Podcast Summary

Pablo Torre Finds Out

Episode: "Is Troy Aikman the White Jay-Z? Does LeBron Use Gmail? And More of Your Burning Curiosities, Solved"

Date: October 3, 2023
Host: Pablo Torre (with Ryan Cortez)
Notable Guests/Contributors: Mike Schur, Stugotz, Katie Nolan, Cardale Jones, Andrew Lopez, Rachel Miller Howard

Brief Overview

In this lively and irreverent episode, Pablo Torre and producer Ryan Cortez conduct a "voicemail bag," taking listener-submitted questions on everything from sports celebrities' email providers to odd rumors about athletes and pop culture doppelgängers. Using a mix of reporting, interviews, and playful banter, they dive deep into internet curiosities and unearth the real stories (and hilarious reactions) behind them. Highlights include exclusive reporting on LeBron James' email habits, confirmation regarding the infamous A-Rod centaur painting, an emotional interview with Cardale Jones, and a face-off with Pablo’s real-life "bizarro" doppelganger, actor Andrew Lopez.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Show Structure: Not a Mailbag—It’s a “Voicemail Bag”

• The episode opens with Pablo and Ryan joking about the semantics of a mailbag versus a voicemail bag, with hundreds of listener submissions to sift through.
  • "It's not a mailbag. It's a voicemail bag." (Pablo, 01:45)

2. Miami Heat, Damian Lillard, and the “Cat Bacteria” Theory

• Listener voicemail asks about Miami Heat fans’ intense reactions after the failed Damian Lillard trade.
• Mike Schur poses a tongue-in-cheek question about whether Heat fandom is akin to being infected by "cat bacteria" (toxoplasmosis).
• Ryan Cortez, noted Heat supporter, humorously blames Heat ownership (Mickey Arison) and Pat Riley for not supporting Jimmy Butler enough, but defends the Heat from Schur's accusations.
  • "Jimmy Butler's done far more for Pat Riley than Pat Riley's done for Jimmy Butler." (Ryan, 05:52)

3. THC and Watching Sports

• Following Mad Dog Russo’s on-air gummy, listeners ask about the staff’s cannabis routines before watching sports.
• Pablo reads an (allegedly) anonymous quote detailing what sports are best enjoyed while high—revealed to be Katie Nolan.
  • "I was high as f** when Damar Hamlin almost died and that f**ed me up really badly." (Katie Nolan, 08:12)
• Stugotz calls in with his detailed personal THC schedule for sports viewing:
  • "If it's a weeknight event...I usually take a gummy 90 minutes before the game. Right at tip off, a bong hit." (Stugotz, 09:24)
• Pablo and Cortez admit their own (alleged) routines, with Cortez referencing a device called the "ooze tanker."

4. Troy Aikman: The ‘White Jay-Z’ Meme

• Listener asks whether Troy Aikman is aware of the long-running meme comparing his looks to Jay-Z.
• Pablo confronts Aikman directly during a guest segment on PTI:
  • "Are you aware that the Internet thinks you look like Jay-Z?" (Pablo, 12:00)
  • "Yes, I am aware of that. White Jay-Z. There was a meme..." (Troy Aikman, 12:22)
• Pablo and Cortez debate the photo and credit the internet for this enduring meme.

5. LeBron James’ Email Provider and the ‘Banana Boat’ Crew

• Listener asks: "Does LeBron James use Gmail?"
• Pablo reveals, via exclusive reporting, the email domains of the Banana Boat crew:
  • LeBron James: Own domain
  • Dwyane Wade: Gmail
  • Carmelo Anthony: me.com
  • Chris Paul: Yahoo
  • "LeBron James has his own domain." (Pablo, 15:44)
• Cortez reacts in disbelief, chasing sources.

6. Is the A-Rod Centaur Painting Real?

• Listener references the rumor that Alex Rodriguez owns a centaur painting of himself.
• Pablo traces the origins of the story and details Madonna’s evasive response and A-Rod’s misleading denial.
  • "No, I do not have a painting of my upper body on a minotaur." (A-Rod, 18:12)
• Pablo, citing new anonymous reporting: "The centaur painting is actually real, yo." (Pablo, 18:33)

7. The Heart of Sports: Cardale Jones & the Hospital Game

• Listener asks about Cardale Jones blowing out a sick kid in NCAA Football at a hospital visit.
• Pablo provides context and recounts Cardale’s legendary petty tweet:
  • "I wish everyone stopped saying I beat a kid in the hospital 91-35. It was 98-35..." (Cardale Jones, tweet quoted at 21:08)
• Cardale Jones joins for a touching interview, describing the day, his bond with Jared Foley, and gives an uplifting update on Jared's health.
  • "All I see is big smile...knowing I was a part of that big smile, I want to provide that as much as I can." (Cardale Jones, 25:50)

