Super Soul Special: Timothy Shriver: Fully Alive, Discovering What Matters Most

Summary

Oprah’s Super Soul Special: Timothy Shriver – "Fully Alive, Discovering What Matters Most"

Release Date: February 11, 2026
Host: Oprah Winfrey
Guest: Timothy Shriver

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Episode Overview

In this deeply personal and inspiring episode, Oprah sits down with Timothy Shriver, president of the Special Olympics and member of the Kennedy family, to explore the true meaning of being “fully alive.” Shriver reflects on his memoir, his family’s legacy, and how living with vulnerability, embracing one’s weaknesses, and shifting toward unconditional love can lead us closer to purpose and soul-fulfillment. The conversation weaves together family history, spiritual lessons, and the transformative power of service, particularly as learned through individuals with intellectual disabilities.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Impact of Family Legacy and Vulnerability

• Timothy’s background: Growing up in the famous Kennedy family instilled in him both ambition and the constant pressure to achieve.
• He describes the competitive atmosphere:

  “Very competitive and, you know, earning all the time, your stripes and trying harder … But still tough.” (07:15, Timothy Shriver)

• The presence of his aunt Rosemary, born with intellectual disabilities, shaped the family’s understanding of love and worth, challenging the notions of achievement and value.

Rosemary Kennedy: Love Without Earning

• Rosemary’s influence:
  • Her disability was kept secret for most of her life, and her family struggled to fit her into their high-achieving dynamic.
  • Despite not being a public figure or “accomplished” by traditional standards, her presence was central.
  • Shriver credits Rosemary with teaching the family—and him—the radical lesson that worth is inherent, not earned:

    “She didn’t have to do anything to prove that she mattered or that she was worthy.” (07:40, Oprah)

  • On the family’s journey from shame to love:

    “You have these equal powers of shame and love. In the end, I think the love wins, but not before a lot of pain comes along.” (08:57, Tim Shriver)

Special Olympics: Lessons in Joy and Vulnerability

• What athletes teach: Tim shares how Special Olympics athletes demonstrate vulnerability, humility, joyous presence, and unconditional trust in striking ways.

  “It’s all about leaving it all on the court … The fun that comes from not being inhibited.” (04:11, Tim Shriver)

  • The concept that “there’s a little bit of Special Olympics in all of us” underscores universal shared vulnerability and the human desire to cross our life’s finish lines with joy (05:00–05:27).

• Transformative moment: Athletes model strength in vulnerability—and community over competition—challenging expectations of shame and pity.

  “There is only power in vulnerability and trust. The other power is superficial. It locks people up.” (23:32, Tim Shriver)

Redefining Winning and Bravery

• The iconic Special Olympics moment: In 1968, a runner helped a fallen peer finish a race instead of winning alone—spotlighting new definitions of victory, character, and human connection:

  “[He] turns around … says instead, ‘My fallen friend is the priority right now.’ … And they cross the finish line together.” (25:17, Tim Shriver)

• The athlete oath:

  “Let me win. But if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt.” (27:18, Oprah quoting Eunice Shriver)

• Bravery and grit: Shriver discusses the importance of perseverance, resilience in the face of failure, and the need for these lessons in schools and life.

Processing Grief and Transforming Pain

• Kennedy family’s unspoken rule:

  “We don’t talk about that. Move on. Move on.” (16:13, Tim Shriver)

• The suppression of grief and vulnerability can lead to disconnectedness and suffering.

  “If you get grief wrong, you get a lot of things wrong.” (16:40, Oprah)

  • “If you don’t transform it, you will transmit it.” (18:58, Tim Shriver)

Spiritual Seeking and Personal Practice

• Tim’s spiritual journey:
  • Service and silence as core practices; Shriver meditates and attends Mass regularly.
  • Real spiritual realization came when he saw “into the eyes of another person’s soul” and recognized the divine presence (34:51).
• Definition of God:

  “My definition of God expanded when I saw into the eyes of another person's soul and felt like I was in the presence of God…” (34:51, Tim Shriver)

• On the human experience:

  “I think we’re here to learn, to love unconditionally … we are united.” (36:41, Tim Shriver)

  • He describes death as a return to unity and boundless life:

    “Relax, all will be well. All is well.” (37:20, Tim Shriver)

The Key to Being Fully Alive

• Embracing imperfections and self-worth:
  • The greatest freedom is to become “unafraid of the judgment of others.” (32:31, Tim Shriver)
  • The lesson that “I matter, regardless of what I do” is the hardest but most essential to internalize, especially coming from a family that prized achievement (36:04–36:09).
• Honoring one’s calling and living from the heart
  • Special Olympics became Tim’s “school of the heart,” teaching him to follow intuition and service, which he recognizes as dangerous but rewarding (33:32).

