An Invite-Only Halftime Show, the King of Commercials, and Taylor Swift's Secret Weapon: Your Super Bowl Mysteries, Solved

Summary

Episode Overview

Episode Title: An Invite-Only Halftime Show, the King of Commercials, and Taylor Swift's Secret Weapon: Your Super Bowl Mysteries, Solved
Podcast: Pablo Torre Finds Out
Host: Pablo Torre, with Ryan Cortez and guest correspondents
Date: February 9, 2024

This Super Bowl-themed episode is a playful, call-in-driven “Non-Mailbag Mailbag” talkumentary that dives into urgent Super Bowl mysteries and cultural questions. Pablo and Ryan mix listener voicemails, sharp reporting, irreverent banter, and special guest insights to discuss: the best halftime show in NFL history (hint: a secret Prince performance), the GOAT of athlete endorsements, Taylor Swift’s Person of the Year win (and her cat), the challenges of Olympic flag football, and the viral genius behind ‘Art But Make It Sports.’

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Key Discussion Points & Episode Breakdown

1. Kicking Off—Jokes, Laughter, and Miami Heat Nightmares

[00:00–05:10]

• Pablo and Ryan riff on Pablo’s distinctive laugh after a voicemail roasts him (“You laugh like a comic book villain who has just executed an ingeniously elaborate plan which results in a minor crime.” — Dominique Foxworth, [02:15]).
• A listener is terrified by the Miami Heat’s mascot, “Burnie.” Ryan claims it looks like “a cocaine bird,” referencing both Miami culture and the mascot’s lawsuits and celebrity run-ins.

2. Time Person of the Year, Super Bowl Cliques, and Taylor Swift’s Cat

[06:09–09:24]

• Listener asks about Time Magazine’s Person of the Year criteria (not “Times Magazine,” as one caller calls it). Pablo recounts his experience at a Time Person of the Year banquet and how the honor has shifted from historical figures (FDR, Hitler, Stalin) to mainstream icons like Taylor Swift.
• They joke about giving the Person of the Year to Taylor Swift’s cat, Benjamin Button.
  Quote: “Congratulations to Benjamin Button the cat. Pablo Torre finds out Person of the Year.” — Pablo, [09:16]

3. The Greatest Halftime Performance: The Secret Prince Show

[10:25–23:45]

• Voicemail wonders about the best Super Bowl halftime show.
  • Pablo and Ryan admit their music tastes are out of step, but agree: Prince is GOAT.
• Guest: Dave Fleming, ESPN Senior Writer, shares the legendary story about Prince’s secret 2007 Super Bowl press conference performance for an audience of 800 incredulous, unsavvy media—the true best Super Bowl show ever.
  • [12:04] Flem: “At some point, Pablo, you lose track. Somewhere north of 25 [Super Bowls].”
  • [15:25] Producer introduces Prince; Prince takes the mic: “Contrary to rumor, I like to take a few questions right now… 1, 2, 3—Johnny B. Goode.”
  • It turns out the first “question” was secretly staged by Chris Isaak.
  • NFL had no control, Prince never revealed what songs he’d play, but delivered a face-melting 12-minute show.
    Quote: “Prince is the only person maybe in the world, in the history of the world that could make the super bowl… his. He made the NFL look feeble.” — Dave Fleming, [18:53]
• Pablo: “What Prince does, he doesn’t just exceed your expectations. He kind of says ‘f you’ while doing it.” [19:23]
• The press conference crowd remains mostly silent, not sure how to respond. “It’s like watching a UFO land in your backyard.” — Dave Fleming, [20:31]
  • Regret: “We blew it… It was like the greatest moment, just completely embarrassing.” — Dave Fleming, [22:02]

4. Athlete Endorsements: The King of Commercials

[23:52–26:31]

• Who is the king of sports endorsements? Shaq, hands down. Montage of his countless commercials: All Sport, Icy Hot, Papa John’s, Buick, The General, Gold Bond, JCPenney, Frosted Flakes, and more.
  • Quote: “We had to stop counting Shaq endorsements once we got into, like, the 50s.” — Pablo Torre, [26:06]
• They joke about Shaq’s charisma and why he wasn’t a bigger movie star:
  • “Why the hell wasn’t Kazaam a better movie?” — Ryan Cortez, [26:18]

5. Olympic Flag Football—NFL Stars as the New Dream Team?

[26:43–33:12]

• Flag football is debuting at the LA 2028 Olympics.
  • Will we see Mahomes and Tyreek Hill face international teams?
• Concerns about NFLers truly participating—injury liability, instant replay headaches, actual skillset needs.
  • Guest: Scott Hallenbeck, CEO of USA Football explains how flag football is different:
    • 5-on-5, 50 x 25 yard field, elusiveness is crucial, defense is tough, technique heavily matters ([29:42–32:17]).
    • Transition from tackle to flag is tricky, even for NFL elite; likely, national teamers will dominate, not NFL Dream Teams.
  • Pablo: “NFL teams are never going to want to do this… Employers aren’t going to let their players play flag football!”

6. Viral Genius: “Art But Make It Sports” Decoded

[33:48–48:29]

• The viral “Art But Make It Sports” account blows up every NFL Sunday.
  • Voicemail skepticism: Is he using AI?
  • Pablo interviews LJ Raider (@ArtButSports) to test if he’s truly a one-man, non-AI operation.
  • LJ shares his process—no AI for matches, only Google Lens to look up painting names.
    • Quote: “If I go to a museum and take pictures there, I have them all on my phone… I use AI for that portion, but it’s not to do the actual mashups.” — LJ Raider, [36:28]
  • Demonstrates his process live:
    • Compares Pablo in orca costume to…a Georgia O’Keeffe vagina (“Your face is the clitoris”)
    • Dan Le Batard, Jason Whitlock, Urban Meyer — all matched to classic works.
  • Skeptical Ryan Cortez returns: “He has those chess player anal beads where someone’s telling him the answer.” ([48:51])

7. Memorable Quotes & Comic Moments

• On Pablo’s Laugh: “You laugh like a comic book villain who has just executed an ingeniously elaborate plan which results in a minor crime.” — Dominique Foxworth’s text to Pablo, [02:15]
• On the Miami Heat Mascot: “That bird looks like a bird that’s done cocaine.” — Ryan Cortez, [03:40]
• On Prince: “Prince is the only person maybe in the world…that could make the super bowl his.” — Dave Fleming, [18:53]
• On Shaq: “We had to stop counting Shaq endorsements once we got into the 50s.” — Pablo Torre, [26:06]
• On Taylor Swift: “If we’re getting into the pandering wars, let’s give it to the other person on there. Her cat.” — Pablo Torre, [09:01]
• On “Art But Make It Sports”: “The idea that you see a photograph of anything in sports… and you find a disturbingly close match to a piece of art from any period in art history… is absolutely insane.” — Pablo Torre, [37:09]