8. Why Is Stanford’s Mascot a Tree (and Not a Cardinal/Bird)?

• Listener confusion over Stanford’s tree mascot.
• Producer Rachel Miller Howard explains:
  • The tree is the mascot of the band, not the university.
  • “Cardinal” refers to the color, not the bird.
  • Outrageous stories emerge about students vying to be the Tree (including wearing a shock collar and eating live fish).
  • "There is no official mascot of Stanford, but they've got a foliage-garbed maniac and a nice, rich hue." (Rachel, 29:51)

9. Doppelganger Showdown: Pablo Torre vs. Andrew Lopez

• A listener’s voicemail prompts Pablo to meet Andrew Lopez, an actor (Platonic, The Bear) whom fans constantly mistake for him.
• They trade hilarious insecurities, compare their Filipino heritage, and bond over growing up as “ambiguous” Asians in America.
  • "I hated you because the first thing I saw was that you're hotter than me." (Andrew Lopez, 34:51)
  • "I've gone from hating you to being aroused by you...and therefore myself." (Pablo, 38:32)

10. Odds and Ends: Ringing Calls & Recurring Themes

• Listener voicemails spark conversations about odd topics: Jim Rome, Billy Corben, and a proposal for Pablo to podcast with his parents about urology.
• Some callers are so prolific (six calls each!) that Pablo and Cortez jokingly consider hiring them.

11. Wrapping Up

• Pablo reflects on the joy and engagement of listeners (almost 305 voicemails—Miami’s area code) and reiterates that more in-depth questions will be covered in future episodes.
• He and Ryan lovingly (and snarkily) recap the wildest moments and bid goodbye to the club of "finding out."

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|----------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:45 | Cortez | "What you describe sounds to me like a mailbag." | | 05:52 | Cortez | "Jimmy Butler's done far more for Pat Riley than Pat Riley's done for Jimmy Butler." | | 08:12 | Katie Nolan | "I was high as f*** when Damar Hamlin almost died and that f***ed me up really badly." | | 09:24 | Stugotz | "I usually take a gummy 90 minutes before the start of the game. And then...a bong hit." | | 12:00 | Pablo Torre | "Are you aware that the Internet thinks you look like Jay-Z?" | | 12:22 | Troy Aikman | "Yes, I am aware of that. A white Jay-Z. There's a meme..." | | 15:44 | Pablo Torre | "LeBron James has his own domain." | | 18:33 | Pablo Torre | "The centaur painting is actually real, yo." | | 21:08 | Cardale Jones | "Man, I wish everyone stopped saying I beat a kid in the hospital 91-35. It was 98-35..." | | 25:50 | Cardale Jones | "All I see is big smile...knowing I was a part of that big smile, I want to provide that." | | 29:51 | Rachel Howard | "There is no official mascot of Stanford, but they've got a foliage-garbed maniac..." | | 34:51 | Andrew Lopez | "I hated you because the first thing I saw was that you're hotter than me." | | 38:32 | Pablo Torre | "I've gone from hating you to being aroused by you...and therefore myself." |

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:00 — Miami Heat/Damian Lillard, cat bacteria theory (Mike Schur call)
• 08:12 — Staff sports/high stories (Katie Nolan, Stugotz)
• 11:08 — Troy Aikman as white Jay-Z (includes Aikman direct quote)
• 13:39 — The Banana Boat’s email providers (LeBron, Melo, CP3, Wade)
• 16:04 — Is the A-Rod centaur painting real?
• 20:03 — Cardale Jones and beating a sick kid at NCAA Football
• 27:11 — Why is Stanford’s mascot a tree? (Rachel Miller Howard explains)
• 31:09 — “You have a doppelganger!” (Andrew Lopez confrontation)
• 46:06 — Closing reflections, wildest callers, future questions

Tone and Language

• Rapid-fire, irreverent, and self-referential.
• Mixes serious research/reporting with affectionate, friendly ribbing and spontaneous comedic moments.
• Open about both their nerdy journalism and their bad habits (e.g., weed, unhealthy sports obsessions).
• Warm, inclusive, and occasionally raunchy.

For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is an excellent example of Pablo Torre's unique podcasting style: half sports, half delightful internet investigation, with an undercurrent of emotional vulnerability and community. The team transforms weird internet rumors, inside jokes, and fan voicemails into probing (and funny) pieces of sports and cultural journalism, all while letting listeners (both sports nerds and casual fans) feel like insiders.