  • “Your gut’s always leading you to God.” (34:13, Oprah)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On unconditional worth:

  “She didn’t have to do anything to prove that she mattered.” (07:40, Oprah about Rosemary)

• On grief:

  “If you get grief wrong, you get a lot of things wrong.” (16:40, Oprah)
  “If you don’t transform it, you will transmit it.” (18:58, Tim Shriver)

• On vulnerability:

  “There is only power in vulnerability and trust. The other power is superficial.” (23:32, Tim Shriver)

• On courage:

  “Let me win. But if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt.” (27:18, Eunice Kennedy Shriver, via Oprah)

• On the search for approval:

  “I think you miss out on one big thing, which is that you’re already valuable.” (13:17, Tim Shriver)

• On unity and love:

  “We’re not separate. And as soon as we get close to that ... that’s why we’re here.” (36:41, Tim Shriver)

• On honoring the soul:

  “The practice of fully alive is silence and service … recognizing that you are more beautiful than you dare imagine.” (32:31, Tim Shriver)

• On spiritual realization:

  “My definition of God expanded when I saw into the eyes of another person's soul and felt like I was in the presence of God...” (34:51, Tim Shriver)

• On following your intuition:

  “Your gut’s always leading you to God.” (34:13, Oprah)

• On enoughness:

  “I think the lesson that I matter, regardless of what I do.” (36:04, Tim Shriver)

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Key Timestamps

• [03:08] Shriver on his path to “discovering what really matters, being fully alive”
• [04:11] The joy and vulnerability taught by Special Olympics athletes
• [07:40] The lesson of inherent worth from Rosemary Kennedy
• [13:17] Oprah and Tim discuss growing up under pressure to achieve
• [16:13] “Unspoken rule” about grief in the Kennedy family
• [18:58] “If you don’t transform it, you will transmit it”
• [21:24] Why the world fears difference and how the Special Olympics challenges that
• [25:17] The 1968 first Special Olympics race—an iconic story of compassion over competition
• [27:18] The Special Olympics athlete oath
• [32:31] The practice of being fully alive: silence and service
• [34:51] Shriver’s evolving definition of God
• [36:04] The lesson of mattering regardless of achievement
• [37:20] Reflections on life after death—unity and peace

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Final Takeaways

This episode is a gentle but powerful meditation on the meaning of life, the value of vulnerability, and the spiritual growth that comes from service, love, and embracing our shared humanity. Shriver and Oprah invite listeners to step away from competitive, achievement-based definitions of worth and to instead see themselves and others as inherently whole, valuable, and connected. For anyone questioning what truly matters, this conversation offers profound wisdom: to be “fully alive” is less about what you accomplish and more about how bravely and authentically you love.

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Recommended for listeners seeking:

• Inspiration about purpose and meaning
• Affirmation of worth beyond achievement
• Stories of spiritual and personal transformation
• Insights on grief, vulnerability, and authentic service

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End of Summary

Transcript

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[Timothy Shriver]

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[Oprah Winfrey]

I'm Oprah Winfrey. Welcome to Super Soul Conversations, the podcast. I believe that one of the most valuable gifts you can give yourself is time. Taking time to be more fully present. Your journey to become more inspired and connected to the deeper world around us starts right now. Timothy is the third of Eunice Kennedy and Sergeant Shriver's five children. His older sister, Maria, has been a close friend of mine for over 30 years now. Growing up in the Kennedy family, his uncles were President Kennedy, Senators Bobby and Ted Kennedy. Tim felt the pressure to achieve yet of all of his mother's famous siblings, Tim believes his aunt Rosemary was perhaps the most extraordinary. Born with an intellectual disability, Tim says Rosemary's presence in the family changed everything. In 1968, Eunice launched the first ever Special Olympics at Chicago's Soldier Field. Tim watched his mother change how society views intellectual disabilities while leading the Special Olympics with grace and grit. In 1996, Tim carried on her legacy and became president. Tim's mission is to bring service, empathy and tenderness to individuals with disabilities around the world. In his recent memoir, Tim writes, we need to embrace our weaknesses, live without judgment and redefine what it means to win in order to feel fully alive. So tell me how you came to Obviously, I've known your family for years. Maria and I became friends when we were both young reporters in Baltimore. I've been to events at your home, adored your parents.

[Timothy Shriver]

Thank you.

[Oprah Winfrey]

And you know, know a little bit about this big life that you lived. How is it that you come to write something as really profound as discovering what really matters, being fully alive?