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Notable Segment Timestamps

• Pablo’s laugh roasted: [01:19–02:26]
• Miami Heat mascot (Burnie): [03:13–04:31]
• Time Person of the Year/Taylor Swift’s cat: [06:52–09:24]
• Greatest halftime show intro: [10:25–11:55]
• Dave Fleming’s Prince story begins: [12:04]
• Prince interrupts for “Johnny B. Goode”: [15:25–16:26]
• Shaq: King of Commercials montage: [25:15–26:06]
• Flag football & Olympics: [27:09–32:17]
• Art But Make It Sports interview/test: [35:51–48:29]

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Episode Tone & Takeaways

• Irreverent, playful, and deeply knowledgeable—with plenty of inside jokes, listener engagement, and meta-commentary on sports, art, media, and culture.
• The best Super Bowl halftime performance ever may not have happened at halftime at all, but in a secret Prince media performance that only a few hundred people will ever claim to have witnessed.
• Endorsement deals? There’s Shaq, and there’s everybody else.
• Taylor Swift’s real secret weapon is meme synergy—and, of course, her cat.
• Flag football’s Olympic moment will likely belong to its little-known heroes, not just NFL stars.
• Sometimes the most perfect cultural commentary lives at the intersection of a falling NFL player and a northern Renaissance painting.

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For next steps:

• Call in to 51385-PABLO if you have mysteries you want solved (journalistic or otherwise)
• Consider your own laughter; someone is listening.

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Transcript

[Pablo Torre]

Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out. I am Pablo Torre. And today we're gonna find out what this sound is.

[Dave Fleming]

Prince is the only person maybe in the world, in the history of the world that could make the super bowl.

[Pablo Torre]

His right after this ad, you're listening to Giraffe Kings.

[Ryan Cortez]

So cold in here. My nipples are hard.

[Pablo Torre]

I didn't need to know that.

[Ryan Cortez]

I'm just letting you know.

[Pablo Torre]

Although I guess now everyone can see that. Don't look the podcast audience. This non mailbag mailbag is starting in a way that is more about Ryan Cortez that I'm prepared for already.

[Ryan Cortez]

I like that. Give the people the number. 51385 Pablo.

[Pablo Torre]

51385 Pablo. That is our number. We're detective agency. We solve crimes and journalistic inquiries. And this is our super bowl edition of the non mailbag detective agency episode that we like to do.

[Ryan Cortez]

Yes, and I think the first call is one we should play first because it mentions my name first. So let's play that call first, I guess.

[Caller]

Okay, Cortez. So I saw this on Reddit and it couldn't be more accurate. I cannot stop thinking about it. And I was hoping you've noticed this too. Pablo's laugh. Does he sound like a cartoon character sobbing?

[Pablo Torre]

That's a very specific kind of shade. Yeah, and I don't agree.

[Ryan Cortez]

Well, I agree with the caller and.

[Pablo Torre]

I disagree with Sorry for enjoying my job. Why am I being shamed for enjoying the job of hosting this show?

[Ryan Cortez]

Nobody's saying you can't laugh or, you know, picking at how you're laughing. Let's take a listen at how you laugh and see if this caller is onto something or not.

[Pablo Torre]

Bro. I mean, he's kind of on to something.

[Ryan Cortez]

You do sound a little bit like a cartoon character.

[Pablo Torre]

This. I just. Play it again.

[Ryan Cortez]

Yes, let's play it again. Play it again. We need to hear a couple more times, please. First of all, the caller's right. My favorite thing you do, laughter wise, where I feel like I've reached the pinnacle of a Pablo laugh, is when you suck in air while trying to laugh. You do this thing where it'll be like, but. But there's still a laugh coming out. My favorite. And so I think there is an.

[Pablo Torre]

Element of my character, athletically speaking. Isn't. Isn't. Isn't great. The thing about my laugh, which I'm now self conscious about in ways that I already was, but now just more. Dominique had previously texted me something about my laugh. He texted me at 8:51am on December 1, a Friday, yesterday. You laugh like a comic book villain who has just executed an ingeniously elaborate plan which results in a minor crime. I think your name should be Rube Goldberg or Mischievio or the Inconveniencer. And I would give that the laugh it deserves. Except now I.

[Ryan Cortez]

You don't want to be. Well, Dominique is right. The caller's right. Next question, please.

[Caller]

Hi, Pablo, this is Catherine. I'm here watching my first Miami Heat game, and I really have to ask you, what the hell is that mascot? It's going to give me nightmares. Thanks so much.

[Pablo Torre]

So, for people who don't remember the Miami Heat mascot, so I guess I don't remember it either. What is it?

[Ryan Cortez]

A big, giant, fat bird. You know, in Miami, they have signs on a lot of the bathrooms that say, please don't do cocaine in the bathroom.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Cortez]

That bird looks like a bird that's done cocaine. That's what it looks like to me.

[Pablo Torre]

Let me look this up.

[Ryan Cortez]

His name's Bernie. He's been the Heat mascot. He's been sued quite a few times. Conor McGregor punched him.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, my God. So when you say a bird, I'm now realizing I did not identify this as a bird until you mentioned the cocaine part. Now it feels like a bird whose nose has been damaged to the point of needing surgical repair because of the amount of cocaine he's done.

[Ryan Cortez]

Not from Conor McGregor punching it, but from the cocaine.

[Pablo Torre]

Isn't this thing also just like it's burning? Isn't. It's like fire? Isn't this, like, heat personified? You think this is a bird?

[Ryan Cortez]

So the technical definition is that it's sort of a anthropomorphic version of the Heat logo. The. The. The flame, the basketball on fire. That's not a basketball on fire.

[Pablo Torre]

That's.

[Ryan Cortez]

That's a cocaine bird. We solved it. We're good here.

[Pablo Torre]

I don't think we've solved anything. I only have more questions about all of this next.

[Caller]

Pablo just caught the latest episode, and let me tell you something. Cortez actually undersold how amazing Love After Lockup is. If you don't know what somebody means when they say mother crack, then you're totally missing out, my man.

[Pablo Torre]

That wasn't even a question, but a great call. What are we doing? Our A block. This is how we're beginning our Non super bowl or Super Bowl? Non Mailbag. Mailbag about the Super Bowl.

[Ryan Cortez]

It's not my fault that our callers are watching Love After Lockup and the Miami Heat.

[Pablo Torre]

Another Thing I don't actually even understand.

