3321: 5 Things That Happen When You Stop Buying S*** You Don’t Need by Sarah Von Bargen on Spending with Intention

Summary

Episode Summary: 5 Things That Happen When You Stop Buying S*** You Don’t Need

Podcast: Optimal Finance Daily
Host: Diania Merriam
Author: Sarah Von Bargen
Episode: 3321
Date: October 18, 2025

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Overview

In this episode, host Diania Merriam narrates Sarah Von Bargen’s insightful piece from Yes and Yes.org: “5 Things That Happen When You Stop Buying S*** You Don’t Need.” The episode explores the personal and practical benefits of intentional spending. Through storytelling and candid examples, listeners are encouraged to reevaluate impulse buying and align purchases with what truly brings value, pleasure, and improvement to their lives.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Truth About Unnecessary Purchases

• Clutter & Regret:
  The episode opens with a relatable look at neglected closets and drawers filled with barely-used items—clothing with tags, unnecessary gadgets, and impulse cosmetics.
• Personal Confession:
  Sarah shares her own transformation: “For a huge swath of my life, I bought shit that I didn’t need. Like, lots of it. But one day, after my second Goodwill drop-off in as many weeks, I took a long hard look at my spending habits and decided things needed to change.” (03:25)

Defining “Need”

• A Practical, Joyful Lens:
  Instead of an austere definition limited to essentials, Sarah advocates for a broader approach:

  "Let's define something you need as something that is frequently used, actively improves your life, or brings you joy. But I bet this definition wasn't really necessary. I imagine you know what it looks like and how it feels when you buy something you don't need." (04:45)

• Self-awareness Cues:
  • The “icky” feeling from unnecessary purchases.
  • The bliss of buying something that brings genuine happiness.

The 5 Things That Happen When You Stop Buying S*** You Don’t Need

1. You Have More Money

   • Beyond obvious savings, this frees up funds for outsourcing unpleasant tasks (like taxes or cleaning), addressing stress (therapy, healthcare), enjoying life experiences (travel, family milestones), or charitable giving.
   • “You have more money for a therapist or the not-covered-by-insurance treatments that make you feel better and happier.” (06:12)

2. You Have More Time

   • Reduced unnecessary work hours, overtime, or side hustles mean more space for relaxation, hobbies, and time with loved ones.
   • "When we stop buying things we don’t need, we have more money left over at the end of the month, which means we can work less." (06:54)

3. You Feel Better About Yourself

   • Eliminating overspending reduces guilt, regret, and frustration about personal finances.
   • “Do you get a sinking feeling when you look at your bank account statement? … When we stop buying things we don’t need, we stop feeling that way.” (07:30)

4. You Feel Better About Your Space

   • Less clutter, fewer regrettable purchases, and a home filled only with what you love and use.
   • “When we use things up before we buy more, when we buy things because we truly want them, our spaces become happy, light and fun.” (08:06)

5. You Trust Yourself More

   • Reforming shopping habits restores confidence and a sense of control.
   • “You can walk into Target knowing you're only going to walk out with things you truly need and want. You no longer have a Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde relationship with sales racks.” (08:37)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On redefining need:
  “I have two pets, two teenage stepsons, and hardwood floors. Yes, I do actually need a $350 robot vacuum that cleans while I do other things. I also need my beautiful coffee mug, my multiple sets of satin pajamas, and weekly bouquets from Trader Joe’s. I don’t, however, need the skirt that was on sale but doesn’t quite fit.” (05:22)

• On the emotional toll of regretful spending:
  “Is it fun to look at the Vitamix you couldn’t afford and never use? Nope. Want to recline against the throw pillows that are currently accruing 18% interest on a credit card? Probably not.” (08:03)

• On regaining trust:
  “I've heard so many people say things like ‘Oh, I can't be trusted with credit cards’ or ‘don't let me near the Macy’s Labor Day sale—who knows what I’ll come home with.’ This kind of talk is super disempowering. … When you stop buying things you don’t need, you begin to trust yourself more.” (08:20)

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Diania’s Closing Perspective (10:30–11:40)

