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Pablo Torre
law Ever walked past a place for rent and wish you could just take a peek inside? Maybe even explore the layout? Envision the natural light streaming through the windows or plan where your vinyl record collection would go. At apartments.com you can. With tools like their 3D virtual tours, you can see the exact unit you could be living in. Really envision yourself in your new home with Apartments.com, the place to find a place. I just heard something that completely shocked me, which is that 45% of girls and 32% of boys feel overwhelming stress from just being on social media. And together 25% of both feel worse about their own lives. Researchers found teens who spend more than five hours a day on their phones are at double the risk for suicidal thoughts. Bottom line, teens and phones don't mix with a daughter. Myself, I am constantly worried about when she reaches an age where we'll have to have the phone talk. But here's the good news. There is a solution. A company called Gab, which has solved the problem by doing something that no one else is doing. Their approach is tech in Steps. Tech in Steps works by providing safer phones and watches for kids with no social media. Tailored to every age, offering the right device at the right time. From GPS tracking enabled watches for younger kids to phones with parent enabled apps for tweens and teens, each device allows kids to more safely grow their independence. You don't have to give your kid advice that was made for an adult. Get them Gab, which keeps them socially connected without social media. And right now you can use our code to get 60% off a kid's phone. That will make parenting easier and give you more peace of mind. That's why I am recommending Gab. Visit gab.comptfo and use code PTFO for an exclusive offer. That's Gab GA BB. Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out I am Pablo Torre and today we're going to find out what this sound is. So that was. That was hilarious. I Think justified.
Katie Nolan
Hilarious.
Michael Cruz Kane
One of my favorite bits of humor is the end of the world. You know what I mean?
Katie Nolan
That was a big open you were talking about.
Michael Cruz Kane
It's nice to see you all. Good to see you in this time and place. I want. Can I. Can I acknowledge that we were told not to talk right before this? So I had kind of the giddy vibe of a surprise party.
Katie Nolan
Right. And then it was that.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah.
Katie Nolan
So I was, like, getting ready to giggle. And then it was that surprise.
Michael Cruz Kane
Big bomb sounds.
Pablo Torre
So I think this might. This might be the last thing we do together.
Katie Nolan
Okay.
Michael Cruz Kane
On the. On this plane.
Pablo Torre
Yeah.
Michael Cruz Kane
But I'll see you another. In another life, brother.
Katie Nolan
I'll find you guys in every life.
Michael Cruz Kane
I'll find you in every life.
Katie Nolan
I will.
Pablo Torre
Should we just acknowledge the. By the way, Michael Cruz K and Katie Nolan, thank you for being here.
Katie Nolan
Are we live?
Pablo Torre
Yeah, we are. I think we are live. Cortez is monitoring the chat. Parakeet Cortez.
Katie Nolan
What's up?
Pablo Torre
Chat update us. Hamburgers in the chat. We can play directly to goose the engagement to get this thing boosted in the algorithm.
Katie Nolan
Boost.
Pablo Torre
Boost Hamburgers in the chat.
Katie Nolan
I'm not going to participate in it. Any of that part of it.
Cletus
I'm only.
Michael Cruz Kane
I'm that part only. I'm only responding to chat.
Katie Nolan
No, I. I like responding to chat. Oh, telling them to put hamburgers in the chat.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah, I'm.
Katie Nolan
I don't know what that is.
Pablo Torre
I was convinced to not do the thing I wanted to do with you guys, which is a big investigative scheme of sorts. We're gonna. We're gonna table that.
Michael Cruz Kane
Okay.
Pablo Torre
For the time being.
Michael Cruz Kane
Okay.
Pablo Torre
Because we've been told over and over again on this show that we want to activate the F yefs around option. Pablo Torre. Fs around.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah.
Katie Nolan
Yeah.
Pablo Torre
And it happens to be that we chose that option on the day when the President did truth this. So I just want to acknowledge that in some ways, this is the worst timing for your friendly neighborhood podcast host. Who wants to read this? Just to bring the audio audience in when this makes it to the Apple podcast app. If, again, we don't do the thing that the first part of the sentence
Michael Cruz Kane
says, a whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again. I don't want that to happen, but it probably will. However, now that we have complete and total regime change where different, smarter and less radicalized minds prevail, maybe something revolutionarily wonderful can happen.
Katie Nolan
Who knows?
Michael Cruz Kane
We will find out tonight. One of the most important moments in the long and Complex history of the world. 47 years of extortion, corruption, and death will finally end. God bless the great people of Iran. That's my dog, dude.
Pablo Torre
I love that guy.
Michael Cruz Kane
He rules just.
Katie Nolan
I don't know. I feel like we've done a good job of going about our days, through a lot of stuff recently.
Pablo Torre
We had a pretty good run despite everything and.
Katie Nolan
But today, I do think I reached my breaking point today. I think when I woke up and I got that push notification of our president logged on to a social media network that only he uses, I think, and said and started a truth with a sentence of a civilization will end tonight. Made me, like. I'm like, sick this. What is going on? And is. Is somebody going to stop it? Like, what are we. What are. I feel like crushed under the weight of, like, I. We. We got to do something, probably, but I don't know what it is. I don't understand how this. How we're here.
Pablo Torre
So we're not going to spend all of our time talking because I don't want to spend the last hour on Earth talking about how we need to improve.
Katie Nolan
Thanks for bringing it up.
Pablo Torre
I will say, I do think we should probably.
Michael Cruz Kane
The only thing I want to say
Pablo Torre
about, again, the part of that tweet
Michael Cruz Kane
or whatever you call it that I really am fixated on is all caps. Who knows, who knows, who knows?
Katie Nolan
And I don't want that. Yeah, I don't want that. But it. It could happen. It's like, this is insane.
Pablo Torre
It is.
Katie Nolan
It is.
Pablo Torre
It's a thing of, like, I wanted to zag. And then it was like, I just want the documentary that someone is making about this to not have any ability to avoid the fact that we did acknowledge that we should probably get rid of this guy.
Katie Nolan
Is he talking about someone's making a documentary about this podcast?
Pablo Torre
Oh, yeah. There's a documentarian over there about this.
Michael Cruz Kane
What's happening right now.
Pablo Torre
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa. It is also titled the Last Dance. Oh, there are four astronauts, by the way, on this. On this moon mission.
Katie Nolan
Yeah.
Pablo Torre
It's cool that they're going to be the only people left.
Michael Cruz Kane
They could come back like Planet of the Apes style. Like, come back to this planet and it's.
Katie Nolan
They better be ready to repo.
Michael Cruz Kane
It's all whatever. And they're like, when we get back to our home planet, then they realize, oh, this is your home planet.
Katie Nolan
Just like in Twilight Zone.
Michael Cruz Kane
Okay, if you say so.
Katie Nolan
Wasn't that.
Michael Cruz Kane
But I would. I would love to be. Now would be the time of any time to be an astronaut, now would be the time. Because at least you're out there.
Cletus
Yeah.
Michael Cruz Kane
And, yes, you are. You know, your toilet don't work.
Katie Nolan
They fixed it.
Michael Cruz Kane
They fixed it.
Katie Nolan
They fixed it. It was just for the first few hours, which you would hope they went before they left. You would hope they were like, hey, before we hop in, for sure thing. To go around the moon, everybody pee. You know, and so hopefully they didn't. It wasn't an emergency. They were instructed to pee in bags, which does seem easier for one of the types of astronauts and less easy for the other.
Michael Cruz Kane
But maybe they have. They must have by this point. They must have an. A bag that's a unisex bag. Or maybe not. Maybe two different bags that work equally well for each, don't they?
Katie Nolan
There's a mechanism you can purchase as a woman to pee outside.
Pablo Torre
Like a little water slide.
Katie Nolan
It's almost like a. It's like a cup, but with a.
Pablo Torre
It's like a Wizinator, but for girls.
Katie Nolan
What the hell's that?
Michael Cruz Kane
What's a Wizzinator?
Pablo Torre
You guys know what the Wizinator is?
Michael Cruz Kane
Sound off in the chat if you know what a Wizzinator.
Katie Nolan
What's a Wizinator?
Pablo Torre
The Wizinator is a device that you can purchase.
Michael Cruz Kane
Okay.
Pablo Torre
That was used, I believe. And I. Because we're live, I gotta Google the athlete's name. Who I believe used it? It is, in fact, yes, former Minnesota Vikings running back Ontario Smith, who was caught in 2005 at the Minneapolis St. Paul International Airport with the original Wizinator. It's a prosthetic device designed to bypass drug tests.
Katie Nolan
Okay. That's the part I was missing. I was like. Yeah.
Michael Cruz Kane
I thought it was, like. I thought it was a little PP lose.
Pablo Torre
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a fake penis, a bladder, and some attic urine.
Katie Nolan
No, that's not what I was talking about, but I would like to use that.