[Ryan Cortez]

So what this caller is referring to, right, is an iconic moment in love after lockup. This couple, Clint and Tracy. Clint is your non prison person in the couple. Tracy is the prison person in the love after.

[Pablo Torre]

Clint is unprisoned.

[Ryan Cortez]

Unprisoned hasn't been there. Okay. He falls in love with this girl Tracy. Tracy's got meth problems and does this thing and that thing. She's missing teeth, but he calls her my goddess.

[Pablo Torre]

I guess I should not ask what this thing and that thing are. If you said meth, but not those things.

[Ryan Cortez]

Correct. He's obsessed with her.

[Pablo Torre]

Right.

[Ryan Cortez]

They end up breaking up. And there's this pivotal moment where he calls Clint, calls his mom. She left me for. She has a problem. And his mom says, what's her problem? And he just goes, mother crack.

[Pablo Torre]

I. I hate that. I can't even laugh anymore without thinking about what I sound like. She left me for her addiction. What is her problem? Well, the crack. So the thing was crack.

[Ryan Cortez]

Well, that thing. I mean, there's a lot of. A lot of things.

[Pablo Torre]

How many of them are crack?

[Dave Fleming]

You know, more than one.

[Pablo Torre]

Next is crack.

[Caller]

Yo, Pablo, can you find out who or can you figure out the.

[Ryan Cortez]

Oh, so you kind of want calls that make sense now about love after lockup? Because some of the other calls sound like that.

[Pablo Torre]

I love our listeners. I am worried also about the hell are they doing.

[Ryan Cortez]

I'm not here to make fun of that person like. Jen, what the hell were you doing?

[Pablo Torre]

Hold on.

[Ryan Cortez]

What happened?

[Pablo Torre]

What? That's the call that we teed up producers behind the glass.

[Ryan Cortez]

Was that their only call? They called again, apparently. Play the real call. Let's see what this person.

[Pablo Torre]

Help me help you, caller.

[Caller]

Yo, Pablo, can you find out the qualifications to be the Person of the Year for Times magazine since the 1920s? They had a rough go at it. Yeah. Good and bad people. I guess so.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Peace.

[Ryan Cortez]

So I'm familiar with Time magazine. The hell is Times magazine?

[Pablo Torre]

I. I believe he's referring to Person of the Year, which has had good and bad people on both sides, as it were. Okay. I have a weirdly personal knowledge of this question because I happen to have been in attendance at the Time Person of the Year banquet. So this award, Time man of the Year, used to be. It did go to, like. I'm looking through the list here. FDR won it, but so did Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin. There's, There's. There's a lot of. Just like. Okay, yeah, very historical. Serious. Nikita Khrushchev. Shout out to you.

[Ryan Cortez]

Sounds like a sham to me. Like they're just picking famous people. They don't care. They're not doing anything.

[Pablo Torre]

Well. So lately the question would be like, how did you go to Taylor Swift? Well, it's because. Yeah, much like everybody in our business now, Colin Cowherd included silver fox pandering to the Swifties. There is some element of like, wait, can we get Taylor Swift to come to this? Yeah. And so it clicks. And by the way, she's also kind of the biggest pop cultural figure of the year. Well, yes, Maybe not historical, political, like military. Right. But it's not a bad choice.

[Ryan Cortez]

It's not a bad choice. And people are looking for clicks, which is what it is. And magazine sales and YouTube hits. So we should probably do our own person of the Year.

[Pablo Torre]

Right. So I feel like, should we give it to. Well, so the thing about Taylor Swift getting the award was that she did not show up that night. She was not there. She's too big. Even for Time magazine. I'm looking at this Taylor Swift Time Person of the Year cover and I'm like, if we're getting into the pandering wars, let's give it to the other person on there. That same cover.

[Ryan Cortez]

There's only one other thing on there.

[Pablo Torre]

Well, really think a little bit more anthropomorphically. Cortez.

[Ryan Cortez]

Talking about the cat.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm talking about her cat.

[Ryan Cortez]

Oh my God.

[Pablo Torre]

Look, they're not. The Swifties aren't going to listen to this. All they need to know is that we have given an award to this cat.

[Ryan Cortez]

What's the cat's name? Like Fluffy or something?

[Pablo Torre]

Benjamin Button. Congratulations to Benjamin Button the cat. Pablo Torre finds out Person of the Year.

[Ryan Cortez]

Person of the Year.

[Pablo Torre]

You get it.

[Ryan Cortez]

I also do a great cat impression if you want to hear it.

[Pablo Torre]

I don't. That cat sounds like a cat who's touching its own necklace.

[Ryan Cortez]

Please, please take us to.

[Pablo Torre]

Can we get back? Are you still. You're still shivering, bro.

[Ryan Cortez]

Is. My nipples are okay.

[Pablo Torre]

We gotta get past the your areolas and go to the journalist.

[Ryan Cortez]

I'm just trying to please.

[Pablo Torre]

Like we have a reported journalism non. Mailbag. Mailbag.

[Ryan Cortez]

What you got for me?

[Pablo Torre]

First voicemail of the real mailbag. That's not a mailbag.

[Caller]

Hey, Pablo, love the show.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm getting excited for Usher's halftime show and was just wondering who you think was the greatest halftime performance of all time. Thanks and go chiefs. I like that we finally gotten a topic in which you have zero expertise.

[Ryan Cortez]

I don't care about Usher. The funny thing, you don't care about music. No, that's not true.

[Pablo Torre]

Now you care about love music.

[Ryan Cortez]

My ideal halftime show would be like, if you could resurrect Lyn Lane Staley and do like a hologram of Allison Chains.

[Pablo Torre]

Lit.

[Ryan Cortez]

Second Choice, maybe Rage against the Machines. They're still alive.

[Pablo Torre]

You discovering rock and roll during the pandemic.

[Ryan Cortez]

Delightful. I know.

[Pablo Torre]

Has completely changed the trajectory of your life and your tastes. That sounds horrible.

[Ryan Cortez]

That sounds lit.

[Pablo Torre]

Come on. The Resurrected. Like a hologram. Or like actually like the skinny, drug.

[Ryan Cortez]

Filled hologram of my boy Lane Staley, screaming into a microphone as loud as he can. That would be pretty.

[Pablo Torre]

Or you could just say princess. Okay, Prince. Sure. In my Emmy in the Rain was not just like a great halftime show. That's just one of the greatest concerts of all time. But both of us are actually out of our depth. Admittedly, I have been to one Super Bowl. The real veterans who go to these Super Bowls, they're just going for super bowl week and they're leaving before the game actually happens. Veteran savvy to not actually go to the event. But I wanted to talk to somebody who did. And so that's why we brought in someone with, I would say, incomparable jurisdiction over this subject when it comes to. Yeah, the people that we know.

