Podcast Summary: Overcoming Distractions - Thriving with ADHD & ADD

Episode: Stop "Performing" and Live with Intention as an Adult ADHD

Host: David A Greenwood
Guest: Cindy Frechette, Mindset Coach, Therapist, Adult with ADHD
Release Date: January 16, 2026

Main Theme

This episode dives into how adults with ADHD, particularly busy professionals and entrepreneurs, can move beyond simple productivity hacks or “performing” for others and instead live with alignment and intention. Dave welcomes Cindy Frechette to introduce "The Unknown Method," a framework she developed that blends lived ADHD experience, therapeutic models, neuroscience, and coaching to address mental chaos, overthinking, and burnout—challenges that extend beyond typical to-do lists or one-size-fits-all advice.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Importance of Lived Experience in ADHD Support

• Dave emphasizes value in working with mentors and coaches who not only understand but have lived ADHD experience, over those who just “know the manual”:

  “I've heard more times from people that they said they worked with a therapist and, and they're like, oh well, have you tried making a to do list? And it's like they just don't get me.” (05:24)

• Cindy builds on this, noting the importance of going beyond surface-level strategies:

  "People who are living these really busy lives, high achievers, entrepreneurs managing home life, business, they need more than a to do list." (05:53)

The Unknown Method: Framework Overview (06:59)

Three Steps:

1. Unravel – Identify and unpack background thought patterns, often unconscious, including overthinking and perfectionism.
2. Rebuild – Reconstruct relationships with oneself and others from a more authentic understanding.
3. Reclaim – Take back time and energy, acting without guilt, based on clarified personal values.

“We start with unravel, rebuild, reclaim... unraveling the thoughts, the thought patterns...then rebuild our relationships...and then reclaim our time and energy without guilt.” – Cindy (08:22)

Deep Dive: Unravel Step

• Unconscious Thought Patterns:

  “Our brains have something about 80,000 thoughts a day and we're only aware of 3,000...and those unknown thoughts are the ones that are running the show.” – Cindy (09:25)

• Overthinking as Survival:

  “Our overthinking is really meant as a protective factor...that survival skill and that fight or flight response is very strong.” (10:30)

Memorable Tool:
The “thought dump”—writing down every thought on a topic for 3-5 minutes, then distinguishing facts from opinions.
“Write a topic...set a timer three to five minutes. Write every single thing that pops into your brain...then...start to pick out what is a fact and what is an opinion.” (12:38)

Rebuild & Reclaim: Tying It to Values

• Values as Decision-Making Anchors:

  “This takes it to a deeper level and really starts matching our values...helps us make those decisions.” (15:43)

• Values Change Over Time:

  "Your values change. I very frequently recommend people reevaluate every three to six months." (17:57)

Identity and Role-Performance:
Many with ADHD “perform” out of obligation or survival mode—acting from what’s expected rather than what’s authentic: “A lot of times we're performing rather than living.” – Cindy (19:21)
“It’s really looking at where we're putting our identity. Like, are we the helper? Are we the leader? How much of our identity is being tied to that and is that authentic to who we are...?” (20:12)

Breaking the Cycle of Performing

• Host Dave’s Reflection:
  “A lot of us are...challenged with actually feeling present in the moment...maybe it is survival mode, maybe it’s constantly putting out fires...operating out of fear [and] urgency.” (22:16)

• Cindy’s Advice:
  Use mindful thought tracking—a triad model:

  “Our thoughts create our feelings, which create our actions...if we are aware, you know, of that feeling...reverse engineering...How do I want to be feeling? Let's really create thoughts that support that.” (23:35)

• Don’t Mask All the Time:
  It’s okay to “perform” in some contexts (e.g. customer service voice) but essential to find spaces to unmask:

  “What's important, though, is we don't stay that way in all of our spaces that we give ourselves a space to unmask and be who we are to prevent some of that burnout.” (26:30)

Burnout & Misalignment

• Misconceptions about burnout (not just overwork, but misalignment with values):

  “But people don't understand that… burnout for many of us can be a misalignment of values. It just gnaws at us.” – Dave (26:53)

• For ADHD, it’s also about when and how you work:

  “...people who have ADHD...we're all very aware of the times that our brains work better and it's important to maximize that time...we're not assigning the wrong thought to taking those actions.” – Cindy (27:24)

Practical Reset and Next Steps

• The Reset Tool:
  Cindy offers digital tools to guide listeners through the Unravel process and thoughtful reset. (29:00)

  “These are quick, simple, easily accessible tools for the busy professional who wants to lead without overthinking...” (30:33)

• Ideal User:
  Anyone busy, burnt out, or craving more energy and presence, especially professionals and entrepreneurs with ADHD.

• Key Self-Reflection Questions: (31:58)

  1. “What am I making this mean right now?”
  2. “Is this an opinion or is this factual?”

  “If we ask ourselves good questions, we get good answers, but if we ask ourselves bad questions, we get bad answers.” – Cindy (31:58)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dave on ADHD lived experience:

  "Some people might have done okay as an adult with ADHD and they go out and try and help people. There's other people that go out and maybe get a coaching certification that don't have so much of that lived experience..." (04:30)

• Cindy on why thought exercises matter:

  "Even that [writing 'I don't know why I'm doing this'] is a critical piece of information." (11:58)

• On masking in professional life:

  “There are times we have to have...our customer service voice on. But what's important, though, is we don't stay that way in all of our spaces..." – Cindy (26:30)

• On unlearning and intention in ADHD life:

  “A lot of times we're performing rather than living.” – Cindy (19:35)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:52] – Guest intro: Cindy’s background and ADHD lived experience
• [05:53] – Origins of The Unknown Method & why ADHD adults need more than to-do lists
• [06:59] – Overview of The Unknown Method (Unravel, Rebuild, Reclaim)
• [09:25] – The “Unravel” pillar & the role of unconscious thought patterns
• [12:36] – The “thought dump” tool explained
• [15:26] – Cognitive Restructuring vs. The Unknown Method
• [17:57] – How and why to reevaluate your values
• [19:21] – Performing vs. living: Tying self-worth to role, identity, and ADHD masking
• [23:35] – The thoughts-feelings-actions triad & mindful self-awareness
• [26:53] – Misconceptions about burnout and misalignment with values
• [29:00] – The Reset tool and practical strategies
• [31:58] – Two key self-awareness questions for listeners

Further Resources & Contact

• Cindy’s Tools: Stan Store – stanstore.com/unknowithcindy
• Instagram: @unknowwithCindy
• Email: cindy@know.method.com

“If we ask ourselves good questions, we get good answers, but if we ask ourselves bad questions, we get bad answers.”
— Cindy Frechette, Mindset Coach (32:08)