stands out to me, and I say it because it was such a shifting moment for our show. It was Kendall Jenner on the show, and it's because she hadn't really done that many interviews at that time, and she hadn't really. I don't even know if she'd done a podcast at that time.
Tinks
And she doesn't really.
Jay Shetty
And she doesn't really have this amazing conversation. And it was such a pivotal moment for the show that. That it stands out for me. And so I'd say listen to that one. And. Yeah, yeah.
Tinks
Who's someone you haven't interviewed? Who you still want to interview?
Jay Shetty
I'm waiting for you. I already said.
Tinks
Of course. Of course.
Jay Shetty
Anyone. I mean that. I genuinely mean that. Waiting for you. And then, I mean, I've always said my number one pick is Cristiano Ronaldo.
Tinks
Oh, my God, that would be amazing.
Jay Shetty
That's my number one pick.
Tinks
I'll manifest for you because I would love to listen to that conversation. I really don't. I don't think I've seen him in many interviews.
Jay Shetty
He hasn't. It's. It's definitely a language barrier too, of course. Wanting to get the best out of him. He's had, he's had a couple of great ones over 10 years ago now. Interviews that really spoke to him. So, yeah, that's. And I'm a Manchester United fan.
Tinks
Okay.
Jay Shetty
I would be like high fiving my 15 year old self, of course.
Tinks
And so I love that.
Jay Shetty
I'll do that.
Tinks
Okay, so you talk a lot about love, so I want to get your opinion on a few things. So do you think that, that we all have one soulmate or multiple loves of your life? This is a debate we have in my community all the time.
Jay Shetty
I love that. I think you'll fall in love with three different people in your life.
Tinks
Ooh. Okay.
Jay Shetty
The first is the firework. It's big, it's loud, it lights up the sky, but it fades away. The second is the candle. It's slower, it's quieter, it has a longer shelf life. But eventually you might leave it because it doesn't have the spark. And the third one is the mirror, the one that shows you all your flaws, shows you a reflection and shows you who you truly are. And the firework will probably fade off its own accord, or the firework will probably fade itself. The candle you might leave before it fades. And the mirror, you might think it's broken because you don't like what you see. And so I think we often hop and jump and skip between all three of these because it doesn't fulfill one part of us. One doesn't have the spark, one doesn't have the longevity. And one is too honest. And I think I've been in love with all three in my life. What I found was that the mirror was the most powerful one because as soon as I didn't realize the mirror was broken and it was showing me exactly who I am, which is what my wife's done for me. And as long as the Person holding the mirror is compassionate and empathetic and not shoving it in your face, but holding it kindly there. It can be the most beautiful relationship that you'll ever have. But I don't believe in the one soulmate that you're destined to be with, because I really think that there's a soulmate for each frequency you operate at. So there's a soulmate for your lowest frequency, which when you're operating on that frequency, you'll find really attractive. But as soon as you upgrade to your mid frequency, you'll think to yourself, how was I ever with that person? And then you have that frequency, and then you have your soulmate of your highest frequency, which you could argue is your ultimate soulmate. But that requires you to step up. You have to do the work and do that work. And so I think you'll find a soulmate. And if you think about even the word soulmate, I really believe that a soulmate is a mate for your soul. And that could be a friend, it could be a romantic partner. And that lower vibration, that lower frequency soulmate is almost like a cellmate, a prison mate.
Tinks
I love that.
Jay Shetty
That kind of keeps you stuck. And I think a lot of us can empathize with having lived with a cellmate for some time where you thought you were in love, but actually you were in prison and you were being held back from your potential. You were being trapped based on what you believed was possible for you. And maybe you settled for less than you deserve because you believe that was your soulmate and cellmate for life. And so I want people to be much more freer with knowing that your real partner is out there. And they're not this perfect person and they're not this person that has it all together.
Tinks
And they're not going to show you.
Jay Shetty
The best parts of yourself either. This idea that the best person will bring out the best of me, they'll show you the worst of you so that you can bring out the best of yourself. That's what we're trying to work on, and my wife's definitely done that for me. The key is they do it in a non judgmental, empathetic, and loving way, not in a way that's like, I see all your flaws and pointing them out in a manipulative or controlling way.
Tinks
Sure, sure. How long have you guys been married?
Jay Shetty
We've been married this year for nine years and together for 12.
Tinks
How'd you guys meet?