Pablo Torre
It's actually. It's. I mean, I'll show it to you. We can't.
Katie Nolan
No, thanks.
Michael Cruz Kane
That's fine. You don't have to.
Katie Nolan
So let's get.
Michael Cruz Kane
If you wanted to.
Pablo Torre
Oh, look, hold on. The Wiznator 5000 comes in natural, lifelike skin tones. Black brown, Latino, tan, and white.
Katie Nolan
Yo, they named them that.
Michael Cruz Kane
That doesn't sound right.
Katie Nolan
They didn't just come up with, like, a. That doesn't sound a better shade range than most makeup that comes out now.
Pablo Torre
So that's Michelangelo, at least. Donatello. Raphael. So that is. Is. Is not what they used. I'm Being told in my ear, the chat is saying that Jordan Hudson ever get around to suing any of the people in that studio?
Katie Nolan
She doesn't, she hasn't even addressed me. I don't think she's ever talked to you.
Michael Cruz Kane
All her animosity, I believe, is pointed
Katie Nolan
toward our friend Pablo, which I do appreciate. Thank you, Queen.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah, she's correct about that.
Katie Nolan
Right? We didn't do nothing. We're just here to.
Michael Cruz Kane
I'm a, I'm a bit. I'm just here to go. Oh my God.
Katie Nolan
Is that right?
Michael Cruz Kane
Are you kidding? That's what I do.
Pablo Torre
That's what people say on the street. Are you the guy who said, oh my God.
Michael Cruz Kane
Did you ever get sued by Jordan Hudson?
Pablo Torre
Not yet. Although again, time. If she's watching Time is money. Yes.
Michael Cruz Kane
I maintain that she would be an excellent guest on this show and would be treated with the utmost respect if she were ever to participate in it.
Pablo Torre
I agree. I sincerely agree. And I'd like to look into the camera to. Can we, can we pull me. Yep, there it is. Geez.
Katie Nolan
Calling for his own camera.
Pablo Torre
Jordan Hudson, you're officially invited back onto the show.
Katie Nolan
She knows that. Oh, I think she knows that. I think she's like, I don't think he'd have me.
Pablo Torre
Did you know that in the 160 years after the Civil War, US presidents fired 11 four and five star military officers? And in this first 14 months of Donald Trump, the White House has fired nine of them?
Michael Cruz Kane
So the 11 includes the nine or it's 11 and then nine more.
Pablo Torre
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Michael Cruz Kane
The second one.
Pablo Torre
Oh, this is a good, this is a good fact checking question.
Michael Cruz Kane
We'll find out. Someone will know someone in the room in the chat.
Pablo Torre
Can the chat fact check whether Donald Trump fired nine of the 11 four and five star military officers in the 160 years after the Civil War? Or if that number of 11 is non inclusive.
Michael Cruz Kane
Right.
Pablo Torre
Of his personal.
Michael Cruz Kane
Because it's either like 45% of people or it's like 90% of people, which either way it's still a lot of the people. But I think the. I was talking about this today with someone. That guy lives in such like a bespoke reality where like we, you know, the siloing of everybody, all of our social media, etc. Like he's getting reports that are only the things that people think he wants to hear as opposed to every prior president who was getting what someone thought was the news. The important thing he's getting like whatever. So he's doing, he's doing the right thing as far as he knows.
Pablo Torre
This reminds me of yet another viewer question that we got recently. Okay, we throw that on the screen. How would you rate the crowd work on at Cruz Kane's new standup special, scale of 1 to 10?
Katie Nolan
This reminded me. I was thinking about this same question. Now, you did a little crowd work
Michael Cruz Kane
a tiny bit, but it wasn't a lot. No, I think. I think. Well, I think what this person is referring to is a bit very early on in the show where I say I'm going, where I ask someone in the audience.
Pablo Torre
I think this was a very significant piece of the show.
Michael Cruz Kane
I asked someone in the audience what their name is, and at this point,
Pablo Torre
well, do we have the clip?
Michael Cruz Kane
Okay, that's a little heavy. Let me lighten it up with some classic comedy stuff. Like you, sir, what's your name?
Cletus
Pablo.
Michael Cruz Kane
Pablo. Very good. That is my crowd work. So that part is kind of closed.
Katie Nolan
I forgot about that. You didn't. You just played the clip where he says your name. It's absurd the way you feed into what everybody thinks you are.
Pablo Torre
I think I nailed it.
Katie Nolan
It's.
Pablo Torre
I think I nailed that. The setup as well as the dismount.
Michael Cruz Kane
I will also say that I did not. I swear to God, I did not mean to call on you. What happened there is.
Pablo Torre
See, I don't.
Michael Cruz Kane
I looked in the first row and the first person I saw was my neighbor.
Katie Nolan
Way too close. Way too close to you.
Michael Cruz Kane
And then so I just went to the next row and I was like, well, I don't. I can't be searching for who to do this with. So then I just went to you and boom, there you were.
Pablo Torre
Katie and I were sitting next to each other.
Katie Nolan
Now there's evidence of that.
Pablo Torre
And I. People in the chat are also saying
Katie Nolan
that you have access to the chat.
Pablo Torre
Well, Cortez is sending me what people are saying. I like Donald Trump. I'm getting a selected version.
Katie Nolan
Send me the chat, Cortez, of the
Pablo Torre
reality that we inhabit.
Michael Cruz Kane
Write the chat on giant cue cards and press them up against the glass over there.
Pablo Torre
People are saying that Katie's eye contact was not exactly that of someone who was engaged.
Katie Nolan
If you listened to the episode that we did without you on my podcast, which I've since found out you didn't even care to listen.
Michael Cruz Kane
Didn't even know she had about it.
Pablo Torre
That's non canonical.
Katie Nolan
Even though he commented, like, probably hard hands or something on the Instagram.
Michael Cruz Kane
I think he did, actually.
Katie Nolan
I didn't even click play. I'm over here doing my makeup and streaming your show. That was my intro, so I can stay. And you're just like, good job, everybody. But anyway, I was looking at one of the promo clips that you posted on Instagram, and in the promo clip, it cuts to an audience reaction shot, and Pablo's, like, looking up and smiling, and I'm, like, looking into middle distance, and my first reaction was, am I on my phone? And then my immediate second reaction was, we were so close to you, and you had called on him early and that there's no chance I would have pulled my phone out, not because I'm a good person, but because I would have gotten caught and made fun of for it endlessly. So then I was like, why would I have been looking? And my best explanation was that now that I go with Dan to his shows a lot and I'm in the back listening to the comedy, sometimes I just, like, zone out. Not, like, looking up at you. You know, you weren't doing a lot of physical.
Michael Cruz Kane
Not a lot of gymnastics in a set. Okay.
Katie Nolan
And so I think I was probably just, like, staring into space and listening, which I. I'm sorry, I checked my phone during your special.
Michael Cruz Kane
Apologize to me. I. There's nothing to me more plausible than. I was so locked in that I was looking down the floor and Pablo
Katie Nolan
was locked in to the camera.
Michael Cruz Kane
I was, like, so into what you were saying that I looked directly away from.
Katie Nolan
It was just.
Michael Cruz Kane
Nothing could be more plausible to me.
Katie Nolan
How was the reaction to the special? Did you get all the. All the flowers and praise?
Michael Cruz Kane
Tons of flowers. Honestly, the community of people that surround Dropout, which is the company that produced this, is so, like, unbelievably supportive and positive.
Katie Nolan
They seem that way. So it's.
Michael Cruz Kane
The only negativity in there at all
Pablo Torre
is from Katie's eye contact?
Michael Cruz Kane
No, none. Is that in. In the thread of one of the clips that Dropout posted, people are having a robust argument about veganism, and they're really kind of going at each other
Katie Nolan
when something just kind of takes over. A clip of yours. But the notifications stay the same. So you just watch people having an intense debate that has genuinely nothing to do with.
Michael Cruz Kane
Every two minutes, I get an update about factory farming in a thing that has. That is not really about that at all.
Katie Nolan
At all.
Pablo Torre
By contrast, what the PTFO community has asked us to look into. We have that next one here.
Katie Nolan
Oh, no. What? You could break it to Katie that Dan is parentheses technically in the Epstein files. And I assume we're talking about Lebitard
Pablo Torre
we are not.
Katie Nolan
Okay. What's up? What's going on? What is. What's happening?
Michael Cruz Kane
What is this?
Katie Nolan
Somebody was. Wasn't there a thing where they were looking at shows? Comedy shows.
Pablo Torre
Let's let the evidence decide.
Katie Nolan
It's not. This is bullshit, what you're doing.
Pablo Torre
Yeah.
