Loading summary
Transcript342 lines
- [00:01]
A
Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out. I am Pablo Torre. And today we're gonna find out what this sound is.
- [00:07]
B
Yeah, it was. You know what the thing is about the poop? You would think it's all hard, but it's like, it's kind of like a souffle or a creme brulee.
- [00:16]
A
Yes.
- [00:17]
B
It's like a hard crust. And once you scoop through. Yeah. And then also once the toilet filled, they were like, oh, we're going to poop somewhere else. So there was a bathtub right after this ad. You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network. 3, 2, 1.
- [00:50]
A
That's a guy who just hosted the Daily Show. That's a clap. Professional ass clap.
- [00:54]
B
Listen, I've done the clap so many times. I've done the clap. Given the clap.
- [00:58]
A
That's right. And that's why I brought you here today. I have some medical records.
- [01:05]
B
Yes. I mean, listen, if you're trying to reach me, please reach my lawyers. Christina Bes, I don't deal with that anymore.
- [01:12]
A
I want to explain how it is that I, I, I persuaded you, begged, demanded you here. Yes. I saw you in the street.
- [01:24]
B
Literally, like, I had just landed. I'm just walking, you know, just getting brunch with a friend and I'm taking a photo because, you know, I'm a thot.
- [01:33]
A
And your arms were literally out.
- [01:36]
B
My arms were out. And, like, I just see Pablo on the corner and I'm like, my guy Pablo. And it really felt like a Sex in the City moment. Like the whole running into a friend in New York City, but that's something. You know, I was out in LA for a little bit and being back in New York, like, that's something I missed, that idea of just running into people all the time. Because, you know, even before I was on tv, I'd always run into friends no matter where I went.
- [01:57]
A
The beauty of New York is that I feel magnetically orbiting the people that I love.
- [02:03]
B
Yes. It also felt like there was a call sheet earlier in the morning. We went through hair and makeup, and we definitely set the seat up.
- [02:08]
A
We both looked.
- [02:09]
B
We have marks.
- [02:10]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to paint my perspective on this because my point of view, I was wearing sunglasses. I literally did the thing where I, like, stared at you through my sunglasses, like, drop them down on the bridge of my nose, like, did a double take.
- [02:23]
B
It felt like an 80s movie.
- [02:24]
A
It felt like an 80s movie. I felt like I was maybe hallucinating you.
- [02:28]
B
Yes. And then it's just like to run into a main Character. Like not one of those NPCs in my life, but one. Somebody who'll be in the main credits.
- [02:40]
A
Okay, so I've been waiting to do a couple of things here. Number one, I've been waiting to invoke the Pablo Explains RPG menu, which you can see on YouTube and the DraftKings network. As always off of an actual reference to RPG terminology. And yeah, non player characters, as Desus just referenced. Number two, I have been waiting for my old friend Desus. Nice. To continue this procession of New York City main characters through the Pablo Torre Finds out studio. Because Desus, you should know, is the former co host of Desus and Mero on Showtime, which we will get into. He also just hosted the Daily show last month, which was a huge deal. He also, more than anything, is someone whose previous jobs, his list of jobs before all that, before he got famous. It's been an object of personal fascination for me ever since I've known him. We'll get into that also. Not least because the story of Desus is also the story of our home, New York City, the place to which he just recently returned.
- [03:52]
B
And so I'm just sitting there at brunch and I'm just like, this city is amazing. Like, I'm sorry if I sound like someone who just listened to Empire State of Mind, but I am back in love with this city. I'm seeing rats. I'm kissing Eric Adams. I'm doing everything, baby. I might go to the Circle Line after this.
- [04:08]
A
What's La Desus like?
- [04:09]
B
La Desus is every time I talk to you, I have to remind you I'm from New York. So no matter what we're talking of, like, you could be like, my grandmother died. I was like, you know who else died? Statue of Liberty in New York. There's a statue for her. She did more than your grandma. It's that kind of stuff. Like, I just interjecting everything. And then even worse, shout out to 33 taps in Silver Lake. It's a bar that I took over. It was like during the playoffs for the Knicks, and there's one guy with a Knick shirt and he's watching it. I was like, yo, you're from New York. He's like, yeah, me and a couple of Knick fans, we always watch Knick games here. I say say less. I tweeted about it. Next game is like 10 people. Next game is like 20. By the final game, we had 60 people in that bar. All Knick fans. Let's go, Nick.
- [04:49]
A
Let's go. Nick, you formed a sleeper cell of Knick fans in Silver Lake. Listen, they had radicalizing people.
- [04:57]
B
They had babies in Knicks jumpers, they had dogs. Like, everyone was so upset. All the LA people was like, I hate this. New Yorkers. They're coming from everywhere. We're talking about, like, Hoboken in the Metro north and just doing nasty New York stuff. It felt like you were at Masters Girl Garden, like us watching the games. You know, the Knicks didn't win the playoffs, but, you know, it was good to watch them go through the playoffs together.
- [05:18]
A
Opting in to the misery of being a Knick fan and then exporting that is. Is. Is sociopathic.
- [05:26]
B
It's sociopathic, but it's also very New York.
- [05:28]
A
It is in all of those ways, self loathing, but also like unabashed. And again, you. We both know this immigrant parent love. Yes, we are furious at our child, but we know how to get the best from them.
- [05:42]
B
Yes, yes. It's like harsh love is like you have to earn a hug. And that's what we're getting with the Knicks. Actually, you know what?
- [05:49]
A
We're waiting for them to hug us back one day.
- [05:51]
B
One day, maybe on the deathbed, but you're gonna get it.
- [05:54]
A
Hopefully a single tear will roll down Jim Dolan's cheek. Man, the thing about New York, we. The seasons, the seasons, the seasons, man, have you.
- [06:06]
B
Don't take them for granted.
- [06:07]
A
Seasons, have you missed them being out there.
- [06:09]
B
The weather's always perfect when it gets warm in New York. You earned it. But we are so grateful for warmth. Our idea of like a good. If it's like 60, we lose it.
- [06:18]
A
60 is, is. Is 60.
- [06:20]
B
You're showing, you're showing your thighs, sun.
- [06:22]
A
Tanning your in Central park was rocks.
- [06:25]
B
And then it's like 90 every day in LA. And that's like, not a big deal.
