← Overcoming Distractions-Thriving with ADHD, ADD
Overcoming Distractions-Thriving with ADHD, ADD
Building Awareness & Clarity as a Busy Adult with ADHD
00:21:02
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- [00:08]
A
I'm Dave Greenwood and this is Overcoming Distractions. If you are an adult with adhd, a busy professional, an entrepreneur, a high achiever, or just need some strategies to navigate your adult adhd, you're in the right place. Who am I? I'm an entrepreneur with ADHD and the author of two books, Overcoming Distract and Overcoming Burnout. I coach and mentor people just like you and together we navigate the ups and downs of adult adhd, from getting out of our own way to helping people just like you thrive in the workplace. That's what I do. Want more info on working with me? Hit overcoming distractions.com ready? Let's get to today's podcast.
- [01:03]
B
All right, what is going on? All my distracted friends, welcome back to Overcoming Distractions. You are on the podcast that is dedicated to you, the busy professional, the high achiever, the person who wants more. And you just might have adhd or you think you might have adhd. Like I said before, you don't need a piece of paper to join us here. So again, welcome. I'm glad you've joined us. If you're new, glad you could make it. If you're a long time listener and connoisseur of chatting about ADHD and the busy life, then I'm glad you're back again. So hey, let's talk about awareness and another one of my favorite words, which is clarity today, because I don't think we can talk enough about this. I think there are a few things that are the foundation of thriving as that busy person with adhd. That's everything from, you know, your health and wellness, your exercise, you know, quieting your mind down, occasionally getting to the gym, having some fun. But I think awareness and clarity is an area that continues to be worth our time and energy. I've said this before, but I'm going to publicly say it again. When I wrote the book Overcoming Distractions, I did not spend nearly enough time on the subject of awareness. Now I'm going to defend myself for a second here. I had to write the book very quickly because there was a miscommunication with the publisher and all of a sudden I was thrown into writing a book in very short time and I was a first time author. Now I've written, I was a PR guy, marketing, I wrote a lot for clients but never really wrote a book or did like extensive. So but that being said, I should have spent much more time on getting to know ourselves because I think it is one of the mission critical parts of growing and thriving and being fulfilled as an Adult with adhd. And you know what, it can be cliche, but we can't change or adjust things or adjust course if we don't understand that we're doing them or not doing them for some of us, right? We need to understand our individual relationship with adhd. We need to own our adhd. Yes, you heard me. We need to own our adhd. Whether you like that or not. I don't care if you're a kid, the college kid, or the CEO or the business owner, we need to own it. We need to know when we have energy or the things we need to compensate for or protect ourselves. That's a big theme with me, protecting myself from myself. We need to understand that if this certain thing isn't in its place, then I might forget it. If it's not on the calendar, I'm not showing up. If it's not on the shopping list, I ain't buying it. You get what I'm talking about, right? So I wanted to do Dave's version. A little bit of a crash course in awareness and clarity, given my experience in this area as a busy adult, as a person who was an executive running a PR agency for 20 years and having an ADHD brain, because I think this is the foundation, this is the basics. It's ADHD 101. I think whatever you want to call it, we need to constantly be taking some inventory of ourselves and it's how we grow, it's how we thrive. Life changes, business changes. And I think it's something we need to consistently revisit in order to, as they say in boxing, bob and weave. So I feel a lot hinges on these few bullet points that I've put together. So I want to, I want to run through these with you. So first, if you are that busy person with ADHD, the CEO, the PhD, the marketing executive, the business developer, whoever you are, if you feel like you need somebody to kind of work these things through, you need some buddy by your side to problem solve, to chat about things. You need somebody that gets you just go to the website, overcoming distractions.com, hit that 15 minute call button. Let's book a time, let's chat, let's see if we can work together. So next, if you think you got it together and you love the content here, you love listening to it, it's helped you. You can buy me a coffee or you can buy me three coffees or five coffees and you've heard me before, I don't even speak to my family in the morning without drinking my coffee. So just hit buymeacoffee.com overcomingd buymeacoffee.com OvercomingD and that will help support the production of this podcast in a meaningful way. So.