Katie Nolan
Okay. So it's Jeffrey Epstein to. From. We don't know, but it's to Jeffrey Epstein. It says this forward comedy seller David Tell. Comedy Underground Life. Shout out. David Tell. This place is great. You'd love it with a smiley face. And it's the comedy seller lineup, I assume for that night. And I bet in there somewhere is Dan's name.
Michael Cruz Kane
We're going to scroll down and see Dan's name.
Katie Nolan
I don't think.
Pablo Torre
I think they're going to attempt to scroll. Oh, there.
Katie Nolan
Oh, here we go. Damn.
Michael Cruz Kane
There he is.
Pablo Torre
Damn. What does it feel like to be engaged to someone who may have made Jeffrey Epstein laugh uproariously?
Katie Nolan
It's tough.
Michael Cruz Kane
It's a tough, confusing feeling.
Katie Nolan
It's a tough thought, you know? But I do think Dan really likes to make anybody laugh.
Michael Cruz Kane
And unfortunately, speaking on behalf of Dan.
Katie Nolan
Yeah. If I may. Dan said that he values all of his fans, especially Jeffrey.
Pablo Torre
Fans matter.
Katie Nolan
That's right. That's exactly what he said. Quote him on that. Dan Soder. All fans matter, especially Jeffrey Epstein.
Michael Cruz Kane
Did you guys see in the Epstein files where they talk about the Black Eyed Peas?
Katie Nolan
I didn't look at these things at all. I know. What's in them? I don't know. I don't need to see it. I don't.
Michael Cruz Kane
Are we all digging through them? But I had a friend who. I have a friend who is. Who?
Pablo Torre
Like one of the Black Eyed Peas.
Michael Cruz Kane
I wish. Oh, my God.
Katie Nolan
Nobody knows him. That's my fault.
Pablo Torre
He's the Filipino.
Katie Nolan
Of course.
Michael Cruz Kane
He's the most known one. Who are the other ones?
Katie Nolan
How do even say Apple to app?
Michael Cruz Kane
Yes, Apple. I believe it's Apple D App pronounced. It's almost as if there's no okay.
Katie Nolan
And then Will I am. And then Fergie. Who's the. Who are we missing?
Pablo Torre
Matrix guy.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah, might be Matrix Guy.
Katie Nolan
It's.
Michael Cruz Kane
I think it's his name.
Katie Nolan
It's like that's the way. That's the syllables of it.
Pablo Torre
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Katie Nolan
Short syllable, letter taboo.
Michael Cruz Kane
Taboo Couldn't have been more wrong.
Pablo Torre
Matrix Guy.
Michael Cruz Kane
But they talk about the Black Eyed Peas. Okay, what I was going to say is that I have a friend who is reading the files just like leisurely, like. Just like I Have nothing to do for the next few hours. I'm gonna just dive in and read the files. So if I see her, I'll be like, what'd you do today? And she'll be like, I went for a walk the files for a couple hours, went to the gym, that kind of thing. And she drew my attention to the fact that the Black Eyed Peas. Someone is really trying to get Ghislaine Maxwell to listen to the Black Eyed Peas. And that's just kind of a fun thing that happens.
Katie Nolan
It's a fun wrinkle.
Michael Cruz Kane
Some things in the Epstein files are like, kind of.
Katie Nolan
Sure. And I. And I would be more inclined to be interested in them if the rest of it didn't make me wanna.
Michael Cruz Kane
And absolutely fair. I think that is totally fair.
Katie Nolan
You know, so I'm doing my best to avoid all stuff that makes me wanna. Because it's a lot. I have. It's a tough time to be depressed, you guys. Is it just not like, it's not chill right now. It's. I'm not looking out at the world and going, like, gonna be okay.
Michael Cruz Kane
I feel. I guess it's probably worse.
Katie Nolan
Everything feels really heavy.
Pablo Torre
And so I think it's fair to say also that, like, as the Epstein files are concerned, just being in them is not proof of anything. Sometimes people are just in it because they got recommended because Jeffrey Epstein has friends that are saying, like, oh, you should look at this cool thing.
Katie Nolan
And they have like, why are you in there too? Yeah, of course.
Michael Cruz Kane
There he is.
Katie Nolan
Isolation play. It isn't Kobe's taunts or humiliating viral videos that have made this the toughest year of Jeremy Lynn's life. Do you remember writing that?
Pablo Torre
So this. This is allegedly. This is like a roundup of. This is a flipboard email that Jeffrey Epstein.
Michael Cruz Kane
Remember that? Yeah.
Pablo Torre
I wrote an article about. About Jeremy Lynn, my man. You're saying about Jeffrey Epstein about Jeremy Lynn. And what seems to be completely innocent, like just email is admittedly undercut by the fact that it's above eight perfect getaways with outdoor showers.
Katie Nolan
Yeah.
Michael Cruz Kane
So wait, what. What am I looking how this is in the files? Someone.
Pablo Torre
Yeah.
Michael Cruz Kane
In Jeffrey Epstein's circle.
Pablo Torre
I think his email got me my writing in there. So fun.
Michael Cruz Kane
Did it get the fact that I on Facebook have DMed Jeremy Lin probably 400 times? I haven't in the last few years, but he used to post Facebook stories. He doesn't anymore, but when he posted Facebook stories, I would respond to the stories being like, go get a man. You know what I Mean just stuff
Katie Nolan
like that on purpose.
Michael Cruz Kane
You're doing, you're doing it. Oh no, just little positive affirmations for
Pablo Torre
my boy Jeremy with the hard hands.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah, he never hit me with anything. Yeah, he. No, no response ever. And you know, more prior to him. I wouldn't, I wouldn't have either if I were him. But I was just trying, you know.
Katie Nolan
That's really cute.
Michael Cruz Kane
You're out there in China, you're doing it.
Katie Nolan
There's been on the receiving end of those. When you post a story, one person responds all the time with little messages. Yeah, that's like such a nicer version of it.
Michael Cruz Kane
Okay, thank you.
Katie Nolan
Scary. It happens to other people too.
Pablo Torre
But just to confirm, you are reading all of the things.
Katie Nolan
No, not anymore.
Pablo Torre
Anymore. No, I don't.
Katie Nolan
Not anymore. I'm not allowed to. I gotta read books instead. I gotta. The only thing trying to stay off
Michael Cruz Kane
this thing, it's in her lap.
Pablo Torre
The phone that has the article about Sam Altman on it.
Katie Nolan
Yeah. And I thought I got really deep into that article. We have another question high up.
Pablo Torre
We have another question.
NerdWallet Announcer
Okay.
Michael Cruz Kane
Oh, oh, here we go.
Pablo Torre
Thoughts on Sam Altman, More to possibly find out. Question mark. I do think that if you haven't read the giant New Yorker article that is co written by Ronan farrow, I've
Michael Cruz Kane
read 40, 000 words of it, which
Katie Nolan
is 4% more than enough. And then I found out it's there's a lot more.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah, we've talked about this, I think on this podcast before. But when you're scrolling in the little cursor you like, you go like this. Yeah, the little cursor goes. You're like, I'm not going to get to the end of this. I don't think I'm going to try.
Katie Nolan
So much has happened in the little words I've read. It's like, well, I must be towards the end of this article. And it's like you're you girl. You haven't even started scratching the surface.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah.
Pablo Torre
The quote that I think we can just like pull out for everybody to just like not read it but get the sense of is quote. I think there's a small but real chance he's eventually remembered as a Bernie Madoff or Sam Bankman fried level scammer. End quote.
Katie Nolan
Yeah, I was focused in on that. The quote about him being a sociopath.
Pablo Torre
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Michael Cruz Kane
I mean I think if it's Bernie Madoff, it's going to be like Bernie Manna for the whole economy.
Katie Nolan
Yeah.
Michael Cruz Kane
Because he really like.
Katie Nolan
Yeah. Well, it's bigger than.
Michael Cruz Kane
Bigger than Madoff.
Pablo Torre
Which. Which brings up, I think our. This is a thing that I think we have some culpability for me. Yes. Oh, well, me and you and not Katie. Oh, hell yeah.
Katie Nolan
What the. Love the way this sounds. More of this.
Pablo Torre
So on Halloween, people who. Who are in the chat may remember this.
Michael Cruz Kane
I see where we're going.
Pablo Torre
Throw burgers in the chat because Michael Cruz Kane was dressed as a burger. We invited a literal witch to the studio and I was dressed as a tree. I think remember which his name. The award winning witch.
Michael Cruz Kane
Oh man, I wish that I did, but I don't.
Pablo Torre
Lexa. Rosie Ann.
Michael Cruz Kane
Oh, of course.
Pablo Torre
Village Voice. Village Voice.
Michael Cruz Kane
I liked her very much.
Pablo Torre
I'll tell you, winning, which Michael had a suggestion and we decided not to curse a specific person, but rather an entire. So with this dramatic music playing underneath us in our post production edit, it will be there. What do we need to do?
