Wolves Only | 6

Summary

OnlyFantasy – "Wolves Only" | Episode 6

Date: June 18, 2026
Host: Leon Neyfakh
Co-Host/Guest: Gracie Canaan
Podcast Theme: Exploring OnlyFans as a new model for digital intimacy, connection, and human vulnerability.

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Episode Overview

In the season finale of OnlyFantasy, journalist Leon Neyfakh and comedian/OnlyFans creator Gracie Canaan dive into the complex realities of digital intimacy by meeting a longtime subscriber, “Gene,” in person. Set in a remote trailer park for privacy, their conversation probes what subscribers really seek, what creators offer, and how connections formed online can affect both parties’ self-perception and emotional lives. This candid encounter, alongside reflections on Gracie’s personal and professional evolution as an OnlyFans creator, brings the series’ inquiries into authenticity, autonomy, and the cost of loneliness to a poignant culmination.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Meeting Gene: Crossing the Boundary (00:15–04:43)

• Setting the Scene: Gracie, Leon, and producer Sam drive out to a secluded Airbnb to meet “Gene,” a regular but not top-spending OnlyFans subscriber. The secluded setting underscores the potential stigma and boundaries involved ([00:15]).
• Apprehensions and Empathy: Leon confesses to feeling suspicious and unsure whether Gene will be “creepy or deluded…a simp” ([01:00]). Gracie admits feeling nervous too, worrying about disappointing Gene in person:

  “I wanna be pretty for this person. Which is weird 'cause I don’t even feel that way on dates.” – Gracie Canaan ([01:32])

• Intentional Meeting: Gracie initiated the meeting as a final step in the podcast journey, wanting to test if online intimacy is "more than just transactional or exploitative" ([03:41]).

2. Digital Relationships vs. Real Life (06:14–13:35)

• Initial Impressions: Gene is a “normal," polite, married man, seeking emotional connections due to loneliness and isolation ([07:45]).
• Origin of the Connection:

  “I just kind of enjoyed her vibe…there’s something genuine within you that I really liked. It wasn’t just about seeing you naked. Like, I felt like we could actually have a friendship.” – Gene ([09:58])

• Marriage & Emotional Gaps: Gene details his long marriage, its evolution into non-intimacy, and his sense of responsibility (“I could only imagine leaving if my wife was the one to initiate it” – [12:53]). His attitude shaped by family history (his dad: never break up, “hold on for dear life” – [13:20]).
• Porn as Substitution: When needs aren’t met, Gene, like “millions of other men,” turns first to porn but eventually starts chatting online, finding emotional fulfillment in cam sites ([13:35]).

3. The Appeal of Paid Intimacy (14:25–19:00)

• Meaningful Online Encounters: Gene describes the sense of “legitimate pleasure” he gives to online performers using interactive sex toys:

  “It was intoxicating because…I'm able to actually do something in my life that I can actually see the clear result with.” – Gene ([15:27])

• Shared Vulnerability: Gracie is struck by the genuine desire to please (“I was getting misty eyed” – [16:50]); Leon notes how rare it is to hear men talk openly about this kind of emotional vulnerability ([17:06]).

4. Parasocial, Yet Personal (18:00–20:07)

• Being Invested: Gene describes Gracie as a “muse,” finding satisfaction in following her chaotic, free life which contrasts with his own. Watching Gracie’s posts evokes nostalgia and a sense of missed opportunities.
• Why Not Anger? Leon probes why Gene doesn’t respond with the anger seen in some men’s online communities. Gene credits self-acceptance and reframing his actions as neither shameful nor harmful, just complex ([26:18]).

5. The Cost and Value of Intimacy—for Both Sides (31:12–40:19)

• Gracie’s Growth: Fast-forward to 2026, Gracie’s success has allowed a new apartment and a more professional approach—including delegating admin tasks and implementing systems to filter subscribers by engagement (“wolves, dogs, mice, goose eggs, pigs” – [34:57]).
• Earning Power and Agency:

  “Without getting into specific numbers, it’s about double—over double what I made at my day job…for a fraction of the time.” – Gracie ([35:27], [35:40]) “Money can buy peace, if not happiness then peace.” – Gracie ([36:34])

• Transactional Reality as Empowerment:

  “It is very hard to quantify affection and energy…But when you do start putting a dollar figure on it…You take that gut feeling into the real world and it really helps you navigate: what am I worth?” – Gracie ([37:27])

• Setting New Standards: Gracie uses her “wolves-only” metaphor for both her online and romantic life, empowering herself to demand "VIP" treatment from partners ([39:05]).

