PTFO Smell Test: Celebrity & Athlete Fragrances, (Blindly) Reviewed

Summary

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Pablo Torre Finds Out – Episode Summary

Episode Title: PTFO Smell Test: Celebrity & Athlete Fragrances, (Blindly) Reviewed
Date: January 14, 2025
Host: Pablo Torre
Guests: Katie Nolan, Lawrence Schlossman

Overview

In this lively episode, Pablo Torre, Katie Nolan, and Lawrence Schlossman embark on the "PTFO Smell Test," a blind, unsponsored review of 11 celebrity and athlete fragrances. With no knowledge of the brands or stars behind each scent, the trio explores the world of vanity colognes and perfumes, sharing candid reactions, humor, and cultural insights. The episode continues a trilogy of lighthearted product tests, following previous experiments with athlete alcohol and cannabis, and aims to inform (or warn) listeners ahead of Valentine’s Day gifting season.

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Key Discussion Points & Fragrance Reviews

1. Setting the Stage

• Context: Pablo summarizes the trilogy: athlete booze, then weed, now fragrances.
• Participants: Pablo, Katie, and Lawrence (the latter admitted “men’s lifestyle expert” and Throwing Fits podcaster).
• Method: Blind smell test using pre-sprayed paper strips, only revealing the celebrity or athlete after a group sniff and discussion ([06:00]).

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2. The Fragrance Gauntlet

Each fragrance is introduced by number, followed by blind, gut reactions and personality-imaginings.

Fragrance 1 – Michael Jordan’s Cologne ([07:45])

• Impressions: "Smells like my dad. 30 years." – Katie ([07:45])
• “Suppressed emotional accessibility ... aftershave aspect ... a man I once imagined I would be.” – Pablo ([08:03])
• “Unrequited love and affection … new money.” – Lawrence ([08:08])
• Reveal: Michael Jordan by Michael Jordan.
• Price: $21.36
• Consensus: It smells better than expected at first, then “Kroger’s cologne” when they learn how cheap it is.

Fragrance 2 – Chris Paul’s Avon Untouchable ([12:27])

• Impressions: “Very sweet … definitely more feminine.” – Katie & Lawrence ([12:39])
• “Like a ‘sophomore semi-formal’ sort of perfume from a magazine ad.” – Pablo ([13:08])
• Reveal: Chris Paul, Avon Untouchable; green liquid, odd design.
• Price: $28.99
• Consensus: Not much better than it looks.

Fragrance 3 – Britney Spears Curious ([15:36])

• Impressions: “Scented marker from elementary school … for a great aunt … very older woman.” – Katie ([15:50])
• “If this is a cologne, I’ll eat my hat.” – Katie ([16:39])
• Reveal: Britney Spears Curious (not her “love” version, Katie’s favorite).
• Price: $16.74
• Consensus: Nostalgic, childish, more novelty than allure.

Fragrance 4 – Cristiano Ronaldo CR7 Origins ([20:25])

• Impressions: “Whoa ... gasoline … crypto … this guy owns NFTs.” – Pablo & Katie ([20:41])
• “He still owns apes. Diamond hands unironically.” – Pablo ([21:00])
• Reveal: Cristiano Ronaldo, CR7 Origins.
• Price: $25.00
• Consensus: Unpleasant; “send this perfumier to The Hague.” – Lawrence ([22:39])

Fragrance 5 – David Beckham Instinct ([23:23])

• Impressions: “Cinnamon, spice … all spice … posh spice.” – Katie ([23:23])
• “A chance you’re taking – going out as someone else for the night.” – Pablo ([24:17])
• “Tasteful, posh … cool bottle … Tom Ford vibes.” – All ([25:25])
• Reveal: David Beckham, Instinct.
• Price: $19.20
• Consensus: Favorite so far; “best 19 you’ve ever spent.” – Lawrence ([27:22])

Fragrance 6 – Tom Brady x Stetson ([27:51])

• Impressions: “Shoulder pads … woman wearing a suit for the first time.” – Katie ([28:34])
• “Musky, filth … like a meerkat popping back down its burrow.” – Pablo ([28:14])
• “Original Stetson, the legendary fragrance of the American West.” – Katie (reading) ([29:21])
• Reveal: Tom Brady x Stetson
• Price: $30.47 (most expensive so far)
• Consensus: Odd, “the first lady” of the lineup.

Fragrance 7 – Jennifer Lopez Still ([31:57])

• Impressions: “Light, floral, fruity … very beautiful, delicate … can’t make eye contact with Pablo while he’s enjoying it.” – Katie ([32:03])
• “This is what a celebrity smells like … called ‘still’.” – Pablo ([33:02])
• Reveal: Jennifer Lopez, Still
• Price: $26.23
• Consensus: Aspirational, delicate, a “winner” for all.

Fragrance 8 – Will Levis Parfum de Mayonnaise (Hellman’s) ([34:33])

• Impressions: “Smells like a hotel lobby … soapy in a bad way … impossible to find.” – Lawrence & Pablo ([34:33])
• “Will Levis Number Eight – Hellman’s Parfum de Mayonnaise. Yo, they killed it.” – Lawrence ([34:48])
• Notes: Creamy, daring mayonnaise accord, parsley, coffee undertones; promotional/novelty product.
• Consensus: "Had no business trying as hard as it did." – Katie ([36:44])

Fragrance 9 – Derek Jeter Driven (Sample) ([37:16])

• Impressions: “Very delicate, platonic ideal of perfume, centrist … like perfume via algorithm.” – Pablo & Lawrence ([37:21])
• “Driven by Derek Jeter … Captain Boring.” – Pablo ([38:16])
• Consensus: Generic, "not my cup of tea."

Fragrance 10 – Taylor Swift Wonderstruck ([39:26])

• Impressions: “Juicy, fruity, bubble gum, bath & body works, for little girls.” – All ([39:30])
• “You should be on a watchlist if you wear this and you’re not 14.” – Pablo ([40:03])
• “Does Taylor Swift smell like this? Hell no.” – Pablo ([41:23])
• Price: $59.99 for travel size – “the most expensive per ounce.”
• Consensus: Egregiously overpriced party-favor for tweens.