[Timothy Shriver]

Well, I think in some ways, you know, I was programmed to search. I don't I didn't choose it. It shows me, you know, from the time I can remember, I was always wondering. And I think now, more recently, as I. As I lived more and more in the world of people with enormous vulnerabilities, I kept thinking to myself, these people understand something about life, about authenticity, about vulnerability that I keep trying to share with the world because it's making such a difference to me, and I never can find the words. And so the book just. I had to write it. I had to try to capture this unconditional love, openness, trust that came to me from these folks who had such unlikely stories of brilliance and wisdom.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Brene Brown was really one of the first teachers on Super Soul Sunday to talk about vulnerability, and she wrote a book called Daring Greatly. I want to know what specifically the Special Olympics athletes have taught you personally about the value of vulnerability.

[Timothy Shriver]

I think, for me, it's all about leaving it all on the court. I mean, the athletes taught me, you know, the fun that comes from not being inhibited, you know. But most people, you know, think fun and soul are two different things. The soul unleashes.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Fun is really living directly from your soul.

[Timothy Shriver]

From your soul.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Timothy Shriver]

Going into that space of freedom and going, wow. So they taught me that. They taught me humility and simplicity. They taught me trust. I mean, you know, trusting the world with your dreams is scary for most of us. But these athletes taught me, even if you get disappointed, even if the world doesn't come through for you, do it again.

[Oprah Winfrey]

And one of the things that you really. That gave me an aha. You were saying, there's a little bit of Special Olympics in all of us. There's a little bit of that, Gee, I have my weaknesses, I have my vulnerabilities, but every one of us wants to be able to cross the finish line of whatever hurdle we're going through in our own lives with that same kind of joy to be, same kind of love of what you're doing, that same kind of being in the moment.

[Timothy Shriver]

I think to be open about the things inside of you that hurt, that cause you pain, that you are ashamed of. The corrosive effect of holding in your pain, of trying to hide it, I think is the worst suffering you can have.

[Oprah Winfrey]

And you write so beautifully about that.

[Timothy Shriver]

Thank you.

[Oprah Winfrey]

About your Aunt Rosemary.

[Timothy Shriver]

Yeah.

[Oprah Winfrey]

For whom the whole family held this shame. Tim's Aunt Rosemary was the third of Joseph and Rose Kennedy's nine children, after older brothers Joe and Jack. Rosemary was born with intellectual disabilities, which the Kennedys kept a secret. From the world. For most of her lifetime, Rosemary's disability was not obvious to strangers. As a teenager, she attended dances and concerts. But by her early 20s, the family says, she had become irritable and difficult to control. Without telling his wife or children, Joseph Kennedy scheduled a lobotomy for his oldest daughter. The lobotomy had devastating consequences, leaving Rosemary unable to care for herself. The family moved Rosemary to a Catholic institution in Wisconsin, where she lived until she died in 2005 at the age of 86. Do you remember how you first came to hear about her?

[Timothy Shriver]

You know, Rosemary was in our house by the time I was a child. You know, she would come regularly to visit. I can remember thinking to myself, she comes here unlike everybody else. Everybody else, we sort of have to prove ourselves. You know, everybody else was a senator or a TV star or a CEO or a Nobel prize winner, because, to.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Say the least, you grew up in a competitive family.

[Timothy Shriver]

Very competitive and, you know, earning all the time, your stripes and trying harder and, you know, with a lot of humor.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Yes.

[Timothy Shriver]

And a lot of joy and a lot of tenderness, but still tough.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Yeah.

[Timothy Shriver]

And then here's Rosemary, and she walked in the house, and she didn't have to do anything. Everybody loved her. And you didn't have to do anything for her. And she'd sit with you and talk to you, play games, swim, walk. No urns.

[Oprah Winfrey]

So she didn't have to do anything. I love that she didn't have to do anything to prove that she mattered.

[Timothy Shriver]

That's it.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Or that she was worthy.

[Timothy Shriver]

And that's to the extent any one of us learns that. I think you have the. We have the key, the first steps in feeling fully alive and feeling really that our souls are free.

[Oprah Winfrey]

I love what you say because this feels in many ways like a love letter to your Aunt Rosemary.

[Timothy Shriver]

Would you say that it's a love letter to her? It's a thank you letter to her. It's, you know, you're still with us letter to her.

[Oprah Winfrey]

And I love when you say she's a woman who never gave a speech or wrote a book or held a job, and for a Kennedy, that's a pretty big deal. Yeah, Yeah.

[Timothy Shriver]

I think she taught her brothers and sisters this enormously powerful lesson, which is that, you know, there's some things you can earn in life, and then there's some things that are just given to you. And I think her mother and father told their brothers and sisters, take care of Rosemary, include Rosemary. And when they did that through that long growing up period that they had Rosemary with them, they, I think, discovered that, you know, when you get asked to give yourself to someone else, you get something wonderful in return.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Was there a shame at first about her?