  “It’s not for you to fix men. They need to fix themselves.” – Gracie ([30:07])

6. Final Reflections: Connection in a Changing World (40:06–41:03)

• Symbolism of Wolves and VIPs: Gracie and Leon joke about the subscriber emoji system, underlining the importance of recognizing value—in online and offline relationships ([39:33], [40:19]).
• Broader Insights: The episode closes on the idea that many relationships—online or off—involve some trade, but acknowledging this can be freeing and even nourishing, not inherently bleak ([25:12], [37:27]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Digital Boundaries & Fantasy:

  “What if Gene, when confronted with the real me, didn't like what he saw? What if he preferred the fantasy?” – Gracie Canaan ([03:41])

• On Intimacy as Transaction:

  “So many relationships around us, whether we want to admit it or not, or whether we want to use this word, are transactional. And I think realizing that…is actually a good thing.” – Gracie Canaan ([38:57])

• On the Meaning of Online Intimacy:

  “It’s about just kinshipping, about appreciation of other people.” – Gene ([29:57])

• On Empowerment:

  “You are your own problem and I am not your solution…There’s no lightning bolt or OnlyFans account that's gonna fix [you].” – Gracie Canaan ([29:20])

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• Arriving at the meeting, setting expectations – 00:15–04:43
• Gene’s background, relationship history, and discovering OnlyFans – 07:45–14:25
• The emotional reality of online connection – 15:12–19:00
• Leon and Gene: “Why not anger?” and embracing complexity – 26:18–28:13
• Gracie’s post-OnlyFans life, subscriber filtering system, and reflections on transactional relationships – 31:12–40:19
• Concluding thoughts: wolves, worth, and the shifting rules of intimacy – 39:33–41:03

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Conclusion

The finale of OnlyFantasy masterfully ties together the series’ exploration of digital desire, loneliness, and evolving models of care. Through Gene’s story, listeners gain a moving, humanized glimpse into why digital platforms like OnlyFans can be more than just commerce—they can be spaces for genuine connection, self-discovery, and even empowerment for both creators and subscribers. Gracie’s journey encapsulates the personal growth possible when boundaries, value, and vulnerability are consciously navigated—whether through a screen or face-to-face.

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Listen wherever you get your podcasts. For more, subscribe to Audible.

Transcript

[Leon Nayfak]

Audible subscribers can binge all episodes of Only Fantasy early and ad free. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts.

[Gracie Kanan]

Ooh, now I feel nervous. I feel nervous. Now my heart's going a little bit. On a hot summer day last year, Leon, Sam, and I drove three hours out to an Airbnb in the middle of a trailer park to meet a man we'll call Gene. Sam had booked this unconventional location because it was cheap and also because we wanted to meet Gene in a place where there was no possibility that anyone he knew would see him. In Sam's defense, it was actually listed as an RV resort. Wait, so how long has this person been a subscriber? Six months, But I think he was following me on Instagram beforehand.

[Leon Nayfak]

Leon's ancy.

[Gracie Kanan]

Leon's ancy. Leon. Leon just looks like Leon. Are you antsy?

[Leon Nayfak]

I wasn't antsy. But there was something surreal about sitting in this cramped trailer waiting for this person who I couldn't help but feel a little suspicious towards. Gracie said he'd always been very nice and respectful towards her, but other than that, I didn't know much about him. I wondered if he was going to strike me as creepy or deluded or, in the parlance of the manosphere, a simp. A pitiful fan, obsessed with Gracie and starstruck to be in her presence.

[Gracie Kanan]

Jesus, Leon.

[Leon Nayfak]

Sorry. I'm mostly saying this because I was touched to observe that you didn't seem to view him this way at all.

[Gracie Kanan]

I did not. But I was still nervous to meet Gene in my own way, because I guess I didn't want him to be disappointed. I know our friend Bogdan would call me a sucker, but I cared. I even touched up my makeup while we waited for him. Can you tell my about my eyebrow? Your eyebrows look normal to me. I was like, I'm gonna be so real. And like, I'm in T shirt and jeans. But I also am like, you know, I wanna be pretty for this person. Which is weird cause I don't even feel that way on dates. Oh, I think his car's blowing up. Okay, I see him. Okay. He looks normal. He looks normal. Do you want me to open it? Sure. Okay. All right.

[Gene]

Hi.

[Gracie Kanan]

Look at you. Oh, my God. How are you?

[Gene]

All right, come on.

[Gracie Kanan]

Come on in. We're doing this immediately.

[Audible Announcer]

Hi.

[Gracie Kanan]

It's so good to meet you.

[Gene]

Same here.

[Gracie Kanan]

All right. You look like you're not gonna kill me. Not that I was worried, but.

[Gene]

No, it's understanding. You still could I mean, you lured me to a trailer park.

[Gracie Kanan]

I've been out of nowhere. If anything, I'm gonna kill you.

[Gene]

That's what I kind of.

[Gracie Kanan]

I know. To be clear, meeting up with Gene was my idea, not his. I was the one who wanted to cross that boundary with one of my subscribers, and with him in particular, because out of everyone I'd gotten to know on OnlyFans, he seemed both representative and also unique. Meeting him and asking him how OnlyFans had become part of his life, how I had become part of his life, felt like a critical final step along the journey Leon and I had embarked upon.

[Leon Nayfak]

By this point, we had talked to successful Creators, heads of OnlyFans agencies, chatters subscribers who had been swindled. We had done all this in hopes of answering the question, what is it that OnlyFans, this distinctly new form of intimacy, is doing for people that a real life partner or regular porn can't do? And what can people like me on the outside looking in, learn from OnlyFans about how the world is changing?

[Gracie Kanan]

I was looking for proof that the cynics were missing something that online intimacy between strangers could in fact be more than just transactional or exploitative in one direction or the other. Bogdan had said to me that I shouldn't care about my subscribers because, quote, they do not care about you. And that had stuck with me. Going into this meeting with Gene, I felt vulnerable. As much as I've always taken pride in being my authentic self online and on my OnlyFans page in particular. What if Gene, when confronted with the real me, didn't like what he saw? What if he preferred the fantasy?