[Ryan Cortez]

Someone who actually knows what he's talking about.

[Pablo Torre]

That would help. So, Dave Fleming, I've summoned you here because you have been to how many Super Bowls?

[Dave Fleming]

At some point, Pablo, you lose track. So somewhere north of 25.

[Pablo Torre]

Cortez, this is the authority that. That neither of us have.

[Ryan Cortez]

This is Flem.

[LJ Raider]

This is.

[Ryan Cortez]

This is an expert where Grace with his presence.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes. So, Flem, the question is simple. What is the greatest halftime performance you have ever seen or know about? Having covered a zillion of these things.

[Dave Fleming]

I should point out, Right. I've seen some shit at the Super bowl over 25 years.

[Scott Hallenbeck]

I have.

[Dave Fleming]

I have played Madden with a Playboy bunny. I have almost been killed by. No, knifed at a Denny's from a Hell's angel member. I've seen fans dig through mountains of horse manure to win tickets. And obviously, along with the Super Bowl, I've seen a ton of musical performances. But there is one that stands out above all the rest. And it's actually kind of a secret. The absolute, without question, best musical performance at a Super bowl belongs to Prince. Yes, but not during halftime. It was during a secret press conference where he did a surprise impromptu 12 minute face melting concert for the Unworthy, unwashed media members. In 2007, nothing but media members. It was 800 credential media members. It was Cortez. It was. It was pleated khakis and. And. And soiled polo shirts and sweatpants for as far as the. The eye could see.

[Pablo Torre]

Explain how it is that this press conference becomes a concert. How does this tend to go normally? What's happening Instead?

[Dave Fleming]

So it's 2007. We're at the Miami Convention Center. It's the end of the week. And by the end of the week, I mean, you are just. You've had 15 steak dinners, you are hungover, your clothes are dirty. You just want the fricking game to start. And usually the last decent press conference is when they bring in. And they're obligated, the halftime entertainment is obligated to hold a press conference before the show, right? And there were rumors all week that it was like, well, Prince doesn't do press conferences, so this is either going to go epically south or who knows what's going happen?

[Ryan Cortez]

Hold on, hold on. How soon into it do you realize, like, this is weird. Something's going on here?

[Dave Fleming]

Well, I showed up just for the. The traffic accident aspect of it, right? I'm like, Prince is either gonna get testy or angry or he's not gonna speak. He's just gonna stand there. Something's gonna go sideways. And so I came in a little bit late. All the seats were filled. And I'm standing against the wall next to the stage, just waiting to see, right? And. And what you notice is, wow, there's. There's instruments on the. On the riser.

[Pablo Torre]

He is truly an icon. 100 million albums, six Grammys, five American Music Awards, Rock and Roll hall of Fame. One of the greatest performers of our time. We're so pleased to have Prince, the.

[Dave Fleming]

Producer of the halftime show, introduces him. He comes out of a hallway. A guy hands him his guitar. You know, the one from Purple Rain with, like, the cheetah print. And Prince is dressed in this like it's Miami. So it's like an. It's like a coral jumpsuit or something. It's just like perfection, of course. So then Prince comes to the mic and he goes, contrary to rumor, I.

[Pablo Torre]

Like to take a few questions right now.

[Dave Fleming]

And so somebody stands up in the. In the press corps and begins to ask a question. And in the middle of the question, Prince goes, 1, 2, 3, and jumps into Johnny Be Good.

[Ryan Cortez]

Who was the reporter who asked that question? We gotta know.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes.

[Dave Fleming]

The head of NFL Media and. And Publicity. Brian McCarthy. I talked to him for this because he was in charge of that press conference. And I said to him, I'm like, I don't know if it's a secret, but I've been dying to know who the reporter was that Prince cut off.

[Pablo Torre]

In the middle of his question that Prince dunked on.

[Dave Fleming]

And I always thought it was just some poor guy who was probably so nervous from, like, the Green Bay Gazette.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah. From a Journal Sentinel or a Gazette or something.

[Dave Fleming]

But I'm breaking news right now. We are breaking news right now. It turns out it was an inside job, believe it or not.

[Chris Isaac]

It was the musician Chris Isaac who was working on behalf of Extra, who was there as the special talent.

[Dave Fleming]

It was the musician Chris Isaac.

[Pablo Torre]

What?

[Dave Fleming]

Yes. Who was working for one of those entertainment TV channels.

[Ryan Cortez]

It was a bit.

[Dave Fleming]

It was a bit.

[Pablo Torre]

It was. It was a. It was a psyop, an actual psyop perpetrated by Prince. And Chris Isaac playing the role of one of us. And so how does he follow up? Johnny B. Good.

[Dave Fleming]

He goes from Johnny B. Good to another lover.

[Pablo Torre]

It is very rare, it occurs to me, flam for the NFL as this institution that is demanding control at every turn is not aware of, like, what's about to happen here. And so the NFL. What is the NFL thinking? What is that guy Brian McCarthy thinking as prince is getting in deeper and deeper into a set list that only he knows?

[Dave Fleming]

I think they're thrilled, first of all, because I think they knew, going right up to the last second, that Prince could just do a double bird and go, you know, f y', all, I'll see you on Sunday, or whatever. And I think they knew right away he was not someone they could control at all.

[Chris Isaac]

There was no discussion of what he should play, what he shouldn't play. That was really left up to. To his camp. And so we knew general time, you know, time, length. And also, keep in mind, NFL Network was still relatively new. They covered this live. So they carried this live, the entirety of it, and they said that was, you know, some of the greatest entertainment they could imagine to have live on NFL Network.

[Dave Fleming]

And so they were grateful that he agreed to play. And. But he wouldn't tell them what. They rehearsed a bunch of songs. He wouldn't tell them what he was going to play, what he was going to say. Prince is the only person maybe in the world, in the history of the world that could make the super bowl his right. He made Prince made the super bowl look small, that that's what he did. He made the NFL look feeble. And, and it was like they were just grateful to be in his presence.

[Pablo Torre]

All due respect to Taylor Swift, but what Prince does, he doesn't just exceed your expectations. He kind of says you while doing it.

[Dave Fleming]

I, I mean, and that, that was exactly the vibe that Brian McCarthy described in that they were worried he was going to half ass it. And somebody with Prince goes, oh, no, you don't know Prince. He doesn't do anything halfway or even 100%. He, it will be amazing.

[Chris Isaac]

This is Prince. He doesn't go, you know, quarter way. He doesn't go halfway. He goes all the way.

