← One Broke Actress
One Broke Actress
moving OUT of los angeles but staying in the hollywood game - how actress lauren sweetser premiered at sundance while living in arkansas
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- [00:00]
Sam Valentine
Fast Forward Productions the Women are speaking what's up guys? Welcome back to another episode of the One Broke Actress podcast. An honest account of actor life plus a few lessons I learned in the process. And today we are kicking it old school with a nice guest episode. This guest was actually way back in episode 40 of the podcast. So about 160 episodes ago or so I had Lauren Sweetser on with an Actor Roundtable episode. We'll link that below. And if you want to hear how far she has come and how much her career has changed, I would start with that one and then listen to this episode. Let me tell you something. Lauren is a two time Sundance film premiering actress. She has been in shows like oh, I don't know, NCIS Los Angeles and True Detective and For All Mankind. She had her breakout role in a little movie called Winter's Bone alongside Jennifer Lawrence and she is a producer of her own content as well, including the 2018 period thriller the Riot Act. Lauren moved post Pandemic to Fayetteville, Arkansas where she is a fifth generation Arkansas dweller and she's continued her acting career from that point. I think this is such an interesting conversation because so many of you are in different markets or are afraid to leave your major market in fear that it will close down your career or shut doors in your face. And I think you're going to learn a lot inside of this episode. So Lauren takes us through all the ins and outs of that choosing to move in order to start her family elsewhere, how she dealt with her big booking inside of the Pandemic of For All Mankind in May of 2020 with an intimacy coordinator. Oh my God, can't even imagine. So in today's episode she is going to take us through how she moved out of Los Angeles and successfully maintained her career and grew it in the process because one of the first bookings she got from Her Life in Arkansas just premiered at Sundance, ladies and gentlemen and she's going to break down how that process went, how she dealt with the audition while she was on her bachelorette party, what changed about that audition versus other ones, and how she's continued to build her career while not in her main Los angeles market after 15 years of working here. Towards the end of the episode we also get into some really good chat about how she came to LA with a bang with a big well known movie under her belt. She went to the Oscars, she was thrown into this big life and then she was having big meetings like when she auditioned for Argo at Ben Affleck's desk or her audition for the newsroom where she sat across from Aaron Sorkin and ran the scenes. And how going through that process and not booking those roles after being thrown into the Hollywood machine really reset her mind and how she has worked past that point. We all know this scenario way too well, even if we haven't been at that upper echelon of Hollywood yet. The points where, hmm, we think we've figured it out, we think we've hacked the system, we think maybe it's not as hard as people sold it to us, maybe we have a different story and maybe that's true for some of you, but for a lot of people, when they experience that sort of success, they haven't yet experienced the post success that comes with it. She's going to break that all down for us today and so much more, including recently becoming a mom. She had her 8 month old baby with a babysitter for the duration of the podcast, which was so kind. I really appreciate her time and I think you're going to learn a lot and really take into these stories. So without further ado, please, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy. Lauren Sweetser, I'm going to start you off with actually my first LA memory with you, which is really fun. You were the first person I knew to move to la, so we knew each other in college. The only people that I knew that were Greek and active in the Greek community and also in the theater acting program. So it was a really small group. We managed to do both. And I came to LA a year after you had been here and I came out for my senior showcase. You let me stay with you and I don't know if you remember this, but the first night I was in town, you said, oh, we're gonna go out to dinner and it'll be super fun. And I slept on your couch. And I was just assuming we'd just go get food and hang. A limo picked us up. Do you remember this?
- [04:38]
Lauren Sweetser
Wait, what? Where was I living? Wait, where was this? Where was I living at this time?
- [04:42]
Sam Valentine
Marina Del Rey or Playa Vista? Like that area?
- [04:47]
Lauren Sweetser
Wait. Oh, yes. Oh my gosh.
- [04:49]
Sam Valentine
You remember that?
- [04:51]
Lauren Sweetser
Yes. What? Wow.
- [04:53]
Sam Valentine
A limo came to get us. We went to dinner and then we went to like this hotel for drinks. And I just remember thinking like, oh, LA is everything. I thought.
- [05:04]
Lauren Sweetser
Wow. Oh my gosh. Since then, wow. Blast from the past. I don't even like, how did that. I don't even like. I don't know. I don't remember how that transpired, but wow. That's sick. That sounds. Yeah, awesome.
- [05:19]
Sam Valentine
So thanks for setting the bar super high. Only for me to realize that that's not what this life is.
- [05:25]
Lauren Sweetser
Oh, my God, I love that I'm your limo memory. That's amazing.
- [05:30]
Sam Valentine
I remember it was so fun. And I was like, oh, God, I can't wait to be cool like her and be like, in LA and doing the real actor thing. It's the best.
- [05:39]
Lauren Sweetser
And ride in limos all the time.
- [05:41]
Sam Valentine
Cut to. I would prefer to not be in a limo at any point in the rest of my life. You probably didn't even know this, but you were like, such a big standard to me of the actor who graduated from college and then went out to la. And you had already filmed Winter's Bones, so you, like, were in, like, the circuit of all the big things. And it. I just remember calling you from my college apartment when you got into Sundance, which is really funny. Cause we're gonna talk about you being at Sundance now. But it was like this huge thing and I was like, wow. And I went and saw you in theaters in college, and no one wanted to go see Winter's Bone with me because all my friends wanted to see blockbuster movies. Of course I'm gonna go by myself. And it was just so cool. And I was like, I just wanna be just like her. When I got out to LA and I got into LA and I was like, I don't know how you do anything. I'm so lost.
- [06:30]
Lauren Sweetser
I didn't. I. Yeah, I didn't either. So, yeah, we were. Well, you've.
- [06:34]
Sam Valentine
You faked it real well.
- [06:36]
Lauren Sweetser
Yeah. You know, as you go, you like, and you kind of start to figure it out and, you know, you've been so smart. You've monetized, like, teaching that and doing that, and that's just such a. Been such a brilliant thing. And you've helped so many people, so good for you for doing that.
- [06:50]
Sam Valentine
So do you want to tell people where you are now?