Jay Shetty
Oh, gosh. So we tell the full story on the first ever episode of my podcast. So that actually, if you want to know. Yeah, that's the first one. Start with that. Yeah, that's probably the right answer.
Tinks
I love that.
Jay Shetty
Okay. But, yeah, we. We met before I became a monk.
Tinks
Okay.
Jay Shetty
I was serving at my local temple in London because I was training in my final year of a college, knowing that I was going to do that. And I met a woman who was around my mom's age, and I was asked to show her around with some chores and services. And I showed her around, and at the end of it, she said, I have a daughter that I'd love to introduce to meditation and spirituality. She's around your age. Would you connect with her? And I said, well, I'm gonna become a monk, so I'll introduce her to my sister because they were a similar age. That happens to be my wife's mum.
Tinks
No.
Jay Shetty
And she brought in my wife like a week later to introduce me to her. I'd ask my sister to come along. I saw my wife. This is, like, years ago now. I thought she was absolutely stunning and beautiful and was like, no, focus on being a monk. Focus, focus, focus. And then when I came back from being a monk three years later, her and my sister were best friends. And so my sister was. Was our matchmaker in the end. That's the short version.
Tinks
Beautiful. That's beautiful. I think a lot of people listening to that story who are single might think, I would love to meet someone organically like that. That's the dream, you know, that doesn't happen anymore. So I'm curious what you would say to someone who is having that thought. And then secondly, if you could give your thoughts on dating apps, because I think a lot of people in my community are feeling pretty drained from them right now. And, you know, my. My belief is that things like your story, natural connections, meeting people still happen. And the dating apps can be great, but they've also made us believe that that stuff doesn't happen, but it does. Like, we still go live in the world. We still meet someone's mom who has a cute daughter. Like, we still do all that stuff. So I'm just curious your thoughts.
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Tinks
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Jay Shetty
Yeah, I think times are changing too like, if you look at it, 25, 30, maybe even longer now. You know, 50 years ago, most people met someone who lived in one mile radius from where they grew up, Right? So you'd get introduced to someone through your parents or through your friends, or maybe you'll bump into them while walking to your building or whatever it was. And I think we always romanticize things in the past.
Tinks
Okay.
Jay Shetty
And I want to point that out because I think we all have this. And by the way, we have this as humans. We always say, the good old days. In my time, things were amazing. And, you know, you're old when you start saying stuff like that. Like, oh, the music when I grew up was really better than today's music. I see that.
Tinks
By the way, 20 years from now.
Jay Shetty
People will be saying that about Sabrina Carpenter and being like, when I had, you know.
Tinks
Yeah.
Jay Shetty
And so it's like the same thing that goes round and round. And so, first of all, I like to just cut out this nostalgic false belief, because what it does is it gives you a safety blanket of being like, oh, back in the day, things were amazing. Today, it's worse.
Tinks
And I think.
Jay Shetty
I mean, you could look at that. You could cut that and slice that both ways in the world and not. There'll be plenty of historians and researchers who say today's better than ever, and some will say it's harder than ever. And ultimately, when it comes to dating, I think the point is that mindset doesn't help. And so, yes, I really believe that what people are looking for. And I did this last week, so it's funny you ask. I became match's relationship advisor, Match.com's relationship advisor last year. And the reason I did that was because I developed a core values test in my book eight rules of Love, two years ago. And I wanted to partner with an app that would help people Match based on core values. My goal wasn't that you should have the same values. My goal was your values should be something you're aware of. I think too many people are with people that they find out their values three years later.
Tinks
Wow.
Jay Shetty
Oh, my gosh. You wanted to have kids. I had no idea.
Tinks
Yeah.
Jay Shetty
Oh, really? You wanted to become an entrepreneur and quit your steady job? I had no idea. Oh, I didn't realize you actually want to live in the farm and not at the city. Like, no idea. We're just so unaware of these very big things about someone. And so we did this event last week in L. A on Thursday night. It was for 100 singles in L. A. Wow. And I was really excited to see how it went. And the goal was for people to meet in person, but with that ethos. And I started out with this experiment where I was standing in the middle of the room, I was surrounded by 100 singles, and I read out loud I statements. And if it applied to them, they had to step forward. And if it didn't apply to them, they stood where they were. Okay, so imagine 100 people surrounded. And I read out the first one, which was something like, I consistently miss red flags. And a bunch of people stepped forward. I asked them what red flags they missed, and people were honest, but tiptoeing.