[Timothy Shriver]

I think her family struggled to how does this child fit in? We want our daughter to matter just like the other children, but the world doesn't necessarily understand or treat or accept her. So, you know, you have these equal powers of shame and love. In the end, I think the love wins, but not before a lot of pain comes along.

[Oprah Winfrey]

I like when you wrote that the shame and vulnerability of intellectual disability was our family secret, that even those of us within the family and barely understood. Why do you say you barely understood it?

[Timothy Shriver]

Well, because I think in some ways, we thought of intellectual disability as a cause. And it was only when, at least for me, I spent more time in silence and reflecting, that I started to see intellectual disability as a part of who we were, as shame, as a part of who we were, as vulnerability. I mean, we spend a lot of time as a family. Most of us in all of our family spend a lot of time proving that we're not vulnerable. We think that if we're not vulnerable, we'll be more valuable. I came to understand that in our family, it was this vulnerability that Rosemary invited us into that was a whole source of value that I really had never really fully internalized. To be open, to be vulnerable.

[Commercial Announcer]

No.

[Oprah Winfrey]

You know, only when, after reading this book, did I come to really understand how everything has its own divine reasoning. Always.

[Timothy Shriver]

Always.

[Oprah Winfrey]

And that in your family, this family of politicians and stars and competition constantly, that Rosemary, you call her, was the most radical, literally the most radical member of the family, and that she was there as an offering, her soul was an offering for the rest of the family.

[Timothy Shriver]

If I were saying the hand of God was there, I think she saved us all to find ourselves conquered by love. I mean, this is a beautiful expression of St. Teresa, which I love. In silence, we are conquered by love. In vulnerability, we are conquered by love. I think Rosemary was the person who invited us all to not just be conquered by power and influence and money and fame.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Often called American royalty, the Kennedy family is one of the most influential in US History, born into a prestigious legacy that includes an American president, senators, war heroes, and public servants. Tim Shriver says that along with wealth and power also came enormous expectations. Tim says his family shared a restless to achieve, compete, and win in all areas of life. But from an early age, Tim says he felt a yearning for something more, a longing to find his place among the great Kennedy Names and a hunger to discover what really matters most. How big was that pressure in your family?

[Timothy Shriver]

I think my parents held ambition in good tension with love. But there was a lot of ambition and there was a lot of demands. And we thought if we did things that were big, we'd be more valuable.

[Oprah Winfrey]

I can tell you. I remember being at the breakfast table at your house. I had to be like in my early 20s. And I remember like all the cereals lined up on the table and sitting there and your father asking everybody, what had they done? What had they accomplished? What did they. And I was like, oh my God. Question gets around to me, what am I gonna say? Yeah, yeah, what am I gonna say? And I felt that from one day being in the house was that always, always like beginning in the morning, you write that beginning with it's a race, a race to who could get to the breakfast table on time, who can.

[Timothy Shriver]

Do the best, who can get the best grades, who can get on the best team, who can win the biggest trophy, who can get to sleep and get the most rest. There was a scoreboard in that house which was, you know, I mean, I don't want to make it sound too horrible because as I say, we had a lot. There was a lot of love in our family and my parents were enormously generous and.

[Oprah Winfrey]

But when you grow up with a scoreboard, do you always feel like you're having to measure up to whatever?

[Timothy Shriver]

I think you miss out on one big thing which is that you're already valuable. I think you can get like religion does this to people too. You know, you start to think, well, God is the person whose love I need to earn.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Yeah. When God is just already there. God is already there waiting on you.

[Timothy Shriver]

I mean that didn't. You know, it's so obvious, I suppose. But God is already there. You've already got it, you know, you don't have to earn God's love. That's the starting point, not the ending point. And I missed that. I missed that lesson until a lot. A couple of people just kept bringing me up short and inviting me into a deeper soul sense.

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[Oprah Winfrey]

You know, I thought it was interesting that you wrote in Fully alive, discovering what matters most about the unspoken rule you learned as a child. When it came to grief and loss, how did that shape really what you believe? First of all, tell me what the unspoken rule was.

[Timothy Shriver]

So the unspoken rule was we don't talk about that. Move on. Move on. And I think every child grows up, not just my family. There's a lot of loss around. You can't miss it. I mean, we think we hide it from our children, but the children see it.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Yeah.

[Timothy Shriver]

And if you don't have any tools to channel it, I mean, I think if you get grief wrong, you get a lot of things wrong in life.

[Oprah Winfrey]

That's a tweetable moment.

[Timothy Shriver]

If you get grief wrong, you get a lot of things wrong. You hide from a lot of pain. You hide from a lot of frustration. You hide, hide, hide and in my family, of all the gifts we had, that wasn't one of them. We didn't really know how. I didn't feel like I learned how to face grief and transform it.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Yeah.

