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Lynn Chin
Foreign.
Sam Valentine
What's up guys? Welcome back to another episode of the One Broke Actress podcast. An honest account of actor life, plus a few lessons I learned in the process. I am your host, Sam Valentine and this is a specialty. It hits different episode and if you already know what that is, go ahead and skip forward 60 seconds and skip this intro. If not, this is the throwback episode, meaning it was previously recorded. So not all the content that is in it might be relevant to this exact moment. But let me tell you something I have noticed about all of these interviews and these conversations. Depending on the time of where you are at in your life and your career, man, it hits different. Also, please keep in mind I've grown and changed as a person and as a host. So I might not agree currently with all of the things I said in this episode. Please be forgiving of my growth as a person and be understanding of its still really vulnerable to put yourself out there, especially a former version of yourself. Our guests themselves also might have changed a lot in the process, so let's be equally loving to them. And my audio setup has gotten a hell of a lot better since I started this. So please take the content, please enjoy it to the best of your abilities and forgive anything that doesn't resonate in your ears as well as it could. So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy this. It hits different episode and welcome to the One Broke Actress Podcast. The One Broke Actress Podcast. The One Broke Actress Podcast. This is the podcast giving you an honest account of actor life. I mean, can we just be honest for a second plus a few lessons I learned in the process? This is what I'm saying. Nobody knows anything. I'm your host, Sam Valentine. Okay, guys, I'm going to be honest with you. I have recorded about 17 intros so far and every time I click record I feel some weird pressure to say goodbye for the season or do something really grandiose and goodbye and sad and blah blah, blah. But we're just not going to do it because it's really not working. It's not fitting the vibe. So here's what's going on. This is the last episode of season four. Thank you so much for tuning in. It is one of my favorite episodes of the season and you're soon going to find out why. Before I tell you why, I have to say thank you so much for tuning in. All season long, we have hit more listeners than we ever have before and you right at home sharing it with your friends and fellow actors has been incredible. I've gotten some amazing emails and texts and messages and things like that. And I just have to say thank you because you're all helping to make this community feel a little more insular to people like me. So that's my little spiel to start you out. And I'll give you all the extra stuff at the end of the podcast. So listen through all the way to the end, because why not? It's last episode. But like I said, I saved one of the best for last. Because this episode, this interview with Lynn Chin hit home for me in so many ways. I found Lynn's podcast God forever ago, and it was called the Actor's Diet, based on her original blog from back in the day. And I was so honored to get to meet her eventually and then to have her in my home and record my podcast was really special to me. So she really opens up about the truth in the industry, in standards, in beauty, in weight, in size, and so much more. And it was such a cool conversation to have with someone like her who has done so much and is now even making her own work. She is also an advocate for eating disorder awareness and she does a lot of work talking about it. And I think it's something especially for, for a lot of the women listening and for men too, there is so much pressure about ourselves and our bodies. And we really talk quite a bit about that today. And not just that, we also talk about how she started her blog back in her early days, how she got her first jobs, the standards of the industry, how it's more normal to be not working than it is to work, and her journey of getting her career in motion after a time of stillness. These are all things that I needed to hear and I think a lot of you will need to hear them too. So please enjoy and stick to around to the end of the episode for some wrap up announcements. But ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, please enjoy Lynn Chin. The thing I'm starting to ask people this podcast season to kind of start with a different question is when do you remember first being interested in acting?
Lynn Chin
Since I remember remembering I started acting before I could even process what was happening. So my mom was, she was a ladies chorus member at the Metropolitan Opera House. She got the job when I was born. She calls me her lucky charm because she was going to be a solo singer. And then I was born and they were so broke and she auditioned for the Metropolitan Opera House Ladies Chorus. Got it and worked there for 30 years.
Sam Valentine
Wow.
Lynn Chin
So she, that was like her job. And I was in the children's chorus with her. Even before children were allowed to be in the chorus, she was already. Because my brother was in it. And I think I might have been, like, one of the youngest members. How old were you? I was four or five. Oh, my God. I made my debut on the stage when they had the ballet come in. So the Bolshoi Ballet came in, and Rudolf Nureyev was in town, and they were like, we need a young child who's here during the summer whose parents will bring them in, and they will just stand on the stage and watch him sing Sweat. And that's my first memory is, like, him, like, leaping in the air and his sweat hitting the Marley and just being like. And hot lights on me and holding some ballerina's hand and just being like, these tights are itchy.
Sam Valentine
What a way to kick it off.
Lynn Chin
Yeah. So I had done that up until. And then I was singing and I was performing in it, and I did that up until I was 11 or 12.
Sam Valentine
And in New York, is that where you always.
Lynn Chin
Okay, so we lived in New Jersey. I grew up in New Jersey. And we just went back and forth. And, you know, I loved Annie like any other little kid who loved musicals during that time and was always singing and performing, and I just loved it. And my parents trotted me out like the little star. I was like, lynn's gonna sing tomorrow now. And I just did it. And then at a certain point, I was really tired. It was around the time I was doing South Pacific at the New York City Opera.
Sam Valentine
And so you were big league as a kid.
Lynn Chin
I was doing some big stuff. Yeah. I, like, started off professional right away. I wasn't, like. I wasn't doing the small stuff like in my school, actually, because there was a part of me that was a little embarrassed by it. Like, I didn't want to audition for the school solos or the play, because I didn't. I knew everyone already knew I was leaving to go rehearse and do matinees, and I didn't want to be like, and now I'm going to come back and take over the school. So I just stayed quiet about that. But I was a bit of a loner in school, so I, like, at a certain point when I was missing so much school for my matinees and rehearsals, I just said to my parents around fifth grade, I was like, I just want to go to. I want to go to birthday parties. Because they already were like, you can't go to birthday parties. You can't go to kickball after school, you have to do this because you're catching up on homework. And I didn't have a social life, so I told them I wanted to do that, and they let me. And then I was watching, like, the school play my junior, my sophomore year, and I thought to myself, hey, I want to do this, too. So I auditioned for the school play the next year. And you know how you have to pay your dues in high school? Like, from junior high, you start off as, like, the mushroom, right?
Sam Valentine
You're like, basically set decoration.
Lynn Chin
Yeah, exactly. But I went in there and I got the lead. And I think, how many friends did.
Sam Valentine
You make by doing that?
Lynn Chin
But I will tell you that seeing my name on that sheet that time, because I really did not expect to when I saw my name on that sheet, I'm still chasing that feeling.
Sam Valentine
I know exactly what you mean.
Lynn Chin
It's never gotten any better.
Sam Valentine
That's the high, you guys. If you're in high school, this is.
Lynn Chin
As good as it gets.
Sam Valentine
Because it was like you had to wait to read it on the sheet, post it on the board.
Lynn Chin
Everyone was there to see it. I could not.
Sam Valentine
It's like that scene in Legally Blonde where she finds out in front of her ex boyfriend that she got the internship.
Lynn Chin
But it was really. It was like. It was also the combination of I didn't really care, but I care, but. And then I wasn't really trying, but I was trying. It was like the perfect combination of everything we want today that we can't get. We're trying to figure that out, that magic formula. So, yeah, I did the school play for the next two years. My teacher in school basically pulled me aside and gave me the whole, like, you got it, kid talk.
Sam Valentine
And it wasn't like a performing arts school. It's just a regular, regular middle school.
Lynn Chin
It was a regular public school. And then I went to college, and right away I was like, I'm gonna be a theater music double major. I thought I was gonna go do musical theater. And week one, I took my first. Like, did you go to school? I went to Wesleyan in Connecticut, and I took my first Intro to Theater class. And the second. The second it became academic, and they were telling us about dramaturgs and about how we were going to have to pay our dues and take basic production techniques. I was like, boring. I hate this. I want to do drugs. I can talk about that.
Sam Valentine
Absolutely.
Lynn Chin
I want to do fucking drugs.
Sam Valentine
I feel like that's what people do in college is they get crazy shit out of Their system.
Lynn Chin
Yeah, exactly. It was like my version of I want to play kickball after school. Instead, I was like. I was doing the college version. I want to get drunk and high, very easy, and I do not want to, like, I don't want acting to be hard. And so for. I dropped the major, and my dad said, you cannot just be a music major. I refuse to let that happen.
Sam Valentine
Was it gonna be musical theater?
Lynn Chin
It was gonna be music and double major. I don't know why he thought, like, having two useless majors was better than just having one. But in his head, I think he, like, was like, my bragging rights aren't very good if it's just music. So I ended up being a music and women's studies double major.
Sam Valentine
Okay.
Lynn Chin
That was also very impractical. Did nothing with either of them.
Sam Valentine
You also minor in communication. What else are you doing?
Lynn Chin
Yeah. So then when I graduated from college, immediately I worked. I'm like, giving you so much more information.
Sam Valentine
No, this is what. This is the jam. This is how we always start. This is the best.
Lynn Chin
After college, when I first graduated, I was like, I'm gonna be an actor again. This is my time. And I was like, what do actors do? I moved to New York City. I'm like, they waitress. So I went and I got a waitressing job. That summer was the summer of Sex and the City. All the ladies were ordering their pink cosmos in their martini glasses.
Sam Valentine
It's so funny because I just had someone on the podcast yesterday who was a bartender in Chicago, and his name was John Crowley, and he talked about that same time in Chicago, and he's like, I was so over making those goddamn cosmos.