Tinks
Sure.
Jay Shetty
And then I asked another question, and it got deeper every time. So the next question I asked was something like, I sometimes forget my friends in a relationship, so when I'm dating someone, I forget about my friendships. And it was so funny because this group of girls were there with their friend, and they all pushed this friend forward. Oh, my God. And I loved the honesty. I was like, this is hilarious. And all three of the friends were like, yeah, she always does that. And then I gave her the mic, and she goes, yes, I'm the friend that leaves my friend.
Tinks
And I was like, how beautiful.
Jay Shetty
And then it got really deep. And then I asked the question, I've been cheated on by an ex. And people stepped forward and shared.
Tinks
The reason I'm sharing this is what.
Jay Shetty
I found, was that all of these people at every stage were willing to be vulnerable. It took a second, it took a beat, it took a moment. It wasn't straight off the bat. People tiptoed forward at the start. At the end, people were coming forward and opening their hearts. And what I realized is that the reason why we think online dating doesn't work is because we want instant intimacy. We want instant vulnerability. We want instant openness. And even that night, I had to wait and be patient for people to feel safe with me, with each other, with the space. And I think that's what we should be focusing on is can I create a safe space where someone feels they can be that way with me? The other thing I'd say for anyone who's feeling exhausted with the apps again is I'm not surprised. Of course you are. It's exhausting to be rejected, Reject, accept, move forward, ghosted, whatever it may be, everything in between.
Tinks
But I'd say the real challenge is.
Jay Shetty
Not the app, and it's our mindset. And what I mean by that is, we live. When we're dating, we live in One of two states. We're either passive. So we say things like, it will happen when it happens. I'm not worried right now. Secretly, we're really scared and insecure and pretending, right? And the other side is, we're pressured. Oh, my gosh, did you see that person just got engaged. I'm 35. How am I still single? There's all this pressure. So we live in being passive or feeling pressure. And really, what I was saying to everyone that night and what my goal for everyone listening today would be is I want you to be in a state of peace. Peace with your past, peace with your present, and peace about your future. Because guess what? Pressure doesn't attract love. How could pressure ever attract love? And how could being passive ever attract love? So how do you get peace? Peace is saying, I know what happened in my past wasn't a waste of time. It hurt, it was painful, it was the worst. But it wasn't a waste of time because it showed me who I don't wanna be with and who I don't wanna become. And by the way, I'm not going to put pressure on myself because I actually believe that when I live in a state of peace and calm, I'm now operating at that frequency that attracts a peaceful and calming relationship into my life. Whereas if I feel pressure, I'll attract drama, and if I'm passive, I'll attract trauma. But if I'm at peace, I'll attract someone who's calm and I'll attract someone who's matching my frequency. Yeah, sorry, go.
Tinks
No, I. I'm nodding. If you're listening to this, I'm nodding. Crazy. In a crazy way. Because I agree so much. I think I'm at peace. I really do. I had a dating coach. I feel like I'm a piece. I know. I think the dating coach I had on recently, and she was like, maybe you're. You're secretly, like. Because I said something like, I'm really. I said something like, if. When it happens, it will happen. But I genuinely feel very at peace for the first time. Really in the past. I don't know. Only like the past couple months. I feel really good. Like, I feel so. You know, as you said, my past is my past for a reason. It got me to where I am today and in the future. You know, I'm excited, but I'm also just grateful for where I am now. I think a big problem that I have with the dating culture and, like, the way that we view finding the one or whatever partner is that it really, like, encourages people to forget, to be grateful for where they are. And for me, I focus so much on creating a life that I love so that, you know, to your previous point, that I'm vibrating at my highest point that I can be, so that, you know, I love the saying, like, water seeks its own level. And so I always think about that. I'm like, I want to be up here when I run into another person who I'm compatible with, and they're up here. But, yeah, I don't know. I wonder. I wonder. Do you think I'm at peace, Caroline? You do? I think really I am for the. For the. For the first time, which is cool. It's. It's a nice place to be. But I think I feel it in.
Jay Shetty
I feel it for whatever it's worth in your presence today, for sure. And also, I was going to say that I love what you're saying, because a lot of the times people say, well, how do I know it's love? And if you're already living a life you love, you'll know it's love totally. Because you're already living at that level. Everything is operating at the vibration and frequency of love. So when something new comes in, you actually know what frequency it's vibrating at exactly. You won't have to guess anymore because it makes sense. It aligns, you know, whether it's jealousy, lust, envy, confusion, whatever it may be, because you already love everything that's going on. But if you're hating everything that's going on now, everything feels like love.