- [06:53]
Lauren Sweetser
Yeah, I am in. Back in my hometown, Fayetteville, Arkansas. I am actually fifth generation from here, so. So my roots go very deep. My husband loved it the first time we ever came here, but I was very much, like, not ready or willing to move out of LA yet. Yeah, I never really imagined moving back, to be honest. And then the pandemic is really what started to kind of shift things. For a long time, I'd been wanting to, like, get into some other interests that I had, but I never really allowed myself to. To do that or, like, allow that into my Ether, I guess, because I was just so, like, acting is everything, you know, and just so laser focused, which is great in a lot of ways. Right. But it's like life, you know, life is. There's a lot of other things that go on. The pandemic was a lot of things, but it allowed me to sort of go, okay, like, things are happening in the business, like, and then it was like strike after strike after strike. I'm going, okay. I think the universe is kind of going, you know, let's lean into these other things that you're interested in. And, you know, I wanted to start a family and all that good stuff. So that was a long way to answer where I am right now, but that's perfect.
- [08:11]
Sam Valentine
This is long form podcasting, so please talk as much as you want.
- [08:14]
Lauren Sweetser
Great. I think the first. I think when you hit me up the first time I had posted some meme that was like, don't give an actor a microphone or something that they'll talk too much. And then you were like, hey, but do you want to talk? And I was like, absolutely, absolutely. I would love to.
- [08:27]
Sam Valentine
Or give them one and just make your living off of it, because that's what I've decided to do.
- [08:33]
Lauren Sweetser
Absolutely, yeah, yeah, listen.
- [08:35]
Sam Valentine
The pandemic changed all of our lives in so many different ways. And some was horrific and some moments you were able to build a new life from. And the strikes happening right afterward, although they were not directly connected, it was just all inevitable that everything had to happen as it happened. Do you think if those things wouldn't have happened, would you still be pursuing this career as laser focused as you were? And in LA specifically, there's a part.
- [09:04]
Lauren Sweetser
Of me that says I think I would still be in la. However, I never wanted to raise a family in Los Angeles. I knew that just about myself. I always kind of just imagined that being somewhere else. I didn't know if that was here in Fayetteville. I didn't know if that was Nashville or, like, you know, wherever else, but I just kind of always had this feeling that that wasn't going to be in Los Angeles. And I met my husband January 8th of 2020. So it was sort of like we were like soul mates. But we also met right before everything went crazy. So we were kind of one of those, like, turbo romances. We just connected so deeply and intimately, like from the very beginning. And then I vividly remember watching the news and it was like, don't go outside and breathe the air. And we were like, what is going on? Like, it was just so crazy. And, you know, people back in Arkansas were like, what are you talking about? Like, this Covid thing isn't real. Like, this is. You know, it was just such a different world that we were living in in la. And so I think career wise, maybe I would have still been there because things wouldn't have changed so much in the pandemic. But, you know, we have an eight month old now, and I just, I don't think I could have seen us doing that there. All of my auditions were remote. I was taping all the time. And, you know, I never really went out too much commercially. We spent like about a year kind of just traveling and, and going to visit friends and we went to Austin, we went to Nashville, we went to Charleston, South Carolina. We just went to different places that we thought we would be interested in moving to and, like, had some friends and contacts there. Fayetteville just kind of kept coming up and he loved it here. And I was like, oh, a little bit like, oh, my God, like, I'm moving home. There was such a, like, identity.
- [11:03]
Sam Valentine
Is there some resistance to that? To be like, oh, am I going back to where I came from?
- [11:07]
Lauren Sweetser
Yes, absolutely. Absolute. And everything was telling me that that is not at all what is happening and nothing has to change. Like, you know, that was kind of what I, like, came to was like, nothing has to change. Like, I'm still going to be auditioning. I'm still going to be, you know, taking meetings and doing things. And the movie that I had at Sundance this year, I got that audition while I was in Cabo on my bachelorette trip. And it's like, you know, if you want an audition, go out of town, you know, always. And my best friend Sean, who has Sean, Colin Young. He's an incredible actor, director, writer, producer. He's just does it all. And he's my coach and he tapes me. And he was also one of my bridesmaids. So he was on the trip with us.
- [11:48]
Sam Valentine
He's there. Oh, my God, how key. Wow.
- [11:51]
Lauren Sweetser
So he was there and I was like, sean, I just got this audition. Sometimes you want to just turn it off. You want to not do that. But I read it and I was like, this is awesome. This is so like in my wheelhouse. I read it as kind of like a drunk bride who had just ran off and got married. He was like, lauren, go get your sash. All of your white shit that you have here, your white, like, put it all on. Like, drink a Corona and let's do this. Like, let's Just have fun and, like, tape it and who cares? And he always says, like, just shut up and go to the bank is what he always says. Like, just shut up and go to the bank. Like, okay, I love that. So we just taped it, and my. One of my girlfriends, her name's Madison, she was just, like, so interested in the whole thing, and she's like, you're gonna do what? Hold on. Can I just. Can I sit in the corner and watch? And I was like, yeah, sure, if you want. So I have this vivid memory of just, like, seeing her, like, huddled in the corner, like, watching us tape this. And then that movie shot in Traverse City, Michigan. So, like, Los Angeles had nothing to do with that movie, you know, so that was just another example of, like, it's okay, like, go. You can kind of release this, and you're not defined by the city that you live in. And the first movie I ever produced, we shot it in Arkansas. Like, we did Pre Pro in Arkansas. So there were just several things that were, like, leading you this way. Los Angeles isn't going anywhere. But, yeah, it was a little bit of an identity crisis because I didn't realize how much Los Angeles had become.
- [13:24]
Sam Valentine
Like, it becomes a part of your personality. Like, you're the girl who lives in la.
- [13:28]
Lauren Sweetser
Yeah. And just like, you know, our friends that are there are. Have become family. And, like, it is my home, you know, it became like, the home that I created. So it was just hard to imagine leaving it. And, you know, the life that we built there, and I met my husband there and done so many amazing things and set a lot of goals and reached them, and I still have goals that I haven't reached. Met yet that, you know, when I was leaving, that was part of it too. It was like, well, I didn't do this and I haven't done this, and, you know, but even though Hollywood would make me think it, I'm not 100 years old. Like, life can. You can do this for forever. It's fine. Like, there's no timeline here.
- [14:08]
Sam Valentine
What did you have in place in LA before you moved? Because I know a lot of actors are very interested in auditioning in Los Angeles, but living in other places. And I think the. The foundation of what you have is. Is important to note. So you'd been here for a while. You had agents, you had managers. Like, what was your LA like?
