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ONE | A Potter's House Church
ACT 1: Follow the Leader (Endurance) - Dr. Anita Phillips (Wednesday Bible Study)
01:38:56
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Hey, good people, this is Torre Roberts. Blessings to you and welcome to the ONE podcast. I'm excited that you're here. ONE is a community of dynamic and vibrant thought leaders, preachers, teachers, and just a community of wonderful people all together. And we're excited to bring you this weekly podcast from our services from ONE in la. If you haven't been the One, I encourage you to check it out. You can go to one the Word one O N E online and find out all about the service times and all about the teachers and all the philanthropic things that we have going. I believe you're going to be blessed to be a part of it. And speaking of being blessed, we're getting ready to get into a teaching right now that I believe is going to bless you. So tune in, enjoy, and I'll be back with you at the end.
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Hey, y'. All. I'm surprised this many people came when they heard the topic was endurance. But what'd you say? It's a good topic. It's a good topic. I know Lola just prayed beautifully, but I don't think I know how to start speaking without praying. So can I just pray a little bit more? Father, just thank you. Speak to us tonight. I thank you because never, never does it occur that you give me a word for others that it does not also bless me, cut me, stretch me, grow me. So, Father, I don't expect anything less from you tonight. Let your word be a two edged sword. Cut us coming and going in a way that will leave us better than when we walked in the door. We want to be like you, a disciple filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit. Help us to keep our eyes on you, to follow you and to trust you. And to trust the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps us walk this thing out every day. In Jesus name, Amen. Amen. Hallelujah. Y' all can sit. Y' all can sit. It's Bible study. Let me take this out. So, man, endurance. First of all, shout out to Pastor E.B. who has been holding this Bible study down. I told him and holding one down and me down. And so I was like, I got you this week, sir. I got you this week. What's the topic? He's like, endurance. I was like, I still got you. Okay? I still got you. So let's get in it. Because we wanna be able to endure. We wanna be able to walk this thing out on a hard day. Right? You know, endurance as a disciple of the Lord, as a follower of Jesus, is part of the work. It's like, this is a marriage, right? We're the bride of Christ. And so when we get married in our everyday lives, we take vows, right? And. And I used to teach a premarital counseling course for, oh, gosh, 20 years. And I would always have the couples coming into premarital counseling. I would tell them I want them do a sample run of their vows. And I would emphasize, this is a sample. I did not just marry y'. All. Y' all still not out here. But I would have people repeat the vows on the first day of the marriage premarital counseling class. Because when I got married, I did not really consider the words of the vows until I was on the altar. I mean, we did premarital counseling. We did some things, but the actual words that are in our tradition to say, for better or worse, richer or poor, sicker in health, you know? And so in the video of the wedding, I still had my. I kept my veil down. You can see, like, I come in, came in all excited. I'm coming down the aisle, waving at people. Hey, hey, girl. You know, I had no nerves or anything, but about halfway through those vows, it hit me. This is no joke. And I had to gather myself. So I take this deep breath, and I exhaled, and my veil kind of went, because I was, like, trying to get it together. And so because of that, I was inspired later, when I became a therapist, to design a premarital counseling program that was based on the words of our traditional vows. Because in less than 50 words, you pledge your whole life away. You know, I'm not talking about the long poems, but the better words. Richer, poor. It's less than 50 words. Whole life away. And so I would tell them, I don't want that to be the first time you say them. So say them in this first session so you get the gravity of it. And then I would have them repeat it, but without the good stuff. So I want you to say, I take thee to be my lawfully wedded, in sickness, for poorer, for worse, in sickness, you with me? Because we don't have to promise to stay on a good day. I don't need to promise to stay on a good day. I'm a volunteer. On a good day, I need a vow. On a bad day, on a hard day, on an I don't want to today day. And so every committed relationship like that, when we want to, we hope it will last for our lifetime. What happens? How well prepared are we for the hardest parts? And so I don't want it to come across as it's important to learn endurance as a disciple because that's all there will be. But it is about making it through the harder days, because we don't need it for the days when it's all worship and joy and shout. So it's just about those days that we really need to lean into, sticking with what it is that we want to do. And even though we love Jesus very much, without that endurance, I may not sustain as his bride. So I gotta have something for the hard day. And then having that actually increases the number of good days, so to speak. Because when we know how to endure difficulties, they don't have to be as extended. And so this is really important maintenance work for our walk with God. Amen. Does that help? A little bit. We all wanna be his good bride in this. And all of us are the bride of Christ. Men and women too. We wanna be in there. So let's get into the word, Hebrews 12, starting at verse one. Therefore, we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. That fact, the fact that the word endurance is attached to Jesus, his work on the cross can already leave you like, huh? Cause that means there's some crucifying that we will have to do in our walk as disciples, that there are some aspects of us that die. Going back again to the bride of Christ, to the marriage analogy, that's two becoming one. That means that you are gonna be less of what you were to come into relationship with him. Do you know the word marriage is actually related to myrrh, like frankincense and myrrh, because it was something that martyrs would be placed on martyrs after their death. So it wasn't just marriage was merriage, martyrage. This is a death walk for two to become one. Yeah. Everybody still want to get married or no? Okay. It was a walk where these two are gonna become one. Bishop Harold Ray recently passed away. He was in Florida. I once heard him say of marriage, two become one. And everything works out as long as each one's trying to become the other one. And so there's this leaving of self. You know, in our tradition here, the last names become the same. I would often challenge People in that premarital course to imagine if your first name had to change. Cause the last name is like an extra thing, but people still call you by the first name you've been used to, right? And so I can't even imagine if like suddenly I'm gonna stop answering to Anita. I'm gonna have to answer to another name. And so imagine a couple get married and there's this name chosen and they're both gonna change their first name to that so they have the same name. And now everybody has to. That is the level of identity change, what it means for two to become one. And so when you think about that with Jesus, as we merge and we, we wanna prepare to be his bride, we're merging in with Jesus, parts of us will have to go away. That's what happens. And we pursue that in human relationships. We consider that like our ultimate high romantic love brass ring, that we will find someone and spend our entire lives with them and merge with them and in all of these ways. But man, it's harder than it sounds. But all of us need to do it with Jesus. And so we all have the opportunity to practice. What's that like, what that's like. And some of it is leaving pieces of us behind. And so when we are headed towards the cross to be like him, we're headed towards our own cross run with endurance, the race set before us, looking unto Jesus. Skip a few words, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame. So let's look at what those words mean. Endurance. I'm going to probably get the Greek wrong, but hypomone, it means to remain underweight, steadfast under pressure. I'm remaining under this weight, whatever the weight is that's pressing on me. For me to endure means that I remain under that weight. There's a present nature, and I'm going to probably emphasize that multiple times tonight. There's a present nature about that. I remain under the weight. So I'm not the one who gets to remove the weight. And I can tell you personally in Anita, in her nature, I will shed a weight quick. What is this extra pressure? I don't think so. I don't believe that quit is a bad word. I discontinue when I am no longer interested in the outcome of this process or I have determined that the weight and the effort of the process is outweighing the value of the outcome. And so now that I have an updated analysis, the best course of action is for me to change course. You Call it quitting. I'm saying, what we doing here? I don't like it here no more. And so to remain under a weight is a decision that we make. To endure something that means it's not inevitable. I have to choose to remain under the weight. You hear me, Tay? He's like, laughing, like, yeah, it's a choice. I choose to remain under the weight. I am steadfast under the pressure. I want to look at some more words in that verse, so if you can give me that slide. It goes on to talk about the author and finisher of our faith, who we're emulating in this endurance. That word author is that he is our originator, the pioneer, the trailblazer of how this is done. But he is also the finisher in that he doesn't leave us in it alone. He is involved in making sure that we are cared for, supported, watched, covered as we endure. So we're