Lynn Chin
I was so over carrying them to.
Sam Valentine
The table that is the most unimportant glass.
Lynn Chin
Hard to carry multiple glasses of martini glasses through a very crowded bar to a table of ladies. And so I hated it and was like, I guess I can't be an actor because I can't really cut this waitressing thing. So I ended up that summer, I was like, even though I'm making a lot of money at night in cash, I cannot do this anymore. And so I ended up taking the only job that I could think of, which was in a school. And once you. Once I was working in the school, I was working as the assistant to a principal. And so it was a very administrative 9 to 5 job. And it had great benefits. It was really steady, and it was safe. It was really safe. And I did that for two years. And at the end of that second year, I was like, my Soul is dead. What am I gonna do? I'm not gonna become principal. They're not gonna just let me become principal. You don't become principal after being the assistant to one. It's not like that. And it just felt. I had saved up enough money, and I ended up going to an intensive acting workshop that summer. And right after that, I booked my first job on Law and Order, got my SAG card, and that's been it.
Sam Valentine
Oh, my God. You are consistently the new kid in high school who books the lead. That's so annoying.
Lynn Chin
Did you book your.
Sam Valentine
Was that your first audition?
Lynn Chin
I went through several. I've. You're not gonna feel. You're gonna feel sorry for me.
Sam Valentine
Don't skim on that stuff for me. That's what I like.
Lynn Chin
Because I think it's funny. Like, when I was thinking about doing this podcast, I was like, I really hope someone listening to this isn't. And that's how you do it. Because I remember hearing those stories or reading those stories at the time, because there really weren't that many podcasts. Actually, there were zero. There were none, unfortunately. And. And just like, reading someone's story about how they. It really seemed like they were an overnight success and just kept going because my story is actually coming out hot and falling so deep.
Sam Valentine
It's so funny you say that, because I remember so specifically. I don't think I've ever said this on the podcast before that I. When I was a kid, my dad would save any article in the newspaper that had to do with acting or, like, an actress, no matter who it was, and he would always give it to me. And there was one from. I think it was Melissa Joan Hart when she did Clarissa Explains It All. Or was that. Wait.
Lynn Chin
Yeah.
Sam Valentine
And she was talking about how she got in. That show was so big. And I was like, oh, my gosh, so cool. And how she got that audition, how she got Sabrina the Teenage Witch and, like, all this stuff. And I was. I read the article probably 700 times. I probably destroyed the paper reading it, trying to understand. I was like, so she wanted to be an actress, so she went to auditions. Like, how do you get auditions? I don't understand how you be an actor. Like, how do I get an audition? I live in Missouri. Like, how do. I didn't understand. And no one tells you. And there was nothing. At that time. There was no resources to be like, how do I do this? Nor was there anyone to tell me, hey, how she does this is not gonna be how you do it. And so that's why I love this platform. So what? Bring it home to me.
Lynn Chin
Things were going pretty well for a while, and I was a very determined student. Even though I didn't want to major in it. I was really good at the business side of things pretty early on just because, like, I was. I was really hungry for it. I was really, like, I wanted to do XYZ to get there. So I sent out all the postcards. I dropped off my headshot everywhere. I did my log.
Sam Valentine
I was for our timeline. This was right after you booked Law.
Lynn Chin
And Order, Right after I left Lawn Order.
Sam Valentine
This is where you're jumping off point.
Lynn Chin
And it felt really much like a lot like my career just kept growing and growing the way I thought one career should. Yeah. I would level up to another agent and manager. That was bigger up until the point where my big moment was the year 2004 ish. And I was simultaneously on All My Children for a year as a recurring role. And I was testing a whole bunch. Like, I kept getting flown out from New York to test in la.
Sam Valentine
That feels pretty cool.
Lynn Chin
Felt amazing. And then I ended up.
Sam Valentine
How long have you been. How long since you had quit the principal job? Like, how long was this? You were, like, gunning and gunning for about four years. Okay.
Lynn Chin
And so really short timeline. Yeah. Really, like, when I look back, I'm like, who's that girl?
Sam Valentine
I would love four years of that girl.
Lynn Chin
Who is that? Who's that successful little lady? Yeah, it felt great. And I booked my biggest role to date still, which was one of the leads in Sony Pictures Classics movie called Saving Face. It wasn't Sony Pictures Classic at the time, but it was produced by Will Smith production company, Overbrook. And they really put me through the wringer doing that audition. I had to lose weight for it because I was playing a ballet dancer. And to this point, I had never had. Okay, I had eating issues, but I didn't know they were eating issues. I was a binge eater.
Sam Valentine
Okay.
Lynn Chin
But I didn't know that was an eating disorder. I don't think anyone called it.
Sam Valentine
I so excited to talk about this. This has not been something I've had the chance to talk about on the podcast before. And it's something I've struggled with my entire life.
Lynn Chin
Okay.
Sam Valentine
And I'm very open about it. And I'm so down to just have a conversation because you don't know. No one ever talks about certain. They're like, oh, anorexic, bulimic. There's two types. And you're either one or the other. And it's very obvious. You're so thin and wavy, and it's so much more complicated than that.
Lynn Chin
Oh, my God. Food. A relationship with food. We are going to talk about that.
Sam Valentine
I'm so excited. So up until this point, you'd had.
Lynn Chin
I had emotional eating issues. I didn't know that's what that was. As I said, I was a woman's studies major in college, and we studied eating disorders, and never once did we talk about binge eating as a disorder. We talked about binge eating and purging, which is bulimia, as an eating disorder. But for me, actually, my reaction of binge eating came out a lot of my defiance of, you're not going to give me an eating disorder. So if you're going to tell me I gained the freshman 15, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to be a fool feminist, and I'm gonna just keep eating. Ha. Take that. I'll show you. Oh, my God, my stomach hurts. I really feel sick. But I'm not gonna throw it up because that would make me bulimic, and I'm not gonna be bulimic because I'm a feminist. Because I'm a feminist, all of this shit is going on in my head. And basically I was at the point where, like, I knew that I wasn't as skinny as everyone else, and I took that as a point of pride. You know what? Fuck your rules. Fuck you, Hollywood. I'm gonna be the size I am. I'm not gonna be, like a skinny skin, skinny string bean. Like, all. Especially as an Asian woman, you're expected to look a certain way. There were just so many of us during that time, and most of them did kung fu. I was not like everyone already. And so when this part came up and they were like, you got to. You got. You have to lose weight. You're playing a ballet dancer. Sorry. And Willow.
Sam Valentine
Hey, knock it off.
Lynn Chin
Yeah, I know Willow. It's. It was a horrible thing for them to do.
Sam Valentine
She's in this conversation because we cut her food recently on a diet, and she's very hungry.
Lynn Chin
So they basically, before I got the part, they were like, listen, you are the front runner. We need you to lose weight, and we don't. And they were awesome. They were like, we don't want you to do it unhealthfully, so we're going to give you time. This has been months. And at first it was done healthfully.
Sam Valentine
Were you comfortable with this? Did you feel like it mattered for the role, what kind of context and who got. Who told you that?
Lynn Chin
Both the director and the casting director.
Sam Valentine
Okay. And by then you've met them several times and you had a rapport.
Lynn Chin
As the story goes, the day I went in for my audition, which was for the director and the casting director, they knew I was the part, but I was like 10, 15 pounds too heavy to play. A convincing ballerina is a very specific body type. They kept auditioning other women. They kept being like, you're the one, you're the one. Just get there. And literally up till the week and a half before I was cast, they really put me through it. I had to. I already had the part. I screen tested and done a chemistry read with the woman who was already cast, Michelle Kruzik. And they, like, had me do like a whole full on, like, Vogue type shoot, like, where they styled me and had me, like, pose and had this Vogue photographer come and take photos of me. Actually, I would love to see those photos now that I'm thinking about it, just to show the producers and the investors, like, she can do this.
Sam Valentine
She's ready.
Lynn Chin
Because I was. I had never done a movie before. This is my first feature film.
Sam Valentine
So really cool. They put that much time and effort. I don't feel like that happens anymore. Did you, during that time period before they told you that, did you feel. Did you read the role and think, oh, I'm not right for this, or, oh, I need to be. Be thinner? Did that cross your brain at all?
Lynn Chin
I had already known this because I had been working on a soap opera for the past year.
Sam Valentine
Okay.
Lynn Chin
So that was already like my first. Oh. When I saw myself on camera, I would be like. I'd do a little, like, double take and be like, oh, I don't like what I see. But the feminist in me was like, it's okay, it's okay. It doesn't matter. Nobody's telling you to lose weight. And so when I heard those words for the first time, it was like the. Oh, God, it's happening, it's happening. But at the same time, I was like, but I get it. But I get it. It's for a role. Like, I don't remember if Christian Bale was doing it or Tom Hanks, but I got it. I understood that's what actors did for their roles, and I took it seriously. And during that time, it wasn't unhealthy. I had my best friend, Christy Myers. Still one of my best friends is a holistic health counselor and also an Actor. And she put me on a diet of whole foods. And I stopped binge eating out of stress. And I exercised for the first time ever.
Sam Valentine
Oh, wow.