[Timothy Shriver]

So a lot of it just kept getting bottled up.

[Oprah Winfrey]

You know what's really stunning to me? Maria and I were having a overnight girls talk slumber party, slumber party one time, and it was around November 22, something I was saying, gee, this must be a really hard time for you. Must be a hard time for your family. And she said, and this maybe was seven, eight, nine years ago. She said, we never talk about that. We never talked about that. We never. Which is so shocking because I still remember the day President Kennedy was shot in Ms. Stagg's class school being let out, walking home in the rain by myself, that whole sense of thing. And every November, you know, around that date, I would think about it, talk about it, talk about it to other people. So it was shocking to me that it was.

[Timothy Shriver]

I was like, well, my mom just said, we want to move this celebration of Jack's life to his birthday in May.

[Oprah Winfrey]

And that was it. No talking about it.

[Timothy Shriver]

No talking. But on the other hand, you know, our house had hundreds of pictures, and most of the pictures are of people who weren't there. And, you know, there are pictures of her parents and her brothers, her sisters. So there was this, in a way, attempt to keep everybody alive, you know?

[Oprah Winfrey]

Yes. But what you write about in the book is that it wasn't just, you know, don't grieve about it. It's like. Because there are other people who are suffering.

[Timothy Shriver]

Yeah, get over it.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Get over it.

[Timothy Shriver]

You know, everybody's in heaven, and the children who are starving to death are much worse off than you. And get on to yourself. Move on. Hurry up. Get going now. Yeah, get back in the game. You know, get back in the game. This is the way we did it. There's some strength in that. I don't want to completely say that there's no value in that, but I think we have to be honest. And good religion, good spirituality is honest about pain.

[Oprah Winfrey]

But I am telling you what you just said, you know, the tweetable moment. If you don't deal with the grief, it comes out in every other area.

[Timothy Shriver]

If you don't transform it, you will transmit it.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Yeah.

[Timothy Shriver]

And I think learning how to express grief, to move through it, to internalize both the pain and the healing, make it a real process of growth and change. I think if you don't get that right, you don't get the big question in life, right? Which is, why am I here and what's gonna happen?

[Oprah Winfrey]

That's right. That's right. So I know you've been a Seeker. I didn't think of you as a Seeker, but you've been a Seeker for quite some time.

[Timothy Shriver]

Right. What did you think of me?

[Oprah Winfrey]

I don't know what I thought of you.

[Timothy Shriver]

Maria's little brother. Maria's little brother. He's doing something you. Oh, it's so cute, right?

[Oprah Winfrey]

No, I think of you as a grown up who's running Special Olympics.

[Timothy Shriver]

Yeah, yeah. No, I know. Well, the thing is, when you think of something like Special Olympics, people tend to think of it as that sweet, you know. That's nice.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Oh, isn't that good?

[Timothy Shriver]

That's so good. And there's the little kids having nice time, and everybody smiles and pinch their cheeks and take their pictures. But it's not. It's a revolutionary movement. It's a movement of the spirit that is kind of an unbridled challenge to the world. You know, it's. If you look at a child who's 12 years old with down syndrome and believe, really believe in your heart that that child is as beautiful as any human being on Earth, you gotta change everything.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Yeah. So now you are running Special Olympics. You are it.

[Timothy Shriver]

I'm being run by it. It's a great, huge, wonderful global movement being run by the most caring, compassionate, loving human beings on the planet. Millions of them, all over the world.

[Oprah Winfrey]

And tell me this. You know, I talk a lot about honoring your calling. When did you know that this is what you were called to do and not just something your mother would want you to do?

[Timothy Shriver]

Yeah. Well, I think when I. When I. Probably when I was 16 years old, I ran a Special Olympics event in high school, which I did because my mother told me I should.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Yeah.

[Timothy Shriver]

And I didn't want to do this. You know, I felt like I'd lose myself if I was in a family business. And to some extent, you know, that was a risk. But I came back to Special Olympics when I was a little older, a little stronger, a little more centered, a little more present to who I was.

[Oprah Winfrey]

And knew what you wanted, and I.

[Timothy Shriver]

Knew what I wanted. And I wanted to make Special Olympics into a school of the heart. And I wanted to share that story because I felt like it had given that to me. It had given me back my heart.

[Oprah Winfrey]

What is it about Special Olympians? Why is it that going into that space for some people makes them so uncomfortable?

[Timothy Shriver]

Well, I think we're all afraid. Think of who these people are. You know, they're not smart by traditional definitions. They're not rich by traditional definitions. They're not pretty by traditional definitions. They're not successful. They sometimes look sick by traditional definitions. They're all the things we don't want.

[Oprah Winfrey]

We're afraid of that we fear.

