Podcast Summary: Overcoming Distractions – Thriving with ADHD, ADD

Episode: When ADHD Stops Being the Excuse – From Complaining to Commanding
Host: David A. Greenwood
Date: December 5, 2025

Overview

In this solo episode, David A. Greenwood, entrepreneur, ADHD coach, and author, addresses a topic that resonates deeply with professionals managing adult ADHD: the habit of complaining and how it can become an unintentional crutch. Dave candidly explores the tendency among ADHD adults to fall into "complaint loops," how this can lead to burnout, and most importantly, how to shift from complaining to proactive problem-solving in both business and life. Using real-life anecdotes and street-smart advice, Dave emphasizes self-reflection and practical steps for making change, not just venting about what’s difficult.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Ubiquity and Cost of Complaining (02:24–05:40)

• Who This Is For: Dave clarifies that this show focuses on adults—from business owners to executives—with ADHD or ADHD-like tendencies, not on the college or kid experience.
• The Complaints We Share: Common struggles include poor time management, low energy, lack of systems, procrastination, and frustration with oneself or others.
  • “Some of the things I feel we complain about…are certainly our own time management, our energy. Maybe it's our frustrations with our lack of systems…” (02:30)
• Personal Example: Dave recounts prolonged complaining about late payments from clients, contributing to his own burnout:
  • “I talked about people not paying me…they would go out months, I would complain endlessly...I think it's one of the things that really contributed to me feeling burned out…” (03:33)
• Complaining’s Hidden Harm: While it feels like stress relief, habitual complaining without action leads to more stress and a sense of helplessness.

The Value—And Limits—Of Complaining (05:11–09:22)

• Acknowledging the Value: Dave admits venting can spotlight issues needing attention. Recognition is a start, but action is essential.
  • “A little bit of value in complaining because it does bring to the surface things we need to work out...the things that we constantly complain about…are the things that are stressing us out.” (05:11, 05:40)
• Burnout Caution: Constant complaint without follow-through is a known cause of burnout, especially for ADHD adults balancing high workloads and life demands.
• Moving Forward: “We have to begin to become problem solvers. We have to start to think like that, and we have to turn complaining into problem solving.” (06:09)

Recognizing and Escaping the Complaint Loop (09:22–10:51)

• The Vicious Cycle: Complaining feels productive, like releasing steam, but it doesn't solve problems.
  • “Complaining often feels productive. But...it's not really gonna create any change. It feels good sometimes.” (09:22)
• Venting vs. Solving: It's crucial to differentiate between emotional venting (short-term relief) and genuine problem-solving (long-term progress).

Strategies for Change: From Complaining To Commanding (10:51–18:19)

1. Give Venting a Time Limit (10:51–11:29)
- Set boundaries (e.g., five minutes) for venting, then shift to focusing on solutions. - “Maybe you need to tell other people around you, like your spouse...if you hear me complaining and venting, maybe…call it off at five minutes and remind me that then I'm not solving the problem.” (11:08)

2. Focus on Control (11:08–11:45)
- Center attention on what you can change, not what you can't. - “You know that I love the word control. In the most respectful way. Not controlling other people, controlling what you can.” (11:29)

3. Matching Problems to Capacity (11:45–12:55)
- When overwhelmed, break problems into the smallest actionable step. - “What's the smallest possible step I could take?...Any type of momentum, I think beats artificial motivation anytime.” (12:13)

4. Reframing the Narrative (12:55–14:51)
- Move from “Why is this happening to me?” to “What’s my next move?”
- Think in terms of facts, not drama. Example: “My basement flooded. Why? Because my gutters are clogged.” (15:17)

5. Make Micro-Decisions and Take Action (14:51–17:53) - Sometimes clarity comes from doing. Motivation is the result of action, not the precursor. - “You don't need to be motivated to start. You need to start to actually be motivated.” (16:53) - Start with simple actions: one email, one conversation, one boundary.

6. Use Data and Clarity to Build Options (14:34–15:17) - Gathering facts instead of amplifying the narrative opens up new options. - “When we kind of reword this or reframe it...the factual base…creates some clarity...that clarity creates some options.” (14:51)

7. Build the Identity of ‘Problem-Solver’ (18:19–19:09) - Begin to see yourself as someone who figures things out; shift from powerless to empowered. - “Maybe tell yourself that I'm becoming somebody who figures things out. I think that's a real shift, right?” (18:19) - Many ADHD people can solve problems for others but struggle to use that superpower on themselves.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Complaining often feels productive. But…it's not really gonna create any change." — Dave (09:22)
• “We have to turn complaining into problem solving.” — Dave (06:09)
• "What's the smallest possible step I could take? ...Any type of momentum, I think, beats artificial motivation anytime." — Dave (12:13)
• “Maybe tell yourself that I'm becoming somebody who figures things out. I think that's a real shift, right?” — Dave (18:19)
• “We can go into a room, we can go into a client meeting, we can solve problems. But I think sometimes we don't actually implement this stuff for our own good and benefit.” — Dave (19:09)

Key Timestamps

• 02:24 — Introduction to today’s topic: complaining, specifically in the context of ADHD.
• 03:33 — Personal story about business, burnout, and the real cost of complaining.
• 05:11–05:40 — The value and hidden harm of complaining.
• 09:22–10:51 — Recognizing the complaint loop and the false sense of productivity.
• 11:29 — Focusing on control.
• 12:13 — Breaking down problems into actionable steps.
• 14:34–15:17 — The importance of facts and clarity.
• 16:53 — How motivation is built from action, not the other way around.
• 18:19 — Building a new self-identity as a problem-solver.
• 19:09 — Final thoughts: leveraging ADHD strengths for personal problem-solving.

Actionable Takeaways

• Notice when you're in a complaint loop; use venting as a tool, not a lifestyle.
• Set limits on venting and shift to solution-focused discussions.
• Break problems down into the smallest next step to overcome overwhelm.
• Gather facts, not stories, and reframe the way you talk about problems.
• Anchor your self-identity in being a problem-solver, not a victim of circumstance.
• Take small, concrete actions—motivation and clarity will follow.

Tone & Style

Dave’s approach is authentic, conversational, and rooted in lived experience. He shares openly about his own struggles and triumphs, making listeners feel accompanied and understood—like “having a cup of coffee or a pint” with a trusted peer. The tone is friendly, gently challenging, and always focused on real-world applicability rather than abstract theory.