Tinks
So.
Jay Shetty
Because everything feels better than where you're at.
Tinks
Wow, I really like that. That's actually so true. And I think that apply. That will resonate with so many people. I. I know for me in my 20s, that was so the case. I was desperate, desperate to have a boyfriend because I didn't really like myself and I didn't really like my life. I felt like I wasn't living up to my potential. I didn't feel creatively fulfilled. I didn't like myself as a person. And instead of dealing with all those things, I was like, how can I get a boyfriend? Need to chase boys, need a boyfriend, Need a boyfriend to validate. To validate my existence. And it's such a great turning point when you can stop and kind of pivot in your life and think and really focus on, you know, loving yourself and being loved to your point. So when it comes in, you'll know.
Jay Shetty
Yeah, you recognize it.
Tinks
I love that. Yeah, I love that so much. So you're gearing up for a massive live tour. What can people expect from this tour? It's so exciting.
Jay Shetty
I'm very excited. It's the first time in six years since we launched the podcast that I actually get to go do this on stage across North America to start with. And I think people expect surprise guests in every city. Love some of your favorites, some absolutely new ones. So really, really excited about that. People can expect to actually have a human connection. I want everyone to be able to ask questions. I want to make it really interactive. People will be able to come and be a part of the experience. And I want people to leave there with community. I think that's something that I found when I'm touring. That's different, is that people don't walk out of that room with the same people they came with. They're walking around having conversations with people next to them. If you think about it, everyone in that room is going to be someone who listens to on purpose, right? They're listening every day, they're listening every week, they're listening every month. Imagine being in the same space and now you're not walking or you're not in your kitchen or you're not at the gym. You're actually in this same space listening to the conversation. I can't imagine what kind of connections will come out of that. So I think it's going to be super exciting. It's going to be meaningful. I'm going to be leading meditations on stage, so for anyone who's been struggling, I'll be guiding those meditations as well. I think it's going to be a really meaningful, impactful evening. And I can't wait. I'm so excited.
Tinks
Exciting. What's the hardest part of doing a huge show and, like, planning something at this scale? Do you get nervous? I can't imagine you do, but what's there any challenges that you're looking forward to overcoming?
Jay Shetty
So I went on a world tour two years ago, so we did nearly 40 cities in, like, three, four months. And that was much harder than I expected it to be. And I have a lot of clients who are musicians who tour and do like 100, 150 shows, 200 shows. And they always used to tell me that they'd be exhausted by Show50. And so I didn't even do 50 shows. So I can really empathize with people who tour that long. To me, it becomes about everything is sacrificed. And I don't mean that as like, oh, my God, I'm sacrificing everything is about the craft. So for example, when I was on tour last time, my day would start around 2 or 4pm for working. I mean, it would start later because I'd start with a group meditation for people who'd opted in for the big meditation, the smaller meditation. I'd start a Q and a session for that group. Then the show would start at like 7:30. So I'd stop eating at midday and then I wouldn't eat until midnight.
Tinks
Wow.
Jay Shetty
And then I'd wake up, jump on a plane and go and do it all over again in another place. And so I never went out at night. I never went out to a restaurant because I was on vocal rest. And so to me the key is for that time you've got to be totally zoned in.
Tinks
And I love that.
Jay Shetty
I really enjoy it. I think about it like an athlete at the championships or super bowl, whatever it is, where it's like, you've just got to be focused on that one thing. And there's a beautiful thing that comes out of that. You get really in the zone. You recognize what talents and skills you have, you recognize your ability to fast that. I didn't know I could do that anymore for that long. And so it was just like a really beautiful reminder to build different muscles and build different strengths and find a new sense of confidence. And so yeah, everyone's always like, did you travel to this place? What did you see? I'm like, I didn't see it.
Tinks
You're like, I saw my hotel room.
Jay Shetty
Yeah, I saw my hotel room. I saw a plane.
Tinks
Sure.
Jay Shetty
And I saw the venue and. And I love that I don't have any. That's beautiful. Like that's what it's for.
Tinks
Yeah.
Jay Shetty
I'm not traveling for pleasure. I'm traveling to serve. And it's. Yeah, it's really exciting.
