Perhaps Our Last Hour on Earth, with Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kayne

Summary

Pablo Torre Finds Out
The Athletic | April 8, 2026
Episode: "Perhaps Our Last Hour on Earth," with Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kane

---

Episode Overview

In the episode "Perhaps Our Last Hour on Earth," Pablo Torre is joined by recurring friends of the show—Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kane—for an irreverent, wide-ranging conversation that oscillates between genuine anxiety about current world events and the comforting absurdities of pop culture, personal anecdotes, and light-hearted community interaction. The discussion opens against the backdrop of an alarming social media post from the President, hinting at a possible world-ending event that sets a tone of gallows humor and existential dread. Despite—or because of—this, the trio leans into chaos, cracking jokes, poking fun at each other, fielding community questions, and dialing up their podcast’s unique brand of “Fs Around” energy.

---

Major Themes and Key Discussion Points

1. Apocalypse Now? Present-Day Anxieties and Presidential Social Media Madness

Timestamps: 03:13–07:06

• The show kicks off reacting to a recent alarming post by the President on social media, which suggests imminent world-ending events and regime change.
• Katie Nolan shares her exhaustion and sense of helplessness:

  “I feel like crushed under the weight of, like, I... We... We got to do something, probably, but I don't know what it is.” (06:08, Nolan)

• Pablo observes the challenge of continuing to do normal things in abnormal times:

  "I don't want to spend the last hour on Earth talking about how we need to improve." (06:37, Torre)

2. Coping, Humor, and the End of the World

Timestamps: 03:14–04:47; 19:01–19:15

• Michael and Katie riff on the only people with “a good day” potentially being astronauts currently orbiting the moon (“at least you’re out there”), debating the practicalities of peeing in space and the invention of the Wizinator, leading to comedic tangents about personal experiences and product shade options.

3. Meta-Commentary: The Role of Audience & Live Interaction

Timestamps: 04:00–04:31; 13:38–14:05

• The hosts engage with the livestream chat, using in-show memes like “hamburgers in the chat” while poking fun at influencer engagement tactics.
• They repeatedly reference, and gently mock, their own performance and each other’s participation or lack thereof in each other’s projects and fan communities.

4. Comedy Specials, Crowd Work, and Backstage Stories

Timestamps: 12:06–15:26

• Pablo praises Michael’s recent standup special, and the trio jokes about Pablo being randomly picked for onstage crowd work.
• Katie roasts herself for appearing disengaged in the crowd (“Sorry, I checked my phone during your special.” 15:11, Nolan).

5. The Rabbit Hole: Epstein Files, NEOM, and the Sam Altman Saga

Timestamps: 16:12–38:30

• Community questions pivot the show to bizarre and dark corners of pop culture and tech:
  • Discussion of Dan Soder’s name in the Epstein files, which leads to a tangent about how being named doesn't necessarily mean wrongdoing.
  • Pablo finds his own Jeremy Lin article in Epstein’s email, underscoring the randomness of such connections.
  • Analysis of the massive New Yorker article on Sam Altman (OpenAI) and his involvement in the NEOM project:

    “I think there's a small but real chance he's eventually remembered as a Bernie Madoff or Sam Bankman-Fried level scammer.” (22:08, cited New Yorker article)

• Katie gives a quick rundown of NEOM, the proposed Saudi mega-city:

  “NEOM was like, supposed to be a high-tech city... The Line, this big long... not real, but it was like a sprawling ecosystem.” (31:51, Nolan)

• The hosts debate tech hype, AI’s real impact, and the collapse-from-within of ambitious projects.
• Michael and Pablo confess to having participated in a live “witch’s spell” on air to curse AI on Halloween (“So mote it be,” 23:38–24:30).

6. On AI and Apocalypse Fatigue

Timestamps: 26:01–38:30

• The group expresses deep skepticism about AI:

  “The best advertising is the apocalypse... What if, in fact, the reality is that—oh no, it’s just underwhelming.” (37:56, Torre)

• Michael’s personal theory:

  “Our house theory is that AI is, in fact, 60 Filipino guys.” (39:15, Torre)

7. PTFO Community Favorites: Jordan Hudson, Michael Lombardi, and the Running Joke File

Timestamps: 39:42–46:10

• They debate who would win a footrace—Pablo or cheerleader/rival Jordan Hudson—good-naturedly deconstructing the minor grudge and her social media persona.
• Michael Lombardi, allegedly Italian, churns a meme for repeatedly calling Goodfellas “Goodfellows” online; the podcast skewers this and traces the performative traditions in football culture.
• Fun fact: Origins of Joe Theisman’s name change for Heisman Trophy campaigning.

8. Cletus Calls In: The Slice-of-Life from Florida

Timestamps: 48:49–65:01

• Regular caller Cletus from Navarre, Florida, leaves voice mails and is live-patched in for real-time Q&A.
• Topics include:
  • Why do women shave their underarms? Katie: “It's societal. It was seen as a beauty standard thing. You can choose not to, but it always becomes a headline.” (51:47, Nolan)
  • Are women more constipated than men? The panel riffs on the surreal gendering of advertising, “pink tax”, and bodily realities.
• Cletus shares his home-cooking habits, reveals his wife is a director of nursing (“I try to do most of the cooking because although she's a great cook, I just try to make it easier on her.” 59:31, Cletus), and receives birthday wishes for grandson Eli.
• He ends with a poignant, anxious reflection on living in a “red” part of the country and laments the current state of politics.

  “We just went to Disney World... I didn't see one 'Make America Great Again' ad... Is it—they're embarrassed, they lose their hats on the panhandle?” (62:27, Cletus)

• Pablo and Michael joke about running for President or creating a “Secretary of Coolness” cabinet position for Katie.

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On the President's Unhinged Truth

  “A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again... maybe something revolutionarily wonderful can happen.” (05:08, reading social post)

• On feeling overwhelmed

  “I feel like crushed under the weight of... I think we gotta do something… but I don’t know what it is.” (06:08, Nolan)

• On NEOM and vaporware megaprojects

  “At this point, I think it might just be a data center.” (34:12, Nolan)

• On world-ending versus world-underwhelming

  “Everything now is either the biggest deal on earth or a bunch of nothing. Everything is a question mark.” (26:01, Nolan)

• On “AI reality”

  “I just don’t believe that it’s going to work. I don’t believe in AI... I think it’s souped-up Google and that’s really kind of it." (37:33, Cruz Kane)

• On being called “Goodfellows”

  "His Italianness has been officially called into question because this is how he tweets about Goodfellas… Goodfellows!” (42:32, Torre)

• On the community/parasocial relationship

  "I do love a walk.” (42:11, Torre)

• Cletus’s accidental feminist musings

  “Why do women shave their underarms?... I just wouldn't want her feeling like she has to for me...” (49:32, Cletus)

• Closing on hope and resilience

  “I just... you should just love your fellow human being. I just don't know what's happened to these people... I just have a feeling he's gonna taco out tonight.” (62:27, Cletus) “Pablo, I swear, you'd be such a good President of the United States.” (64:05, Cletus)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:13 – Show opens, existential humor about the end times
• 05:08 – Read-aloud of President’s apocalyptic "truth"
• 08:41 – “Wizzinator” sidetrack: fake penises for drug tests
• 12:18 – Discussion of Michael’s standup, crowd work, Katie’s disengagement
• 16:18 – Dan Soder, Epstein files, and dominos of guilt by association
• 21:28 – Katie and Pablo discuss NEOM and “the line”
• 26:01 – Modern uncertainty: “Everything now is either the biggest deal or nothing”
• 36:08 – The saga of Sam Altman, OpenAI, and boardroom drama
• 39:51 – Jordan Hudson, National Cheerleading Championship
• 42:25 – Michael Lombardi’s “Goodfellows” tweets, Italian heritage jokes
• 48:49 – Voicemails and live Q&A with Cletus on gender, advertising, nursing
• 59:31 – Cletus on home cooking and partner responsibilities
• 62:27 – Cletus reflects on the political moment in red America, hope for “taco out”
• 64:05 – Cletus for Pablo as President, closing warmth

---

Recurring Tone and Language

• Wry, self-aware, hyper-casual: The hosts joke through their anxieties rather than downplaying them, often with rapid-fire asides and interruptions.
• Generous with listener time and attention: Repeatedly include, address, and riff off chat messages and call-ins.
• Absurdist yet vulnerable: Treat real calamity with humor but don’t shy from expressing personal fears and social frustration.
• Pop culture literacy: Use references (Goodfellas, Wizinator, NEOM, cheerleading, AI) for both deep-dive analysis and as punchlines.

---

For Listeners Who Missed This Episode

This episode is a quintessential example of PTFO’s “talkumentary” style: simultaneously addressing the very real feeling of global chaos and existential worry—whether from the news or tech world—while also poking meta-fun at themselves, their community, and culture at large. If you want to hear gallows humor about the apocalypse, debates about whether AI is a scam or a revolution, reminiscence about prosthetic penises, a live voicemail-driven Q&A about women’s shaving and digestive health, and the warm glow of internet friendship in “our last hour on earth,” this is a can’t-miss episode.

---

“Perhaps Our Last Hour on Earth” is less a breakdown than a breakdown—by design, and joyfully so.

