Optimal Finance Daily, Episode 3378

Title: You Don't Have to Give Up Important Things to Get Important Things Done by Michael Mehlberg
Podcast Date: December 7, 2025
Host: Diania Merriam (with narration by Justin from Optimal Living Daily)
Source Article: Michael Mehlberg, moderndavinci.net

Episode Overview

This episode explores the tension between productivity trends—particularly the “not to do list”—and the importance of intentionally protecting time for what truly matters to you. Drawing from Michael Mehlberg’s candid advice, the episode challenges listeners to reconsider the all-or-nothing approach to cutting out distractions and instead encourages creating a “Not to Give Up List,” a practice that honors life's joyful, rejuvenating activities alongside goal achievement.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Not to Do List Trend

• Definition:
  The “not to do list” proposes we list things to avoid (e.g., social media, checking emails first thing, watching TV) to boost productivity.
• Initial Effectiveness:
  Listeners may find early momentum by abstaining from distractions; time is reallocated to productive tasks.
• Inevitable Backlash:
  Mehlberg highlights that suppressing enjoyable activities can lead to burnout and “binging” on forbidden activities later:

  "You build up a backlog of unplayed games that is so compelling you drop this new productivity trick and binge play Fortnite until your thumbs are raw... loving it yet hating yourself at the same time." (03:07)

2. The Problem with All-or-Nothing Self-Denial

• Human Nature vs. Cold Turkey:
  • We all have vices; denying them is unrealistic.
  • Quitting cold turkey sets us up for failure.
• Science of Habit Change:
  • Mindfulness—not brute force—enables sustainable change.
  • When tired or stressed, our self-control mechanisms falter.
  • Forced self-discipline doesn’t last:

    "Forced self control, on the other hand, only works when you're not stressed or tired. In those circumstances, the part of your brain that regulates self control essentially shuts off, so any efforts to quit what you're doing are ineffective." (04:23)

3. Purpose-Driven Action vs. Restrictive Lists

• Finding Purpose:
  • Instead of blanket bans, question the underlying purpose of actions:
    • Is ignoring email feasible for your goals?
    • Can you skip an activity without derailing broader objectives?
  • The “not to do list” lacks context if used indiscriminately and can backfire, leading to guilt and bingeing.

4. Introducing the “Not to Give Up List”

• Concept:
  Rather than focusing on what to eliminate, make an explicit list of activities, hobbies, or relationships you won’t sacrifice.
• Examples from Mehlberg:
  • Favorite TV shows (“Westworld, Game of Thrones”), sports (“Washington Capitals’ hockey”).
  • Activities that recharge and matter, even if they don’t move work goals forward.

    "These are the things you won't give up for anything. These are the things that will take time away from your goals and you're going to be okay with that. And that's the beauty of a Not to give up list." (05:11)

• Powerful Shift in Focus:
  • Intentionally blocking time for these joy-bringing activities reduces guilt and builds a healthier work-life balance.
• Actionable Prompt:
  • Take 5 minutes to make your own “Not to Give Up List”, reflecting on what you cherish—family, exercise, hobbies, relaxation.

    "You need to create one now, because once you have it, you can better plan your goals." (05:43)

5. Practical Planning with the Not to Give Up List

• Implementation:
  • Block off dedicated calendar time for “not to give up” activities.
  • This step ensures you don’t lose sight of life’s essential joys, and you organize goal-oriented pursuits around them, not at their expense.

    "By blocking time in your schedule for important things in your life, you'll be able to build your work driven and goal oriented tasks around them." (05:56)

6. Host’s Closing Reflection & Takeaway

• Justin encourages listeners to actively try the “Not to Give Up” list and, for those wanting more hands-on engagement, teases the idea of actionable prompts inspired by future episodes:

  "Try making a not to give up activities list and see what comes up… if you're actively listening and trying to implement the ideas in this podcast, but it's hard for you to take notes... maybe this would help you out." (08:37)

Memorable Quotes

• On Productivity Bandwagoning:

  "It seems to be the productivity flavor of the month—the not to do list. Have you heard of it?" (01:47)

• On Human Needs:

  "...yes, playing video games is a basic human need..." (02:29)

• On Mindfulness Over Cold Turkey:

  "Research shows that the best way to break a habit is to be mindful of it. Not quit cold turkey." (04:14)

• On Prioritizing Joy:

  "That's the beauty of a not to give up list. You put the focus on what's important in your life." (05:14)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:46: Start of Michael Mehlberg’s narrated article
• 02:29: Critique of “not to do list” and the human need for small pleasures
• 04:14: The science behind mindful habit change vs. forced self-control
• 05:11: Introduction of the “Not to Give Up List” and examples
• 05:56: Why to calendar your joyful, irreplaceable activities
• 08:37: Host’s call-to-action and ideas for actionable prompts

Final Takeaway

Instead of denying yourself all enjoyable distractions in the name of productivity, intentionally make space for the things that recharge you. Build your productive life around your core joys, not in opposition to them. Try the “Not to Give Up List”—your happiness and motivation will thank you.