Ongoing History of New Music – Episode: Stupid History 2 Release Date: May 14, 2025 Host: Alan Cross

Introduction to Stupid History

In this engaging episode of Ongoing History of New Music, host Alan Cross delves into the quirky and often absurd facets of history through his segment, "Stupid History." This installment, titled "Stupid History 2," explores bizarre events and anecdotes, many of which intersect with the world of music. Cross emphasizes the importance of these lesser-known stories in enriching our understanding of history beyond the conventional narratives.

"History is more than this country going to war with that one who married whom to create whatever royal alliance and which explorers went where to inflict harm on what indigenous people."
— Alan Cross [03:15]

Weevils in 16th Century France: A Legal Battle

Alan kicks off with a fascinating tale from 1545 in Saint Julien, France, where winemakers, frustrated by their vines being devoured by weevil bugs, took an unprecedented legal stance against the pests. Legal documents were meticulously drafted, and the weevils were even represented by a defense lawyer in court. The trial concluded with the weevils being found guilty, and a judge issued a stern proclamation demanding the cessation of their vineyard devastation.

Surprisingly, the weevils complied, and the infestation halted for four decades. When the weevils returned in 1587, the vineyards again resorted to legal actions, though the outcome of this subsequent trial remains a mystery.

"I love this. That is wonderful, stupid history."
— Alan Cross [12:45]

Stupid History in Advertising and Public Events

Cross shares additional examples of absurd historical events:

• 1952 L&M Cigarettes: The brand's slogan, "Just what the doctor ordered," absurdly suggested cigarettes as a health remedy.

• Human Kindness Day (May 10, 1975): Intended as a day to promote kindness, the event in Washington D.C. resulted in chaos, including 600 arrests and numerous violent incidents.

• Madame de la Brise’s Will (1876): Upon her death, she bequeathed 125,000 francs to buy clothing for snowmen in Paris. Additionally, she reportedly dressed her goldfish in miniature suits to ensure they weren't seen "swimming around naked."

"Stupid History should be its own faculty in universities around the world."
— Alan Cross [18:20]

The My Way Murders: Karaoke Rage

Transitioning to "Stupid History" within the music realm, Cross discusses the notorious "My Way Murders" in the Philippines. Karaoke, a beloved pastime in the country, became deadly due to disputes arising from performances of Frank Sinatra's "My Way." Since the first murder in 1998, approximately a dozen individuals have lost their lives over altercations related to this song. Incidents range from bouncers shooting off-key singers to neighbors stabbing each other during karaoke parties.

Cross extends the narrative to global "karaoke rage" incidents:

• Thailand (March 2008): A man fatally shot eight people over a dispute involving John Denver's "Take Me Home, Country Roads."

• Malaysia (December 2008): A man was stabbed in a coffee shop for monopolizing the karaoke machine.

• China (2012): Two individuals were killed with a meat cleaver for refusing to share the microphone.

• Thailand and Florida (2013 & 2024): Additional violent acts linked to karaoke performances, including a Florida man brandishing a gun over a broken machine.

A particularly alarming incident occurred on March 16, 2024, when Aaron Jablonski, frustrated by a broken karaoke machine at a Clearwater bar, fired a gun after being denied access. Arrested on multiple charges, this event underscores the extreme dangers associated with karaoke rage.

"Karaoke is a serious and dangerous business."
— Alan Cross [32:10]

The Tragic Tale of Michael Hutchence

Alan recounts the unfortunate story of Michael Hutchence, lead singer of INXS. In 1992, while walking with his then-girlfriend Helena Christensen in Copenhagen, Hutchence was brutally punched by an irate taxi driver over a minor dispute. This assault caused severe brain damage, altering his personality and behavior drastically. Once a gentle individual, Hutchence became aggressive, leading to erratic actions, conflicts within the band, and tumultuous personal relationships. His deteriorating mental state and struggles with substance abuse culminated in his untimely death on November 22, 1997, in what appeared to be a suicide.

