Steven (36:34)
Tears flying out of my face, and I had this feeling that they were, like, taking something from me. Like, something that I was a part of me now. Like, it'd been growing in me, and it's, like, become a part of me, and I didn't want to let it go. And then I just had this voice in my head, just tell me, like, to say that it's gone. To say it's over. To say it's over. Like a desperate sound. It was, like, desperately trying not to get taken away from me. It felt like it was part of my own body at that time. Like, it didn't feel like this evil entity. It felt like it was a part of me getting sucked out into this priest's hand. And it was, like, pleading with me, like, please, just tell them it's over. Just tell them you fixed this. Tell them you're fixed. Desperate, like, really desperate feeling. And I felt like it was. I felt like the energy that moved from my heart was like. It was like half of it had been sucked out of my body. And it was like the last little bit of it was, like, gripping into, like, near my elbow. I remember just being like, oh, you fixed me and, like, pretending and being like, oh, it's okay. It's gone now. You fix me. Thank you. Thank you so much. And, like, lying to them because, like, I felt that it was, like, a part of me, and I didn't want to let it go. But I also knew that, like, what it was, like, I knew it was, like, this evil side of me that, like, I didn't want to be a part of me anymore. Like, I could kind of tell that they knew that I was lying in a way, and they're, like, trying to get me to stay. And then they were telling me, like, it's her. It's her. You need to break up with her. Like, you need to not be around her. Like, we can help you. We can help you. And I was like, thank you so much. Thank you so much. Like, thank you for helping me. Thank you for saving me. And this is all so weird for my personality. Like, to be honest, it's really. For me to even be at church is like a massive. Something totally out of the ordinary. And then for this to happen was, like, shocked me because I'd spent, like, years just not even thinking about this kind of thing, and, like, kind of just thinking it was all bullshit. And then I just left. I just left the house. Yeah. So I. I'm walking down the stairs, and my heart is just racing. I feel absolutely defeated. I felt like I let this entity stay inside me, and I started to believe it all again. And I was like, oh, God, this thing has been ruining my life. And this was the opportunity to get rid of it. But I'm too scared. I'm, like, become attached to it. Like, I've become attached to this thing, and I, like, want it to be a part of me. I felt embarrassed that I lost control like that. And I was, like, so paranoid for, like, what I was about to deal with with my girlfriend at the time being in the car. I knew I had to just, like, try and put on a straight face immediately after this happening to me and, like, pretend that nothing happened because I didn't want her to know that I just had an exorcism take place. It just escalated insanely quickly. Like, I went through all these emotions of being, like, accused of bringing a demon into this guy's house, and then me being, like, totally offended by that and upset. And then I. All of a sudden, I'm having an exorcism done on me out of nowhere and being totally overwhelmed by it actually working and, like, bringing all these emotions that I had when I was 15 back. It was just like an insanely overwhelming, like, passage of events. I felt like I just like ran a marathon or something. My body was aching. I was drenched in sweat. I felt numb. Like I was feeling pins and needles all over my body. And I also felt kind of dirty. Like I felt. It was like a feeling of being a complete loser. Yeah. So like, as I'm walking to the car, I feel all these feelings and then I remember like getting close to opening the door and be like, all right, I need to put a straight face on. I can't let her see me like this. So I just opened the door and I was like, yeah. I just told him, like, to get fucked. I'm never coming back. And then I remember on the drive home, just like her venting and just like being like, oh, fuck them. They're fucking cunts. You're never seeing them again. I was like, yeah, of course I don't want to see them again. That was fucked. But the whole time I was like, just empty headed, like just thinking about what the hell just happened to me. I wasn't even really listening to what she was saying. After this experience with the. My friend with the exorcism, I like definitely felt that this thing never left and it's still with me. I went through like another year and a half of like hell with this ex girlfriend. We broke up after that. I got insanely depressed. Like, I was depressed because she was gone. I was depressed that like, I put up with her for so many years. I just like, couldn't take it anymore. I ended up moving to Sydney just on a whim. I had a day off work. I applied for a job in Sydney and then I went up there with like $300 and they told me, like, can you start on Thursday? Then I met my wife about a year after I moved here. And then we had a kid two years after that. I knew this thing was like never gone, but, you know, just everything started going real well for me. My new wife is amazing. My daughter was amazing. But I always felt that it was still there. It never left. And then my daughter got diagnosed with a rare kidney condition, genetic condition. When she was three months old, she essentially, she needed to get a kidney transplant. We were told by the doctors that it's not like a really great success rate of her getting to a certain age to get the kidney. I ended up being the kidney donor and leading up towards getting the transplant. And I was like, I started freaking out about this demon again and I started having nightmares again. And Then I had this dream where it like, went. It was in my room, and then I told it to leave my room, and then I saw it run into my daughter's room. So I was like, what the? So I like, followed it in there and then it was like this big, scary demon, like, standing over my daughter's bed. I got so angry, I, like, run over and grabbed it by the throat. And I was like, don't you go near my daughter. And he's like, started off this big, scary demon, and as I was squeezing his throat, he, like, shriveled up into this, like, tiny little thing. And he was like, begging me to, like, gasping for air. And then I, like, woke up and I was like, drenched in sweat. Like, what the was that? And leading up towards the getting the transplant, I decided that I should, like, start meditating or do something to help me process what was happening. Yeah, so I started doing a lot of meditation. I got become