[Timothy Shriver]

We fear. Nobody wakes up in the morning saying, I wish that for anybody. So a lot of people go, well, I'm sorry that happened to you. One mother told me she had three sons. Two work at big investment banks and the other has a severe intellectual disability. And she says, every time people ask me about my sons, I tell them about my oldest, who's in New York. I tell them about the second one, who's in Chicago. Then I tell them about Christophe, who's at home. Well, I have to get out of bed every morning. And they always say to me, I'm sorry. And she said to me, tim, your life's work is to tell them to stop saying that about my son. She said, that boy is the light of my life. And everyone thinks that I should be afraid, that I should be sorry that I have this boy and he is magic. So we're afraid of all that. You know, we're just, you know, we don't know what to say. If you have a baby, you know, what's the first question you ask a doctor? Is the baby okay? Is baby. Sometimes the doctor says, no, baby's not okay. And your world goes crashing in, you know, like, what is this child? This child is not healthy. This child is not going to be what everybody thinks he should be.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Normal. Normal. Normal.

[Timothy Shriver]

The teacher tyranny of that word, you know, it's just like it's a cancer in the culture. Normal. Are you normal? Are you fitting in? Are you like everyone else? My God, it's terrifying. And yet we all feel that. So we come to these games expecting to be sad. We come to them expecting to feel pity. We say things like, there but for the grace of God go I. People say that? Well intentioned to me all the time.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Hold on a second. Tim's making me cry. Go ahead.

[Timothy Shriver]

What was I saying? So people come and they say, there but for the grace of God go I. And I always want to say to them, you know, that pity, that fear that. That embodies that I'm healthy and they're not. I think there's a strength in vulnerability that only vulnerability knows. You know, I think in some ways the whole Special Olympics gamble is, Is there a power in vulnerability and trust. And I think the answer of our athletes is there is only power in vulnerability and trust. The other power is superficial. It locks people up. It puts people behind bars. Social, cultural, political, interpersonal. There is only power. You know, I grew up, everybody's in a spotlight. That's where we all wanted to get to. You know, that's where you'd be successful. And what I saw was sometimes, you know, when the lights are the brightest, people feel the most invisible. I think sometimes where you think you want to go is not the place where you will find your most heartfelt, most meaningful, most purposeful life. I think sometimes it's in the places you think. I mean, I looked around thinking I wanted to be like all those people in lights. And I found myself happiest in places nobody wanted to be.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Okay. You know, one of the most amazing stories that you tell in the book and speaks to the heart of what it means to be a Special Olympian and what we can all learn is that game in 1968. And you describe that. Can you talk about that?

[Timothy Shriver]

So down on the field in 1968, at the first ever Special Olympics, when people with intellectual disabilities are still living in institutions in huge numbers. In fact, the institutions are still growing in 1968.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Can we just have a shout out to Ms. Eunice Shriver at this summit? Because.

[Timothy Shriver]

Because in that moment, in that moment when institutions are growing, when the federal government, state governments, local governments doing nothing, when parents are struggling with the most impressive kind of shame, the shame you cannot reveal, yeah. She says, let's create an event and call it Olympic. So you have the most forgotten, the most humble, the most stigmatized people on the planet. And she says, let's put it in Soldier Field. And so in that moment, she, together with these incredible volunteers, and they walk on that field and they say, well, let's run our races. And one of the races, which to this day no one knows quite who ran it, it's a one time round, the track, six athletes and starting gun goes. And the volunteers are on the sidelines cheering. And the athlete, they come around the back stretch and the athlete that's leading the race stumbles and falls and tumbles to the ground. And the athlete who's in second proceeds a pace or two and then stops. And the other four athletes continue to the finish line. But the athlete who stops and turns around in the middle of his moment says instead, my fallen friend is the priority right now is what matters most. And they get up and they cross the finish line together.

[Oprah Winfrey]

He goes back and picks up his fallen friend. And together they walk in as the.

[Timothy Shriver]

Everybody's cheering. And they come in last.

[Oprah Winfrey]

And they come in last.

[Timothy Shriver]

And they come in last. Or do they come in first? Yeah.

[Oprah Winfrey]

I like when you say, who really won that race?

[Timothy Shriver]

Who won that race?

[Oprah Winfrey]

Who won that race that day?

[Timothy Shriver]

That's. I mean, I think that's a lesson for all of us. We sit at our home and we wonder, what do I do to come in first? And I think this athlete told us.

[Oprah Winfrey]

I love what your mom wrote just before she was going to that game. Let me win. This is. It became the oath for the Special Olympics. Let me win. But if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt. How have those words actually become a guiding force in your own life?

[Timothy Shriver]

So if you just. If you closed your eyes, which I could do, and say just the second half, let me be brave. What do I need to trust the word? I think bravery is like, it's the source. It's the presence within you of a strong. You don't know you have. Let me be brave. I feel like somehow my mother knew that the secret of living fully alive, the secret of the soul, was to try to win, but more importantly, to be brave.

