← Unemployable with Jeff Dudan
Unemployable with Jeff Dudan
The 3 BIGGEST Energy Mistakes Killing Your Vibe with "Energy Expert" Erin King
00:15:39
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- [00:01]
A
Your research disclosed that vibe was the thing that people most related to in a leader. We say here that it's the vibe that builds the tribe. And there's so many things. It's every connection, every touch point from the, the. Our franchisee facing people. What makes up Vibe? What are the elements of vibe? Is it verbal? Is it. Is it non verbal? Is it the. Is it the tonation, tonality of people's voices? Is it their eye contact, facial? What. What are all the things that go into somebody's vibe that basically, oh, I like that person. I like their energy, I like their vibe. I want to see what they're. I want to be a part of whatever it is they're doing.
- [00:48]
B
Yeah, well, I'm glad you asked that question, because when you talk about energy, some people think sustainability, right? They think power plants and solar. People think caloric energy. You know, getting your enough calories and balancing so energy. There's, you know, you have thermal energy, you have. There's so many different kinds, potential energy, kinetic. So when we're talking about energy for our purposes, I'm talking about. I'm gonna get a little nerdy here for your, for your listeners. We're gonna get a little bit like physicists for a second.
- [01:14]
A
Hey, get nerdy with me.
- [01:16]
B
We're getting nerdy. I'm getting my glasses on. Here we go. So you can ask your favorite physicist, but the first law of thermodynamics is with the law that talks about that energy cannot be created or destroyed. So the problem with people talking about, how can I get more energy, how can I have more energy? Is you actually can't. You can't get or have more energy because energy is not an entity that you possess. It's an experience that you process. It's a transfer. So when you think about energy, energy is eternal, okay? So when you say, like, change, Jeff has good energy, you don't have good energy. You and I are experiencing a transfer of energy. You're active, listening. You're nodding your head, you're warm, you're engaging. Your eyes are crinkling up, you're leaning in. You're allowing me to access the experience of what warm energy feels just like sunlight or a breeze or feeling water on your body. It's an experience. Experience. It's a process. So when you talk about getting more energy, what you're really trying to do is unblock more, access to the experience of energy, which is not something you have to generate. It's something you have to liberate. You have to tap into it, invite it more into your world. So that's sort of the first question. That's the reason why add to cart to get and create more energy isn't working. We've never had more things on Instagram we can buy to have more energy. You know, cold plunges and red light therapy and saunas and supplements and dry brushing, a cupping and go yoga. Right. So, and all this is great. It's all working for you. Amazing. But the truth is, is that it's not an add to cart situation. It's really a look in mirror and figure out where the biggest blocks are to you accessing the energy that already exists in your life. So that's where we kind of try to talk through, okay, well how do we do that? Right, so, so what are our biggest blocks? And what we found in our study was actually there are, there's two groups of people in the study. So one group had the higher energy levels as well as the higher life satisfaction score. Shocker. That was a very small percent of the participants in the study. Most people had lower general. We call them their energetic battery score, where it's like, hey, over the last 90 days, on a scale from 1 to 10, where's your battery? Highs, lows, Good night's sleep, bad night's sleep, Talk to me, goose. Right. And the crazy thing was is that most people who had lower energy levels and more importantly that lower life satisfaction score, they don't feel excited about the future. They don't self identify as successful, they don't feel like someone who's joyful and excited for what's happening next. They really had three big mistakes they made. The first thing was they talked a lot about trying to do it all, about trying to do more and more and add this and buy this and scroll through Instagram and try to keep up. The second thing they tried to do was they talked a lot about ditching it. All right? They're the ones that are like, well, I'm in this job or this situation with a coworker or a customer and it's not good for my energy. So I'm just gonna like set it free. I'm just gonna walk away. They kind of had quick culture energy, right? And the third thing that people who had low energy and low life satisfaction score is that they were avoiders. They dodged things a bit. They, they weren't, they weren't seekers of clarity. They didn't close those loops. They weren't decisive in terms of their actions and their game plans. And so what we found is that those three areas were the biggest. Think of it as, think of your energy as a water, like a stream.
- [04:46]
A
Yeah.