not in it by ourself, but sometimes it will feel like that. But we know that we are not in it by ourself. We know that when Jesus rose from the dead and he went ready to ascend to his father, he told his disciples that he would leave the a comforter, a teacher in the Holy Spirit who would live within us and be with us. So we know we're not alone in it. But sometimes, yes, it feels like we are. So we have to remain steadfast in our awareness and our knowledge that we are not alone in this. Even when it feels like we are alone in this, that is one of the ways that we remain under pressure. I'm not alone in this. He is the joy. And then he did it for joy. Joy is different than happiness. It is delight rooted in purpose, the excitement. You guys have heard me multiple times. I will probably tell the story a hundred more times because it still rocks me about how God spoke to me about coming to lead at one, that when he revealed to me that that was what he had for me to do, that I had this wave of joy in the moment. And that is how I knew it was God. Because in my human mind, in my life experience, to be called to go pastor is not a joyful because there are a lot of pressures, not to mention the bullseye that gets added to your back, because the devil is going to shoot at a leader first. So it's not the distress of y'. All. I'm not saying it's like, oh, it's not. It's hard work to be a pastor, but because of the people. So that I love people, but the enemy, it adds another bullseye. I already got one. I got a few. I got a prophet bullseye. A teacher bullseye. A mama bullseye. Child of God bullseye. Hold on. Oh, another one. But because I felt this wave of joy, that was the confirmation to me, my life experience. I'm multigenerational. Pastors have pastored it before. My life experience let me know the cost. And so for me to experience joy in the presence of a call that cost, I knew it was God because only he could give that. It is something that is rooted in purpose, delight, rooted in purpose. So for the joy that was set before him, he endured the cross. And then it goes on to say, despising the shame. See, endurance is this walk between shame and joy. Yeah, I'm going to let that sink in for a second. Shame and joy, because the shame is present, the joy is afar off at times. He says he endured the cross for the joy set before him. He endured the cross and despising the shame in the process. So the shame was in the present moment. He's enduring. He is remaining under pressure to. Shame is involved in that. Because the joy, I see it, it is out there. And because I see it, I can experience it now. And so it's joy, shame, joy, shame. This battle. And where am I on the continuum constantly between the shame that is so crippling on this side and the joy that's on the other side. That shame is about humiliation. It is an identity attack. Who am I right now? What is happening to me? We have trials that will come into our life, tribulations that will come into our lives. Tests and stretchings that leave you wondering, who am I? What did I do to even deserve this? Anybody ever have that question when they got, like, a stomach virus? Nothing will make you check with the Lord to see if you need to repent for a sin like being laid out on that bathroom floor. You are like God. If I did anything, I'm sick. Anybody ever call Jesus from there? Oh, it's just me. Okay. But we will get to. There's a level where you can be in so much pain, physically or emotionally, that it causes you to question everything. That is a moment when you're trying to endure shame, the identity attack. There's something about me, even the idea that God, I needed to be purified this much. This effort is about to wipe me out. Like you are trying to get an explanation that will allow you to believe something not just about God, but about who you are. Endurance, the shame, the Identity attack. Because it is in fact true that when we are walking through difficulties that we know are stretching us spiritually, that it will redefine who you see yourself as being. It will redefine it for the better. But first it breaks it apart and hanging on to the belief that the joy is out there while I'm dissembled before I am reassembled into this newer thing that's so tough, but so worth it. And so we have that remaining under pressure, endurance. I want to go to another verse that looks into it. James, chapter one, starting at verse two. My brethren, count it all, joy, delight rooted in purpose. Count it all, delight rooted in purpose. When you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces what? Patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. Oh so good. That word trials means testing pressure that reveals truth. It's one thing for me to say, I believe that he is the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I believe that my steps are ordered. I believe that his plans for me are good. I believe he has purpose for me. But when it is pressure, it can start to attack those beliefs. And so under pressure I really find out what is going on. When Jesus was being tempted in the wilderness, in the first temptation where the enemy suggested that he turn stones into bread, and he says, man shall not live by bread alone. But every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God, he's actually quoting a verse from Deuteronomy where God explains that one of the reasons he allowed the children of Israel to be hungry in the wilderness was because when they were hungry it would reveal the their hearts. Not to see if they would trust them for food, but because when you are in physical or emotional pain, truth comes out. I can still remember shortly after I really truly gave my life to Jesus when I was 19. And I can remember the first time I stubbed my toe real hard and only Jesus came out my mouth. I was like, oh, I done got sick, saved. Because child, other words would have normally come out my mouth for less reasons than that. And I was excited because to me it was a show that something inside me was changing. Because in pain and automatic response it had changed. I didn't have to catch myself that time and go, Jesus. It was a first response to not have a flurry of profanity fall out my mouth. I was so excited about that because I had a really good friend in college who apparently I cussed as much as she did. I don't believe it, but I had Left that college, went to a Christian college because I needed the help. And I came back to my old college to visit her one day, and she was just cussing, cussing, cussing. I was like, God, girl, you cuss so much. And she was like, pot, kettle situation. Because you used to sound just like me. And I was like, man, the way that he has changed my life. And so. But the greatest signal of that was when I hurt my toe. Not because then it wasn't a quick choice. It was something that was automatic. And so when we are in physical, emotional pain or both, authenticity, where I really am comes out. Whether it's I'm about to quit, redirect, go off on you, go to sleep for three weeks, whatever. Escape behaviors I start to engage in that stop me from feeling like I am presently remaining under pressure. All those pressure escapes that we go for quickly. Endurance doesn't allow us to do that. We want to stay present. You with me now. This next one is really exciting. The word patience in this verse is actually the same word translated as endurance in the last passage. In some translations, the word endurance is read as patience from the Hebrews 12 verse. And I think that's so critical because we take patience as a softer word. Just be patient, which means just stay where you are while you look for the next thing. There's this idea that I'm only here until this is over, till I can get there. I just have to wait to get there. And a lot of times when we have that mindset, the reason we collapse is because we think all we have to do is wait to get there. But when we ain't got there, we go down. Cause, look, it'd been too long. I've been waiting for the job, the promotion, the spouse, the healing, the deliverance. And since that hasn't come, I think that I run out of patience because I was waiting, not enduring. There's a difference between being patient in the way that we use the word and enduring. Patience takes me out of this moment to expect the change to come. I'm just waiting for the change instead of presently being aware of my posture under this pressure. I'm not present with the pressure when I'm trying to mentally escape it by imagining where I'll be next. Don't leave. Don't leave. We sometimes use that word, patience, almost as a form of dissociation. And so we are not present with the pain of the pressure that we're under, which means I'm not really enduring, I'm distracting. And it matters. And you Say, well, pda, what difference does it make? As long as I get through it, it makes a difference. Oh, let me tell you how it makes a difference. It matters how you go through, because that is where your shape is changed. That is where shame is defeated. That is where your identity not only falls apart, but is reassembled at a higher level. For the Lord, when you are not present in it, you don't get the benefit of it. Romans, chapter 5. Therefore, having been starting at verse 1, therefore having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. That's such a nice verse, isn't it? Those two. But verse three makes a turn. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance and perseverance, character and character, hope. Now, hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who is given to us. But three is where I want to stay. We glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulations produces perseverance. Guess what word, Greek word, is translated there as perseverance. The same word that means endurance. And so I could read endurance there, that tribulation produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. We are on a train here. But if you are not present with the pain and the challenge of the pressure that defines endurance, you trying to skip that step, Then you don't produce the character. The character don't produce the hope. And guess what? Faith is the substance of things. Are you with me? So this is a production cycle. Faith is the substance of things hoped for. I need hope to have faith. Oh, let's get into these words. Oh, it's good. It's good just knowing this. I pray tonight that what you learn tonight, that the Holy Spirit, it will get so deep in your heart. And I'm declaring your heart's good ground right now in the name of Jesus. Because the enemy will want to send the birds of anxiety to steal away these seeds of the Word. Because if these seeds can get in your heart, then the pressure you're under, you will respond differently because you will remember what is happening and that will change your posture. Hear this. What is tribulation? Tribulation is pressure, affliction, squeezing, external weight. Perseverance is endurance, remaining under pressure, steadfast. What is character? It is proven. Character tested genuineness, authenticity. It is what's really happening in you. A lot of times we use that word character to mean moral in kind of an uppity way that you have good character, you never do anything wrong. But this is about your most authentic self. That that authentic self produces that character that tested genuineness and that produces hope. Hope is confident expectation, grounded in God's faithfulness. It's not a wish, it's based on something that you have experienced with God in the past. As a matter of fact, if you look at. Let me go to my Bible app that Romans 5, there's another translation of the Romans 5 that I also love where it uses the word experience. I think that may be the King James version. I'm guessing so, because that's the one I memorized first in life. Yep. Romans 5, verse 3 in the King James says, and not only so, but we glory in tribulations also. Knowing that tribulation worketh patience. I'm going to put endurance in that word. Right. Tribulation worketh endurance and endurance experience and experience hope. You have to remain present in it to have gotten the experience. So the dissociation of just imagining the future and closing my eyes until I get out of here, you didn't experience it. You were trying to escape in every way or. And this is going to happen especially early in your walk with God. I can't even say early. Especially whenever in your walk with God you first decide to endure because it's hard. And we usually go through our first big trial and tribulation kicking and screaming like a two year old. I don't know what's happening. Lord, this is the. Oh my God, Jesus, please, what's going on? Oh my God, Jesus. And then you open your eye and it's over and you're like, oh, you ever had to have, you know, you got a toddler, they're having a heart attack, the thing has ended that they were scared of. You done carried them past the scary thing, but they had their eyes closed and they just. And then you're just like, baby, oh, okay. They didn't actually have an experience with the thing. Whatever they were afraid of, they are just as scared of it now as they were before. See, one of the ways you know that you've endured something, you have experienced it, you have remained present in it and let the Holy Spirit shift your identity in it, is that the next time it comes around, you're not as scared as you were the last time. Fear reduction is evidence. But if every time that trial comes anywhere near you, oh my God, not again. You haven't had an experience because the experience works. Hope and hope maketh not ashamed. The experience gives you hope in God, the hope that is a confident expectation, grounded in his faithfulness. I see what he did for me before. I'm still not excited about this ride, but I'm a little less scared than I was the last time. And on round three, I'm a little less scared than I was the first time. And then we get to a point where we're just like, devil. That's all you got. One step at a time. But we only get there. We only elevate if we actually endure, not just survive. I survived it. It's like the first time I ever rode a roller coaster, which I did under duress at the age of 18 because my classmates were teasing me on the school trip. You don't want to ride this roller coaster. You scared? I'm like, I got it. I got it. Child did not have is a miracle that I did not actually pee on myself. Like, I was worried about how I was going to slide off the thing with a sweatshirt and tie it around my waist for the rest of the day, because I was terrified. I never wanted to ride a roller coaster. It looks like the stupidest idea in the world. Why would I get in this cart on this? And it was a wooden roller coaster. This is 1991, and it says, why am I up here? There is danger on the ground in everyday life. And I'm a strap myself into an apparatus made to distress my body and mind. Jesus. And I wrote it like this the entire time. And then it was over. Didn't see anything, but I was like, I didn't die. You know that T shirt, but did you die? I didn't die. And slowly, over the years, I did continue to try it because now I wanted to win. I got, like, a conquer thing going because other people were riding it and they were grooving. They like, yeah, they got that, you know? And I'm like, how? And I thought to myself, because I've always had this mind, we just got off the same ride, and they rode it like that. And I rode it like this, which means the difference is about me, not the circumstance. And so I rode one until I mastered the fear, till I got my eyes open, till my neck wasn't so stiff. I started leaning into turns and leaning and saying, like, you know what? That drop feeling is kind of cool. It's not as terrifying terrifying as it was before I wrote it until I really wrote it. But I couldn't get that shift if I did not open my eyes and be present and allow the sensations to flow through my body and stop trying to not feel them. Because once I had an experience, that's how we have to walk through the things that come. But the first time, I went out like an entire punk. And early in your walk with the Lord, you will probably go out like a punk on some of those early trials. And that's okay. He knows you're two years old. He's gonna carry you across the thing. You're gonna scream with your eyes closed the whole time. And then when the bill does get paid or the relationship does work out or things don't go as bad as you thought, you gonna open your eye and be like, who cares? And you didn't have an experience with the issue, but you did have the experience that God kept you. You didn't die. And so the next time you go in with that, and maybe you go through with one eye open, and then maybe the third time, you're just like, mm, mm. I'm more than a conqueror. I'm gonna get through this. I'm crying about it, but I'm gonna get through it. That's that spiral up. But when we try to escape it, we don't get the experience. And when we don't have the hope that comes from it, our faith doesn't have the same building blocks. And so it becomes a cycle. Because faith informs my posture when a trial shows up, and then I have the trial, and then I end up with endurance. And then endurance gives me experience, and then experience gives me hope. And that hope does not disappoint me because the love of God has been poured out in my heart by the Holy Spirit, who is given to me. So the next time I need faith, well, faith is a substance of the hope that I got the last time I walked through the thing. So there is an outcome to this endurance besides just surviving it. To say you did, but our faith actually gets stronger. Amen. But how does that happen? Well, endurance is this thing that is how we're responding to the pressures that are happening. On the outside is an extra pressure. It's a circumstance. Jesus was being threatened by the cross, so he had to endure Gethsemane and get to the cross and then endure the cross because the Romans were crucifying him. It's what's happening to him. So endurance is our response to the stressor from the outside for however long it lasts. And it will always feel like it lasted too long. It will feel that way. But God knows what he is working in us. Notice I didn't say he'll never put more on you than you can bear. Cause that's not a scripture. That's not in the Bible. I'll get back to that a little bit later. But in order for us to endure, it is also not just about our actual strength to go through the thing, but our internal posture. How I'm interpreting what's happening, what I believe about what's happening, and the painful emotions that are making a lot of noise while it is happening. I am sad, I am angry, I am scared, I am anxious, I am depressed, I am worried, I am confused, I'm surprised. In the worst way. All of that emotional space, what's happening on the inside? Well, the answer to that is something that we call in Christendom, long suffering. Mm. I love the mixed. Mmm, that that was. It was like, mm, that's good. And mm, no. Mmm, I'm with you. Long suffering is a necessary element to endurance. It's a fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22, 23. Hold on, let me pull that up. Let's make sure we read that. Most of us know it by heart. Many of us do. Galatians 5:22. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. Against such there is no law. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering. We'll stop there because that's the one we want. First of all, I love that this verse started out going great. The fruit of the Spirit makes me want this spirit. The fruit is love. Yes. Joy. Yes. Peace. Yes. Long suffering just went right off the road right there. You know, this was going so well. And then the speed bump of long suffering showed up. What is long suffering? Well, let's. First of all, let's look at what love is. Love is a self giving, covenantal God rooted love here, agape love. We have to receive this love from God. To give it to anyone. We don't produce goes into the soil of our hearts and then it comes back out of us. So if we don't receive it, we can't give it. We don't self produce it. That's really important because many of us struggle to actually receive the love of God. We want to earn his approval, but his unconditional love that he sent his son to die for us while we were yet sinners, before we were even born to sin, he died for us. He prayed for us that we would know him this love is massive. It is the element of what God is made of. First, John 4 says God is love. But some of us struggle to receive any kind of love because the experiences that we have had have taught us that love is not safe, that it doesn't remain, that we don't deserve it, that we're not worthy. And so we struggle to receive his love, which means we struggle to give this kind of love to others in pure ways, too. And love is the first thing. It's the starter. It's. This is the starting point as far as spiritual fruit is concerned. It has to have love in it. Now, let me give you a little different perspective on Fruit of the Spirit. I won't go too deep into it. I need to maybe one day teach all of that. Well, we said we're gonna do that on the next round, the Act 2. But let me give you a little preview on another way to look at fruit, because we look at fruit as something we did, as a behavior, your action, the fruit of your life. But not all fruit is created equal. So fruit is something that we do. It's an action, but not all fruit's Created equal. Remember, First Corinthians 13 talks about what love is. And let me go back to that real quick. Go to it real quick. First Corinthians 13, starting at verse one. Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels and have not charity, I am become as a sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, which is love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned and have not charity, it profits me nothing. In fact, charity does. What suffereth long. There's that long suffering right there already. I didn't even mean to do that. But those first verses gives you along these lists of things you can do, and we think of fruit as something that you do. But if this fruit, these actions, don't have love in them, then they're not good fruits. So when you eat fruit, there's nutrients in fruit. There's vitamins and minerals, things that your body needs. Not all fruit has the same amount of nutrients in it. That's why we go to the farmer's market. We want the organic fruit that came from a farm where people are taking good care of the soil, because we know the nutrients that we actually need in this Food will be in it, not because of what the fruit is, but because the soil was good. We don't want the fruit that grew in the soil covered with pesticides and all kinds of chemicals to make the fruit bigger and plant. But it's not as nutritious. So we can eat apple. I can eat an apple and you can eat an apple. But one came from soil that was contaminated and not healthy, and another came from good organic soil that has been filled with nutrients. And my fruit from that soil is healthier than the same apple from that other soil. The apple from a soil that was toxic can make me sick, it could kill me. But the one that grew from good soil will bring me life. And when we taste that good apple, we don't often turn around and say, man, this apple is so good. And oh, I know it has all these nutrients in it that must have been good dirt. You never think about that when you see the 20 pound tomato that won the blue ribbon prize at the farmer's market, you don't think that dirt must have been all that. But it was. Because the fruit cannot exceed the soil. What was in the soil will be in the fruit. And so it's not love that is the fruit, it is the nutrient in it. But if there was no love in the soil, it can't get in the fruit. So I can give my body to be burned and give all my money to charity and do all of these things. That's the fruit. But if love wasn't in the soil, it won't be in the fruit. So that fruit is not nutritious, it's not giving me nothing for real. That's why when people do something for you and you know they didn't really mean, feels different to you. When your mom made you apologize to your sibling, or made them apologize to you, and they just sorry it didn't mean anything to you, they apologized, they handed you a fruit of apology. But it didn't have luck, love in it. So it was nothing. So the love, the fruit of the spirit. I want to tell you there's another way to look at it. If I get a fruit from the Holy Spirit, this thing is going to be full of nutrients. There will be love in it, joy in it, peace in it. It's not the action itself. What was in the soil of your heart when you grew this, does that make sense? Okay, good. So now let's go back to long suffering. Because first there's love in the soil, then there's joy in the soil. That delight towards Purpose. First I have to have this agape love thing from God, because then I can have joy and delight in his purpose. But first I receive his love. And because I know his purpose will endure, it will come to pass. I can be at peace as well. And I need love, joy and peace. And then what builds on top of those? Long suffering. See, you can't long suffer without love, joy and peace. There's a reason why these are being stacked, because long suffering speaks to an emotional experience. The Greek word there is macrothymia. The word macro means long. And thymia is an emotional heat. And so essentially the real meaning of this word is that you are long to get too hot, slow to overheat emotionally. That's my internal. So while the pressure is happening from the external, I'm trying to endure. But if I'm going to heat up in 2 seconds and blow internally, I won't be able to endure. And so my Internet internal experience has to be in a position to sustain the external pressure. The fruit of long suffering is necessary to true endurance. That's another thing that makes it different from just surviving it. I got through it. But in what state? In what state? Because the painful emotions are a part of the enduring. When we look at the three major categories of painful sadness, fear, and anger. Anger is the one that is associated with heat. Anger burns hot. Wrath burns hot. In the parable of the sower, the stony ground represents anger. It says that when the sun came out, the ground was offended by the heat. So anger is always associated with heat. So long suffering is slow to get hot. So I'm sad and I'm scared, and I'm sad and I'm scared, but I'm not hot. And we don't like to experience sadness, and we don't like to experience fear when we are in the presence of a threat. Sadness is a fallback. A disconnection is what we experience when we've been disconnected and also when we feel powerless, when we feel disconnected from a source of power. Power. Powerlessness is the emotion. And powerlessness is a form of sadness. So we shut down, we crawl in, because there's nothing I can do anyway, so I might as well just lay down and go to sleep. That's not enduring. It's not the same. Fear is a response to a threat where we try to get away from the threat. Anger is a response to a threat when we believe we have power to do something about it. So if a dog is outside, anybody remember the movie Cujo? Who's old enough to know About Cujo or you? A film. Classic film. Okay, so Cujo is the story of, like, five people. So Cujo. Somebody Google what year it came out. Hurt my feelings. It's the story of this lovely Saint Bernard dog. And y', all who don't know, Saint Bernards are huge. They're those dogs in movies that have the barrel under their neck to bring you, like, supplies in the wilderness. They're humongous dogs. So in Cujo, Cujo was this Saint Bernard who was lovely, but then he got rabies and went crazy. And this family who he used to love, he is now trying to kill. If I remember correctly, the final scenes, the family is trapped in their car, and Cujo is out there with drool and rabies just running down his mouth. And, I mean, he jumping up against the window. It was horrifying. Gave me a dog terror for years. 1983. 81. Okay, 83. 10 years old. Should not have been watching this. But Cujo is completely gone berserk. And so they are in there, and they're terrified. But if they had been in the car with 9 millimeters and ammunition, they wouldn't have been terrified. They'd have been mad. They'd be like, oh, no, you not gonna trap me in this. Open it. Boom, boom. And it's over. Because they had power to do something about it. So anger is associated with me feeling like I have the power to control this situation. When I don't feel like I have that, I'm either gonna be scared or sad. But when I feel like I have it, then anger comes up, and so I get hot and I blow. The thing about long suffering is if I actually do have the power to do something and I'm not doing it because God didn't release me to do it, I'm not allowed to stay here pissed off while I don't do anything, because that means I'm hot. So long suffering does not allow me to exist in a state of anger over a long period of time. I've blown it. If I do, that's not long suffering. It's repression. It's. When I do get the chance to come out, you gonna be sorry. All right, I see you. Mm. Just wait. And some of y' all are willing to just wait for years. And that is not a blind accusation. Cause I used to be someone. Revenge is a dish best served cold. I remember the first time I heard that quote. My whole body just was like, ooh, that's so good. That was flesh need to be crucified. And so it has not been uncommon in my walk with the Lord for him to allow trials and tribulations that brought me into arm wrestling with anger, because I must learn to endure without getting hot. And then I have achieved it at times, and then pressure gets added and I get to do it at a higher level. But that long suffering is everything. But when you think about the fact that long suffering is built on love, joy, peace, and then 1 Corinthians 13 says, Love suffers long. The long suffering has to be coming from the right emotional space. It's not just me sticking it out that doesn't give me the endurance experience. Long suffering is the fruit that we're pursuing. But I love the fact that it's built on love, joy, and peace. So it's not just me gritting my teeth. The deeper I get into receiving the love of God for myself, the more that that transforms me and allows me to endure, because his love is a safe place. And one of the things that makes endurance hard is how scared I am about how long this will last and what the outcome will be. And so love is the answer. You. Yet again, I want to give you a example, and then I'm going to. Oh, did I