- [14:28]
Lauren Sweetser
Foundation, Agents, managers, or just one, you know, not many managers. And then Sean, he tapes me. As far as, like, the tapes went, Sean and I lived in the same Building, too. So we were very. Sean and I were very close, so he had a room where he would take people, and that's really where I did all of my tapes. And now, you know, I just do that here and my husband has to read a lot and. And tape me, which I know Caleb has to do that for you, too.
- [14:59]
Sam Valentine
Yes. Did you tell your reps you were moving? What was that conversation?
- [15:04]
Lauren Sweetser
Yeah, I just sort of presented it, too, of like, hey, things are kind of moving this way. Like, I think we're gonna make the move here. What do you think about that? Not to, like, getting permission per se, but just sort of, like, letting them know what that was going to be. And they were like, yeah, that's fine. You know, we'll just basically behave as if you're still here. They don't say, like, specifically from Arkansas. Right. It's just more, I come from the Los Angeles office. Ooh.
- [15:31]
Sam Valentine
I know. A question people are going to really want to know is, since you are coming from the Los Angeles office and they're not noting you as an outside of LA hire, when you do slates, do you say, I'm in Los Angeles sometimes?
- [15:46]
Lauren Sweetser
Yeah.
- [15:47]
Sam Valentine
Yeah.
- [15:48]
Lauren Sweetser
Because I can be if I need to be. It's not like that big of a deal because some are like, you've got to be in la. Like, it is like, you have to be there. And depending on the situation, like, if I want to go in for that, yeah, I'll just say Los Angeles. You know, I can be there and there's many places I can stay and stuff like that. Or I'll just, you know, say, you know, I'm in Arkansas or working on something. I'm always developing things here. So it's like, she's working on something and she's in Arkansas. So people are everywhere now. I have so many actor friends that are not in LA anymore and weren't for years before the pandemic. So that kind of gave me a little bit more courage to make that move, too. Because casting directors are like, well, let's see people out of Chicago, let's see people out of Austin, New York, whatever.
- [16:30]
Sam Valentine
You know, I think the big holdup for a lot of people when they hear this kind of information is like, oh, but I couldn't do it because I'm not from la. And there is something to be said for the time you spent in Los Angeles getting these reps, putting in these meetings. What would you say to an actor who's, like, in Arkansas and thinking, well, I want to get an LA agent.
- [16:50]
Lauren Sweetser
I would say, like, start regionally first. Like, you don't have to be in Los Angeles anymore. It's not like it was when you and I moved out. Like, it was pretty much like, you have to move to LA and, and do that. I mean, there's a lot of really great. I'm actually trying to get an agent, like out of the Atlanta market right now because I just see a lot of more stuff coming here. And I think it'd be good to be wrapped in both places. Start more in a more like regional market, build up that resume and the experience there and then that I think that is just going to naturally sort of roll into, you know, a bigger opportunity. And then if you go to an LA agent or a New York agent and you've got the experience and like, why would they not want to rep you? As far as I know, a lot of people have an issue with people being in different places because since the pandemic, people, a lot of people moved around. They just probably won't send you out for something that's LA specific. Unless you're like, not a problem, I can get on a plane. Send me out for that stuff, then, yeah, you know, they will.
- [17:55]
Sam Valentine
And realistically, knowing how much that actually costs to just stop by la. And I know, I know a lot of actors who say, like, I could just, I could just totally. I'll figure it out. And once you do the math and realize that Maybe you get $1200 as your day rate and you take out taxes and you take out an agency fee, and then you look at how much it costs to stay a night in a hotel, which very rarely do Airbnbs do that. So you have to, like, look at hotels which are like 250 to $450 a night, and then your airfare, so you're barely breaking even. And they're like, well, I'll do it because it'll boost my resume. And it's like, but will it?
- [18:32]
Lauren Sweetser
You're gonna be broke. Yeah. Which like, some people might go, this is my first co star of the things I've ever done. And for me it's worth, you know, spending xyz. I mean, do not go into debt ever over this stuff ever, because it's.
- [18:49]
Sam Valentine
Not going to pay you back.
- [18:51]
Lauren Sweetser
It's not. No, no, no. It's not going to necessarily snowball. Like, just because you got this co star doesn't mean, like your next going to get a guest star. And then you're going to get a, you know, recurring and then a regular, like it doesn't. There's no rhyme or reason to any of this, so definitely don't go into debt over it. But there's calculated risk too. You might go, okay, this is going to cost me. I'm going to actually spend a little bit to do this. But for me, I feel like it's going to be worth it to have this credit. If you have people that you could stay with or a support system in that way, I think that helps a lot. But I took a local hire on a movie in Manhattan one time and Lord have mercy, I spent so much money, like I had a friend to stay with too. And it was great. It was a lovely little film. I can like see how things led to other things of whatever. But at the time I was like, wow, this is a lot. I am stretching it thin here to, to do this. But again, it was one of those like, okay, this will help me do this, or this is this kind of role that I haven't done.
- [19:56]
Sam Valentine
And well, it's a different point. Right? Like you probably wouldn't do that right now, for example.
- [20:02]
Lauren Sweetser
No, no, no.
- [20:03]
Sam Valentine
With an 8 month old. Can you talk about having a kid in the business?
- [20:06]
Lauren Sweetser
Sure, yeah. I mean she's only eight months, so that's my experience. And I was very much like paused things. I went out for, I did a couple of things while I was pregnant and then like I went out for a few things before I got like real big there at the end. After she was born, I was very much just like, I need to pause everything. It's much more challenging to do your tapes. And right now I had to just figure out child care and it's harder to manage, but it's definitely doable. And tapes like you have to just like I try to tape while she's napping, which is like, you gotta be ready, you know what I mean? You better have your stuff memorized, you better have the lighting ready. You better like have your reader like trying to get it done as quickly as possible. Which is an interesting element too, you know, because it's just sort of like you don't have the luxury of the time that you once had to go, well, that take was, I don't know, is it. It's like get it done, you know, it's like being on set. Like you have three takes or whatever it is and we're using one of these. So yeah, that's, that's a little more challenging. And now when something comes in, you're going, does this make sense for me and our family and are we going to be able to all pack up and go? There's a lot more to consider.
- [21:30]
Sam Valentine
How has it changed the filter of stuff that comes in for you when. When an audition comes in?
- [21:37]
Lauren Sweetser
How.