Katie Nolan
Oh, Goddess Fortuna, we ask you to protect the fate of mankind and to turn the fortune of AI Cause it to slip up and fail so that it cannot harm humanity. So mote it be. So mota be. So mote it be. Do you guys want to add any words to that?
Pablo Torre
May humans masturbate the old fashioned way.
Katie Nolan
Amen. So mote it.
Pablo Torre
Beautiful.
Michael Cruz Kane
And that's beautiful.
Katie Nolan
That is beautiful.
Michael Cruz Kane
So mote it be. And you know, may humans reign over technology and not the reverse.
Pablo Torre
So mode it be.
Katie Nolan
Be. And what are we saying there? So mode.
Michael Cruz Kane
I believe it's moat and I have no answers for you on that.
Katie Nolan
Mode it be.
Michael Cruz Kane
I'm just saying whatever. Whatever that gal said, I'm going. That must be right.
Katie Nolan
So mode it.
Michael Cruz Kane
Can I also tell something else about that episode that I may have never talked to you about at the end of that episode? That witch. Yeah, not derogatory, not actually complimentary. Lexa Rosienne told us a very specific way to dispose of this that she gave us.
Pablo Torre
So we had. So she was. We. We had created a. A due to a list of ingredients. A. A witch's brew of sorts.
Michael Cruz Kane
Oh yeah. And she said this has to be disposed of, I think like at the base of a tree. And I'm leaving the studio and these guys are like, let's just pour it in the. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. So I, I ultimately did not see what happened to that stuff. But if anything goes bad with this AI, I think it's totally possible that one of these dudes just threw it on a toilet or something, you know, What?
Pablo Torre
I mean, like Ryan Cortez.
Katie Nolan
Why didn't you take it down to a tree yourself? Then you were leaving the building.
Michael Cruz Kane
I don't, I don't want to be. I don't, I didn't want.
Katie Nolan
It's already too late for that.
Michael Cruz Kane
I'm not the one.
Katie Nolan
So it be.
Michael Cruz Kane
So mode it be.
Katie Nolan
You got to take the stuff outside.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah, maybe I should have.
Pablo Torre
It had been. The mode had been already.
Katie Nolan
You guys are reckless.
Michael Cruz Kane
I'm just saying that we're gonna remember we're doing invest. Pablo will find out about that.
Pablo Torre
I, I, I, I think, I think it's working.
Michael Cruz Kane
Could be.
Pablo Torre
Or the opposite. It is hard to tell whether AI is being undermined by our spell or is taking over everything. And in fact, what sucks about all
Katie Nolan
of this all the time now is that it's either the biggest deal on earth or a bunch of nothing. Everything now is either like, wow, the President either just said he's gonna basically nuke a country, or he's just talking and nothing's gonna happen and it's just to manipulate the markets. Or it's like the entire economy is wrapped up. AI is coming. It's going to take all your jobs. Or we don't actually have the tech and they're scrambling to keep. Everything is like, I just feel like so quickly we knew what stuff was and we knew like, that is that and that's a. This is a table and it will always be a table. And I just feel like now everything is a question mark, which makes it harder to have any linear thoughts because you're like, they can't. You can't build anything on. You're both looking at me like I'm.
Michael Cruz Kane
No, no, I'm with that totally. The way that I feel the way.
Katie Nolan
No, I'm with, okay, I'm just, I'm
Michael Cruz Kane
so mot so mode it be. The way I feel in that is. I have. I was reading an article about a woman in Tehran who's talking about, like, you know how scared she is. And she's like, I think Donald Trump has lost his mind. And they're basically asking her, what are you going to do? Like, you're going to move out of Toronto? Where, like, where will you go? And she's like, I mean, what am I going to do? I'm just kind of here. Here's where I live. There's not really a place to go that feels safer than this. So this is where I'm going to be at. And that's kind of my mind. Perhaps non productively is like, well, this is. I. This, this is the world that I got.
Katie Nolan
No, I mean I've. I have been trying to make my world small, but that. It just feels very selfish. And it's also not good podcast discussion. But it's been like if this is, if this is how it's gonna be here outside, then like when I'm inside with my dog and Dan, we just like do a lot of like, I don't know, telling each other that we love each other and like hanging out with our dog and like smiling and making each other laugh.
Michael Cruz Kane
Doing puzzles.
Katie Nolan
Doing puzzles. I gave you a puzzle.
Pablo Torre
Hey, Pablo Torre here. And this episode of Pablo Torre Finds out is sponsored by NerdWallet's new podcast, Smart Travel. You may be familiar with that one friend who always finds the best travel deals, picks the right cards, somehow ends up in first class for the price of coach. Well, Smart Travel is like that friend, but in podcast form. They cover things like the quick math for knowing when to pay with points or with your card, and how to book busy season trips without the busy season sticker shock. And they don't just what to do, they explain the why behind it so you can make smarter calls the next time you're booking a flight or planning a trip. It's the kind of advice that sticks with you, not just for one trip, but for all your future ones. So whether you're planning a big vacation or just trying to stretch your travel budget a little further, Smart Travel helps you get more out of every mile, travel smarter and spend less with help from Nerd Wallet, follow Smart Travel wherever you get your podcasts and upgrade your getaways.
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Katie Nolan
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Pablo Torre
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Katie Nolan
can
Pablo Torre
I read you guys another quote from the Sam Altman story?
Michael Cruz Kane
Please do.
Pablo Torre
Because I think the whole thing of it's either the biggest thing or it's also nothing.
Katie Nolan
Yeah.
Pablo Torre
It brings us to a part of that piece which is specifically resonant to viewers of this program, perhaps people who've been watching and listening Since November of 2023 when we brought up something that I will, I will quote this article in discussing, quote it was announced that Altman had joined the advisory board for neo.
Katie Nolan
Oh boy.
Pablo Torre
A city of the future that Mohammed bin Salman hoped to build in the desert. Sam, you cannot be on this board. The policy director who now works at Anthropic recalled telling Altman and goes on to say that basically he was unconcerned with the moral consequences, mostly about whether he could get away with this stuff. Allegedly. Neom, a city of the future. Katie, do you have any brief way of explaining what NEOM was supposed to be? Supposed to be?
Katie Nolan
Okay, so when I brought it to you, it's because I had seen a commercial for it or something. Yes.
Pablo Torre
And there were commercials all the time.
Katie Nolan
It was promised as this city in the desert in Saudi Arabia, I believe.
Michael Cruz Kane
Were you over there when you saw the commercials or where were you?
Katie Nolan
Why would I have been over there?
Michael Cruz Kane
I don't know. Maybe.
Katie Nolan
No, no, no. The, it was here. It was during a sporting event, which is why I brought it to Pablo, because I was like, they advertise during sports. I do this to him a lot. I keep sending him, he gets us. I'm like, figure out who runs this, what this is.
Michael Cruz Kane
I want to know.
Katie Nolan
But the, the, this, the Neom was like, it's supposed to be like a high tech city. One of the aspects of it was something called the line, which was going to be this big, long, I don't remember how many miles a city that had like, you know, again, the outside visual of it. It just looked like a wall, but inside it was this. Obviously not real, but it was like a sprawling ecosystem with greens and a high speed train that would run from one end to another. You would live there and go down to the train and then you'd go to your job. It was a self sustaining city in the middle of a desert.
Pablo Torre
In fact. I just need to clarify, Katie, in no way Michael is exaggerating because it was advertised as this.
NerdWallet Announcer
What is Neom? This is Neom, or here to be more precise, in the northwest of Saudi Arabia. But Neom is more than a place. It's a home for people who dream big. Bigger than that. That's more like it. It'll be a hub for innovation, an entirely new model for sustainable living. The vision for a new future. In fact, that's how it got its name. But what will be there? There's Oxagon, a thriving city at the crossroads of the world where advanced manufacturing will enable industries of the future. Trojena, a year round mountain destination. Just remember to pack your skis when you visit. Or, or if skiing's not your thing, there's always Sindalah, one of Neom's many beautiful islands, perfect for some R and R. And a line. A 500 meter high, 200 meter wide, 170 kilometer long city in the shape of, well, a line. No roads, cars or emissions. And everything its 9 million residents could ever need within a five minute walk.
Katie Nolan
You know, regular stuff.
Michael Cruz Kane
I mean that's like post apocalyptic is what it feels like. It feels like this is what this.
Katie Nolan
It was sold as an investment in a different type of energy. I think it was something like they had noticed that obviously most of their wealth came from an unsustainable type of energy. And so in the. At some point they're going to have to take a step towards the future to coming up with other sorts of renewable energy sources. That's how it was sold at this point.
Pablo Torre
Yes. At this point they've abandoned.
Katie Nolan
They actually remember they said there was going to be a bunch of like world sporting events, not big ones like the Olympics or anything, but like maybe like a beach soccer tournament or something. They had given it to that fake city that wasn't even built yet. They were like, yeah, they're going to have the 2032 or something crazy. At this point I think it might just be a data center.