[Dave Fleming]

This guy, he's just a higher form of human being than the rest of us. I can barely get my mic hooked up for this interview and Prince is like, he's in the middle of like a menage a trois and he's doing a guitar solo, right? It's like, just like, and he's not even sweating.

[Pablo Torre]

Are you immediately thinking to yourself, this is, I'm, I'm witnessing something special. Like you, you are standing along the wall. And he gets to the crescendo, I guess. What is the crescendo? How are you describing your emotional reaction to that?

[Dave Fleming]

It's stunned silence. It's again, it's like watching a UFO land in your backyard. You just, no one could move. No one knew what to do. No one. Do we cheer? Do we cry?

[Pablo Torre]

Journalistically speaking, I, I, it is our code phlegm. We don't applaud. Certainly not at a press conference.

[Dave Fleming]

Yeah. And I think Brian McCarthy tried to explain that to Prince going in that he's like, look, these are media members. They're probably not your target audience. And they're trained like not to applaud or whatever. And that is funny because as that now we're into like the 6th, 7th, 8th minute. And so Prince does Another Lover. Then he does, he does the rock lobster guitar riff from the B52s.

[Pablo Torre]

Just because he can.

[Dave Fleming]

Then he goes into get on the boat. You can see, you can see what's happening. He's starting to get pissed that because he's like, you, it's okay, you guys, you can, you can stand up.

[Pablo Torre]

Come on, you can.

[Dave Fleming]

He's, he's starting to like get mad that people aren't, that he's not winning.

[Pablo Torre]

People over by the end of this. Does journalism itself applaud what it has just seen?

[Dave Fleming]

We blew it. We just, it was like the greatest moment, just completely embarrassing.

[Ryan Cortez]

You're including yourself.

[Dave Fleming]

It is Embarrassing.

[Ryan Cortez]

Why didn't you. You know how important this is? Why didn't you stand up and be the. The force you want to see?

[Dave Fleming]

I blame you and I blame myself. I should have, like, streaked across the stage or something, right? I do remember, like, screaming and like. Or, like, going, yeah. And it's like. But the people right in front of Princess, again, just. Just no reaction. And you can just see him slowly start to check out, and it's just like, oh, my God. We insulted Prince. We insulted Prince. So I was lucky enough, I grew up in the 80s in Detroit, and he used to start all of his concert tours in Detroit with, like, it was, like, a week of dress rehearsals. So in my, like, high school and college years, I saw Prince probably 10 times and nothing compared to this. 12 minutes, right? That felt like an. An hour.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah. Yeah. Dave Fleming, thank you.

[Ryan Cortez]

What a reporter.

[Pablo Torre]

Thank you for your reporting and you for not betraying it and acknowledging what you were seeing at the time.

[Dave Fleming]

Yes. Huge regret. Thank you very much. Now I have to live with that. And I know Prince is among us still. My deepest apologies to you, sir. And, man, thank you for blessing us with your presence because we did not deserve it.

[Ryan Cortez]

Foreign.

[Caller]

Hey, Pablo. The super bowl has me thinking about the relationship between athletes and brand recognition. Who has the best stat sheet when it comes to partnerships, sponsors, endorsements, cameos, which athlete has the best marketing resume?

[Pablo Torre]

I mean, there are some great. Especially out of the NFL. There have been some great commercial actors.

[Ryan Cortez]

Yeah. I think of Jimmy Butler, myself.

[Pablo Torre]

Okay. Nicola Baltra. Not even close to the list that I'm thinking of.

[Shaquille O'Neal]

I won't dance.

[Tariq Hill]

Oh, yes, I will.

[Pablo Torre]

That stupid Michelob Ultra commercial where they can't even, like, pretend to be the Miami Heat because they don't have the logo, insignias, legally speaking.

[Ryan Cortez]

And they put them on screen for, like, two seconds only. Very disrespectful.

[Pablo Torre]

But the NFL. Peyton Manning, of course, an old timer. Baker Mayfield. Plausibly living in a stadium at home with Baker Mayfield.

[Dave Fleming]

Hey, the rain's coming. Furniture is gonna get soaked.

[Pablo Torre]

One of the great accomplishments of commercial acting, in my opinion.

[Ryan Cortez]

Cam Newton had one, too, right?

[Pablo Torre]

Cam Newton was pretty good.

[Ryan Cortez]

Russell Westbrook had only threw one out of the stadium.

[Pablo Torre]

O.J. simpson, actually.

[Caller]

Nobody does it better than her.

[Pablo Torre]

Nobody does it better. Yeah. Famously running through that airport. But there is only one. When it comes to, like, the prolific nature of a commercial pitch man, there's really only one answer to this question.

[Shaquille O'Neal]

All sport. After all sport, the game was a breeze. Now, with the age of beard I got my mojo going strong. I gotta get a Whopper. You don't know Buick. Attention cruise fans. Carnival is bringing you three and four day mini cruises, but Chris Christie is different. The Comcast has way better HD picture and the most HD choices. Just feeling Joe. But I bet I love Kellogg's Frosted Flakes more than you do. I use new gold Bond men's lotion to look good or feel good. Yes, I do. Introducing Icy Hot Pro, go big and JCPenney style and buy you for all. It's crunch time. My name is Shaquille o' Neal and I'm one of the Power Balance Generals. Want to thank Snap Sports original suitman. No suit for you. Get your anonymous online quote with low payments and ride with the general. When I first joined the board of Papa John's, I brought some big ideas. We're going to need more pepperoni.

[Pablo Torre]

So I just want people to know that there's more. We had to stop counting Shaq endorsements once we got into like the 50s. That's a lot. Yeah, that's a lot of. That's a lot of pepperoni.

[Ryan Cortez]

It feels low.

[Pablo Torre]

My, my.

[Ryan Cortez]

You know, my takeaway was that he's really good at this. He's very charismatic. He's a good actor. Why the hell wasn't Kazaam a better movie?

[Pablo Torre]

You're asking why is the least discerning commercial actor of all time not in a better movie?

[Ryan Cortez]

I'm asking why one of the most charismatic people I've ever seen on screen.

[Pablo Torre]

Wasn'T a better genie.

[Ryan Cortez]

Yeah, it wasn't a better 7 foot genie in 1998 or whenever the hell it was next.

[Caller]

What's up, Pablo? This is Brandon from Los Angeles. I saw that flag football is going to be an Olympic Sport starting in 2028. Does that mean we're going to have a dream team with like Patrick Mahomes to Tyree Hill versus, like Lamar Jackson to like, whoever? I hope so. Let's go Team usa.

[Pablo Torre]

So I want to start by saying the Pro bowl or whatever it's called now was dumb.