- [21:37]
Sam Valentine
How does it filter differently now that you have a family?
- [21:41]
Lauren Sweetser
My filter had honestly changed a lot before I had started a family. I just. I'm at a point, like, in my life where I really have to love it and really feel called to do it, or there's got to be a big check. I'd rather, like, be called to something, and it'd be amazing and feel super driven and creatively fulfilled by something. And if I don't make much money, that's okay. Like. Or if it's like, I'm gonna make a lot of money in doing it and I don't care about necessarily the creative aspect of it. Like, I'll do that too, if that makes. If that makes sense.
- [22:19]
Sam Valentine
But it makes sense because of the filter, right? It's like, it's how you. What is the important aspect I'm getting from this? Is it like an important artistic pursuit or is it important to paycheck? They can. They can be worth equal.
- [22:32]
Lauren Sweetser
I think that it's possible for both of those things to exist. And I think when I was a younger actor, I would maybe have felt shameful of being like, it's a big paycheck, but I don't care about this role at all. And I'm like, whatever. Like, I don't care, you know, I'm going to make. To be able to do X, Y, Z, you know, with this money for whatever goals that we have, or I'm not going to make any money, but I freaking love the story and I feel called to do it. It's kind of both there, if that makes any sense.
- [23:02]
Sam Valentine
Yeah, it totally does. We have been catching up on for All Mankind. And we got to your episode a couple weeks ago, and I was like, oh, my God. And I didn't know. I didn't know you were gonna be in it. I was so pumped because I love this show. I was just so jazzed. Like, that, to me, was such a moment. I was like, look at that. And that was post pandemic, right?
- [23:24]
Lauren Sweetser
That. No, that was.
- [23:26]
Sam Valentine
It wasn't.
- [23:27]
Lauren Sweetser
We. It was right. It was like, okay. This was like, right when I had met my husband, too. I think this was the first thing that he ever help. Helped me read for. And he's reading this, like, and you're.
- [23:37]
Sam Valentine
Fully, like, hooking up Joel making out.
- [23:40]
Lauren Sweetser
With Joel Kinnaman here. And so that was a good test in our relationship.
- [23:47]
Sam Valentine
Trial by fire. Can you handle the realities of an acting career?
- [23:50]
Lauren Sweetser
Exactly. Here's what's. Here's what's going to be going down here. So we had shot it, I think, like, I want to say, like, maybe of 2020 some. Somewhere around there. So it was, like, literally, it was, like, in Covid. Oh, yeah. And then we had to stop. We had. There was, like. I think it was a Wednesday when everything had to stop. I don't know why. I remember it was a Wednesday. Everything had shut down, and then we had to pick it back up in, like, September, like, many months later. And then we were like. Like, that was when all of the actors were literally, like, in a pen, you know, and, like, people couldn't come into zone A was, you know, so you're, like, feeling like a zoo animal.
- [24:37]
Sam Valentine
And Matt, your lunch in your trailer and.
- [24:40]
Lauren Sweetser
Oh, yeah, yeah. And you were not talking to a ton of people. And Joel and I were making out. Right. Like, we.
- [24:46]
Sam Valentine
Yeah, it was a very intimate scene.
- [24:48]
Lauren Sweetser
So we had to COVID Test like crazy. I think that was the first time I'd worked with an intimacy coordinator, too. So interesting.
- [24:56]
Sam Valentine
What was that like?
- [24:58]
Lauren Sweetser
She was lovely. And it was. It was great. And he's. Joel is a wonderful, wonderful person and human being and just very, very kind actor in those scenes. It's just very, like, business. It's like, I'm going to turn here, my arm's going to be here. You're going to lift me up. Like, it's very. Just choreographed and kind of robotic in the way that it's planned. And then you just sort of have to make it a scene within the dynamics of that. But she was great, and she just sort of, like, you know, kind of ran through, like, here's the scene. Here's the points that I'm seeing that are a little more risque or whatever. And would ask me what I was comfortable with. And I had already said, like, in my contract what I would show and what I wouldn't and, you know, all those things. And so. And she would make sure that I was comfortable with whatever actions Joel was doing. And I had a good experience with that.
- [25:54]
Sam Valentine
I was so excited when I saw you. I can't believe that was in the pandemic.
- [25:58]
Lauren Sweetser
Yeah. Crazy. Weren't those clothes fabulous? The clothes were just so much fun. I just. That's just such a fun show. That was really. That was a really cool show.
- [26:07]
Sam Valentine
I love that show. So much. I'm so proud of it. I auditioned for a role in season four. I was so jazzed about anytime someone I know books it, I'm like, yes. Like, get in there. Because it also is a show that other than Joel Kinnaman, like, most of those actors, they're not. Nobody's like a list. And you don't see that very often anymore. It's really refreshing. And they're still doing more.
- [26:29]
Lauren Sweetser
Yeah, a lot of really cool actors and artists and people on that set.
- [26:34]
Sam Valentine
I told Caleb today, oh, I'm podcasting. And he said, oh, who's your podcast with? And I said, lauren Sweetser. And he goes, oh, your friend from college who lived in LA for a while, who was in this movie and this movie and we just saw in For All Mankind, was like, how do you. How does your. His brain. It's astounding. It is so astounding.
- [26:53]
Lauren Sweetser
Ian will see somebody like that. I know he'll do that. He's like, oh, that's. That's John. I'm like, shut up. Like, because you just, you know, you'll randomly see. I saw you in the cat commercial one time. I was like, oh, yeah, Sam.
- [27:06]
Sam Valentine
For Tidy Cats.
- [27:07]
Lauren Sweetser
Yeah. Yes, Tidy Cats. Yeah.
- [27:09]
Sam Valentine
Yeah. And, you know, my mom actually called me that.
- [27:11]
Lauren Sweetser
She was like, did you see Sam? Sam's in the teddy cat commercial. I was like, I did.
- [27:17]
Sam Valentine
Oh, your mom is so sweet. I specifically remember Missouri State brought you in to speak with us. Do you remember that? You came and talked to our class. We're the same age, but I was in a year younger than you because I was too afraid to major in acting right away. And after. After failures, I was too scared to try it. And eventually I wound up in the same program, but I was behind. And you came into the chat, they put on some luncheon afterwards, and you were like, come to the luncheon with us. And I went. And I remember you and your mom finished eating, and you both pulled out lipstick and put it on right after you finished eating. And I was like, these are some Southern ladies.