Fragrance 11 – Donald Trump Fight, Fight, Fight ([42:51])

• Impressions: “Spearmint … Vietnam vet … like a VFW hall … alluring, potent, a ‘work of an old man’.” – All ([42:57])
• “Snake oil salesman … sticker slapped on a black bottle.” – Katie ([44:44])
• Marketing: Associated with Trump’s 2024 campaign.
• Price: $199 (retail), $216.67 paid by producers ([46:14])
• Consensus: Better than expected considering branding, but "the most embarrassing $200 we’ve spent." – Pablo ([46:11])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Michael Jordan’s Cologne:

  • "Suppressed emotional accessibility… a man I once imagined I would be one day." — Pablo ([08:03])

• On Cristiano Ronaldo’s Fragrance:

  • “Dude, that is fragrance imitating life.” — Lawrence ([22:29])
  • “Send this perfumier to The Hague.” — Lawrence ([22:39])

• On JLO Still:

  • “She did it again.” — Pablo ([33:37])
  • "Very beautiful. Very delicate. That's why you can't make eye contact." – Katie ([33:18])

• On Will Levis’ Mayo Perfume:

  • "Had no business trying as hard as it did." — Katie ([36:44])
  • "Creamy, daring mayonnaise accord. Like it's the Geneva ones." — Pablo ([35:36])

• On Taylor Swift Wonderstruck:

  • "That’s egregious… only for little girls." — Lawrence ([42:30])
  • “How dare you underestimate… Taylor Swift.” — Pablo ([42:17])

• On Trump’s Fight, Fight, Fight:

  • "This is the work of an old man… is it snake oil? Is it penicillin?" — Lawrence ([44:28])
  • "Most embarrassing $200 we’ve spent.” — Pablo ([46:11])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [06:00] – Testing & Method Explained
• [07:45] – 1. Michael Jordan
• [12:27] – 2. Chris Paul (Avon Untouchable)
• [15:36] – 3. Britney Spears Curious
• [20:25] – 4. Cristiano Ronaldo CR7 Origins
• [23:23] – 5. David Beckham Instinct
• [27:51] – 6. Tom Brady x Stetson
• [31:57] – 7. Jennifer Lopez Still
• [34:33] – 8. Will Levis x Hellman's
• [37:16] – 9. Derek Jeter Driven
• [39:26] – 10. Taylor Swift Wonderstruck
• [42:51] – 11. Trump Fight Fight Fight
• [47:02] – Reflections and Final Rankings

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Final Rankings, Recap & Takeaways

• Winners:
  • David Beckham “Instinct”: Tasteful, nuanced, “best man and value.”
  • Jennifer Lopez “Still”: Elegant, universally liked.
• Surprises:
  • Trump “Fight Fight Fight”: Actually not terrible for a “snake oil” product, though absurdly expensive.
  • Will Levis “Parfum de Mayonnaise”: Shockingly competent for a joke scent.
• Disappointments:
  • Cristiano Ronaldo CR7: Overpowering, “gasoline.”
  • Taylor Swift Wonderstruck: Cloying, “egregiously” overpriced for a tween product.
• Running Theme:
  • Price and quality often diverge wildly.
• Parting Thoughts:
  • “Nose don’t lie. Trump got one.” – Lawrence ([48:47])
  • “Never trust the producers of this show.” – Pablo ([48:40])
  • The real winners: JLO, Beckham, and, bizarrely, Trump fragrances (against expectations).

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode:
This episode delivers a hilarious, candid exploration of the odd world of celebrity and athlete fragrances—from legit bargain gems to overpriced novelty bottles and scandalous self-promotion. The commentary oscillates between playful roasting, praise, and the genuine confusion celebrity branding often creates. David Beckham’s “Instinct” and Jennifer Lopez’s “Still” emerge as clear favorites for balance and value, while Taylor Swift’s and Trump’s offerings exemplify price insanity and shameless marketing, respectively.

Memorable for its laughter, creative analogies, and the surprising calibration of the hosts’ noses.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out. I am Pablo Torre. And today we're gonna find out what this sound is.

[B]

It's fruity in the back. You get that like apple.

[C]

What'd you say?

[B]

It's fruity in the back.

[A]

Fruity in the back it is.

[B]

Guys, grow up.

[A]

It's fruity in the back right after this ad.

[B]

You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network. Now, when we did the drinking based podcast, we had a drinks expert. Do you smell for a living?

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay, well, I don't know about cologne.

[C]

Well, I know about Jeremy fragrance.

[A]

That's not true. Lawrence is underselling his credentials.

[C]

I'm a men's lifestyle expert.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Are you familiar with men or. Or lifestyle?

[B]

Both. Vaguely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's what you're my whole life.

[C]

Men and lifestyle.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

I have a podcast that talks about that kind of stuff.

[A]

Throwing Fits is one of my favorite non sports podcasts.

[B]

I feel like I've heard of this podcast, but on Instagram for me. Is it. It's not a girl.

[C]

There's like we have a 1% women listenership, so.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, same working at sports.

[A]

Congrats on your podcast announcements.

[B]

Thank you. I mean, the number five podcast on the sports apple chart. It's just because it's based on new subs. We don't even have an episode.

[A]

Doesn't matter.

[B]

Don't even have an episode yet.

[A]

Are we rolling on the various.

[B]

One last thing before we start, you guys. The invisalign's done.

[A]

Oh my God, look at that. Katie's hot now. Katie's hot now.

[B]

I am now unapproachable. Please don't approach me. I'm too hot to talk to you.

[A]

This is the third episode in a trilogy that I want to catch Lawrence up on.

[C]

Please do.

[A]

Katie and I have tested athlete alcohol and we declared. What sucked in your memory?

[B]

Oh, I think it was.

[A]

Oh, Michael Jordan's. Michael Jordan was terrible.

[B]

So bad.

[C]

Did you have the LeBron Henny?

[B]

No, we had LeBron Tequila.

[A]

The Lobos. Right. We were eventually very drunk.

[B]

We got pretty drunk. Yeah, right. Yeah. Charles Woodson's. We didn't like.

[A]

It was basically as much athlete alcohol as we could get. Yeah, C.J. mcCollum's wine was pretty good.

[B]

Yeah, I think it was. I think vaguely that I remember that it was. I don't. It was one of the first things we drank.

[C]

Oh, really? Yeah. So we have to go to the tape.

[B]

It feels like it's in enveloping my tongue. Does that make sense?

[A]

It is.

[B]

I feel it on, like, all sides of my tongue. This is good.

[A]

Relatedly, Katie Nolan hasn't dumped any of the wine that she's been tasting. Cheese.

[B]

Not a. When I puked it all up, I didn't even taste that.

[A]

Yep, yep, yep, yep. That was part one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Part two was athlete weed.

[B]

Right. With my fiance, Dan Soder, who is a weed expert.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Very funny, man.

[B]

Thank you. I'll let him know. And thank you. I made him this way.

[A]

Thank you for bringing all this. Great.

[B]

How much of it stays, Would you say? Because you don't want to get caught carrying this much, you could get in some real trouble.

[A]

Our typical dealer comes over, smoke some of it, eats some of your food, plays your video. This is just.

[B]

Records everything you do and publishes that as a podcast.

[C]

Guy's probably wearing a wire.

[A]

Gary Payton.

[B]

Yeah. Was the best. Which we.

[C]

I mean, that we knew smoking that glove packed it.

[A]

And Dan. Cannot smell.

[B]

Has no sense of smell. Was very upset today when I was leaving.

[A]

Physically cannot smell.

[B]

So tell Pablo I said hi. Covid knocked it out completely, so now it's, like, gone. But he also insists his taste is untouched. And I'm like, how does that work? Not possible, Right? What I know is that I trust his agency on his own senses, and he tells me he can't smell, so he's not here today.

[A]

Useless. And so I was like, who in the world can fill this third chair? And I said, okay. Who hosts show that I love?

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Check, check. Who was able to convince me using the word master perfumer?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

That he has some knowledge of cologne.

[C]

Perfumier. I don't even.

[A]

You did say that in the kitchen.

[B]

Is that a word? Perfumier?

[A]

I don't know. He's referencing a guy. What was the guy?

[C]

You do know his name is Rodrigo. I don't know his last name.