Transcript

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Insurance isn't one size fits all. That's why drivers have enjoyed Progressive's Name your Price tool for years now. With the name your price tool, you tell them what you want to pay and they'll show you options that fit your budget. So whether you're picking out your first policy or just looking for something that works better for you and your family, they make it easy to see your options. Visit progressive.com find a rate that works for you with the name your price tool Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates Price and Coverage match limited by state

[Pablo Torre]

law Ever walked past a place for rent and wish you could just take a peek inside? Maybe even explore the layout? Envision the natural light streaming through the windows or plan where your vinyl record collection would go. At apartments.com you can. With tools like their 3D virtual tours, you can see the exact unit you could be living in. Really envision yourself in your new home with Apartments.com, the place to find a place. I just heard something that completely shocked me, which is that 45% of girls and 32% of boys feel overwhelming stress from just being on social media. And together 25% of both feel worse about their own lives. Researchers found teens who spend more than five hours a day on their phones are at double the risk for suicidal thoughts. Bottom line, teens and phones don't mix with a daughter. Myself, I am constantly worried about when she reaches an age where we'll have to have the phone talk. But here's the good news. There is a solution. A company called Gab, which has solved the problem by doing something that no one else is doing. Their approach is tech in Steps. Tech in Steps works by providing safer phones and watches for kids with no social media. Tailored to every age, offering the right device at the right time. From GPS tracking enabled watches for younger kids to phones with parent enabled apps for tweens and teens, each device allows kids to more safely grow their independence. You don't have to give your kid advice that was made for an adult. Get them Gab, which keeps them socially connected without social media. And right now you can use our code to get 60% off a kid's phone. That will make parenting easier and give you more peace of mind. That's why I am recommending Gab. Visit gab.comptfo and use code PTFO for an exclusive offer. That's Gab GA BB. Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out I am Pablo Torre and today we're going to find out what this sound is. So that was. That was hilarious. I Think justified.

[Katie Nolan]

Hilarious.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

One of my favorite bits of humor is the end of the world. You know what I mean?

[Katie Nolan]

That was a big open you were talking about.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's nice to see you all. Good to see you in this time and place. I want. Can I. Can I acknowledge that we were told not to talk right before this? So I had kind of the giddy vibe of a surprise party.

[Katie Nolan]

Right. And then it was that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

So I was, like, getting ready to giggle. And then it was that surprise.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Big bomb sounds.

[Pablo Torre]

So I think this might. This might be the last thing we do together.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

On the. On this plane.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But I'll see you another. In another life, brother.

[Katie Nolan]

I'll find you guys in every life.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'll find you in every life.

[Katie Nolan]

I will.

[Pablo Torre]

Should we just acknowledge the. By the way, Michael Cruz K and Katie Nolan, thank you for being here.

[Katie Nolan]

Are we live?

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, we are. I think we are live. Cortez is monitoring the chat. Parakeet Cortez.

[Katie Nolan]

What's up?

[Pablo Torre]

Chat update us. Hamburgers in the chat. We can play directly to goose the engagement to get this thing boosted in the algorithm.

[Katie Nolan]

Boost.

[Pablo Torre]

Boost Hamburgers in the chat.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm not going to participate in it. Any of that part of it.

[Cletus]

I'm only.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm that part only. I'm only responding to chat.

[Katie Nolan]

No, I. I like responding to chat. Oh, telling them to put hamburgers in the chat.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, I'm.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't know what that is.

[Pablo Torre]

I was convinced to not do the thing I wanted to do with you guys, which is a big investigative scheme of sorts. We're gonna. We're gonna table that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

For the time being.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

Because we've been told over and over again on this show that we want to activate the F yefs around option. Pablo Torre. Fs around.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

And it happens to be that we chose that option on the day when the President did truth this. So I just want to acknowledge that in some ways, this is the worst timing for your friendly neighborhood podcast host. Who wants to read this? Just to bring the audio audience in when this makes it to the Apple podcast app. If, again, we don't do the thing that the first part of the sentence

[Michael Cruz Kane]

says, a whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again. I don't want that to happen, but it probably will. However, now that we have complete and total regime change where different, smarter and less radicalized minds prevail, maybe something revolutionarily wonderful can happen.

[Katie Nolan]

Who knows?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We will find out tonight. One of the most important moments in the long and Complex history of the world. 47 years of extortion, corruption, and death will finally end. God bless the great people of Iran. That's my dog, dude.

[Pablo Torre]

I love that guy.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

He rules just.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't know. I feel like we've done a good job of going about our days, through a lot of stuff recently.

[Pablo Torre]

We had a pretty good run despite everything and.

[Katie Nolan]

But today, I do think I reached my breaking point today. I think when I woke up and I got that push notification of our president logged on to a social media network that only he uses, I think, and said and started a truth with a sentence of a civilization will end tonight. Made me, like. I'm like, sick this. What is going on? And is. Is somebody going to stop it? Like, what are we. What are. I feel like crushed under the weight of, like, I. We. We got to do something, probably, but I don't know what it is. I don't understand how this. How we're here.

[Pablo Torre]

So we're not going to spend all of our time talking because I don't want to spend the last hour on Earth talking about how we need to improve.

[Katie Nolan]

Thanks for bringing it up.

[Pablo Torre]

I will say, I do think we should probably.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The only thing I want to say

[Pablo Torre]

about, again, the part of that tweet

[Michael Cruz Kane]

or whatever you call it that I really am fixated on is all caps. Who knows, who knows, who knows?

[Katie Nolan]

And I don't want that. Yeah, I don't want that. But it. It could happen. It's like, this is insane.

[Pablo Torre]

It is.

[Katie Nolan]

It is.

[Pablo Torre]

It's a thing of, like, I wanted to zag. And then it was like, I just want the documentary that someone is making about this to not have any ability to avoid the fact that we did acknowledge that we should probably get rid of this guy.

[Katie Nolan]

Is he talking about someone's making a documentary about this podcast?

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, yeah. There's a documentarian over there about this.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What's happening right now.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa. It is also titled the Last Dance. Oh, there are four astronauts, by the way, on this. On this moon mission.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

It's cool that they're going to be the only people left.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

They could come back like Planet of the Apes style. Like, come back to this planet and it's.

[Katie Nolan]

They better be ready to repo.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's all whatever. And they're like, when we get back to our home planet, then they realize, oh, this is your home planet.

[Katie Nolan]

Just like in Twilight Zone.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, if you say so.

[Katie Nolan]

Wasn't that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But I would. I would love to be. Now would be the time of any time to be an astronaut, now would be the time. Because at least you're out there.

[Cletus]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And, yes, you are. You know, your toilet don't work.

[Katie Nolan]

They fixed it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

They fixed it.

[Katie Nolan]

They fixed it. It was just for the first few hours, which you would hope they went before they left. You would hope they were like, hey, before we hop in, for sure thing. To go around the moon, everybody pee. You know, and so hopefully they didn't. It wasn't an emergency. They were instructed to pee in bags, which does seem easier for one of the types of astronauts and less easy for the other.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But maybe they have. They must have by this point. They must have an. A bag that's a unisex bag. Or maybe not. Maybe two different bags that work equally well for each, don't they?

[Katie Nolan]

There's a mechanism you can purchase as a woman to pee outside.

[Pablo Torre]

Like a little water slide.

[Katie Nolan]

It's almost like a. It's like a cup, but with a.

[Pablo Torre]

It's like a Wizinator, but for girls.

[Katie Nolan]

What the hell's that?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What's a Wizzinator?

[Pablo Torre]

You guys know what the Wizinator is?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Sound off in the chat if you know what a Wizzinator.

[Katie Nolan]

What's a Wizinator?

[Pablo Torre]

The Wizinator is a device that you can purchase.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

That was used, I believe. And I. Because we're live, I gotta Google the athlete's name. Who I believe used it? It is, in fact, yes, former Minnesota Vikings running back Ontario Smith, who was caught in 2005 at the Minneapolis St. Paul International Airport with the original Wizinator. It's a prosthetic device designed to bypass drug tests.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. That's the part I was missing. I was like. Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I thought it was, like. I thought it was a little PP lose.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a fake penis, a bladder, and some attic urine.

[Katie Nolan]

No, that's not what I was talking about, but I would like to use that.

[Pablo Torre]

It's actually. It's. I mean, I'll show it to you. We can't.

[Katie Nolan]

No, thanks.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's fine. You don't have to.

[Katie Nolan]

So let's get.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

If you wanted to.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, look, hold on. The Wiznator 5000 comes in natural, lifelike skin tones. Black brown, Latino, tan, and white.

[Katie Nolan]

Yo, they named them that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That doesn't sound right.

[Katie Nolan]

They didn't just come up with, like, a. That doesn't sound a better shade range than most makeup that comes out now.

[Pablo Torre]

So that's Michelangelo, at least. Donatello. Raphael. So that is. Is. Is not what they used. I'm Being told in my ear, the chat is saying that Jordan Hudson ever get around to suing any of the people in that studio?

[Katie Nolan]

She doesn't, she hasn't even addressed me. I don't think she's ever talked to you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

All her animosity, I believe, is pointed

[Katie Nolan]

toward our friend Pablo, which I do appreciate. Thank you, Queen.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, she's correct about that.

[Katie Nolan]

Right? We didn't do nothing. We're just here to.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm a, I'm a bit. I'm just here to go. Oh my God.

[Katie Nolan]

Is that right?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Are you kidding? That's what I do.

[Pablo Torre]

That's what people say on the street. Are you the guy who said, oh my God.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Did you ever get sued by Jordan Hudson?