Lynn Chin
I'd never exercised before that. The weight came off pretty steadily, easily, healthfully. But it wasn't until after we finished filming a year later. Actually, not even a year later. Like, the months that followed. My trajectory was like, doors were opening, people. There was a lot of buzz about the movie. It was going to Sundance, was going to Toronto. It got bought by Sony Pictures Classics. I got an amazing manager. It seemed like everything was happening. And that's when I moved out to la. Because the advice I kept getting was, you keep flying out to test the networks, they won't have to pay for you to fly out. You'll just book your first pilot. Still waiting for that, by the way. And still waiting.
Sam Valentine
Did you film that movie in New York?
Lynn Chin
Yes. So I filmed that movie in New York and we ended up moving out to LA after it came out. And like, the. I will say, the pressure that came, not. It wasn't really from my managers or from studio people or anything like that, but it came more in the form of message boards and fans who would just be like, oh, you look different. It was too difficult to keep things up the way they were before.
Sam Valentine
Yeah. Did you. When you got done with the film, did you feel like that was, like, your film lifestyle and now you're conveniently moving into your own type of lifestyle? Especially with the move. That's very hard.
Lynn Chin
It was a lot. Plus, I didn't. Still didn't know how to not balance my emotions without turning to food. So food was my everything. Food was my comfort. Food was my punishment. Food was like, everything. And it was really, like, a very confusing, tumultuous time for me. I ate when I was stressed, I ate when I was happy. I ate whenever I wanted to. And I. It was all under the guise of. I just love food. But. But really I just didn't know how to manage or feel my emotions. And with the ups and downs of the success of the movie and then subsequently, like, not booking, like, what's wrong with you that you're not booking? And I was still working, but it just wasn't clicking.
Sam Valentine
Yeah.
Lynn Chin
And I wasn't clicking. And I was emotional during that time because it's a lot. It's a lot to. I remember the saddest I've ever been was when I went to Sundance and there was all this possibility and we were going to all these swag rooms and everyone was Taking my picture. And they were saying, like, all these nice things. And my husband was with me and my sister in law was with me. So I had my little entourage and my manager was with me, with me. And it felt really like possibilities are endless. And I remember they left. They left a day early, all of them. And I was in my giant suite in Park City by myself with all my shit, all my clothes, all they gave you. And I had never felt more lonely in my life. And I remember thinking, I get it. I get why Ben Affleck drinks. I get it now. Because I didn't want that high to go away. And I knew that when I went home with all my stuff, stuff that, like, nobody would care.
Sam Valentine
Yeah.
Lynn Chin
And everyone kept asking, what's next? What's next?
Sam Valentine
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like that's the thing about the actor job is it's always, you hit these peaks and then it's. And where do you go from here? And it's. I go home and I have to audition again.
Lynn Chin
I have to literally take these clothes and figure out where to put them.
Sam Valentine
So many new grocery bags.
Lynn Chin
So, yeah, the years that followed. Sorry, I'm gonna let you ask questions.
Sam Valentine
No, I love this. I love this because this is something you don't get to hear about because I have a lot of actors on who have had some really good successes. And sometimes this is the stuff that gets forgotten about because they get to. We're living in this exciting moment, so we don't really remember what the low moments feel like. But this is, I think, the part that no one talks about, that we should talk about a whole of a lot more because I know so many actors who have some sort of substance abuse problem. And alcohol is very common and very socially acceptable. Drugs are a whole nother one, and food is a huge one, and especially for women. And there was a time I spent. I've had issues with food my whole life. But I. The first time that I got removed from a set and I wrote a whole article about it, and they told my agent that I was too thick and they had to replace me. And I was like. It was like everything that I had always thought in my brain came out of someone else's mouth. And I was like, oh, no, this is where the mountain crumbles. And that point I. It was just a really scary place to be. And so to have that on top of. You changed your life for this movie, and then you did it, and then your life changed. And so did you feel like you had to maintain this Sort of highbrow lifestyle. What was your day to day life like at that point?
Lynn Chin
My day to day life was very normal. It was more like keeping up appearances. And actually during that time, I started a podcast before, like, anyone else was doing podcasts. It was a precursor to my blog.
Sam Valentine
And it still is on itunes.
Lynn Chin
I don't think it is.
Sam Valentine
It's called Actors. Oh. Oh, I don't know that one.
Lynn Chin
Yeah, it was about what working actors do when they're not working. I interviewed a lot of awesome people that year, actually, because nobody knew what a podcast was.
Sam Valentine
Yeah, they were probably so confused. Does it exist anywhere now?
Lynn Chin
I don't think so, because we couldn't keep the site up and then it just took it off. Yeah, exactly. But it was me and my friend Christy, the holistic health counselor, just interviewing actors about what they do because I wanted to feel like, oh, this is normal. Actually, not working is more normal than working.
Sam Valentine
Yes. Oh, my God, I want to listen.
Lynn Chin
To this podcast so fast. Maybe I can dig it up. I have the monster. Let me know.
Sam Valentine
Listen to it. Oh, my God. On the CD player.
Lynn Chin
But what I found out that year of interviewing people was the people who were huge successes, who had been in the business for. For decades, who, like, were continually working. I would always ask the same question, which was, what's the longest you've ever been without a paying job? And the people who had been in the business forever would say, not long, like a year and a half. And the people who were new to the business, and by new, I'm saying, like two or three years were like, it has been six months. I'm dying. And that just relaxed me so much. It just made me realize, oh, I'm in this for the long haul and this is okay. But I couldn't. It's funny, sitting here today, I still feel like I have a lot of friends who've, quote, unquote, made it, who are huge stars. And I've watched, I've come up with them. I've watched them go. We've gone through it. And I'm very happy for them because I've seen them struggle. But from my eyes, it still looks like, oh, I can see their trajectory. I see still see what I saw of myself back in the day of, like, this climbing of the mountain. Of course they get rejected. Of course, like, they have had a lot of disappointment. Of course, really shitty things have happened to them. But you keep seeing them, like, move up the ladder. And sometimes when I look at my own career, I'm like, I guess that's true, but it sure doesn't feel like it when you're in it. You, like, really don't feel like it. Especially when you don't have another project that's coming up.
Sam Valentine
Yeah.
Lynn Chin
You can really just feel. That's it. Back to nothing again.
Sam Valentine
It often feels like your next job is your last job.
Lynn Chin
Yeah.
Sam Valentine
Which is a scary feeling. And people don't talk about that very much. So what was your next job? Then you came home from this success. Did you feel like it was the next bigger thing or did you feel like you've had to find a new homeostasis of your career?
Lynn Chin
I actually worked quite a bit, but my managers were not happy with me.
Sam Valentine
Because your IMDb is pretty stacked.
Lynn Chin
I was really upset because I actually did get that conversation from one of my managers in the middle of one of my years. It was after I did Numbers and the. I'll never find out about this. Maybe one day I'll meet a producer. But it was a rumor that I was supposed to be a love interest for David Krumholtz and I. It was like maybe recurring role. It was actually. Was it. I think it was my first audition in LA and I booked it. Yeah, it was. I'm pretty sure it was.
Sam Valentine
Good thing. I already like you so much.
Lynn Chin
And I remember I got it and then I was so stressed and I didn't know how to deal with my emotions that I ate so much that week. I binged so much that week that I couldn't fit into my dress anymore between the fitting and the shooting. And I remember when I saw the actual tape of it, that I was like, oh, I don't look so bad. I think I look fine, actually. And that night I got a call from my manager and he said, I am so sorry. I hate having this conversation, but we think you don't look the part of an ingenue, the part of a. Someone who should look that way. You need to lose weight again, Lynne. And when I heard the words, suddenly I was like, I don't know what to think. I don't. Have I been deluding myself? And also there was a part of me that was like, did I shoot myself in the foot? Like by.
Sam Valentine
By being so thin in the ballerina movie?
Lynn Chin
No, by eating so much during that. During that time, like between the fitting and the shooting. It was my anxiety. That's why I was doing it. But looking back at it now, I can see what it was, which was. I didn't think I deserved it with the second I Found out. I heard, oh, possible recurring role, possible love interest. Possible Bigger, bigger deal. More. More to deal with. I was like, no, I'm gonna make sure this actually doesn't happen subconsciously.
Sam Valentine
There's a imposter syndrome is huge.
Lynn Chin
Yeah.
Sam Valentine
I feel like everyone goes through it and no one can put the words to.
Lynn Chin
Was a lot. It was a lot of that. I ended up. That was when my eating disorder started getting really bad. Because it was a number of that. Those two. I think it was like a year and a half that followed. I was still working. I probably booked like a job every couple months and which is great. And I was also like testing for things still. I thought I was doing great. And I get a call one day also. That whole year, my eating disorder was like, in the form of I would binge really badly and then I would starve myself for a week to balance out the binge. And I knew I was in over my head, but I could not stop. And I was going to eating disorder specialist.
Sam Valentine
I was going to ask what kind of help you look to.
Lynn Chin
I like my husband. I told him his parents. I told my family. I told his parents are therapists.
Sam Valentine
And you guys were married when you moved out here?