[A]

He met a perfumier named Rodrigo, and I was like, that's plenty.

[B]

What else could a man named Rodrigo do for a living?

[C]

That's the nose. Nose.

[B]

He's got a smell.

[A]

I believe you also said, quote in a text, I know what I like and have gotten a lot of expensive for free.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

That is a fact. 100%.

[A]

All right, Katie, what do you know about cologne?

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Don't wear it. I don't wear perfume. I guess girl cologne.

[C]

Cologne for girls.

[B]

But then again, like, I get. I'm the man. The object of my affection. Can't smell, so what am I wasting my time smelling?

[A]

All nice for just farting with impunity.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. But I think I like, know if I like the way something smells.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not afraid to say it.

[A]

So we have in this corner of the room, 11 different athlete slash celebrity colognes, SL perfumes. They've created a whole system. We're going to blind smell this.

[B]

Okay. Can we not call it fragrance?

[A]

Fragrances is what I'm being told in my ear by Rob, who collected all of this stuff. That's a Denigra.

[B]

Are we doing it like. Like they do at a counter where they spray it on a little thing and then they waft it in front of your nose?

[A]

We. You will see. We have. We have testers pre sprayed.

[B]

Great.

[A]

Each individually bagged. And we have reveals in which we will find out what it was. Some notes. Literal and figurative.

[B]

The notes of plastic.

[C]

Yeah. I wonder if this is how. Like, this is not an official method.

[B]

Doesn't feel it.

[A]

Okay, I'm being told to defend the method. There's a whole method.

[C]

Sorry, boys.

[A]

Long before the athlete weed strain and celebrity tequila brands, famous people were selling vanity fragrances. And so I figured with about a month before Valentine's Day, that we might do everybody out there a service. So if you're listening to this instead of watching it on YouTube, what you should know about our method here is that Katie Nolan, Laurence Schlossman and I are. Are going into this whole exercise completely blind. That means we're gonna start by taking these pre sprayed paper strips of the vanity fragrance in question out of a Ziploc bag. At which point we will give our unbiased review of it using only our sense of smell. And we're not gonna find out which celebrity it even is until the end of that segment when we open a sealed paper bag to reveal the bottle our producers bought for us inside. But if you are in fact watching this on YouTube or the DraftKings Network, our producers are also going to try something a little bit different for you, because they are going to show you the celebrity behind each fragrance early and completely silently, just on screen, while we're doing our smell test so you can know and see how powerful or not our noses are before we do. This is apparently the experience our producers had while watching us tape this episode. And this episode, by the way, will keep escalating as we get deeper and deeper into this list of 11 mystery fragrances about which we know absolutely nothing. And that is for better and also spoiler alert, for worse. We begin with fragrance number one.

[B]

Oh, this smells like my dad. 30 years.

[C]

This is bright.

[B]

Sorry?

[C]

Bright.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Meaning it, like, perks you up almost.

[C]

No, just fresh bright.

[B]

Smells like dad. It smells like aftershave. Dad.

[A]

It smells like a bunch of dads rolling around in a field.

[B]

Smells like dad camp.

[C]

Get a little barber shop.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Smells like suppressed emotional accessibility, but it.

[C]

Does unrequited love and affection.

[A]

But there is, like, an aftershave aspect to this.

[B]

This smells like a. Like a family function that I have go to and give a lot of hugs at when I'm a kid.

[C]

Hugs with men?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Does it smell expensive to you?

[C]

Honestly? Kind of. A little bit.

[B]

A little. Because it has this, like. Here we go.

[C]

New money. New money.

[B]

It has this, like, depth in the back end of it.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

It, like, dips down in a way that you're like, oh, there's.

[A]

It's dipping.

[B]

There's more to this. There's more to this than meets the eye, nose, ear, or throat. Yeah, that's nice. It's nice.

[A]

I came in expecting, like, I'm gonna all over this, and then I'm like, ah, this feels like kind of like the man that I once imagined I would be one day. Is it time to reveal?

[B]

Should we put these back in the.

[C]

One bag, lock them up, or do.

[B]

We need to keep them for cont.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, put them in the bag so that we can. All right. Isolate.

[B]

And we can never go back and smell it.

[C]

Oh, let's get some ASMR there. Pablo.

[B]

It's like lunch.

[A]

This is. And I don't know the answer to this either until right now. Michael Jordan's cologne did not Dead dad.

[B]

Did you say it smelled like.

[C]

No, but we were talking about, like, male relatives. I said unrequited love and affection.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

I mean, murdered father.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Smells like longing.

[A]

Hold on, listen. Guy sucks at tequila, but look at this packaging here. Look at this. Yeah, hold that. Describe it for the audience.

[C]

There's a debossed basketball in the glass.

[B]

Yeah. That you could put your thumb in. That's actually quite nice. I would definitely be holding it that way while spraying.

[A]

Has a flask aspect.

[C]

This might pair well with, like, cigar smoke and beer pong and taking things personally.

[A]

Gambling debt.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Michael Jordan by Michael Jordan is. It's an aromatic fragrance for men. So we nailed that. The nose behind this Fragrance is Steve DeMarcado. That, I believe is a term of art for the. The nose for the perfumier. Top notes are cypress, grapefruit, lemon cognac, geranium, cedar needles, Brazilian rosewood, seedy Nidhi.

[B]

That'S fun to say.

[A]

Middle notes, fur juniper berries fur lavender.

[C]

No, I literally my mind pelt incense.

[A]

Green tea, clary, sage and cloves. Base notes are sandalwood, musk and patchouli.

[B]

That's all I smell. I'm learning. All I get are the bass notes because the musk.

[C]

I got some of that bright up top though. I can see that that's citrus. I know no one said that, but I kind of.

[B]

I think he did. Did you describe what top, middle and absolutely not were.

[A]

But I will describe that for you now. Because a top note, according to the increasingly terrible AI overview on Google is.

[B]

When you eat rocks.

[C]

I love that. I'm so lazy. I love that AI overview.

[A]

So much worse. It's not so much worse.

[C]

Nothing I say is right. Anyway.

[A]

Top notes. The first scents you smell when you apply a fragrance. Also known as head notes or opening notes. They're the most volatile of the three fragrance notes and are made up of small light molecules that evaporate quickly. Top notes, usually composed of citrus and fruity ingredients, but can also include fresh herbs.

[C]

Some light top.

[A]

That is a fragrance that costs. What do you think?

[C]

$55?

[B]

50 over.

[A]

Under. Oh, so it's $21.36.

[C]

What a deal.

[B]

So cheap.

[A]

It smells the greatest athlete of all time.

[B]

Good. I don't. That smelled awful.

[C]

Honestly though, once you know it's a $20 cologne, it smells like.

[B]

Smells like.

[A]

Does the silhouette of his bald head. Unmistakably his bald head.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Embossed and also like some red foil. Does that do anything for you?

[C]

That's cheap. That's like you buy this at a grocery store.

[B]

Sounded cheap.

[C]

This is a Kroger's cologne.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Now I'm told that between these scents we should be smelling coffee palette cleansing by sniffing some coffee or your elbow.

[B]

Is this like Maxwell House?

[C]

And we confirmed that this is an old wives tale.