Tinks
That's. I love that. Okay, before we go, I have to ask you, do you have any guilty pleasures like junk food move villain TV shows? When you're like, you know what? I'm going to treat myself like, what do you do?
Jay Shetty
So there's this place in LA called Mr. Charlie's.
Tinks
Okay.
Jay Shetty
Basically plant based McDonald's.
Tinks
Oh, wow.
Jay Shetty
So they do chicken nuggets, they do a chicken sandwich. It's plant based. They do the fries and like I've now got to once every two weeks. I need that.
Tinks
Okay.
Jay Shetty
It was once every week. So now I've got to once every two weeks. And then I'm a. I love Van Leeuwen because they're so, yeah, and so my, my Van Leeuwen order, my wife believes this should be on their menu because I have a very specific order. So I go and get a double chocolate fudge brownie, scoop of ice cream with hot fudge on top with sprinkles, cookie crumble, honeycomb candy, and I think that's about it. Okay, so those are my two food guilty pleasures.
Tinks
I love that.
Jay Shetty
Every two weeks. I'll do that now on One Day Together.
Tinks
Yeah.
Jay Shetty
So that day, Glucose goddess. Ignore it. Don't. Just don't talk to Jesse for a week. Pretend like it didn't happen. And then TV wise, I find, like, no, I think I watch good stuff. I mean, like, I just watched White Lois, the new episode came out. But that's not good to play this. I love that. Yeah, this year it used to definitely.
Tinks
Like, at one point, I would never.
Jay Shetty
Miss an episode of Selling Sunset.
Tinks
Wait, I love that.
Jay Shetty
Okay, But I love real estate, so I would skip and I was telling Jason, I met Jason recently and I was telling him, I was like, I love selling Sunset, but I always skip to all the homes because I love properties and real estate. He's like, yeah, that's what every guy says. And so I was like, all right, Jason, thanks for judging me. But. But it's true. So, yeah, that's what I love.
Tinks
I love that. Okay, well, Van Leeuwen, if you're listening, we need the Jay Shetty on the menu. That's crazy. That hasn't happened yet. Jay, thank you for coming on. This was so meaningful and I just, I think you are so wise and I love your energy. Where can people find you and where can people get tickets for the tour?
Jay Shetty
Yeah, I'd love for people to come see me on tour. It's jshetty Me Forward Slash Tour. Jetty Dot Me Forward Slash Tour. And then you can find me on tik tok, Instagram, YouTube, wherever you watch social and. And then on any podcast app, iHeart, Sirius and all the other ones, Apple, Spotify, everything. So, yeah, beautiful. Thanks. And honestly, I had such a great time. That was one of my favorite conversations I've had. And you are the best and on purpose is waiting for you.
Tinks
Thank you.
Jay Shetty
I love it. We look forward to having you on the show.
Tinks
Thank you so much. Thanks for listening, guys. Bye.
Jay Shetty
Bye.
Tinks
If you love this episode, you will also love my interview with Kendall Jenner on setting boundaries to increase happiness and healing your inner child.
You could be reading something that someone is saying about you and being like that is so unfair. Because that's not who I am. And that really gets to me sometimes. But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like, but I know who I am. Why does anything else matter?
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Jay Shetty
The other way around.
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Just update your Indeed profile with your skills, experience and salary expectations and you'll automatically be matched with jobs that fit what you're looking for. In so many of my conversations with executives, entrepreneurs, and creatives, I hear the same thing. I've hit a wall. Not because they're failing, but because they've outgrown where they are. And that moment, while uncomfortable, is often the beginning of real change. That's what's so great about an Indeed profile. It helps you articulate your valuable skills and goals so better work can find you. When that happens, the work can work better for everyone. This episode of On Purpose is brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. I believe that travel is one of the greatest gifts that we've ever been given, and Chase Sapphire Reserve has been my gateway to the world's most captivating destinations. When I use my Chase Sapphire Reserve card, I get three times points on travel and dining and even access to one of a kind experiences like music festivals and sports events. And that's not even mentioning how the card gets me into the Sapphire Lounge by the Club at select airports nationwide. Travel is more rewarding with Chase Sapphire Reserve.
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Episode Summary: "Stop Chasing Love! (How to Shift Your Mindset to Start Attracting It)" with Tinks
Podcast Information:
The episode opens with Jay Shetty introducing a special format where he becomes the guest on Tinks' show, Office Hours. This unique setup allows for a deep dive into topics such as relationships, dating, and managing life's stresses. Jay emphasizes that the questions discussed resonate with many listeners' personal struggles, making the episode highly relevant for those navigating relationship challenges, breakups, or significant life transitions.