- [04:46]
B
And it's the experience of water. There's tides, there's motion. It's constantly going. Picture three big boulders blocking your access to that experience of energy. That. These were the three biggest boulders. Now on the flip side, people in our study that had high energy and high life satisfaction score, they were the antithesis. They didn't have those boulders blocking access to their energy. So for the first one, they didn't try to do it all. They understand that effort is expensive. Right. Effort and energy have an inverse relationship. So what, what, so what's free? What's free is your instincts, what comes naturally to you, your strengths. When you're in the pocket, like for you being a former college athlete, these, when you're, when you're working in flow with all of your boards and your companies, like there's, I'm sure meetings that were three hours felt like two minutes because you were in flow, you were in the zone. Where did time go? Right. So that's, that's the athletes peak performance zone. That's, that's you tapping into your energy instinct. We can dial into those a little deeper in a second. The second thing that they did, the high energy participants, was in terms of quitting. If they were in a situation with a business, with a friend, with a colleague, with an investor, with a coworker, they didn't just say, walk away and say, I quit. It's not for me. They were more likely to make decisions around shifting. Okay, how, how, how can I shift this? How can I make a decision that is more aligned with my role or my values or the season that I'm in? So I always give the example of like Oprah Winfrey. Right. So I come from Baltimore, Maryland originally. And my first job out of college was I sold TV advertising. We used to cold call out of the yellow pages to print out MapQuest directions, to drive in person to show a printed out PowerPoint, to get a paper check, to advertise on broadcast television. So I'm 109. None of that is relevant in 2025. But I had to make 100 cold calls a day and I was rejected like 8,000 times in two years. So now I'm bulletproof. And it was the best training ever. Invite in the rejection. Right? But anyway, so the most famous alumni from our TV station in Baltimore is actually Oprah Winfrey. And people don't realize in the 70s, Oprah was actually the prime time anchor, she had the pay and the prestige and the power. But people don't realize when she was reading off the teleprompter, the video that shows you kind of what to say next, it's very scripted. She was too expressive. She was too emotional. She was too much. The producers asked her to tone it down. The ratings were going down. The harder she was trying to be in this box where they wanted her, the more frustrated she was. And so she did the unthinkable. Oprah actually asked to be demoted to daytime television. Way less pay, way less power, way less prestige. And everyone thought she was crazy. But when she shifted to that format, having real conversations with real people with real insights, she lit up. They lit up. She was energized. They were energized. Oprah's energy instinct was not to be reporting. It was to be relating. It wasn't about. It wasn't about her reading a teleprompter. Her energy instinct was. Was reading people. And when she shifted, when she changed the channel, she quit television. What if Oprah quit television? She shifted where she was showing up, and in doing so, reached 40 million people a week for a quarter of a century. That's impact. That's not just changing your job. That's changing lives. But she could have been like, oh, I'm not good at television. Just throw it. Throw in the towel. And a lot of people do that, right? We throw out the baby with the bathwater, but we're missing all the good stuff, too. So the people in our study that had really high energy, they were the shifters. They were the, how can I make alignment my assignment and not just be so quick to quit? And then the third area where the big energy beings really shine. And I saw an Insta or a LinkedIn post of yours the other day. It's funny, I was kind of giving you a search before we hopped on, and one of your posts, you talked about clarity and the importance of decision making and clarity. And you hit the nail on the head, Jeff, because that is what the big. We call them, the big energy beings, the babes, the big energy beings. In our study, they were all about closing the loops. Clarity. They didn't allow this opacity, this. This unresolved. What do they mean by this text or this email or what are we doing? They didn't live in that analysis. Paralysis, gray zone, space. They were decisive. They closed loops. They asked for clarity. They made moves. They left old neighborhoods of comfort for new highways of opportunity. And that was the biggest Difference. And so when you look at your own business and your own life, it's like, are you trying to do it all when you should be tapping into what you're really good at, your instinct? Are you trying to ditch it all when maybe it's just a shift, not a quit? And finally, are you trying to dodge things a little bit, where instead of that chaos and that confusion, which is like having a bunch of apps open on your phone and it's draining your battery silently in the background, close that loop, get that answer, keep that battery charged. That clarity will free up so much energy for that water to flow so you can access that energy that is already there in your life. It's just blocked.
- [09:39]
A
Beautifully said. That's. That's amazing. And it makes sense if you're unplugged and you're avoiding. You're. You have. You have no power. It's gone. I'm interested in your take on relationships. You. You've had to apply this to partner spouse relationships. You've got a battery. One has a negative post, the other one has a positive post. You've got opposites, and one has high energy and the other one has low energy. What is the interpersonal relationship in your most important relationships, and how does that energy field play? Have you done any research around that or any thought around that?