Lynn Chin
Yes, at that point we were already married. So, like, we were really working on this. And it was like. It just felt like four steps forward and 12 steps back. It just felt like I just kept falling off the wagon. I just couldn't get a hold of it. And one day I get a phone call and it's my managers. And they said, hey. And I'd gotten a letter from my then agent and it said, we are not going to represent you anymore after this year. And when my managers called, I thought they were going to call to talk to me about that. Instead they said, and we're also letting you go too. And when they said that, because I had also been doing everything that I thought I should be doing, every time they told me to take a class with someone, I did. Every time they told me to get headshots with someone, I did. I was always on time. I always was memorized. I always, like, I did everything I thought I should be doing. And I was like, yes, I was like, horribly in my eating disorder, but I was still maintaining the weight that they, quote, unquote, thought was acceptable. So I was just like, when they told me that I crumbled to the floor and was on the floor and I felt like I can't do. Do this anymore. It reminded me of when I was watching the Olympics that summer, and I saw the second long distance runners cross the finish line and they like, collapsed on the floor and like, they'll run again, they'll be fine. But right now they cannot do anything. They can't even stand up. They can't even walk over and sit. That's how I felt. And so there was a part of me that's, I know I still want to act, but right now I just can't fucking do it.
Sam Valentine
Did they can't do it give you some reasoning? Was it because you didn't book enough? Did they have some sort of standard or was it because they.
Lynn Chin
I didn't even ask because I crumbled to the floor. And I already knew it in my heart. And all I managed to mutter in my state was, okay. And then I hung up. And my husband said to me, we're going to wine country. And at that point, I hadn't drank wine in years because I had given up drugs, I had given up alcohol for the calorie, didn't want to do drugs because I didn't want to binge eat from the munchies. And that week I. That weekend that we just drove, I promised myself, I will never go back to this. I'm going to work on this. I am not going to let my career define who I am. And I truly believed that if I'm not an actor, I won't have these issues. So I took. I purposely was like, I'm not going to look for a manager again. I'm not going to look for an agent. I don't know what I'm going to fucking do, but I'm just going to work on this body thing because I thought I was going to have a baby at that point.
Sam Valentine
Okay.
Lynn Chin
I thought I was ready to have a baby. And I was like, I can't have a baby and be like this anymore. I have to get my body in the best shape possible.
Sam Valentine
In your mind.
Lynn Chin
And my mind, yeah. So I took that year and that's when I started the actors diet.
Sam Valentine
Okay.
Lynn Chin
I started it when in 2009, when people weren't really blogging. So it was like. And no one was taking photos of their picture pictures of their food. So everyone was like, what the hell has happened to Lynn?
Sam Valentine
It probably felt so self indulgent because it still feels that way now. Yes, but it seems more socially acceptable.
Lynn Chin
But at the time, I knew I had to hold myself accountable because I could never. If I posted every single thing that I ate, which was what the blog was, I couldn't eat too little, and I couldn't eat too much. If I was to quote, unquote, overindulge, I would have to look at it the next day and post about it. And that year, I learned so much. And one of the biggest things I learned was everyone has issues with food. Everyone, chefs, people who are home cooks, everyone who works with food. Everyone has to eat. It's not just actors. Everyone has fucking issues. If you want to look at it.
Sam Valentine
That way, it's the more the whole food blogging and the popular Instagram influences who are like, the food girls and stuff, like, shut the kale up and all these very popular. They've started to come out. I don't know if you've read any of these articles, but they've started to release these articles. That's like, I have so many issues with food, and I have had to conquer a lot of demons and stuff. And oftentimes the. If you're constantly thinking about it, like cooks and chefs and people, Instagram bloggers who choose to think about it, it's a whole. It's a whole bag of worms that you just think you put a socially acceptable title on a lot of times. I love that you said that. Okay, I'm so into this conversation.
Lynn Chin
I just closed my blog the beginning of this year, and I had been doing it for 10 years, so 2009 until 2019. And.
Sam Valentine
But it morphs into something different, though.
Lynn Chin
So when I started, it was this online journal, and it taught me how to be creative on my own terms. Like, exactly what you're doing right now with this podcast. You need a project to find an outlet, find an audience, find a way to connect, find a way to tell stories. And suddenly it was in my control, and I could take that energy literally, that I was putting into counting calories, about 4 food and put that into, oh, how do I photograph this?
Sam Valentine
Yes.
Lynn Chin
How do I make this? Like, I could. What I learned from my eating disorder specialist was, you will never get rid of this obsession. Like, this addiction is not going to just be cut cold turkey. You have to replace it. And that's what I replaced it with. I took the unhealthy obsession, I made it into a healthy one, and it completely changed my relationship to food to the point where suddenly, because I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, everyone was sending me stuff. Chefs put stuff on my. In front of me. Like, when you have literally five desserts in front of you, you don't eat all five. Like, all of them. You have a bite of Bite. You don't eat. You don't finish all them. Whereas, like, back in the day, I was like, it's the last supper tomorrow I'm not gonna be doing this because I have to fit into this size of a. Whatever. And it just changed everything. Suddenly, food wasn't the enemy. Food was just there. Food. Food wasn't my friend. It wasn't the. It wasn't any of those things. It wasn't my source of comfort. It wasn't my salvation. It wasn't, like, my reason for living.
Sam Valentine
Yes.
Lynn Chin
It was just there, and it became my job. And I seriously, during that time, thought, okay, because, as I said, my career was, like, up and down because the food world was opening up so much for me in such a big way. My husband at the time worked for BuzzFeed, and we started doing these videos together that went viral, and I started getting the attention of people who were like, you should host a food show, and you're really good at this. And I was like, maybe I will transition into this. And it seemed to be happening very easily. Me. So I was like, okay, acting. Bye. Bye. I'm going to shift over to this. And I put my all into it. And I realized that world is just as hard, like, pitching and doing all those things. Like, I realized suddenly, oh, wait a second. People who do this really love food. They're chefs. The way to make money is you have a cookbook and you have your cooking show and then you have your line of knives, and, like, that's how. That's the trajectory. And for me, it was like, no, I just like eating. I don't want to actually do any of that. I don't want to write a cookbook. I don't even want to write a book about this.
Sam Valentine
Yes.
Lynn Chin
So suddenly I was, like, really confused. But I will say, that whole journey really taught me about myself, who I am, how to tell a story. It taught me how to, like, edit videos, how to produce them. And all that comes to where we are today, which is that I just wrote, directed, produced, and starred in my first feature film, I will make you mine. And I never would have done that had I not done 10 years of a food blog. It doesn't make sense, but it makes sense.
Sam Valentine
You also spend all that time working on yourself, too.
Lynn Chin
Yeah.
Sam Valentine
Which is, at the end of the.
Lynn Chin
Day, it was because I knew I could do it.
Sam Valentine
Yeah.
Lynn Chin
Like you doing this podcast, knowing. Oh, so, okay, what do I do? I buy mics. I set it up. Oh, it's put it out like, you Just do it.
Sam Valentine
You just go through it like it exists when I put it out there.
Lynn Chin
Yeah.
Sam Valentine
I don't have to wait for someone else's permission or, like, for someone to pick me to do it. This is my web series, as people like to do. Like, this is my. You get it.
Lynn Chin
That's exactly what making a movie is. You just do it. You just. You do it with the help of a shit ton of people, but you just do it. You just take one foot in front of the other. And with this particular project, I knew I could do it because I was like, I had a podcast, I had a blog. Nobody, like, was helping me do that on both ends. No one was helping me. I did it. I can do this. I can do this.
Sam Valentine
So you finished. So the blog and the food and stuff, did you hop back into acting? Did you refined reps at some point?
Lynn Chin
Yeah. So going back that year that I took off when I was doing the blog, I seriously thought it was career suicide because I was like, oh, no. If I admit I have a problem, they're gonna, like, not let me near the craft service table. Like, they're just gonna be like, these producers. Any producer that knows, like, I have eating issues is gonna be like, she's too risky. She's gonna blow up, like, literally and not be able to fit into any of our costumes. Little did I know that actually sharing my truth suddenly connected me to people and made it so that when I was like, schmoozing, all directors and producers want to talk about is food. Because everyone has issues with food, as I said before, and suddenly it took it off of me trying to impress someone and then me just sharing with someone. So when I was sitting next to a big producer at a dinner, we would have a talk about food because we'd be like, why are you photographing your food? And I'd be like, this is what I do. Yeah, exactly. And then we'd have question a conversation about it instead of, I'm an actor, put me in your next movie, which nobody wants to hear and nobody wants to talk about.
Sam Valentine
You became a three dimensional person. You had other things you had, like, you were able to conversate and have a common ground with people. And there's nothing that does that quite like being honest. People told me not to call this one broke actress. They were like, oh, you're gonna look like you're. And I'm like, you're all Instagramming the same picture from the last movie you did a year ago. You're also trying to figure this shit out.
Lynn Chin
Exactly.
Sam Valentine
Let's be honest about it.
Lynn Chin
Exactly.
Sam Valentine
So you did get back in it. Did you feel revitalized in a different way because you had your shit together?
Lynn Chin
I. It's what ended up happening over the course of me being having the food blog is I naturally lost all the weight I actually weigh. I've been at the current weight that I am, which is less than I weighed when I did the ballet role.
Sam Valentine
Oh, wow.
Lynn Chin
For the last 12 years.
Sam Valentine
Did you ever read the book Intuitive Eating?
Lynn Chin
No, but I know all about it.
Sam Valentine
Okay.
Lynn Chin
Yeah.
Sam Valentine
That's what. I just read it, and it changed my world. And I. It sounds great.
Lynn Chin
It's sort of how I live my life.