[A]

Right. I'm being told to remind you guys that we have no idea if this actually works. They also advise you to smell yourself.

[B]

Is that what you were doing just then? I thought you were like sneezing in a weird way.

[A]

They say smell your own elbow. Number two.

[B]

Yeah, number two. Oh, this one smells very different.

[C]

This hit off. Dude, was this sprayed one second ago?

[A]

These are sprayed two hours ago. The record.

[B]

It's very sweet.

[A]

By our lab. Full of scientists.

[C]

Aquatic definitely sweeter. Katie's right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it might be. Does that mean it's perfume?

[C]

Do you think maybe this. This is striking me as much more feminine?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Than MJ's musk.

[A]

Right, right, Right.

[C]

You wear this to your quinceanera. This is. That's what I'm getting. 100%. This is sweet treat.

[B]

This is like I'm. I'm reading Red Book magazine and. And one of the pages is stuck together because of a perfume ad. And I. I peel it off and it rips it open and I'm like, woo.

[A]

Yeah. This is like a magazine where the pages are stuck together for different reasons.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[C]

Pablo, shout out Victoria's Secret.

[B]

It almost smells like a perfume that is by a celebrity that I know of, but I don't think it's that.

[C]

Like a Jessica Simpson Walmart.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Sweet.

[B]

I said sweet.

[C]

You said sweet.

[B]

You just said it loud.

[A]

There aren't a lot of base notes to. This is what I would say is like the antithesis of Pachuli. This is not a barber shop. This is.

[B]

It's florally, but, like, not really. It's like lightly. It's almost like a gardenia.

[A]

Like sophomore, semi formal. Like, this is the scent that sticks in my mind years later when I'm trying to remember in my personal memory bank.

[C]

Sense memory.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

It's a.

[C]

This is feminine. This is distinctly feminine, whereas I felt the first was distinctly masculine.

[B]

I agree.

[C]

All right, so I think we're on the same page. This is a perfume.

[A]

So let's. Let's find out.

[B]

All right.

[C]

This should be interesting. We're judging a cologne by its cover.

[A]

Whoa. Ooh.

[B]

Excuse me.

[A]

A boys. There are no words on this. Can you describe this?

[B]

Maybe for boys is green. This is Seahawks perfume. The color of the liquid is green. Unless that's the glass. Nope, it's the liquid. It is Mountain Dew colored and it is ecto cooler. That's right.

[C]

It looks delicious.

[B]

This is for boys.

[A]

A product known as Avon Untouchable.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

By Chris Paul.

[C]

Wow. Huh.

[A]

I do regret my previous description. How much do you think this costs?

[C]

Why is there no branding?

[A]

There's good.

[B]

Also. Good question.

[C]

Did this drop when he was on the pelicans? What is happening here?

[A]

Right?

[B]

It's so crooked too. It's like every part of it is.

[C]

Doesn't sit right.

[B]

It sits. And then also this. So it's like, if you're going to do that, then at least make that flush with the. I don't know, man. I hate it. $12.

[C]

Okay. What did you guys pay? You guys paid 1537, probably 70.

[A]

We paid $28.99.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And you got fleeced. All Right, gals? Here we go. These are wet. These are all wet. I don't know where to touch these because they're all wet.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, that's. Now that's different.

[A]

This is very different.

[B]

This is very different.

[A]

We are redefining the spectrum of femininity.

[B]

I dare say that is a scented marker from. From. From, like, elementary school.

[C]

Get high off the.

[B]

Did you get too close to the blue or purple marker?

[A]

I'm going to briefly huff the Ziploc bag, as you would with.

[C]

Yeah, I gotta be careful. I got an addictive personality.

[A]

Guys, Lawrence is gonna take these Ziploc bags next week.

[B]

You're just on Galaxy.

[C]

What color marker? I love that because I'm getting like.

[B]

It's. I think it's like the. Almost like, maybe the bright. Remember the brown one was always like, what is this?

[C]

I'm not like a fan.

[B]

Could you picture it on someone? Because to me, even though it's making me think of a marker, if I'm picturing it on someone, it's a very older.

[C]

This is your great aunt.

[B]

A very older woman.

[A]

The person who wears this fragrance has.

[C]

A padded toilet seat and a small dog.

[B]

I love a padded toilet scene. Like, not to have. And obviously the bacteria of it. But remember how nice it was when you had.

[A]

No, it's the worst. It's like into a pillow.

[B]

Yeah. Which kind of nice.

[A]

Not here to yuck your yum.

[B]

If this is a cologne, I'll eat my hat.

[A]

I am getting the sense, though, why people are into Galaxy Gas, though, which I. I've discovered among kids and possibly adults.

[C]

I've heard it's good.

[A]

Allegedly.

[B]

Don't use it. It puts holes in your brain. Okay. No, because it puts holes.

[A]

Remember when we visited. We can bleep this institution out.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

And Katie and I visited a pillow.

[B]

And a billion carton.

[A]

Shell casings.

[B]

Shell casings of. Of little CO2 cartons.

[A]

I went to a party because someone else brought us to this. Mina Mina at.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

And the floor was like a shooting range where they were just like, hell yeah. Gatling Gunning.

[B]

I was like, you're our future. You're our brightest. You're our best and our brightest.

[C]

So this is Galaxy Gas for your great aunt, which you probably prescribed already.

[B]

Do not like, back in the bag it goes.

[A]

If someone is wearing this. I am. I am not into. All right, let's see what it is. Katie Nolan.

[B]

No, it's not Britney Spears. No, it's not Britney Spears. That's not curious. I've Worn. Curious.

[C]

You thought?

[B]

I thought. Why is it in the full box, you guys? No. Am I thinking of a different Britney Spears fragrance?

[A]

So apparently.

[C]

How many are there?

[A]

There are two different types of Britney Spears fragrances. Curious and Curious love.

[B]

Whoa, wait. Is the curious love in a pink round bottle with little green dots on it?

[A]

It is.

[B]

That's the one. I.

[C]

So they're both inquisitive fragrances, but one is romance driven. This is.

[A]

I love that Katie wore a version of this perfume.

[B]

I loved Britney Spears. I love Britney Spears.

[A]

The Curious woman. And this is capital C. The curious woman is romantic. Check. Independent. Check. Mischievous.

[B]

You talk about me, Katie, A romantic.

[A]

Romantic, independent, and mis. And mischievous.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

One who's not afraid of risk.

[B]

This is such a small bottle. Like, you're getting so little actual products.

[C]

I wonder what the price then the damage on this for getting so little.

[B]

Seemingly, I would say this is 40. 40 bucks.

[C]

Best bottle, though.

[B]

35 bucks.

[A]

Grab the bottle, please.

[B]

A genie bottle, but it's which, you know, Christina, but it's very, like, angular on the ends. It's like almost like a clamshell. It's blue, like, 30.

[A]

30 milliliters.

[B]

30 milliliters. Tiny little guy.

[C]

Like a diamond, maybe?

[A]

Kind of.

[B]

It kind of does precious like a cartoon diamond.

[C]

All right, well, this is definitely a Walmart thing. So I'm gonna go 15.

[B]

Definitely a Walmart thing. What do you mean by that?