[Pablo Torre]

Not yet. Although again, time. If she's watching Time is money. Yes.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I maintain that she would be an excellent guest on this show and would be treated with the utmost respect if she were ever to participate in it.

[Pablo Torre]

I agree. I sincerely agree. And I'd like to look into the camera to. Can we, can we pull me. Yep, there it is. Geez.

[Katie Nolan]

Calling for his own camera.

[Pablo Torre]

Jordan Hudson, you're officially invited back onto the show.

[Katie Nolan]

She knows that. Oh, I think she knows that. I think she's like, I don't think he'd have me.

[Pablo Torre]

Did you know that in the 160 years after the Civil War, US presidents fired 11 four and five star military officers? And in this first 14 months of Donald Trump, the White House has fired nine of them?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So the 11 includes the nine or it's 11 and then nine more.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The second one.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, this is a good, this is a good fact checking question.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We'll find out. Someone will know someone in the room in the chat.

[Pablo Torre]

Can the chat fact check whether Donald Trump fired nine of the 11 four and five star military officers in the 160 years after the Civil War? Or if that number of 11 is non inclusive.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Right.

[Pablo Torre]

Of his personal.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Because it's either like 45% of people or it's like 90% of people, which either way it's still a lot of the people. But I think the. I was talking about this today with someone. That guy lives in such like a bespoke reality where like we, you know, the siloing of everybody, all of our social media, etc. Like he's getting reports that are only the things that people think he wants to hear as opposed to every prior president who was getting what someone thought was the news. The important thing he's getting like whatever. So he's doing, he's doing the right thing as far as he knows.

[Pablo Torre]

This reminds me of yet another viewer question that we got recently. Okay, we throw that on the screen. How would you rate the crowd work on at Cruz Kane's new standup special, scale of 1 to 10?

[Katie Nolan]

This reminded me. I was thinking about this same question. Now, you did a little crowd work

[Michael Cruz Kane]

a tiny bit, but it wasn't a lot. No, I think. I think. Well, I think what this person is referring to is a bit very early on in the show where I say I'm going, where I ask someone in the audience.

[Pablo Torre]

I think this was a very significant piece of the show.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I asked someone in the audience what their name is, and at this point,

[Pablo Torre]

well, do we have the clip?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, that's a little heavy. Let me lighten it up with some classic comedy stuff. Like you, sir, what's your name?

[Cletus]

Pablo.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Pablo. Very good. That is my crowd work. So that part is kind of closed.

[Katie Nolan]

I forgot about that. You didn't. You just played the clip where he says your name. It's absurd the way you feed into what everybody thinks you are.

[Pablo Torre]

I think I nailed it.

[Katie Nolan]

It's.

[Pablo Torre]

I think I nailed that. The setup as well as the dismount.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I will also say that I did not. I swear to God, I did not mean to call on you. What happened there is.

[Pablo Torre]

See, I don't.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I looked in the first row and the first person I saw was my neighbor.

[Katie Nolan]

Way too close. Way too close to you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And then so I just went to the next row and I was like, well, I don't. I can't be searching for who to do this with. So then I just went to you and boom, there you were.

[Pablo Torre]

Katie and I were sitting next to each other.

[Katie Nolan]

Now there's evidence of that.

[Pablo Torre]

And I. People in the chat are also saying

[Katie Nolan]

that you have access to the chat.

[Pablo Torre]

Well, Cortez is sending me what people are saying. I like Donald Trump. I'm getting a selected version.

[Katie Nolan]

Send me the chat, Cortez, of the

[Pablo Torre]

reality that we inhabit.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Write the chat on giant cue cards and press them up against the glass over there.

[Pablo Torre]

People are saying that Katie's eye contact was not exactly that of someone who was engaged.

[Katie Nolan]

If you listened to the episode that we did without you on my podcast, which I've since found out you didn't even care to listen.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Didn't even know she had about it.

[Pablo Torre]

That's non canonical.

[Katie Nolan]

Even though he commented, like, probably hard hands or something on the Instagram.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think he did, actually.

[Katie Nolan]

I didn't even click play. I'm over here doing my makeup and streaming your show. That was my intro, so I can stay. And you're just like, good job, everybody. But anyway, I was looking at one of the promo clips that you posted on Instagram, and in the promo clip, it cuts to an audience reaction shot, and Pablo's, like, looking up and smiling, and I'm, like, looking into middle distance, and my first reaction was, am I on my phone? And then my immediate second reaction was, we were so close to you, and you had called on him early and that there's no chance I would have pulled my phone out, not because I'm a good person, but because I would have gotten caught and made fun of for it endlessly. So then I was like, why would I have been looking? And my best explanation was that now that I go with Dan to his shows a lot and I'm in the back listening to the comedy, sometimes I just, like, zone out. Not, like, looking up at you. You know, you weren't doing a lot of physical.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Not a lot of gymnastics in a set. Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

And so I think I was probably just, like, staring into space and listening, which I. I'm sorry, I checked my phone during your special.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Apologize to me. I. There's nothing to me more plausible than. I was so locked in that I was looking down the floor and Pablo

[Katie Nolan]

was locked in to the camera.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I was, like, so into what you were saying that I looked directly away from.

[Katie Nolan]

It was just.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nothing could be more plausible to me.

[Katie Nolan]

How was the reaction to the special? Did you get all the. All the flowers and praise?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Tons of flowers. Honestly, the community of people that surround Dropout, which is the company that produced this, is so, like, unbelievably supportive and positive.

[Katie Nolan]

They seem that way. So it's.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The only negativity in there at all

[Pablo Torre]

is from Katie's eye contact?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, none. Is that in. In the thread of one of the clips that Dropout posted, people are having a robust argument about veganism, and they're really kind of going at each other

[Katie Nolan]

when something just kind of takes over. A clip of yours. But the notifications stay the same. So you just watch people having an intense debate that has genuinely nothing to do with.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Every two minutes, I get an update about factory farming in a thing that has. That is not really about that at all.

[Katie Nolan]

At all.

[Pablo Torre]

By contrast, what the PTFO community has asked us to look into. We have that next one here.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, no. What? You could break it to Katie that Dan is parentheses technically in the Epstein files. And I assume we're talking about Lebitard

[Pablo Torre]

we are not.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. What's up? What's going on? What is. What's happening?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What is this?

[Katie Nolan]

Somebody was. Wasn't there a thing where they were looking at shows? Comedy shows.

[Pablo Torre]

Let's let the evidence decide.

[Katie Nolan]

It's not. This is bullshit, what you're doing.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. So it's Jeffrey Epstein to. From. We don't know, but it's to Jeffrey Epstein. It says this forward comedy seller David Tell. Comedy Underground Life. Shout out. David Tell. This place is great. You'd love it with a smiley face. And it's the comedy seller lineup, I assume for that night. And I bet in there somewhere is Dan's name.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We're going to scroll down and see Dan's name.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't think.

[Pablo Torre]

I think they're going to attempt to scroll. Oh, there.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, here we go. Damn.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

There he is.

[Pablo Torre]

Damn. What does it feel like to be engaged to someone who may have made Jeffrey Epstein laugh uproariously?

[Katie Nolan]

It's tough.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's a tough, confusing feeling.

[Katie Nolan]

It's a tough thought, you know? But I do think Dan really likes to make anybody laugh.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And unfortunately, speaking on behalf of Dan.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. If I may. Dan said that he values all of his fans, especially Jeffrey.

[Pablo Torre]

Fans matter.

[Katie Nolan]

That's right. That's exactly what he said. Quote him on that. Dan Soder. All fans matter, especially Jeffrey Epstein.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Did you guys see in the Epstein files where they talk about the Black Eyed Peas?

[Katie Nolan]

I didn't look at these things at all. I know. What's in them? I don't know. I don't need to see it. I don't.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Are we all digging through them? But I had a friend who. I have a friend who is. Who?

[Pablo Torre]

Like one of the Black Eyed Peas.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I wish. Oh, my God.

[Katie Nolan]

Nobody knows him. That's my fault.

[Pablo Torre]

He's the Filipino.

[Katie Nolan]

Of course.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

He's the most known one. Who are the other ones?

[Katie Nolan]

How do even say Apple to app?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes, Apple. I believe it's Apple D App pronounced. It's almost as if there's no okay.

[Katie Nolan]

And then Will I am. And then Fergie. Who's the. Who are we missing?

[Pablo Torre]

Matrix guy.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, might be Matrix Guy.

[Katie Nolan]

It's.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think it's his name.

[Katie Nolan]

It's like that's the way. That's the syllables of it.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Short syllable, letter taboo.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Taboo Couldn't have been more wrong.

[Pablo Torre]

Matrix Guy.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But they talk about the Black Eyed Peas. Okay, what I was going to say is that I have a friend who is reading the files just like leisurely, like. Just like I Have nothing to do for the next few hours. I'm gonna just dive in and read the files. So if I see her, I'll be like, what'd you do today? And she'll be like, I went for a walk the files for a couple hours, went to the gym, that kind of thing. And she drew my attention to the fact that the Black Eyed Peas. Someone is really trying to get Ghislaine Maxwell to listen to the Black Eyed Peas. And that's just kind of a fun thing that happens.

[Katie Nolan]

It's a fun wrinkle.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Some things in the Epstein files are like, kind of.