forgot to tell. Do the thing that Ashley told me to do. I'm sorry, Ashley. Oh, but it'd been there all the time. If you got questions, you can be sending them now. And then I'm going to use the app to answer a few. Hey, look at me. I'm going to be like PT when I grow up. So, anyway, back to long suffering. Back to long suffering. I want you to understand the relationship between long suffering and endurance. And then I'm going to switch to your questions. So I want to use the example. And I have not done a lot of this, but some of you can help me. Muscle growth. So weight training, when you weight train, sometimes we do something called training to failure. How many people have actual experience with that? Where's my, like, bodybuilder people? Thank God. Thank God. I don't have much. Maybe because I fail quickly. Maybe because I fail quickly, because a couple weeks ago I was doing a workout with my trainer, and he just used the resistance bands. There wasn't even actual weights. And I was like, sir, what in the world? I was doing that thing around my ankles. And you're like, doing this thing right here. My legs were so sore the next day, you would think I had never walked in my life. I'm like, what muscles were you hitting me with that? I. But anyway, and I Could feel that moment when my leg starts shaking and I'm like, I can't do another one. And he'd be like, yes, you can. And just do it until my leg almost gives out. So that's this training to failure. This is important because when it comes to endurance, the relationship between endurance and long suffering, it is very similar to what happens when we wait train to failure, because it's the endurance is the physical part. Can we keep adding weight or can I do one more rep before my body literally gives out? That's the endurance. How much can I withstand? Sometimes it's done by how heavy of a weight you can do. And so I've had that horrible moment when I'm doing my little bicep curls with my little £20 or whatever, and he's just like, mm, mm, you doing that too easy. Here's a heavier one. You be like, come on, man. And you be trying to fake like, no, no, it's hard. But he knows I'm lying because he can tell by how my muscle is twitching, and I can't fake that. And it's the same thing with the Holy Spirit. He knows what you got. He knows what you got in you and you falling out. I can't take no more. And he. Look at. I don't even see sweat on your brow right now. Keep going. We have to be willing to trust the Holy Spirit as our trainer. When my trainer says, you got another one in you, I believe him every time. I don't want to do it. I don't like it. It's embarrassing that my leg is shaking this hard over this small weight. It's a shame. But I trust him because I know he's not trying to hurt me. Because why would he. Why would he want to destroy me? If he injures me, that looks bad on him. I'm not going to pay him again. I'm going to talk about him. He's not going to get other customers from me. It is not his job to injure me. It is his job to show me where I can go, what my capacity is, to encourage me, to excite me. This hurts today, but in a week, in two weeks, when I can do. And I'm excited about that, that's his job. And so I know that that is his goal, that his plan for me is good, to prosper me and not to harm me, that one person. Got it? I hear you. She said, yes. But think about how quickly you will put your trust in a human that you chose to be in partnership with because you expect them, that their hope, their heart towards you is positive. And they have the skills and the knowledge and the intention and the desire to bring you into a good space. And they have information that you don't have. And so you trust them. Can you please do that for God? Can you please stop not trusting him? Because it hurts to stop trusting that his plan for you is good, that he wants to see you down the road excited about your strength and your capacity and your hope and your faith. I trust that he sees me and he knows that I'm not at break point, even though I feel like I'm at breakpoint. Please trust God more than you trust a trainer, a human. This is the God of your soul who created you. And so I have to trust that even though my arms are shaking or my legs are shaking, if my trainer says, you got three more in you, you, I do, and I'm willing to endure, but not if my internal world is so loud that I cannot stay emotionally in the place to trust him and so long. Suffering is the emotional side, because on the opposite side of endurance, when it comes to training to failure with weights, training to failure with weights also transforms people emotionally and mentally. Mentally, because your brain is designed to constantly be scanning for scarcity versus capacity versus threat. Do I have capacity for this threat? Our fallen nature is always asking that question, does my capacity meet the size of the threat? And if I don't believe that it does, even if it does, but I don't believe it, I won't be able to endure. So if my trainer says, you got three more in you, and you go, no, I don't, I'll never find out that I did because internally I didn't make it. I didn't have the emotional depth to hold on to what my God is telling me. And so now comes back to something I say often, which nobody ever loves to hear. Your relationship with pain will determine the trajectory of your entire life, including your walk with the Lord. When we believe that the most important thing in our lives is to not be in physical or emotional pain, it will limit where we go. Because even though I see joy set before me, I don't believe that I can endure the pain emotionally or physically. To get from here to there. Something that I learned when I was studying this whole train to failure weightlifting to failure, that blew me away, which I didn't really had really clicked before, is that this kind of training actually helps with trauma recovery. Because when you push through the emotional terror and find out you can do something that you didn't know you could do. It also strengthens your nervous system so you don't get as scared the next time. Trauma increases my belief that my capacity is small in the face of a threat. And so when I learn that I have more capacity that I thought, it heals that a little bit it every time I do it. And so the trying of my faith worketh endurance and endurance worketh experience and hope. And that helps to heal me spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. This is why I love the Bible. When my word, the Bible says in first Peter, I believe it's chapter two. That in. Or is it two Peter, chapter one is one of those that in this word he has given us all things pertaining to life and godliness. Not just godliness, but life. I'm glad that as therapists and think we've figured out how to help people. But it's amazing that if we were really following what the Bible is asking us to do with our hearts open, it is actually healing to us. And so endurance, long suffering, even though it's the first fruit of the spirit on the list, it doesn't sound exciting, is actually carrying a lot of the healing that you're seeking in other areas of your life, and you're not in it on your own. The Holy Spirit is your spotter, your trainer. And yes, every time you are probably gonna hit a point of failure. But when we train to failure, it releases chemicals in our body that build muscle, because it's a message that says, you will need to be stronger to do this next time. And so the muscle fibers start to grow. And the same thing happens to us spiritually and in our walk with God when we go all the way through it and we hit our limit and we collapse. And then we see how God shows up. It makes us stronger for the next one. And we keep on going through that so that hope gets bigger, faith gets stronger, hope gets bigger, faith gets stronger. And so internally and externally, I'm getting stronger. I'm over time. So I'm gonna read you a few things about this relationship between endurance and long suffering, and then I'm gonna answer your questions. Are you ready? Endurance is how you handle what happens to you. Long suffering is how you handle what happens in you. Endurance preserves your assignment. Long suffering preserves your identity. Endurance is your strength under pressure. Long suffering is your softness under provocation. Endurance forms your behavior. Long suffering regulates your emotions. Endurance faces trials. Long suffering faces triggers. Endurance is situational fidelity. Long suffering brings emotional fidelity. Endurance shapes your outer walk. Long suffering shapes Your inner world, you cannot do one without the other. Amen. It is so worth enduring long suffering. Oh, this is a truth that I'm almost scared to speak. But it has become my most treasured fruit. I won't say it's my favorite, but it has become most treasured. Because the glimpses of glory that I keep getting at the point of failure, the joy set before me, the glimpses, the touches of what he said, getting to encounter that it makes it feel so worth it. And so it's become my most treasured fruit. Because the bit of it that I have, and I ain't saying I got it all, the bit of it that I have, it has been hard won and it has helped me to know God in such a real way and that loops right back around. More love, more joy, more peace. I have found that I have less catastrophic thinking as my long suffering has increased. I have found that my anxiety has begun to dissolve to the same extent that my long suffering is increasing. Because when I find out what I actually can endure and that the Holy Spirit actually never leaves me, I don't need to be in the future figuring out worst case scenarios to protect myself from and stressing myself out in this moment, I can actually believe that his mercies are new every morning. Greatest thy faithfulness. Because I've seen it. Because on that day, whatever does come on that day, his mercy in the morning that he gave me is enough for that day. I will be able to make it because I have made it. That's what hope does. Long suffering is so treasured by me. Now I don't. It ain't a favorite, but it is so valued. Hear the difference. Because what's been happening to me has been changing what happens in