3378: You Don't Have to Give Up Important Things to Get Important Things Done by Michael Mehlberg - Optimal Finance Daily - Financial Independence and Money Advice

Summary4 min read

Optimal Finance Daily, Episode 3378

Title: You Don't Have to Give Up Important Things to Get Important Things Done by Michael Mehlberg
Podcast Date: December 7, 2025
Host: Diania Merriam (with narration by Justin from Optimal Living Daily)
Source Article: Michael Mehlberg, moderndavinci.net

Episode Overview

This episode explores the tension between productivity trends—particularly the “not to do list”—and the importance of intentionally protecting time for what truly matters to you. Drawing from Michael Mehlberg’s candid advice, the episode challenges listeners to reconsider the all-or-nothing approach to cutting out distractions and instead encourages creating a “Not to Give Up List,” a practice that honors life's joyful, rejuvenating activities alongside goal achievement.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Not to Do List Trend

Definition:
The “not to do list” proposes we list things to avoid (e.g., social media, checking emails first thing, watching TV) to boost productivity.
Initial Effectiveness:
Listeners may find early momentum by abstaining from distractions; time is reallocated to productive tasks.
Inevitable Backlash:
Mehlberg highlights that suppressing enjoyable activities can lead to burnout and “binging” on forbidden activities later:

"You build up a backlog of unplayed games that is so compelling you drop this new productivity trick and binge play Fortnite until your thumbs are raw... loving it yet hating yourself at the same time." (03:07)

2. The Problem with All-or-Nothing Self-Denial

Human Nature vs. Cold Turkey:
- We all have vices; denying them is unrealistic.
- Quitting cold turkey sets us up for failure.
Science of Habit Change:
- Mindfulness—not brute force—enables sustainable change.
- When tired or stressed, our self-control mechanisms falter.
- Forced self-discipline doesn’t last:
  
  "Forced self control, on the other hand, only works when you're not stressed or tired. In those circumstances, the part of your brain that regulates self control essentially shuts off, so any efforts to quit what you're doing are ineffective." (04:23)

3. Purpose-Driven Action vs. Restrictive Lists

Finding Purpose:
- Instead of blanket bans, question the underlying purpose of actions:
  - Is ignoring email feasible for your goals?
  - Can you skip an activity without derailing broader objectives?
- The “not to do list” lacks context if used indiscriminately and can backfire, leading to guilt and bingeing.

4. Introducing the “Not to Give Up List”

Concept:
Rather than focusing on what to eliminate, make an explicit list of activities, hobbies, or relationships you won’t sacrifice.
Examples from Mehlberg:
- Favorite TV shows (“Westworld, Game of Thrones”), sports (“Washington Capitals’ hockey”).
- Activities that recharge and matter, even if they don’t move work goals forward.
  
  "These are the things you won't give up for anything. These are the things that will take time away from your goals and you're going to be okay with that. And that's the beauty of a Not to give up list." (05:11)
Powerful Shift in Focus:
- Intentionally blocking time for these joy-bringing activities reduces guilt and builds a healthier work-life balance.
Actionable Prompt:
- Take 5 minutes to make your own “Not to Give Up List”, reflecting on what you cherish—family, exercise, hobbies, relaxation.
  
  "You need to create one now, because once you have it, you can better plan your goals." (05:43)

5. Practical Planning with the Not to Give Up List

Implementation:
- Block off dedicated calendar time for “not to give up” activities.
- This step ensures you don’t lose sight of life’s essential joys, and you organize goal-oriented pursuits around them, not at their expense.
  
  "By blocking time in your schedule for important things in your life, you'll be able to build your work driven and goal oriented tasks around them." (05:56)

6. Host’s Closing Reflection & Takeaway

Justin encourages listeners to actively try the “Not to Give Up” list and, for those wanting more hands-on engagement, teases the idea of actionable prompts inspired by future episodes:

"Try making a not to give up activities list and see what comes up… if you're actively listening and trying to implement the ideas in this podcast, but it's hard for you to take notes... maybe this would help you out." (08:37)

Memorable Quotes

On Productivity Bandwagoning:

"It seems to be the productivity flavor of the month—the not to do list. Have you heard of it?" (01:47)
On Human Needs:

"...yes, playing video games is a basic human need..." (02:29)
On Mindfulness Over Cold Turkey:

"Research shows that the best way to break a habit is to be mindful of it. Not quit cold turkey." (04:14)
On Prioritizing Joy:

"That's the beauty of a not to give up list. You put the focus on what's important in your life." (05:14)

Timestamps for Key Segments

01:46: Start of Michael Mehlberg’s narrated article
02:29: Critique of “not to do list” and the human need for small pleasures
04:14: The science behind mindful habit change vs. forced self-control
05:11: Introduction of the “Not to Give Up List” and examples
05:56: Why to calendar your joyful, irreplaceable activities
08:37: Host’s call-to-action and ideas for actionable prompts

Final Takeaway

Instead of denying yourself all enjoyable distractions in the name of productivity, intentionally make space for the things that recharge you. Build your productive life around your core joys, not in opposition to them. Try the “Not to Give Up List”—your happiness and motivation will thank you.