[Katie Nolan]

Sure. And I. And I would be more inclined to be interested in them if the rest of it didn't make me wanna.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And absolutely fair. I think that is totally fair.

[Katie Nolan]

You know, so I'm doing my best to avoid all stuff that makes me wanna. Because it's a lot. I have. It's a tough time to be depressed, you guys. Is it just not like, it's not chill right now. It's. I'm not looking out at the world and going, like, gonna be okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I feel. I guess it's probably worse.

[Katie Nolan]

Everything feels really heavy.

[Pablo Torre]

And so I think it's fair to say also that, like, as the Epstein files are concerned, just being in them is not proof of anything. Sometimes people are just in it because they got recommended because Jeffrey Epstein has friends that are saying, like, oh, you should look at this cool thing.

[Katie Nolan]

And they have like, why are you in there too? Yeah, of course.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

There he is.

[Katie Nolan]

Isolation play. It isn't Kobe's taunts or humiliating viral videos that have made this the toughest year of Jeremy Lynn's life. Do you remember writing that?

[Pablo Torre]

So this. This is allegedly. This is like a roundup of. This is a flipboard email that Jeffrey Epstein.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Remember that? Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

I wrote an article about. About Jeremy Lynn, my man. You're saying about Jeffrey Epstein about Jeremy Lynn. And what seems to be completely innocent, like just email is admittedly undercut by the fact that it's above eight perfect getaways with outdoor showers.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So wait, what. What am I looking how this is in the files? Someone.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

In Jeffrey Epstein's circle.

[Pablo Torre]

I think his email got me my writing in there. So fun.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Did it get the fact that I on Facebook have DMed Jeremy Lin probably 400 times? I haven't in the last few years, but he used to post Facebook stories. He doesn't anymore, but when he posted Facebook stories, I would respond to the stories being like, go get a man. You know what I Mean just stuff

[Katie Nolan]

like that on purpose.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You're doing, you're doing it. Oh no, just little positive affirmations for

[Pablo Torre]

my boy Jeremy with the hard hands.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, he never hit me with anything. Yeah, he. No, no response ever. And you know, more prior to him. I wouldn't, I wouldn't have either if I were him. But I was just trying, you know.

[Katie Nolan]

That's really cute.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You're out there in China, you're doing it.

[Katie Nolan]

There's been on the receiving end of those. When you post a story, one person responds all the time with little messages. Yeah, that's like such a nicer version of it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, thank you.

[Katie Nolan]

Scary. It happens to other people too.

[Pablo Torre]

But just to confirm, you are reading all of the things.

[Katie Nolan]

No, not anymore.

[Pablo Torre]

Anymore. No, I don't.

[Katie Nolan]

Not anymore. I'm not allowed to. I gotta read books instead. I gotta. The only thing trying to stay off

[Michael Cruz Kane]

this thing, it's in her lap.

[Pablo Torre]

The phone that has the article about Sam Altman on it.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. And I thought I got really deep into that article. We have another question high up.

[Pablo Torre]

We have another question.

[NerdWallet Announcer]

Okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, oh, here we go.

[Pablo Torre]

Thoughts on Sam Altman, More to possibly find out. Question mark. I do think that if you haven't read the giant New Yorker article that is co written by Ronan farrow, I've

[Michael Cruz Kane]

read 40, 000 words of it, which

[Katie Nolan]

is 4% more than enough. And then I found out it's there's a lot more.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, we've talked about this, I think on this podcast before. But when you're scrolling in the little cursor you like, you go like this. Yeah, the little cursor goes. You're like, I'm not going to get to the end of this. I don't think I'm going to try.

[Katie Nolan]

So much has happened in the little words I've read. It's like, well, I must be towards the end of this article. And it's like you're you girl. You haven't even started scratching the surface.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

The quote that I think we can just like pull out for everybody to just like not read it but get the sense of is quote. I think there's a small but real chance he's eventually remembered as a Bernie Madoff or Sam Bankman fried level scammer. End quote.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I was focused in on that. The quote about him being a sociopath.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I mean I think if it's Bernie Madoff, it's going to be like Bernie Manna for the whole economy.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Because he really like.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. Well, it's bigger than.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Bigger than Madoff.

[Pablo Torre]

Which. Which brings up, I think our. This is a thing that I think we have some culpability for me. Yes. Oh, well, me and you and not Katie. Oh, hell yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

What the. Love the way this sounds. More of this.

[Pablo Torre]

So on Halloween, people who. Who are in the chat may remember this.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I see where we're going.

[Pablo Torre]

Throw burgers in the chat because Michael Cruz Kane was dressed as a burger. We invited a literal witch to the studio and I was dressed as a tree. I think remember which his name. The award winning witch.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh man, I wish that I did, but I don't.

[Pablo Torre]

Lexa. Rosie Ann.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, of course.

[Pablo Torre]

Village Voice. Village Voice.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I liked her very much.

[Pablo Torre]

I'll tell you, winning, which Michael had a suggestion and we decided not to curse a specific person, but rather an entire. So with this dramatic music playing underneath us in our post production edit, it will be there. What do we need to do?

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, Goddess Fortuna, we ask you to protect the fate of mankind and to turn the fortune of AI Cause it to slip up and fail so that it cannot harm humanity. So mote it be. So mota be. So mote it be. Do you guys want to add any words to that?

[Pablo Torre]

May humans masturbate the old fashioned way.

[Katie Nolan]

Amen. So mote it.

[Pablo Torre]

Beautiful.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And that's beautiful.

[Katie Nolan]

That is beautiful.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So mote it be. And you know, may humans reign over technology and not the reverse.

[Pablo Torre]

So mode it be.

[Katie Nolan]

Be. And what are we saying there? So mode.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I believe it's moat and I have no answers for you on that.

[Katie Nolan]

Mode it be.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm just saying whatever. Whatever that gal said, I'm going. That must be right.

[Katie Nolan]

So mode it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Can I also tell something else about that episode that I may have never talked to you about at the end of that episode? That witch. Yeah, not derogatory, not actually complimentary. Lexa Rosienne told us a very specific way to dispose of this that she gave us.

[Pablo Torre]

So we had. So she was. We. We had created a. A due to a list of ingredients. A. A witch's brew of sorts.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh yeah. And she said this has to be disposed of, I think like at the base of a tree. And I'm leaving the studio and these guys are like, let's just pour it in the. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. So I, I ultimately did not see what happened to that stuff. But if anything goes bad with this AI, I think it's totally possible that one of these dudes just threw it on a toilet or something, you know, What?

[Pablo Torre]

I mean, like Ryan Cortez.

[Katie Nolan]

Why didn't you take it down to a tree yourself? Then you were leaving the building.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't, I don't want to be. I don't, I didn't want.

[Katie Nolan]

It's already too late for that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm not the one.

[Katie Nolan]

So it be.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So mode it be.

[Katie Nolan]

You got to take the stuff outside.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, maybe I should have.

[Pablo Torre]

It had been. The mode had been already.

[Katie Nolan]

You guys are reckless.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm just saying that we're gonna remember we're doing invest. Pablo will find out about that.

[Pablo Torre]

I, I, I, I think, I think it's working.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Could be.

[Pablo Torre]

Or the opposite. It is hard to tell whether AI is being undermined by our spell or is taking over everything. And in fact, what sucks about all

[Katie Nolan]

of this all the time now is that it's either the biggest deal on earth or a bunch of nothing. Everything now is either like, wow, the President either just said he's gonna basically nuke a country, or he's just talking and nothing's gonna happen and it's just to manipulate the markets. Or it's like the entire economy is wrapped up. AI is coming. It's going to take all your jobs. Or we don't actually have the tech and they're scrambling to keep. Everything is like, I just feel like so quickly we knew what stuff was and we knew like, that is that and that's a. This is a table and it will always be a table. And I just feel like now everything is a question mark, which makes it harder to have any linear thoughts because you're like, they can't. You can't build anything on. You're both looking at me like I'm.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, no, I'm with that totally. The way that I feel the way.

[Katie Nolan]

No, I'm with, okay, I'm just, I'm

[Michael Cruz Kane]

so mot so mode it be. The way I feel in that is. I have. I was reading an article about a woman in Tehran who's talking about, like, you know how scared she is. And she's like, I think Donald Trump has lost his mind. And they're basically asking her, what are you going to do? Like, you're going to move out of Toronto? Where, like, where will you go? And she's like, I mean, what am I going to do? I'm just kind of here. Here's where I live. There's not really a place to go that feels safer than this. So this is where I'm going to be at. And that's kind of my mind. Perhaps non productively is like, well, this is. I. This, this is the world that I got.

[Katie Nolan]

No, I mean I've. I have been trying to make my world small, but that. It just feels very selfish. And it's also not good podcast discussion. But it's been like if this is, if this is how it's gonna be here outside, then like when I'm inside with my dog and Dan, we just like do a lot of like, I don't know, telling each other that we love each other and like hanging out with our dog and like smiling and making each other laugh.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Doing puzzles.

[Katie Nolan]

Doing puzzles. I gave you a puzzle.

