Transcript
A (0:12)
Welcome to Other World. I'm your host, Jack Wagner. This is part two of down the Silver Strand. If you haven't heard the first part, you should definitely go back and start at the beginning. In part one, we met Jake, who. He was a Navy SWCC veteran who sustained a traumatic brain injury from heavy machine gun fire during his time in the military. This injury, also known as a tbi, had horrible daily symptoms that only got worse with time and pushed Jake to the point where he considered taking his own life. After exhausting every available doctor and resource at his disposal, Jake decided to travel to Mexico to undergo a treatment using ibogaine and 5 Meo DMT. These are two ancient sacred medicines with long ceremonial histories that are now being examined by Western researchers for their potential to treat a wide range of conditions. I know that part of the reason Jake wanted to share his own story on the show is is that treatments like these might be intimidating or completely unknown to the people who need it most. I think sharing this is important and also incredibly fascinating to hear such a vivid description of it. With that, let's get back into the second part of Jake's story. He has just woken up in Rosarito, Mexico after taking ibogaine and is about to begin his his day of DMT. This episode is called down the Silver Strand Part 2, and you're listening to Otherworld.
B (1:57)
Hello, is this Bobby? Yes, it is. At its core, the science you can't argue with. I was worried about. All of a sudden it is up in the sky. It's almost frustrating that it's happening. I'm gonna die. Its limbs were just like, wrong. Everybody moves back into the light, even if it takes them a Sam. I woke up the next day and the first thought that popped into my head was, I get to feel like this every day. Like, that's how good I felt. I woke up for the first time in years, I don't know how many, but years, and I wasn't tired, my neck didn't hurt, my head didn't hurt, and I just felt good. And, you know, I knew something had happened and something had worked already just because of the way I felt that morning. I hadn't felt like that with anything I'd tried over the past few years, know, trying to get some relief. And so that's how I started that day. We get ready to do the dmt. So we. We all get together in a circle and they kind of tell us all about it. So DMT is poison from the Bufo toad or the Sonoran Desert toad. They're all over the southwest, northern Mexico. And they dry this poison and. And you smoke it through what appeared to me to be like a very specialized pipe. It's unlike a pipe I've seen down there. You do 5 Meo DMT, which is the most concentrated version of it. It's the heaviest version of it, but it's also fleeting and it goes really fast. There are other types of DMT. For example, Ayahuasca is NN, DMT. And so down there you are doing the five MeO. And this medicine is unlike anything else. It only lasts 10 to 20 minutes when you take a hit. But it's time legitimately does not exist when you do this medicine. So the time really doesn't matter. You can take one hit. You can take, I think, up to five hits. It's up to you. Most people take two or three hits. And what they do here is they. They do what's called a handshake dose first, which I think is really awesome. So they do a lower dose so that you're kind of introduced to the other side and not just thrown into it. And that way you're able to experience a little better. Because, I mean, it's. To say it's overwhelming is to do it a disservice. There's not a word to describe it. You know, again, in my notebook I wrote, I cannot describe this, but, you know, I'll do the best I can. So we get in our circle and they do the same thing. They kind of try to explain it to us, but they're like, we can't explain it. You just have to experience this. And it's pretty intimidating. So there were some guys that were iffy about it, but ultimately they said they have never seen a single person upset that they did this. Every single person is happy that they did this medicine. They decide who's gonna go first, last. So the way you do this is you go individually and you go to this room they call the Bufo room. And it's this. It's this room that's all by itself. Nobody's allowed in there except when it's your turn. And it's extremely spiritual. Like, if the house is already spiritual, this room is a sacred place. I mean, you can feel it when you walk in there. Everything that's happened over the past few months, I don't know what I believe anymore. I'm really setting my own beliefs now, and I'm kind of chasing that and determining what I think of our existence in this world and, and all that. But if there are things out there, if things can get caught in this reality or whatever it is, that room has to be one of those places, because that room is just pure healing. I mean, that is where people's lives change for the better. It's indescribable. The person who goes in that room is not the person that's going to come out of that room. That's kind of what they give us and kind of what they tell us. And then they number us one through six. I was picked to go fifth. And if you go fifth or sixth, you're allowed to have a small breakfast because you're going to be, you know, be waiting a while, despite the fact that, you know, the hits don't take that long. Guys go in, you get set up, absolutely nobody's rushed. And then afterwards, you go out on the deck where there's. There's a plunge pool, there's a water feature. So you hear water moving, you're overlooking the ocean, the sun's out. That's where you take your notes and you do that as well. And nobody's rushed. Like the. Again, the vibe in the house, the energy in that house. Nobody in that house is rushing you. You're supposed to be selfish in this moment and take all the time you need. I go upstairs and wait for a while, and that was a moment where I was really proud of myself. I was actually really excited about that because I had had so many nerves coming up to that, and I was at peace all day. I just sat there and meditated, looked at the ocean, talked to the other guys I was waiting with, got to know them a lot better. And then when it was finally my time, I headed down. Before I left, I read a bunch of books, and I've already talked about one that was profound on me. And the other one that had a huge impact on me was it's called the Immortality Key, and it talks about the pagan continuity hypothesis, which is that early religions like Christianity had to take aspects of