Diania Merriam shares her personal experience confronting consumer habits:

• Cultural Brainwashing:
  “I'm convinced this is what has turned the American Dream into a nightmare for the 77% of households trying to manage their debt. It's such a cultural norm to desire luxuries and the thrill of a new purchase.” (10:30)
• Shifting Perspective:
  She draws connections to overcoming other habits (cigarette and alcohol use), explaining that lasting change doesn’t come from willpower alone; it comes from fundamentally changing your desires and beliefs.
• Powerful Conclusion:
  “I abstain from buying stuff I don't need simply because I don't want that stuff. I’ve come to understand that the best things in life are free and consumerism pales in comparison.” (11:21)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:36] — Episode introduction, personal story of Sarah Von Bargen
• [03:25] — Realization and decision to change spending habits
• [04:45] — Defining need vs. want
• [05:22] — Examples of personal “needs” and “non-needs”
• [06:12] — 1. More money
• [06:54] — 2. More time
• [07:30] — 3. Improved self-image
• [08:06] — 4. Better living space
• [08:37] — 5. Increased self-trust
• [10:30] — Diania's reflections on consumerism and personal change
• [11:21] — Final takeaway: the true value of non-material things

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Final Takeaway

Stopping the habit of buying things you don’t need leads to financial, emotional, and practical freedom. You’ll not only save money and time but enjoy a more content, less cluttered life—and most importantly, regain trust and confidence in your own financial decisions.

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For more, visit yesandyes.org and keep listening to Optimal Finance Daily for daily insights toward financial independence and intentional living.