[Pablo Torre]

Hey, Pablo Torre here. And this episode of Pablo Torre Finds out is sponsored by NerdWallet's new podcast, Smart Travel. You may be familiar with that one friend who always finds the best travel deals, picks the right cards, somehow ends up in first class for the price of coach. Well, Smart Travel is like that friend, but in podcast form. They cover things like the quick math for knowing when to pay with points or with your card, and how to book busy season trips without the busy season sticker shock. And they don't just what to do, they explain the why behind it so you can make smarter calls the next time you're booking a flight or planning a trip. It's the kind of advice that sticks with you, not just for one trip, but for all your future ones. So whether you're planning a big vacation or just trying to stretch your travel budget a little further, Smart Travel helps you get more out of every mile, travel smarter and spend less with help from Nerd Wallet, follow Smart Travel wherever you get your podcasts and upgrade your getaways.

[Grow Therapy Announcer]

Fresh air, longer days, a chance to reset this season, let therapy be part of your spring cleaning, clearing mental clutter, shaking off stuckness, and building something better. Grow Therapy helps you get there, whether it's your first time in therapy or your 50th. Grow makes it easier to find a therapist who fits you, not the other way around. You can search by what matters like insurance, specialty, identity, or availability. Get started in as little as two days, and if something comes up, you can Cancel up to 24 hours in advance at no cost. Grow helps you find therapy on your time, whatever challenges you're facing. Grow Therapy is here to help. Grow accepts over 100 insurance plans. Sessions average about $21 with insurance, and some pay as little as $0, depending on their plan. Visit growththerapy.comstartnow today to get started. That's growtherapy.comstartherapy. start now. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan.

[Katie Nolan]

Boost Mobile is now sending experts nationwide

[Pablo Torre]

to deliver and set up customers new phones. Wait, we're going on tour? We're delivering and setting up customers phones. It's not a tour. Not with that attitude. Introducing store to door. Switch and get a new device with expert setup and delivery. Delivery available for select devices [e-mail]

[Katie Nolan]

can

[Pablo Torre]

I read you guys another quote from the Sam Altman story?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Please do.

[Pablo Torre]

Because I think the whole thing of it's either the biggest thing or it's also nothing.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

It brings us to a part of that piece which is specifically resonant to viewers of this program, perhaps people who've been watching and listening Since November of 2023 when we brought up something that I will, I will quote this article in discussing, quote it was announced that Altman had joined the advisory board for neo.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh boy.

[Pablo Torre]

A city of the future that Mohammed bin Salman hoped to build in the desert. Sam, you cannot be on this board. The policy director who now works at Anthropic recalled telling Altman and goes on to say that basically he was unconcerned with the moral consequences, mostly about whether he could get away with this stuff. Allegedly. Neom, a city of the future. Katie, do you have any brief way of explaining what NEOM was supposed to be? Supposed to be?

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, so when I brought it to you, it's because I had seen a commercial for it or something. Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

And there were commercials all the time.

[Katie Nolan]

It was promised as this city in the desert in Saudi Arabia, I believe.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Were you over there when you saw the commercials or where were you?

[Katie Nolan]

Why would I have been over there?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't know. Maybe.

[Katie Nolan]

No, no, no. The, it was here. It was during a sporting event, which is why I brought it to Pablo, because I was like, they advertise during sports. I do this to him a lot. I keep sending him, he gets us. I'm like, figure out who runs this, what this is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I want to know.

[Katie Nolan]

But the, the, this, the Neom was like, it's supposed to be like a high tech city. One of the aspects of it was something called the line, which was going to be this big, long, I don't remember how many miles a city that had like, you know, again, the outside visual of it. It just looked like a wall, but inside it was this. Obviously not real, but it was like a sprawling ecosystem with greens and a high speed train that would run from one end to another. You would live there and go down to the train and then you'd go to your job. It was a self sustaining city in the middle of a desert.

[Pablo Torre]

In fact. I just need to clarify, Katie, in no way Michael is exaggerating because it was advertised as this.

[NerdWallet Announcer]

What is Neom? This is Neom, or here to be more precise, in the northwest of Saudi Arabia. But Neom is more than a place. It's a home for people who dream big. Bigger than that. That's more like it. It'll be a hub for innovation, an entirely new model for sustainable living. The vision for a new future. In fact, that's how it got its name. But what will be there? There's Oxagon, a thriving city at the crossroads of the world where advanced manufacturing will enable industries of the future. Trojena, a year round mountain destination. Just remember to pack your skis when you visit. Or, or if skiing's not your thing, there's always Sindalah, one of Neom's many beautiful islands, perfect for some R and R. And a line. A 500 meter high, 200 meter wide, 170 kilometer long city in the shape of, well, a line. No roads, cars or emissions. And everything its 9 million residents could ever need within a five minute walk.

[Katie Nolan]

You know, regular stuff.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I mean that's like post apocalyptic is what it feels like. It feels like this is what this.

[Katie Nolan]

It was sold as an investment in a different type of energy. I think it was something like they had noticed that obviously most of their wealth came from an unsustainable type of energy. And so in the. At some point they're going to have to take a step towards the future to coming up with other sorts of renewable energy sources. That's how it was sold at this point.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes. At this point they've abandoned.

[Katie Nolan]

They actually remember they said there was going to be a bunch of like world sporting events, not big ones like the Olympics or anything, but like maybe like a beach soccer tournament or something. They had given it to that fake city that wasn't even built yet. They were like, yeah, they're going to have the 2032 or something crazy. At this point I think it might just be a data center.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah. So according to the Financial Times, this very ambitious project, this was one of the crown jewels of the Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. It. Yeah. Has been significantly downscaled and it is likely to be converted into a hub for data centers.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Hell yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Due to tightening liquidity after a decade of massive spending and subdued oil prices, which are definitely going to get better on account of us. Again, just to quote the earlier president. Yeah. The whole civilization dying tonight, never to be brought back again. Possibly.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So it was, it was. It understood that the money from OpenAI would help to fund this, or there was just kind of like go over

[Katie Nolan]

that relationship for us again.

[Pablo Torre]

It was that he would be on the advisory board.

[Katie Nolan]

And what is that? What is that ever.

[Pablo Torre]

You are asking questions that I don't think Sam Altman himself necessarily as rigorously.

[Katie Nolan]

The blip over there at OpenAI is what they call it, right. When Sam Altman was removed because the board members decided that originally they had said that somebody of like, high moral standing would have to be in charge of what they're building. Because, listen, if you're going to build something ambitious like AI is supposed to be, it's intelligence that will exceed human capabilities. You've. It should. It has to be in the hands of somebody who can be trusted with that sort of tech. And so I think what I remember hearing is that the board agreed that he was not that guy, that he started to show signs of being concerning. He would lie a lot. He was.

[Pablo Torre]

He was characterized as both this very special combination of people pleaser, but guy who was lying all the time.

[Katie Nolan]

Right. And so it was a. Which, you know, they're not always mutually exclusive. And so it was like a. So they removed him and then through some miraculous power play, he makes his way back in. Not only that, removes the people from the board who had been initially started the moving of him. And so then he's just, you know, back.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Because it seems like what. There was no catastrophic event that preceded him being removed other than people. This guy seems kind of.

[Katie Nolan]

We have always said that if it's a guy who seems kind of up, we should get him out and put somebody else in. Then they took action towards doing that. And then because of the effect on like markets and business going like, well, if Sam's not in charge, we don't want to be in charge. And then he got everybody to sign that, that thing that said they wanted him in charge. And then he comes back in charge and immediately goes, well, I don't want to be in charge if these people who tried to oust me are here. So I'm going to make sense, I guess. But it's also like, at what point do you go, yeah, well, that was their chance to take out the guy that wasn't right to hold the button. And now he's going to hold the button as tight as humanly possible. Um, I just. I don't know, I guess I just wished that if these evil People were going to be in charge of all this important tech. They'd at least be cool and have good taste. Taste. And they all just seem to be damp and weird.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Not gonna happen for you, bro. It's not gonna work out.

[Katie Nolan]

None of them are ever like, whoa, at least he's cool.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But I don't, I just, I guess I just don't believe. I don't believe that it's going to work. I don't believe in AI. I don't think, like, I think some. It will make some things incrementally more efficient and better in some ways. But most things, I think it's like souped up Google and that's really kind of it.

[Katie Nolan]

But then if that's the case, then our economy is going to crash.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, that's what I think is gonna happen.

[Katie Nolan]

Either way, we're. That's my favorite part. That's what I think is cool.

[Pablo Torre]

I think has already been basically fundamentally replaced by AI in many key aspects. But the whole promise of what it is, it's in some ways the best advertising is the apocalypse because it's so impactful that it will create potentially the apocalypse. And what if in fact, the reality is that. Oh, no, it's just underwhelming.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But the problem, even with coding, I know you're trying to move on. Even with coding.

[Katie Nolan]

I sense that you want to not talk about this.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Even with coding. Like, someone's going to have to be. Have accountability for when the AI up the code. You know what I mean? Which it will do. It's going to make a mistake. And so what makes you think that

[Katie Nolan]

somebody will have to be accountable?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Well, just like, who are you going to blame when the, when, when it does the. When the hospitals, all the power goes out at all the hospitals because we, you know, we let immigrants, I would

[Katie Nolan]

guess is who they'll blame.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, but they're gonna.

[Katie Nolan]

If I had to make an educated

[Michael Cruz Kane]

guess, I mean, immigrants, you might be right. But it just, it feels like at some point there's going to be a human that is going to take all this for that. And it's almost. I hope it's going to be a while before it's the guy at the top. It's going to be like some dude in the middle who's like, we're going to. You're the AI. You're the overseer. And now that AI is doing coding for 7,000 projects that used to be done by 7,000 people, you're the one guy who has to oversee all 7,000 of those projects. And you can't do it. It's not possible.