Pablo Torre
Yeah. So according to the Financial Times, this very ambitious project, this was one of the crown jewels of the Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. It. Yeah. Has been significantly downscaled and it is likely to be converted into a hub for data centers.
Michael Cruz Kane
Hell yeah.
Pablo Torre
Due to tightening liquidity after a decade of massive spending and subdued oil prices, which are definitely going to get better on account of us. Again, just to quote the earlier president. Yeah. The whole civilization dying tonight, never to be brought back again. Possibly.
Michael Cruz Kane
So it was, it was. It understood that the money from OpenAI would help to fund this, or there was just kind of like go over
Katie Nolan
that relationship for us again.
Pablo Torre
It was that he would be on the advisory board.
Katie Nolan
And what is that? What is that ever.
Pablo Torre
You are asking questions that I don't think Sam Altman himself necessarily as rigorously.
Katie Nolan
The blip over there at OpenAI is what they call it, right. When Sam Altman was removed because the board members decided that originally they had said that somebody of like, high moral standing would have to be in charge of what they're building. Because, listen, if you're going to build something ambitious like AI is supposed to be, it's intelligence that will exceed human capabilities. You've. It should. It has to be in the hands of somebody who can be trusted with that sort of tech. And so I think what I remember hearing is that the board agreed that he was not that guy, that he started to show signs of being concerning. He would lie a lot. He was.
Pablo Torre
He was characterized as both this very special combination of people pleaser, but guy who was lying all the time.
Katie Nolan
Right. And so it was a. Which, you know, they're not always mutually exclusive. And so it was like a. So they removed him and then through some miraculous power play, he makes his way back in. Not only that, removes the people from the board who had been initially started the moving of him. And so then he's just, you know, back.
Michael Cruz Kane
Because it seems like what. There was no catastrophic event that preceded him being removed other than people. This guy seems kind of.
Katie Nolan
We have always said that if it's a guy who seems kind of up, we should get him out and put somebody else in. Then they took action towards doing that. And then because of the effect on like markets and business going like, well, if Sam's not in charge, we don't want to be in charge. And then he got everybody to sign that, that thing that said they wanted him in charge. And then he comes back in charge and immediately goes, well, I don't want to be in charge if these people who tried to oust me are here. So I'm going to make sense, I guess. But it's also like, at what point do you go, yeah, well, that was their chance to take out the guy that wasn't right to hold the button. And now he's going to hold the button as tight as humanly possible. Um, I just. I don't know, I guess I just wished that if these evil People were going to be in charge of all this important tech. They'd at least be cool and have good taste. Taste. And they all just seem to be damp and weird.
Michael Cruz Kane
Not gonna happen for you, bro. It's not gonna work out.
Katie Nolan
None of them are ever like, whoa, at least he's cool.
Michael Cruz Kane
But I don't, I just, I guess I just don't believe. I don't believe that it's going to work. I don't believe in AI. I don't think, like, I think some. It will make some things incrementally more efficient and better in some ways. But most things, I think it's like souped up Google and that's really kind of it.
Katie Nolan
But then if that's the case, then our economy is going to crash.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah, that's what I think is gonna happen.
Katie Nolan
Either way, we're. That's my favorite part. That's what I think is cool.
Pablo Torre
I think has already been basically fundamentally replaced by AI in many key aspects. But the whole promise of what it is, it's in some ways the best advertising is the apocalypse because it's so impactful that it will create potentially the apocalypse. And what if in fact, the reality is that. Oh, no, it's just underwhelming.
Michael Cruz Kane
But the problem, even with coding, I know you're trying to move on. Even with coding.
Katie Nolan
I sense that you want to not talk about this.
Michael Cruz Kane
Even with coding. Like, someone's going to have to be. Have accountability for when the AI up the code. You know what I mean? Which it will do. It's going to make a mistake. And so what makes you think that
Katie Nolan
somebody will have to be accountable?
Michael Cruz Kane
Well, just like, who are you going to blame when the, when, when it does the. When the hospitals, all the power goes out at all the hospitals because we, you know, we let immigrants, I would
Katie Nolan
guess is who they'll blame.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah, but they're gonna.
Katie Nolan
If I had to make an educated
Michael Cruz Kane
guess, I mean, immigrants, you might be right. But it just, it feels like at some point there's going to be a human that is going to take all this for that. And it's almost. I hope it's going to be a while before it's the guy at the top. It's going to be like some dude in the middle who's like, we're going to. You're the AI. You're the overseer. And now that AI is doing coding for 7,000 projects that used to be done by 7,000 people, you're the one guy who has to oversee all 7,000 of those projects. And you can't do it. It's not possible.
Pablo Torre
As always, I want to reiterate that our house theory. Our house clubhouse leading theory.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah.
Pablo Torre
Is that AI is in fact 60 Filipino guys.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah, I. I love it. And for. And to those guys. Salama.
Pablo Torre
Yes. By the way, I. I was late in getting to this, but someone in the chat said, quote, my uncle had a wizinator that he would share and had makeup to alter it.
Katie Nolan
Wait, in case. In case what? Oh, because he would share it.
Pablo Torre
Yeah.
Katie Nolan
Yo, what?
Michael Cruz Kane
Doug, can I borrow your wizinator? That's gonna be a no. Buy your own.
Pablo Torre
We do have to get though to the aforementioned protagonist, arguably of the shows we do together. Do we have the latest from Jordan Hudson?
Katie Nolan
No. What really do we have?
Michael Cruz Kane
We have to.
Pablo Torre
Oh, no.
Katie Nolan
Who would win? Foot Race? Pablo or Jordan? Well, I've never seen her in a flat shoe. I don't think. I don't know.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah, but she's an athlete. Well, no offense to my friend, but she's. She's. She's done like a bunch of flips and I know she could do.
Katie Nolan
That's.
Michael Cruz Kane
But that's. That's genetic. It could be. That could be. There might be any muscle in there.
Pablo Torre
There.
Michael Cruz Kane
Sometimes. Sometimes the Filipino just have these secretly thick ass calves and you're like, what is that good for? And the answer is sometimes nothing.
Katie Nolan
Did you see UNC basically did it again, by the way. They hired their basketball coach, and it's a pro. A coach with pro experience and not a lot.
Pablo Torre
Michael Malone.
Katie Nolan
Don't call him.
Michael Cruz Kane
You guys heard this, right? He's dating Jordan Hudson.
Pablo Torre
Whoa.
Michael Cruz Kane
Crazy.
Katie Nolan
It all comes back to Jordan.
Pablo Torre
She is, for the record, a national champion cheerleader.
Michael Cruz Kane
I think she. I think she would stomp your ass in a race. I'm saying.
Pablo Torre
I mean, this was.
Katie Nolan
This was last month. Gold digger got paid. Hashtag pay. Hashtag Gold Digger. She has a lot in the cop in the captions. She does a lot with hashtags. She's writing in a way that, like she's got a dedic. It's almost reminds me of. God, what was that girl's name who went to those schools abroad? And she. Caroline Calloway. Yep. This. She's got a little Caroline Calloway to her, where you're just like, who's the. Who's this for?
Michael Cruz Kane
What did she.
Cletus (Caller)
What.
Michael Cruz Kane
What were we. What were we. What did she win? What was it?
Cletus
The.
Katie Nolan
The Gold Digger.
Michael Cruz Kane
That can't be.
Katie Nolan
I have no idea. But that's. You look to the caption to go. What was the name of the event? Just find Pablo's name.
Pablo Torre
And she won the National Cheerleading Championship for adults.
Katie Nolan
That can't be what it's called.
Michael Cruz Kane
Hell yeah. The NCCFA National Cheerleading Championship for adults. Gotta be ones of contestants in that.
Pablo Torre
Her cheerleading squad is named Code Black. And yeah, it's a National Cheerleading Championship. Guys.
Michael Cruz Kane
I don't know.
Katie Nolan
I know it's a complicated. I don't have any issue with her doing this. This is great.
Michael Cruz Kane
I would like to see that race, though. I would pay for the race.
Katie Nolan
I think she would win.
Michael Cruz Kane
I do think she's. No offense to you is.
Katie Nolan
You know, I know there's a question mark and a. And a shroud of secrecy around. I do think she is younger than you. I know. At least she's younger than you.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah. And she's gonna be. She's gonna be full body fitness. She's probably running every day.
Katie Nolan
She's been working out. You walk home, which is a. I
Pablo Torre
do love a walk.
Michael Cruz Kane
You could. You might be here on a walk if we said, look, you got. Who's gonna walk the furthest? I bet you would walk farther.
Katie Nolan
Yeah.
Pablo Torre
Can we turn our attention to the other person that we've been looking into at North Carolina?