- [06:29]
A
It's funny. Like, it just got cold. I'm wearing like a. A heavy sweater today, and I'm already looking forward to that first day when it gets warm again.
- [06:37]
B
Well, you know what? I'm the opposite. Because now that it's getting cold, it's time to start dressing. Dressing, you know, because that's another bad thing about, like, I became a thrift guy.
- [06:46]
A
Oh, my God. I, I want, I just want our podcast audience that may be watching on YouTube or the draftings network, go to those platforms to see the R motion that Desus had to deliver. When he said thrift guy, it was.
- [06:59]
B
That's me hoarding the clothes.
- [07:01]
A
Yeah, yeah.
- [07:02]
B
Running around a factory with Mad hangers and stuff.
- [07:05]
A
Yes. Just like hands, like claws that were also scare quot self conscious about what it means to thrift.
- [07:10]
B
But it's. It's a game changer because, like, I'm like, why am I paying? I'm buying brand new stuff.
- [07:15]
A
You got richer and you began shopping poorer.
- [07:17]
B
Is it not an immigrant parents dream?
- [07:19]
A
No doubt.
- [07:20]
B
There you go. Hand me downs. We back, baby, back.
- [07:46]
A
I do want to talk about, like, the sliding doors of your life, right? Yeah, and I want to actually. Let's. Let's just start with the fact that I think we've known each other, it's almost. Almost 10 years, which is crazy. But like, d zemero, of course. I was a guest on your show in 2016. Oh, I have a question. I have a question for you guys. So I'm sure you guys living in New York have as I have had both cockroaches show up in your apartment and possibly mice show up in your apartment.
- [08:11]
B
Right?
- [08:11]
A
I've had both. You guys have had both. What is more difficult to exterminate for you? Like, I'm talking about physically having to kill him.
- [08:19]
B
Oh, the physical kill. Oh, the kill itself. No, it's all day, baby. I'm from New York. You both can catch it.
- [08:24]
A
Eric Reidholm, who produced Shout out to Eric the Gun, around the Horn, pti, all that stuff. Highly questionable. Was making your show with you at Viceland.
- [08:33]
B
Viceland. Wow. Throwback.
- [08:34]
A
Can you just explain what that office was like in, like, this is 2015. You're already, like, cracking up. But, like, it was an abs. It's unbelievable what that workplace was. Like. I was creeping around just like in the entourage.
- [08:48]
B
There was no. Like, we didn't have an office. I had a desk. I just had a regular ass desk next to a girl who worked the social media for Vice. And, like, we'd be super loud making the show and everyone else was just, like, working. And then we go into the conference room, which had a bear and flies.
- [09:05]
A
Yep.
- [09:06]
B
And we record the show four times a week. It was chaotic. It was bare bones. It was a lot of fun. And it was like we were learning to do tv.
- [09:15]
A
Yes.
- [09:16]
B
So was Vice.
- [09:17]
A
But the idea of here you were in an open concept, like, parody of a Brooklyn office. Like, this was the archetype for what people imagine when they're like, I wonder what vice is like, it's kind of exactly what you imagine.
- [09:29]
B
Exactly.
- [09:30]
A
Was just like rolling blunts.
- [09:31]
B
Yes. And I remember, like, we would go into the garden and smoke weed.
- [09:36]
A
Didn't you guys get banned.
- [09:37]
B
Yes. There was an email that came from Vice and it was just like, the Desus and Miro team are smoking weed in the garden. How to proceed?
- [09:45]
A
Yes.
- [09:45]
B
And you see, it got forward and forwarded. Forward and forwarded to. It got to like the top person. I was like, I'll handle it. And basically we got banned from smoking weed in the building.
- [09:53]
A
It was like an email from Willy Wonka saying, you can't eat chocolate no more chocolate.
- [09:56]
B
Yeah. So we just like, whatever. And also we went.
- [09:58]
A
I remember, I remember after the band, we ended up, you, me and Miro ended up just smoking in a stairwell.
- [10:04]
B
Yes. And we didn't realize the stairwell led directly to the lobby. And so the lobby just reeked the weed. Everyone was like, there aren't the number one rated show on our channel. What are we gonna do?
- [10:15]
A
Absolutely.
- [10:16]
B
So shout out to the receptionist at Vice. Sorry for making your life help.
- [10:20]
A
Yeah, apologies. But for me, what I think about still is just like, okay, that was the most absurd workplace I think I've ever encountered. Yeah, but I want to know about the workplaces you had before then. You wound up on a path that led there to Showtime, to what we're going to get to next, which is great, but where you came from, for people who don't know, this is why you're a legend.
- [10:45]
B
I've had so many jobs, I've lose so many lives. I've been a strip club manager. I've been a programmer for the New York Public Library. I used to do credit card processing for porn sites, Shout out to CC Bill. I used to buy and sell domain names internationally. I used to pick up dead rats from an auto mechanic shop. I've done it all. I used to be a late night TV host. Like. Like, my LinkedIn would be wild. If I could remember the password, the.
- [11:12]
A
Number of endorsements you would have, the character list would be everything endorsed by the mafia.
- [11:19]
B
And I know php, you know, just all over the map.
- [11:22]
A
But I want to, I want to talk about each of those stops a little bit because each one of those stops is its own sitcom.
- [11:27]
B
Yeah.
- [11:28]
A
So like, your first job was what?
- [11:30]
B
My first job, I was working with my uncle and we rebuilt a crack house. So, like, they, My uncle purchased the house. It was a three family house in the northeast Bronx. And it was like, it was a crack house. Like, literally, crackheads have been in there smoking crack. And so that means like the insides were. Everything had to be gutted. Like, for example, they still used the bathroom. There was no water. Do you See what I'm getting at here?
- [11:58]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [11:58]
B
So it was my job to scoop everything out of the toilet and put it in the dumpster in the front. So I was doing all this. I was. Clearly. I had to be, like, 12. Clear. Violations of labor laws on every level. But immigrant parents don't care about that.
- [12:12]
A
Not at all.
- [12:12]
B
And did I get paid? No, but it was, like, cool. Cause I got to destroy all the walls in the basement with a sledgehammer.
- [12:19]
A
So this was like a rage room for you before they were rage rooms?
- [12:21]
B
Yeah, it was a rage room because I was upset because I was 12 and I had a job on my other. Are running around playing basketball. I've, like, got a hard hat. I'm getting on the bus at 8am.
