Unemployable with Jeff Dudan

Episode #214: "What’s Blocking Your Energy and Success? Energy Expert Erin King Explains"

Release Date: October 1, 2025
Host: Jeff Dudan
Guest: Erin King (Energy researcher, entrepreneur, speaker, author, and podcast host)

Episode Overview

This engaging episode dives deep into the science and art of human energy—what blocks it, what frees it, and why authentic energy is the most important leadership asset. Jeff Dudan interviews Erin King, a top motivational speaker, entrepreneur, and energy expert, exploring her journey from startup disaster to scientific study, her personal insights around energy and leadership, and actionable takeaways for individuals and teams. The conversation blends data-backed research, relatable anecdotes, actionable advice, and the unapologetic truth about entrepreneurship, social media, and the human spirit.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Backstory and the Roots of High Performance

[00:55]–[03:46]

• Erin shares her large Irish Catholic family, emphasizing that “work is never going to love us back” and that family remains central.
• Her father, a high-performing Georgetown athlete, instilled values like gratitude, controlling the controllables, and toughness:
  • "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." —Erin King quoting her father [02:16].
• Jeff expands on leadership at home and in business, reinforcing the necessity of principles and values over prescriptive rules.

2. How Energy Became Erin’s Mission

[05:46]–[10:34]

• Erin’s experience:
  • Two failed startups and one major success running a leading social media agency.
  • A turning point after watching The Social Dilemma—questioning her professional legacy.
  • The personal cost: After intense overcommitment, she suffered a panic attack, leading her to reevaluate and study energy management.
• Erin conducted an 18-month, large-scale study (10,000 people, with PhDs) on human energy, published in Psychology Today and Harvard Business Review.
• "Our energy is our ultimate edge. It’s not just hustle and grind—it’s about managing energy, not just time or money." —Erin King [07:50]

3. The Social Media Dilemma: Values, Regrets, and Alignment

[12:34]–[18:17]

• Jeff asks why Erin sold a thriving business—Erin describes the ethical conflict after seeing the impact of their work on her team's self-image and well-being:
  • "Energy doesn’t lie. When I was doing social media, my energy was ‘I’ve got to get through this week.’ Now, I love what I do. People can feel that difference." —Erin King [17:29].
• Explains how tech industry insiders knowingly built addictive features.

4. Vibe: The Science and Experience of Human Energy

[19:04]–[27:55]

• Erin summarizes their study:

  • "We found the number one trait people admire in leaders is the vibe—or the way of being. Not education, not expertise." [05:46]

• Vibe isn’t just about personality—it's a transfer, not a possession. Energy is liberated by unblocking, not by acquisition.

• The three biggest energy blocks:

  1. Doing Too Much: Attempting everything, leading to depletion.
  2. Ditching Everything: Quick to quit rather than shift roles or methods.
  3. Dodging/Avoidance: Lack of clarity, incomplete decisions, and open loops drain energy.

• High energy, high satisfaction individuals are “shifters”—not quitters, but those who realign and make decisive moves.

  Memorable Analogy:

  • “Think of your energy as a stream blocked by boulders—unblock them instead of just adding more water.” —Erin King [23:02]

5. Managing Energy in Relationships and Teams

[27:55]–[33:54]

• Energy type is subjective and unique—what’s “high energy” for one can drain another.

• Erin explains five energy types (e.g., Kinetic, Responsive, Generative, Synergistic, Rigorous) and three universal sources for all:

  1. Connection
  2. Competence
  3. Control

• Leaders should adapt to others’ energy styles, noting that forcing one’s own preferred style (e.g., high-pressure competition) won’t work for everyone.

• "Your high energy is not always someone else’s. What powers them up is not the same as what powers you up." —Erin King [31:38]

6. Decision-Making and Strategic Listening

[34:20]–[38:04]

• Erin urges “strategic listening”—not consulting everyone (or the entire internet) but cultivating a personal “board of directors” (2 senior, 2 peer, 2 junior, unbiased), and looking within.
  • "It takes guts to go with your gut."
• Jeff connects this to “internal vs. external locus of control,” echoing the need for self-trust, not external validation.
• The “crab in the pot” analogy: others can unconsciously pull you back down when you try to change or level up.

7. Envy, Jealousy & Comparison

[42:13]–[49:33]

• "Envy is the enemy of enlightenment.” —Jeff Dudan [42:34]
• Erin reframes jealousy as a potential “genius”—healthy competition can fuel you if channeled correctly, while negative comparison is toxic and draining.
• Knowing your “enoughness point” is key—define your own success and recognize when you’ve arrived.
  • Story: Alison Levine’s Everest climb as metaphor for entrepreneurship [46:45].