[C]

Because Britney Spears has to deal with Walmart.

[A]

Launch in 04 became an instant hit with the public. Composition is based on the notes of white flowers surrounded with vanilla and musk nuances. It opens with fresh lotus mouth watering pear and magnolia. The intensive floral heart.

[B]

Pear is there for sure.

[A]

The intensive floral heart, like me, is composed of tuberose, Tuberose, jasmine, and pink cyclamen. Cyclamen.

[B]

Those are my three favorite Disney princesses.

[A]

That's what the. The wise men brought in. Britney Spears.

[B]

Yes. Frankincense and pink psilocybin.

[A]

The sensual base is composed of musk, vanilla, and precious woods.

[C]

Sensual base.

[A]

Precious woods.

[B]

Yeah. That's a lot, Brit.

[A]

It is the kind of scent that makes your parents want to control your finances. Oh, I was gonna say get divorced, Katie. Lauren said $15.

[B]

I'm gonna say 30. $30.

[A]

Britney Spears. Curious.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

$16.74. Wow.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

This man knows what real America wants to smell.

[B]

Finger on the scent pulse.

[C]

Yeah, dude, I know. They want lotus flower for 16 bones.

[A]

Precious wood number four.

[B]

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wow. You guys, spray these. Put them right in the bag.

[C]

Holy.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

Yo, dude, you are waiting online to get in the club. This is.

[B]

Oh, my God. You are talking to me about something I don't care about.

[C]

This is gasoline.

[B]

Oh, my God. You won't shut up.

[A]

I just got roofied by this.

[B]

Oh, my God. Crypto. This smells like crypto. Oh, my God. It's tough to put near your nose.

[C]

He still owns NFTs. This is so bad.

[B]

This guy had got one of those apes.

[A]

This fragrance owns multiple board Apes. Says diamond hands unironically.

[C]

This is. This is a rough one.

[B]

It's really alcoholy.

[C]

I might have to tap out. That's really, really heinous. That's not good.

[A]

Yeah. You hate to see this fragrance at a cod reunion.

[C]

It's just too much.

[B]

It's too much. It's.

[A]

I want to say European, but that might be too derogatory.

[B]

It's a coked up business pitch. It's a like. Dude, I think. I think we should. I think we should talk about investments.

[A]

I cannot wait to find out.

[B]

I know. I hope it's like. Oh, I just hope it's an athlete. I don't like.

[C]

Yes. Yes. CR7, dude. Yes.

[A]

Ronaldo popping out of this paper bag could not have been more perfect.

[C]

You're missing the operative word. Origins.

[A]

Origins.

[C]

Holy.

[A]

He's described with the packaging. This is like.

[B]

I'm so happy right now.

[A]

Our noses just.

[C]

You would think that he would just go shirtless, right? But he's wearing a shirt completely unbuttoned.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

With the kind of come hither look that an absolute is gonna snatch right off the shelf. This is. Look at that expression at the top.

[B]

Where you push, where you inflict damage upon. It says CR7, but it kind of looks like it says cry, and I love that. Oh, my God. That's brutal.

[C]

Dude. That is fragrance imitating life.

[A]

This is a new fragrance. CR7 Origins was launched in 2022. Top notes are bay leaf, mandarin orange.

[B]

Bay leaf? What is this, a soup?

[C]

Send this perfumier to the Hague.

[B]

Dude.

[C]

This is terrible.

[A]

Middle notes are clary, sage, lavender, and geranium. Bass notes are patchouli and ass dog.

[B]

And cheeks. Spread cheeks. How much?

[A]

What are you guys saying?

[B]

I said 50.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

$68.

[A]

25.

[B]

Thank God, thank God, thank God. Okay, Cristiano, you win this time. Oh, get it out.

[A]

Oh, no. Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Where's the bag? Where's the bag? I don't know.

[C]

We have a breach.

[B]

It breached.

[C]

How do you it off our fingers?

[B]

Oh, my God. It is on My fingers.

[C]

It lingers.

[B]

Oh, don't smell my finger.

[A]

Number five.

[B]

Oh, it's cinnamon. Oh, it's spice.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, it's all spice. It's Old Spice. It's.

[A]

It's pungent.

[B]

Five spice.

[C]

It is like in your spice cabinet or rack where all the spices have been and they all kind of voltron to be, you know, it's like every. All spices.

[A]

Yeah. This is the bottom of your grinder. If you smoked spices. Oh, it's settling in. At a certain point, the spiciness begins to wear a suit.

[C]

I'm kind of with it now.

[B]

Okay. But then on the back, it's like sweet and. And almost floral. In the back, it's like.

[A]

Yeah, this back. There's a lot going on, baby.

[C]

Got settles in. Tenderly.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

It holds you nicely.

[A]

We've been on a run of three straight ass fragrances.

[C]

This is growing.

[B]

This is nice. This smells expensive.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

This feels like a chance that you're taking. You're going out and you're like, I'm gonna try to be this guy. And I'm kind of intrigued by what this guy's life is like.

[C]

Yeah. Maybe some type of performative accessory, you know, a new hat.

[B]

Try a hat. But you might take it off halfway through because you're crushing. This is crushed under the weight of it.

[A]

This is the new hat.

[C]

Ordering a drink that you never order because you're like, this kind of feels right tonight.

[A]

This is Cristiano Ronaldo's friend who in comparison.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Is the guy you want to spend the. Your. Your night out with. This is Cristiano Ronaldo with his shirt buttoned up.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Just norm. Just being normal.

[B]

I think I quite like it. I reserve the right to say I hate it once I see whose it is.

[A]

Very good. Let's find out.

[B]

I'll put it in the bag because we cannot have another.

[C]

It's Robert Downey Jr. As Sherlock Holmes in the Guy Richie movies.

[A]

I do think that's nice, guys.

[C]

Let's go.

[B]

What is it?

[C]

Yeah. David Beckham. You said so.

[A]

We nailed it.

[B]

I think so too.

[C]

Nailed it, you know? No, David Beckham nailed it.

[B]

Yeah. That's a really good fragrance, David. I quite like that.

[A]

Instinct.

[B]

Spice. What did the first thing I said when I smelled it? A bunch. Spice.

[A]

Rewind the tape.

[B]

Posh Spice. I said, wow, this is Posh Spice.

[C]

And it is a posh smelling.

[B]

Oh, my God, I do love this. Should we take a look at the bottle? Really good at this. I think we should do this for. For our Living. I'm canceling my podcast and I'm starting. I mean, that just looks like cologne, right? That looks like a bottle.

[A]

But even the box. A classy box.

[B]

Classy box. As the posh box.

[C]

Many are saying this is like his version of Tom Ford cologne branding. Almost like.

[B]

Exactly. Even nicer in the bottle, if I may say.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Notes. We're back to the vetiver. Bergamot or bergamot.

[B]

I think it's bergamot, but don't quote me.

[A]

Which is like a yellow fruit. An orange. Some are saying Amandarin. Orange is another one. Star. Anise. Pimento.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Pachuli.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cardamom.

[B]

Cardamom.

[A]

White. Amber.

[C]

I think we're missing the biggest thing. The juxtaposition between David Beckham and Cristiano Ron comes down to having taste or no taste. This is a tasteful guy. Yeah, It's a tasteful fragrance.

