Podcast Summary: On the Bus with Troy Vollhoffer

Episode Title: Lessons in Rejection with Gavin DeGraw
Date: December 18, 2025
Host: Troy Vollhoffer (Country Thunder)
Guest: Gavin DeGraw

Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, Troy Vollhoffer welcomes singer-songwriter Gavin DeGraw for an intimate conversation about his journey through music, dealing with rejection, maintaining integrity, and supporting the military community. Gavin shares stories from his upbringing in the Catskills, the pivotal moments that shaped his career, lessons learned from his family, brushes with industry legends, and his continued love for performing. His candid discussion on signing (and refusing) music deals, breaking out with "I Don’t Want To Be," and the realities of show business offers both inspiration and valuable insights for aspiring artists.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Military Connection and Supporting Troops

[01:23–02:54]

• Gavin visits Nashville to play for the 250th anniversary of the U.S. military, sharing his family’s military background.

• His father served during the Vietnam era and left early to care for his own father, a WWII vet.

• Gavin expresses deep respect for those who "do a harder thing for the rest of the public."

  “I love doing it. I feel like there's a percentage of the public that goes and does a harder thing for the rest of the public.”
  — Gavin DeGraw [02:18]

• Highlights how artists from all political backgrounds support the military, despite assumptions.

2. Roots in the Catskills and Musical Upbringing

[02:59–05:38]

• Grew up in the Catskill Mountains, an area depicted in "Dirty Dancing."

• His great-grandfather was a dance instructor and emcee at Catskill resorts, once bustling with stars and later, transformed into a prison town.

• Family shifted from the hotel business to working for the state; Gavin’s father became a prison guard.

  “And the sad part is that the hotel industry came to a slow halt, and...it became a prison town. So I grew up in the prison town era of the Dirty Dancing area.”
  — Gavin DeGraw [04:03]

• Gavin's father was a talented singer and guitarist, influencing Gavin’s musical aspirations.

3. The Moment Music Became a Calling

[05:38–06:32]

• An “aha” moment at a Billy Joel concert showed Gavin that music could heal and connect people.

• Shifted from a desire to be a doctor to pursuing music, realizing performance wasn’t selfish but service to others.

  “That's when it first dawned on me that playing music wouldn't be a selfish thing...music is medicine.”
  — Gavin DeGraw [05:41]

4. Lessons in Regret and Motivation

[06:42–07:27]

• Gavin’s father reveals regret about quitting music, telling Gavin he would change nothing except continuing to play.
• This motivates Gavin to chase his dream:

  “I never would have stopped playing music...I love it so much.”
  — Gavin DeGraw, quoting his father [06:43]

5. Hard Knocks: Early Gigs, Rejection, and Perseverance

[07:42–11:12]

• Played bars from age 15, which exposed him to adult life and built his confidence.

• Auditioned for acting gigs in New York—booked nothing, but learned not to fear rejection.

  “A great lesson for me because I learned how to get rejected. But you don't ever learn to like getting rejected.”
  — Gavin DeGraw [08:44]

• Shared a crucial insight from an Olympic wrestling coach:

  “It's always the number two...the guy who always wins, doesn't know how to lose...once he finally does lose, he quit.”
  — Gavin DeGraw, via James the coach [10:01]

6. Industry Breaks and Turning Down "Bad" Deals

[11:06–13:14]

• At age 20, nearly signed a deal with RCA but rejected it after his attorney called the contract "suicide."

• Demonstrated rare self-assurance by choosing long-term integrity over immediate gratification.

  “I really appreciate the offer. I think that's really more a reflection on me...I need to work harder. I need to be better. So I'm going to go get better.”
  — Gavin DeGraw [13:16]

7. Persistence in NYC, Family Support, and Luck

[13:36–15:46]

• Moved to New York City with his brother, struggled with dead-end gigs, and faced more rejection.

• Wanted to quit, but his father pushed him to make another demo, even promoting Gavin door-to-door as his agent.

  “He took that tape, man, and he walked all around that neighborhood...my son is the greatest singer.”
  — Gavin DeGraw [15:01]

• Secured new gigs, gradually built a following, and caught the attention of music legends.