Sam Valentine
It's the same.
Lynn Chin
Yeah. As simple as eat what you want, Stop when you're full.
Sam Valentine
Stop when you're full. The end. Stop worrying about what everyone else's diet Instagram life is too.
Lynn Chin
I mean, I also learned so much from. From the blog about when your audience plateaus and when likes stop happening and how not to depend on other people for feedback or to make you feel good about yourself or to compare yourself to others or versions of yourself. Like, I cannot compare myself to the version of myself that I was when I was, like, starting the blog. Cause people who read blogs were different than people. No one reads blogs now. So once you start to just focus on where you are right now, it's like very much meditation, just being present. Of appreciating exactly who we are at this moment right now, because it's all we have control over. And that has helped me not only with my career, but with my relationship with food. I did go back to acting. I did have, like, moments where I was just like, so, screw this, I'm done. And actually, a couple years ago, I've had a lot of moments of I'm done. But a lot of. You know how you always hear, like, the second you quit, it'll pull you back in? I wasn't really done. I would be like, I'm done. And then I'd look over my shoulder and be like, you hear that, universe? I'm done. And then nothing would happen. I'd be like, all right, I'm back. But I truly meant it at this moment a few years ago, so I wasn't able to have kids. Remember, I said I was trying to have kids? And the lesson of not being able to have children and coming to terms with that. And at the same time, around the same time, my father passed away very unexpectedly. And all of these things happening at once really just Taught me, oh, your dreams for yourself and the way you think life will be. Because cosmically, it just feels that way. Like you feel it in your gut. It doesn't mean shit. And that's a harsh thing to say, but that was, like, a reality that I was being fed, no pun intended, at the time. And instead of being cynical about it, I was more like, all right. Then I let go. I release. I'm not going to try to plan anymore. I'm not going to, like, goal set. I'm not going to do my vision boards. I'm not going to do the Secret. I'm not going to do any of the shit. I'm just. I just release. And my plan was to stop acting as soon as I had a movie that I was attached to, an indie film. And I was like, I'll finish that indie film, then I'll be done, and I'll do it in January after I move, because I was going to switch apartments with my. With my neighbor. And I was like, that's stressful. I'll wait until then. What ended up happening was a movie that I had done the year before, a short that I really did not expect to see the light of day, like most projects that I do just for fun. Yeah, we just literally were doing it for fun. It ended up winning the NBC Shorts Fest.
Sam Valentine
Shut up.
Lynn Chin
And I ended up getting a holding deal with NBC, which was like, I did not expect to win so much because at that point, I had received so many signs from the universe that I should not be acting, that I was with my mom in New Jersey, just, like, hanging out, and I get a phone call, and they're like, you won. And I was like, shut up. And they're like, you won. And I was like, oh, I guess. I guess I gotta take this. Because it was like, money, and I didn't have another job.
Sam Valentine
Did you write it?
Lynn Chin
It was like, no, I was just. I was in it. So I also knew in winning it, because I knew several other people who had won it, that the holding deal also didn't mean shit. I don't mean to be cynical again. I knew that very few people actually got a job out of it. Yeah. So I was like, okay, how can I use this year to my advantage? They're gonna pay me to hold me for the year. What can I do? They're gonna give me free acting classes. I have taken an acting class in 10 years. Because the problem was, it wasn't that I thought I was better. It was that I felt I was too Old at that point. Really like me going into a class with. At that, at this point, I'm in my late 30s.
Sam Valentine
Yeah.
Lynn Chin
I've already gone through infertility issues. Like I don't want to be in the same room as like the 20 year old kid who just came out of conservatory who's like ready to go.
Sam Valentine
Yeah.
Lynn Chin
And it just, I didn't feel to me in my heart that I could be vulnerable in that space. But at the same time, if they were paying for it.
Sam Valentine
So what are the logistics of a holding deal? So if anyone doesn't know what that means.
Lynn Chin
So for a holding deal, they negotiate a fee where they hold you basically not to audition for other networks. And I was like, haha, joke's on you.
Sam Valentine
I'm not a name.
Lynn Chin
And so I would like to everyone listening to know this. When you hear about pilot season, it's so crazy. I've gone through years where yes, I was that person changing in the car. And I went to the place where I was like, what's pilot season? And it was like that for years for me. And while I watched my other friends, like I said, become movie stars, like TV stars and complain that they tested for seven pilots and couldn't get book one. And I was like, I literally can't even get a pre read. So I just want everyone listening to know that those years exist and that is fucking normal. Because I just had a crazy fucking pilot season this past year.
Sam Valentine
You did? Yeah.
Lynn Chin
And I had one last year too. And I just want people to know you can come back from the dead. And that said, next year I might, it might be dead again because like things are dead for me now. I know things are like busy for other people also still. And I don't fucking care. You know why? Because that's the way it is. And I don't want to hear, I don't want to hear that. Like, it's just. Bro, it's not. If I can like impart anything, any theme on this podcast, it's the fucking roller coaster.
Sam Valentine
Yes.
Lynn Chin
And just be prepared for it. Just be prepared. It's fine. You'll live. Because I survived the infertility, I survived my dad's death, I survived all these things. And even though it felt like shit, I still survived it. I still like, it was okay. Yeah, it was okay because it just was. And I'll always get through it. So now that things are good, I'm gonna fucking appreciate it. It's fucking awesome.
Sam Valentine
But you had. It's one of those things that unfortunately to see the light of day, you have to see the dark of night. So you have to. The juxtaposition is the only thing that really makes you appreciate, which is the unfortunate part about humanness in general. I was just thinking about it today because it finally stopped raining and it's, like, nice outside. And I was like, oh, I forget. The sun is really awesome.
Lynn Chin
Exactly.
Sam Valentine
But we have it every day, so I didn't notice it.
Lynn Chin
You have to go through it, unfortunately.
Sam Valentine
Yeah.
Lynn Chin
To appreciate it. I just got back from south by Southwest, where I had amazing. And it was awesome. And I had been there in 2011 before a whole bunch of this stuff. And I remember back then, like, feeling like, still that sense of this is it. I've had so many moments of my life of this is it.
Sam Valentine
Yeah.
Lynn Chin
And they're not to take away from, like, the excitement of those moments, because very few times has this is it turned into it. But when I look back at those moments, I'm, oh, that wasn't it. And you know what? Totally fine. Totally fine. So I just don't get. It's not that I don't get upset. I feel the pain. I let myself, like, sit in my sweats and be sad with it. But then, like, I remember that I got over the other stuff that felt impossible to get over, and I'll be fine.
Sam Valentine
That's amazing.
Lynn Chin
Yeah.
Sam Valentine
How did you get. Wait. Okay. Did the holding deal end up happening?
Lynn Chin
Yeah, so I had the holding.
Sam Valentine
Okay.
Lynn Chin
And the best thing, the two best things that happened out of that holding deal was not a pilot, but. So I ended up taking years worth of money.
Sam Valentine
I'll take it too. But what else?
Lynn Chin
I know. I love that I made my health insurance that year was. I was really happy. But I ended. So I ended up going back into class reluctantly, but I did it. And what I learned was I fucking needed it.
Sam Valentine
Where'd you end up going?
Lynn Chin
So I went to John Rosenfeld.
Sam Valentine
Oh, that's where I go.
Lynn Chin
Oh, really?
Sam Valentine
Yeah.
Lynn Chin
I love John. And I met some great people and.
Sam Valentine
Very mixed age classes.
Lynn Chin
Yes. I ended up in his Thursday night class eventually, which was more people that were my age.
Sam Valentine
Yes.
Lynn Chin
And I also loved his. The audition class that they do, like on Thursdays where you can just bring in whatever material and just do it. So I took classes with John, and that sort of opened the floodgates to me for just taking every class. So I took a class with him. I ended up taking Groundlings. I went to. I now study with Risa Ramon Garcia at BGB Studios. Oh, Cool. I just went hog wild on classes because I was like, suddenly I was like, what was I so afraid of? I don't like these. Yeah, this kid coming out of conservatory.
Sam Valentine
Is young, he's still there.
Lynn Chin
They're freaking awesome talent. And I like wanna actually like next to them. I don't have to like have lunch with them. I don't need to like talk on the phone with them or text them.
Sam Valentine
They might not be friends, but I'll watch you do your scene. Exactly.
Lynn Chin
Can learn a lot from these people still. And I just love being around actors. I just love. I just fucking love doing it. And so it was like a really fun thing. So that was number one for me, was like this. Reconnecting to acting class.
Sam Valentine
How long ago was that?
Lynn Chin
That was. God, when was that? That was like three years ago.
Sam Valentine
Okay.
Lynn Chin
Or two years ago.
Sam Valentine
So not that long ago.
Lynn Chin
Yeah, not that long ago.
Sam Valentine
That's awesome.
Lynn Chin
And then the other thing that happened was I wrote for the first time because I was like, hey, if they kept telling. When you have these meetings, they like blow smoke up your ass and tell you a lot of things. And one of the things they kept telling me was like, and another thing we can do is we can set you up so that you with the writers and then you can develop a show. And I was like, uh huh. I know that's bullshit. But that said, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna write my own pilot and I'm gonna hold you to that. I'm gonna take you up on that. All right. And so I'd never written anything before, but I was like, except your blog.
Sam Valentine
But you mean like a screen? Like a screenplay or a pilot?