[A]

True.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Cristiano Ronaldo. No taste in gasoline.

[A]

The scene in the. In the David Beckham doc, which I did not watch all of, but just have seen that. Yeah, exactly.

[B]

We're very working. Working class.

[A]

Be honest.

[B]

I. I am being honest. I am being honest.

[A]

Did your dad drive you to school in.

[B]

So, my dad. No one answer my dad. All right. It's not a simple answer because.

[A]

Did you get your dad to drop it depends. No, no, no, no, no.

[B]

Okay. In the 80s, my dad had a Rolls Royce. Thank you.

[A]

So on that note, what do you think this runs? Yeah.

[B]

Next floral note, I'm going to say this is a six sixty to dollar seventy bottle of purple.

[C]

Yeah. I'm thinking 75, guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is $19.20.

[B]

Come on, go buy it.

[C]

The best 19 you've ever.

[B]

Right now and buy it.

[C]

Stocking stuffer.

[A]

75 million.

[B]

Are you way wrong? Is this.

[C]

That's a deal.

[A]

It's a deal.

[B]

Super. Is that a bad.

[C]

It's a good fragrance. That's legit.

[A]

This is currently the clubhouse leader.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, without a. There's not even close to.

[A]

Number six. Whoa.

[B]

Yowza.

[C]

All right. This needs to breathe wet.

[A]

This is very wet.

[C]

Wetter than Beck's got you.

[B]

Oh, boy. This is something else.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's cinnamon. That's.

[C]

Oh, I hate this.

[B]

That's heavy musk. That is Elon.

[A]

As my reaction to smelling. This is like a meerkat popping out of a burrow, and I'm deciding whether to pop back down, and I think I'm. I think I'm back in the burrow.

[C]

This is dirty.

[B]

Sometimes you gotta pop out and smell fragrances.

[C]

It's a little filthy.

[B]

Okay, that is really not getting less strong.

[A]

This is a turn for the worse.

[C]

It's becoming more.

[B]

It smells like a woman wearing a suit for the first time. It feels like the first time a lady ever was like, women can wear suits as well. That woman wore this perfume.

[C]

Smells like shoulder pads, right?

[A]

It smells like a shoulder pad.

[B]

A big gold button.

[A]

This smells like she can have it all.

[B]

She can. Let's see it.

[C]

If it's for a man, I'll be. I'll be surprised.

[B]

Gobsmacked.

[A]

This is a big package.

[B]

Okay. No gob. Smack.

[C]

Brady.

[B]

Oh, my God. Tom Brady. I thought it was Chris Pratt. I don't. My glasses on.

[C]

You thought. How light skinned is Chris Brown?

[A]

No.

[B]

Chris Pratt. I don't think. Don't say that person's name.

[A]

Tom Brady.

[B]

First of all, Stetson.

[C]

So collab with the hat company.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Damn.

[C]

You got your cologne at the Hat.

[B]

That's where my friend went to college. Stetson.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

To.

[B]

To learn how to make original Stetson, the legendary fragrance of the American West. A rich, masculine blend of rugged woods, spice.

[C]

This is a Ms. Baby.

[B]

Baby, baby.

[A]

No incomplete base notes. Sandalwood, musk, vanilla honey. Tonka Bean.

[B]

Tonka Bean?

[C]

What's that?

[A]

Tonka Trucks also make beans. Much like Stetson also wears.

[B]

At Taco Tonka Bell.

[A]

That's right. What do you think it costs?

[B]

$12.99.

[C]

55.

[A]

$30.47. This is the most expensive cologne so far.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Correct. We've done a lot of patriarchal scouting of these fragrances. This.

[C]

This is the first lady.

[A]

This. This is a lady that we should Respect.

[C]

This is Dr. Jill Biden. God rest her soul.

[B]

What?

[A]

Dr. Jill still with us.

[C]

Imagine you found out that's how she died, though, right? Now that would be hilarious, right?

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Not Dr. Jill. Really?

[C]

This is soft and delicate.

[A]

And I would like my laundry to kind of smell like this, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Or my bed sheets, you know?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Wow. Sexist again.

[A]

I want this to make me a delicious sandwich.

[B]

I want this to cook for me.

[C]

I guess I can still be sexist even though I'm married.

[B]

But they're my children.

[A]

There's a subtlety here.

[B]

This smells like how I remember that Britney Spears perfume smelling.

[C]

Is this the romance version?

[B]

I don't think they would do both.

[A]

I don't. I.

[C]

These diabolical monsters.

[B]

Fruity back. You get that? Like apple. What you say it's fruity in the back.

[A]

Fruity in the back it is.

[B]

Guys. Grow up. It's fruity in the back.

[C]

I like this.

[A]

I like this.

[C]

I like this.

[A]

I like this.

[B]

All right, guys. Marry it, why don't you? Jesus, Simps.

[C]

All this is for sure perfume.

[B]

It's not going to sleep with you. Sorry. I'm just being people on the Internet. When you're nice to a lady, hope she sees this. Yeah.

[C]

You can't just be polite.

[B]

No.

[C]

I mean, they're still correct probably, but yeah.

[B]

This is nice.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

This is a winner.

[B]

It's classy, it's light, it's.

[A]

But also feminine enough to satisfy, again, my most aspirational alpha desires.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, Pablo. I look at Pablo and I think of his alpha. How alpha.

[C]

I like it. I like it a lot.

[B]

I can't make eye contact with Pablo while he's. Everybody making me very uncomfortable.

[A]

Look at me. No, it's nice.

[B]

It's. It's light, it's floral, it's fruity.

[C]

This is wonderful.

[B]

It's like, almost like a peach or like a.

[A]

This is like the drink you order at dinner and your friends are, like, beginning to make fun of you, and then you're like, try it.

[B]

They're like, is this. Is that elder flower in there? And you're like, just take a sip.

[A]

Bet you regret making fun of me now.

[C]

Soft.

[A]

Let's see what number seven is.

[B]

Soft. Soft. This baby.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Jennifer, this is me now.

[A]

This is us now.

[B]

Still.

[A]

She did it again.

[C]

Did it again.

[A]

That Jlo, she is still.

[B]

She do what? Can't she be still?

[A]

The block. Katie and I have made fun of JLO in the past. I apologize.

[B]

She popped out recently. I want to say it was something political in a brown outfit that my jaw was on the floor.

[A]

This is what a celebrity smells like. Yeah, it's called still.

[C]

That's good.

[B]

That's nice.

[A]

Contemplating making this her daily drive.

[B]

17.99, my daily driver. 17.99 my Adam driver. 7099.

[C]

I bet it. Because I guarantee you she's moving bricks of this. 20 bucks.

[A]

26.23.

[B]

And worth every penny, I think. Very beautiful. Very beautiful. Very delicate. That's why you can't make eye contact.

[C]

With her when this is aspirational for a certain type of very low head.

[A]

For sure.

[B]

Jlo. You did it again.

[C]

Feed my kids tonight or smell like JLo.

[B]

I get that, J.

[A]

This next fragrance needs to earn it. They can't coast on as so many have. They cannot coast on the legacy of Jennifer Lopez.

[B]

Huh?