[Leon Nayfak]

This is the sixth and final episode of Only Fantasy Wolves Only.

[Audible Announcer]

Whether you're exploring your fascinations or discovering new ones, Ottawa has stories that will introduce you to your most fascinating self. Tap into a whole new world of heated conversations with a saucy Romantasy series. Know how true the latest blockbuster movie stayed to the sci fi story it was based on, or find unexpected reveals through an exclusive true crime podcast. However you listen, Audible keeps you fascinated so you can be just as fascinating. Select any audiobook every month, plus exclusive podcasts. Plans now start at $8.99. Audible Be fascinated, Be fascinating. Whether you're exploring your fascinations or discovering new ones, Audible has stories that will introduce you to your most fascinating self. Tap into a whole new world of heated conversations with a saucy Romantasy series. Know how true the latest blockbuster movies stayed to the SC Sci Fi story it was based on or Find unexpected reveals through an exclusive true crime podcast. However you listen, Audible keeps you fascinated so you can be just as fascinating. Select any audiobook every month, plus exclusive podcasts. Plans now start at 899 audible. Be fascinated, be fascinating.

[Gracie Kanan]

I was kind of nervous to meet you. Were you nervous?

[Gene]

Are you kidding me?

[Gracie Kanan]

I don't know, you seem like it's

[Gene]

all a facade, my dear. I'm just. I'm incredibly nervous.

[Gracie Kanan]

Really?

[Gene]

Oh, yeah.

[Gracie Kanan]

Okay. I want to make us both not nervous. Gene, again, not his real name, was never one of my top subscribers in terms of the money he spent. But we talked fairly regularly. I liked getting messages from him and I always felt like I could be myself when replying. I feel so comfy because I feel like I'm. I feel like your voice when we chat is exactly the same vibe as I'm getting right now. And it's very comforting because I always feel very comforted.

[Gene]

Oh, that's nice talking to you.

[Gracie Kanan]

Which maybe I shouldn't tell you because now you're like, well, she enjoys it, so I'm just not gonna give her my. Like Jean still need to pay rent.

[Leon Nayfak]

But seeing Jean and Gracie together, I felt like I was watching a reunion between two old friends from summer camp. There was a general giddiness as they caught up and chit chatted about their cats. Gracie even tried to convince Jean to get the automatic litter box she has for her cat engine.

[Gracie Kanan]

Tell me you have an automatic litter box.

[Gene]

Oh, we don't. I'm the automatic litter box I could not buy for you.

[Gracie Kanan]

No, no, no, you got it. It's the best. $300. Hold on, I'm going to show you. It's.

[Leon Nayfak]

It was not what I would have pictured if you'd asked me to imagine this scenario. When I first started working on this podcast, I. If only because Gene struck me as pretty normal, for lack of a better word. Clean cut, well dressed, polite, not particularly awkward. So how did he end up here?

[Gene]

I'm a 40 something man who's been married for quite a long time. I've got a child and the life that I live is a very isolating one. And I have found myself over the years wanting more emotional connection with people in the world.

[Leon Nayfak]

The story of how Gracie turned out to be one of those people started in a place that I was not expecting. Gene just really loved stand up comedy.

[Gene]

So there are a couple different comedians I follow and there's something I get in terms of emotional fulfillment by watching them, whether it's living vicariously and wishing I Couldn't do that, you know, I mean, if I were to do it all over again in college, I would probably try stand up comedy just because I enjoy so much of what you all do.

[Gracie Kanan]

You know, it pains me to say this to a man, but there's still time to try it.

[Gene]

There's lots of possibilities in life and a lot of things need to change in my life for me to be able to live the life I actually want to live. And I think that's one reason why I'm so much a voyeur.

[Leon Nayfak]

One day, while casually scrolling through Instagram, Gene stumbled upon a new comedian who caught his eye.

[Gene]

Gracie shows up on there and I'm just like, whoa. Like, I actually stopped. I was like, who is this?

[Leon Nayfak]

Gene thought Gracie was funny, but from the very beginning, it was more than that. He was curious about her, about her life, her point of view.

[Gene]

I just kind of enjoyed her vibe where it was like that sort of self effacing humor that's sort of, you know, what's like living in New York. Here I am with my day job. For me, it just was like, well, let me just keep on following her and don't annoy her, but you just kind of follow her and see what, what she's up to. And then the onlyfans popped up.

[Gracie Kanan]

Jean had been quietly following me on Instagram for a few months when one day in 2024 and he noticed that I'd posted a story announcing that my most devoted fans could now access more exclusive content and actually talk to me on OnlyFans.

[Gene]

I did actually do the fist pump in the air with excitement. I'm going to be totally honest. I just think she has such a great voice and such a unique look. It was more than just like, wow, she's hot. There's depth there, there's stories there, you know, there's pasts there. And there's more than just like surface. There's. There's something genuine within you that I really liked. It wasn't just about seeing you naked. Like, I felt like we could actually have a friendship.

[Gracie Kanan]

But to be fair, like, I look sick naked.

[Gene]

Well, I mean, that's a bonus, you

[Gracie Kanan]

know, I mean, I'm being stupid, I'm fishing.

[Leon Nayfak]

So that's how Gene and Gracie met. Gene told us he and his wife met in college. He remembers being infatuated with her from the moment he saw her.