[Pablo Torre]

As always, I want to reiterate that our house theory. Our house clubhouse leading theory.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Is that AI is in fact 60 Filipino guys.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, I. I love it. And for. And to those guys. Salama.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes. By the way, I. I was late in getting to this, but someone in the chat said, quote, my uncle had a wizinator that he would share and had makeup to alter it.

[Katie Nolan]

Wait, in case. In case what? Oh, because he would share it.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Yo, what?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Doug, can I borrow your wizinator? That's gonna be a no. Buy your own.

[Pablo Torre]

We do have to get though to the aforementioned protagonist, arguably of the shows we do together. Do we have the latest from Jordan Hudson?

[Katie Nolan]

No. What really do we have?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We have to.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, no.

[Katie Nolan]

Who would win? Foot Race? Pablo or Jordan? Well, I've never seen her in a flat shoe. I don't think. I don't know.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, but she's an athlete. Well, no offense to my friend, but she's. She's. She's done like a bunch of flips and I know she could do.

[Katie Nolan]

That's.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But that's. That's genetic. It could be. That could be. There might be any muscle in there.

[Pablo Torre]

There.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Sometimes. Sometimes the Filipino just have these secretly thick ass calves and you're like, what is that good for? And the answer is sometimes nothing.

[Katie Nolan]

Did you see UNC basically did it again, by the way. They hired their basketball coach, and it's a pro. A coach with pro experience and not a lot.

[Pablo Torre]

Michael Malone.

[Katie Nolan]

Don't call him.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You guys heard this, right? He's dating Jordan Hudson.

[Pablo Torre]

Whoa.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Crazy.

[Katie Nolan]

It all comes back to Jordan.

[Pablo Torre]

She is, for the record, a national champion cheerleader.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think she. I think she would stomp your ass in a race. I'm saying.

[Pablo Torre]

I mean, this was.

[Katie Nolan]

This was last month. Gold digger got paid. Hashtag pay. Hashtag Gold Digger. She has a lot in the cop in the captions. She does a lot with hashtags. She's writing in a way that, like she's got a dedic. It's almost reminds me of. God, what was that girl's name who went to those schools abroad? And she. Caroline Calloway. Yep. This. She's got a little Caroline Calloway to her, where you're just like, who's the. Who's this for?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What did she.

[Cletus (Caller)]

What.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What were we. What were we. What did she win? What was it?

[Cletus]

The.

[Katie Nolan]

The Gold Digger.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That can't be.

[Katie Nolan]

I have no idea. But that's. You look to the caption to go. What was the name of the event? Just find Pablo's name.

[Pablo Torre]

And she won the National Cheerleading Championship for adults.

[Katie Nolan]

That can't be what it's called.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Hell yeah. The NCCFA National Cheerleading Championship for adults. Gotta be ones of contestants in that.

[Pablo Torre]

Her cheerleading squad is named Code Black. And yeah, it's a National Cheerleading Championship. Guys.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't know.

[Katie Nolan]

I know it's a complicated. I don't have any issue with her doing this. This is great.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I would like to see that race, though. I would pay for the race.

[Katie Nolan]

I think she would win.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I do think she's. No offense to you is.

[Katie Nolan]

You know, I know there's a question mark and a. And a shroud of secrecy around. I do think she is younger than you. I know. At least she's younger than you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. And she's gonna be. She's gonna be full body fitness. She's probably running every day.

[Katie Nolan]

She's been working out. You walk home, which is a. I

[Pablo Torre]

do love a walk.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You could. You might be here on a walk if we said, look, you got. Who's gonna walk the furthest? I bet you would walk farther.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Can we turn our attention to the other person that we've been looking into at North Carolina?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Of course.

[Pablo Torre]

Of course. General manager.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, Jesus.

[Pablo Torre]

Michael Lombardi.

[Katie Nolan]

What do we got on him?

[Pablo Torre]

So I want to shout out, FOIA Ball, this is David Cavucci.

[Katie Nolan]

Good fellows.

[Pablo Torre]

His Italianness has been officially called into question because this is how he tweets about. About the movie Goodfellas.

[Katie Nolan]

Goodfellows.

[Pablo Torre]

That's crazy.

[Katie Nolan]

Made me want to watch Goodfellows.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Now it is crazy to call it

[Katie Nolan]

need to watch Goodfellows. What was he. What it. What in what world were Peter Schrager and Kay Adams talking to each other in December of 2016? And Lombardi came swooping in. Oh, was he at Fox at the time?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You gotta chime in. You need to watch Goodfellows.

[Katie Nolan]

That's absurd. I. That guy is not on earth.

[Pablo Torre]

There is more.

[Katie Nolan]

Great.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Good.

[Katie Nolan]

Love that scene. Ironic that Chris gets shot in the foot in Goodfellows and turns tables in Sopranos. You watch K. All right, dude. There was a character limit, but that wasn't it. He had room to. To speak in a understandable way.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

If you haven't seen the Goodfellows, I think you might enjoy my cousin Vincent. It's also supposed to be a pretty good flick.

[Pablo Torre]

There is more.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

He can't keep saying Goodfellows, much like

[Katie Nolan]

in the movie Diner. Femi is going to have to pass a test before we commence. Not the Colts test, rather a sopranos. Godfather, Goodfellows, JFK1. He can do it, right, Femi? I don't know. I don't know.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This was in 22 Good Fellows. That should be illegal, by the way. This is only an opportunity for me to say on the side that I think. Think that Joe Pesci is the greatest actor of all time.

[Katie Nolan]

Great.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Not a bit. I think he's the best.

[Katie Nolan]

Cool.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Number one. Dave could never.

[Pablo Torre]

Because of which role.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, we got. You got all. All the movies that that guy doesn't know the name of.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Then you got Home Alone. Then you got my cousin Vinnie.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This guy's doing. Look, and I know he's playing a similar character in all these movies, but are you gonna get my cousin Vinnie Laughs and you're gonna get Casino out of the same guy?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Robert De Niro's trying. Roberto's tried his whole life to get my cousin Vinnie. He can't do it. He can't do it. He's great, but he can't do it.

[Pablo Torre]

I feel like Michael Lombardi. We need to devote an entire episode to that.

[Katie Nolan]

Goodfellows.

[Pablo Torre]

To the fact that he's finding out why he said that he's Italian.

[Katie Nolan]

Wait, so did you say. Didn't you find something out about his last name in your findings? Out.

[Pablo Torre]

Well, it has been previously reported that he appreciates or benefits from the fact that people think he's related to Vince Lombardi.

[Katie Nolan]

Is his real last name that actual

[Michael Cruz Kane]

last year was like, Michael.

[Katie Nolan]

No.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, Lombardowitz.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Or it's like he's the good fellows of.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Made him Irish and Jewish at the same time.

[Katie Nolan]

Perfect. Didn't like. Didn't Joe Theisman change the way you say his name to. Because he won.

[Cletus]

Right.

[Pablo Torre]

So Joe Theisman, former quarterback.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You gotta tell me.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. He knows that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Grizzly. Grizzly leg accident from the. From lt. Right? There's an LT Heard.

[Pablo Torre]

Did Lawrence Taylor.

[Katie Nolan]

I think so.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Chatter oh, look who's. Look who's telling who what now.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

North Carolina alum Lawrence Taylor.

[Katie Nolan]

Bringing it all back full circle giveaway.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The. The story is that Joe Theisman.

[Katie Nolan]

It was how you're supposed to say

[Michael Cruz Kane]

it, but he changed Theisman because it rhymed with.

[Pablo Torre]

Heisman's doing a Heisman campaign.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wow. Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Did he win the Heisman?

[Katie Nolan]

No, I don't think so.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Would that work, do you think, if I change my last name to, like, Moscar or something?

[Katie Nolan]

Let's find out.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So I could win an Oscar. Michael. Michael.

[Katie Nolan]

Michael Cruz. Moscar.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Michael Cruz Moscar.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, yeah, I'll try it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

If it worked. But if it didn't work for him, I'm not doing it. But if it did work for him,

[Pablo Torre]

it didn't work, then I would.

[Katie Nolan]

That's why it's funny.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Ladies and gentlemen, Pablo Flobell Prize. Something like that.

[Katie Nolan]

It worked. Pablo would have done it by now.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, that's Men's Warehouse Helps you love the way you look. No matter if it's a formal occasion or a more casual thing.

[Katie Nolan]

Thing.

[Pablo Torre]

Job interview, tea time, high school reunion, wedding, courtside seats, or just a neighborhood party where you want people to say, man, that dude looks impressive. So if you're a man with literally anything on the books, Men's Warehouse has everything you need, from formal to casual. Dressed up to dress down. And the best part is they pride themselves on impeccable service from the moment you walk in the door. With in store experts well versed in finding you the right look for any occasion and on site tailors to make sure the fit is perfect for your body. Body Men's Wearhouse really has it all. Suits, tuxes, sport coats, jeans, shorts, chinos, T shirts, polos, loafers, sneakers, sandals. All of it. Get ready to look and feel good from head to toe by visiting Men's Wearhouse today. And with over 600 locations nationwide, they are nearby when you're ready to love the way you look. Men's Warehouse Love the way you look.