Lynn Chin
But I had certainly read many of them and I was like, I'm gonna try this out. So I wrote a pilot about my infertility.
Sam Valentine
Oh, wow.
Lynn Chin
And I sent it to my managers and they were like, this is pretty good, Lynn.
Sam Valentine
How did you figure out how to do it? Did you like download like Final Cut.
Lynn Chin
Or whatever it is or actually downloaded a template on Pages which is for Mac, that was like a free template and it just allowed you to. It's very similar to Final Draft. Final Draft, but it's. But I downloaded that and I wrote it on that. I actually still have to transfer that copy over to Final Draft because now I have Final Draft and it's such a pain in the ass. Just get Final Draft people.
Sam Valentine
But it is costly. So if you just want to write. To write. Yes, you can write in pages. That's Good to know. Because sometimes it's a little off putting to be like, how. How the fuck do I format a script?
Lynn Chin
Exactly. It's so much fun.
Sam Valentine
And have you ever got sides that are in like, a Word document and you're like, I don't trust any of this? Yes, exactly. This is someone's basement.
Lynn Chin
Yes, exactly. So I wrote the pilot and I ended up. It ended up going to the head of NBC Comedy, and we ended up having a meeting about it. And it just gave me the confidence to be like, oh, maybe I could write a little bit. And of course, everyone was like. When I was having my general meetings after that was like, so you want to be staff? Do you want to be a writer? And I was still like, oh, no, I'm an actor and I don't want to be a writer. But it planted that seed in me that was like, I could write.
Sam Valentine
Yeah, you got a big seal of approval on your first script. That's amazing.
Lynn Chin
I know, as I'm saying this out loud. God damn. I do have a lot of beginner's luck. You are still that girl from high school. It still doesn't feel that way, though. But. But so what ended up happening was with my movie. A year ago, Thanksgiving time, I was taking a hike with this guy, Dave Boyle, who wrote and directed these two movies I had done in 2011 and 2012 called Surrogate Valentine and Daylight Savings. They were. It was a sequel. They were sequels, and they were shot in black and white for no budget. And I loved these movies, and I love Dave, and I love. He's put me in a bunch of his films and we're friends, and I just think he's so. Such an amazing filmmaker. And I had always thought it was going to be a trilogy. So when we were hiking, I had found my DVD earlier, and it had been seven years, and the DVD says the trilogy. So I said to him, hey, Dave, when's the trilogy gonna finish? I'd really love to play Rachel again and find out who Go ends up with. Cause all the movies center around this guy named Go. And we try to figure out who he ends up with. And there are these three. Three women.
Sam Valentine
It's like a How I Met yout Mother. Romantic.
Lynn Chin
Like, we just never knew who he. Like, it was always a cliffhanger at the end. So he was like. Dave almost looked at me like, you're ridiculous. And he was like, it's never gonna happen, Lynn.
Sam Valentine
Never.
Lynn Chin
That's what is gonna happen. Never. And I was like, what?
Sam Valentine
What?
Lynn Chin
I thought this Was a trilogy, like the lowest budget trilogy ever made. You said that at south by Southwest, like, how can you lie to people? And he was like, it's never gonna happen. I never wanna make a movie for that little ever again. Never.
Sam Valentine
Let alone two. That's very important.
Lynn Chin
Yeah, exactly. What else is there to say? And I was like, what if I tell the story? What if I make it happen? And he said to me, lynn, if you wanna make it happen, I will produce it. And the second he said that, I was like, ooh, I have Dave's approval. Like, he's really okay. And that week, I don't know what happened, but I went home for Thanksgiving and on the plane ride back, I. It poured out of me like nothing I'd ever known before. And I wrote that script on the plane ride there and back, immersed in it. I came back and I was like, bam. But with a PDF, not with an actual script. I took the PDF and I was like, send. And I sent it to him and go. And they both read it and we're like, holy shit. I guess we're making a movie. Wow. Long story short or short story short because it's only been a year. We kick started it, we self funded it and we made it. It's in the can. I actually just watched a cut of it before I came here because we've been testing it and hopefully will be released at the end of the year. But like all of this would not have happened had I not written that other script, had I not gotten that holding deal, had I not all of those things. And I will say this, I had two of the most heart wrenching close calls with auditioning to two roles that I thought were this is it moments during that year. And one of them, one of them didn't happen. And I expected it not to happen because it was such a big deal that I was not. I was like, I was just grateful to be in the running for it. And the other one was so painful because it was such like, they really, they were really horrible to me that I'll tell you who afterwards.
Sam Valentine
Okay, okay.
Lynn Chin
But those two situations were enough for me to be like, fuck it, I'm making my own.
Sam Valentine
Just like the production people, like the director, producer were terrible.
Lynn Chin
I'll tell you what happened. I won't tell you what the show was or anything, but basically I had put myself on a self tape for something I did not think I was gonna get because it was far above what I consider to be, quote unquote, my league.
Sam Valentine
Did you get A request for the self tape or did you just decide to do it?
Lynn Chin
I got a request quest for the self tape. And I did it. And I heard nothing and I didn't expect to hear anything. And a month later I get a call and it's, you are their only choice and you are the choice. And you are the only choice. They're sending you forward to test. They're sending your tape forward to test the next week. I hear you pass the test. He wants. He's coming to town. I love you.
Sam Valentine
The test, by the way.
Lynn Chin
I know, I love that too. The one that I just did at home.
Sam Valentine
Yeah, please.
Lynn Chin
It was freaking awesome. And I felt so great about it. I was like, yes. All the hard work paid off. And he came to town and the leading person had. The leading man had come to town and he wanted to take us out to lunch to celebrate. And all I had to do was show up, have lunch, show up, have lunch, have an hour lunch, Thought it went great, come home. Literally an hour later, I get a call from my manager being like, so they didn't really think you and he had like chemistry, so they're reopening it up again.
Sam Valentine
Oh, it was a chemistry read lunch.
Lynn Chin
I had no idea.
Sam Valentine
That would have been lovely.
Lynn Chin
That I was even his love interest. Because I didn't get a script. What? Because the sides, I had made no mention of them. I had no freaking clue.
Sam Valentine
You were supposed to have lunch and also be flirting with him at the same time as a person having lunch, not as the actor. That is so ins.
Lynn Chin
But also during the lunch, the entire time he was talking like, I had the part. When you do this, when you like, like all this stuff when we begin shooting, when blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I really was like, it's hard not to take that personally. Absolutely. And so for the next month, I just let it go. I was just like, fuck them. I don't want to like work with people who put me through that. Like, whatever, I don't care. So I go on and I find out I'm in, like I'm pinned for this other huge role in a huge movie. And I was like, fuck yeah. Awesome, Great. This is it. That didn't happen, cuz this is it.
Sam Valentine
Level up like your middle finger to that.
Lynn Chin
I felt to myself like, I do belong in this group. Like before I was like, I don't think I'm gonna get these parts cuz I don't think I belong. But suddenly I was like, maybe I do belong. Hey, what do you know? And I was feeling pretty damn good. Yeah. And suddenly I get a call. I didn't get that part. The part I was pinned for, but I didn't expect it, to be honest. And then I get a call, like, out of the blue, and they're like. So they couldn't find the person, apparently. And the casting director was really rooting for you, and they want you to come and read. Do it. Do actual, like, chemistry read. Like, at.
Sam Valentine
This was the one for the show.
Lynn Chin
Yes. Oh, by the way, before that, I had to write a groveling letter about the lunch.
Sam Valentine
What?
Lynn Chin
I had to write a groveling letter to be like, I don't know what you like, didn't see, but I want this part so bad. And I did. I meant every word I said in that letter. But I hated that I had to do that. You reject me and I have to come crawling back.
Sam Valentine
Was it a guy?
Lynn Chin
Yes.
Sam Valentine
That's so gross. Yeah.
Lynn Chin
I hate this. Yeah. Anyway, I had to go for that test.
Sam Valentine
Were they there?
Lynn Chin
They were there, and they were shooting the show as I was there. So I had to walk past, like, everyone did my quote, unquote chemistry read. And at the end of the audition, the guy who I knew didn't want me comes up to me and he says to me, linh, you're a great actress. And that's when I knew. I'm not getting this.
Sam Valentine
No. Yeah. That's a hard no. And your freaking time.
Lynn Chin
It was a lot. A lot.
Sam Valentine
Isn't this business fun?
Lynn Chin
A lot. And the saddest part was I had such respect for these people. Such respect. I like, they were, like. They were people who I really admired and inspired me. So it was a real heartbreak. But at the same time, it didn't destroy me by any means. It lit a fire under me. If anything, you're pretty resilient.
Sam Valentine
Do you realize that?
Lynn Chin
I wasn't always, though.
Sam Valentine
I feel like your life has made you this resilient.
Lynn Chin
The pain and the actual, like, physical suffering of my eating disorder were many years of, like, just trying. So many years of trying to figure something out and then realizing there's something to figure out. Surprise. None of it makes sense.
Sam Valentine
Welcome to life.
Lynn Chin
Stop trying to make sense of it. But at the same time, there's been so many moments of magic still, despite all of the. None of this makes sense. There's no hope. There's also been incredible moments of grace and something that I don't know what to call it except for the hand of God. Like, those moments have happened also. So I'm just, like, trying to absorb it, be open to it, live it. I'm in my 40s now.