[Ryan Cortez]

Flag football has some things about it that display the behavior of dumb in terms of like, how are we going to know when the flag was pulled?

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, oh, you're, you're. You're already thinking about people who are like, defrauding the referees.

[Ryan Cortez]

Yeah. Like, if somebody's going and they're so quick, what if they pull the flag 10 yards back? It's, it's a instant replay nightmare. We're going to have to constantly vet Out. When was the flag actually pulled?

[Pablo Torre]

I cannot believe you pointed to your head like that was. Think about it, bro.

[Ryan Cortez]

Asmr.

[Pablo Torre]

You could hear it. God. The thing that people need to respect about flag football, at the very least, despite it being, yes, dumb in lots of respects, is that it's already a thing. So there is a flag football national team.

[Ryan Cortez]

Oh, really?

[Pablo Torre]

They're the best in the world. The men are. They have a quarterback. This guy Darrell Doucette played in college or something? No. Okay. He played intramural at Xavier University in Louisiana. Apparently played intramural and now he's a gold medalist in these world championships. That happened recently. And he actually had the occasion at said Pro bowl weekend extravaganza thing to talk to Tyreek Hill. And I don't know if he came away loving the NFL as a result.

[Tariq Hill]

Tariq, when they announced that flag football was an Olympic sport, you were one of the first people to post about it. What does that mean? That means that I will be competing. That's what it means, baby. You feel me? I'm out there. And who the quarterback for who? The USA team?

[Ryan Cortez]

You're talking to them, boy.

[Tariq Hill]

Them boy gonna pick you off left and right, boy. Your receivers ain't gonna get open. You say our receivers not gonna get open, but y' all can't pull flags, so I'm pulling the flags. I know how to play flag. I grew up playing flag football. My mom ain't want me to play tackle football. I grew up playing flag, so I know how to do all that. All that.

[Pablo Torre]

I hate that Tyree Kill did the thing that you just did.

[Ryan Cortez]

Looks familiar, right?

[Pablo Torre]

The. The institution of flag football, out of deference to them, because this is actually an Olympic sport. Somehow we ended up talking to the CEO of USA Football, this guy, Scott Hallenbeck, and he explained how it is that the NFL might actually get involved in trying to get some gold.

[Ryan Cortez]

He's the CEO, so I mean, he must have like done intramural or something at least, right?

[Scott Hallenbeck]

Flag football is different than traditional football or the NFL football as most people know it. First and foremost for its really the creativity, the elusiveness, the fast paced, high scoring aspects of it. We'd start with the field. So it's a 50 yard by 25 yard field. So tight, narrow, 5 on 5 versus 11 on 11, zero contact. The hardest position right now on within flag is definitely defense, partly because of the contact rules, partly just because it's challenging to cover these folks on a small field. Flag pulling is a distinctly different talent. The Offensive players are constantly dipping and spinning and obviously trying. They have something called flag guarding. You can't do is put your arm out or effectively cover the flag in any way. You almost have to run with your arms up. A lot of times you see these guys spin and dip. In that respect, the conversations about the potential of NFL players being on Team USA and ultimately Olympics is obviously one that we take very seriously. We're super excited about. You want to go beyond the idea of an all star team and really create an integrated, cohesive unit. There is no question there's a difference between, you know, the quality of NFL tackle football and of course, flag football. Not to suggest for a second that Tariq Hill, Lamar Jackson, et cetera, et cetera, can't make that transition. Of course they can. They're elite, amazing athletes. But there is time, especially on the defensive side. It takes time to again, transition. Just look at even the Pro bowl last year. It was really interesting to watch the inherent natural body movements, right? There'll be moments where someone's catching a pass and they're running through the defenders. Almost every play there would be a flag. So, like taking the time to really understand that and learn that everybody needs to make that transition. Now again, is that a month? Is that three months, six months? We don't know that yet. That'll be a sort of work in progress together to sort all that out. I would argue that Christian McCaffrey probably would be an amazing player and flag. I actually lean on the defensive side because I know that's. That's where I think, frankly, the gold medal will be won. Is really a sauce. Gardner, Jalen Ramsey, I mean, they will be very successful in this style of game. It makes it very fun. I think it would be really cool to see a blend Lamar Jackson at quarterback and, you know, someone else, one of our current elite athletes or those that are coming up through our 15, 17s and sort of 20 and underage groups that are playing in college right now, etc. That might have a chance to, to represent their country.

[Pablo Torre]

NFL teams are never going to want to do this.

[Ryan Cortez]

You know who is going to want to do this?

[Pablo Torre]

I mean, employers going to let their players play flag football? No, you're right. Rep and acl.

[Ryan Cortez]

You're right. It's a liability. And so the person that I think of that would want to do this the most.

[Pablo Torre]

Antonio Brown.

[Ryan Cortez]

No. Dominique Foxworth.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan Cortez]

Like competitive as well.

[Pablo Torre]

Retired NFL players who are delusional about who, about how good they are and.

[Ryan Cortez]

Like the whole video that we just watched was about corners, how good they are.

[Dave Fleming]

That's.

[Pablo Torre]

That's a very good point.

[Ryan Cortez]

And he's gonna get hurt.

[Pablo Torre]

Absolutely. Yeah. It is perfect. If this sport is not played by NFL players or like the actual flag football, like national world champions, but just like gas bags on TV who have.

[Ryan Cortez]

Nothing to lose, who can do their.

[Pablo Torre]

Jobs while in a wheelchair.

[Ryan Cortez]

Well, that's nothing to lose except embarrassment.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, he claims to run like a 4:3 or whatever it is.

[Ryan Cortez]

No, the thing about it is no one will talk more about it than him. And no one is going to get hurt quicker than that man because he hasn't played in so long. I'm telling you, he's going to get hurt.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes. Who's laughing like a mischievous villain now? Still me, actually, still me. Okay.

[Ryan Cortez]

That was me doing the Pablo impression of the. Get it.

[Pablo Torre]

Back to the job that we're here to do. 51385. Pablo, great phone number. Super Bowl. Not mailbag. Mailbag call. What's next? Yo, Pablo.

[Caller]

First time, long time. So my favorite social media account is Armegas Sports. It's so good.

[Pablo Torre]

But the guy claims that he does it with no AI. That makes no sense. That can't be true.

[Caller]

Right?

[Pablo Torre]

So I love this question because this guy is somebody who has been fascinating me every NFL Sunday especially. And so when, when the super bowl happens, Cortez and a hundred bazillion Americans are watching this. Those who are on social media are going to see, inevitably, this guy, Arpa make it sports. This account, with hundreds of thousands of followers, instantly locate a painting, a work of art from history as far back as like the Renaissance, and match it to something that just happened virally in the game that we're all watching.