"What really led to his death was stopping for a slice of pizza in Copenhagen in August 1992."
— Alan Cross [45:50]

David Bowie's Descent Due to Cocaine-Induced Paranoia

Another compelling narrative involves David Bowie during the mid-1970s. Battling immense drug use, Bowie moved to Los Angeles, plunging into cocaine addiction which fostered intense paranoia. Believing witches were after his bodily fluids, Bowie took extreme measures, including saving his urine to protect his essence and adhering to a restrictive diet to maintain purity. His paranoia extended to bizarre visions and unhealthy obsessions, such as envisioning Satan performing breaststrokes in his pool.

This period of instability also saw Bowie developing an unhealthy fixation on Hitler and the Third Reich. Paranoia and drug abuse exacerbated his personal struggles, leading to severe mental health issues until he sought help by relocating to West Berlin, where he focused on sobriety and creative rejuvenation.

"Blue, blue, electric blue lights the color of my room where I will live."
— Alan Cross [56:30]

Michael Todd’s OxyContin Ordeal

The episode continues with the story of Michael Todd, bass player for Coheed and Cambria. In July 2011, Todd, battling an OxyContin addiction, attempted an armed robbery at a Walgreens to procure more of the drug. Armed with a bomb threat, he demanded OxyContin, leading to his arrest and subsequent sentencing to home confinement and probation. His struggles didn't end there; in 2012, Todd was diagnosed with cancer. Despite these challenges, he persevered and continued making music through solo projects, exemplifying resilience amidst personal turmoil.

"Life’s a trip. Make the most of it at Best Western."
— Alan Cross [63:40] (Note: This timestamp reflects a transition from content to advertisement)

Metallica’s Cliff Burton: A Card Game Catastrophe

Alan narrates the unfortunate accident that led to the death of Metallica's bassist, Cliff Burton. On September 27, 1986, while touring Sweden for the Master of Puppets album, the band was traveling between Stockholm and Copenhagen. To decide bunk assignments on their tour bus, they drew cards. Burton, having picked the ace of spades, chose Kirk Hammett's bunk and went to sleep. However, around dawn, the bus hit black ice, causing it to lose control and veer off the road. Burton was ejected from his bunk, struck by the bus, and tragically killed when rescue efforts faltered.

The incident remains shrouded in rumors of substance abuse affecting the driver's judgment, but official investigations deemed it a winter traffic accident. This tragedy underscores the fragility of life and the unforeseen consequences of seemingly trivial decisions.

"It all started with a cut of the cards."
— Alan Cross [74:15]

Eddie Vedder’s Early Modeling Career

A surprising revelation about Eddie Vedder, the iconic frontman of Pearl Jam, is highlighted next. Before his rise to fame in the grunge scene, Vedder embarked on a brief career as a child model in Chicago. Under the name Eddie J. Mueller, he appeared in numerous department store catalogs and television commercials, including memorable spots for Mattel's Big Wheel during Saturday morning cartoons.

This early venture into modeling contrasts sharply with Vedder's later rebellious and socially conscious persona, illustrating the diverse paths artists can traverse before finding their true calling.

"Big Wheels are a rolling..."
— Alan Cross [80:50]

The Clash’s "Rock the Kasbah" and Rashid Taha’s Influence

Cross explores the creation of The Clash's hit "Rock the Kasbah." Initially, drummer Topper Headon composed the song, penning lyrics about missing his girlfriend. However, Joe Strummer felt the need for a change and introduced the now-famous phrase "Rock the Kasbah." Inspired by concerns over music's political implications, particularly in Iran, Strummer sought to infuse the song with a more robust message.

Additionally, the Algerian artist Rashid Taha, leader of the French Arab punk band Residence Pyramid, allegedly influenced the song's development. After encountering Taha in Paris and receiving his demo cassette, similarities surfaced between Taha's work and "Rock the Kasbah," though there was no ill will between the artists.