8. Nile Rodgers, Clive Davis & A Defining Decision

[16:56–21:23]

• Caught a break playing at Wilson’s Head (NYC); legendary producer Nile Rodgers hears him, and they record a demo.

• Ultimately, another "bad" production contract is offered; Gavin again turns it down.

• Courted by J Records (Clive Davis) and receives a phone call from legendary Ahmet Ertegun the same day, which he describes as "beyond compare."

  “Same day...two of the biggest powerhouses in music. My dad was right.”
  — Gavin DeGraw [21:23–21:27]

9. One Tree Hill Theme & The Commercial Breakthrough

[22:19–25:27]

• Shares the story of being approached to use "I Don’t Want To Be" as the theme for "One Tree Hill."

• Initially rejects the idea, thinking TV is "lame," but reconsiders after hearing the financial upside.

• Credits this opportunity with launching him as a household name and opening the door to future commercial success.

  “It opened the door for me in an unbelievable way. You know, it made you a household name.”
  — Gavin DeGraw [22:14–22:21]

  “Once you have that first song, at least you have an opportunity...you’re just thankful for the opportunity.”
  — Gavin DeGraw [25:12]

10. Business Philosophy & Industry Insight

[25:27–25:49]

• Stresses that show business is, ultimately, about people, regardless of fame or money.

  “Every business, I don't care what brand it is, how big it looks, how much money is involved in it. They're just people. They work there.”
  — Gavin DeGraw [25:40]

11. Current Projects, Touring, and the Joy of Performance

[25:49–28:55]

• Not a fan of the beach—"I'm a low humidity fan"—prefers mountain life, hence the focus on his upcoming “Winter Mountain Tour,” preferring intimate venues in ski towns.

• Details performing solo or as a duo, favoring storytelling in small spaces.

• Reveals plans for a Christmas song and tour with Colbie Caillat.

• Expresses joy in a career spanning three decades and his excitement for future projects.

  “I go out on tour for two months without checking in a bag...I've been doing this since I'm about 15...I love it, and I still love it. There’s nothing like it.”
  — Gavin DeGraw [27:53–28:13]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Music is medicine. This, this is something that helps people.”
  — Gavin DeGraw [05:41]

• “I never would’ve stopped playing music.”
  — Gavin DeGraw’s father [06:43]

• “It’s always the number two...the guy who always wins, doesn't know how to lose...once he finally does lose, he quit.”
  — Wrestling philosophy relayed by Gavin [10:01]

• “If I sign this, I don't own this place. This place owns me.”
  — Gavin DeGraw (on avoiding a bad record deal) [13:13]

• “It opened the door for me in an unbelievable way...that is a career song.”
  — On “I Don’t Want To Be” as the One Tree Hill theme [22:14, 24:55]

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

| Time | Segment | |-----------|----------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:23 | Gavin discusses his military family connection | | 05:38 | The Billy Joel concert "music is medicine" revelation | | 06:43 | Father’s regret inspires Gavin to pursue music | | 10:00 | Lessons on handling rejection from wrestling coach | | 13:13 | Turning down first record deal at age 20 | | 15:01 | Father acts as agent, helps Gavin land NYC gigs | | 16:56 | Meeting Nile Rodgers, recording demo with all-star players | | 21:23 | Signing with J Records, phone call from Ahmet Ertegun | | 22:19 | The making of the One Tree Hill theme deal | | 25:49 | Gavin’s touring philosophy, mountain tour | | 28:31 | Upcoming projects, Christmas tour with Colbie Caillat |

Episode Tone & Style

The conversation is candid, open, and humorous with both men sharing stories, personal philosophies, and gentle ribbing. Gavin’s humility and grounded outlook set the tone, balancing nostalgia for his roots with gratitude for his career.

Closing

Gavin DeGraw’s episode is a masterclass in perseverance, artistic integrity, and authenticity. Whether discussing family, industry rejections, or the big breaks that shaped his destiny, Gavin reminds listeners that success comes from hard work, gratitude, resilience, and just a bit of luck—plus a willingness to turn down even the shiniest offer if it’s not right.

Listen to the full episode for more behind-the-scenes stories and upcoming tour details. For tour dates and new music, visit gavindegraw.com.