- [27:52]
Lauren Sweetser
Oh, my gosh. That's so funny. I told her I was doing this today. She was like, oh, my gosh. I love Sam. She was like, she's so pretty and cool. I was like, yeah, I know. So I'll tell you that.
- [28:01]
Sam Valentine
Well, please tell her I say hi. And I always think of you guys putting on lipstick together after you.
- [28:05]
Lauren Sweetser
I'm telling her that story.
- [28:06]
Sam Valentine
She will. So to take this, then full circle. In college, you did Winter's Bone, correct yes. So you were in Missouri and you booked this movie, which went on to be huge on so many levels, ended up taking you to Sundance. Now you're living in Arkansas. You booked a movie, also didn't shoot in la. You were also not living in la and you just got back from Sundance. Yeah, so.
- [28:42]
Lauren Sweetser
And to even make it even like crazier. So I played a mom in Winter's Bone. I played a mom in this movie at Sundance too. And then I became a mom last year.
- [28:55]
Sam Valentine
So this is amazing. And this is Sunfish is the name of this movie, correct? Is that the full name or is.
- [29:03]
Lauren Sweetser
Yeah, it's called Sunfish and Other Stories on Green Lake.
- [29:06]
Sam Valentine
I thought this was a such a lovely headline that the Hollywood Reporter said it's a charming slice of life drama that makes for a low key but refreshing mental vacation. And I cannot tell you how bad I need a mental vacation. So please tell me about this movie.
- [29:20]
Lauren Sweetser
I think you are going to love it. I hope it still does. This is a really cool film. It's one of my favorite things I've ever done. It's a four part anthology and I know people are all a lot of times like anthologies, but this is woven together so beautifully. It is by Sierra Falconer. Wrote, directed and produced it.
- [29:50]
Sam Valentine
She's also young.
- [29:51]
Lauren Sweetser
She is. She did this as her thesis film at ucla. It will blow you away when you see this film. It is just so beautiful. And she pulled together such an incredible team. It's just a really good movie. And you know, a lot of times Sundance movies are not exactly, you know, a feel good time. You know, Winter's Bone, not the brightest sunshine of. Of movies. Right? Not.
- [30:19]
Sam Valentine
Not an uplifter.
- [30:20]
Lauren Sweetser
Exactly, exactly. You're not like wanting to feel good. You're like, let's watch Winter's Bone. This is a really lovely, like, feel good film. It's got so much heart. A really incredible ensemble cast. I mean, the cinematographers, amazing, the editing, it's just. It's just a really, really good movie. And it follows four different storylines, but they all relate to Green Lake and they all take place around Green Lake. And it's just a really lovely, beautiful film. I'm excited for people to see it.
- [30:54]
Sam Valentine
Did you think when you were filming it that you were filming something that was going to go win awards?
- [31:00]
Lauren Sweetser
I knew there was something special, honestly. When I met with Sierra and I, when I saw the Lookbook, I was like, okay, this is different. Like, this is a. This is gonna be something different. And then when we were filming it I kind of just felt like it was special too, because of the team that had been assembled. But, you know, that can mean a lot of different things. That can mean success in the way of, like, it's a great film and people love it, or it can mean, like, gets into Sundance or, you know, it can mean a lot of different things. So that feeling isn't always necessarily, oh, it's going to win awards, or, oh, it's going to. But you just had a feeling that it was going to be different and be a really good film, if that makes sense. But when I found out that I got into Sundance, I wasn't surprised because, like I said, it was just an amazing team. And from the very beginning, she set it apart as just a really beautiful, well thought out film.
- [31:51]
Sam Valentine
Did this audition come from your agents? From your LA agents?
- [31:55]
Lauren Sweetser
Yes. And I didn't know this. It just came in as an audition to me. But when I sent in my tape and then had a director's meeting with her, she was like, I wrote this part for you. Like, when I was writing the script, I really wanted you to do this. But, you know, it was smart. It was kind of smart that she didn't say that, you know, in the beginning, it was just pitched as an audition. So had I not chosen to take the audition, I would not have known that the part was. Was written for me. How'd she know you from Winterspun?
- [32:31]
Sam Valentine
Wow. Wow.
- [32:33]
Lauren Sweetser
Yeah, they auditioned other people too, so I think that's why it came through as just an audition. But that was the first time that I had been, like, people see me in things and, like, someone thought of me and wrote this part and I was just, like, incredibly flattered. I just don't think of myself in that way. You know, I do a lot of indies and some TV and stuff, but I don't know. You don't ever think that, you know, people are actually watching it and. And your performance will make them, you know, want to create something and. And put you in that. So that was. That was really cool.
- [33:07]
Sam Valentine
How would it have changed your audition if you would have known that she wrote it for you?
- [33:11]
Lauren Sweetser
I think I would have just been way more in my head and I probably would have, like, revisited. Winter's Bone would probably just way overthought it and made it way more complicated than it needed to be. I think it was. I was supposed to get that in Cabo while we were just like, whatever, you know, because, like, he's like, let's just do it. This is in your Wheelhouse and let's just do it. Let's have. He's like, let's just have fun. Let's just tell a story and let's just have a good time. And that helps me to just play, you know, and play and have fun. Sean really helps change my perspective on auditioning too, because he's like, this is the opportunity to play and do what you love. Like, let's just do that and we'll just do it 10 different ways and we'll do it in ways that don't even make sense for the script or the scene just to break out of, you know, the mold of what we think it is or, you know, and sometimes those things will go, that was awesome. And we got something way different than we would have thought. But it stands out. I'm like, let's send that one in.
- [34:08]
Sam Valentine
Also the idea that someone is thinking of you is something I feel like has been beat out of us as actors who are not at the top of anybody's list, that we just don't think that we're seen.
- [34:21]
Lauren Sweetser
Yeah. And I don't know, like, why we feel that way because, like, when we were casting for the riot act, there were several people that were, you know, that I had remembered from different things that had like a great look or they had this wonderful scene and I like, we went out to them because I had remembered them. It didn't come through as an offer or it just came through as an audition. Right. So I think you just have to put it out there and because if they're not interested, they're not interested and you don't want to make them interested because you are in them. It was just aligned and kind of meant to be that way.