"Did the Clash rip him off? Didn’t seem to be any hard feelings."
— Alan Cross [85:30]

Pete Doherty’s Epic Breakfast Challenge

In a lighter yet equally absurd story, Pete Doherty of The Libertines and Babyshambles fame takes on a gargantuan breakfast challenge at the Dalby Cafe in Cliftonville, Margate, on August 21, 2018. The meal included an overwhelming assortment of eggs, bacon, sausages, hash browns, onion rings, beans, a hamburger patty, French fries, toast, and bubble and squeak—all served on a plate the size of a toilet seat. Completing the challenge within 20 minutes earned Doherty a free meal, a feat that astonished onlookers and garnered national attention in the UK. Since then, the Dalby Cafe has seen a surge in patrons attempting to replicate Doherty's accomplishment.

"I just get sick thinking about it."
— Alan Cross [92:10]

Shannon Hoon’s Indecent Act at a Concert

The final story recounts an incident involving Shannon Hoon of Blind Melon during a concert on October 31, 1993, in Vancouver. Fueled by alcohol and possibly drugs, Hoon stripped naked during the final three songs, simulated sexual acts with a roadie in a bee costume, and proceeded to urinate on stage. His erratic behavior continued as he yelled at police officers while on the roof of the tour bus, leading to his arrest for an indecent act. The aftermath included public apologies from the promoter to the affected audience members, highlighting the unpredictable and often disturbing actions that can emerge from excessive indulgence.

"It’s not San I Just Want Someone Now. Make no mistake about it."
— Alan Cross [100:25]

Conclusion: Embracing the Absurdities of History

Alan Cross wraps up the episode by reflecting on the duality of history—its serious and its absurd components. He underscores the value of studying these "stupid" events to gain comprehensive insights into human behavior and societal changes. Whether for educational purposes or sheer entertainment, these stories enrich our understanding of the past and remind us of the unpredictable nature of human actions.

"Humans are weird creatures who often do strange and stupid things. These things also become part of the historical record."
— Alan Cross [105:50]

Cross teases future episodes of "Stupid History," promising more intriguing and humorous historical anecdotes, especially those intertwined with the music industry. He encourages listeners to explore other history-focused podcasts and stay connected through various social media platforms for more engaging content.

Engage with Ongoing History of New Music

For those fascinated by the intricate blend of history and music, Ongoing History of New Music offers a treasure trove of stories that illuminate the quirky and often overlooked events shaping the musical landscape. Whether you're a history buff, a music enthusiast, or simply seeking compelling narratives, this podcast serves as an enlightening and entertaining resource.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

1. "History is more than this country going to war with that one who married whom to create whatever royal alliance and which explorers went where to inflict harm on what indigenous people."
   — Alan Cross [03:15]

2. "I love this. That is wonderful, stupid history."
   — Alan Cross [12:45]

3. "Stupid History should be its own faculty in universities around the world."
   — Alan Cross [18:20]

4. "Karaoke is a serious and dangerous business."
   — Alan Cross [32:10]

5. "What really led to his death was stopping for a slice of pizza in Copenhagen in August 1992."
   — Alan Cross [45:50]

6. "Blue, blue, electric blue lights the color of my room where I will live."
   — Alan Cross [56:30]

7. "It all started with a cut of the cards."
   — Alan Cross [74:15]

8. "Did the Clash rip him off? Didn’t seem to be any hard feelings."
   — Alan Cross [85:30]

9. "I just get sick thinking about it."
   — Alan Cross [92:10]

10. "It’s not San I Just Want Someone Now. Make no mistake about it."
    — Alan Cross [100:25]

11. "Humans are weird creatures who often do strange and stupid things. These things also become part of the historical record."
    — Alan Cross [105:50]

This summary encapsulates the diverse and intriguing stories presented in the "Stupid History 2" episode, offering a glimpse into the absurd yet impactful moments intertwined with music history.