8. Practical Tools for Managing and Channeling Energy

[53:12]–[59:15]

• Erin’s Energy Exam—a scientific tool that reveals:
  • What charges and drains you
  • Compatibility with others
  • How you’re perceived, not just how you feel
  • "For every energy type, there’s a power word—knowing that shortcut lets leaders unlock potential instantly."
  • E.g., Jeff’s “power word” is “connect.”
• Advice: Genuine, specific compliments and curiosity are crucial for building authentic connections, especially with high performers.

9. Managing “Too Much” Energy and Compatibility (Energetic Due Diligence)

[59:15]–[62:41]

• “Too much” or “not enough” energy is subjective—need alignment, not uniformity.
• Micro-adjustments in communication style can bridge differences.
• The most attractive leadership energy is calm, secure abundance—not desperation or “pick me” energy.

10. Future Projects & Final Advice

[62:41]–[72:31]

• Erin’s new book, The Energy Instinct, is slated for Spring 2026—meant to be concise and instantly engaging (“don’t bury the lead!”).
• If forced to start a new business:
  • Profit: Blue collar legacy businesses (e.g., plumbing, electrical)—least likely to be automated.
  • Passion: Children’s mental health in the digital age—she wishes phones were banned for kids under 18.
• One-sentence impact:
  • "Have an attitude of gratitude." —Erin King [70:55]
  • "The fastest path to power is radical gratitude... The antidote to heaviness is to help others." —Erin King [71:00]

Notable Quotes & Moments

• "Our energy is our ultimate edge." —Erin King [05:55]
• "Energy doesn’t lie. When you’re in alignment, you don’t have to summon willpower—you just want to show up." —Erin King [17:29]
• "The most attractive energy is abundant, calm, secure energy. The least attractive is pick-me energy." —Erin King [61:54]
• "Healthy competition is watching someone shine and thinking, ‘Why not me?’ Unhealthy comparison is, ‘I could never.’” —Erin King [44:45]
• “You can’t Google your gut.” —Erin King [34:50]
• “If you have the guts to say no to what’s not right, you’ll find what is.” —Erin King [18:30]
• "Be someone’s shot of whiskey, not everyone’s cup of tea." —Erin King quoting her grandmother [59:47]
• "If you don’t birth the idea, someone else will." —Erin King referencing Big Magic [41:10]
• “For every person you meet, know their power word—connect, create, compete, process, or order. That’s your shortcut for effective leadership.” —Erin King [57:19]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:55 Introductions & Family Influence
• 05:46 The Science of Energy: Research & Inflection Point
• 12:34 Social Media & Values: The “Why” Behind Her Pivot
• 19:04 Energy Defined: Vibe, Science, Transfer (not Possession)
• 23:02 Energy Blocks & “Boulders” in the Stream
• 27:55 Energy in Relationships and Leadership Styles
• 34:20 Decision-Making & Strategic Listening (“Bad Listener” Concept)
• 42:13 Envy, Comparison, and "Enoughness"
• 53:12 Practical Energy Tools, The Energy Exam
• 59:47 Managing “Too Much” or “Too Little” Energy
• 62:41 Book Preview: The Energy Instinct
• 68:28 If You Had to Start a Business Today: Blue Collar & Kids’ Mental Health
• 70:55 Closing Advice: “Attitude of Gratitude”

Final Takeaways

• Authentic, well-managed energy is the top leadership asset—more important than expertise or charisma.
• Most people drain their batteries by over-effort, quitting too fast, or avoiding clarity.
• Aligning work and life with your “energy instinct” unlocks satisfaction and success, not just achievement.
• Strategic, intentional listening—internally and to a trusted ‘board of directors’—beats crowdsourcing your future.
• Comparison is the thief of joy, unless leveraged as healthy motivation.
• Simple, practical tools (like knowing someone's “power word,” or taking the Energy Exam) can transform teams.
• Radical, felt gratitude and helping others are the surest ways to recharge when stuck.
• Don’t be afraid to close one door for the right reasons—the next, better-aligned opportunity awaits.

Check Out:

• Erin King’s Energy Exam and resources
• Erin’s Podcast: On Your Terms with Erin King
• Jeff Dudan & HomeFront Brands: jeffdudan.com

“Energy doesn’t lie. The most impactful leaders are the ones who show up lit up—not burned out.” —Erin King [17:29]