- [10:16]
B
Yes. So it's interesting that you brought this up. So I love that you said high energy or low energy, because that's a very subjective way to talk about energy. So what's high vibe to you might not be high vibe to somebody else. You know, if you think about. If you think about from a leadership standpoint. Right. So a lot of leaders are extroverts. We're super connectors. But what fires you and I up, Jeff, as former athletes, might not fire up someone on our team, but as leaders and managers, we tend to lead and manage the way that we like to be led and managed. So for us as college athletes, I love someone getting in my face and yelling at me. I love someone being like, we have. We have three minutes to score a touchdown. I'm like, let's go. Like, that fires me up. Yeah, but. So my husband has a totally different energy style. He's an academic, he's an inventor. He's an AI guy. He's a programmer. When I'm like, when I try to put the pressure on, he crumbles. He falls apart. He can't. It does the opposite. He needs space to process and think and organize. And so when we're talking about peak performance moments. So for example, we just raised around a funding for his new company. So he can't. Sales and people is like his nightmare. We're total opposites. Right. So he got, he was sweating, he couldn't talk. Meanwhile, for me, I felt like I was in the zone. This is where I thrive. Right. And so I think for each of us, it's about understanding how your energy works best and knowing that high and low energy is different for each person. So in our study, we actually found that there are five different kind of energetic experiences that will energize or drain you, depending on how you're wired. So how you're. How you're energetically wired is as distinct as your DNA. So there's five key ways that we are all powering up or draining on a daily basis. Now if we had time to do all the things. So picture a grid, right? Picture the top of this grid is like physical, creative, spiritual, mental, social, all those things, you know, those are all the spaces we find energy. Most people know those. Right, right. But picture along the other side of the grid, the three key sources of energy. These are the ones people don't really think about as much. And the three biggest sources of actual energy, you know? Yes. Okay. Kale, sleeping, water. We know. Right. But on the, on the side, the three sources are a sense of connection to others or something bigger than ourselves. Number two, a sense of competence. So doing challenging but doable activities with immediate feedback. And finally, a sense of control, a sense of, of autonomy or agency over our desk. This is why the franchise model, by the way, whenever I train franchise companies, I've worked with Great clips and Fit Body, Bootcamp and Smoothie King. When you look at the franchise model, that's why franchise owners are so energized about the opportunity. Because they can connect to others in a bigger mission than themselves. They can see immediate results as they're working the process. And finally they have that sense of control. And so these are the three key sources of energy. So of course, if we feel in control, competent and connected in a physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, social way, we have perfect energy. But in what world are you ever going to have all of those? No. So it's really important to understand your fastest path to power. Where is that intersection for you? And knowing that looks like all the different five energy sort of types have different energy levels. So for example, one of the energy types is called responsive. Responsive energy are people that need a lot of space. Space to process. These are the deep empaths, energetically so if you try to force them into a decision and trying to sell a responsive energy, it's a hard note. You're not getting the deal done because the more you push, the more they shrink. But they are programmed to have their high energy is actually much lower than a kinetics high energy. Kinetics high energy. They're the ones, they're the athletes, their fastest pack. The power is to compete. They love a challenge. So their high energy is actually not as high as a responsive. So everyone has different baseline levels where that's them bringing their best. And from a leadership perspective, it's important to understand that your high energy is not going to always feel like someone else's. What's more important than the level is what powers them up. So if you have someone that's a generative, generative energy needs to create. So if you have someone in a franchise model that you're managing that has generative energy and you are putting them in the rinse and repeat and the process and the rhythm and this, and you're giving them zero room to create a tweak on a tweak on something, a whiteboard, a new idea. If you give them zero room to create, it doesn't matter how perfectly you're working the process, they are going to have that lower vibe. Passive aggressive, per my last email email vibe, right? Because you're not tapping into what makes them shine. On the other hand, if you have a synergistic energy, their fastest path to power is to connect. Is that you?
- [15:01]
A
That's the connector. That's what your, that's what your energy test told me.
- [15:05]
B
Okay, so you're the connector. So for you, Jeff, the pandemic when we were all quarantined, sure it was hard for everybody, but for, for people with your energy type not being able to connect to other people and that higher purpose, feeling like, what is the purpose and where are my people?
- [15:20]
A
Right.
- [15:20]
B
Quarantine was 8,000 times harder for you at an energetic level than the average bear because you're someone that to this day, people that are still work from home or siloed, if they have your energy tight, they are not going to be able to bring their best vibe to work because it's not tapping into the way that they're wired.
- [15:37]
A
Right. That makes sense. That makes sense.