Michael Cruz Kane
Of course.
Pablo Torre
Of course. General manager.
Katie Nolan
Oh, Jesus.
Pablo Torre
Michael Lombardi.
Katie Nolan
What do we got on him?
Pablo Torre
So I want to shout out, FOIA Ball, this is David Cavucci.
Katie Nolan
Good fellows.
Pablo Torre
His Italianness has been officially called into question because this is how he tweets about. About the movie Goodfellas.
Katie Nolan
Goodfellows.
Pablo Torre
That's crazy.
Katie Nolan
Made me want to watch Goodfellows.
Michael Cruz Kane
Now it is crazy to call it
Katie Nolan
need to watch Goodfellows. What was he. What it. What in what world were Peter Schrager and Kay Adams talking to each other in December of 2016? And Lombardi came swooping in. Oh, was he at Fox at the time?
Michael Cruz Kane
You gotta chime in. You need to watch Goodfellows.
Katie Nolan
That's absurd. I. That guy is not on earth.
Pablo Torre
There is more.
Katie Nolan
Great.
Michael Cruz Kane
Good.
Katie Nolan
Love that scene. Ironic that Chris gets shot in the foot in Goodfellows and turns tables in Sopranos. You watch K. All right, dude. There was a character limit, but that wasn't it. He had room to. To speak in a understandable way.
Michael Cruz Kane
If you haven't seen the Goodfellows, I think you might enjoy my cousin Vincent. It's also supposed to be a pretty good flick.
Pablo Torre
There is more.
Michael Cruz Kane
He can't keep saying Goodfellows, much like
Katie Nolan
in the movie Diner. Femi is going to have to pass a test before we commence. Not the Colts test, rather a sopranos. Godfather, Goodfellows, JFK1. He can do it, right, Femi? I don't know. I don't know.
Michael Cruz Kane
This was in 22 Good Fellows. That should be illegal, by the way. This is only an opportunity for me to say on the side that I think. Think that Joe Pesci is the greatest actor of all time.
Katie Nolan
Great.
Michael Cruz Kane
Not a bit. I think he's the best.
Katie Nolan
Cool.
Michael Cruz Kane
Number one. Dave could never.
Pablo Torre
Because of which role.
Michael Cruz Kane
Okay, we got. You got all. All the movies that that guy doesn't know the name of.
Pablo Torre
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Michael Cruz Kane
Then you got Home Alone. Then you got my cousin Vinnie.
Katie Nolan
Yeah.
Michael Cruz Kane
This guy's doing. Look, and I know he's playing a similar character in all these movies, but are you gonna get my cousin Vinnie Laughs and you're gonna get Casino out of the same guy?
Katie Nolan
Yeah, yeah.
Michael Cruz Kane
Robert De Niro's trying. Roberto's tried his whole life to get my cousin Vinnie. He can't do it. He can't do it. He's great, but he can't do it.
Pablo Torre
I feel like Michael Lombardi. We need to devote an entire episode to that.
Katie Nolan
Goodfellows.
Pablo Torre
To the fact that he's finding out why he said that he's Italian.
Katie Nolan
Wait, so did you say. Didn't you find something out about his last name in your findings? Out.
Pablo Torre
Well, it has been previously reported that he appreciates or benefits from the fact that people think he's related to Vince Lombardi.
Katie Nolan
Is his real last name that actual
Michael Cruz Kane
last year was like, Michael.
Katie Nolan
No.
Michael Cruz Kane
Oh, Lombardowitz.
Katie Nolan
Yeah.
Pablo Torre
Or it's like he's the good fellows of.
Michael Cruz Kane
Made him Irish and Jewish at the same time.
Katie Nolan
Perfect. Didn't like. Didn't Joe Theisman change the way you say his name to. Because he won.
Cletus
Right.
Pablo Torre
So Joe Theisman, former quarterback.
Michael Cruz Kane
You gotta tell me.
Katie Nolan
Yeah. He knows that.
Michael Cruz Kane
Grizzly. Grizzly leg accident from the. From lt. Right? There's an LT Heard.
Pablo Torre
Did Lawrence Taylor.
Katie Nolan
I think so.
Michael Cruz Kane
Chatter oh, look who's. Look who's telling who what now.
Katie Nolan
Yeah.
Pablo Torre
North Carolina alum Lawrence Taylor.
Katie Nolan
Bringing it all back full circle giveaway.
Michael Cruz Kane
The. The story is that Joe Theisman.
Katie Nolan
It was how you're supposed to say
Michael Cruz Kane
it, but he changed Theisman because it rhymed with.
Pablo Torre
Heisman's doing a Heisman campaign.
Michael Cruz Kane
Wow. Okay.
Pablo Torre
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Michael Cruz Kane
Did he win the Heisman?
Katie Nolan
No, I don't think so.
Michael Cruz Kane
Would that work, do you think, if I change my last name to, like, Moscar or something?
Katie Nolan
Let's find out.
Michael Cruz Kane
So I could win an Oscar. Michael. Michael.
Katie Nolan
Michael Cruz. Moscar.
Michael Cruz Kane
Michael Cruz Moscar.
Katie Nolan
Okay, yeah, I'll try it.
Michael Cruz Kane
If it worked. But if it didn't work for him, I'm not doing it. But if it did work for him,
Pablo Torre
it didn't work, then I would.
Katie Nolan
That's why it's funny.
Michael Cruz Kane
Ladies and gentlemen, Pablo Flobell Prize. Something like that.
Katie Nolan
It worked. Pablo would have done it by now.
Pablo Torre
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Katie Nolan
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Pablo Torre
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Fresh air, longer days, a chance to reset. This season, let therapy be part of your spring cleaning. Clearing mental clutter, shaking off stuckness, and building something better. Grow Therapy helps you get there. Whether it's your first time in therapy or your 50th. Grow makes it easier to find a therapist who fits you, not the other way around. You can search by what matters like insurance, specialty, identity or availability and get started in as little as two days. And if something comes up, you can Cancel up to 24 hours in advance at no cost. Grow helps you find therapy on your time. Whatever challenges you're facing. Grow Therapy is here to help grow. Accepts over 100 insurance plans. Sessions average about $21 with insurance and some pay as little as $0 depending on their plan. Visit growththerapy.com start now today to get started, that's growtherapy.com start now growtherapy.com start now availability and coverage vary and insurance plan.
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Michael Cruz Kane
It's true.
Pablo Torre
We're getting incoming interest in another familiar character on this program.
Michael Cruz Kane
Wonderful. It's the greatest hits.
Katie Nolan
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Michael Cruz Kane
No specific question, but I hope you guys dial in Cletus. What's up with. What's up with Cleus? I love Cletus.
Katie Nolan
Not the robot from Fox NFL season Sunday?
Pablo Torre
Yes. Not former Michael Colleague, that is.
Katie Nolan
Yes, that is. And you should have heard those two in the getting coffee in the break room. But that's spelled like cleat. And this Cletus is.
Michael Cruz Kane
It would be forgivable if Cletus the robot thought the movie was called Goodfellows. Yeah, that would be allowed. Oh, that would make sense.
Pablo Torre
Even Cletus. This Cletus has been leaving us voicemails.
Michael Cruz Kane
Our Cletus.
Pablo Torre
Our Cletus has been leaving us voicemails all year.
Katie Nolan
Yes.
Cletus (Caller)
Hey, Pablo, this is Cletus in Navarre, Florida. Man, I was just wondering something after watching the TV a lot, and I know the stuff. Why do women shave their underarms? And why are they. Is that a societal thing? Or is that men forcing them to. Or is that women just liking to do that? It seems like it's bad for them. Like, there's a lot of pores and stuff. And. And I just wonder if that's like a societal thing. And should we not act like that's gross when men don't do that? And I mean, I don't know, it just seems like it's kind of backwards. And of course, I'm married and all that. My wife, of course, does, but I just wouldn't want her feeling like she has to for me because I don't really think I'd care. But it seems kind of selfish if that's what society is putting on women. Make them do it where it seems like it could actually have adverse effects on the health and Maybe we should give the women a break and just let them be, you know, so I'll hang up and listen and I.
Michael Cruz Kane
He's having a feminist awakening every single day. Like he is sitting in Navarre, Florida by like a. A swamp. They have swamps. What's that there? Let's say swamp. Like reading the Feminist Mystique or whatever he's reading.
Pablo Torre
He's reading bell hooks.
Katie Nolan
Another thing.
Michael Cruz Kane
Yeah, here's another one.
Pablo Torre
Do you remember what Cletus does?
Katie Nolan
He takes the cooking oil used cooking oil from restaurants and gathers it and sells it to people and they turn it into fuel or something.
Pablo Torre
A job that was last.
Katie Nolan
Cletus, that was pretty.