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[Timothy Shriver]

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[Timothy Shriver]

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[Oprah Winfrey]

And you also write that equally as important as bravery or courage is this quality of grit. Yes, this quality of having grit.

[Timothy Shriver]

We want to teach grit to children. We want to have grit ourselves. One of the things we've learned, I mean, the scholars teach us, is that grit comes from being undeterred. People with grit just focus. You know, they know where they want to go, and they stay at it. Yeah, but everybody fails, right? We all fail. And then the question is, why don't.

[Oprah Winfrey]

They teach us that in school? Everybody does that.

[Timothy Shriver]

We need the lessons of the heart, right? We need to tell children that this is an important part of life. We need to remind children that when you lose, you have a chance to win the next time you find a different part of yourself.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Yeah, but we need to know that for ourselves. I mean, I see our culture in particular, is so driven to win, win, win, win, win. So that when you don't win, or when you are third place, when you do fail, when you do fall down, people feel a sense of despair about it and feel like they can't go on, or feel like that that in some way defines their value, defines them.

[Timothy Shriver]

And then you become not just embarrassed about what you didn't do, but ashamed of who you are. But a lot of us wake up in the morning thinking, I'm not really doing what I want to do with my life, and I'm not really who I want to be, and there's something more to life than what I'm getting.

[Oprah Winfrey]

And the truth is, if you're not doing what you want to do or being who you want to be, then you're not fully alive.

[Timothy Shriver]

You're not fully alive.

[Oprah Winfrey]

In what way did writing this book, fully alive, discovering what matters, feel like a spiritual journey for you?

[Timothy Shriver]

To try to put words on what is wordless is. But it's a good exercise. It's a good attempt because it forces you to. It forced me. I kept diving into the journey, and I kept finding stories in my own memory, in my own soul. I remembered the story of Loretta Claiborne telling me, you know, you don't have to be intimidated.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Oh, tell us that story.

[Timothy Shriver]

So I'm racing around the office, and the governor is going to come into my office, and we were working hard to prepare for big games in New Haven. Six thousand people were coming, and the governor was going to come inspect everything. And I was tense and tight and screaming and barking and clean this up and move this around. And Loretta Claiborne, person with an intellectual challenge, child of the housing projects, and she's just sitting there helping out in the mailroom, and she watches me go by, and she says, you know, Tim, the governor puts his pants on in the morning, the same as you. And my first reaction was, you know, I know that. And then I just had that one gift of applause and. And I thought to myself, you know, she's trying to remind me that we're all in this together. You know, just relax.

[Oprah Winfrey]

You know, when I read that, I found that so striking because, my goodness, governors, you're raised in houses with presidents and senators and.

[Timothy Shriver]

Yeah, but we were Intimidated by all that. We wanted to be like. We wanted to impress. I wanted to impress him.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Uh huh.

[Timothy Shriver]

She was saying, don't worry about it.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Don't worry about that.

[Timothy Shriver]

Yeah, relax. He's coming to our world. This is, you know, she had the audacity to say, you know, you need to come to my world. And I'm thinking to myself, no, Loretta, we're trying to tell these people that we can get into their world, you know, that we belong in their world. And she's like, no, no, no, we're not. Their world is all messed up. Their world's about competition and greed and avarice. And they're all unsettled and stressed out. They should come to our world. Everybody counts, everybody belongs. I think she's, you know, she's a genius of the soul.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Yeah. What is the key to being fully alive? You talk a lot about our weaknesses and our pain.

[Timothy Shriver]

I think it's. I mean, the practice of fully alive is silence and service. I think the key, I think, is recognizing that you are more beautiful than you dare imagine. And that you have to be afraid of nothing in sharing yourself with the world. I think so much of our lives are centered in places where we don't feel fully alive because we're afraid. I think to be unafraid of the judgment of others is the greatest freedom you can have. And I think all great innovators, all great souls are people who were not afraid. They found, if you will, God's strength. They found trust and they became unafraid. I feel like I went into this experience thinking I would help the world. Found myself quite insignificant, something of a failure and struggling to figure out where I mattered.

[Oprah Winfrey]

You wanted to do what made you feel alive.

[Timothy Shriver]

Fully alive. Yeah. And I couldn't have articulated it, but intuitively I followed it, which is dangerous, you know, I can't say that's an easy recommendation to make. Just follow your gut. Although it's a good one. But sometimes your gut gets you. You know, it's hard. You know, you lose your job, you lose your income, you lose. You know, it can be difficult, but, you know, but your gut, you don't follow your guiding you, it's always gonna take you to the right place eventually. It's guiding you to God. It is, it is. God's guiding you to God. Did I say that? Oh, she said that. See, it's tweet competition. Tweet competition. I admit it. Anyway.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Your gut's always leading you to God.