[Gene]

I felt like I got hit by lightning and I was like, who is this woman? She just had such a unique look to her and there was such Kindness emanating from her. And I'm like, whoa, what is going on here?

[Gracie Kanan]

And how would you compare that to, like, where you are now?

[Gene]

Well, you know, they really say it is a marathon and not a sprint. And we've been through a lot of odd stuff over the last decade and change from family to physical trauma to, you know, hospital stuff to diagnoses and other sorts of things. So it's evolved. It's not what it was. Doesn't mean it's bad. It's just different. And it's accepting what that difference is. It's two people. So you're going to have needs that are met and needs that aren't met. And so it's just coming to terms with what those are and saying, I need this, but if the partner is unable or cannot give that, then what do you do?

[Leon Nayfak]

Gene said that at a certain point, he and his wife had gone three years without being physically intimate, which I'm inclined to think is a pretty decisive dead end.

[Gracie Kanan]

Yeah, I mean, I've never been married, which is shocking to learn at this point in the series. I know, but I have been in serious relationships where I felt that distance that Jean's talking about. And I remember feeling empty, crushed. So hearing about Jean's situation, I silently asked myself, what would I do? And honestly, I think I'd leave.

[Leon Nayfak]

And yet Gene didn't feel like leaving was an option. He still doesn't. It has to do with factors in his life. We agreed not to disclose in order to protect his family's privacy. But we can say he feels a sense of responsibility, not just to his wife, but to his child. In fact, when we asked him if he'd ever thought about leaving, he said he could only imagine it happening if his wife was the one to initiate it.

[Gene]

I think it would have to be one of those things where she would have to be like, I can't do this anymore and you need to leave. Like, that would be different, but I don't think I could do it at this point.

[Leon Nayfak]

Gene's insistence on staying the course made a little more sense after he told us about his family. Like his original family, the one he was raised in, his parents had an unhappy marriage. And not only did they insist on white knuckling it, his father affirmatively instilled in Gene that that was the right thing to do.

[Gene]

The entire refrain from my dad was actually, if you date a girl, you hold onto her for dear life, because breaking up is one of the worst things you could possibly ever do. You will never be able to get over it. And that's the message I got my entire life.

[Gracie Kanan]

So Gene stayed, and whenever he felt like his needs weren't being met, he did what millions of other men do. He looked at porn.

[Gene]

I'm not saying that I needed things physical all the time, but, I mean, droughts were very common, or are very common, I should say. And at times there I was told, well, I don't know if it's ever going to happen again. I was at a loss. And I was depressed. I was really depressed. So I would just do the physical components of going online, looking at porn, and then maybe like six months before the pandemic, I stumbled onto a chat room. And for me, that kind of changed my whole approach to it. And then I started talking to people online, women online.

[Leon Nayfak]

This was new to Gene, and when he was first starting out, he found it shocking that he was doing it.

[Gene]

I was like, what am I even doing? Why am I doing this? This isn't something I would do.

[Leon Nayfak]

But after a while, it became a habit. Sometimes he would watch live streams on cam sites. Other times he would pay to talk to women in one on one video chats. And soon Gene found himself having actually meaningful experiences online.

[Gene]

I would interact with these women who were in their late 30s, early 40s, mid-40s, and it was really nice, you know, and not to be too graphic, but one of the things that they have on there is the. Are you familiar with the Lush device? It's a. Basically, it's a vibrating device that you can control based on the amount of tokens you can use.

[Gracie Kanan]

The Lush device is a vibrating sex toy that makes the camming experience more interactive. Basically, the cam model will insert the device down there, and whenever someone sends her a tip or a token, it vibrates.

[Gene]

So you do 100 tokens, goes, you know, a wave pulse for 30 seconds, something like that. So there was something very, especially at a point where I was in such a drought, something very meaningful about having this nice conversation, connection with somebody and then being able to push a button repeatedly and be able to legitimately give them pleasure to a point of arousal, to ecstasy was intoxicating because it's like, wow, I'm able actually to do something in my life that I can actually see the clear result with. And that helps sustain me in points, especially during the pandemic and other things where I felt at such a loss. So as hard as that time was, in many ways that was one of the few bright spots I had emotionally, because it made me feel like I could actually do something. Even though it was something as simple as pushing a button to make a woman legitimately orgasm. And that was a wild thing to see.

[Gracie Kanan]

That weird thing made me feel emotional

[Gene]

hearing you talk about that. I'm like.

[Gracie Kanan]

At this point in our conversation, Sam, who had been holding a microphone in front of Jean's face this whole time, was moved to interject. Like, I guess just hearing a man be like, I want to give a

[Leon Nayfak]

woman pleasure in like, a very genuine

[Gracie Kanan]

way just made me as a straight woman feel emotional. I was like getting misty eyed.

[Gene]

Hearing, that's so sad.

[Gracie Kanan]

This shit is really emotional.

[Leon Nayfak]

Well, and it's also.

[Gracie Kanan]

I mean, the whole reason we're happy to be talking to you and, like,

[Leon Nayfak]

so grateful that you're opening up is that it is also just really rare to hear a man talk vulnerably about this stuff.

[Gene]

Well, sure. And I think too, with my voyeur tendencies, that's another component to it, another layer to it, to be able to see that in a way where that's the gratification I'm getting.

