BONUS - From Outrage to Reflection

Summary

Outrage Overload: BONUS – From Outrage to Reflection
Podcast: Outrage Overload: Rethinking politics, division, and media
Host: David Beckemeyer
Guest: JJ (host of "What's Your Ripple?" podcast)
Date: March 26, 2025
Duration: ~11 minutes

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Episode Overview

In this special bonus episode, David Beckemeyer shares a deeply personal and reflective practice—a weekly "pebble ritual"—as an antidote to the outrage and distraction that often dominate modern political and media environments. Joined by JJ of the "What's Your Ripple?" podcast, David explores how simple, intentional acts of mindfulness can help individuals focus on their values, recognize their lasting impact (their "ripples"), and stay grounded amidst societal turbulence.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Pebble Ritual: Mindful Weekly Reflection

• David describes a ritual he began a few years ago: collecting a jar of natural pebbles, each representing a week of his life into the future.
• Every week, he places one pebble in his pocket as a tangible reminder of his values and the kind of person he wants to be.
• At the end of the week, he disposes of the pebble—ideally in a natural body of water—after reflecting on how well he lived up to his ideals. The ripples created symbolize the effects of his actions.
• The ritual underscores the finite nature of time and the impossibility of reclaiming spent weeks, encouraging mindfulness and intentionality.

“At the beginning of each week, I take a pebble and I put it in my pocket... It's kind of a reminder of who I want to be, how do I want to behave in life, what are some things I aspire to. A little reminder that's always there.”
— David Beckemeyer (02:29)

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Ripples as Metaphor: Impact and Presence

• Tossing a pebble into still water generates visible ripples, representing the tangible and intangible ways we affect the world and those around us.
• David recounts a moment when the stream was extraordinarily still, allowing him to observe the pebble’s ripples for a long distance—an experience that deepened the metaphor.
• The phenomenon suggests that in moments of calm (versus chaos), our actions can have clearer, greater impact.

“When you're not throwing it into a storm... you can see your impact.”
— David Beckemeyer (04:50)

• JJ responds positively, appreciating the practical and metaphorical beauty of the ritual, and relates it to his own theme of making positive ripples in the world.

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Facing Transience and Embracing Presence

• David addresses potential sadness in the ritual—what happens when the pebbles run out? He reframes it as a motivation to appreciate the preciousness of time and to live intentionally.
• He highlights the importance of recognizing that past weeks (pebbles) cannot be reclaimed, reinforcing the need to act mindfully in the present.

“To me, that pebble represents a week I could never get back... You can't get it back. They're gone forever.”
— David Beckemeyer (05:52)

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Values and Reflection: A Psychological Anchor

• David ties his ritual to neuroscience and psychology: knowing one’s values is crucial for making good decisions and mitigating stress.
• Frequent reflection (prompted by the pebble) keeps his life aligned to his values—something often neglected due to distraction and busyness.

“If we don't really understand our values, it's hard... How can you make a decision about things if you don't really understand yourself well enough? And so this little ritual makes me revisit that more often than we usually do.”
— David Beckemeyer (06:42)

• JJ affirms, noting how quickly one can become lost without self-clarity, and praises the ripple ritual as a grounding mechanism.

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The Ongoing Power of Ripples and Community

• Inspired by JJ, David now incorporates reflection on the kind of “ripple” he has made each week into his ritual.
• JJ expresses gratitude for having a positive influence on David, reinforcing the episode’s broader message that small, mindful actions add up to meaningful change.

“I'm glad I'm making a ripple in your life.”
— JJ (08:34)

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Reminders on Impermanence and Letting Go

• Both hosts touch on the impermanent nature of things, emphasizing the need not to get too attached to any one week, moment, or material object.

“Don't get too attached to anything because it's all temporary.”
— JJ (08:58)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “It’s a big piece that... the pebble represents a week I could never get back.” — David Beckemeyer (05:52)
• “If we don’t really understand our values, it’s hard... This little ritual makes me revisit that more often than we usually do.” — David Beckemeyer (06:41)
• “I just watched those ripples—for as long as I can—and kind of think about that reflection.” — David Beckemeyer (03:37)
• "I'm glad I'm making a ripple in your life." — JJ (08:34)
• “Don't get too attached to anything because it's all temporary.” — JJ (08:58)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:57 Host introduces purpose of bonus episode and pebble story.
• 01:45 David begins explaining the pebble ritual.
• 02:29–03:55 Details of the weekly pebble practice and significance of the ripples.
• 04:50 Reflection on the metaphor of still water and clarity of impact.
• 06:28–07:53 How the ritual helps with self-understanding and decision-making.
• 08:09–08:34 David incorporates new elements into his ritual after meeting JJ.
• 08:58 Discussion of impermanence and letting go.

