ONE | A Potter’s House Church
Episode: Don’t Be Offended – Ebenezer Quaye (Wednesday Bible Study)
Date: March 13, 2026

Overview

This episode, led by Pastor Ebenezer Quaye, centers on the theme “Don’t Be Offended,” exploring what true offense means from a biblical perspective. Drawing from Matthew 18:6-7 and engaging with questions from the congregation, Pastor Quaye examines offense not just as hurt feelings, but as actions or attitudes that cause believers—or ourselves—to stumble and veer from the path of Jesus. The teaching emphasizes humility, self-examination, and the communal responsibility to avoid becoming stumbling blocks, while offering practical spiritual strategies for handling offense as individuals and as a church body.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Redefining Offense: Beyond Hurt Feelings

[03:15–07:00]

• Scripture Focus: Matthew 18:6-7; comparison between NKJV and KJV (“offend” vs. “cause to sin”)
• The Greek term scandalizo translates to “entrap,” “stumble,” or “to entice to sin,” shifting offense from emotional hurt to spiritual stumbling.
• Offending someone isn’t just about making them mad or sad—it is about potentially causing spiritual harm, even deterring their walk with Jesus.

Memorable Quote

"This is bigger than me hurting someone’s feelings. This is me doing damage to someone’s walk." — Ebenezer Quaye [07:35]

2. The Seriousness of Being a “Stumbling Block”

[07:00–17:30]

• Jesus warns that it would be better to have “a millstone hung around your neck” than to make a believer stumble—offense carries real spiritual weight.
• Offense is likened to a “trap-stick”—something in another’s path causing them to fall away from God.

Notable Analogy

"You can hurt someone’s feelings, but when you say or do something hoping to draw out the worst version of themselves, you become a stumbling block." [11:42]

3. The Cycle of Offense: Offending, Being Offended, and Offending Ourselves

[17:45–30:00]

• We are not only at risk of being offended but of offending others, intentionally or not.
• There’s a third, often-overlooked category: self-offense. When we make choices or expose ourselves to situations that derail our own faith journey.
• Honest self-examination is vital: “What in my day trips me up? What relationships or habits do I allow that offend myself?” [29:15]

Personal Reflection

“At the end of the day, before I blame anybody for offending me, can I look in the mirror?” — Ebenezer Quaye [23:44]

4. Humility as a Defense Against Offense

[31:00–37:30]

• Staying “low”—in humility—protects us from being easily offended and from becoming a tripping stick in someone else’s faith.
• Social media amplifies the risk; our lifestyles and platforms can unwittingly lead others astray.

Memorable Quotes

“Offended people are eligible to be used to offend others.” [19:48]

“I don’t want the millstone around my neck… I’m not trying to go out in the middle of the sea.” [59:56]

5. Responding to Offense: Accountability & Strategic Pause

[43:00–49:30]

• Offense makes us defensive; humility and spiritual companionship are vital to pulling us back.
• Surround yourself with others who will call you higher when offense strikes—don’t respond alone or in the flesh.
• Pause before reacting: “There is no exchange that needs to happen rapid fire. You can pause.” [45:22]

Humorous Anecdote

“I was on a call once, and somewhere on the call, I got offended… My wife was two rooms away and she came in, ‘Whatever this call is, you need to end this call right now!’”— Ebenezer Quaye [43:33]

6. Community, Correction, and the Fruits of the Spirit

[49:30–60:00]

• Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 is used to demonstrate the value of spiritual partners: “Two are better than one… for if they fall, one will lift up his companion…”
• Walking in the Spirit produces fruits that protect both us and others from offense.
• Correction should not be offensive when done “in the Spirit”—its purpose is to realign, not to stumble.

Practical Insight

“When you choose to stay in the Spirit, even if you are offended for a moment, you can choose not to get defensive. Acknowledge it, but get back in the Spirit before you respond—if you respond at all.” [56:42]

7. The Necessity—but Not Inevitability—of Offense

[61:00–72:00]

• Offense is unavoidable in a fallen world (“for it must needs be that offenses come”—Matthew 18:7).
• We must be vigilant because anyone, even the spiritually mature, can fall out of the Spirit unexpectedly.
• Our aim: “Not to interrupt someone’s path to Jesus.” [65:00]

8. Self-Examination and the “Tripping Sticks” in Our Life

[72:00–79:00]

• Daily, not seasonal, self-examination protects against hidden patterns of offense (certain topics, relationships, or habits).
• Being honest about what regularly takes you out of the Spirit.
• “What are the relationships in my life that are my turn-up people—but not for Jesus?” [75:17]

9. Platform Responsibility

[81:00–83:00]

• With any platform comes the responsibility not to misuse influence or become a stumbling block—online or offline.
• Govern your life and platform by God’s standard, not just your own.

