Episode Overview

Episode Title: An Invite-Only Halftime Show, the King of Commercials, and Taylor Swift's Secret Weapon: Your Super Bowl Mysteries, Solved
Podcast: Pablo Torre Finds Out
Host: Pablo Torre, with Ryan Cortez and guest correspondents
Date: February 9, 2024

This Super Bowl-themed episode is a playful, call-in-driven “Non-Mailbag Mailbag” talkumentary that dives into urgent Super Bowl mysteries and cultural questions. Pablo and Ryan mix listener voicemails, sharp reporting, irreverent banter, and special guest insights to discuss: the best halftime show in NFL history (hint: a secret Prince performance), the GOAT of athlete endorsements, Taylor Swift’s Person of the Year win (and her cat), the challenges of Olympic flag football, and the viral genius behind ‘Art But Make It Sports.’

Key Discussion Points & Episode Breakdown

1. Kicking Off—Jokes, Laughter, and Miami Heat Nightmares

[00:00–05:10]

• Pablo and Ryan riff on Pablo’s distinctive laugh after a voicemail roasts him (“You laugh like a comic book villain who has just executed an ingeniously elaborate plan which results in a minor crime.” — Dominique Foxworth, [02:15]).
• A listener is terrified by the Miami Heat’s mascot, “Burnie.” Ryan claims it looks like “a cocaine bird,” referencing both Miami culture and the mascot’s lawsuits and celebrity run-ins.

2. Time Person of the Year, Super Bowl Cliques, and Taylor Swift’s Cat

[06:09–09:24]

• Listener asks about Time Magazine’s Person of the Year criteria (not “Times Magazine,” as one caller calls it). Pablo recounts his experience at a Time Person of the Year banquet and how the honor has shifted from historical figures (FDR, Hitler, Stalin) to mainstream icons like Taylor Swift.
• They joke about giving the Person of the Year to Taylor Swift’s cat, Benjamin Button.
  Quote: “Congratulations to Benjamin Button the cat. Pablo Torre finds out Person of the Year.” — Pablo, [09:16]

3. The Greatest Halftime Performance: The Secret Prince Show

[10:25–23:45]

• Voicemail wonders about the best Super Bowl halftime show.
  • Pablo and Ryan admit their music tastes are out of step, but agree: Prince is GOAT.
• Guest: Dave Fleming, ESPN Senior Writer, shares the legendary story about Prince’s secret 2007 Super Bowl press conference performance for an audience of 800 incredulous, unsavvy media—the true best Super Bowl show ever.
  • [12:04] Flem: “At some point, Pablo, you lose track. Somewhere north of 25 [Super Bowls].”
  • [15:25] Producer introduces Prince; Prince takes the mic: “Contrary to rumor, I like to take a few questions right now… 1, 2, 3—Johnny B. Goode.”
  • It turns out the first “question” was secretly staged by Chris Isaak.
  • NFL had no control, Prince never revealed what songs he’d play, but delivered a face-melting 12-minute show.
    Quote: “Prince is the only person maybe in the world, in the history of the world that could make the super bowl… his. He made the NFL look feeble.” — Dave Fleming, [18:53]
• Pablo: “What Prince does, he doesn’t just exceed your expectations. He kind of says ‘f you’ while doing it.” [19:23]
• The press conference crowd remains mostly silent, not sure how to respond. “It’s like watching a UFO land in your backyard.” — Dave Fleming, [20:31]
  • Regret: “We blew it… It was like the greatest moment, just completely embarrassing.” — Dave Fleming, [22:02]

4. Athlete Endorsements: The King of Commercials

[23:52–26:31]

• Who is the king of sports endorsements? Shaq, hands down. Montage of his countless commercials: All Sport, Icy Hot, Papa John’s, Buick, The General, Gold Bond, JCPenney, Frosted Flakes, and more.
  • Quote: “We had to stop counting Shaq endorsements once we got into, like, the 50s.” — Pablo Torre, [26:06]
• They joke about Shaq’s charisma and why he wasn’t a bigger movie star:
  • “Why the hell wasn’t Kazaam a better movie?” — Ryan Cortez, [26:18]