- [34:56]
Sam Valentine
The time between coming to la, starting here, getting agents, all of that stuff, having come here. And you also went to like the Oscars, for example, with Winter's Bone, and you were thrown into the mix of a whole different world very quickly. Were there times where you felt like you lost whatever that big thing was and you tried to recreate it, or you were like, that's. That's how I know I would be that way whenever I've had one or two bookings, quote unquote, in a row. So, aka in a nine month period, I think, oh, I found the magic sauce and this is it. And now I have to just like figure this out and then I try and recreate it two years later when it hasn't happened since. So that was another scale that you were at. Will you talk about that.
- [35:40]
Lauren Sweetser
Yeah. I mean, I was just so green, you know, at the time. I remember, like, when we got into Sundance, I didn't know that I should have hired a publicist that second. Right.
- [35:52]
Sam Valentine
How would you.
- [35:52]
Lauren Sweetser
How would you know? I just was in a world that I was still learning so much about, but also just. You kind of just think, like, oh, like, this is easy, or, you know, this is going to continue. And I booked. I also booked the first TV audition I ever went to, too.
- [36:07]
Sam Valentine
So that was like, I hate you.
- [36:09]
Lauren Sweetser
Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, it. Karma came back because then you go. You go through dry spells and you're like, wait, this isn't as easy. Yeah. I got so close on so many. Like, I had other girl syndrome for a really long time. Like, I met with Aaron Sorkin for the newsroom. Like, I was, like, sitting across from him. Like, I met with Ben Affleck for Argo.
- [36:32]
Sam Valentine
I remember that. I remember you talking to me about the Argo audit, like, the Argo meetings.
- [36:37]
Lauren Sweetser
I'll never forget when I got that call. I was about to take off on a plane to Chicago and that. I didn't get it. And I cried the whole way to Chicago. Like, you know, it's a blessing and a curse to be thrown into that world of just, like, this thing is so successful, and it is just, like, really taking off, and it's putting you in all these rooms. But then when those other things aren't coming through, you're sort of like, it makes the imposter syndrome, like, 10 times, right? Because, like, maybe I'm not supposed to be doing this. Like, maybe I'm not supposed to be here.
- [37:10]
Sam Valentine
And.
- [37:10]
Lauren Sweetser
And, you know, then you're comparing yourself to others and, you know, so it was, you know, one of the best things that happened to me and for my career. But also, you know, it was hard because it didn't just necessarily snowball after that. And, you know, so, yeah, it was great and also hard at times.
- [37:38]
Sam Valentine
How did you reconcile with those feelings? Because clearly you have a whole life now, and things are going in such a. Like, you have a whole beautiful life and a beautiful family, and, like, things are in a great place, at least from an outsider's perspective. How did you reset yourself and how long do you feel like it took to get. I remember you. I came to visit you. I think you were living in South Pasadena, and we went for a walk, and you told me about the Argo audition, and it was still sitting with you at the time. That was. This was years and years and years ago. And I remember thinking, I don't know if I'm currently have the stomach to handle these feelings, you know, I mean.
- [38:20]
Lauren Sweetser
You just go, this is my path. And my path is different. And I'm supposed to be. I'm very much like, what is for you will never miss you type of person. But I have to remind myself of that at times, right? There are times when you just go, this sucks and I'm gonna let this suck for a little bit. And I'm just very much like, if this is meant to be, it will be. And nothing will keep it from being. And if it's not meant to be, nothing will make it be, you know? So I just kind of had to come into being comfortable with my own path and that my path is just going to look different than anybody else's. And I don't know, I didn't have an example of anybody at the time either that like had done this movie and it blew up and then, you know, I didn't have any. Like, I still, I don't know anybody that had that path.
- [39:15]
Sam Valentine
And so it can feel like this is me speaking from my own experience. It can feel like like I had it all and I lost it or I made a mistake for sure. And that can't be it or like it.
- [39:29]
Lauren Sweetser
The opportunity was there and it's passed and it's not going to come again or it's not gonna, you know, those opportunities aren't gonna come again because I just, I did this one movie and it was so big and then I'm not gonna have another one that does that. But you just can't really have that mindset. I also just had to change my thought of like, once you get out of your 20s, it's over, you know, like life's over and you're not gonna do any more acting and like you're old and you know, like, it's so simple, isn't it? It's so dumb, right? Like, even now, like, I'm young, right? Like I'm relatively young. I can do this. Like, you know, look at the Helen Mirren's of the world. Like she's been doing this for forever. Like Meryl Streep. Like, God, they've been doing it for a long time. And a lot of people, there's so many people that don't even get going until their 50s or 6. Like, you have to get out of the like anxiety of I did it to myself of putting myself in the. The time thing. Maybe the best right role is when I'm supposed to be in my mid-40s or, you know, I'm in my mid-30s now, and I feel great, and I feel, like, more confident than I ever have, and I care a whole lot less than I ever did in my 20s, which has served me really well. And like I said, I have so many other things that I like doing and that I enjoy doing. And so once I finally, like, got myself out of the blinders of, like, this has to be everything and I have to do this, I met more people and I, you know, met even people, like, in entertainment that weren't, you know. It's just things align when you're just happy and doing things that make you happy, at least for me.
- [41:24]
Sam Valentine
Well, and the energy you bring to a room when you're coming from a good place just exists differently. Like, people want to talk to you. I feel it so much all of the time.
- [41:39]
Lauren Sweetser
And when you audition for something and you are just like, yeah, I'm enough. Like the. The Sunfish audition, like, yeah, let's just have fun. Let's throw it on there and have a good time. And then let, like, let's forget about it and go jump in the pool and then go to dinner. And, like, it just. You bring a different energy, and it comes across in, you know, in your tapes and meetings and anything.
- [42:01]
Sam Valentine
I see you from the sidelines as someone who has also built up this confidence because you started to make your own work and you started to work on your own projects.
- [42:12]
Lauren Sweetser
That was what I was going to say, too. Was I coming into the ownership of that? My path was different, helped by just, you know, creating my own stuff, too.
- [42:23]
Sam Valentine
How do you get started in that? Because that is so intimidating to me, I can't even begin to explain it to you.