- [07:10]
A
All right, cool.
- [07:11]
B
Hey, why I think awareness is. That starting point is you really can't fix what you can't see, right? And I think awareness becomes that little bit of a glimpse or doorway to all that meaningful change that you desire. This is why working with somebody such as a mentor or a coach can help. Maybe it's a trusted friend. I know some people like that. Body doubling or accountability partner, whatever it might be, right? Working with the right person may just help you build a little bit more awareness. Sitting in a quiet room does too. I think many of us adults with adhd, we kind of operate in survival mode, right? So pausing long enough to observe any type of patterns or things that we're doing or getting in our way or how we operate, I think it's a. That's a. That's a powerful first win for us and we should take that. Problem solving with some help, as I said, could be the next step in your journey, as they say. So awareness also helps you separate the. The wiring of our ADHD brain from what you think are, like, personal flaws. And I think that little bit of a shift in how we think is going to actually go a long way in reducing your shame, and it's going to help you increase agency over your days and your hours and your weeks and your life, etc. So I also think we need to really spend a lot of time in two areas. One is identifying the strengths of our adhd, and the second is understanding the challenges. I really believe. And if you just think about it for a minute, ADHD isn't just deficits. Right. As the name would indicate. You know, there's been a lot of chatter about changing the name of adhd. I'll leave that to people smarter than me. But we do have strengths. We have high energy, we're creative, we're resilient. We see things other people don't. And if you're in that camp, hyper focus, right? I prefer flow, but you. You do. You. So some of these things and many others that I haven't mentioned can be assets when we use them intentionally and we're in the right environment and we're actually allowed to do these things. So think about it. Many people come to me and say, dave, I'm having trouble with these areas. What if you said, dave, I want to do more of X, Y and Z. Because that's what I'm good at. So just thinking out loud here now, understanding your challenge patterns. And you probably know the list, but you know our relationship with time, time blindness, initiating tasks, how we get overwhelmed, the emotional dysregulation, think, you know, controls a lot of our ADHD lives, procrastination, you name it. Organization. When you understand these challenges, it helps you create those kind of strategies that work for you. So couple questions. Which strengths have helped you succeed despite adhd? Look back, I always say, you know, what used to work before, Maybe you're onto something. And the other thing is what challenges drain you daily, right? I mean, can you look back and go, you know what, When I do this or I do that, it just. The life gets sucked out of me. So these are some simple questions I think to ask yourself next time you're in a quiet space. And I do recommend that quiet space on a regular basis. So I think we also need to pinpoint some of the pain points when it comes to our relationship with work and home life and family. Right? Look for those friction points, the parts of the day or the week where things consistently fall apart. Is stress coming from your workload, the type of work, the expectations, the unclear priorities? Maybe you're saying yes too often. Maybe you do have trouble saying no. Is it coming from home? Is it coming from family? Are you in a caregiving situation where you're already tired and now you're trying to meet the high demands of your career or running a business, etc. Etc. Is there a day during the week where your energy just falls off the cliff? Maybe we get a good running start on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. We're looking for the door, you know, I mean, identifying these pain points I think gives you a little bit of a roadmap to explore some change rather than just dwelling on a list of failures. Now, I've been there. I still catch myself sometimes. Okay, none of us are perfect. But continuing to remind ourselves that awareness and clarity and continuing to explore how we operate I think is just something we need to do. And you can start to figure out when you do this on a regular basis, how to kind of take back some control. Sometimes we set some systems, they work really good, then life happens and the shit hits the fan, right? So next you've got to have some awareness about your current systems or lack of systems, right? Many adults like us with adhd, we rely on some type of memory, adrenaline, coffee, right. Urgency and not systems. You know, the age old. I've heard it more than a million times. About how many of us went to college and we cranked out that paper and pulled the all nighter and you know, put it on the professor's desk at 8am Right? And didn't sleep. So we've all been there. We've done that with work too, right? We put things off and put things off. So we got to understand our systems, or lack of systems. We have to assess how we get shit done. We need to reveal those gaps. Do you have systems for capturing tasks? I