[Gracie Kanan]

There's a part of me that can hear Bogdan laughing at Gene, saying that these stupid American men will fall for anything, and those women were probably faking their orgasms. But I'm choosing to look at this from Gene's perspective. That comfort that he got from making a woman feel good was real. He got satisfaction by essentially caring about a stranger. And I hate the idea of anyone laughing at that.

[Leon Nayfak]

About two hours into our conversation, Gracie had to step out of the trailer to take a call. I took the opportunity to ask Jean to talk behind her back a little and elaborate on what he gets out of their relationship.

[Gene]

I'm able to turn on a device and see her, and I say, oh, she's here. Oh, she's in this state. Oh, she's doing this. Oh, she's, you know, working here. Oh, she's in a sketch with this guy. Oh, she's in a sketch with this lady. All that stuff. It's fun to see what she does because I just. I don't know. And part of me is enjoying that sort of chaotic unknown with her.

[Leon Nayfak]

You're invested in her, in her journey?

[Gene]

Yes, because I can't have the freedom to do those things, but she can. And so I think a lot of it too, is the freedom that her lifestyle portrays. In my mind, you know what that

[Leon Nayfak]

makes me think of is the other day when she was posting on Instagram the photos of her and her friends packing up their car for, like, A road trip. Did you see those?

[Gene]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For her birthday or something. Yeah.

[Leon Nayfak]

You know, I mean, Gracie and I, we've been working together for a couple months, but I don't know a lot about her life outside of work. Right. And so seeing her, like, pack up a van with her friends, I was like, I don't know, it made me feel something.

[Gene]

Yeah, it was neat to see her, like, go up to, like, the Catskills. It's like, oh, wow, this is like, so New York. This is so interesting to me. I don't want to say it's like, you know, a longing for the past, but there is like a nostalgia feel about, like my life could have been more like this. If I had taken more risks, maybe I could have met somebody like her. So many people my age and friends that I know, very few of them actually like the life they have. A lot of them would change a lot of things about their lives. And I don't know if it's just being in our 40s or whatever, but a lot of things just haven't come to fruition the way we want it to. And so we've had to adjust in certain ways. And so I think by me doing these things and interacting with her and the others is a way for me to kind of stave that off and kind of stop it from happening into a full blown panic and give myself some sort of comfort and some sort of longing for what I really would like. But I know I can never have.

[Audible Announcer]

Whether you're exploring your current fascinations or discovering new ones, Audible has all the stories that'll introduce you to your most fascinating self. Tap into a whole new world of heated conversations with a saucy romantasy series. Become your friend group sci fi expert on the latest blockbuster book to screen adaptation. Or find unexpected reveals through the exclusive episodes of a viral true crime podcast. However you choose to listen, Audible keeps you fascinated so you can be just as fascinating all in one easy app. With plans now starting at $8.99, you'll get access to over 1 million audiobooks and podcasts, including trending bestsellers, the hottest new releases and exclusive podcasts you won't find anywhere else. Sign up now to become a member and get any audiobook every month, plus exclusive podcasts. Plans now start at $8.99. Audible. Be fascinated, be fascinating.

[Gene]

Hello, I'm Matt Ford.

[Gracie Kanan]

And I'm Alice Levine.

[Leon Nayfak]

And we're the hosts of British Scandal.

[Gracie Kanan]

Yes, we are. And our new series starts with a loud lovable woman from Bermondsey who becomes one of the most famous people in Britain.

[Leon Nayfak]

This is the story of Jade Gooding,

[Gracie Kanan]

the reality TV star who built a fortune just by being herself and then

[Leon Nayfak]

lost everything in one of the most public racism scandals Britain has ever seen.

[Gracie Kanan]

It's a story of fame and a

[Leon Nayfak]

change of the conversation around cervical cancer forever.

[Gracie Kanan]

Follow British scandal wherever you get your podcasts or listen early and add free free on audible. So, Leon, when I got back into the trailer, I remember the vibe being surprisingly warm, like your private conversation had aired out some inhibitions and made you both more at ease, which was nice and kind of surprising.

[Leon Nayfak]

Well, so I remember in that moment, and I don't know, maybe this is what you were picking up on. I was trying to figure out whether I related to Gene or not, because, you know, he had been talking about how he felt stuck and that being in his 40s, it felt like his life was not over, but sort of done, changing. And on the one hand, you know, I'm also in my 40s, and there's all kinds of stuff I'm resigned to never doing or never doing again. Uh, but the main thing I was thinking was just how lucky I am. Not only because I'm married to someone I'm in love with, though that's a big one. But because my life doesn't feel over at all. Like, I live in New York, I have a bunch of dear friends. If I throw a party, people come. I just feel surrounded by possibility, and Gene just isn't. All he has is the Internet, and I guess it just feels unfair.

[Gracie Kanan]

Okay, well, now you're just bragging.

[Leon Nayfak]

I'm doing it to make a point. Which is, you know, maybe we need onlyfans, even if not all of us need onlyfans.

[Gracie Kanan]

Mm. Like, maybe everyone needs something and society as a whole is better off if more of us can get it.

[Leon Nayfak]

Yeah. And just because someone does get something from onlyfans doesn't mean that it defines them or that it's their only source of fulfillment. I'm curious, do you have other things that let you feel like you're experiencing things vicariously? Like, other than onlyfans, I don't know, is there other stuff in your life where you find that?