[Timothy Shriver]

Yes, it's true.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Let's talk about your Personal soul practice. What is it?

[Timothy Shriver]

You know, I try to meditate at least once a day. I am a practicing Catholic. I go to mass every day that I can. Because for me, the sacramental presence, the idea of God within me is like something I just need to practice over and over again. But God and I can never get enough of it. I can't get enough of it. I just love it. I'm like one of the kids in a candy shop in church. I mean, I know it's weird. I know I sound like a goofball, but I love it.

[Oprah Winfrey]

What's your definition of God?

[Timothy Shriver]

My definition of God expanded when I saw into the eyes of another person's soul and felt like I was in the presence of God, where I wasn't on my knees, when I wasn't saying prayers, when I was looking at another person, all of a sudden I'm like, oh, my goodness, I'm looking at God. This is like I'm in the presence of the master, the creator, the energy of the universe.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Where do you feel most? At home or at peace?

[Timothy Shriver]

I have a little chapel in my house, which is gorgeous.

[Oprah Winfrey]

You built a chapel?

[Timothy Shriver]

Well, I didn't build it. I just took a Roman, turned it into a chapel.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Yeah. So it's like your prayer room?

[Timothy Shriver]

Yeah. Oh, no, it's a chapel. It's got the altar in it.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Oh, it's a chapel.

[Timothy Shriver]

Statues and kneelers and all kind of crazy things. Candles. Yeah. No, I have a chapel.

[Oprah Winfrey]

You have a chapel in your house?

[Timothy Shriver]

I have a chapel, yeah. It's fabulous. I recommend it.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Oh, it's great.

[Timothy Shriver]

Yeah. I think people's homes need to be places of prayer. I mean, you know, to be in prayer is to be open to the world for me.

[Oprah Winfrey]

So what's the lesson that's taken you the longest to learn?

[Timothy Shriver]

I think it's the same lesson that I matter, regardless of what I do.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Regardless of how many tweetable moments you have.

[Timothy Shriver]

No matter how many tweetable moments, if this show is a bomb, if you walk off the set and go over there and go, wow, that was a loser, call Marie and say, I like him, but the show sucked.

[Oprah Winfrey]

But you know it didn't.

[Timothy Shriver]

Yeah, I know, but I'm okay. I mean, I. That's a hard lesson for me to learn. I still want to be good on the show. I still want to be good in life. I still want to write a book that people like. You know, I still want to be liked. That's hard for me to trust that I don't have to do that.

[Oprah Winfrey]

So why do you think we're all here? What do you think the reason for this human experience?

[Timothy Shriver]

I think we were here. We're put here to learn, to love unconditionally, every fiber and sinew in our bodies and in the universe. I think we're here for the glory of the idea that we are united. You know, I think we think we're all divided. Like, I think, you know, like, you sit here thinking you're not the same as me, and I think I'm not the same as you're. Like, we're separate and it's a lie. It's a lie. We're not separate. And as soon as we get close to that, as soon as we trust that, that's why we're here.

[Oprah Winfrey]

That's why we're here. So what do you think happens when we die then?

[Timothy Shriver]

I think we rise up into this gigantic, glorious sense of life where we're. Where we can see clearly. I think eternal life is as obvious and present to me as these trees. I have no doubt that my mother and father are right around here and all my friends and cousins and, and children who I've put into the ground. And I think they're all right here just bursting with the life energy. And I think they're inviting me to say, relax, all will be well. All is well.

[Oprah Winfrey]

That all will be well. Thank you, Timothy Shriver.

[Timothy Shriver]

Thank you, Oprah.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Thank you. Perfect. Perfect.

[Timothy Shriver]

Best I can do.

[Oprah Winfrey]

That's really good.

[Timothy Shriver]

Thanks.

[Oprah Winfrey]

Hey, you did your best.

[Timothy Shriver]

I did my best. I did my best. I did my best. That was good.

[Oprah Winfrey]

I'm Oprah Winfrey and you've been listening to Super Soul Conversations, the podcast. You can follow Super Soul on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. If you haven't yet, go to Apple Podcasts and subscribe. Rate and review this podcast. Join me next week for another Super Soul conversation. Thank you for listening.

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[Commercial Announcer]

Ask your doctor about evgliss and visit evgliss.lily.com or call 1-800-lillyrx or 1-800-545-5979. Hi, I'm Kaitlin Coleman, winner of Target's HBCU Design Challenge. This challenge moved me closer to my dream of becoming a fashion designer through mentorship and support. You can find my design, along with creations from other Black founders in Target's Black History Month collection.