me. And will I have another shot? Yes. You know, there were so many, man, the hits that, the hits. Talk about the hits that keep coming. This year it was like automatic weapon fire, God, mercy, Jesus. But as the turn started to happen, the one thing that. That's why I say the long suffering's been so valuable to me that I've been happy to look back over is there were hits that I can remember five years ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago that took me down, that left me saying, God, are you real? But that never crossed my mind this year. God, are you trying to kill me? Did I do something wrong to. That didn't cross my mind this year? I was able in those pressures to say, I can't see you on this one, but I know I will and I'm Excited for what's coming. Even while I lay under this weight, I have been able to let tears stream down my face. And since that longing, it changed the way I read Gethsemane. Now when it says, when Jesus said, let this cup pass from me, like, I don't even know if it was a true request in the same. In so much as it was an expression of a longing to not be suffering like this, but also a knowing that he's in it with me and that it will eventually be okay. It has been a great treasure to have gotten to the place where I haven't doubted him, to ask him questions without questioning him, and to be willing to endure, because he's never failed me before. He's never failed me before. And I want to be that girl for him that he's like, I know she got me. I know she's not gonna try and say anything about who I'm not. I want to make him proud in that way. He loves me all the time, but I also want to make him proud. And so he helped me to do that a little bit this year, I think, and it was because he let long suffering be worked in me, and that allows us to endure. Anybody want a little more? Oh, look at y'. All. They'll be like, I don't know. It's coming no matter what. You know why? Because when we become disciples of Jesus, and I'll wrap with this, going back to the first verse, we read Hebrews 12:1. When we come into line with Jesus and we start to follow him, we step into a story that was already being written. This great cloud of witnesses is watching our next. This is our leg of the race. We've taken the baton, and we're running the relay leg. We didn't start this thing, so we're. We're stepping into a story that's already being written. And so I have to endure. I have to allow this be worked in me so that I can run my leg right. And then if the Lord delay his coming, and I close my eyes at 104, and I join the great cloud of witnesses and pass, and someone else grabs this, I'm stepping into a story that was already being written. The good news is there's victory in this story. So I have to win. That's the joy. I have to win. Amen. Amen. All right, all right. Endurance. Endurance. Endurance. Pain is not the end. It's not the end. It is just a part of the process of my transformation, but it's not the end. Amen. It's not the end. Questions, questions. I gotta figure out this little app. All right, here we go. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. All right. I love this little system. All right, so the top voted question, yalls favorite question so far is how do you know when a situation is in a test to a. How do you know when a situation is a test to endure versus an attack from the enemy to rebuke? Excellent question, excellent question. Here's how I go about this. I rebuke the enemy every time. When would you not rebuke the enemy? When would you not let the devil know what he not going to do? When would you not have the blood of Jesus line drawn around you? I have his cover. I am protected. No pestilence can come nigh my dwelling place. He has me under the feathers of his wing. I am covered. Devil, you have no place here. I rebuke you in the name of Jesus and shucks, I pay my tithe. You can't get on my money. The Lord rebuke you on my behalf. Anything that's left after that I probably am about to endure. But baby, I don't leave any room. It's important because when we are in a trial and the pain is there, we are vulnerable, which means there are parts of our guard that can be more down. And sometimes the enemy can sneak in. When the soil of my heart is troubled, he will try to drop a seed of a lie about what God is not going to do and about why this is and this is the consequences. You're suffering the fruit of that thing you did 10 years ago. The Bible says that God is not mocked, that whatever man sows, he'll also reap. And so you still have to reap what you did. He'll start drawing those lies and because your heart is troubled, the seeds start getting in. And so you do rebuke him. You say you are a liar and the truth is not in you. I don't know why I'm going through this trial. I don't know where God's trying to get me. But I will win and you will lose. Never stop reminding the devil and yourself about your victory over him. And there's something about gathering the little bit of strength you have to tell the devil off a little because it reminds me that I am a warrior, I am a fighter. And I am actually maybe in some training by the Lord and training is hard. But oh, when I come out of here with my new strength level devil, I'm a stomp all over your head. So always rebuke him and endure. It doesn't need to be one or the other. You may not be able to tell under the pressure. So just go ahead and rebuke them. Get your oil out, rub it, do the thing. Okay, I done did it all. And then I trust God. Because even if the enemy attack, even if it is the enemy attacking me, my Bible says that he will force good to come out of it, that he will cause all things to work together for good to them who love God and are called according to his purpose. And so even if it is the enemy attacking me, God getting in it with me is going to make me come out with such a benefit that he will wish he did not attack me. So he's going to lose no matter what unless I quit and let him win in this instance. And even if I let him win over me in this instance, he is not going to win over me in the long term. Oh, Lord Jesus, let me tell. Oh, I want to say I got a DM this week. So y' all know I do try to read them. I don't read them all. I don't get to. But some of them I do. And I got this one. I wanted to talk about it tonight because I feel like it's relevant to the this part. So a young woman sent me this dm. She was distressed because she had been dealing with an addiction and she felt like she had really gotten it under control. She'd gone to AA for a long time, no problem with her sobriety from alcohol, but she had been holding her body together celibate for nine months and then wasn't. And she was so distressed. Man, I made it this all this time and like I blew it and I threw it away. And she's just feeling horrible and dejected. And so she had talked about how she had been working to not have idols in her life and to not let AA be an idol, even though it was helping her sobriety but feeling like she was making an idol. And so she was just like, I don't know what to do and I feel so lost and I feel like God is looking at me like I'm not even worth it and why do I do this to myself? And I just throw it all away and she was just beating herself up. And what I wanted to say, but I've saved it for tonight, was that maybe the idol is actually perfection. If when you are not perfect, you are ready to throw it all away and you believe that the failure, nothing's going to work now, because you dropped the ball, because you did something that he died knowing you would, the purpose of his bloodshed was to cover your moment. And so if in this moment, when we do drop the ball, I don't want you to feel like you didn't endure because you had a fail moment like that. Because we can get into this perfectionistic thing and we're clicking that thing and be like, man, I made it nine months without cussing or without sleeping with someone out here without cheating or lying. And you're to trying, trying to use perfection as the standard that you endured. Where is the excitement that even in this fallen moment, oh, I get to now utilize the grace of God and the blood of Jesus. So even when I have now trained to a failure, I have not lost. Because this time I ran into his grace so fast, I didn't let shame take me over and I let more of his love come into me so that I can give out more. I had the chance to roll in this and that made me stronger because more love means more joy and more joy means more peace. And more peace means more long suffering. And so even in this, I have the opportunity to let God be a winner. Don't let perfection be your idol. If your behavior being right every moment is the thing that makes you feel like you won. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to produce the fruits, but that's just external. What happened to her internally was the terror. Shame started taking over. Does that make sense? So endurance is I'm in this thing until God lets me out. And that doesn't mean that you will behave perfectly in every moment. When you train to failure, it's actually a failure. I train to failure. What took me to my limit. And that limit may not always be an act of sin. That limit might be when I finally just broke down crying and I was trying not to. It may just be where I did actually finally tell that person off and I got hot. It's not necessarily on your 10 commandment list, but I failed. My Bible says whatsoever is not of faith is sin. So I will hit a point where I'm like God, I can't move another muscle. I can't find another thing. I can't. Training to failure means that you will find out what your limits were. And now we get digging in with God and find out what his limits are. It is an experience with God when you drop the ball that you get better at better and falling into his love faster than into your shame. And you've been taught that if you don't feel deep shame and self hatred. It means you're not sorry. But it means I fell short of the mark and I don't want to fall so short again. And the only answer to that is for me to get more love, get back into his love. Amen. Amen. So wanted to give that point. All right, hold on. Was that a follow up question to that point? Her. So our question was why do people who have been in abusive relationship or have been abused or traumatized sometimes stay in traumatizing situations believing that God is asking them to? We all, yeah, we all struggle with discerning the voice of God from our experiences. We all do. Whether it's God is father and maybe I talked about this, I think last week that you had a father maybe who was abusive or loud or mean and then needing to realize that God is not your father. God is the good father. I think we all struggle to learn who God really is through his word. And it's just a journey that he takes all of us on. Therapy's a good way to help with that often, but I think we all struggle with that. I think we all struggle with discerning God's voice from our own. Because a lot of times our personality is actually driving what we think God would tell us to do. So if we're the kind of people. Oh yeah, I got you. Yeah, yeah. Because generally there are certain personality types who are more likely to remain in abusive relationships or spaces. Those personality types are also more likely to be great friends who always say yes and show up to help you when you need help. Every type, every personality has strengths and weaknesses. And so very often the voice of God for us, we haven't discerned the difference between his voice and our own voice. And so because if we're scared to leave a situation, we may believe that God's telling us to stay. And if we are the kind of people that will bounce, we may believe that God is telling us to bounce when he's telling us to stay. It's not one way or the other. All of us have to to learn when. Sometimes the prison door swings open and he lets us out. Sometimes this prison door swings open, but we supposed to stay right where we are. We see both in scripture, but you want to pursue the word of the Lord that matches what you want the most. And that's all spiritual maturity, but it's also emotional maturity as well that I'm able to hear an answer from the Lord that I don't want. And so I don't believe God ever abuses us. I'm not saying he's ever going to tell you to stand abusive situation. But we may find ourselves needing to stay in uncomfortable situations or painful situations that we would rather leave. And God may be saying be still. Or he may be saying get out. And you're saying, you saying be still. So always check on your natural capacities and your natural desires and see if you're bringing God with you all the time instead of going with him. All right, next highest question. How do you know when it's time to endure? Oh, I guess we almost answered that just now. How do you know when it's time to endure versus when it is a time to sit down and rest? Okay, good question. First of all, endurance is if you're enduring a trial, something from your environment, like you can't not endure it. So let's say what endurance means. That question, the opposite of sit and rest is my own works. So are you saying how do you know when to stop trying to do stuff that might be different. But if I'm under, if I'm in a trial situation and God has allowed this come into my life to shape me, there ain't nothing I can do honestly about it. Maybe you might notice that what you've been trying to do ain't working and you could stop. That's a good time to stop any activity. If you've been doing it all year and it ain't and it has borne no fruit and I'm not talking. I was about to say other than like prayer, but I'm even gonna get on that. It depends how you're praying. If you've been all year long. Father, please do this, please do this, please do this, please do this, please do this. Maybe it's time to pray differently. God, I thank you that you are gonna take care of this. When you take care of it, how you take care of it. You have. I've already expressed the desires of my heart. You know what I desire, you know what I need before I even even ask it. And so I'm. I am done. I will don't need to keep asking over and over for the thing. Maybe pray about something else. If you really believe that he already heard you and answers on his way, then your repetition is not doing anything. Especially if you feel anxious when you're doing it. God, I'm sorry. God, if you could just. God, you said if you could just do this thing for me. If you just do this thing for me. Like that is not adding. That's not making Your prayer more holy. So always be aware of where you are on the inside when you're praying. But if you're doing something that is bearing zero fruit, it is okay to stop doing that thing. And a lot of times we will keep going because then the question you'll be like, well, what am I supposed to do? Nothing. Yeah, maybe if there's nothing that is actually productive. And so if that. If you're one of those people where if it said just stop it, and you'd be like, and then what? Then you're probably one of the people that needs to just stop. Right. But we also have, on the other hand, we have people who are more passive and they will just freeze and shut down and wait. And very often our spiritual growth and when we're in that posture is to move, is to get up, is to do. And so our spiritual maturity is often stretching us in the opposite direction of our natural posture. Amen. So it's a good thing. So if it ain't working at all, it's bearing zero fruit, other than more anxiety for you, then I would say to stop and rest. And if you can rest, that would be great. Resting is not an easy thing to do because that's an internal state too. That's an internal state too. So. All right, next question. I like this process. What time is it? 8:35. Are we doing pretty good? Next question. How do you manage having faith in God and hoping for the best while keeping yourself prepared for things not working out, slash the worst outcome so you aren't as hurt. This my answer? No. Okay, so this sounds like a motto I used to live by. Expect something, get nothing, be disappointed, expect nothing, get something, be pleasantly surprised. Which is really just saying, try to expect nothing and prepare for the worst always. That is not a way to live. You preparing for the worst case scenario and having faith in God is not going to work. This is parable of the sower. Matthew, chapter 13. Thorny ground. In the thorny ground, it says, the seeds of the Word fell on that ground and they did begin to grow. Which means there was some faith and some hope and some joy in that soil. But it said as the fruit got ready to mature, thorny plants also grew up and choked the fruit of the Word. That thorny ground. That's the anxieties of this world, the pleasures of this world, the care for riches, all of the that we try and put in place to protect ourselves against the worst case scenario. It is fear. And so while the good thing was growing, the fear grew up out of that same soil and choked the fruit. So, no, I cannot imagine my worst case scenarios and do everything I can to prepare for that and also protect the good fruit that is coming. Those thorny plants will choke the other fruit out. You cannot do both. You cannot do both. I hear the desire to do both, but the desire is, how do I still continue to protect myself self and also test trusting God. It will not work. Those thorns will choke the fruit. And I know how scary that is. So I'm supposed to just let it all go, huh? Just be out here, just, you know. No, I didn't. The, the real question is, what's the difference between wisdom and terror? Because a lot of times we're trying to be like, what would be wise, right? It is wise. Two, if you can possibly do it, have a financial goal of having six months of emergency fund in your life, that's wise. It's a wise thing to do. Because I believe I haven't heard this updated statistic lately, but I believe the average American cannot easily handle a $500 emergency. A $500 emergency will shift your whole reality. It could threaten rent or a car because we live in a very difficult time. Expenses are outrageous, all of the things. And so it is wise if you can, if you're trying to change your financial life to first of all, pay your tithes. And so because we trust God and then build a savings that will cover six months of expenses if you haven't. That is wisdom. We have it established. That's not the same as saying, well, I can't pay my. I'm going to only pay 5% and then put that. And when I have the six months, then I'll pay my tithes as 10%. That's you trying to protect yourself and also trying to sort of make your way to God. Go to God and then let wisdom come from there. You can't try and start work your fears as your base and see how much God you can put into the space. You start with him and then you go from there. So we're not saying don't be wise. We're not saying like, well, I believe God. So I'm gonna go out and. And live in my car and sell all my stuff because God's gonna do it. No. Somebody. No, no. Now maybe Gabriel himself. I would need the angel who told Mary she was pregnant. Not just any angel. That one. Like, I need that one to come and say, sell everything you got and live in your car for God to surprise. Maybe he's as some Of y'. All. But I'm just saying, for me, sometimes we are. Especially for people who are naturally high risk takers. If your personality naturally involves a willingness to do high risk things, that has a lot of benefits in this life. But you will be more likely to blend that with God and then really go for it. Now you bungee jumping without a cord. Cause you like, hey, I got God with me, but, you know, so it's so important for you to know yourself because we will plug the holes in the story with God to get the outcome we want. I don't want to endure this. I just want to leap. God told me to leap. And then you call the church. Talk about, I've been a member here for a long time and my. If you could help me with a little. I'm like, what just happened? You sold all your. You did what? And so in those moments, I hear people who need to know who God is, but also need to continue to mature emotionally also, sometimes high risk takers will do that, and sometimes low risk takers. See, God told me not to do nothing again. Discerning your voice from his wisdom is different than fear, though. And the first place you can find that is in your body. You