Q&A Highlighted Segments

[83:00–120:00] (1:23:00–2:00:00)

Q1: Navigating Offense Between Believers

• Disagreements shouldn’t overshadow the main mission of leading people to Jesus.
• “The need to be understood has become greater than the need to lead people to Jesus.” [85:19]
• “We can disagree and still agree on the main thing which is Jesus is Lord… speak your peace, keep your peace.” [89:40]

Q2: Repeated Offense vs. Abuse

• Occasional offense is inevitable, but repeated exposure or remaining in cycles of offense crosses into abuse.
• “It’s one thing to have something trip you up. I think abuse is when you get tripped and you continue to lay down.” [93:54]

Q3: Offense vs. Correction

• Offense derails faith; correction should realign and restore.
• Correction removes stumbling blocks; offense adds them. [97:20]

Q4: Not Being a Stumbling Block vs. Not Being a Doormat

• Align with your God-given path—don’t remain in places of continual mistreatment or “stay on the ground.” [101:48]
• “Every authority answers to [God]. So I’m going to go to him.” [104:23]

Q5: When to Respond to Offense

• Rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment—some conversations are done before we want them to be.
• “Just because I believe it’s incomplete doesn’t mean God doesn’t believe it’s complete.” [109:37]
• “God heals all things, including hurt feelings. What we’re not going to do is offend myself by not listening to my Father when He tells me to end the conversation.” [112:11]

Concluding Charge

[116:40–End]

• Offense is one of the primary attacks against the body of Christ. Everyone is offendable and can cause offense—what matters is recognizing, repenting, and refusing to carry offense forward.
• Take old, unresolved offenses to prayer; don’t let them make you a “tripping stick” in your own or anyone else’s walk.
• Walking without offense maximizes our ability to reflect Jesus truly and walk in unity.

Final Quote

“Any offense that we carry, whether we realize it or not, we’re tripping on it every single day… Take this stumbling block out of your walk so that you don’t become a stumbling block for someone else.” — Ebenezer Quaye [118:35]

Summary Table of Key Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |--------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:15–07:00 | Redefining “offense” (scriptural exposition, word study) | | 11:42 | Analogy of triggering the worst in others | | 17:45 | Recognizing self-offense | | 29:15 | Practical self-examination | | 43:33 | Anecdote: Real-life moment of offense and correction | | 45:22 | The importance of a spiritual pause before responding | | 56:42 | Returning to the Spirit before answering offense | | 65:00 | Not being a roadblock to someone’s faith journey | | 75:17 | Examining relationships and routines that plant offense | | 85:19 | On unity vs. the need to be understood in the body | | 89:40 | Disagreement does not mean division in Christ | | 93:54 | Offense vs. abuse | | 97:20 | Correction vs. offense | | 101:48 | Not being a doormat for mistreatment | | 104:23 | The only authority is God’s | | 109:37 | Letting God direct which situations require a response | | 112:11 | God heals all things—let Him end the conversation | | 118:35 | The cost of carrying daily offense |

Core Takeaways

• Offense is a spiritual snare, not simply an emotional reaction; it can derail your walk or another’s.
• Remaining humble and self-aware is a safeguard against both offending others and taking offense ourselves.
• Examine your daily routines, relationships, and even your social media influence for hidden “tripping sticks.”
• Stay accountable to wise companions and the Holy Spirit when responding to offense.
• The mission remains: reflect Jesus in all things, avoid becoming a stumbling block, and respond to correction for the sake of the Gospel and unity in the body.

For further reflection:
What are the “tripping sticks” in your own faith walk? How can your words, online presence, or daily habits be changed to ensure you are not drawing others—or yourself—away from Christ? Take time in prayer and community to address and remove these obstacles.