- [12:30]
A
Like, I imagine, as a. As a matter of general assumption that, like, the poop you were scooping out also wasn't like. It was probably, as poop goes, I imagine the people there were not exactly, like, having a lot of fiber in their diet. Yeah, it was.
- [12:45]
B
You know what the thing is about the poop? It, like, you would think it's all hard, but it's like. It's kind of like a souffle.
- [12:52]
A
Mm.
- [12:52]
B
Or a creme brulee.
- [12:54]
A
Yes.
- [12:54]
B
It's like a hard crust. And once you scooped through. Yeah. And then also once the toilet filled, they were like, oh, we're gonna poop somewhere else. So there was a bathtub.
- [13:06]
A
Oh, no.
- [13:07]
B
Full of poop.
- [13:08]
A
Yeah. Yeah.
- [13:08]
B
So I had the shovel, and you do the. What is it? The Vicks vapor rub over your nose. That's put the mask on and all that. Also, we were listening to CBS FM the whole time. So I'm doing all this to, like.
- [13:21]
A
Frankie Valley, Billy Jo.
- [13:26]
B
Like, walk like a man talk. I'm like, I'm 12. I'm like 12. I'm like, go play basketball, please. They're like, no, no, no. They're like, go break down those two by fours over there.
- [13:36]
A
And as you're doing this, what part of you is dreaming of something else? Or were you not even, like, as. Cause in the musical version, let's make this Jersey Boys. Or in this case, Bronx Boys, I presume. So as this is happening, are you already, like. Is this. Are you pining for something greater or no. What's your mentality as this is happening?
- [13:58]
B
That's one thing about my life. I've always just kind of gone with the flow, which has always led me to a new job.
- [14:04]
A
Okay, so what's the next job?
- [14:05]
B
Probably the rat Thing picking up the dead rats.
- [14:09]
A
So this is rats in New York.
- [14:11]
B
Yeah.
- [14:12]
A
That was respect. Respect the institution of rats.
- [14:16]
B
You have to respect rats. They have as much rights to exist in New York City as the rest of us. You see a rat and you don't know if he's just going to work. Like, you see the pizza rat videos on Twitter, and you're like, oh, that's cute. And it's like, no. Respect his privacy.
- [14:29]
A
Absolutely.
- [14:29]
B
Did you ask for his consent to record this? No.
- [14:31]
A
Yeah. Where's that release?
- [14:33]
B
Listen, Shout out to all my WGA rat members. One day longer, one day stronger.
- [14:40]
A
Literally putting inflatable rats outside of places that don't respect unions.
- [14:44]
B
That's. You know.
- [14:45]
A
What, do people do that elsewhere?
- [14:46]
B
I don't think so.
- [14:47]
A
Because New York growing up, I was like, why is there a giant in inflatable, horrifying rat? Because those people inside don't respect organized labor.
- [14:56]
B
Also, is there one company that provides the rat?
- [14:58]
A
It's a great question.
- [14:59]
B
Because, like, I could go get a rat, too. I could run him out of business. I need a new job, so. Coming for you, rat guy.
- [15:07]
A
My favorite thing about rats in New York is that there are some rats in New York in the subterranean levels that have never even seen people.
- [15:15]
B
Wow.
- [15:16]
A
And of course, like, there will be a day when they will. And I don't like our chances. Okay.
- [15:21]
B
That's terrifying. That's why I'm glad when it floods, because I'm like, they probably die. So you rats. But no, the other day, when, remember there was, like, a torrential downpour here in New York and everything flooded. The subways flooded. Did the rats. Because they, like, they always say animals kind of know when stuff's gonna happen. Did the rats escape, or are the rats, like, sleeping in the subway tunnels?
- [15:42]
A
Like, oh, they were ready. They've been ready.
- [15:45]
B
Yeah.
- [15:45]
A
They've been ready for generations.
- [15:47]
B
Shout out to Master Splinter.
- [15:49]
A
Absolutely.
- [15:50]
B
Because he raised turtles.
- [15:51]
A
I mean, is there any more New York metaphor than that?
- [15:55]
B
My question is, how did they get the pizza delivered? You gotta tip at least 50 if they're coming down to a manhole. A manhole. But, you know.
- [16:07]
A
We have to rename manholes now.
- [16:09]
B
Them hoes.
- [16:10]
A
Them holes.
- [16:10]
B
Them holes. That sounds even dirtier. That sounds. That sounds like a club that yo. Things is happening at.
- [16:19]
A
That sounds like a club that you worked as a bouncer at.
- [16:21]
B
Yeah. Or like a club that Eric Adams was at last night.
- [16:25]
A
I mean. Okay, before we get into Eric Adams, which I.
- [16:28]
B
You have to cover him. You have to.
- [16:33]
A
Okay. So I feel like I also have to give you a really quick Eric Adams explainer here, especially if you're not from New York, because outside of regularly wearing crystals energy stone bracelets, which Eric Adams does because he believes there's a special energy emanating from the physical bedrock of the city, the mayor also just had his cell phones seized by the FBI last week. Remember, the mayor is also a former police captain and this was all part of a federal investigation into campaign fundraising potentially involving the Turkish government. But that's not even why Desus and I are discussing him here.
- [17:13]
B
It's required by.
- [17:14]
A
My favorite thing about Eric Adams. I mean, many things in all of their awfulness, but it's the idea of him explaining why he's out at clubs.
- [17:21]
C
At 2am My nightlife is a multibillion dollar industry. People are afraid to go back out to restaurants. Now they see the mayor going out saying, come back out to our city.
- [17:35]
A
The city needs to see their mayor.
- [17:37]
B
I love it.
- [17:38]
A
And that was my reaction.
- [17:40]
B
I love it. Like, he's done such, like, at this point, we can't win. So we just gotta, we just gotta ride the maverick and embrace the chaos he is bringing.
- [17:47]
C
Everyone that knows me, they know one thing. I hate rats. You know, when we started killing them in Burrow hall, you know, some of the same folks are criticizing us now. Called me a murderer because I was killing rats. Well, you know what?
- [18:01]
B
We gonna kill rats like every day. He just says the most insane stuff and we just gotta take it like, no one's like, hey, we need to do a wellness check on the mayor. He's just like, it's November and Movember is something that people do and they don't shave. And because of that, we are gonna release orphans into the subways to grab the rats. Rats off to you. At the press conference, everyone's just like, yeah, okay, that's our mayor.