Pablo Torre
No, but I think that's right. It's. It's the job that was last in the news because of another Fox colleague of Got. Oh yeah, the robot Mark Sanchez, who got in a fight with that guy who was doing that in.
Katie Nolan
Whatever came of that. I don't know.
Pablo Torre
Our investigation into that continues, I suppose. Well, I suppose I do like that Cletus is married and is like. Let me ask Katie. Let me, let me ask Katie.
Katie Nolan
You think that was for me?
Pablo Torre
I think that was. Excuse me.
Katie Nolan
He says hello, Pablo.
Pablo Torre
No, but I think he knows that you're our in house woman.
Katie Nolan
Girl.
Pablo Torre
O'.
Michael Cruz Kane
Neal.
Katie Nolan
Actually, just let me check and make sure I'm even on the. Yeah, there's. They're mostly shaved. I. I think it's. I think it's societal. Yeah, it's like a. It was seen as like a beauty standard thing. And look, you cannot. You can choose to not. But almost every time someone notices that a woman doesn't, it becomes the like leading headline about hers that shave her armpits.
Michael Cruz Kane
Is it. Doesn't it feel like it was maybe. I'm not sure if I know this or if I'm feeling it.
Cletus
It.
Michael Cruz Kane
But that it's like a Gillette thing that gillette and like whatever.
Katie Nolan
19 the same way with like diamond rings and engagement. The way they like tied it.
Michael Cruz Kane
They were just like, if you don't do this, you're disgusting. I was like, we were never doing this before.
Katie Nolan
I believe it. I. This is. I got less of a problem with this. It's these I want to talk about. This is. No, your full leg. It's so much. It's 50 of your body and we're supposed to shave it all the time. It's just. This is like whoop, whoop, done. Whoop, whoop, done.
Michael Cruz Kane
That's the sound you make when you do it. Right.
Katie Nolan
Yeah, this is. This takes A lot of time. And it's all of your skin. So if you have like, sensitive skin, you're dragging. Imagine if you had to do your face, but it was your whole. It would be bottom half.
Michael Cruz Kane
Although I would say, as my particular genetic makeup makes it so I don't actually have that much hair. So. But for, But I understand what you're getting at.
Pablo Torre
Oh, I got, I, I, I, I'm, I'm a centaur.
Katie Nolan
What's that smooth up top?
Pablo Torre
Yeah. But down below it's.
Katie Nolan
I'm Italian, so I am entirely covered in hair. In fact, parts of me that seem like they're not. It's because we were early adopters to laser hair removal technology. My mom had a friend who was practicing. I was like 12, and she was like, let her zap.
Pablo Torre
Katie Nolan was in the Weapon X program for laser hair removal.
Katie Nolan
It hurt.
Michael Cruz Kane
My friend is pra. That's not a practice situation.
Katie Nolan
And they put numbing cream on it and it did not work. I got blasted most of my spots and it's all. I'm so hairy. It has fought back and I'm. And it's coming back.
Michael Cruz Kane
Sweetie, let Linda practice with the laser on your face.
Katie Nolan
It was, yeah, technology, Killer healing factor.
Michael Cruz Kane
You're running around the house, hiding behind the couch, and she's like trying to shoot lasers at you.
Katie Nolan
That was it. That was mostly it. It hurts so bad.
Pablo Torre
We do have another follow up inquiry along these lines.
Katie Nolan
Please, please, I only want to talk to Cletus.
Cletus (Caller)
Hey, Pablo, this is Cletus from Navarre, Florida. I was watching the TV the other night and I was just wondering, are women more constipated than men? If I ain't seen one, men constipation commercial. But we got all these women on the TV commercial talking about how they're constipated. And here's what you should take for it. And I'm just wondering if this is our fault, you know, like, is this a recent problem or is this men making women more constipated by putting pressure on them or I don't know what's going on, but I appreciate you for finding out for me. All right,
Michael Cruz Kane
now that's not a phenomenon I'm even aware of.
Katie Nolan
Me neither. It sounds like a woke way to ask if women are full of.
Michael Cruz Kane
I have, I have seen, I think a commercial, but I don't remember if it's a man or a woman getting into a hot tub. They're getting into a hot tub where there's a bunch of like, attractive, other people in the hot tub with them. And they're kind of like, ooh, I can finally get in here. Because I'm not worried about taking a. I. I just took a look. You guys know what I'm talking about.
Katie Nolan
No, but I believe you. It's not your fault that it's weird. I've. You seen the cologuard one where the two women are like, like hitting on the anthropomorphic box that you're supposed to put your in to send off to this company? It makes. No, the thing's mowing the lawn and they're basically going like, wait, the box is mowing the lawn that you put your in. Why are you hitting on it sexually?
Pablo Torre
This is the non invasive prescription at home stool DNA test.
Katie Nolan
How you're like, what is even the messaging here where she's like, I love the way it does your yard work. The box of what are we talking about? Out. But do women get constipated more than men? Was the question. Yeah, and I, I don't.
Pablo Torre
I do like that Cletus is turning to us and not Claude or Chat. GPT.
Katie Nolan
Well, he's.
Michael Cruz Kane
He's just. He's looking at the world through a critical lens that maybe he's been, you know, awakened in some way and he's like, wait, hang on a second. Why are we. What. It's like. What is it called? Pink Tax. Pink tax.
Katie Nolan
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Michael Cruz Kane
Like everything. All the, all the products that are both men and women use if they're designed for women, it's like, like, oh, this is a little more. Why is a woman's razor cost more than a men's razor? What's going on there? That's Cletus. I bet. I bet you there's one of those.
Katie Nolan
I can't wait until Cletus, see, asks us why they only use blue liquid in period commercials when they.
Michael Cruz Kane
I bet that's a fair question because what the.
Katie Nolan
I remember it was like, revolutionary. A while ago, somebody, like, used a different. I don't even think it. They used red.
Michael Cruz Kane
They used a different color.
Katie Nolan
And people were like, what?
Michael Cruz Kane
The scientists ran screaming from the room.
Katie Nolan
Oh, wait, it's red like that. Like, yeah, dude, it's red like that. It's also got chunks in it. What were you saying?
Michael Cruz Kane
Oh. Ladies and gentlemen, this segment brought to you by Ch.
Katie Nolan
Grow up. We've had to deal with it our whole lives. You think we aren't horrified the first time we see that we're in middle school is already not going great for us. Okay? And then One day you go, I'm falling out of me. What was the other stuff you had anyway?
Pablo Torre
You were going to say I'm falling out of me. Let's go.
Katie Nolan
Everything is a nightmare. Life is just constantly going about something or another thing.
Pablo Torre
I.
Michael Cruz Kane
Or a third thing.
Pablo Torre
Hold on, let me just see.
Katie Nolan
Important to know. Are you calling Cletus? He always just springs this on us.
Michael Cruz Kane
It'd be funny if he's not calling
Katie Nolan
Cletus, put on speakerphone. It doesn't sound like it's on speakerphone to me. We can't hear that.
Michael Cruz Kane
You don't hear on the microphone?
Katie Nolan
No. Take the. Unplug it and push it into the mic.
Pablo Torre
Cletus, can you hear me as well as Katie Nolan, as well as Michael Cruz Kane?
Michael Cruz Kane
Hi, Cletus.
Katie Nolan
We're good. Cletus, we. We miss you. Hell yeah.
Cletus
Yeah, I had a. I had a little brief sin of fame in the panhandle.
Katie Nolan
That's right. I think it's still going.
Michael Cruz Kane
You're famous to us still. We listened to a couple of your messages just now.
Cletus
Uhoh.
Katie Nolan
Uhoh.
Pablo Torre
Cleus, can you paint the picture of where you are right now as you continue to be our Florida Panhandle correspondent?
Cletus
I'm on the Florida Panhandle taking. Taking a grease container to somebody and trying to figure out what I'm gonna cook dinner for my wife tonight.
Katie Nolan
Hell yeah. What are the options?
Cletus
I don't know. I mean, I'm probably gonna do like a Greek bowl, saute some chicken breast and do some Greek rice and put some avocados, some feta cheese, some olives, tomatoes, cucumber, and green onion, and put some pepperoncinis on top of it. Call it a meal.
Katie Nolan
Yum.
Michael Cruz Kane
That sounds very healthy. Can I ask a question? My question for you, Cletus, is what's the division of dinner preparation in your home? What percent of the time are you doing it and what percent of the time is she doing it?
Cletus
Well, my wife works harder than I do, so I try to do most of the cooking because although she's a great cook, I just. Just try to make it easier on her.
Pablo Torre
She's a. She's a nurse, right, Cletus? She's a nurse.
Cletus
Well, she's a director of nursing, but yeah, she wasn't. She's still a nurse at heart, but yeah. And I'm a chef. In a former life. We used to own restaurants in Alabama, and I'm. I'm a certified chef, so she lets me do it because I enjoy it. She. She. She cooks and it's great, but she doesn't enjoy it. So.