Sam Valentine
No, you're not.
Lynn Chin
I am. And I used to be afraid of saying that whatever you're doing, it's working. Well, what it is, honestly, it's just so being vulnerable and. But not letting that vulnerability become your identity. Yeah, that's a really hard line, especially in today's social media age where people will be rewarded. I was rewarded for being vulnerable. I became a spokesperson for the National Eating Disorders association because of that. But just so cool. It was awesome. But even that makes you realize. And what does that mean, really? What does it mean? It's a balance of feeding your ego sometimes and then, like, also keeping your ego in check. And, I don't know, like, life is so hard enough sometimes I'm just like, why do we make it so complicated? It really isn't. That's just, like, the lesson I keep learning over and over again, which is I just want to. Before, I. When I was thinking, oh, God, I should never say that I'm in my 40s, but now I'm like, why not? Yes, why not? I plan on doing this for a while, and it's there on IMDb if anyone really wants to see it, they're gonna see it.
Sam Valentine
If I fought, SAG lost.
Lynn Chin
I know, right? I was there, like, the day I thought I was supposed to switch over, and I was like, God damn it.
Sam Valentine
Okay, if anyone doesn't know about this, SAG fought to change the. IMDb has an open platform that you can have people's ages on, which is neither here nor there.
Lynn Chin
But it's there. It's there. And I'm done pretending. I'm done pretending I'm something I'm not.
Sam Valentine
That's beautiful. That was so awesome. But this whole time you've had. And we're just at an hour, so if you need to go, let me know. But if I can have you for a few more minutes. This whole time, you had a home base, you had your husband.
Lynn Chin
Yes.
Sam Valentine
Who swept you off of the floor in your heap to wine country. How has it been being married in Hollywood? Because sometimes it can be tumultuous, I think because your husband is involved with the business, but he's not an actor. So how do you maintain a healthy relationship in Hollywood while you're trying to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself?
Lynn Chin
I have to really give props to my husband because he is definitely my rock. And a lot of people say you do need, like, some sort of, like, a base in order to survive this industry, because it is such a roller coaster that you need something to hold on to, someone to hold on to. That said, because I met my husband when we were kids in college, junior year is when we met 21 years ago, we really allowed each other to fuck up. Like, we were so young that we allowed each other to grow. And because of that, we still allow each other to grow. We don't expect one another to have it figured out. We don't expect one another to make this choice and then stick to it.
Sam Valentine
Yeah.
Lynn Chin
Because we've seen each other change our minds constantly and adapt and grow and not grow and regress quite a bit. And each moment of just being like, all right, I'm here. I understand. But something I had to learn about my husband, and I learned this not only through my career, but through my eating disorder, was that he couldn't fix me. He could never fix me. He could never be the one. No matter how many times he tells me, you're beautiful, I love you, you're loved. Like, you got it. Nothing's wrong with you. No matter how many times he said that, and no matter how many times, I know he means still has to come from me, no matter what. And with my eating disorder, he really tried to fix things. He really did. And it wasn't until he was, like, yours to fix. I'm just here. That's when I could finally get better.
Sam Valentine
It's very hard to watch someone you love suffer and not be able to just fix it.
Lynn Chin
Yeah. And also, like, with my career, I think initially, you know, it was really hard for him because that first movie I did, I was naked in and I did a love scene, and I don't know if it's still big. Mr. Skin was big back then.
Sam Valentine
Oh, my God.
Lynn Chin
I forgot about it. I don't know even if it exists anymore. There's just so much now. I know you probably just type in YouTube and see my boobs, but I remember him being so upset because he was like, you're gonna be on Mr. Skin. Like, suddenly you're not mine anymore. And he also hated, like, going to red. He still doesn't love it. He doesn't love, like, holding my purse on a red carpet. I know Caleb already. He hates.
Sam Valentine
It's like, I'll be on the other side of the.
Lynn Chin
Yeah. He's just, bye, bye, bye. But as the years have gone on, like, he gets it. Yeah. And he just accepts it. And, like, he's also in the industry, too. So, like, I have to do Stuff for him as well.
Sam Valentine
Yeah.
Lynn Chin
You know, with. It's been interesting. Like, as our careers have grown, we have to start to. It's just a job. It's just, like, what we have to do for each other. So I hate to sound ungrateful about it, but it's like taking out the garbage, you know, it's just a part of it right now. And, like, sometimes it's fun and enjoyable. Like, south by Southwest was awesome.
Sam Valentine
Oh, did he get to go to. Oh, it's so fun.
Lynn Chin
Even though he was like, I'm gonna have to work weekends now to, like, to go and support you. But he knew I needed that support and he was great about it. But he's not coming with me to San Diego when I go in a few weeks.
Sam Valentine
One thing at a time.
Lynn Chin
Yeah.
Sam Valentine
I could actually talk to you for two more hours, but I won't make you stay here for much longer. Is there any thing. If there was one thing we. There were so many moments in this podcast that I can't wait to share with people. But if there was one thing that you wish you knew when you moved out here or that you could impart on actors when they move out here, it could be something we've covered or not so far. What would that thing be?
Lynn Chin
I think. I think it's that nobody knows what they're talking about, not even me. Because you will hear so much advice. Yeah, so much advice. And here's the thing. I'm a podcast junkie and advice junkie as much as anybody. I love listening to what someone has to say, saying, pocketing that little nugget. But for the most part, the more, like, friends with, like, producers and heads of studios and quote, unquote, people that are supposed to intimidate us that I meet, the more I'm like, they don't know what they're talking about, really. Everyone's got imposter syndrome the same way everyone's got food issues. We're all just human beings. We don't know all the answers. Don't you think if we knew how to make a cash cow, we'd make a cash cow? So if someone's telling you to lose weight, that your pictures aren't good enough, that you need to do this and this, and you're not feeling it in, like, your gut, that, like, you can make that happen in a way that's, like, pleasant, that isn't going to kill you, that you, like, don't feel like. I don't wanna, Like, I don't think you should have to make that decision like people. I wasted so much time listening to what I thought I should do. Just way too much time. God, that's so true. And there's a lot of painful moments where I could have been in a frickin sauna, like meditating and relaxing when I was like really killing myself mentally and physically. And I think take that advice when you need it, when it's helpful. But honestly, you have to be your own best friend in this industry because people are going to tell you things that make you smile and people are going to tell you things that tear you apart. And all you can do is just be kind to yourself. Treat yourself like the way you would your best friend. Because it's just hard enough. Life is hard enough. Not just this industry. Every bit of life can be really challenging. And I just feel, I just feel like when you got people like telling you things that don't ring true for yourself, it's probably not for you. For you. Exactly.
Sam Valentine
So true.
Lynn Chin
Exactly. And also when you're hearing signs from the universe that like you're supposed to give up or signs from the universe that you're supposed to keep going, I would say don't take it too seriously because I have examples of both. And I don't really think like I needed to be freaking out about those signs as much as I did. Yeah. You know, take it with a grain of salt.
Sam Valentine
Just like other people's advice.
Lynn Chin
Yeah.
Sam Valentine
Universe. You go in that category.
Lynn Chin
Yeah.
Sam Valentine
Is there anywhere you want to tell people to go for any projects you've done recently or your social media or anything like that?
Lynn Chin
You just go to lynchen.com. it's all there, all the, every thing.
Sam Valentine
Awesome. And people can still check out the Actors Diet. Does it still exist?
Lynn Chin
If you type in the actorsdiet.com it'll go straight to my website blog, which I like well, even though I closed it like the Actors Diet. And I still love doing it.
Sam Valentine
It's just nice to have a platform.
Lynn Chin
To put things sometimes. Like I just went to south by Southwest. I wanted to put my pictures somewhere just so I could look at them, you know, like when I travel, I still want to do it. It's for me, it's not for anyone else. You can be there to look at it if you want to, but I just having that, I like having that place for it.
Sam Valentine
Yeah.
Lynn Chin
It was how I learned to communicate for 10 years. So I have to keep it up.
Sam Valentine
Yeah, don't make it all.
Lynn Chin
I mean Squarespace allows you to have a blog, so why not? I know.
Sam Valentine
It's such a nice all in one platform. When they're ready to sponsor this podcast. Okay, thank you so much. This was. This is exactly what I needed on a Wednesday night. And I feel like I just got a breath of fresh air. I could not have needed this more. Thank you.
Lynn Chin
Oh, thank you so much for saying that. Thank you for having me. Thank you for. For having this platform. It's very important.
Sam Valentine
Oh, and we met via a miss in the biz. Oh, yeah. I didn't even say that.
Lynn Chin
That's right.
Sam Valentine
Both wrote for it.
Lynn Chin
They are wonderful.
Sam Valentine
Wonderful.
Lynn Chin
And that's in the biz.
Sam Valentine
That'll be attached here too. It's. It's all. It's like the blog of women in the industry.
Lynn Chin
I have to say today. Like the way you guys all. We all. We all have. And not just you guys, like, everyone in the world has access to, like, things today that we would have killed for back in the day. Literally just had one book that I dog eared and wrote in and that was it. That was my bible. And it wasn't even a well written book.
Sam Valentine
So many acting books on that shelf from college and I'm like, most of those are irrelevant now. Not a single act for a camera.
Lynn Chin
None of is relevant.