- [18:33]
A
He did have a press conference where he announced introduced a rat czar. Yes.
- [18:38]
C
We had her under rapping key. She was like in witness protection because we don't want one of you to crack the story and you know, start doing background checks, seeing did she get any rat summonses on her block. And you know how she has ever dated an exterminator? You know, we are just really happy to today to say that we have found our rat czar and she is focused.
- [19:04]
A
They had in front of him like on camera, like all of these dead rats.
- [19:08]
B
How do you think I felt? So my previous experience.
- [19:11]
A
So now we're back at your job so what the was this job?
- [19:14]
B
Okay, it was a King Bear, which is like a car mechanic shop. It's in the Bronx on Webster Avenue. It's the length of a full block. And so the week before I came on, the exterminator went and put bait, extermination bait all over. People had cars there to get repaired, painted, detailed. There had to be like 50 cars inside there.
- [19:34]
A
This is already like a level in a Ninja Turtles video game, by the way.
- [19:37]
B
Genesis or Super Nintendo?
- [19:39]
A
Genesis.
- [19:40]
B
Let's go. Oh, yeah. Good parents.
- [19:42]
A
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- [19:42]
B
All right, so. And the cars are, like, dusty. Like, some of the cars haven't been touched in months. So the guy puts the bait down, the poison. And so I come in the next week, and they're like, hey, you gotta find the dead rats. And I was like, what do you mean? They're like, no, the rats ate the poison, just died all over the place. And I was like, all right, that's what, maybe 10 rats? It was a lot of rats.
- [20:03]
A
What are the tools you're given to complete this mini game?
- [20:06]
B
I'm giving a shovel and a compound bucket.
- [20:09]
A
What's a compound bucket?
- [20:10]
B
It's like a. It's like a three liter bucket. One of those white buckets that people use for mopping and stuff like that.
- [20:14]
A
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [20:15]
B
You have to use your sense of smell to find the rats, which is not something you want to do.
- [20:19]
A
Which has been tested already with the VapoRub and the mask.
- [20:22]
B
Again, more vapor rub. Key to the story. New York is in a heat wave.
- [20:26]
A
Oh, my God.
- [20:27]
B
So it's. It's gotta be. I'm not even kidding. It had to be like, maybe 100 degrees for, like, the full week. So that is making the smell of the rats even stronger because they're dead and they're rotten. They don't just die on the floor. They climb up in the wheel well of a car. Jesus, they're going places. And so, like, I have to be sniffing the floor. Like, I'm like, I'm close. So once the compound bucket is full, you don't throw out the rats. We're saving money. You take the rats and you dump them in the barrel of the motor oil from the oil changes. And so you just dump the rats and they all go down and they blubber back up. Oh, my God. And then you get back at it. And I was like, how many buckets can I fill? I was feeling like five buckets a day. I was like, how many rats are in this place?
- [21:13]
A
I assume from there you're like, I need to work at the public library.
- [21:16]
B
No, I went to college and.
- [21:17]
A
Oh, okay.
- [21:18]
B
Then I started working in the library. Shout out to my mother. Cause my mother worked in the library. So it kind of was like, nepotism. But no one cares about nepotism in the library. Like, I got her stapler.
- [21:27]
A
I've been living in New York my entire life. A true New York elitist. And I'm like, I don't know what your libraries are like elsewhere, but in New York. Desus. How do you describe the scene that is the New York Public Library?
- [21:40]
B
First of all, shout out to the New York Public Library. The library is very near and dear to my heart. Because the library is the only place in New York you can go to spend time and you don't have to spend money, which means anyone can go there.
- [21:50]
A
So it's actually incredible as a civic institution. Yes.
- [21:53]
B
It's like the hub of a neighborhood. And people are just like, oh, library. You just go there to get books. No, people go there to print out boarding passes. You can borrow pots and pans from the library. It's literally a babysitter for children because people can't afford babysitters, like for immigrants. When you work there, the initials are nypl, so other workers call it nipple. But the library, it's like.
- [22:16]
A
And some people are there to go look at nipples, to be clear.
- [22:19]
B
And it's also a place where people, because of the Constitution, are allowed to watch porn on the library. And they know their rights. Absolutely. You know how nasty you have to be to watch porn at the library?
- [22:29]
A
Because the thing is, my favorite character, maybe in all of New York is that guy. Because it's funny. So it's a lot, man.
- [22:37]
B
This is the thing. They're watching it, and they're not mastering. They're literally doing this. They're like this, just watching it.
- [22:42]
A
The Library of Alexandria, that is the spank bank in his brain is full of stuff that he is just the pupils, man.
- [22:51]
B
I remember we worked on a. The library was trying to, like, ban. Not ban porn, but restrict porn. And so they did a. It was like a filtering software for URLs.
- [23:02]
A
Got to try and stop this. There are kids over there. No, they're babysat by the city because.
- [23:06]
B
You had, like, the perverts watching it. But then you got the kids super horny. And the kids are stupid. They're like, searching sex boobs. I'm like, like. I was like, I'll show you how to look at the real hardcore stuff that's right.
- [23:17]
A
Yeah. Throw a plus in between those nouns in that search term.
- [23:19]
B
Ooh, a man of knowledge.
- [23:21]
A
But.
- [23:22]
B
So the library banned explicit terms, but then they had to unban it because breast cancer survivors couldn't go to any resources because breasts were banned. So the library's solution was they put anti glare filters.
- [23:37]
A
Oh, my God.
- [23:38]
B
Which technically, if they work, only the person in front of you could see. You could still see what? These people. These people are just watching Sarah J's cheeks get clapped in the open. If you're watching porn, you don't care. You got the volume up.
- [23:51]
A
Yup.
- [23:51]
B
You got the smile on your face. They sign up, they're like, yeah, I'll be back tomorrow. I'm like, I'll just throw away the pen they use.
- [24:01]
A
So that experience, in all of its complexity and contradiction leads you where next after that?
- [24:09]
B
Oh, that was international domain selling.
- [24:14]
A
Yes. Okay, so your expertise in computers and in understanding how people use them in the real world leads you to. There's an economy here.