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Transcript6 lines

[00:00]
A
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[01:15]
Welcome back to our Sunday bonus episode where I share an article with you from a different podcast in our network to keep your life nice and optimized. Today's episode is coming from our main personal development podcast, Optimal Living Daily. You can find that show wherever you're listening to this and please do follow or subscribe to the show to get new episodes every day. So with that, here's Justin with the post and commentary. As we optimize your life.
[01:47]
B
You don't have to give up important things to get important things done by Michael melberg of modernda vinci.net it seems to be the productivity flavor of the month. The not to do list. Have you heard of it? The basic idea is instead of listing the things you need to do, make a list of the things you should not do. Things that are preventing you from accomplishing your goals. Things like checking Facebook, responding to emails first thing in the morning, watching tv or avoiding video games for a few days. It seems to work. You replace time otherwise spent watching video games with real, honest to goodness productive work. But after denying yourself this basic need, and yes, playing video games is a basic human need, you forget why that article you read on not to do lists was so inspiring. You build up a backlog of unplayed games that is so compelling you drop this new productivity trick and binge play Fortnite until your thumbs are raw. Now the bandage is ripped off. You're doing exactly what you said you would not do loving it yet hating yourself at the same time. Your not to do list is setting you up for failure. We all have vices. We're human. It comes with the territory. But denying these vices outright, quitting them cold turkey, is setting us up for failure. Research shows that the best way to break a habit is to be mindful of it. Not quit cold turkey. Mindfulness helps you recognize your cravings, patterns and behaviors, which ultimately helps you realize these behaviors aren't helpful. Forced self control, on the other hand, only works when you're not stressed or tired. In those circumstances, the part of your brain that regulates self control essentially shuts off, so any efforts to quit what you're doing are ineffective. Though you intend to stop wasting time on activities that distract you from your most important tasks, in reality, you you're only getting a momentary boost of productivity. What's worse, you're reinforcing a mindset of it's okay to fail at my goals when they're too hard. That is not good. Purpose driven action sets you up for success. It's not that we shouldn't get a grip on our vices. If you spend all day playing video games and get nothing done, that's a problem. If you spend all day in your inbox responding to other people's problems, you're not accomplishing your own objectives, and that needs to change asap. But you must ask yourself, what is the purpose behind my actions? Is ignoring my email inbox for a day something I need to do? Is it something I can afford to do? Is it something that I can do on a recurring basis without destroying my ability to achieve my goals for the year? The not to do list may be all the rage, but it's fraught with danger without a clear purpose. For every item that goes on this list, you'll find yourself ignoring it, or worse, binging on the very things you add to it. I say throw the not to do list out instead. Make a Not to Give up list. There are a few things I won't give up. Westworld, Game of Thrones, Washington Capital's Hockey, to name a few. When these shows are on, everything else gets a back seat. Yes, these shows take time away from my work. Yes, I could recapture a few hours a month if I ignored them. But I love them. They're my chance to relax after a long day of work. And because I've created a Not to Give up list, I don't need to remove them from my life. They're planned in. If you were to create a list of things you absolutely cannot give up. What would go on it? Family time? Hobbies? Reading, Exercise? Cat videos? Whatever it is. These are the things you won't give up for anything. These are the things that will take time away from your goals and you're going to be okay with that. And that's the beauty of a Not to give up less. You put the focus on what's important in your life. If watching cat videos is important to you, like Game of Thrones is for me, then by all means add it to the list. Planning around activities you won't give up. Have you created your not to give up list yet? If not, do it now. Take five minutes and list those things in your life that bring you joy, that help you relax, that reset and recharge you for tomorrow. You need to create one now, because once you have it, you can better plan your goals. Take these not to give up activities and put them on your calendar. It may sound silly, but by blocking time in your schedule for important things in your life, you'll be able to build your work driven and goal oriented tasks around them. It's a first step toward recognizing that these important things take time. It's the first step toward understanding that this time cannot be replaced. And it's the first step toward prioritizing important things in your life over business, giving them their own slot on your calendar, and giving you the respite you need after a hard day's work.
[06:24]
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[06:33]
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[08:37]
B
And big thanks to Michael. This one does have a takeaway for you. A little activity to try. So I'll give you that reminder right now. Try making a not to give up activities list and see what comes up. Which reminds me, an idea we came up with would be to grab a takeaway or two from these articles that I'm narrating. Not all of them, but ones like this where there's a helpful practice or something to work on that might only take a couple of minutes and actually give that to you like in print form, maybe like one a day to work on at night before bed or first thing in the morning. A prompt or question to just help you with these podcast episodes help you digest what we're talking about here. So if you're the type listening passively and want something active like that, or you're actively listening and trying to implement the ideas in this podcast, but it's hard for you to take notes or you forget a step that you wanted to take. Maybe this would help you out, I don't know, just talking ideas out loud. So if you like that idea, let me know. It's easy to get in touch. Just message me from oldpodcast.com that's oldpodcast.com or if you're on my newsletter you can just reply to that to get in touch and let me know what you think of that idea. But that's enough for today. Have a great rest of your day and I'll see you tomorrow with a post from Brian Tracy where your optimal life awaits.