[Ryan Cortez]

Apparently this guy has a big following. I. I found out about him because he did this to the Jason.

[Pablo Torre]

Jason Kelsey.

[Ryan Cortez]

I haven't seen that one.

[Pablo Torre]

He jumps out of the Buffalo Bills like Skybox, and he's compared to immediately, like the perfect work of art.

[Ryan Cortez]

Huh. I saw the one he did to Dan Levitzard, which I thought was pretty good.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, with.

[Ryan Cortez]

With Dan's hair and it's going everywhere.

[Pablo Torre]

And I thought, oh, yeah, yeah, okay. Like the sad. I get it. European clown and how he does it. I wanted to investigate this and find out for myself how he actually pulls this off so quickly.

[Ryan Cortez]

Like, is he cheating?

[Pablo Torre]

Is he on some sort of art peds? Right. Is it machines? And so we invited him, the man behind the account, to sit where you're sitting right now. I should say that My favorite Twitter account is sitting across from me, which is very disorienting thing to have art, but make it sports at art, but sports here. And I should say that I don't know what your actual name is. So who are you really?

[LJ Raider]

Just beep boop bop as a robot? My name's lj. I guess LJ Raider is my full name, but tend to not say my actual name on the account. The account is me. There's nobody else.

[Pablo Torre]

It's just a dude who is wearing a sad Nick sweater.

[LJ Raider]

Yeah. Although this year, maybe we have a chance.

[Pablo Torre]

This is just getting sadder. It's getting sadder. But lj, okay, so it's just you is one thing that I've already found out. That's news to me. The second thing that I'm here to verify is that you don't use artificial intelligence.

[LJ Raider]

Correct. So no AI to do the matches. If I go to a museum and take pictures there, I have them all on my phone. I don't take a picture of the nameplate because I don't have enough space on my phone, and that takes twice as much time. So if I do end up using a photo that I've taken at a museum, I'll use Google lens on that photo to pull up the title, the artist, and the year that I use in the caption. So I don't. I don't have those memorized at all, which would be absolutely insane. So I use AI for that portion, but it's not to do the actual mashups. It's just to save myself from taking a picture of that nameplate.

[Pablo Torre]

So a correction immediately is that this is all absolutely insane. The idea that you see a photograph of anything in sports, in life, and you find a disturbingly close match to a piece of art from any period in art history, which is human history. And you're saying, you're telling me right now that the only thing you use the computer for is to help name and identify the actual painting that you saw originally. Because you were out at a museum somewhere, just saying, like, oh, that looks interesting.

[LJ Raider]

I've always sort of seen things through a sports lens. And so going to museums, you know, I look at a painting and somebody might see, you know, something. Something beautiful. And I see, you know, the Knicks crumbling in the playoffs, or, you know, that's kind of where my mind goes.

[Pablo Torre]

And the problem is that I don't think people believe you.

[LJ Raider]

Nobody believes.

[Pablo Torre]

And so we're here today to test this. We will put you to a. An actual scientific challenge. You will prove to us that you can do this as just a sad dude in a Nick's sweatshirt and just using his brain and not computers. But I want to show people some of the stuff that you've done which makes people think that you are a computer.

[LJ Raider]

Cool.

[Pablo Torre]

There are some all time great ones. This isn't even a sports one. Can we start with the Bass Pro shops guy? So this dude was naked in a Bass pro shop, dived into the pool, emerged from the pool, just laying across the floor. And you found what that matched this? Because it's incredible.

[LJ Raider]

I think it's a Bruegel. Yeah, it's either Bruegel or Bosch.

[Pablo Torre]

So LJ is looking at his phone for people not watching on YouTube or the Japanese network. The catalog, the handheld catalog of just apparently paintings.

[LJ Raider]

Yeah. So Bruegel, him and Bosch tend to have scenes with lots of people and lots of naked people as well. More Bosch naked than Brugal.

[Pablo Torre]

Gonna adjust my power rankings for nudity.

[LJ Raider]

For nudity.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hieronymous Bosch. Yeah, more than Bruegel.

[LJ Raider]

But got lucky that it was both. Somebody in a similar position. But then also the water nearby I think is the levels.

[Pablo Torre]

Okay, so the levels to LJ's matches here are what makes this beautiful. I mean, for instance, just like Taylor Swift behind that frosted window.

[LJ Raider]

Yeah. So actually the first image I saw was one that Taylor Swift was inside looking to her left out the window. And I had something actually prepped for that, like a Vermeer with a woman looking out the window. It's like a very, just like common theme in art history, you basic Cullen Vermeer. And then I saw this version and just knew the. I guess the red kerchief painting.

[Pablo Torre]

So this is my high school art history. This is Claude Monet. I want to pull up the. The time that Draymond Green was choking Rudy Gobert of just Rudy in the crook of Draymond's elbow. Reminded you of what?

[LJ Raider]

John the Baptist with his head on a platter or some derivation of that. That title. That moment, I wasn't watching that game. I looked down at my phone and it just blew up with images and different angles. I think I did a few different ones from that, that moment.

[Pablo Torre]

It's the angle like the. In profile, John the Baptist's. Is that a severed head?

[LJ Raider]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah. Okay, so the severed, decapitated head of John the Baptist is at the exact angle. Same angle, nose and brow as Rudy Gobert. And it's. I. I believe that's like a platter of some kind.

[LJ Raider]

Yeah, exactly.

[Pablo Torre]

So Caitlin Clark is somebody who is arguably the biggest name in college sports right now, Iowa sharpshooter person who likes to celebrate. And so this is her celebrating, holding her hand to her left ear as if to say, like, you know, I can't hear you. You found someone who is doing literally that from where?

[LJ Raider]

There is a painting in the Met depicting echo. And that painting has hands on both ears. And so when she first pulled this out in a game, I was like, do I want to use that one? And it didn't quite feel right because it was. I don't know, it just wanted to get the one hand. So I started looking through, you know, art history, theme of echo and depictions, and ended up finding this one and worked out pretty well. I think I flipped it. I think the original one has the hand on the other ear, but flipped it to match.

[Pablo Torre]

So I want to test this self described ability now.

[LJ Raider]

Cool.

[Pablo Torre]

So what we've done is we've collected photographs that you have not seen before. The moment that we present them to you, these are things that I enjoy. Some of my favorites. And we want to watch your process.

[LJ Raider]

Lj, I think I mentioned this before, but this is terrifying. I've never actually done this other than being in the comfort of my couch and. Or just kind of on my phone.

[Pablo Torre]

I can imagine. But let's start with the classic, right? Let's try Bobby or on for lj. God. So this is Bobby, or fully horizontal, of course. Famous photo, arms extended.