- [24:22]
B
The whole domain game was wild. And there used to only be six subdomains. It was like.com.net.org mil. I'm blanking on two because it's been so long. But because of that, there was scarcity and everyone wanted a dot com.
- [24:37]
A
It was like a gold rush.
- [24:38]
B
Yeah, exactly. Also, you didn't want to, like, be a weirdo and have a dot net.
- [24:42]
A
Okay, what year are we?
- [24:43]
B
This has to be like, roughly. I want to say this is like maybe 0807. Okay.
- [24:49]
A
Okay.
- [24:50]
B
So every Sunday, a list of all the domain names that were expiring that week would drop and it would be like maybe a spreadsheet, like 60,000 names. And I would literally just sit there in my living room with a pot of coffee and just go through. It'll be like, the domain names, inbound links, how much traffic is getting. And like, kind of. You'd have to use those numbers to kind of figure out the value of the domain. Off of that, we'd have clients and I'd be given like a budget from a client, and they'd be like, hey, I want this domain.
- [25:18]
A
What kind of a domain name? What's a sample URL makeup for black women?
- [25:23]
B
No, so that for 40k respect. Listen, and I got a very nice condition off of that.
- [25:30]
A
This is somehow already beyond what I had imagined. And we haven't even gotten to. What. What was the strip club job I did?
- [25:40]
B
Everything started from coat check, got worked my way all the way up to manager.
- [25:45]
A
You, You. You climbed the ladder, climbed the ladder.
- [25:48]
B
You know what it is? I'm always prepared for the next step. And also, like, when I do something, I do it. I always try to do it the best way.
- [25:56]
A
I get the sense in all of your stories that you don't just have the. I had these complaints. It's the. And here's how I adapted to do the best job that I could every time.
- [26:08]
B
Like, I remember at the strip club, and, like, I had a general meeting with everybody. Like, all the workers, all the dancers and everything.
- [26:15]
A
You called a meeting?
- [26:15]
B
Yes. And I was just like, hey, listen, for all of us, this is just a job. But for tonight, this might be a person's only time. They go out all night. I was like, every night we have to make this, like, Disney World. We have to make it magic. So when you go out there, you got to give it your all.
- [26:31]
A
You were giving motivational halftime speeches. I was at this strip club.
- [26:36]
B
No, all the shout out to all my dancers, like, all of them were just like. They weren't even dancers. Like, those were, like my daughters. Like, I. I was just, like, protective. They would tell me the, like, life problems and stuff, and I'd make sure they get on time and, like, protect them from clients and stuff like that. And then also, I got the job because the stick that, you know, the velvet rope is on, it was wobbly. And one of the dancers was like, yeah, we need a new velvet rope because it looks terrible. And the guy was like, yeah, we need a new stick. And I was like, a stanchion. And they were like, what? I was like, it's called a stanchion. And it was like, how do you know that? I was like, I just know that.
- [27:11]
A
I worked at the New York Public Library.
- [27:12]
B
And they literally go, do you know Microsoft Excel? And I was like, yeah. And it was like, do you want to be manager? And I was like, sure. So that simple.
- [27:20]
A
What's the biggest misconception that people have about, let's say, a New York strip club in specific?
- [27:26]
B
In other cities, they can get butt booty naked and show everything. Here in New York, it's not like that. And if you come. If you've ever been to a strip club in New York, the dancers are so far away, it's actually sad. You have to, like, ball the money up and throw it at them like you're Mariano Rivera.
- [27:41]
A
Enter Sandman comes on over the loudspeaker. So, okay, so you go from rising in the ranks as a manager at this strip club.
- [28:03]
B
Yes.
- [28:03]
A
To where?
- [28:05]
B
Oh, after That I became a small business reporter.
- [28:09]
A
Oh, that's right.
- [28:10]
B
For Black Enterprise magazine.
- [28:12]
A
You got into journalism?
- [28:13]
B
Got into journalism. Why? Because I did the interview and I actually interviewed to be a programmer there. And they were just like, yeah, we can't meet your salary demands. And they literally looked at my resume. I was like, oh, you got an English degree? You want to be a reporter? And I was like, I don't really want to be a reporter, but Con Edison is on my ass, so I'll take that.
- [28:32]
A
So wait a minute. So at what point. So this is where I should introduce the premise of. Of your brain being a special brain. And I say that in the way of not only do you have a command of the English language, you're incredibly quick. You're as fast and as spontaneously funny as anybody I've ever met. And so when does that actually become part of your goal? I'm going to use this thing that I can do that I've. I've established interpersonally at all of these stops, the lot full of abandoned cars and dead rats, the public library, the strip club, all of it. When do you realize, ah, this is actually my calling?
- [29:13]
B
Ever since I was a child, my parents were like, no, you've always just been, like, super funny and witty, and it never really struck me as something special. And then one day, I think it was at Black Enterprise. I remember shout out to my man, Darren Sands, the Sandman. He was like, you're funny. And I was like, okay. I was like, everyone's funny. And he's like, no, you're funny. And also, this is the wildest story. I always tell this to, like, people I date. When I was in seventh grade, my English teacher, shout out to Leslie Ashold in is 180. No, in Lehman High School. She's like, I need to talk to you. She takes me into the student lounge, the teacher's lounge. And she's like, your life is going to be difficult because you're going to be famous.
- [29:55]
A
Wow. And I was like, that's a dangerous thing to tell a kid. Not just because you're putting the idea, the thought of, like, hey, celebrity is in your future, but also, like, if you're not, you failed. You. You're now haunted by this prophecy.
- [30:13]
B
Like, I didn't live up to it, but even that, like, I just thought that I didn't take that. Like, I was just like, okay, that I left the office. I was like, that was weird. And I never thought about it ever again until, like, maybe one day. I think it was like we had performed at the Apollo sold out show.
- [30:27]
A
Yep.
- [30:28]
B
And I was coming off that, I was like, holy. Leslie also called this. So shout out to you, Leslie, I hope you still alive. Absolutely.
- [30:36]
A
If you're out there, please write in to Pablo Torre finds out we have a voicemail line.
- [30:40]
B
But yeah, so Darren was like, you're funny. And like, I was doing my tweets because I hated.
- [30:45]
A
That's where I encountered you, of course, is on Twitter. Twitter, of course. All of the hellscape aspects are obvious to everybody now, but when it was.
- [30:54]
B
Good, it was great.
- [30:55]
A
I regard you as being one of.