Michael Cruz Kane
My wife is a nurse also, Cletus. And I know that. I know the grind. So I'm also used to getting food on the table for my wife, who works much harder than me. Respect.
Katie Nolan
You're just saying what he said.
Cletus
Nurses. I don't. Nurses get the whole first responder discounts that everybody else.
Katie Nolan
Yeah.
Cletus
Saves lives, kids.
Katie Nolan
Yeah, I wonder about that. When I was banging my pot and pan during the pandemic. That was exclusively for nurses. That's who I was thinking of when I was leaning out my window.
Cletus
Exactly. We just forgot about them now.
Katie Nolan
Yeah, that sucks.
Cletus
My wife's a. She's a really hard, hard worker and she's very dedicated.
Pablo Torre
Well, Cletus, Cletus, we love. We love. We love that you continue to embody what it means to be the ideal spouse of a Filipino person and.
Cletus
Well, actually my wife's not Filipino.
Katie Nolan
Well, she's a nurse. So technically I think my son in
Cletus
law is Filipino and my daughter is married to him and his family's Filipino.
Katie Nolan
Ah, okay.
Cletus
And you know, y' all call on birthdays. It's weird.
Katie Nolan
Whose birthday?
Pablo Torre
Whose birthday?
Cletus
And it's my. It's my grandson Eli's too today.
Pablo Torre
Oh, Eli.
Katie Nolan
Happy birthday, Eli.
Michael Cruz Kane
Happy birthday, Eli.
Cletus
Why Elijah Garcia? We're going to teach him how to play basketball or something where he can be on the Filipino national team.
Pablo Torre
Yes.
Cletus
You don't have to be that good.
Pablo Torre
You don't even need to. You don't even need to be Filipino. The Philippines made Andre Blatch former Washington
Michael Cruz Kane
Wizards center isn't JaVale McGee on the Filipino national team.
Pablo Torre
We passed legislation to make those guys members of the national team.
Cletus
Well, I'm just. I'm hoping Eli like catches the spirit of the Olympics and maybe. I don't know what we'll train him to do, but I just want to go to the Olympics and represent the Philippines.
Pablo Torre
I. I would love nothing more than that. Cletus, Cletus. You know, it also occurs to me that in your capacity as professional guy who deals with oil, you're also now are oil correspondent. How do you feel about potentially the end of the world tonight at 8pm Eastern?
Cletus
Yeah. It's been on my mind two days now and we have a madman as a president. Although I didn't vote for it. There's a lot of people down here that did. We just went to Disney World this past week celebrate my grandson's two year old birthday and. And I didn't see one Make a great America great again. Ad. Where have they gone? Well, I mean, is it. They're embarrassed, they lose their hats on the panhandle. We're. It's pretty red down here and everybody is just kind of pretend like they ain't got a part of this now. And I won't let them forget. You know, I just. I'm still a conservative person as far as money, but as far as everything else, I say live and let live. And you should just love your fellow human being. And I just don't know what's happened to these people. They've just. I mean, you know, when you elect a madman, you gotta stick with it and go down with the ship. They're not doing it. And I'm. I have a feeling he's gonna taco out tonight.
Michael Cruz Kane
But I hope he does.
Cletus
I do too. I mean, I just. I met all the awful stuff he says. Awful? Like only a crazy person. He's already crazy. But this stuff is 25th amendment worthy to me. And. And I just. I would. Pablo, I swear, you'd be such a good President of the United States.
Katie Nolan
Chill out, Cletus.
Michael Cruz Kane
We just started the committee to elect Pablo president. It started right.
Katie Nolan
I can't. I can't. I was with you the whole time. I can't let you do this.
Michael Cruz Kane
It's either Pablo or Stephen A. Smith. Those are your two choices. That's who you get.
Cletus
I just. Katie. I mean, you have a cabinet position.
Katie Nolan
Yes, that's not a good idea either.
Pablo Torre
Secretary of chicks.
Katie Nolan
Jesus Christ.
Cletus
Secretary of Coolness.
Katie Nolan
Hell yeah.
Michael Cruz Kane
Secretary of Coolness. We create a new cabinet position.
Pablo Torre
Cletus, I should have. I should have told you that you're currently live. Oh yeah. On air. But I also. Very good. Legally cleared that hurdle. And also thank you for providing us a note of. For me personal hopefulness that I didn't have when we started the show is true. And we love you, Cletus.
Michael Cruz Kane
Thank you, Cletus.
Pablo Torre
Happy birthday to Eli. And thank you. Thank you for your endorsement. I do approve this message.
Katie Nolan
Don't that part. No, but the rest of it. Yes.
Cletus
Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'm always here for you, Pablo. I mean, always.
Katie Nolan
Oh yeah.
Cletus
I enjoy. I. I listen to Katie show. I mean, Cletus, it's all good. And Katie, like when you first started on Levitard, I was like, oh my God, she is so funny.
Cletus (Caller)
I get.
Pablo Torre
I think we probably wrap it up now though.
Katie Nolan
We got the end music. The end music.
Pablo Torre
End music.
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Pablo Torre
This has been Pablo Torre finds out a meadowlark Media Production and I'll talk to you next time.
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Cletus
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Katie Nolan
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Katie Nolan
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Pablo Torre Finds Out
The Athletic | April 8, 2026
Episode: "Perhaps Our Last Hour on Earth," with Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kane
In the episode "Perhaps Our Last Hour on Earth," Pablo Torre is joined by recurring friends of the show—Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kane—for an irreverent, wide-ranging conversation that oscillates between genuine anxiety about current world events and the comforting absurdities of pop culture, personal anecdotes, and light-hearted community interaction. The discussion opens against the backdrop of an alarming social media post from the President, hinting at a possible world-ending event that sets a tone of gallows humor and existential dread. Despite—or because of—this, the trio leans into chaos, cracking jokes, poking fun at each other, fielding community questions, and dialing up their podcast’s unique brand of “Fs Around” energy.
Timestamps: 03:13–07:06
“I feel like crushed under the weight of, like, I... We... We got to do something, probably, but I don't know what it is.” (06:08, Nolan)
"I don't want to spend the last hour on Earth talking about how we need to improve." (06:37, Torre)
Timestamps: 03:14–04:47; 19:01–19:15
Timestamps: 04:00–04:31; 13:38–14:05
Timestamps: 12:06–15:26
Timestamps: 16:12–38:30
“I think there's a small but real chance he's eventually remembered as a Bernie Madoff or Sam Bankman-Fried level scammer.” (22:08, cited New Yorker article)
“NEOM was like, supposed to be a high-tech city... The Line, this big long... not real, but it was like a sprawling ecosystem.” (31:51, Nolan)
Timestamps: 26:01–38:30
“The best advertising is the apocalypse... What if, in fact, the reality is that—oh no, it’s just underwhelming.” (37:56, Torre)
“Our house theory is that AI is, in fact, 60 Filipino guys.” (39:15, Torre)
Timestamps: 39:42–46:10
Timestamps: 48:49–65:01
“We just went to Disney World... I didn't see one 'Make America Great Again' ad... Is it—they're embarrassed, they lose their hats on the panhandle?” (62:27, Cletus)
“A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again... maybe something revolutionarily wonderful can happen.” (05:08, reading social post)
“I feel like crushed under the weight of... I think we gotta do something… but I don’t know what it is.” (06:08, Nolan)
“At this point, I think it might just be a data center.” (34:12, Nolan)
“Everything now is either the biggest deal on earth or a bunch of nothing. Everything is a question mark.” (26:01, Nolan)
“I just don’t believe that it’s going to work. I don’t believe in AI... I think it’s souped-up Google and that’s really kind of it." (37:33, Cruz Kane)
"His Italianness has been officially called into question because this is how he tweets about Goodfellas… Goodfellows!” (42:32, Torre)
"I do love a walk.” (42:11, Torre)
“Why do women shave their underarms?... I just wouldn't want her feeling like she has to for me...” (49:32, Cletus)
“I just... you should just love your fellow human being. I just don't know what's happened to these people... I just have a feeling he's gonna taco out tonight.” (62:27, Cletus) “Pablo, I swear, you'd be such a good President of the United States.” (64:05, Cletus)
This episode is a quintessential example of PTFO’s “talkumentary” style: simultaneously addressing the very real feeling of global chaos and existential worry—whether from the news or tech world—while also poking meta-fun at themselves, their community, and culture at large. If you want to hear gallows humor about the apocalypse, debates about whether AI is a scam or a revolution, reminiscence about prosthetic penises, a live voicemail-driven Q&A about women’s shaving and digestive health, and the warm glow of internet friendship in “our last hour on earth,” this is a can’t-miss episode.
“Perhaps Our Last Hour on Earth” is less a breakdown than a breakdown—by design, and joyfully so.