pagan religions to have followers, because otherwise they're not going to be able to appeal to these people in these places that they're trying to spread Christianity to. But what this book argues is it takes it a step further, and it argues that in ancient Greece, one of the popular religions at the time, the cult of Dionysus, was using a psychedelic sacrament. So they were using a, you know, a bread, a wine, whatever their sacrament was, and it had a psychedelic substance in it. And so early Christianity, how were they going to be able to compete if you know these people were literally experiencing God in the woods, you can't just tell somebody to come to church. That's not really an option. So the book goes on to argue that early Christianity used a psychedelic sacrament. So the blood of Christ, the wine that you would typically drink, actually had a psychedelic aspect to it. And with that, there are monasteries in Greece with a very old phrase written on them that says if you die before you die, you won't die when you die. And that phrase was probably the most impactful for me before this journey. To me, I interpret that as if you can have such a profound experience here on earth, most likely with psychedelics, because I'm not sure how else you're going to get this unless you're very advanced at meditation. But if you can have an experience on earth where you feel God and you experience the other side and the universe, then when you die, it's not going to be this scary, horrible thing. It's going to be like welcoming an old friend. So my last intention that I had not accomplished in ibogaine was that I wanted to die. I wanted to experience death. And so I headed down to the bufo room, walked in, and all the providers. I mean, this is as spiritual as it gets. So the Corindera, the shaman, is in there and she blesses you. Again, she does her prayer. Everybody's wearing, like, linen and cotton and clothes that are, you know, very from the earth. And they didn't tell us to bring those. But I was staying in San Diego the week after the journey, and so I had brought, like, a linen shirt and some stuff to go out in. So I actually had some clothes like that. So I did the same thing after seeing, you know, the way they were dressed. And so you walk into this room and there's these prayer curtains hanging from the ceiling. There's this angelic music playing, and there's this soft white mattress in the middle of the floor, and they welcome you in. There's a provider, there's a shaman. You sit down, they tell you to take as long as you need. And then when you're ready, just look at her and tell her you're ready. And so I tell her I'm ready. She puts the pipe up to my mouth, and you have to inhale for like 20 to 30 seconds. I mean, it's a. It's a pretty long inhale. But the smoke is unlike any smoke I've ever experienced. There's nothing to it. It has a slight, slight taste, but it's very easy to deeply inhale. And once you get it all the way in and you've. You've taken all the medicine, she puts your eye mask down, lays you back, and counts down from 10. And when she hits zero, you kind of blast off. That's. That's the best way to explain it, or that's how everybody else explains it. But the word I actually used was dissolve. It kind of feels like your physical body dissolves either way. It's a similar feeling. So for me, the handshake dose comes on, and my physical body is still present, but I'm completely wrapped in the universe. And the universe is, like, atomized. There's nothing around me. I'm not laying on a mattress. I'm just kind of like floating in the universe. And I'm completely wrapped in whatever the basis of the universe is. And that's where. I don't know. I've struggled in my life trying to figure out, like, what the nature of humans is. I've always wanted to believe we're good, but I've just. I've seen so much bad and the world these days and everything like that, and it's. It's gotten to me, and it's been hard to, you know, keep that opinion. But when I was wrapped in the universe and God and they showed me what they are, it was pure, unconditional love. Like, the basis of existence, the foundation of consciousness, is pure, unconditional love. And I wrote in big, giant letters in my notebook that you can't read about God, you cannot hear about God, and. And some guy on a podium cannot tell you about God. The only way you can know God is by feeling it. And that's what I experienced that day. Because I grew up going to church. I've explored other religions, and I never got within a mile of anything like this. And so I'm sitting there wrapped in it, and then all of a sudden, this fight breaks out in front of me. And I never felt in danger or anything, but I could just see my mind, how it was behaving. And they told us before we started that if you want a second hit, you need to. If you want a second, third, fourth hit, whatever it is, you need to make sure that it's you that wants and not your ego. Because you know this medicine is sentient as well. And if you abuse it, it will kick you out or show you something you don't want to see. And so I'm sitting there and this fight breaks out in front of me. It's me and my ego and they're arguing. They're not arguing about whether we should take the next hit or not. They're arguing about who gets to decide if we're going to take the next hit, which I thought was hilarious. And so I'm sitting there and I'm just kind of laughing at myself. I'm like, look at how ridiculous this is. And I. I kind of. So you do this hand signal. You don't. You don't say anything. You don't get up if you want the next hit. You just do this hand signal with your hands. You kind of like, you almost make a little heart with them. You put them together, bend your fingers and make this heart shape. And I just did that instinctively and took the next. The next hit. And I wrote in my book that I don't know who made that decision, but if it was my ego jokes on him because he killed himself, because that was like, that was the ego. Death was after that. It was a dissolution of that thing in your head that tells you you're not good enough and that you've always got to be chasing something. I take the next hit, and this one is a full dose, and I completely dissolve. Like my physical body no longer exists. Time doesn't exist, and I just completely become part of the universe. I atomize, and every molecule that is me is also part of the universe. And I became part of. I wasn't connected to the collective consciousness. I was a part of it. I'm sitting there