IMPORTANT NOTICE: Spotify's podcast hosting feature malfunctioned and did not process or upload this episode, even though it was originally scheduled to premiere at 9:15 on March 2, 2026. I had to call corporate and work with their tech support to get this episode uploaded. It's unclear why this happened. I wanted to acknowledge that this episode was late, and that it took some time to get it remediated with the hosting service. I'm so sorry for the delay, I was really excited for everyone to hear this episode on time.

I’d rather cornrow every grain of sand on every coast the Atlantic touches before I want to hear about your situationship, even if you only talk for 2 minutes. Ugh.

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