[Grow Therapy Announcer]

Fresh air, longer days, a chance to reset. This season, let therapy be part of your spring cleaning. Clearing mental clutter, shaking off stuckness, and building something better. Grow Therapy helps you get there. Whether it's your first time in therapy or your 50th. Grow makes it easier to find a therapist who fits you, not the other way around. You can search by what matters like insurance, specialty, identity or availability and get started in as little as two days. And if something comes up, you can Cancel up to 24 hours in advance at no cost. Grow helps you find therapy on your time. Whatever challenges you're facing. Grow Therapy is here to help grow. Accepts over 100 insurance plans. Sessions average about $21 with insurance and some pay as little as $0 depending on their plan. Visit growththerapy.com start now today to get started, that's growtherapy.com start now growtherapy.com start now availability and coverage vary and insurance plan.

[Verizon Announcer]

Think Verizon is expensive? Think again. Anyone can bring their AT&T or T mobile bill to a Verizon store today and we'll give you a better deal. So bring us your bill, walk in, run in, pogo stickin', teleport. If you can ride on the back of a rollerblading yak or fly in on the wings of a majestic falcon. Any way you can bring your AT&T or T mobile bill to a Verizon store today and we'll give you a better deal on the best network based on RootMetric's best overall mobile network performance. Performance US 2nd half 2025. All right. Preserved must provide very recent postpaid consumer mobile bill in the name of the person redeeming the deal. Additional terms, conditions and restrictions apply.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's true.

[Pablo Torre]

We're getting incoming interest in another familiar character on this program.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wonderful. It's the greatest hits.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No specific question, but I hope you guys dial in Cletus. What's up with. What's up with Cleus? I love Cletus.

[Katie Nolan]

Not the robot from Fox NFL season Sunday?

[Pablo Torre]

Yes. Not former Michael Colleague, that is.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, that is. And you should have heard those two in the getting coffee in the break room. But that's spelled like cleat. And this Cletus is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It would be forgivable if Cletus the robot thought the movie was called Goodfellows. Yeah, that would be allowed. Oh, that would make sense.

[Pablo Torre]

Even Cletus. This Cletus has been leaving us voicemails.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Our Cletus.

[Pablo Torre]

Our Cletus has been leaving us voicemails all year.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Cletus (Caller)]

Hey, Pablo, this is Cletus in Navarre, Florida. Man, I was just wondering something after watching the TV a lot, and I know the stuff. Why do women shave their underarms? And why are they. Is that a societal thing? Or is that men forcing them to. Or is that women just liking to do that? It seems like it's bad for them. Like, there's a lot of pores and stuff. And. And I just wonder if that's like a societal thing. And should we not act like that's gross when men don't do that? And I mean, I don't know, it just seems like it's kind of backwards. And of course, I'm married and all that. My wife, of course, does, but I just wouldn't want her feeling like she has to for me because I don't really think I'd care. But it seems kind of selfish if that's what society is putting on women. Make them do it where it seems like it could actually have adverse effects on the health and Maybe we should give the women a break and just let them be, you know, so I'll hang up and listen and I.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

He's having a feminist awakening every single day. Like he is sitting in Navarre, Florida by like a. A swamp. They have swamps. What's that there? Let's say swamp. Like reading the Feminist Mystique or whatever he's reading.

[Pablo Torre]

He's reading bell hooks.

[Katie Nolan]

Another thing.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, here's another one.

[Pablo Torre]

Do you remember what Cletus does?

[Katie Nolan]

He takes the cooking oil used cooking oil from restaurants and gathers it and sells it to people and they turn it into fuel or something.

[Pablo Torre]

A job that was last.

[Katie Nolan]

Cletus, that was pretty.

[Pablo Torre]

No, but I think that's right. It's. It's the job that was last in the news because of another Fox colleague of Got. Oh yeah, the robot Mark Sanchez, who got in a fight with that guy who was doing that in.

[Katie Nolan]

Whatever came of that. I don't know.

[Pablo Torre]

Our investigation into that continues, I suppose. Well, I suppose I do like that Cletus is married and is like. Let me ask Katie. Let me, let me ask Katie.

[Katie Nolan]

You think that was for me?

[Pablo Torre]

I think that was. Excuse me.

[Katie Nolan]

He says hello, Pablo.

[Pablo Torre]

No, but I think he knows that you're our in house woman.

[Katie Nolan]

Girl.

[Pablo Torre]

O'.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Neal.

[Katie Nolan]

Actually, just let me check and make sure I'm even on the. Yeah, there's. They're mostly shaved. I. I think it's. I think it's societal. Yeah, it's like a. It was seen as like a beauty standard thing. And look, you cannot. You can choose to not. But almost every time someone notices that a woman doesn't, it becomes the like leading headline about hers that shave her armpits.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Is it. Doesn't it feel like it was maybe. I'm not sure if I know this or if I'm feeling it.

[Cletus]

It.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But that it's like a Gillette thing that gillette and like whatever.

[Katie Nolan]

19 the same way with like diamond rings and engagement. The way they like tied it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

They were just like, if you don't do this, you're disgusting. I was like, we were never doing this before.

[Katie Nolan]

I believe it. I. This is. I got less of a problem with this. It's these I want to talk about. This is. No, your full leg. It's so much. It's 50 of your body and we're supposed to shave it all the time. It's just. This is like whoop, whoop, done. Whoop, whoop, done.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's the sound you make when you do it. Right.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, this is. This takes A lot of time. And it's all of your skin. So if you have like, sensitive skin, you're dragging. Imagine if you had to do your face, but it was your whole. It would be bottom half.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Although I would say, as my particular genetic makeup makes it so I don't actually have that much hair. So. But for, But I understand what you're getting at.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, I got, I, I, I, I'm, I'm a centaur.

[Katie Nolan]

What's that smooth up top?

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah. But down below it's.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm Italian, so I am entirely covered in hair. In fact, parts of me that seem like they're not. It's because we were early adopters to laser hair removal technology. My mom had a friend who was practicing. I was like 12, and she was like, let her zap.

[Pablo Torre]

Katie Nolan was in the Weapon X program for laser hair removal.

[Katie Nolan]

It hurt.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

My friend is pra. That's not a practice situation.

[Katie Nolan]

And they put numbing cream on it and it did not work. I got blasted most of my spots and it's all. I'm so hairy. It has fought back and I'm. And it's coming back.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Sweetie, let Linda practice with the laser on your face.

[Katie Nolan]

It was, yeah, technology, Killer healing factor.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You're running around the house, hiding behind the couch, and she's like trying to shoot lasers at you.

[Katie Nolan]

That was it. That was mostly it. It hurts so bad.

[Pablo Torre]

We do have another follow up inquiry along these lines.

[Katie Nolan]

Please, please, I only want to talk to Cletus.

[Cletus (Caller)]

Hey, Pablo, this is Cletus from Navarre, Florida. I was watching the TV the other night and I was just wondering, are women more constipated than men? If I ain't seen one, men constipation commercial. But we got all these women on the TV commercial talking about how they're constipated. And here's what you should take for it. And I'm just wondering if this is our fault, you know, like, is this a recent problem or is this men making women more constipated by putting pressure on them or I don't know what's going on, but I appreciate you for finding out for me. All right,

[Michael Cruz Kane]

now that's not a phenomenon I'm even aware of.

[Katie Nolan]

Me neither. It sounds like a woke way to ask if women are full of.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I have, I have seen, I think a commercial, but I don't remember if it's a man or a woman getting into a hot tub. They're getting into a hot tub where there's a bunch of like, attractive, other people in the hot tub with them. And they're kind of like, ooh, I can finally get in here. Because I'm not worried about taking a. I. I just took a look. You guys know what I'm talking about.

[Katie Nolan]

No, but I believe you. It's not your fault that it's weird. I've. You seen the cologuard one where the two women are like, like hitting on the anthropomorphic box that you're supposed to put your in to send off to this company? It makes. No, the thing's mowing the lawn and they're basically going like, wait, the box is mowing the lawn that you put your in. Why are you hitting on it sexually?

[Pablo Torre]

This is the non invasive prescription at home stool DNA test.

[Katie Nolan]

How you're like, what is even the messaging here where she's like, I love the way it does your yard work. The box of what are we talking about? Out. But do women get constipated more than men? Was the question. Yeah, and I, I don't.

[Pablo Torre]

I do like that Cletus is turning to us and not Claude or Chat. GPT.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, he's.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

He's just. He's looking at the world through a critical lens that maybe he's been, you know, awakened in some way and he's like, wait, hang on a second. Why are we. What. It's like. What is it called? Pink Tax. Pink tax.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Like everything. All the, all the products that are both men and women use if they're designed for women, it's like, like, oh, this is a little more. Why is a woman's razor cost more than a men's razor? What's going on there? That's Cletus. I bet. I bet you there's one of those.

[Katie Nolan]

I can't wait until Cletus, see, asks us why they only use blue liquid in period commercials when they.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I bet that's a fair question because what the.

[Katie Nolan]

I remember it was like, revolutionary. A while ago, somebody, like, used a different. I don't even think it. They used red.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

They used a different color.

[Katie Nolan]

And people were like, what?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The scientists ran screaming from the room.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, wait, it's red like that. Like, yeah, dude, it's red like that. It's also got chunks in it. What were you saying?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh. Ladies and gentlemen, this segment brought to you by Ch.