[C]

This literally smells like the Standard Hotel in Miami. Pablo and I were talking about this earlier. This just smells like the they're like lobby scent, which is definitely something way more expensive and better than whatever this is. But to me, this is nice. Soapy in a bad way.

[B]

Yeah, it smells. I I very soapy.

[A]

I like a luxury hotel lobby.

[B]

Yeah, we all know this about you.

[C]

I like this.

[A]

There is restraint. I credit this for its restraint.

[C]

Are you getting perfume or cologne?

[B]

I don't. It's unisex. It feels.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[C]

I'm a fan. And if this is cheap enough straight to cart.

[A]

Let's open up the bag.

[C]

I'm really curious about this one.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Why does Will Levis have a fragrance?

[B]

Excuse?

[C]

Why is it so good?

[B]

And why isn't it called Will Levis?

[A]

Read it more closely.

[B]

Will Levis number eight, Hellman's parfum de mayonnaise.

[C]

Yo, they killed it.

[B]

That's so funny.

[C]

So he's in the commercials, right?

[A]

Yes. So I.

[B]

So funny that you guys thought.

[A]

Incredible.

[C]

Can you buy this or is it. Do you get it?

[B]

When you order a jar of helmets Smell like mayonnaise. It wasn't supposed to. Was it? Like, I don't.

[A]

So it is to. To Lawrence's taste and appreciation for the finer things in life. This is impossible to find. Now it's all sold out. You can't get it.

[B]

Ah, there you go. Take it. Can't add to cart.

[A]

But. But they.

[C]

It smells more like mayonnaise up close. And now that I know that, is.

[B]

It supposed to smell like mayonnaise?

[A]

Will Levis number eight parfum de mayonnaise. Open to the bright burst of tart lemon that provides a refreshing and clean introduction. At the heart of the fragrance lies a creamy, daring mayonnaise accord.

[B]

What?

[A]

Daring daring creamy and daring Creamy daring mayonnaise accord.

[B]

Like it's the Geneva ones.

[A]

Yep. Offering a smooth and complex heart. We're describing Lawrence so far, by the way.

[C]

I am creamy and delightful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And a complex heart.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Parsley adds a fresh herbal element reminiscent of a well prepared dish. And of course, this fragrance would not be complete without subtle coffee undertones. Reminiscent of Will's signature meal. Mayonnaise infused caffeine beverage. Apparently.

[B]

Drinks mayo.

[A]

He has a signature mayonnaise infused caffeine beverage.

[C]

What?

[A]

This is a thing, Right? He puts mayonnaise in his coffee.

[C]

Wait, really? That's that. And that's why they signed him. Levis quarterback at the University of Kentucky. And I have been known to put mayonnaise in my coffee sometimes.

[A]

A sensual musk base weaves through the composition evoking physicality and creating charisma. Finally, we finish off with a comforting, creamy vanilla finish that is equal parts inviting and intriguing.

[C]

The vanilla was there. No, that's the hotel lobby.

[A]

I hesitate to say that Katie comes out looking great for test, but it.

[C]

Shouldn'T be that good for what it is.

[B]

It had no business trying as hard as it did.

[C]

They put their whole into that.

[B]

They're mussy. Yeah, they're mayo. See?

[A]

I mean, it is creamy and daring.

[B]

No, Absolutely not.

[A]

Number nine.

[B]

Very nice. Very delicate. This feels like a lady to me.

[C]

This smells generic to me. Like a platonic ideal of perfume.

[A]

It's almost evasive to me in a world in which people are screaming. I'm not even sure what gender this is. Honestly.

[B]

Enigma.

[A]

A riddle.

[B]

It's like a woodsy. I have such a headache from this. Yeah, just a beak.

[A]

Is it possible to be drunk off of smelling fragrances?

[B]

When you picture perfume, you picture this.

[C]

This is what you. Yeah, you smell.

[A]

Dare I say that? It almost feels like it's like an algorithmic.

[B]

I liked it more at first than I do now.

[A]

This is a centrist. Admittedly, I'm a little gun shy also because I was just praising the mayo fragrance.

[C]

Yeah, dude, the mayo is better than this. I don't care what comes out of the bag. The mayo is better than this.

[A]

We can only find a sample of this.

[C]

Oh, broke.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

What is it? Driven by Derek Jeter. What? Yo, that's.

[A]

We kind of nailed him.

[C]

Is this kind of going in the gift bag for the. For the ladies Driven away from my home.

[B]

Oh, it's an Avon. It's another Avon Jam.

[A]

Autograph baseball. It's sample of Derek Jeter driven Captain Boring. I love. I grew up adoring this man, but.

[C]

I cuz he got ass.

[A]

I mean, he was clutch.

[B]

Yeah, and he's a snooze fest.

[C]

If you are a Yankee fan from Staten island and you buy the driven cologne and you put that on, you're gonna be upset.

[B]

You're gonna be disappointed.

[A]

It's. It's not.

[C]

He might do a hate crime.

[A]

Still a hall of Famer, to be clear. Unambiguous.

[B]

We can't take that away. They won't let.

[A]

Thank you for clarifying, but if we.

[B]

Could, we'd revoke it because of that perfume.

[A]

Jeez.

[C]

That's not.

[B]

Not good. Just really boring. Not my cup of tea.

[C]

Like Jeets.

[A]

Yeah, Jets.

[B]

Yeah, jets.

[A]

Number 10.

[B]

Oh, this is juicy. This is juicy.

[C]

That'll get you.

[B]

Oh, that's what the Britney Spears smells like to me.

[C]

Yeah, this is bubble gum. This is bath and body works. This is Jessica Simpson written all over it. Something like that. It's one of those for sure.

[B]

This is fruity.

[A]

This is David La Chapelle. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

This is those Steve Madden ads where they used to make their heads really big and small.

[C]

This is a Bratz doll.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

This is no one over the age of 14.

[B]

This is youthful. This is exhausting me just to smell it.

[A]

If you are wearing this V, you are not a 14 year old. You should be arrested.

[C]

You're on a watch list.

[B]

This is Britney. This smells like the Britney Spears I know. I'm going to keep saying that.

[A]

This like I, Chris Hansen, should walk in the door now that we've broken this out of the Ziploc.

[B]

It's not as bad as they're making it sound. It's just very bright, very sweet. Good instincts for you both to be repulsed by the scent of a child girl, for the record, love that. Good job. Doing a great job.

[A]

You hate this.

[B]

You hate it.

[A]

Never. I gross.

[B]

I can picture it bullying me. Oh, I am scared of it.

[C]

Mean girl.

[A]

This fragrance is the reason why Katie got Invisalign.

[B]

It ends really, really sweet. Like the more I'm sitting with it, the more it's like cotton candy. Get it? You're 12. This is Taylor Swift. Wonderstruck.

[A]

Just nailed that tracks. Nailed it.

[B]

That tracks.

[C]

And I like T swizz. But yeah, this is. This is preying on the parents of young girls who don't have the money.

[B]

To spend one death.

[A]

Stupid. Oh, thunderstruck. Taylor's version also.

[C]

No.

[A]

Is this the real.

[C]

Is this the real bottle? Just zero effort.

[A]

It's a travel size.