experiencing that, and once again, just pure, unconditional love and feeling whatever God is and whatever the universe is. And I'm experiencing the universe and everything it has to offer what I believe is the base of God and consciousness and everything like that. And then all of a sudden, all the molecules start changing, including my own. Everything, just this energy shift goes through and everything turns into the love of my wife. So my wife was with me from the beginning. I actually met her when I was going through SWCC school, our selection out in Coronado. And she's been with me for 10 years. She's dealt with the deployments, she's dealt with the trips. She dealt with me not being the best person at the beginning of my time serving. And. And then she's dealt with this injury for the past, you know, at least five years. And that was a really hard thing to deal with. I mean, we went through it and looking back, most of it was my fault. And I just couldn't realize it because, again, I was completely consumed by my injuries. And she stuck out through all of it. And we're doing amazing now, but every molecule turned into her love. And I mean, I just, I wish everybody could experience that because that, like my wife, when I, like when I say she's my whole world or she's my everything, I mean that from the bottom of my heart because that's what I experienced that day. So then I start to come out of it as I'm coming back into my physical body. It feels like this cord gets pulled and I get ripped back into, you know, the collective consciousness. And this is where the intuition comes in again. Something just told me that there was one more thing for me to see before I was done with all this. Like this was the end of my journey with these medicines and this was the last thing it wanted me to see. I guess the only thing I saw with air quotes is like a gold kaleidoscope. But everything is feeling or a sense that we don't or like a way to feel that we can't necessarily experience in our physical bodies. And that's how this entire experience took place. So it pulls me back in and the energy changes again and this time it shows me. I wrote down divine femininity. Like it showed me what women are. So like, I grew up with all kinds of strong women in my life. I've always loved and respected the hell out of my grandma, my mom, my sister, my wife later in life, obviously. So I'm not sure why, you know, why it chose to show me this, but I'm eternally grateful it did. I love my place in the world. I love being a man, a protector. Like I like that. I enjoy it, but I can never experience what femininity or being a woman is because of that. And the universe pulled me back in and it showed me that. It showed me what the pure essence of bringing life into the world is. It showed me the power to uplift others. And again, I can never tell you why it showed me that, but I'm really, really happy it did. And that's when it got super weird to me that I instinctively knew to call the DMT a she in my ibogaine journey because obviously I had no idea this was going to happen. And then after I get done, that's another parallel that I find out that other people are having happen to them is they're encountering this thing that they describe as a divine femininity. So I don't know if that is the essence of DMT or if that's something else out there, but it was beautiful and it was amazing. That happens. And come back into my physical body and I just shoot up and I throw my mask off and I just start dying, laughing, and I just scream, how fucking stupid. Like, how stupid have I been for the past however many years? Like depression, anxiety, all this stuff when everything is perfect. Everything has always been perfect. Like everything in this world is exactly as it should be and it's going to work out. And the beauty around us is just taken for granted every single day. And I know that there's bias there because when you come out of this, I mean, your vision is like. It's like you're watching like an OLED TV in 4K. Like it's crystal clear. It's absolutely. All the colors are booming and vibrant and that your vision feels like you're. But it's not this high vision. Like it's not a vision where you're tripping and everything's swirling. It's just hyper real is the only way I can put it. So I come to it, I'm just already thinking, like, how stupid have I been? Like, this is ridiculous. And here's the other thing though, is there was no remorse, there was no regret. It was just hilarious to me and excitement to get to live the rest of my life with this knowledge. Then they hand you a bowl of fruit and they do this for everybody and they hand it to you and they know, like, they've done the medicine. So they know what you're tasting. But I mean, this might as well be ambrosia. Like, it's the nectar of the gods. When you taste this fruit after doing the dmt, it's the best thing you've ever tasted. Like, it almost ruins food for you. So I'm sitting there and I'm just. I eat a piece of fruit and I just die laughing. And then I eat a piece of fruit and I just die laughing. I do that for probably five to 10 minutes. And then I say I'm ready to get up and go outside and go to the deck where I take my notes. And so I go out there, I sit down, start taking my notes, and again, like, everything is crystal clear. So like my. My hearing, I can hear. I can hear every bird, I can hear every drop of water. I can hear the waves crashing at the beach, which is like super far away at this point. Which that part might have been made up in my head, to be honest, because I don't see how I could have heard those. It seems pretty impossible. But I heard him. Maybe it was association because I was looking at them, but in my head I heard them. So yeah, I mean, absolutely beautiful, wonderful experience. And then I went upstairs and everybody except for one other guy had gone. And this is one of the most important parts of the journey for me and it's why I'm doing a podcast despite, you know, not ever doing anything like this is because I, I looked at everybody up there and they were like, they were entirely new people. Like their smiles, the way that they were carrying themselves, the way that they were sitting there, just everything was, they were better. And I saw that and I just got the biggest smile on my face and thought, like, everybody needs to hear about this. Like as as many people that need this need to go because this is saving lives. It's changing lives. And yeah, that was, that was a super profound, important moment for me.