like, obsessed with it. I found the Monroe tapes on the forum on Reddit, and I had no idea what they were about. I just thought they were like these cool meditation tapes. So I started looking into the tapes more and I realized that, like, the Monterey tapes are made to induce out of body experiences. And I just became obsessed with these tapes. Like, I was doing them two, three sessions a day. Like, it was like a whole new reality, like a whole new different version of how you can live your life. I started one night. I just had this really intense out of body experience. Feel like I finally was able to, like, come to terms with what this evil entity was. And, like, through doing these tapes, I, like, felt like I was actually able to get rid of it. Yeah, so I'd just done like a breath work when I was in bed. Usually I'd do the breath work for like an hour, and then I would put the tape on. While I would lay in bed with my eyes closed. I was still awake and conscious, but it was like I was viewing myself staring down at myself, and there was an old man standing next to my body. He's got, like a top hat, a trench coat, like a old scarred up face. Like, immediately I just was like, okay, I know, like, what this is. Like, I'm feeling a bit scared at this point. But I also know that, like, no, like, I'm strong enough to deal with this now. Like, a lot has changed, you know, Like, I'm a father now. Like, you've been through so much that this doesn't scare you anymore. You're stronger than this. And at first I Like try and deal with it like how I used to deal with it. Like I was like, get out of here, you're not welcome. And then as I was saying that, it was like gaining power. It was like, like started morphing into like a giant, like stereotypical demon, you know, like big horns, just a monster, like face. I remember it was like got a lot taller. It was like crowding over the top of my body. I had this feeling in my heart that like, that's not the way to deal with it. Like there's something deeper. I started feeling this feeling of like it was sad and it was like it was like a part of me. Like I realized that this thing had been with me for 15 years and it like had become a part of my personality. And then I started to like feel emotional. That like, getting rid of it was like actually saying goodbye to like a big part of my life. And as I was having these thoughts, the entity that was next to me started to like morph into me. And it was like a version of me that was like this kind of like fake bravado, like cool version of myself. And I felt really connected to it and I felt really upset. Like it just felt like it just wanted to be heard and that like I. It didn't want to leave, but it knew that it was time to go. And it was like really emotional. It was weird. It went from fear to like sadness. And it was like facing a part of myself that I knew wasn't needed anymore. And there was like parts of it that I would miss. But I knew that it was not serving me in any way anymore. It had just been dragging me down. So I remember just saying like, oh, it's time for you to go. I'm sorry that I made you feel this way and I let you down. It was like a. It was like saying sorry to myself from when I was depressed and like suicidal and upset. And like I felt like I'd let that part of myself down. I just remember feeling this feeling of releasing it and it was like went from like a sad emotion to all of a sudden like relief and like euphoria that I like finally overcome something. And then I remember just having this feeling of like, this is it, this is permanent. Like this is permanently gone now. You've like, you've done it. And then after that moment, like I've never had anything. Like, this is a. Yeah, first time in my Life, I'm a 30 year old man where I feel like I have control over my own mind from this Entity. So, yeah, it's been a, like, insane part of my life to, like, discover these tapes and discover, like, this meditation. It's been like, six months since then. My daughter, actually, we had the transplant surgery about four months ago now, so about two months after this happened. And, like, of course, that was a really hard time, but we got through it. She's, you know, the transplant was successful. My kidney's working great. She's just, like, become so much stronger and, like. Like, her running around and, like, playing with her, and it's just, like, such a blessing. Like, she's such a sweet girl. It's given me just, like, such a new appreciation of life. It's like I've been given a second chance to live my perfect life. My wife has, you know, just been a rock for me. She's grounded me. I recently just got an even, like, better job lined up in a different city, so we're moving. Just feels like since that moment, everything's just. I've gotten, like, more clarity, and everything's just become. Yeah, way better than given a fresh start. And the same thing for my brother. Like, you know, it's still, like, very raw for him, this whole thing, but he's got himself a son and a wife, and, yeah, our lives has just turned around a lot. And so looking back on the whole thing, I spent years, like, blaming Casey for bringing it into my house and also kind of doubting that Casey had some kind of abilities that would, like, manipulate us into thinking that this was what was happening, but it really wasn't. But to be honest, I only probably spent 12 times even seeing Casey. Obviously, my brother was around her a lot more than that. And I just remember having a really. I was really curious about what led her to be, how she was, like, she was seemed like every day being taken over by some being or communicating with her dead friends or. And then she just left. I never saw her. We never talked to her again. Just out of the blue, just left and then left us with this whole situation to deal with afterwards. And definitely something like, I wouldn't want to track her down and talk to her. Especially just, like, how much it affected my brother and still affects me and him, but obviously, yeah, it was like his first girlfriend. And, like, she. You know, she broke his heart. So it's obviously a lot of pain that happened. Not just a normal heartbreak, but then being left with this evil entity for years, like, it's just something we'd want to leave in the past and just move on from, really. And then I Saw her only one more time. Me and my brother were walking through the shopping center probably three, two years after or three years after, and she was just working in a coffee shop. It was a shock to see her, and it kind of, like, gave me anxiety. I was straight away, like, sweating and heart racing. My brother, as soon as he saw her, I was like, let's go. Let's go. I don't want to talk to her.