[Katie Nolan]

Grow up. We've had to deal with it our whole lives. You think we aren't horrified the first time we see that we're in middle school is already not going great for us. Okay? And then One day you go, I'm falling out of me. What was the other stuff you had anyway?

[Pablo Torre]

You were going to say I'm falling out of me. Let's go.

[Katie Nolan]

Everything is a nightmare. Life is just constantly going about something or another thing.

[Pablo Torre]

I.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Or a third thing.

[Pablo Torre]

Hold on, let me just see.

[Katie Nolan]

Important to know. Are you calling Cletus? He always just springs this on us.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It'd be funny if he's not calling

[Katie Nolan]

Cletus, put on speakerphone. It doesn't sound like it's on speakerphone to me. We can't hear that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You don't hear on the microphone?

[Katie Nolan]

No. Take the. Unplug it and push it into the mic.

[Pablo Torre]

Cletus, can you hear me as well as Katie Nolan, as well as Michael Cruz Kane?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Hi, Cletus.

[Katie Nolan]

We're good. Cletus, we. We miss you. Hell yeah.

[Cletus]

Yeah, I had a. I had a little brief sin of fame in the panhandle.

[Katie Nolan]

That's right. I think it's still going.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You're famous to us still. We listened to a couple of your messages just now.

[Cletus]

Uhoh.

[Katie Nolan]

Uhoh.

[Pablo Torre]

Cleus, can you paint the picture of where you are right now as you continue to be our Florida Panhandle correspondent?

[Cletus]

I'm on the Florida Panhandle taking. Taking a grease container to somebody and trying to figure out what I'm gonna cook dinner for my wife tonight.

[Katie Nolan]

Hell yeah. What are the options?

[Cletus]

I don't know. I mean, I'm probably gonna do like a Greek bowl, saute some chicken breast and do some Greek rice and put some avocados, some feta cheese, some olives, tomatoes, cucumber, and green onion, and put some pepperoncinis on top of it. Call it a meal.

[Katie Nolan]

Yum.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That sounds very healthy. Can I ask a question? My question for you, Cletus, is what's the division of dinner preparation in your home? What percent of the time are you doing it and what percent of the time is she doing it?

[Cletus]

Well, my wife works harder than I do, so I try to do most of the cooking because although she's a great cook, I just. Just try to make it easier on her.

[Pablo Torre]

She's a. She's a nurse, right, Cletus? She's a nurse.

[Cletus]

Well, she's a director of nursing, but yeah, she wasn't. She's still a nurse at heart, but yeah. And I'm a chef. In a former life. We used to own restaurants in Alabama, and I'm. I'm a certified chef, so she lets me do it because I enjoy it. She. She. She cooks and it's great, but she doesn't enjoy it. So.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

My wife is a nurse also, Cletus. And I know that. I know the grind. So I'm also used to getting food on the table for my wife, who works much harder than me. Respect.

[Katie Nolan]

You're just saying what he said.

[Cletus]

Nurses. I don't. Nurses get the whole first responder discounts that everybody else.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Cletus]

Saves lives, kids.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I wonder about that. When I was banging my pot and pan during the pandemic. That was exclusively for nurses. That's who I was thinking of when I was leaning out my window.

[Cletus]

Exactly. We just forgot about them now.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, that sucks.

[Cletus]

My wife's a. She's a really hard, hard worker and she's very dedicated.

[Pablo Torre]

Well, Cletus, Cletus, we love. We love. We love that you continue to embody what it means to be the ideal spouse of a Filipino person and.

[Cletus]

Well, actually my wife's not Filipino.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, she's a nurse. So technically I think my son in

[Cletus]

law is Filipino and my daughter is married to him and his family's Filipino.

[Katie Nolan]

Ah, okay.

[Cletus]

And you know, y' all call on birthdays. It's weird.

[Katie Nolan]

Whose birthday?

[Pablo Torre]

Whose birthday?

[Cletus]

And it's my. It's my grandson Eli's too today.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, Eli.

[Katie Nolan]

Happy birthday, Eli.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Happy birthday, Eli.

[Cletus]

Why Elijah Garcia? We're going to teach him how to play basketball or something where he can be on the Filipino national team.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes.

[Cletus]

You don't have to be that good.

[Pablo Torre]

You don't even need to. You don't even need to be Filipino. The Philippines made Andre Blatch former Washington

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wizards center isn't JaVale McGee on the Filipino national team.

[Pablo Torre]

We passed legislation to make those guys members of the national team.

[Cletus]

Well, I'm just. I'm hoping Eli like catches the spirit of the Olympics and maybe. I don't know what we'll train him to do, but I just want to go to the Olympics and represent the Philippines.

[Pablo Torre]

I. I would love nothing more than that. Cletus, Cletus. You know, it also occurs to me that in your capacity as professional guy who deals with oil, you're also now are oil correspondent. How do you feel about potentially the end of the world tonight at 8pm Eastern?

[Cletus]

Yeah. It's been on my mind two days now and we have a madman as a president. Although I didn't vote for it. There's a lot of people down here that did. We just went to Disney World this past week celebrate my grandson's two year old birthday and. And I didn't see one Make a great America great again. Ad. Where have they gone? Well, I mean, is it. They're embarrassed, they lose their hats on the panhandle. We're. It's pretty red down here and everybody is just kind of pretend like they ain't got a part of this now. And I won't let them forget. You know, I just. I'm still a conservative person as far as money, but as far as everything else, I say live and let live. And you should just love your fellow human being. And I just don't know what's happened to these people. They've just. I mean, you know, when you elect a madman, you gotta stick with it and go down with the ship. They're not doing it. And I'm. I have a feeling he's gonna taco out tonight.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But I hope he does.

[Cletus]

I do too. I mean, I just. I met all the awful stuff he says. Awful? Like only a crazy person. He's already crazy. But this stuff is 25th amendment worthy to me. And. And I just. I would. Pablo, I swear, you'd be such a good President of the United States.

[Katie Nolan]

Chill out, Cletus.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We just started the committee to elect Pablo president. It started right.

[Katie Nolan]

I can't. I can't. I was with you the whole time. I can't let you do this.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's either Pablo or Stephen A. Smith. Those are your two choices. That's who you get.

[Cletus]

I just. Katie. I mean, you have a cabinet position.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, that's not a good idea either.

[Pablo Torre]

Secretary of chicks.

[Katie Nolan]

Jesus Christ.

[Cletus]

Secretary of Coolness.

[Katie Nolan]

Hell yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Secretary of Coolness. We create a new cabinet position.

[Pablo Torre]

Cletus, I should have. I should have told you that you're currently live. Oh yeah. On air. But I also. Very good. Legally cleared that hurdle. And also thank you for providing us a note of. For me personal hopefulness that I didn't have when we started the show is true. And we love you, Cletus.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Thank you, Cletus.

[Pablo Torre]

Happy birthday to Eli. And thank you. Thank you for your endorsement. I do approve this message.

[Katie Nolan]

Don't that part. No, but the rest of it. Yes.

[Cletus]

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'm always here for you, Pablo. I mean, always.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh yeah.

[Cletus]

I enjoy. I. I listen to Katie show. I mean, Cletus, it's all good. And Katie, like when you first started on Levitard, I was like, oh my God, she is so funny.

[Cletus (Caller)]

I get.

[Pablo Torre]

I think we probably wrap it up now though.

[Katie Nolan]

We got the end music. The end music.

[Pablo Torre]

End music.

[Grow Therapy Announcer]

Ah, the.

[Pablo Torre]

This has been Pablo Torre finds out a meadowlark Media Production and I'll talk to you next time.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

You're listening to this podcast. So I know you've got a curious mind. Here's a helpful fact you might not know yet. Drivers who switch and save with Progressive save over $900 on average. Pop over to progressive.com, answer some questions and you'll get a quick quote with discounts that are easy to come by. In fact, 99% of their auto customers earn at least one discount. Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little cash back. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national average 12 month savings by $946 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2024 and May 2025.

[Verizon Announcer]

Potential savings will vary Think Verizon is expensive? Think again. Anyone can bring their AT and T or T mobile bill to a Verizon store today and we'll give you a better deal. So bring us your bill. Walking, running, Ho. Go Stickin, Teleport. If you can ride on the back of a rollerblading yak or flyin on the wings of a majestic falcon. Any way you can bring your AT&T or T mobile bill to a Verizon store today and we'll give you a better deal on the best network based on RootMetric's best overall mobile network performance. US 2nd half 2025 all rights preserved Must provide a very recent postpaid consumer mobile bill in the name of the person redeeming the deal. Additional terms, conditions and restrictions apply.

[Pablo Torre]

ACAST powers the World's best Podcasts Here's

[Cletus]

a show that we recommend.

[Grow Therapy Announcer]

Hi, I'm Rachel Fisher.

[Katie Nolan]

And I'm Desi Jetekin and we're the

[Verizon Announcer]

host of Hollywood Crime Scene, a true crime podcast that focuses on celebrity crime, infamous crime, movies and cases from Los Angeles.

[Grow Therapy Announcer]

From movie, TV and music stars to

[Katie Nolan]

athletes, as well as the wealthy and

[Grow Therapy Announcer]

politically elite, we cover the seedier side

[Katie Nolan]

of the lifestyles of the rich and famous.

[Verizon Announcer]

New episodes drop every Tuesday and you can check us out by Wherever you listen to podcasts,

[Pablo Torre]

ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.