- [42:30]
Lauren Sweetser
I would kind of say, like, how did you get started in doing one broke actress? You know, you kind of just threw yourself in, right? So my partner on Riot act, his name's Devin Parks, Incredible director and writer and just very talented person. I auditioned in LA for a short that we shot in Arkansas. It was called A Step into Miss Laura's. We shot that, and while we were on set for that, he was like, hey, I've got this movie that I wrote. I'm going to direct it and I want you to star in it. Like, would you read it and let me know kind of what you think? And I was like, yeah, for sure. So I read it. I really liked it. That was cool. And then I just sort of said, like, what's your plan here? Like, who's your team? You know, kind of. Do you need help making this? Like, how could I kind of help? He said the ways in which he needed help, and I sort of just jumped into it, you know, and then we produced that together and built a team. And I would say just surround yourself with really great people, the best people that you can find for the jobs. And a lot of learning lessons. Just like you, I'm sure, too, with building this business and. And this podcast. And the podcast has come such a long way, you know, but there had to have been times when you, like, lost a recording or, like, you know, just.
- [43:38]
Sam Valentine
Yeah.
- [43:39]
Lauren Sweetser
So many lessons there.
- [43:40]
Sam Valentine
Yeah. Oh, God. So many times.
- [43:43]
Lauren Sweetser
So just jumping in and knowing that, like, a lot of the times nobody knows what they're doing. That's another thing I'm learning in life is, like, no one knows what they're doing, and they're just doing it. And you think that they know what they're doing because they're wearing this coat of audacity that's just like, yep, I know what I'm doing, and that's it. And they have this confidence, but a lot of the times it's. So put on that coat of audacity and just act like you know what you're doing and that you're supposed to be there and people will believe that coat of audacity.
- [44:15]
Sam Valentine
I'm taking that. I love that it's like that just pure confidence. That is what it feels like. It feels like everyone's just making it up as they go. Do you have stuff you're working on right now?
- [44:25]
Lauren Sweetser
Yes, I have my, like, passion project that I've been working on for a very long time. It's about the Baby Scoop era.
- [44:33]
Sam Valentine
I'm sorry, the what?
- [44:34]
Lauren Sweetser
The Baby Scoop era. It's basically post World War II, pregnant, unwed mothers were essentially coerced into giving up their kids to for adoption. Yeah, how that all kind of went down. So if you just Google Baby Scoop era, you can learn all about it. It's a super interesting time period. And it started as a documentary in 2019, and then 2020 hit. We, like, had flown all over the country, like, interviewing these mothers. You know, they're now in their 70s, 80s, and they're older. And we had been interviewing them, and then it kind of had to shut down because of the pandemic. And so we shifted to the, like, feature film, the written narrative. And we've been working on that for a while now. And I've always been very trusting of the timing of that project. And I think I was supposed to become a mother myself to actually really understand some of the ins and outs of what that can be. So still working on that. And then I'm working on a comedy too.
- [45:30]
Sam Valentine
I would love to see you. And we did our first comedy together. Do you remember King Carl's Counting Kingdoms?
- [45:39]
Lauren Sweetser
I do. Wait, it was King Carl's Counting Cat. Was it kingdom or castle? It was.
- [45:45]
Sam Valentine
Maybe it was Castle. This was a 48 hour film festival we did in college.
- [45:49]
Lauren Sweetser
Yes. Oh my gosh. We gotta find that.
- [45:52]
Sam Valentine
Do you think for sure he has. Still has it? And it's. I don't know if it's fit for consumption.
- [45:58]
Lauren Sweetser
It's not. It's absolutely not. It does not hold up. No, no, it doesn't. It's not. It would not. It would get us canceled so quickly. It is funny. It is very funny. Yeah. So I really want to do comedy and I always have and no one sees me in comedy because, you know, my reel is like winter's bone. Like, it's always so very dark.
- [46:22]
Sam Valentine
Oh, but you're so dry. I want to see you be real dry. Is that what this comedy is?
- [46:27]
Lauren Sweetser
It's basically a mix of a ton of my crazy family, Southern, Southern family stories and like, who I'm writing it with to like, they're like, we're just mixing crazy family stories in the South. That's kind of what we're playing with. So it's so much fun to think about who I want in these, in these roles. And like, there's going to be a ton of actors and just a ton of like, friends and fun. Yeah, it's really, it's going to be really fun.
- [46:56]
Sam Valentine
Has that changed how you view auditions and stuff? In being on the back end and putting, putting together projects yourself?
- [47:03]
Lauren Sweetser
Yes, yes. Because I mean, you just. There's no time. There's no time. So when you see people's tapes, it's like, you gotta give me something in the first 10 seconds or 15 seconds. And I'm, you know, if I'm not seeing it, we just don't have time. Like, you need to, you need.
- [47:21]
Sam Valentine
There's a deadline article that came out recently that got a lot of heat because it was like, casting directors will watch four to five seconds of your tape. And I understand why people were upset by it because they want to be seen. But I also, speaking of time, there's only so much you can do.
- [47:41]
Lauren Sweetser
There's no time. And a lot of the times and people don't want to hear this either. But if you pop up on camera and you don't have the look. Sometimes if you don't have the look but, like, you catch me immediately, I'm a little more interested and maybe we'll adjust things, like if you're too taller, like, there's so many aspects that are just, like, not at all had to do with your talent or your reading whatsoever, you know, or somebody else already got the part or they offered it out and they just have to audition all of these people. Don't be hard on yourself about auditions. But also, you know, at the same time, like, do good work and try to do that.
- [48:19]
Sam Valentine
It's hard. It's so hard. Right, because we've. We were trained. You and I were absolutely trained in the school of. The bookings are the thing that tells you that you're doing the right thing. And it's 20, 25, and that's not the same thing as it was when we came out here at all.
- [48:34]
Lauren Sweetser
No, no, not at all. It really is. It's very different now.
- [48:39]
Sam Valentine
Last question. If you could tell yourself something from our original conversation of the girl who took me around Los Angeles going out to dinner from her beach apartment in a limo, what would you tell her?