[04:35] Jay Shetty shares his role as the Chief Purpose Officer at Calm, highlighting his collaboration with the app's founders, Michael Acton Smith and Alex. Over the past three years, Jay has been contributing to Calm by recording seven-minute meditations five days a week.
Jay Shetty [05:03]: "It's been incredible to record a seven-minute meditation five days a week, every week for the last three years."
He underscores the importance of viewing meditation not as a mandatory task but as a practical, lived experience. Jay narrates a poignant story from his time in a monastery, where a young monk taught him that mastering one's breath is equivalent to mastering life. This insight shapes his approach to teaching meditation as a holistic, sensory experience rather than a purely mental exercise.
Jay Shetty [07:11]: "We all require and demand so much of our bodies. And so for anyone who's struggling to start with meditation, my tiny request is just notice how you inhale and notice how you exhale."
Jay introduces three types of meditation: breathwork, visualization, and mantra, all of which he was trained in during his monastic years. He provides a guided exercise during the episode, encouraging listeners to place their left palm on their stomachs and focus on their breathing. This hands-on approach helps demystify meditation and makes it more accessible.
Jay Shetty [10:22]: "What I like to remind people is that meditation is a very physical, feelable thing."
[14:10] The conversation shifts to the overwhelming influx of news and its impact on mental health. Jay highlights the staggering amount of information we consume daily, equating it to reading 100,000 words or watching 25 episodes of a TV series back-to-back.
Jay Shetty [15:15]: "We consume around 34 gigabytes of data per day. It's like watching 25 episodes of Stranger Things in one day."
He introduces the concept of the "Four N's"—Notifications, Negativity, News, and Noise—which collectively drain our energy and leave us feeling overwhelmed. To combat this, Jay suggests adopting a morning routine that excludes phone usage, allowing for a calm and focused start to the day.
Jay Shetty [17:13]: "News doesn't find us. We live in a world where most of us don't find news or look for news. News finds us."
[21:04] Jay details his personal morning routine, emphasizing consistency and sustainability. He wakes up at 6 AM, engages in meditation from 6:15 AM to 7:45 AM, and incorporates strength training into his schedule. Jay also incorporates reflective questions each morning to set a proactive tone for the day.
Jay Shetty [24:53]: "I want 70% of my week to be as optimal, as healthy as possible."
Jay discusses memorable interviews from his podcast, highlighting conversations with Brian Chesky, the founder of Airbnb, and Tom Holland, who opened up about his sobriety journey. These interactions showcase his ability to delve deep into personal stories, fostering genuine connections and emotional responses.
Jay Shetty [27:49]: "Many of our peers... express something they may never have shared somewhere else before."
[33:17] Jay explores the concept of soulmates, proposing that individuals may experience love with multiple people throughout their lives. He categorizes these relationships into three types: the Firework (passionate but fleeting), the Candle (steady but lacks spark), and the Mirror (reflective and growth-oriented).
Jay Shetty [35:56]: "I don't believe in the one soulmate that you're destined to be with... there's a soulmate for each frequency you operate at."
He emphasizes the importance of finding a partner who complements one's current personal growth and frequency, rather than searching for an elusive, perfect match.
Jay shares details about his upcoming live tour across North America, designed to offer in-person experiences that foster growth, learning, and community building. He reflects on the challenges of touring, drawing parallels between podcasting and athletic discipline, and underscores the importance of focus and preparation.
Jay Shetty [51:34]: "When you're on tour, it becomes about everything you have to be totally zoned in."
In the final segments, Jay and Tinks discuss personal habits, guilty pleasures, and the importance of maintaining balance. Jay shares his love for plant-based fast food and ice cream, highlighting how even those dedicated to personal growth indulge in simple pleasures.
Jay Shetty [55:06]: "I'm not traveling for pleasure. I'm traveling to serve."
The episode concludes with Jay directing listeners to his tour website and social media channels, encouraging continued engagement and connection.
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Conclusion: In this episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, listeners are guided through transformative discussions on meditation, managing information overload, building sustainable routines, and redefining relationships. Jay’s insights offer practical strategies for shifting mindsets to attract love and foster personal growth, making this episode a valuable resource for anyone seeking deeper fulfillment in their personal and relational lives.