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Episode Takeaways

• Simple, physical rituals can serve as powerful reminders to act in alignment with our values and be conscious of our impact on others.
• Moments of calm offer the greatest clarity on the subtleties of our influence ("ripples").
• Mindfulness about the fleeting nature of time provides motivation to live intentionally, fostering emotional resilience and personal accountability, especially in high-conflict environments.
• Reflection, community, and a willingness to examine one's own values are essential in counteracting the outrage and polarization amplified by media and technology.

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For more insights and updates, visit outrageoverload.net or follow David Beckemeyer's newsletter.

Transcript

[David Beckmeier]

Welcome to Outrage Overload, a science podcast

about outrage and lowering the temperature. Hey, everyone. I'm your host, David Beckmeier, and I've got something a little different for you today. This is a special bonus episode featuring a conversation I had on another podcast called what's your ripple? Now, if you're a regular listener of Outrage Overload, you know, we talk a lot about the forces that drive outrage and division, but we also explore ways to stay grounded, stay mindful, and push back against that toxic cycle. In this episode, I share a personal practice I use to stay focused on my values. A simple ritual involving Pebbles that serves as a reminder of the impact we all have. It's about being intentional with our time, recognizing the ripples we create and making sure they reflect the kind of person we want to be.

Here we go.

I hope you enjoy it.

[JJ]

So the other day, we were on a meetup with Dave Campbell from what's for how to Podcast series, and you had mentioned a story about Pebbles. And you know me, I'm a. I'm a ripple guy. I always say that we all put out ripples, be it positive or negative, and. And I like to put out positive ripples in. But what you shared really brings home that effect and how we can embrace that to live our best present moment, our best fullest potential of who we are today. And if you would please, Dave, please share that story with me. With us.

[David Beckmeier]

Yeah. So, you know, this is probably a little different than some of your other ripple stories because this one is sort of a literal ripple, and then. But then it's also kind of a metaphor, you know, for, as you say, so. So, yeah, it was a few years ago now. I. I was thinking about this idea and I.

And I.

And I put it together, and what I did is I actually went out and counted pebbles. So I counted out pebbles to a certain time in the future. We don't have to go to specific details, but I pound out, account a pebble, one pebble per week. So I counted out those weeks, and I put all those pebbles in a jar. So first of all, they're just natural little pebbles.

They're like, not.

There's nothing special about the pebbles, really. I mean, and they're also. I thought they're. I didn't want a man made thing.

I wanted, like something from nature.

So I got these pebbles, I put them in a jar, and then what I do at the beginning of each week is I take a pebble and I put it in my pocket, and now it's there. And during the week, I kind of have that pebble. I can always feel it and kind of tumble it in my fingers, and it's always right there. It's kind of a reminder of kind of who I want to be, you know, how do I want to behave in life, what are some things I aspire to, things like that. A little reminder that's always there. And then at the end of each week, I take that pebble and I dispose of it, you know, in nature somewhere. And usually my ideal place is. Is a body of water of some kind. So like a little stream or a pond or something like that. And I kind of do a little ritual where I kind of reflect and. On how did I do this week for those. Those values? And, and, and, and. And living my. Living those values, how did I do? Was I kind to people? Did I listen more than I talked? And that's this kind of thing, right? And I just kind of go through that and, and how to do that week. And. And then I. And then I tossed the pebble into that body of water. And what happens when you toss a pebble into a body of water, right? I mean, you get those literal ripples, and then I just kind of watch that pebble, you know, get lost in the water and sink down and. And I watch the. I watch the ripples for as long as I can and kind of think about that reflection. And, you know, one thing that I talked about, I thought was interesting that I really noticed the other day is for whatever reason, I was disposing my pebble really early in the morning, and the little stream was just still. Like, usually there's some flow, but at that day, it was just the stillest thing. It just looked like it almost surreal how still it was. And I just really noticed when I put that pebble that day, the ripples you could see for so long, right? You could. I just watched those ripples. They just. You could see this ripple go so far away down that stream because it was so still. When it's running fast, my ripple kind of gets lost in the noise of the stream, right? So there's some kind of metaphor there, too, about. About, you know, at some point when we're able to. I don't know, there's something there. I don't know exactly what it is, but something along those lines that when, you know, you're able to make an impact in a more calmer situation, I think that impact can be much greater. And you can see it more when you're not throwing it into a Storm.

Right.