Sam Valentine
And actually, wait, did you do audiobooks?
Lynn Chin
Yeah, just one. I did one audiobook.
Sam Valentine
Was it Crazy Rich Asians?
Lynn Chin
It was Crazy Rich Asians.
Sam Valentine
The Day I'm gonna Sound like a psycho at the very end of this podcast. Right before we had that meetup where I met you, I had just finished listening to that book on Audible.
Lynn Chin
That's bizarre.
Sam Valentine
And you sat down and you started talking and I was like, oh, fuck. So embarrassing. But I feel like I know her so well because I just listened to her for 15 hours. That's so funny. That's the only one you've done.
Lynn Chin
Yes. And I know you look shocked, but that's my point. That's my point. I did. I narrated like the number one bestseller on Audible this past year. And in years, in past, do you know who's called me to do an audiobook? No one. Really? No one.
Sam Valentine
But it was so good.
Lynn Chin
Yeah. But that said, you know why? I don't care. It's hard.
Sam Valentine
Yeah, it's hard.
Lynn Chin
It's really difficult process. A process that doesn't pay very well and you don't see zero residuals.
Sam Valentine
The reader, zero fortunate.
Lynn Chin
So, yeah, I. I'm not heartbroken about it. I mean, if somebody wants to call me to do an audio.
Sam Valentine
You have a great audience on this podcast.
Lynn Chin
I've done it before, but I.
Sam Valentine
How funny.
Lynn Chin
Yeah, that's my point. Do not think that just because dot, dot, dot, that means dot, dot. And anyone who tells you otherwise doesn't know what they're talking about.
Sam Valentine
Oh God, that's so true. Well, I felt like a stalker when I met you.
Lynn Chin
Just the end. That's so awesome.
Sam Valentine
Okay, cool. Well, on that note, we will just close things out. Thank you again.
Lynn Chin
Thank you guys.
Sam Valentine
I'll talk to you in just a bit. Oh, that brings us to the end of today's podcast, guys. That's the last episode of the season. Woohoo. We made it 12 episodes in. Thank you so, so much for listening. I cannot thank you guys enough. I know I say it every week, but I truly, truly mean it. I'm glad that I can give you some sort of content to make this world feel a little more of a community than a crazy roller coaster ride. Thank you for staying subscribed also to the podcast. Don't delete me out of your podcast feed because there might be some extra content coming up between now and the next podcast season, which will hopefully be before the holidays this year. So don't go anywhere. I'm still here. Season 5 is already in the works with a full list of incredible guests. I also want to say thank you so much for those of you who are on the newsletter. That is also going to have some good stuff. So make sure you're not going anywhere in the follows on Instagram, blah blah blah blah. You guys know the drill. Also, heads up, SAG voting is coming up. If you have not checked into the inner workings of SAG and you're a member of and you're getting all this paperwork in the mail, that is not a residuals check. That is actually materials about voting. Please make sure you vote. Please make sure you educate yourself before you vote. That's my psa. You might be hearing from me again shortly. Thank you so much to Laurel Canyon Creative for all of your production help and social media help this whole season. You guys, if you haven't checked out one broke actress on Instagram, they have really revamped the whole platform for me. Laurel Caney, Creative and Cecilia especially have been so helpful to me. If you guys are looking to have a different social media presence, redo your website, blah blah blah. Check them out. While you're at it, check out Maggie Szabo. She has some really cool music coming up and she is just an incredible singer who sings our theme song. And guys, I will talk to you in a few weeks. I will, I will put my heart on the line Give it all this time I will, I will put my heart on the line Nothing stop me this time.
Podcast Summary: One Broke Actress – "The 'Hollywood Body Standard' No One Prepares You For with Lynn Chin It Hits Different"**
Release Date: June 5, 2025
In this poignant episode of One Broke Actress, host Sam Valentine delves deep into the often-unspoken pressures of body image within the acting industry alongside guest Lynn Chin. Titled "The 'Hollywood Body Standard' No One Prepares You For with Lynn Chin It Hits Different*", the episode offers a raw and honest exploration of the challenges actors face regarding societal and industry-imposed body standards.
Sam Valentine opens the episode by acknowledging the evolving nature of both the host and the guest, emphasizing growth and the shifting relevance of past experiences. She introduces Lynn Chin, highlighting her advocacy for eating disorder awareness and her journey through the tumultuous world of acting.
Timestamp [04:39]:
Lynn shares her early exposure to performance through her mother's role in the Metropolitan Opera House Ladies Chorus.
“I started acting before I could even process what was happening... I was in the children's chorus with her... I made my debut on the stage when they had the ballet come in.”
From a young age, Lynn was immersed in the performing arts, balancing between New Jersey and New York, participating in major productions like South Pacific with the New York City Opera.
Timestamp [07:57]:
Lynn recounts her transformation from a background performer to leading roles in high school plays.
“I auditioned for the school play the next year... I got the lead. And seeing my name on that sheet... I'm still chasing that feeling.”
Her early success fostered a passion for acting, though she grappled with social isolation due to her dedication to performances.
Timestamp [09:38]:
Lynn discusses her college experience at Wesleyan in Connecticut, where an academic shift away from active performing dampened her enthusiasm.
“I started off professional right away... It was boring. I hate this. I want to do drugs.”
Despite her initial reluctance, pressure from her father led her to pursue a double major in music and women's studies, although it proved impractical for her career ambitions.
Timestamp [10:36]:
After college, Lynn secured her first role on Law & Order, marking her entry into professional acting.
“I booked my first job on Law and Order, got my SAG card, and that's been it.”
She experienced rapid career growth, including a recurring role on All My Children and a significant part in Saving Face. However, with success came immense pressure to conform to strict body standards.
Timestamp [16:30]:
Lynn opens up about her struggle with binge eating, initially unaware it was an eating disorder.
“I was a binge eater... I didn't know it was an eating disorder.”
When cast in a ballet dancer role, she was pressured to lose weight, prompting her to adopt a healthier lifestyle initially. However, post-filming, the absence of steady work and external pressures led to a relapse into disordered eating.
Timestamp [35:08]:
In response to her eating disorder, Lynn launched The Actor's Diet, a blog focused on food accountability.
“If I posted every single thing that I ate... I couldn't eat too little, and I couldn't eat too much.”
This venture transformed her relationship with food, shifting from obsession to balance.
“Food wasn't the enemy. It was just there, and it became my job.”
Timestamp [41:02]:
After a period of self-reflection and personal growth, Lynn returned to acting with renewed vigor.
“I just do it. I just take one foot in front of the other.”
She developed new skills, such as writing and producing, culminating in her first feature film, I Will Make You Mine. This pivot was fueled by resilience forged through her struggles.
Timestamp [58:20]:
Lynn shares experiences of rejection despite apparent success, highlighting the unpredictability of the acting industry.
“They kept telling me I was the only choice... Then I got rejected unexpectedly.”
These moments reinforced her determination to create her own opportunities rather than relying solely on industry approval.
Timestamp [65:32]:
Discussion shifts to Lynn's marriage and how her husband serves as a stabilizing force amidst Hollywood's chaos.
“My husband is definitely my rock. We allow each other to grow.”
They support each other's careers without imposing expectations, fostering a relationship built on mutual respect and understanding.
Timestamp [69:36]:
Lynn offers invaluable advice to actors entering the industry:
“Nobody knows what they're talking about... Be your own best friend.”
“Treat yourself like the way you would your best friend.”
“Don't depend on others to make you feel good about yourself.”
She emphasizes the importance of self-kindness and authenticity over conforming to external standards.
Sam and Lynn wrap up the conversation by reflecting on the importance of vulnerability without letting it define one's identity. Lynn underscores the necessity of resilience and the relentless nature of the acting profession.
Timestamp [76:00]:
Lynn concludes with a hopeful message:
“Life is hard enough. Be kind to yourself.”
“You're just human beings. We don't know all the answers.”
Body Image Pressures: The acting industry imposes unrealistic body standards, leading many actors to develop unhealthy relationships with food.
Resilience Through Adversity: Personal struggles, including eating disorders and professional setbacks, can fuel personal growth and creative endeavors.
Importance of Support Systems: Maintaining healthy relationships outside the industry provides essential stability and support.
Authenticity Over Conformity: Embracing one's true self and setting personal boundaries is crucial for mental and emotional well-being.
Self-Advocacy: Actors must prioritize self-care and self-acceptance over external expectations to thrive in a competitive environment.
“Nobody knows what they're talking about... Be your own best friend.” — Lynn Chin [69:36]
“Food wasn't the enemy. It was just there, and it became my job.” — Lynn Chin [38:29]
“Treat yourself like the way you would your best friend.” — Lynn Chin [69:36]
“Life is hard enough. Be kind to yourself.” — Lynn Chin [76:00]
This episode serves as a crucial reminder of the personal battles many actors fight behind the scenes. By sharing her story, Lynn Chin not only sheds light on the industry's demanding standards but also offers hope and guidance to those navigating similar challenges. For actors feeling overwhelmed by Hollywood's pressures, this conversation underscores the importance of self-compassion, resilience, and the unwavering pursuit of one's authentic path.
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Stay tuned for more insightful conversations in Season 5 of One Broke Actress, where Sam Valentine continues to unpack the multifaceted lives of actors, offering support and solidarity within the often solitary journey of Hollywood.