Podcast Summary

Podcast: Optimal Finance Daily – Financial Independence and Money Advice
Episode: 3383 — "The Honeymoon Phase of Early Retirement"
Author: Leif of Physician on FIRE
Host: Diania Merriam
Date: December 11, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode explores the emotional journey of early retirement, focusing on the "honeymoon phase"—the initial period of excitement and novelty—and how early retirees can best prepare for and transition beyond it. Leif of Physician on FIRE shares personal experiences and insights into the psychological phases following early retirement, emphasizing the importance of finding ongoing purpose and fulfillment. Host Diania Merriam expands on these ideas by reflecting on her own relationship with work, achievement, and self-worth.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Honeymoon Phase: The Emotional High

• Retirement parallels newlywed life:
  Leif compares the early days of retirement to the honeymoon phase of marriage—filled with romance, excitement, and undistracted focus on new freedom. ([01:23])
• Initial burst of activity:
  The opening months are characterized by tackling everything on your retirement to-do list with enthusiasm (cleaning, planning, reconnecting with people, etc.).
• Routine and Loss of Novelty:
  "[...] after a few months, these activities become routine. Maybe they don’t provide the same happiness you were looking for." (Leif, [02:53])
• The emotional climax:
  Retirement day is highly anticipated, and emotions are at a peak, but, “You have no idea how you’ll feel the next day. Probably not that much different.” (Leif, [02:07])

2. Shifting from Honeymoon to Reality

• Predictable emotional progression:
  The honeymoon fades, replaced by normalcy and questions about what comes next.
• Emergence of negative emotions:
  For Leif, the honeymoon ended “when fear reared its ugly head.” (Leif, [03:47])
• Feelings of disenchantment and boredom:
  “That ‘is this it’ phase kicks in after a few months. How am I going to spend the next 30-plus years?” (Leif, [06:02])

3. Navigating Post-Honeymoon: The Big Questions

• Fear isn't (just) about money:
  “Fear is likely a result of wondering if you have enough—not enough money. Maybe enough joy, happiness, potential fulfillment. Is that boredom creeping in? No, worse. It’s fear.” (Leif, [06:12])
• Translating non-financial fears into financial concerns:
  Leif notes retirees often disguise existential fears by obsessing over financial spreadsheets, even when money is sufficient.
• The power of mindset:
  Choose “the abundance mindset rather than the scarcity one, and you might find that you need fewer spreadsheets to keep track of your joy.” (Leif, [08:14])

4. Adapting and Rediscovering Purpose

• The importance of pivoting:
  “If that doesn’t work, pivot, keep trying. All you have is time [...] You pivot, you adapt to new circumstances.” (Leif, [06:54], [07:18])
• Seeking fulfillment in new ways:
  The path forward involves identifying sources of “flow” and fulfillment, just as one would in earlier life phases.

5. Host’s Reflections: The Universal Nature of the Honeymoon Phase

• Parallels to any major life goal:
  Diania Merriam ties the post-honeymoon letdown to any big accomplishment, not just retirement—“Initially it’s thrilling and you have so much energy to bask in the glory of your achievement. But over time you might realize that the pursuit of the goal could have been distracting you from some deeper work.” ([10:38])
• Self-worth and identity beyond productivity:
  “I’m being forced to base my self-worth on more solid ground. While it hasn’t been easy for me, I do believe this kind of personal development will benefit me in the long run.” (Diania, [11:07])
• New questions in open time:
  She highlights the existential questions brought on by more free time: “How do I want to spend my time? Who do I want to spend that time with? [...] What is my purpose?” (Diania, [11:23])

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On the fading of excitement:
  “It’s the feeling of honeymoon that fades in early retirement. The excitement, the anticipation is gone, routines are set. And what’s next? More emotions, for sure.”
  — Leif ([03:11])

• On reaching the ‘Is this it?’ feeling:
  “When the honeymoon phase of early retirement is over, people often have feelings of disenchantment and boredom. That ‘is this it’ phase kicks in after a few months.”
  — Leif ([06:00])

• On handling strong emotions:
  "You'll be emotional when the honeymoon phase of early retirement ends. You thought you were prepared and you are. But when you get there... Wait, where did this flood of emotions come from?"
  — Leif ([06:30])

• On adapting to change:
  “How do you adjust to life when it changes? You pivot, you adapt to new circumstances. Early retirement is a time of change. A massive change.”
  — Leif ([07:17])

• On abundance mindset and fulfillment:
  “Choose the abundance mindset rather than the scarcity one and you might find that you need fewer spreadsheets to keep track of your joy.”
  — Leif ([08:14])

• On personal development after achievement:
  “The pursuit of the goal could have been distracting you from some deeper work. That’s the personal development stuff, the unresolved stuff, the self worth stuff that isn’t solved by more money in the bank.”
  — Diania ([10:41])

Important Timestamps

• [01:23] – Introduction of the honeymoon analogy for retirement
• [02:53] – When retirement activities become routine
• [03:47] – End of the honeymoon phase and onset of fear
• [06:00] – Description of disenchantment and boredom
• [06:54] – The pivot and adapting to new circumstances
• [07:17] – How to adjust when big life changes hit
• [08:14] – Abundance mindset vs. scarcity mindset
• [10:38] – Host’s reflection: Emotions after achieving big goals
• [11:07] – Re-examining self-worth beyond productivity
• [11:23] – The universally tough question: “What is my purpose?”

Summary Takeaways

• The "honeymoon phase" in early retirement mirrors the excitement and eventual normalization seen in major life milestones like marriage.
• After the initial burst of activity and joy, retirees may struggle with boredom, disenchantment, and existential fears—often disguised as financial worries.
• Achieving financial independence or any large goal can prompt unexpected emotional challenges and personal development opportunities.
• The keys to thriving post-honeymoon are ongoing adaptation, finding new sources of purpose, and embracing an abundance mindset.
• More time can bring deeper questions: “How do I want to spend my time, and who with? What is my purpose?”
• As Diania emphasizes: true fulfillment, self-worth, and purpose aren’t solved by numbers in a spreadsheet, but by the meaning we create in our post-retirement lives.