know, what feels like that is not. That's not God. God doesn't bear that kind of anxious fruit. He will have us at peace and love moving into whatever he actually told us to do. Okay, so you don't get to. You don't get to do it. Don't get to do it. And planning for worst case scenarios is also a way to try to avoid pain in the future. And the relationship with pain has to be changed. You really cannot control the present, so the future is out of the question. All right, last question. I've struggled with things I've done in the past. How do I let go of my shame and embarrassment and embrace my past so I can enjoy where I am and where I'm going? Well, there's not just one answer to this, but I like to encourage people to share. Excuse me, Share something that you are struggling with, shame attached to your past with someone who you know loves you. Because their response will help you see that you are still lovable. And so the number one way to get out from under the shame of a secret is to not have a secret. It's easier said than done. It's easier said than done. I know it's easier said than done, but try it one person at a time. Someone that you know loves you, someone that you know, if they came to you and shared the same thing. You would throw your arms around them and be like, God loves you so much. You would not treat them the way you treat yourself about that thing in your past. And so give someone else a chance to be an instrument of God's agape love to pour into you. Because a secret is not just stop being a secret because you told someone. It stops being a shameful secret because you took the power out of it. You took the power away from it. Because if you tell one person, but your fear is they're gonna tell someone, you still have a secret, right? And so when I used to do sex abuse counseling groups, that would be one of the first things I told them on day one. There's seven women in this room, each of you. And men are sexually abused as. As well. It's just my clients were women. There's seven women in this room. You each came in here with a secret. The goal is not for you to leave with seven secrets, because now you have your secret and everybody else's. The goal is for you to not have a secret. And so by the end of the work that we were doing together, my only hope for them was that they would not only share their story with someone, but that they would ask someone in their family if they had been abused, help someone else out of their secret so that they no longer had a secret. And so I had this t shirt that said I was sexually abused on the front, and on the back, it said, but I'm not anymore. And I would hang it up in the room for them to see. And on the first session, they would all be like, nobody would ever wear such a T shirt. And by the end of the group, 20 weeks, every time without fail, they were fighting for who got to wear it first and walk out into the street. I was like, now I want you to go across the street to the corner store wearing that T shirt. And everybody wanted to do it to be like, can I drive home? And then come back? I mean, everybody wanted to do it because the goal is to be able to say, if someone looks at you and goes, does that say you were sexually abused? I want their answer to be, yes, I was. And God has healed me, and therapy has helped me. Do you need help? Were you abused? Can I help you? Because they have changed how they feel about it on the inside. But when it started, it would have been like, I don't want anybody to know because of what you believe it says about you. So you have to start opening up those pieces and letting God, other people, therapy, help. You have a true vision of the fact that you are loved despite what you've been through and despite the things that you've done, because God loves you. But one of the things that makes it hard for us to release that is we don't want to also believe and embrace how breakable and vulnerable we are. We don't like to admit that someone broke us because that means I'm breakable. But guess what? I'm breakable. And so are you. You are absolutely. That. You are absolutely that fragile. Yes, you actually are fragile. If somebody runs over you with a car, your leg will break, your bone will not sustain, and you are just as breakable emotionally as you are physically. And that's okay. It's okay. I am breakable. But I can be healed as well. And pain will never be the end of my story. And so I can risk not only loving you and being loved by you, but I can risk letting God love me because he always heals me. I am breakable. That's okay. And embracing that is huge. Alrighty. I gotta stop. What'd you say? Long suffering. Endurance. Endurance. Now, y'. All. Did y' all put your question in the app? Okay. Now, you think I'm gonna let you start talking now when I'm about to dismiss and you're telling me it was so long, you'll start talking? You have to come to come down and share it with me when we get done because multiple hands went up. And then I'll feel bad, like I let one person do a lot of talking and. And I wasn't fair to other people. So. But come and share with me if you like, or send me a. Send me a note. Alrighty. Would somebody please put up this. Would you guys please put up the slide from Romans chapter five that had the multiple words in it? Somebody else would want it. And then I'm just listening. If there's anything else that the Holy Spirit would like me to share, we're going to get ready to give. Thank you. You're welcome. You're welcome. Long suffering, It's the capacity to not overheat under pressure. Sustained pressure. The capacity to not overheat under sustained pressure. You will not have a lot of it at first. You will go to failure quickly. But the next time you will be stronger. And the next time you will be stronger and you'll start to get a little bit of runner's high. He said run your race with endurance. After you run a little distance. You do get that runner's high. I promise. But it takes a minute. And that's okay. That first run, listen, every time I fall off from running and I start running again, I only run at night. I don't want anybody to see how out of shape I am. And in California, there's always people out, but at night, it's not that many people. So they don't see me, like, after one block, you know, if I'm running in the daytime, I'm up here, you know, in the beginning, I gotta run for a minute, and then I gotta walk for a minute. I gotta run for a minute. I gotta walk for a minute. But as I get back into my training, I can run for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes, an hour. And then I hit that high where you're just like, ooh. It's like turbo boost. It takes a minute. Just keep running your race with endurance, you'll get stronger, faster, better, and you'll get closer to that joy. Amen. Amen. Let's give. Let's give. I love you guys. I love you guys. Long suffering. Long suffering. Let's give. We always want to bring a gift in the house of the Lord. I won't. I won't belabor it. There's the Q code. QR code is up there. The tap is on the back of your chair. You know, it's always good to stretch yourself a little. Especially we talked about long suffering. But whatever God lays on your heart to give, give it is a blessing and believe God for increasing your. Not just your long suffering so that you can have the endurance, but your love, joy and peace that comes before that. Love, joy and peace comes before that. If you're ready to give, just lift it up. I'm gonna pray. Father, thank you. Thank you, Jesus, for showing us how to live victoriously, for showing us how to walk in love, for showing us how to endure and proving the resurrection power that is on the other side of that enduring. Thank you that the joy set before you was us. Thank you that we were worth it, that you endured for us. Let us have a fresh experience with your love that adds our joy, being how our endurance may be a blessing to someone else. Father, thank you that a day is coming when we will be able to say from experience the hope that we have in you to someone else who is going through what we endured. And thank you that we will be able to tell them about the long suffering that was created within us, that we will throw our arms around them and intercede and pray for them from a place and a heart of Understanding their pain, but also with excitement about how you will show up specifically for them in their situation because of what you did for us. Let the joy set before us not be just our own deliverance and the desires of our own heart, but that we will be able to be a blessing to someone else just like we were the joy set before you. In Jesus name, Amen. Hallelujah. Amen. Amen. Get home safe. I love you and I'll see you on Sunday. I see your hand where I'm going to preach about going to war, baby. Going to war. Do we have homework? Oh, homework, homework, homework, homework for endurance. Yes. I want you to tell somebody else about what's hardest about the thing you're enduring now. I want you to be vulnerable with someone about what's hard about what you're enduring now and ask them to pray for you and offer to pray for them and what they are enduring vulnerability. What's hard about the endurance? What's the internal part that's hard? Be honest about it and ask them to pray for you and then hear them and pray for them. That's your homework. I love that. That's a good one. Amen. Hey, family.
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Well, I pray that you were just as blessed by this teaching as I was. I'm just so grateful again to be a part of a dynamic community full of love, full of revelation and wisdom. One has been a movement that's been blessing people for over two decades and I'm so glad that you got an opportunity to experience it. I also have a podcast called the called it's right here on wherever you're listening to this Spotify or Apple or wherever you're listening to this podcast, you can just look up the call T H E C A L L E D with myself T Roberts. This is designed for entrepreneurs, leaders and business people. It's a weekly podcast and it will bless you. But hey, I enjoyed having you here. Meet us here next week. Check out the the call. Much blessings to you. We'll catch you next time.