[Gene]

So, for the past 20 plus years, whenever I travel somewhere, I like to do a little research and kind of see if somebody notable is buried there. I'm a big mystery nut. I like to go visit historical sites, and I like to visit graves of famous people. So what I like about it is being able to go and locate somebody that has had such a footnote in history, whether you talk to them or you just see what their grave is like. I just like the idea of the personal connection. I mean, not to say it's like with Gracie or like with, with falling on OnlyFans, but I like the personal connection of you're pilgrimaging to somebody, you're taking your time out of your day, you're doing the research. I just like the fact of going out there, the peacefulness, the quiet of finding one, you know, and then you have like five minutes with somebody who did whatever. And being able to basically have a one on one with them is really kind of amazing for me.

[Leon Nayfak]

So maybe this is podcaster brain Gracie, but is it a stretch to say these pilgrimages Gene takes have something in common with the relationships he has formed on OnlyFans? Like it's not one to one, but also it's kind of the ultimate parasocial relationship, isn't it? It's this sort of reaching out across time and space to make a connection with someone that your normal life, your real life, would never otherwise connect you to.

[Gracie Kanan]

In this analogy, am I the corpse?

[Leon Nayfak]

You are.

[Gracie Kanan]

Oh, cool. No, I think you're onto something like at its best, the kind of digital intimacy you can buy on OnlyFans can expand your world. I mean, for a simple transaction, it lets you imagine and even experience a different life.

[Leon Nayfak]

My only other question was you were describing your friends who are in similar life stage as you, who have, who have various disappointments that they're grappling with in their own ways. You have your way, right? And I think we see it erupt in horrible ways all too often where people just become seemingly so angry and sort of driven mad by anger. I'm curious, like, what's the difference between someone who reacts with anger to the disappointment and the struggle that we're talking about and someone like you, who seemingly is not angry. Like, you don't come across as angry and you don't, you know, like what's, what's, what's going right with you, I guess. And is it all because of Gracie?

[Gene]

Well, I think what Gracie kind of represents for me is kind of like a muse type thing. But I think, at least in my experience, what you need to recognize is that you need to give yourself the grace you want to give other people partner upon you. I mean, you gotta give yourself the love and affection before you're able to really bestow it upon other people. And so once I stopped judging myself Harshly. Look, I used to be very cruel to myself. I mean, I ate a lot. I just did not take care of myself at all. And it was really passive suicidality, honestly. But once I started understanding what I need to do and changing my perspectives made a big difference for me.

[Gracie Kanan]

Was joining like the chat sites, like,

[Gene]

part of that journey? It was part of the self realization of who I actually am. Because again, you have an idea like, oh, I'm a good person, I do this, I do that. But then it's like, who are you really, though? And realizing this is actually a part of me and not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but something to kind of embrace. And one of the nice things about chatting with Gracie is I like writing. Writing is fun and I get to be creative when I write. And so along with that, it's like, what words come out? How am I feeling? You know, does she inspire me to say a certain thing? And so again, that's why I brought up the muse thing is that sometimes when you do get struck by such beauty, in certain ways, it does come out of you. And I think that's something that can also be applied to traveling and seeing the world and seeing natural wonder as well as seeing certain grave sites, because some of them are incredibly moving. So I think to get back to your question, I would say that you need to really learn more about who you are as a person and understanding that you can do things that are maybe morally complicated in our society. But that doesn't mean you're bad. It just means you're more complex.

[Gracie Kanan]

By this point, Leon and I had been talking to Jean in this trailer for almost three hours. And I noticed in those final moments, sitting next to Jean, that the nerves we'd had leading up to this meeting were long gone. And so was my apprehension that Jean would be disillusioned with the real me. In fact, it was kind of the opposite. Whatever mutual appreciation we'd found in our digital world was present and palpable throughout our in person meeting. It actually seemed like we felt more comfortable in reality than we had in our fantasy. Still, I was mentally fried. And not only that, I had to leave to attend a dear friend's wedding that same evening, which in this moment seemed ironic. After listening to a tale of a near doomed union, I felt like watching my friend walk down the aisle would be more like watching him walk the plank. I can't believe I have to go to a wedding after this.

[Gene]

Did I, like, drain you emotionally?

[Leon Nayfak]

No.

[Gracie Kanan]

Like, yes. But, like, not in a bad way. I'M like, I feel so, like. I don't know, I wasn't expecting to feel kind of mad.

[Gene]

Oh really? What do you mean?

[Gracie Kanan]

I feel kind of mad at like.

[Gene]

At what?

[Gracie Kanan]

I don't know. I just. I feel mad at men that are pigs. I just in the same way you said muse. I look at you, who has been through a lot of and who's chosen to be a good, smart, self aware person and I'm like pissed at other people that can't figure it out. You are your own problem and I am not your solution. And I feel like that's such a difference between you. It's like you're like, I am my own responsibility. There's no lightning bolt or only fans account that's gonna fix.

[Gene]

No, you're not gonna cure me by any means. That's not what it's about. You know, it's about just kinshipping about appreciation of other people. Yeah.

[Gracie Kanan]

So.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Gracie Kanan]

It's not for you to fix men. They need to fix themselves.