- [30:57]
B
The reasons why, like, I am a baby of Twitter. I was on there from like almost day one of Twitter.
- [31:02]
A
Yes.
- [31:03]
B
The way you used to use Twitter was like, it started as like kind of like a journal to yourself, but then you started tweeting to a general audience. And I remember there were days I was doing like 50 tweets a day. My day at the at Black Enterprise was literally like, I'd be there for the 9am meeting and I go to my desk and I go to LinkedIn. I go to. Indeed, I go to Monster. Cause I was trying to get the out of there. I hated that job. And I just tweet about it every day. Cause it was like, imagine like, you know, you have talents, but this is what you have to do to pay the bills and just the resentment you have. And it's kind of like you don't want to like show that to your co workers, but you know, in your heart of heart. Yeah, but you don't know what the next thing is going to be. But the whole time I worked there, I was just like. I was like, nah, something else is coming.
- [31:42]
A
No, you have that look. You have that look that those masturbators at the library had. Just like staring at a screen. Yeah. Knowing that you're up to something at what point. I mean, I guess we know sort of where the story goes from there on some level, because you and Mira hook up and you get to. You become a duo that I loved as a podcast duo because they did wife swap.
- [32:03]
B
We've done house swap. We're gonna do peno swap, where you switch your porn collection with another person at your job and afterwards you talk about it.
- [32:14]
A
And I want to yada, yada, yada over some of this because I want to catch people up to today, because today you are doing something that I relate to. But I also wonder if you found scary, which is like life as a soloist.
- [32:27]
B
It's. It's different because people can't. There's certain people who will never see you as a soloist. They're always going to be like, we're like. You hear Desus, and most people are, like, waiting for the Amiral.
- [32:37]
A
Yes.
- [32:38]
B
And it's kind of like you've disappointed them. Yes. And I totally get it. I totally get it. We made a product they really enjoyed. We're no longer making it. Yeah.
- [32:46]
A
Hit show on Viceland. A hit show on Showtime.
- [32:48]
B
Hit podcast.
- [32:49]
A
Hit podcast.
- [32:50]
B
Number one New York Times bestseller.
- [32:52]
A
No. And for real, like, the stuff that I would listen to and watch when I wanted to feel better about my day because you guys were always, always funny, always enjoying yourself.
- [33:03]
B
It was fun to me.
- [33:04]
A
And so now, right in the aftermath, I want to just get into, like, so what do you say on the street? Like, how do you respond?
- [33:13]
B
I mean, it depends what moment you catch. Because sometimes the thing is, like, I don't walk around as Jesus. My name is Daniel. I'm a regular person. When I'm. If you see me in the street, I'm doing regular stuff. Like, the other day I was in the supermarket, like, holy Jesus, you still shop. I'm like, dog, I'm not at the point. I have, like, an assistant. Like, I have to still go to the superfood and get bread and cheese. So, you know, like, I don't have scripted answers. Like, I'm very earnest when you meet me. Like, I'll. You know, sometimes I explain stuff to people, but, you know, it's very much like, yo, thanks for rocking with it. Yeah, I'm not going into, like, that.
- [33:50]
A
Right, right, right, right. And to what extent? Because I, again, like, going from duo, going from duo to soloist inside of that is the challenge of now. I almost need to reintroduce myself.
- [34:03]
B
Absolutely. And like, I. After the show ended, I didn't do any press, no interviews. Like, I just lay low.
- [34:09]
A
This is, like, a rare appearance from Desus. From Daniel and Desus.
- [34:12]
B
Yeah. I'm like. Cause it's right now, like, I'm reintroducing myself. I just hosted a daily Show. It's time for some financial news. The Daily show is a serious show. I know some people expect me to come on here and do my thing where I just roast people that I have beef with. But this is a serious show. This is a serious chair, serious desk. And now I'm gonna give you some important financial news. So important I have to put on my spectacle. I report on the serious financial news. Popular radio host DJ Envy.
- [34:39]
A
Now distancing himself from an alleged multi million dollar fraud scheme.
- [34:43]
B
And, you know, like, now I'm starting to do more press. I have some more projects about to announce.
- [34:47]
A
What can we say about projects to announce?
- [34:50]
B
I can't say anything because in Hollywood, if you talk about projects before all the T's and P's are crossed, they're not going to happen. And also NDAs. So I'm not going to be out here and promise something that I'm not sure, but we got stuff coming and you guys are going to enjoy.
- [35:05]
A
All I will say is that I'm incredibly excited for you.
- [35:08]
B
I'm excited too, because I miss being in front of a camera. I've had a million jobs. Imagine finding a job you love.
- [35:15]
A
Exactly.
- [35:16]
B
Imagine finding the thing you're really good at. I love making tv. I love hosting. I love the people around me that host. I love the whole nature of a set. I love hair and makeup, the driver, the PAs, the interns, the writers room.
- [35:31]
A
You're giving halftime speeches to people again?
- [35:33]
B
Yes.
- [35:34]
A
Gathering them. And, man, you're leading it. You want to lead a team again.
- [35:38]
B
Exactly. And this is like, one thing I always said, especially on any show I've worked on. The people I work with are not staff, they're family. And the thing is, like, I make sure there's, like, no ranking order. Like, there's no one, hey, you can't talk to me because you're a PA or an intern. Like, oh, these are writers only. Or, like, I'm talent. Don't look me in the eyes. Like, we never have that. Like, I always have an open door. Anyone can come talk to me. And even on the last show, I remember just, like, giving a very impassioned speech like, yo, I wanna thank y' all for making this show. Like, every day we show up, we make an incredible show. And, you know, people see my name and the title and they think it's just me and Mero and it's like the amount of people. It was 80 people, and 80 people made that show. And every person did a part to make that incredible show. And it's just like, just being able to reach out to them and be like, yo, thank you for doing this. Means the world. And so I'm just. I can't wait for whatever's next.
- [36:28]
A
So what's the biggest difference for you? Because I've learned some about myself being a guy with my name in a title of a show in this weird, psychedelic studio with you. What is the biggest difference that you've experienced as. As to your vision of who you are now going. Going alone?
- [36:45]
B
Well, that's a good question. Well, definitely, I want to say, end of season three of my former show, I started therapy. And that's really helped me not only, like, to keep the show on the air for season four, but just navigate personal relationships and, like, you can actually, like, even my assistant, I said to her, I was like, do you see a difference in me since I started therapy? She was like, absolutely.