5. Olympic Flag Football—NFL Stars as the New Dream Team?

[26:43–33:12]

• Flag football is debuting at the LA 2028 Olympics.
  • Will we see Mahomes and Tyreek Hill face international teams?
• Concerns about NFLers truly participating—injury liability, instant replay headaches, actual skillset needs.
  • Guest: Scott Hallenbeck, CEO of USA Football explains how flag football is different:
    • 5-on-5, 50 x 25 yard field, elusiveness is crucial, defense is tough, technique heavily matters ([29:42–32:17]).
    • Transition from tackle to flag is tricky, even for NFL elite; likely, national teamers will dominate, not NFL Dream Teams.
  • Pablo: “NFL teams are never going to want to do this… Employers aren’t going to let their players play flag football!”

6. Viral Genius: “Art But Make It Sports” Decoded

[33:48–48:29]

• The viral “Art But Make It Sports” account blows up every NFL Sunday.
  • Voicemail skepticism: Is he using AI?
  • Pablo interviews LJ Raider (@ArtButSports) to test if he’s truly a one-man, non-AI operation.
  • LJ shares his process—no AI for matches, only Google Lens to look up painting names.
    • Quote: “If I go to a museum and take pictures there, I have them all on my phone… I use AI for that portion, but it’s not to do the actual mashups.” — LJ Raider, [36:28]
  • Demonstrates his process live:
    • Compares Pablo in orca costume to…a Georgia O’Keeffe vagina (“Your face is the clitoris”)
    • Dan Le Batard, Jason Whitlock, Urban Meyer — all matched to classic works.
  • Skeptical Ryan Cortez returns: “He has those chess player anal beads where someone’s telling him the answer.” ([48:51])

7. Memorable Quotes & Comic Moments

• On Pablo’s Laugh: “You laugh like a comic book villain who has just executed an ingeniously elaborate plan which results in a minor crime.” — Dominique Foxworth’s text to Pablo, [02:15]
• On the Miami Heat Mascot: “That bird looks like a bird that’s done cocaine.” — Ryan Cortez, [03:40]
• On Prince: “Prince is the only person maybe in the world…that could make the super bowl his.” — Dave Fleming, [18:53]
• On Shaq: “We had to stop counting Shaq endorsements once we got into the 50s.” — Pablo Torre, [26:06]
• On Taylor Swift: “If we’re getting into the pandering wars, let’s give it to the other person on there. Her cat.” — Pablo Torre, [09:01]
• On “Art But Make It Sports”: “The idea that you see a photograph of anything in sports… and you find a disturbingly close match to a piece of art from any period in art history… is absolutely insane.” — Pablo Torre, [37:09]

Notable Segment Timestamps

• Pablo’s laugh roasted: [01:19–02:26]
• Miami Heat mascot (Burnie): [03:13–04:31]
• Time Person of the Year/Taylor Swift’s cat: [06:52–09:24]
• Greatest halftime show intro: [10:25–11:55]
• Dave Fleming’s Prince story begins: [12:04]
• Prince interrupts for “Johnny B. Goode”: [15:25–16:26]
• Shaq: King of Commercials montage: [25:15–26:06]
• Flag football & Olympics: [27:09–32:17]
• Art But Make It Sports interview/test: [35:51–48:29]

Episode Tone & Takeaways

• Irreverent, playful, and deeply knowledgeable—with plenty of inside jokes, listener engagement, and meta-commentary on sports, art, media, and culture.
• The best Super Bowl halftime performance ever may not have happened at halftime at all, but in a secret Prince media performance that only a few hundred people will ever claim to have witnessed.
• Endorsement deals? There’s Shaq, and there’s everybody else.
• Taylor Swift’s real secret weapon is meme synergy—and, of course, her cat.
• Flag football’s Olympic moment will likely belong to its little-known heroes, not just NFL stars.
• Sometimes the most perfect cultural commentary lives at the intersection of a falling NFL player and a northern Renaissance painting.

For next steps:

• Call in to 51385-PABLO if you have mysteries you want solved (journalistic or otherwise)
• Consider your own laughter; someone is listening.