Transcript

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This is Optimal Finance Daily. Five things that happen when you stop buying shit you don't need By Sarah von Bargen of yes and yes.org Friends, it's time to talk about the back corner of our closets and the bottom drawer in the bathroom. And that weird, hard to reach cupboard above the fridge. You know what I'm talking about. And you know what lives in those places? The dress that still has the tags on it. The expensive conditioner that the stylist said you absolutely needed. The KitchenAid mixer that seems like a great wedding gift. I know this because I've lived at my dudes for years. I'd fill my closet with close enough clothes I found on sale. I'd buy any cosmetic that was packaged cleverly or dispensed in a novel way. Oh, what's that? Spray on eyeshadow and foam lipstick into it. For a huge swath of my life, I bought shit that I didn't need. Like lots of it. But one day, after my second Goodwill drop off in as many weeks, I took a long, hard look at my spending habits and decided things needed to change. I decided to stop buying shit I didn't need. Of course these changes didn't happen overnight. Habit change is hard. But little by little, target run by target run, I started spending my money more intentionally. I started to make my spending align with my happiness and my values. And interestingly enough, I don't get a lot of happiness out of the $17 target sundress that falls apart after two washes or a tube of clear lip gloss when I already have five at home. Without exaggeration, my life changed when I stopped buying shit I didn't need, and I bet yours will too. Five things that happen when you stop buying shit you don't need first, let's define need. I would never suggest that you should limit yourself to only buying food, rent, and one pair of sensible shoes. No one wants to live that life. Instead, let's define something you need as something that is frequently used, actively improves your life or brings you joy. But I bet this definition wasn't really necessary. I imagine you know what it looks like and how it feels when you buy something you don't need. You know the slightly icky feeling when you pull something out of a Target bag that you abandoned on the entryway. You know the inner grimace when you see a shirt with tags still on hanging in the closet. And you also probably know how it feels when you pull something on in a fitting room and think, oh my God, I'm a goddess. Will they cut the tags off so I can wear this home? You know how it feels to open the package in your car. You also know how it feels to own something that positively impacts your life every blessed day. For example, I have two pets, two teenage stepsons, and hardwood floors. Yes, I do actually need a $350 robot vacuum that cleans while I do other things. I also need my beautiful coffee mug, my multiple sets of satin pajamas, and weekly bouquets from Trader Joe's. I don't, however, need the skirt that was on sale but doesn't quite fit. I also don't need a fourth set of serving spoons. Any more books for my to read pile or more throw pillows ever one. When you stop buying shit you don't need, you have more money. Well, obviously, right? When you stop buying things you don't need, you have more money to buy things you do. But it's about more than that. You have more money for outsourcing tasks that make you miserable. You can get groceries delivered, have a professional do your taxes or hire a house cleaner. You have more money to pay off the debt that's stressing you out and bulk up your emergency fund you have more money for a therapist or the knot covered by insurance treatments that make you feel better and happier. You can buy a flight to see grandma or your niece's graduation. You have more money to upgrade to a safer, more fuel efficient car or donate to important causes. Number two when you stop buying shit you don't need, you have more time. Most of us exchange our time for money. The more we work, the more money we make. When we stop buying things we don't need, we have more money left over at the end of the month, which means we can work less. Maybe we don't need that side hustle anymore. We don't need to take the extra shift or work overtime. And when we work less, we have more time for the things that make us happy. Things like long lazy walks with a dog, three day camping, weekends, or just reading a book from COVID to cover. 3. When you stop buying shit you don't need, you feel better about yourself. Do you get a sinking feeling when you look at your bank account statement? Do you wonder where does it all go? Or welp, did it again. Overspent on things I don't need. When we stop buying things we don't need, we stop feeling that way. It doesn't feel good to see that we're spending more than we earn. It feels gross to watch people buy things we want but we can't afford because we spent $400 on target sweaters and novelty pencil holders. Number four when you stop buying shit you don't need, you feel better about your space. We all know how it feels to open a cupboard or closet and see regrettable purchases staring back at us. The Instapot we never use the going out shirt we bought in hopes of becoming someone who likes going out. Is it fun to look at the Vitamix you couldn't afford and never use? Nope. Want to recline against the throw pillows that are currently accruing 18% interest on a credit card? Probably not. When we stop buying things we don't need. When we use things up before we buy more. When we buy things because we truly want them or they bring us joy, our spaces become happy, light and fun. They're no longer filled with things that happen to be on sale and reminders of credit card debt. When you stop buying shit you don't need, you trust yourself more. I've heard so many people say things like oh, I can't be trusted with credit cards or don't let me near the Macy's Labor Day sale. Who knows what I'll come home with this kind of talk is super disempowering. We're all adults here. We're all responsible for our choices and behavior. That being said, when someone regularly buys things they don't need or particularly like or want, it's easy to see why they'd feel like they can't trust themselves. It's understandable that they think their shopping self didn't have their best interest at heart. When you stop buying things you don't need, you begin to trust yourself more. You can walk into Target knowing you're only going to walk out with things you truly need and want. You no Longer have a Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde relationship. With sales racks, you can shop without worrying things will somehow mysteriously end up in your shopping cart. 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I'm convinced this is what has turned the American Dream into a nightmare for the 77% of households trying to manage their debt. It's such a cultural norm to desire luxuries and the thrill of a new purchase. We have been brainwashed since birth to be good consumers and the force of ingrained habits is too strong for many of us to use willpower to fight it off. I think we need a shift in perspective if we're ever going to make any long lasting changes. I have a confession. I used to smoke cigarettes and I drank pretty heavily too. When I tried to use willpower and logic to change these habits, I was unsuccessful because I still had the desire to smoke and drink. I was convinced that I wanted to do these things, but they were bad for me and so I had to force myself to stop. And then I read a couple of books, the Easy Way to Quit Smoking by Allan Carr and this Naked Mind by Annie Grace. The root message of these two books was the same. You need to remove the desire and brainwash yourself in the other direction. There's a way to convince yourself that actually you don't want to smoke or drink when you do this. Willpower isn't required to change your behavior. I feel the same way about consumerism and materialism. I abstain from buying stuff I don't need simply because I don't want that stuff. I don't have to convince myself that delayed gratification is good for me and I don't have to hit myself over the head with a budget that's hard to stick to. I've come to understand that the best things in life are free and consumerism pales in comparison. And that'll do it for today. Have a great day. Thank you for listening. And I'll be back here tomorrow where your optimal life awaits.