- [37:11]
A
So what's the difference? What's pre therapeutic mess?
- [37:13]
B
Before, apparently, I was a mess. I was like, I didn't know how to handle stress. I was just like, I was just all over the place. And now I'm much calmer, more focused. I'm definitely a better person. And also because of stuff that happened, now I know there's the running joke. Hollywood Jesus. Everyone's like, hollywood Jesus, Hollywood Jesus. And the thing is, I am Hollywood Jesus. People in LA will say that, and they're like, Cause you know how to navigate Hollywood. You know how to talk to execs, you know where to go to meet people. Like, I remember being in a room with David Nevins, head of Showtime, head of Showtime, former head of Showtime, and other CEOs and execs, and one of them was just like, you feel comfortable here? And I was like, yeah. And he was like, I see that. He was like, you're not. There's no trepidation. You're not afraid of anybody. You talk to these people as if you belong in these rooms. And I'm like, yes, I know how to navigate Hollywood. I know how to talk to execs. I know how to talk to networks. I know how to ride that fine line. And, like, if you want to do content here, but the network is pushing off this, I know how to, like, get that wiggle room in there and, like, you know, like, really make these things happen. So that's what Hollywood Jesus means to me. It's kind of like the same way I did every job at the strip club.
- [38:28]
A
Yes.
- [38:29]
B
I want to do every job in Hollywood. I want to direct, I want to produce, I want to score movies. I want. I am trying to, like, the idea that Hollywood is a pool. And I'm just going to put my toe in it and be like, oh, that's enough. That's wild. Like, no, I want. I'm gonna jump in at, like, the pool in lebane. Okay, let's get it, baby. That's a great reference, right? It is. That's such a New York reference.
- [38:50]
A
It is.
- [38:51]
B
I'M back.
- [38:52]
A
So. Okay, so coming out of therapy, what I'm getting the sense of from Dr. Scott.
- [38:57]
B
My guy. My guy.
- [38:59]
A
Well, explain. Okay, so your experience in therapy. What do you want people to know about what the biggest benefit to you has been?
- [39:09]
B
Well, I was afraid to go to therapy for so long because I was just like, what if they find. What if they, like, find something even I'm not ready for?
- [39:19]
A
This is kind of, by the way, my feeling about, like, having a true, like, LSD psychedelic experience. Yeah. Which is like, I kind of like the way things are going now as much as there are problems I want to address.
- [39:30]
B
Yeah.
- [39:31]
A
What if there's something that happens to me that changes who I am?
- [39:35]
B
Exactly. So I was always nervous about that. And then just going to therapy was just like, it's. Therapy basically is like, to put it in nerd ways. Please go back to my programming days, please. Therapy is you learn the programming language for the operating system. That's you. You learn how to actually understand what's going on. Like, you learn this emotion means this. Or if I'm feeling this, do that. Or if you're feeling stressed, here's a breathing exercise to help you get through it. And shout out to my therapist, like, that's my guy. That's my guy. Because when I first started, I was seeing him three times a week.
- [40:12]
A
Yo. But. But it's truly like when I. Whenever I would. And again, it's true to the. How we started this. This episode, like, me talking to you about the joy of seeing you in the street. And just like, I've always regarded you as the guy who's having a fun time.
- [40:26]
B
Yeah. Well, nah, for a long period, it was not that. It was like, you know, it is a sad clown, that kind of thing. Like, you're laughing and everyone around you is laughing, and inside you're just like, what the is going on? Cause, you know, like, stuff happens. Family stuff happens. I've lived. I mean, like, I've lost a lot of friends. One of my cousins died of actual Covid. She was a nurse. She died. She died while she was having a baby. So, you know, so dealing with that kind of stuff. And shout out to Dr. Scott again, like, just learning how to navigate that and just, you know, being able to handle emotion and actually being actually happy. And that's the important thing, to actually wake up in the morning. And I used to wake up and be like. I remember it was like a 50 Cent song. No, no, it was Shaheen, the Rugged Child. Real hip hop. And the Song was like, damn, I woke up again. And I was like, that's how my life used to be. It used to be like, we gotta do this again. And now I wake up, it's like, sunshine and roses, baby. I'm doing peloton meditations. I'm drinking water with, like, flaxseed in it.
- [41:36]
A
Ah, ionized.
- [41:38]
B
Maybe some yoga. Listen, we out here shout out to Aditi from peloton.
- [41:44]
A
But I feel you feeling more.
- [41:47]
B
Yes.
- [41:47]
A
I feel you allowing yourself to feel a spectrum of emotions that I also intuitively regard as scary.
- [41:55]
B
It's scary, but it's also. You have to respect how scary it is because it's so great. I just did the Daily show and the amount of love that I've gotten from people online. Or like, the other day, I'm in the supermarket and this lady comes up to me and she's like, I'm so proud of you. I don't know this lady from anywhere. And it, like, made me emotional. I was like, yo, there are people I don't even know rooting for me. And the thing is, like, you have haters online and it's like they. They come. Like, you can't give the haters more power than the people because, like, the hater will have a statement on your IG comment. But then you look and you have, like, 14,000 likes.
- [42:29]
A
Who do you. The question of who we allow to affect how we feel about ourselves is something that, of course, everybody who does anything in public, and also anybody now, because we're all on the Internet. We're all in public.
- [42:39]
B
Yeah.
- [42:40]
A
Everyone has a taste of this no matter what you do. That is the thing that we all navigate and you having a context for. Yeah. Allowing yourself to be kinder to yourself.
- [42:54]
B
Absolutely. You have to do that. And it's like, even just like, little moments, like, I'm in la, I'm on my balcony with my dog and my cat, and I'm looking at my cat, and I was like, holy. I found you in the Bronx in, like, 2007 under a car, covered in motor oil. Now you're in LA on a balcony in a high rise.
- [43:14]
A
Yep.
- [43:15]
B
Like, my cat. This is my flex right here. Do you know the litter robot 4?
- [43:20]
A
What is that?
- [43:20]
B
It's an automated box for your cat. Meet Litter Robot, the revolutionary pet care appliance that eliminates the chore of scooping.
- [43:29]
A
What a full circle device for you specifically to own. I am being told in my ear by my unseen production army, shout out to all of them, some of whom have Been your former members of your production army.