- [48:56]
Lauren Sweetser
This is kind of a silly one. People are gonna be, like, grown. But I would say, like, be yourself and. And saying that. I mean, like, truly be who you are. Don't try to be something else to fit into this role or to fit into what this person might like. There were just so many times, and I think acting did this sometimes was like, you just are trying to be something different than you actually are. And it's not. If it's not aligning and it doesn't feel like that's you, it's not going to work anyway. Like I said, if it's. If it's meant to be, it's going to be. Nothing's going to keep it from that. And just if you're not feeling that, like, I've always had this, like, kind of guiding, like, knowing within my body, like, I know when something's right for me, and I know when something's not. I can look back on times when, like, this friendship was not, like, I knew this was not a good person and I knew, you know, this person's not good for me. But, like, they're so fun or they're, you know, like, I like being with them, or they're like, listen to that part of yourself. And, like, that's part of, like, being yourself, listening to yourself and knowing that that's not right for you. Or, like, I think about the Ben Affleck meeting still sometimes, and I just. I wasn't being myself. I was not grounded in. In who I was. I was just very much just trying to fit into what I thought that I needed to be. So, you know, one day, I'll get that do over there. But that's how it was supposed to be. I. That was what was supposed to happen at that time. And so, yeah, as silly as be yourself sounds, do that, Be who you are, and listen to your inner guidance of what to do and what not to do. And that was kind of a silly answer.
- [50:42]
Sam Valentine
I'll take it for a little Lauren back in 2011. She can have that one.
- [50:47]
Lauren Sweetser
Yeah, exactly. Oh, my gosh. Sweet little thing. I look back at my headshots.
- [50:51]
Sam Valentine
I'm like, oh, my God.
- [50:53]
Lauren Sweetser
Oh, my God. Can I grab my first.
- [50:56]
Sam Valentine
Do you have it?
- [50:56]
Lauren Sweetser
It's on our refrigerator.
- [50:58]
Sam Valentine
It's bring to me.
- [50:59]
Lauren Sweetser
Do I. She's so little. You're gonna die. Who is.
- [51:05]
Sam Valentine
Wait, the polka dots was a choice.
- [51:09]
Lauren Sweetser
Stop. Who is she? Let's tilt our head. Let's blow our hair out until it could not be any straighter. Like, also, like, I wear my curls now, and I just love it, and that's who I am. Like, who is this girl? This is not. You're. You're not being yourself. Far too much mascara. Just, like, really?
- [51:31]
Sam Valentine
And to be clear, you had to go in and pick that font.
- [51:35]
Lauren Sweetser
I was like, this is it, Hollywood. Watch out. I'm about like, I chose this. And I was like, this is it.
- [51:43]
Sam Valentine
I have mine that I took for our senior showcase.
- [51:49]
Lauren Sweetser
Oh, my gosh. Sweet, sweet baby. Look at that sweet baby child.
- [51:58]
Sam Valentine
That's it.
- [51:59]
Lauren Sweetser
That's amazing.
- [52:01]
Sam Valentine
I was like a cami under a gray T shirt. Leaves so much to be wanted. I was like, they've never seen something like this.
- [52:11]
Lauren Sweetser
I think we're not. I'm not even breathing in this photo. Like, I can tell you're not. You're not breathing in yours either. Like, you're just like, hold it, hold it. And what is dropping in the polka dots? Like, like, what?
- [52:24]
Sam Valentine
Oh, this was the other one.
- [52:25]
Lauren Sweetser
This was the other one.
- [52:26]
Sam Valentine
The brick wall, the arms.
- [52:28]
Lauren Sweetser
We love it.
- [52:29]
Sam Valentine
If you are not watching this on YouTube, you guys, you should be, because this is the brick wall. And this is the absolute best trench coat that Forever 21 had on sale.
- [52:39]
Lauren Sweetser
There's another one. I wish I had it on hand. My mom has it framed in her house. I'm like, oh, My God, kill me. And I'm like, this. I, like, have my hand like this and I'm like, Like, I have like. I'm like, what? This is so embarrassing. I can't believe I'm going to admit this. I got bookmarks.
- [52:57]
Sam Valentine
Bookmarks. Bookmarks is different. I would like one.
- [53:02]
Lauren Sweetser
Oh, my friend Lee, I. I gave it to him for his birthday last year and I signed it and I was like, chase, trace all of your dreams or something. And it's like, me like this. And I'm like, if you don't use this as your bookmark. Oh, my God.
- [53:17]
Sam Valentine
For like three years, I spent so much money buying vistaprint postcards with this picture on them that said, happy Valentine's Day From Sam Valentine, SamValentine.net to go to my website. So much money wasted. But that's what we were told. We were like, hey, you. If you just give people your photo and they're going to be like, oh, wow, you know what? We need somebody today. Let's hire her.
- [53:42]
Lauren Sweetser
They're like, be different. And I'm like, you know what? I'm going to. I'm going to do bookmarks. That's what I'm going to do as.
- [53:47]
Sam Valentine
A blonde white girl. Here's how I'm different. Bookmark so bad.
- [53:52]
Lauren Sweetser
And, like, nobody has to print them anymore.
- [53:54]
Sam Valentine
Like, I know, but now everything's online. And now actors and I talk about the prices of things like casting networks, and they're like, it's so expensive. And I'm like, I know. But also, have you ever bought matte photos 8 by 10 and had your resume printed on the back of them? Because that was a thing we did.
- [54:13]
Lauren Sweetser
There was this one casting director that, like, ripped me a new asshole because, like, I brought in a headshot with, like, a nice staple. I'm like, what do you want me to do? Glue it on the back of there?
- [54:22]
Sam Valentine
Like, there was a few casting directors who were like, well, if you staple it. Staple it in every corner. Not just two corners, not just. And I was like, you are throwing this away the second you don't pin me. I know you are, but I wanted to do it. I would do anything.
- [54:35]
Lauren Sweetser
Yeah. Like, I'm not getting this job. I know that. I know that.
- [54:39]
Sam Valentine
I would do anything to be different. I tried so hard. So back to your advice. It's really good.
- [54:45]
Lauren Sweetser
Be yourself. Get the bookmarks, you know, because. Just be different.
- [54:52]
Sam Valentine
Oh, that's a perfect place to call it. I love this so much. Where can people find Sunfish? Where can they find you? Do you want to direct them to? Riot Act? Where do you want to send people?
- [55:04]
Lauren Sweetser
You can follow me on Instagram. That's how Sweetser it is, just spelled out like that. Obviously you can check my IMDb for different stuff. The Riot act is on Apple TV plus and Amazon Prime. I think it's Sunfish. The film is the Instagram. I'll send it to you and you can post that.
- [55:24]
Sam Valentine
Thanks for spending time with me today and I really appreciate it. It's so good to talk to you.
- [55:28]
Lauren Sweetser
Thank you for having me. And yeah, this is awesome. Always.