You can see your impact. And so, yeah, it is that literal, you know, ripple. But then those ripples are sort of a metaphor for how. How did I do that week? And a big piece of it is people say, well, isn't this kind of sad? Like, what's going to happen when you run out of pebbles? Well, nothing's going to necessarily happen, but at the same time, if I'm able to throw out all those pebbles and go through you know, those many weeks, I'll figure I'll have lived a pretty good life. Right. Whichever way it goes. And, you know, my family will be happy if I just. They'll be happy if I dispose every one of those pebbles. Right, Right. And I don't talk about to people how many there are, what, what. How far it goes out in the future, anything. But, you know, that's kind of where I'm at with it. It's not like I'm saying on that day, I'm done. Right. But who knows what happens on the last pebble? But if I throw the last pebble out, I'll feel pretty good about that. And the other piece about it that I like to think about is that for me, it's a big piece that. And the other piece that kind of counters this idea wasn't this sad in some way, is that, you know, to me, that pebble represents a week I could never get back. Right. So I think that's important to realize that, you know, we can't make it up later. You know what I mean? With that time is gone, and whatever I said is. Said I can't take it back, all that kind of thing. Whatever I did, I did, and I can't take that back either. So, you know, that to me, that keeps. Keeps. Helps. Tries to keep me more mindful about things that, you know, this week and also make how precious this time is. Right. How many weeks we have and what we can do with each of those weeks. And. And like I said, you can't get it back. It's not like I can just, you know, magically pull some of the pebbles back and get those weeks back. They're gone forever.

[JJ]

Right, Right. That's beautiful. That is really, really beautiful.

[David Beckmeier]

Well, I mean, one thing. Yeah, thank you. And one thing I, you know, and I'm not saying I have all the answers, by the way. Like, sometimes I have bad weeks. Right.

[JJ]

But.

[David Beckmeier]

But, you know, I mean, one thing about it that I was thinking about, that that was kind of a driver for this, too, is kind of the. The neuroscience and the psychology around that, you know, we. If we don't really appre. Understand our values, it's hard to. Makes everything else difficult. Like, how can you make a decision about things if you don't really understand yourself well enough? And so this little ritual makes me revisit that more often than we usually do.

Right.

Because we don't like those questions. They're kind of hard questions.

Right. What.

What are my values? How. What do I really stand for? Who do I want to be? And we don't. We don't touch on that enough because we're busy scrolling on social media. We're, you know, doing all these distractions that we have every day to distract us from those kind of questions. So taking the time to do that ritual, for me, as a way to also kind of counter all those possible distractions and make me think, spend a little time at least going. Revisiting all that, and just. Is it even. Am I consistent with it? Are these even the values I still, you know, hold or whatever, you know, And I've done. I've looked at so much research about that that we all need to do that so much more, because without that grounding, it's just so hard. No wonder we're stressed out, because we don't even know what we want.

[JJ]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, totally. If we're not focused, if we don't know what we want, we're lost. And. Yeah. And the pebble effect, that. That ripple effect and the pebble. Beautiful. I love that.

[David Beckmeier]

You know, another thing I guess I'll start doing in my ritual more. And I actually have done this since talking to you and meeting. Meeting. Meeting you and. And learning about your show. I. I do do this more. It wasn't part of my ritual before, but when as I'm watching that ripple, I'm thinking about what was my ripple this week like, you know, as I kind of added that to my ritual, and I'm going to keep doing that more. So every time I see you in the meetup we talked about, I always go, oh, yeah, JJ and the ripple, man. I gotta really focus on that.

[JJ]

Well, thanks. I appreciate it. I'm glad I'm making a ripple in your life.

[David Beckmeier]

Right? Yeah.

[JJ]

Yeah. That's beautiful.

[David Beckmeier]

You know, one aspect I really like about, you know, that the idea of the pebble and starting with a new one is that notion that we have to remember, you know, time is fleeting and. And you know, that. Really focus on now. Right. More. Because don't get too attached to this rock.

[JJ]

No, yeah, yeah. Don't get too attached to anything because it's all temporary.

[David Beckmeier]

Yeah.

[JJ]

Yeah. And yeah. Well, cool. Thank you David for sharing that beautiful idea and I hope the listener takes a little bit out of it and actually adopt adopts the pebble a week idea for yourself and realize that life is fleeting, it's disappearing. We are all rushing to the end of it. It's nice to take time and pause, Love yourself and be aware of your ripple that you are putting out there in the world. Because we are all making ripples indeed. Yes sir. Well, thank you sir. I appreciate your time.

[David Beckmeier]

Thank you so much. I appreciate you having me on.

A big thank you to JJ for having me on what's your ripple?

I really appreciated the chance to reflect

on the ripples we all create. JJ is doing incredible work, not just with his podcast, but also with Ripple Retreat. After a remarkable 27 years in the military, he's still dedicated to serving now by helping others thrive. Definitely. Check out what's yous Ripple and learn more about ripple [e-mail].

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