[Gene]

It's possible. We try. You might be.

[Gracie Kanan]

You might be helpful. I might be crying. Yeah. I mean I got so much other to do, you know, Laundry.

[Gene]

Gotta take care of engine. Yeah, Engine.

[Gracie Kanan]

I miss her. I'm excited to go back. Be good.

[Leon Nayfak]

You think so?

[Gracie Kanan]

Let's sit here in room town. Oh, hey, Leo. Sorry, I was like, I might as well be recording when we walk up.

[Leon Nayfak]

In January of 2026, Sam and I met up once again to visit Gracie at her apartment in Brooklyn. Except this time it was a different apartment. Gracie had just moved in. Let's see what this onlyfans money can buy.

[Gracie Kanan]

Hello.

[Audible Announcer]

Hello.

[Gracie Kanan]

Things are messy right now.

[Leon Nayfak]

Looks great.

[Gracie Kanan]

Yeah, I can give you a little tour.

[Leon Nayfak]

We had been working on this podcast together for the length of a pregnancy. And while our little podcast baby was gestating, a lot had changed for Gracie. About a month before our visit, Gracie and two of her closest friends had moved into a beautiful two story home.

[Gracie Kanan]

These are my roommates. Yeah, Sam, Leon.

[Leon Nayfak]

Nice to meet you too.

[Gracie Kanan]

They've been putting up with me for.

[Leon Nayfak]

Who are you talking about?

[Gracie Kanan]

Everyone. Everyone here puts up with me.

[Leon Nayfak]

As Gracie showed us around her new place, I didn't spot a cold plunge anywhere. But Gracie did show us some amenities that are just as impressive for a Brooklyn apartment.

[Gracie Kanan]

Yeah, we have a backyard that we haven't touched yet because it's win and like a washer dryer and a dishwasher, the non working fireplace. And doesn't this marble kitchen island look great for shooting some content? I think it rivals the creator's ink house.

[Gene]

What do you guys think?

[Leon Nayfak]

I think we made a deal.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Gracie Kanan]

And that's not gonna happen to make it when you guys aren't here, when you guys aren't gone.

[Audible Announcer]

No porn in the kitchen. What if it's.

[Gracie Kanan]

She's making cupcakes?

[Leon Nayfak]

That's what. Gracie took me and Sam up to the second floor of the house where her office content room is. It's where, as they say, the magic happens. And by magic, I mean it's where Gracie now makes all of her OnlyFans content. But it's also where she writes her comedy scripts and does self tape auditions for acting gigs and works on this podcast. As it happens, some of Gracie's subscribers helped her furnish the new office via her Amazon wish list.

[Gracie Kanan]

I did just get an like a hard drive and some closet organizers on my wish list, which sounds not sexy, but I love. And the subscriber knows I love. And he goes, you know, I love practical gifts to make your life better. Smiley face from. And then his name. And it's his actual name, so you could really. I'm not gonna say it. Yeah, I absolutely could.

[Leon Nayfak]

Gracie had just passed her one year onlyfans anniversary. She called it her fansiversary. And I wanted to have one last check in before we wrapped because back when we started, she was making side hustle money. She had under 100 subscribers. Nine months later, she had over 4,000. And as you heard in the previous episode, Gracie was struggling at first with that influx of new fans. But she was determined to take back control and become an even more professional girlfriend. So she created two OnlyFans pages. The free one that we talked about and a separate one for her VIPs. To manage all that, Gracie needed extra hands. So taking her lessons from months of talking to of agencies and managers, she hired a friend to do some admin for her. Gracie even printed out a badge for her with the title head of operations to make it official.

[Gracie Kanan]

I had her do kind of almost, how would you call it?

[Gene]

Intake.

[Gracie Kanan]

I had her do some intake messages. Consults, consulting. Yeah. And with. With like brand new people and kind of being like, who's promising, who's not? And she was like, actually, I think there's a way more efficient way that we can do this. And she used her background in politics and fundraising to be like, what we want to get you to do is make as much or more money with less effort.

[Leon Nayfak]

Gracie and her friend assistant came up with a system. When a new subscriber joins Gracie's free page. Her friend often sends out the initial hey, buddy, what are you doing here? Message. What? Gracie calls intake to suss out if the new subscriber is a show pussy guy, a gene, or someone in between. She then puts a specific emoji next to the new subscriber's name in Gracie's inbox so that Gracie then knows what kind of guy she's dealing with.

[Gracie Kanan]

Wolves are the highest ones, then dogs, then mice, then goose eggs. And those are people who haven't spent any. And then negative is pigs. So pigs are basically blocked, but I have kept them labeled in case we need negative messages for this podcast. Once this podcast is over, those pigs are going to be blocked.

[Leon Nayfak]

They're gonna be slaughtered.

[Gracie Kanan]

Yeah, yeah. Those pigs are gonna be sent to the slaughterhouse.

[Leon Nayfak]

So far, the system seems to be working. Gracie's been able to quit her day job and focus more of her time pursuing comedy.

[Gracie Kanan]

Now we're at kind of like a cruising altitude, which feels good. It's, it's. Without getting into specific numbers, it's about double, a little over double what I made at my day job.

[Leon Nayfak]

No shit.

[Gracie Kanan]

Yeah. But for a fraction of the time I was gonna ask like 25%, like I'm on of maybe two hours a day, if that, like five days a week.