[C]

Yeah, it's a travel travel size.

[A]

You know, you want to smell like travel with someone.

[B]

It smells like a Taylor Swift concert. This is. This is exactly right.

[A]

Do you think that Taylor Swift smells like this?

[C]

Hell no.

[A]

Wonder Struck is the first fragrance from the young American pop country singer Taylor Swift. Launch in cooperation with the cosmetic company Elizabeth Arden. Wonderstruck is named after the lyrics from the song Enchanted. Quote, I'm Wonderstruck, comma, blushing all the way home.

[C]

Cool portmanteau which tell about the feeling.

[A]

And the impression you get when you first meet someone you like. Taylor hopes that her fragrance will be an essential part of many impressions in first meetings. What do you think Wonderstruck costs?

[C]

It tracks, but I thought it would. This is that smell too. I don't think low end.

[B]

I don't Think she was a full blown capitalist yet.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

How much she would sell it for? I will say that size bottle.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

12, 7, 17, 9. 17.99.

[C]

The travel size bottle is 9.99.

[A]

59.99.

[C]

What the.

[A]

How dare you underestimate.

[B]

It's been a full blown capitalist the whole time. Wonder struck.59.99 for the travel size.

[C]

Damn. We've been wondering. That's in. That's crazy town.

[B]

Egregious.

[C]

Delivered to your house on a private jet. That's bad.

[B]

That's interesting.

[A]

That's the worst.

[B]

That being the most expensive and the smallest size other than the Jeter one.

[C]

And with the least appeal. That is only for little girls.

[A]

The last fragrance.

[B]

Oh, good.

[A]

Is number 11.

[C]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

What is that? Is that spearmint?

[A]

Wow. This is potent. This is the most. I feel like this is hell. Besides, I have not smelled this since origin.

[B]

This sits outside in a folding chair and whistles at me.

[A]

Man, I'm afraid of this.

[C]

This is an Elks club, a VFW hall.

[A]

This one has seen some things and done some things.

[B]

As I'm sitting with it. I don't dislike it necessarily.

[C]

Yeah, I'm getting Vietnam vet for sure.

[A]

Man.

[C]

Maybe it'll settle a bit.

[A]

It's. Yeah, it really does come on strong.

[B]

It's kind of like deep. It's kind of like the back of my nose.

[A]

I feel that actually.

[B]

And it's like earthy and woodsy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Let it be known there is John.

[C]

Madden or like some old. Like Terry Bradshaw.

[B]

Oh, I hope it's Terry Bradshaw.

[C]

You know, something like an old guy.

[A]

See this being a Terry Bradshaw.

[B]

Me too, actually.

[A]

Almost medicinal.

[C]

Yeah. This is a. This is a guy rolls into your one horse town. He's got a. In a briefcase full of whatever.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And this is something. This is one of those.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Opolio. Here you go, dog. But it doesn't smell cheap. Like this kind of.

[A]

No, no, no.

[C]

It's like. But. But like home brewed.

[B]

I think I'm giving it credit for being different. It's very different than what we've smelled today.

[A]

This is. This is. This is alluring.

[C]

This is the work of an old man.

[A]

Is it snake oil? Is it penicillin?

[C]

Who cares? He's got stories and his own bottle of whiskey.

[A]

Our last fragrance is.

[C]

Drum roll.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

We're gonna cut that.

[C]

We got. God.

[A]

We're gonna cut that.

[C]

We got got. We got got snake oil salesman.

[A]

I think we nailed that. This is fight, fight, fight. Donald Trump.

[B]

Oh, the bottle's brutal. What a tacky.

[C]

Just a sticker slapped on a.

[A]

That's perfect though.

[B]

Limited edition 2024.

[A]

Made in France. I hate how made France.

[B]

Yeah, I thought he was. I thought America first.

[C]

We got the sig on the side. This is 2024. This must have been.

[A]

This is new.

[B]

Like a cigarette. This is that new.

[A]

This is that new new. It is a an all black heavy ass bottle. Fight Fight Fight is a bold fragrance from Trump fragrances designed for men who embody strength and resilience. This limited edition cologne is crafted to leave a lasting impression with its rich and robust notes. The fragrances commemorate President Trump's moment of personal courage in the story. What does that have to do Americans? After being shot at in Butler, Pennsylvania, instead of the potential horrific moment of Trump's assassination, every camera on the mainstream media captured the most iconic photograph and video of his political career.

[B]

Oh, my God. The amount of money I I was looking for the profile notes.

[A]

Lawrence, what do you think this costs?

[C]

Well, based on that reaction.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

So this is $100.

[B]

Mine says 200.

[C]

Whoa. Let's we go.

[A]

We pay. I don't actually. This is the most embarrassing 200 bucks that we spent. 216.67.

[B]

The retail is 199 a bottle.

[A]

We gave, I presume, to be the alleged shell company.

[C]

I can't believe it doesn't smell worse now.

[B]

Let's go. Is anybody here really good at math and conversions?

[A]

End the show.

[B]

This. If you took the amount that Taylor Swift had in hers and scaled it up to this size, is that more? Does she charge more per drop than he does?

[A]

Mathematically speaking, Taylor Swift's cologne fragrance. Perfume would cost at this rate, $400.

[C]

Jesus Christ. Shout out to T. Swizz.

[A]

I hope that the rest of the year works out in a way in which we're all like, you know what? That wasn't as bad as I thought.

[B]

Happy January 6th, by the way.

[C]

Yeah. Belated.

[B]

Belated. January 6th.

[A]

At the end of every episode of Holor finds out a show where we find stuff out. We say what we found out today. And I guess, I guess Katie, I.

[B]

Found out Taylor Swift charges more per drop of her perfume. Or did. I don't know. Then 45, 47. Is that what we call them now? Is it 45, 40. What? How do you even. Do you get both numbers? Did that. Did Grover Cleveland.

[A]

Yeah, you get both. Yeah, you get both.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

You get both. What was your favorite?

[B]

It's between Beckham and I and jlo.

[A]

I think I'm still shook.

[B]

What did you learn today? What'd you find out today?

[C]

Found out that I'm updating my hall pass with my wife to David Beckham.

[B]

Nice. That wasn't on there.

[C]

No. I also found out that I want to try mayonnaise in my coffee. The little Levis, whatever's happening there.

[B]

Yeah, you wear that, it unlocks all.

[C]

The right buttons for your boy. I don't know. I'm not gonna start rooting for the Titans, but.

[B]

No, that'd be nuts, that.

[C]

I mean, he's figured something out.

[A]

So I think if I may collectively summarize our thoughts, I'll find you that picture. The big winner, I think, is David Beck.

[C]

At the price point, too.

[A]

At that price point.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

1925. The best deal. The best man, dare I say, on the metal stand, though, we concur that JLO is there.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

If we're being honest with ourselves.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

The scientists behind the glass are telling me that it was pretty clear that we all agree that the Trump was. Was pretty good.

[B]

Damn. Really?

[A]

What I found out today is that I should never trust the producers of this show.

[B]

Why would you ever do that? Nose.

[C]

Nose.

[A]

God.

[C]

Nose. Don't lie. Trump got one.

[A]

This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out A Meadowlark Media production and I'll talk to you next time.