[LJ Raider]

So, I mean, this would be like St. Francis receiving the stigmata.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, I mean, that is. That's. That's. That's pretty good. So I want to give you something a bit distinctive to play off of. And so this is me dressed as an orca.

[LJ Raider]

Oh, God.

[Pablo Torre]

This is me hosting the Dan LeBatard show with Stugatz. I am dressed as an orca. My fins are to my face and I am afraid.

[LJ Raider]

So I think I've done this one before, actually. This reminded me of a Georgia o' Keeffe painting.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, my God.

[LJ Raider]

Of course. Who is the. You know, the petals and face and.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, you can say what Georgia o' Keeffe is mostly depicting.

[LJ Raider]

Yeah. I don't even know what you would.

[Pablo Torre]

It's a vagina.

[LJ Raider]

Vagina. There you go. But your face is the clitoris.

[Pablo Torre]

And Georgia o' Keeffe is a titan of our history, and it's an honor to be compared to one of her vaginas. Another paragon of the human form is Dan LeBatard. Stretched out across his pool table, wearing only swim trunks, looking confused, but also weirdly confident.

[LJ Raider]

He's beautiful. So these poses tend to come up a lot, and there's a whole bunch of different ways that I could take it. I guess what Venus of Urbino would be one of them. There's an artist, Henry Moore, that has more sculpture based reclining. No offense to tan, but maybe if Botero has a reclining figure, that would work well.

[Pablo Torre]

But wow. So just for people who weren't clocking what LJ just apologized for here, you're saying less sculpture, more flesh.

[LJ Raider]

Rubenesque.

[Pablo Torre]

Rubenesque, as they say in the world of art. Meaning, I think chubby. Yeah, chubby. But that, that was, that was a thing that of course, artists have quite valued in their, in their subjects.

[LJ Raider]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm reluctant to do this a bit, but it's an iconic photograph in the annals of sports media. Because this is maybe the most famous couch I can recall in our business. It is a couch that had Jason Whitlock sleeping on it. His legs are, are white sneakers and all in blue jeans out in front. And he is hitting a REM cycle. Lj, like that is a deep ass sleep.

[LJ Raider]

Look at the. Like it's, it's recessed.

[Pablo Torre]

That's right.

[LJ Raider]

He's part of the couch now.

[Pablo Torre]

It is a man in the place that he feels safest, it feels like. And this, this angle of repose resembles what to you?

[LJ Raider]

Yeah. So first, at first glance, and it would be a kind of a juxtaposition in that Flaming June, which is on display at the Met right now. This very pure and beautiful in a similar pose to Whitlock, and then him on the other side being all gross and disgusting. But yeah, Flaming June's the first thing that came to mind. Even though it's like different colors and predominantly orange.

[Pablo Torre]

That's a great one, though. The coup de grace, though, for me, one I've always wanted to have you make art out of sports with, is the famous image that changed college football's destiny. Because this is Urban Meyer at his own bar, not leaving room for the Holy Ghost. Lj, this is him kind of half sitting, but grinding on an unknown blonde haired young woman. And this was of course posted. He gets ousted for this and more at Ohio State and nothing is ever the same. And so in this grinding, this infamous grinding, there is what there is Urban.

[LJ Raider]

With his hand in a place where it shouldn't be.

[Pablo Torre]

There is also the hand, I should point out. There's also a hand definitively and very clearly doing something it shouldn't. But what. What does this remind you?

[LJ Raider]

I was like. I. I then realized you were asking me what piece of art. So there's a photo that I took at the National Gallery. It's called the Good Samaritan.

[Pablo Torre]

That's hysterical.

[LJ Raider]

Jacopo Bassano, again, I urge you to.

[Pablo Torre]

Go to YouTube or the DraftKings network to see the Good Samaritan, who has a similar level of desperation on his face, as well as an angle holding what seems to be a person in need who is similarly disinterested in what the person behind them is offering them from behind. That is incredible. But I want to bring it back to me near the end here, because in the PTFO universe, I've always thought of my own calves as a work of art. And so this is me, honestly, I think, more flexible than anybody who works on my show realized. Unsheathing my left calf. My leg is in the air. It's. It's pretty explicit, admittedly. What does this remind you of?

[LJ Raider]

Yeah. So two things. There's a sculpture of a dog peeing on a building that I've used for the Ole Miss end zone touchdown celebration. I want to say it was Elijah Moore.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes. Elijah Moore peed during the egg bowl and cost him the game. Arguably, pantomime peeing.

[LJ Raider]

There's another painting that almost certainly will need to be censored, but a Gustave Courbet painting, Women's genitalia has been a theme of.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm realizing that this entire test has mostly resulted in you comparing me to female genitalia.

[LJ Raider]

Apologize. Yeah, first. First thing that comes to mind.

[Pablo Torre]

If this didn't actually look like this, I'd be a lot madder at you. For the record. But for the record as well. You and Gustav Corbett. It's fair.

[Ryan Cortez]

Now, you know I don't like Knicks fans, so I noticed, you know, you had a Knicks fan in my seat. I don't appreciate that. Beyond that, this is. The show prides itself on journalism, on reporting. Did you talk to anyone besides him?

[Pablo Torre]

We just tested him.

[Ryan Cortez]

It's just one person.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, we presented him with numerous examples, and he generated it on command.

[Ryan Cortez]

That could have been edited. Like one person.

[Pablo Torre]

He has those chess player anal beads where someone's telling him spelling out Gus Gustave Courbet.

[Ryan Cortez]

All I'm saying is in his ass. I'm not convinced yet. Just saying.

[Pablo Torre]

Fine. If you. If you have a lead on LJ Raider using anal beads. 51385. Pablo, let. Let us know if Ryan Cortez's theory holds any weight.

[Ryan Cortez]

And are we done here so I can like, you know, warm up my nipples or.

[Pablo Torre]

No, put those away. We are done. Finally. I should go to a doctor. But seriously, do call 51385. Pablo, if you have any actual journalistic inquiries, we will solve them for you. And I hesitate to thank Ryan Cortez right now after all of that, but Pablo Torre finds out is in fact produced by Michael Antonucci, Ryan Cortez, Sam Dawig, Juan Galindo, Patrick Kim, Neely Loman, Rachel Miller, Howard, Ethan Schreier, Carl Scott, Matt Sullivan, Chris Tominiello and Juliet Warren. Studio engineering by RG Systems Post production by NGW Post our theme song by John Bravo and we will return on Tuesday with one of my favorite episodes we've ever done. One of my favorite conversations with two of my favorite people, actually. As if that's not enough of a tease for you. So, yeah, we'll see you then.