[Leon Nayfak]

So now your day job was a full time engagement?

[Gracie Kanan]

Full time going in, you know, not bad, but not that. Which is. Yeah.

[Leon Nayfak]

How's that feel?

[Gracie Kanan]

I feel like a grown up for the first time. It's like I'm in my mid-30s now and I feel like I lived like a frat boy for 10 years here and then I just just skipped the line to adult. Feels nice.

[Leon Nayfak]

And is that, was that, was that made possible by OnlyFans?

[Gracie Kanan]

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I think the thing I'm the most surprised by is how I feel so calm. You, you tell yourself for so long that you know, I just gotta muscle through. It's fine. This is part of it and it is in a way, but you have to tell yourself all of these things to muscle through and like eat beans and rice and cut all these corners and do all this stuff. And then you arrive to a place of stability and you're like, oh my God, money can buy peace, if not happiness, then peace. Yeah, yeah, money can definitely buy more calm.

[Leon Nayfak]

You think putting dollar figures on your time and attention has clued you into, like, what those things are actually worth?

[Gracie Kanan]

Absolutely, absolutely. Because it is very hard to quantify how someone should treat you and what they should say to you. Or how much time you can make for them, how much affection. It is very hard to quantify affection and energy. And when you do start putting a dollar figure on it and you can feel, oh, this, this feels like a good amount for what I'm giving. Oh, this feels. Not like I'm saying relationships should be tit for tat and should be transactional. But there have been a lot of times since starting of where I say, well, what is this relationship doing for me? I'm talking to this goose egg, you know what I mean? I'm talking to this pig. This pig. Yeah. I'm talking to this person who isn't giving me any money and is in fact saying derogatory things to me. Why am I giving them any of my energy when I could be giving this other person my energy who fills me up. It's like strengthened my gut in. Okay, this doesn't feel good. This feels good. And then you take that gut feeling into the real world and it really helps you navigate. Okay, what am I worth? I'm not going to let this person talk to me like this. It's really like so many relationships around us, whether we want to admit it or not or whether we want to use this word, are transactional. And I think realizing that to some degree is actually a good thing and is actually very freeing. You know, like, not everyone's gonna have a high roi.

[Leon Nayfak]

I guess I wouldn't be mad if my daughter went through that and came out of it with that takeaway confidence. Yeah, well, gained confidence. Gained a sense of her worth.

[Gracie Kanan]

I mean, I broke up or I ended something with like two days before New Year's. Nice enough person, but I was like, you're not a vip. You know, I mean, I didn't say that, but it's just like you're, you know, you're. You're a dog, but you're not a wolf. You're not a wolf. Yeah, you're. And, and honestly, to be in my life, you know, you got to be a vip.

[Leon Nayfak]

Wolves only.

[Gracie Kanan]

Wolves only. This is a wolf only zone. Yeah. And so it's like mice, cool. Dogs, cool. You know, but that. Yeah, so that's a really weird thing. And it's like for the first time in a while, I'm going into 20, 26, and in my own romantic life, I'm feeling like I know my worth and that I'm open to authenticity and I won't be scared of it. And it is really weird to think that a proportional chunk of that might have come from of.

[Leon Nayfak]

I love that. Yeah, maybe it's that simple. We're all a bunch of dogs out there looking for wolves and doing our best to figure out who's who.

[Gracie Kanan]

So, Leon, do you get the feeling there's something going on that you now do know about?

[Leon Nayfak]

Thank you. Thank you for the the diner callback. Yes. Pretty girl on a horse. I get why she's there. That's actually the top emoji. Pretty girl on a horse.

[Gracie Kanan]

Pretty girl on a wolf.

[Leon Nayfak]

Yeah, that's you. That's you. You're the pretty girl and a wolf.

[Gracie Kanan]

I wonder what's after wolves. Do you. Do you think it should be horses or rainbows? Maybe rain Shooting Star.

[Leon Nayfak]

Only fantasy was produced by audible and prologue projects. The show was hosted by me, leon

[Gracie Kanan]

nayfak and me, gracie kanan.

[Leon Nayfak]

Our supervising producer was sam lee. Our editor was diane hodson.

[Gracie Kanan]

The show was produced by dustin desoto with additional production by betsy shepard. Audio mix by erica wong. Our theme song and score were composed by billy libby. Our fact checker was annika robbins. The head of audible original north america is marshall louie. The head of creative development at audible is kate navin. The chief content officer is rachel gyazza.

[Leon Nayfak]

Executive producers for audible were laura regan kleinschmidt, jules henderson and heather juan tesorero. Special thanks to our intern, michaela delgado, julian collette, carlotta champagne, brianna coppage, cherie deville, adam grandmason, brian gross, mikayla krass, valentina tm good studio digital island studios steven fisher at underground alexia bedat and akshay naglakurti at claris law, brandon butler and peter yassi at yassi butler pllc, lisa de leon and jennifer valdez at bell co. And everyone at audible. Copyright 2026 by prologue projects sound recording copyright 2026 by audible originals, llc. Listen to Only Fantasy on the Audible app or wherever you get your podcasts. Audible subscribers can binge all episodes of Only Fantasy early and ad free right now. Join Audible in the Audible app or by subscribing on Apple Podcasts.

[Audible Announcer]

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