- [43:40]
B
Yes.
- [43:40]
A
$700 for those who are interested in purchasing this device.
- [43:44]
B
Yeah, he has one in New York and one in la. Shout out to Charlie, my guy. Okay. Your father loves you. No, that's a big flex. That is a big flex. There's an app for it. And, like, oh, my God. Yeah, it's some real.
- [44:00]
A
What is on this app? What can you do remotely from the app?
- [44:03]
B
You can see how much waste is in it. You can do a remote cycle.
- [44:06]
A
When I say a full circle moment, I just want remind you what you were doing as your very first job and what you're doing now.
- [44:13]
B
You know what the funniest moment, literally, I was in Irwan in LA looking at the app, and I was like, okay, this is too much. I was like, this is too. I was like, I'll fly too close to the sun. I got you. I might get a. I might get my stomach tattooed, dude.
- [44:24]
A
But this is why. This is why. I mean, now. Now that I think about how I felt when I saw you on the street, there was a little bit of Eric Adams, because I was like, you know what? I'm glad Desus is back home, because the city really does need to see their mayor.
- [44:38]
B
I really.
- [44:40]
A
I'm like, people need to know.
- [44:41]
B
I feel like the mayor of New York.
- [44:42]
A
You're here. Some part of you will always be here.
- [44:46]
B
Like, no joke. Like, people are like, yo, Jesus is back. Like, I walk into bar. They're like, you're back. I'm like, yeah, I am. Like, people in LA were just like. They're like, where are you from? I was like, new York. They was like, I never heard an accent like that. I was like, this is a Bronx accent. I say the G in sandwich, you know?
- [45:03]
A
Yeah. You are as comfortable talking to any number of. Of, like, young celebrities as you are Rudy Giuliani.
- [45:13]
B
Listen. See, the thing about Giuliani, he's a scumbag, but he's a New York scumbag. So, you know, we could listen. We'll talk about Arthur Avenue. We'll talk about hair dye. Talk about sexy cousins. Come on, Rudy. Come on, Rudy. Family reunion. Just a mixer.
- [45:45]
A
Jesus. It is, Daniel. I should say.
- [45:46]
B
No, I'm still going. Jesus.
- [45:47]
A
Okay, good.
- [45:48]
B
Also, if you see me in this. We don't call me Daniel. I don't know you. That makes me think, like, it makes me feel like I'm back in court, and I don't need that. Actually, the other day, I was by the central booking in Manhattan, and I was walking by, and I was like, holy. I've been in so many different parts of my life. There was a time where I was a juror there. There was a time I was on trial there. And now I'm just walking by, like, happy. When you walk by central book or court, and you don't have to go to court, it's the best feeling in the world. Cause you're just like, hey, I'm chilling.
- [46:21]
A
I just love that. That immediately just puts us in a certain timeline in which this wasn't that long ago.
- [46:26]
B
I was falsely arrested. And I was like. That was like, right before I got on tv. And it was weird because, like, I'm probably working on a movie about this because I thought I was arrested. Like, I remember being in the precinct, and they was like, do you know what you're here for? And I was like, probably, like, disorderly conduct. And it was like, you're here for attempted murder on NYPD officer. And I was like, all right, here we go. And the funniest thing, the whole time.
- [46:51]
A
I was like, title screen, smash cut.
- [46:54]
B
But the whole time, literally in my head, I was like, nope, I'm the main character. I was like, does it end like this? I was like, I'm not going to jail. You see these eyebrows? Bad. I was like. And I beat it. Shout out to the Bronx defenders, a public defender. We beat the charges. And that's why I talk to the galas now.
- [47:09]
A
Oh, my God. Yes.
- [47:11]
B
It's another job. Yeah. Yeah. Felon.
- [47:18]
A
So what at the end here, Jesus. We talk about at the end of Pablatore. Finds out what we found out today. And I'll tell you what I found out about you. You, which is that your life is the combination of and. And I say this word knowing that it's like. It's a loaded word. But it. It feels like you have lived almost a destiny of, like, you needed to do all of this stuff to end up doing the thing that you were clearly meant to do. I agree with your teacher. Right. Like, clearly, all of this was meant to be. All of the turmoil, the. That made you want to cry, all of that stuff, the sad clown stuff, the scooping of creme brulee poop. Everything that happened was required to get you to sit here with me. And. And I think that's. That's incredible.
- [48:13]
B
No, I thank you for saying that. I feel the same way as. Also, it's super touching that, like, me and you, our relationship, 10 years, and it's just like, I've met so Many people have come and gone out of my life. You make friends, and they're not really friends. And me and you, I really appreciate this and the idea. Like, if this was any other interview, I couldn't have been as emotional and intimate. And I thank you for giving me a safe space to do that. I'm super proud of you. Look at what you're doing. Seeing you being a great father and everything, that's everything I aspire to be. I mean, like, I'm still running the streets, but, you know, but nah, it's just beautiful to see and witness and, like, shout out to you, man, and thank you for having me on here and letting me talk about this. And no, it feels incredible. Like, I really enjoy my life and just being able to, like, have people like you and talk to you, people like you about it and talk to the camera. Shout out to you viewers, I love you. You know, we out there.
- [49:06]
A
That was incredible.
- [49:07]
B
That was my guy. Thank you.
- [49:18]
A
This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out, a Meadowlark Media production. And I'll talk to you next time. Yo. Shout out to Pumps at Bushwick, which I've never been to, but shout out to Greg.
- [49:46]
B
Shout out to Greg. Shout out to my mother. Shout out to Eric the God. Shout out to the receptionist at Vice. Shout out to Beck. Shout out to CC Bill. Shout out to Master Splinter. Shout to Charles. Shout out to 33 taps in Silver Lake. Shout out to Ican. Shout out to all my dancers. Shout to Bookings. Yo, Jim. Shout out to you, man. Shout out to all my WGA Rap members. Shout out to the New York Public Library. Shout out to Aditi from Peloton. Shout out to the Bronx Defenders. Shout out to Peter the Governor. Shout out to Midnight in Williamsburg. Shout out to Charlie my guy. Shout out to my man Darren Sands, the Sandman. Shout out to Leslie ashold. Shout out, Dr. Scott, my guy. Well, shout out to you viewers, I love you, you.