Podcast Summary: Overcoming Distractions – Thriving with ADHD

Episode: Navigating Life's Complexities with Adult ADHD
Host: David A Greenwood
Guest: Lisa Kander (Lawyer, Coach, Autism Mom)
Date: December 12, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, host David Greenwood sits down with Lisa Kander—a lawyer, mom to an autistic child, and ADHD coach—to explore the real-life challenges of managing adult ADHD amid demanding personal and professional responsibilities. The conversation centers on navigating daily complexities, emotional regulation, self-compassion, and practical strategies, specifically for those who are juggling caregiving, careers, and their own neurodivergent minds.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Personal Strategies for Thriving with ADHD

• Custom Approaches are Essential
  • Dave emphasizes the importance of meeting people where they are, rather than using a one-size-fits-all method:

    “When you’re an adult with ADHD and a busy career, those of us who help others need to meet people where they are.” [01:41]

Sensory Tools & Coping with Overstimulation

• Lisa’s Top Survival Tool:
  Lisa values her AirPods for both focus and self-regulation:

  “It helps me escape a little bit...and I have come to learn that I am really sound sensitive, which is ironic because I’m also a very loud person...having those AirPods nearby has really helped me to regulate myself quicker.” [04:13]

  • Dave echoes this need, preferring noise-cancelling headphones and dead silence, highlighting how different sensory environments can impact productivity. [05:27]

Unique ADHD Experiences & Late Diagnosis

• The Journey to Understanding ADHD
  • Lisa’s diagnosis was unexpected and initiated by her son’s therapist:

    “ADHD was 100% not on my radar...I remember saying to my son’s therapist...‘Is this like perimenopause? What’s happening?’ And she says to me, ‘Well, you do realize you have ADHD.’ And it was just like one of those things where it was like the lights went on...” [07:08]

  • Many adults only recognize ADHD after witnessing their child’s diagnosis or through family feedback.

Core Challenges Faced

• Emotional Regulation

  • Intense emotional responses and personalizing her child’s dysregulation were frequent struggles:

    “...the intensity with which I was feeling things, how personally I was taking my son’s behavior. I was really struggling with that.” [09:32]

• Time Management Difficulties

  • Traditional “productivity tips” often fell short due to the all-or-nothing urgency and problems with transitioning between tasks:

    “I was able to get things done but...everything felt like it had to be done right away. And then...nothing got done.” [09:32]

• Embarrassment Over Perceived Failures

  • Missing meetings, losing track of time, led to shame and confusion:

    “Ten minutes into it, someone’s IMing me, ‘Are you joining this meeting?’...What’s wrong with me?” [10:32]

Navigating Burnout and Juggling Responsibilities

• Dave notes that many bring home stress to work and vice versa, but for caregivers, home stress dominates:

  “A lot of us are bringing our home complexities into the workplace, right?” [12:37]

• Lisa describes periods where her son’s crises dominated, requiring frank discussions with employers and colleagues:

  “I really had to be transparent with my colleagues and my employer...here’s also what the limitations are at the moment. And that was a really scary place to be...” [13:51]

Adapting and Finding Self-Compassion

• Radical Self-Compassion

  • Lisa had to consciously direct the empathy she gave her son toward herself:

    “...the idea that I was dealing with something similar, it was like, how could I take that same level of compassion and acceptance of his struggles and apply it to myself? And I’ll tell you, that did not come naturally.” [17:19]

• Understanding Lived Capacity

  • Accepting one’s limits and letting go of perfection were crucial to surviving tough phases.
  • Sometimes, “good enough” is truly enough.

Parenting Through Your Own Wiring

• Lisa stresses recognizing and accommodating one’s ADHD “wiring” rather than fighting against it:

  “I think what I meant about parenting through your own wiring is this sort of respect for how your wiring is playing into it...” [21:37]

  • Awareness allowed Lisa to plan self-regulation strategies and avoid escalating situations with her son.

• Dave adds that having a child with strict schedules can sometimes motivate better habits:

  “...having a son that needed to get out the door on time so he wasn’t late for school was a positive aspect...” [20:30]

Real-Time Emotional Regulation & Dysregulation

• Emotional Contagion

  • Recognizing that emotions, especially dysregulation, are contagious and that keeping oneself “one notch below” the escalation can prevent blowouts:

    “If my son’s tension is rising and he’s at an 8, I don’t want to meet him at the 8.” [24:37]

• Dealing with Guilt and Shame

  • Lisa openly discusses her guilt after emotional outbursts and the long path to forgiveness and growth:

    “I’d have one of those outbursts and I’d spend...hours or days, feeling guilty and beating myself up. And it didn’t make it easier the next time.” [27:16]

Memorable Quotes

• Lisa, on self-compassion:

  “How can I bring that level of love and compassion understanding that I give to my child...to myself?” [17:19]

• Dave, on the uniqueness of ADHD:

  “There’s no one like playbook for ADHD.” [06:20]

• Lisa, on transparency:

  “I really had to be transparent with my colleagues and my employer...here’s what I’ll try to do and I will do my best...but here’s...the limitations.” [13:51]

• Lisa, on finding support:

  “It’s really important to find people who understand...because [with ADHD] everything seems to be going well for you to be like, is this really ADHD or am I just making excuses?” [28:02]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [04:13] – Lisa’s essential tool for self-regulation: AirPods and sound management
• [07:08] – Lisa’s path to ADHD diagnosis (and impact of family experience)
• [09:32] – Emotional regulation and time management as key challenges
• [12:37] – Layered stress: Bringing “home” burnout into work
• [13:51] – Navigating work during family crises: Embracing transparency
• [17:19] – Radical compassion: From child to self
• [21:37] – Parenting through your own neurodivergent wiring
• [24:37] – Emotional contagion and “catching” dysregulation in the moment
• [28:02] – Importance of finding understanding, supportive networks

Takeaways & Advice

• Recognize that ADHD presents uniquely in every individual—there is no universal management strategy.
• Self-compassion isn’t automatic; it must be practiced intentionally, especially if you extend it easily to others but not yourself.
• Be transparent about your limitations, especially when personal crises intersect with work responsibilities.
• Emotional dysregulation is contagious; learning to downshift and remain grounded can help break reactive cycles.
• Find a supportive community (coaches, therapists, or peers) who truly understand ADHD from the inside out—and don’t dismiss your struggles just because you seem "high-functioning" on the outside.

Connect with Lisa Kander

• Instagram & Facebook: @theautismmomcoach
• Website: theautismmomcoach.com
• Podcast: The Autism Mom Coach

This episode offers honest, relatable wisdom for adults with ADHD facing the dual storms of work and caregiving. Listeners will find practical, compassionate strategies and validation in Lisa’s story, as well as encouragement to honor their limits and seek truly understanding support.