don't care if it's a napkin, a legal pad, whether you're using some electronic device, it's a whiteboard, I don't care. Do you have something, does it work? Do you have a calendar that you actually use? I know that's the simplest age old advice, use your calendar. But can you use it better? There's many ways that I've worked with people where we kind of figure out how to use the calendar a little better. And that comes in, you know, blocking out time, Understanding the flow of our week, ways to manage our energy and not just our time, which kind of gives us a little more cadence in our week. Right? When we are aware of these, whether they happen or not, we can think about the systems that you might need, right? Maybe you've abandoned something. Why did we abandon it oftentimes? Maybe the system wasn't designed for your ADHD brain or your current circumstances. Maybe what worked last year or two years ago, before you had kids doesn't work now, right? So this is not, you know, there was a infomercial here in the United States, but I think it was an oven or something. It was like set it and forget it or something like that. I don't know what it was. We can't set it and forget it. It doesn't work that way. So next you have to be aware of the compassion you're giving yourself. Those of us with ADHD often have a lifetime of criticism, right? Those bad report cards. Then we brought the bad report cards home and we know what happened. Some of us kicked ass in school and we got criticism somewhere else. All right, so I'm, I'm the first half, okay? And I laugh at my report cards sometimes now, but it wasn't laughing back in the day. Then we internalize that failure, right? It's that harsh self talk. It blocks progress. And it blocks progress more than the symptoms themselves, right? You know, talking shit about ourselves just drains us. I mean, so introducing some self compassion, give yourself some grace, cut yourself some slack. I think can actually enhance our performance and our ability to have more agency over a week and thrive and be fulfilled, etc. So clarity, I think, improves when you kind of stop beating yourself up and start to observe yourself and not really being a judge. So. And I think that's important. Next, when it comes to awareness, let's talk about some realistic expectations. There is no bulletproof system or, quite frankly, way of living a life as an adult with adhd. We just got to continue to understand that this is the brain we were given and we're gonna work with it. And maybe we need to try a little differently, sometimes not harder differently. Those of us who may be high achievers or want to do more or in demanding careers, I think sometimes we expect instant or even dramatic change. Then we kind of feel defeated when we don't see the progress we thought we should have. You know, that's why we've tried 20 different types of to do lists in our minds. They've all failed. Right? And I don't know if that sounds like anybody, you know, but many of us have been there. So we need to focus on the idea of those little kind of micro changes or micro adjustments or tweaks. And that's why those 1 2% improvements, moving the needle just a little bit in your favor, I think, works over time, and it's something we can stick with. I love Tony Robbins. He's very motivational. But talking about massive action doesn't really work for many of us, so it doesn't stick for many of us. Sometimes clarity and awareness build slowly, and that's okay. That's totally cool. So, and I think lastly, we need to rebuild some trust with ourselves, and that comes with awareness, right? The action builds trust. That trust, I think, builds a little confidence in us, and that's going to come from that awareness, and that's continuing to revisit how, why, when we do things, etc. Start with the small commitments. You got to have some awareness about this rather than these ambitious promises. The massive action, right, that's not going to work. Forget the New Year shit. That doesn't work. Just forget it. My New Year's used to be April when we went on vacation. So, you know, or different times of the year, okay, you make it what you will. When we gain that awareness and the clarity and we find the mix of tactics and strategies and energy and etc. That work for us, that's when we begin to trust ourselves. So part of this podcast and me even working with many of you individually, is hopefully helping you rebuild that trust with yourself. And I have to continue to do it too. Don't think I'm this guru sitting on a mountain. I'm not. I'm an entrepreneur with ADHD who's just kind of learned some street smart here. So sometimes awareness only comes by talking it out with somebody who gets you right. And if that sounds like you just hit the website, book a quick call. 15 minute chat. We're going to hop on Zoom. We're going to see if we're a good fit. I'm going to tell you whether I can help you in your journey or not. And if that's the case, then we take it to the next step. But no pressure at all. So cool. All right.
- [20:33]
A
I hope that helped.
- [20:34]
B
Awareness, clarity, two of the biggest words that you need to continue to remind yourself of daily. So hit overcoming distractions.com if you want to chat with me, book a call and we're gonna catch you next time, gang.