PTFO x Cooligans - Pablo Torre chose chicken fingers over watching Messi’s first Inter Miami goal!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Pablo Torre Finds Out x Cooligans – Pablo Torre Chose Chicken Fingers Over Watching Messi’s First Inter Miami Goal!
Pablo Torre Finds Out • Le Batard & Friends • Jan 23, 2024

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Overview

In this lively, irreverent crossover episode, Pablo Torre joins The Cooligans (Alexis Guerreros and Christian Polanco) for a sprawling, comedic, and introspective conversation that navigates the worlds of sports journalism, identity, soccer fandom, infamous podcast moments, and, infamously, why Pablo missed Lionel Messi’s first Inter Miami goal—in favor of eating chicken fingers. The trio riff on media culture, immigrant backgrounds, Filipino pride, and the ongoing struggle to make soccer matter to American audiences.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Podcasting, Enemies, and Gasbag Reputation

• Pablo tackles the “gasbag” label—how sports media, especially shows like Around the Horn and Pardon the Interruption, balance performative arguments, entertainment, and actual analysis.

• Pablo jokes about accumulating “enemies” in the industry, mentioning Vivek Ramaswamy, Marcus Jordan, and Larsa Pippen ([02:38]).

• The Cooligans and Pablo dissect the infamous “trophy room backdooring” sneaker scandal involving Marcus Jordan.

  “My conscience is just wracked with guilt. What does Larsa Pippen think of me? Keeps me up at night.”
  – Pablo Torre, [02:24]

2. Identity, Race, and Fitting In

• The hosts and Pablo swap stories about their ambiguous ethnic backgrounds and the way their appearance often confuses people, especially in diverse New York City settings ([09:27]-[12:45]).

• Pablo discusses the “brown-skinned, ethnically ambiguous” future of America—and laughs at being mistaken for various backgrounds.

  “I think this table, all three of us are just going to be what all of planet Earth looks like 500 years from now…getting all mixed together.”
  – Pablo Torre, [12:30]

3. Life Inside ESPN and ‘Around the Horn’

• The mechanics of Around the Horn: Despite its competitive trappings, it’s “live to tape,” and the real win is getting the last word ([15:31]-[16:15]).

• Joys and pressures of winning FaceTime; and, a genuine appreciation for Japanese toilets—a surprisingly extended, funny tangent on bidets ([16:34]-[18:44]).

  “My philosophy is spend money on what you use every day — and let me tell you, this toilet makes my life easier and better.”
  – Pablo Torre, [17:09]

4. Dan Le Batard Show War Stories

• The Cooligans recount the intimidating experience of being razzed by Le Batard and his crew—an “opposite of a pep rally.” Pablo affirms that being gently bullied on Dan’s show is a rite of passage ([21:45]–[25:13]).

• Pablo shares his own “dunk tank” moment when he had little substance to share while covering Canelo Álvarez compared to a colleague covering Floyd Mayweather ([23:43]–[24:18]).

  “It is a rite of passage. We all have a story where we sound like the worst version of ourselves trying to impress Dan on a show that is mostly there to just fuck with us.”
  – Pablo Torre, [24:40]

5. Soccer Fandom: Confessions & American Perspective

• The difficulty of being a mainstream journalist discussing soccer for a U.S. audience: Making it accessible without condescension ([33:35]–[34:52]).

• Pablo’s soccer background: Brief childhood stints, FIFA video game obsession, and being sent to Brazil for the 2014 World Cup—where he found himself more comfortable covering “the scene” than the tactics ([26:52]–[30:24]).

  “I was there for five weeks…not to provide soccer analysis, but to write about the scene, the characters. For the American audience.”
  – Pablo Torre, [28:20]

6. The Messi Chicken Fingers Incident

• The main event: Pablo’s viral gaffe—why he missed Lionel Messi’s iconic debut Inter Miami goal while in the stadium: he was getting chicken fingers. He explains the context (stadium setup, timing, logic) and takes the razzing in stride ([37:11]–[41:00]).

  “My math was: The safest time to get some chicken fingers is at the very beginning of the game. What are the odds...? And of course, what happens—Messi scores that goal.”
  – Pablo Torre, [39:21]

• The Cooligans commiserate; stadium food war stories are exchanged.

7. Representation, Filipino Sports Icons, and Finding Identity in Fandom

• For Pablo, diehard sports fandom arises when he sees Asian (especially Filipino) representation: referencing Manny Pacquiao as the avatar of Filipino pride despite problematic sides ([42:46]–[46:21]).

• He shares stories of playing pickup basketball with Pacquiao, the quirks of Filipino basketball culture, and covering Pacquiao’s entourage.

  “Manny Pacquiao was that for me… he represented me. He was emotional, and did in all the genetic and ancestral ways.”
  – Pablo Torre, [44:39]

• Discussion of the Filipino Women's National Soccer Team—assembled via American diaspora—offering new hope for Filipino pride ([49:44]–[51:14]).

8. Sports Television, Social Media, and Memes

• Pablo addresses being memed by “asshole soccer fans” over his famous slip (“Messi did it in the Premier League”) and how social media amplifies gaffes ([41:32], [41:57]).
• The nature of American soccer fans wanting legitimacy, not condescension, mirrored in sports coverage.

9. Closing: Games, Plugs, and Community

• A playful challenge: Cooligans threaten to exact revenge in FIFA as Pablo plots a comeback after losing at Street Fighter ([52:31]).
• Both sides promote each other’s projects (Pablo Torre Finds Out, The Sporting Class, SoccerKooligans).
• Appreciation and camaraderie close out the episode.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “On some level, deep inside, [being called miserable by Larsa Pippen] was very cutting… I thought I was going to be invited to the wedding.”
  – Pablo Torre, [06:39]

• “If someone asks, are you Mexican? Just say ‘sí’ and own it for the rest of the country.”
  – Alexis, [14:01]

• “We can also ruin democracy by inspiring competitive talk shows.”
  – Pablo Torre, [14:45]

• “You never realize how imposing it is to have, I think, 35 guest hosts… all with something they want to make fun of.”
  – Alexis, [25:02]

• “Hanging out with drunk Brits… trying to figure out, is that Rihanna?”
  – Pablo Torre, [30:58]

• “You can see goals any day of the week… but those chicken fingers—”
  – Alexis, [40:32]

• “When Asian people do stuff… that is what brings out the diehard fandom in me.”
  – Pablo Torre, [42:46]

• “Filipinos, we love basketball even though basketball does not love us.”
  – Pablo Torre, [46:25]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Podcast enemy list, journalism banter: [02:18]–[05:05]
• Ethnic ambiguity & family heritage: [09:27]–[13:15]
• Inside ‘Around the Horn’ mechanics & Japanese toilets: [15:31]–[18:44]
• Le Batard Show “gasbagging” experience: [21:45]–[25:13]
• Soccer beginnings & Brazil World Cup stories: [26:52]–[30:24]
• Messi’s Inter Miami debut / Chicken fingers gate: [37:11]–[41:00]
• Filipino athletes, Pacquiao stories, diaspora pride: [42:46]–[49:44]
• Filipino Women’s National Team and how they recruit: [49:44]–[51:14]
• Wrapping up, games, gratitude, community: [52:31]–end

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Tone & Style

The episode is brash, fast-paced, and constantly self-mocking, blending genuine reflections with unflagging humor and self-deprecation. Pablo naturally matches the Cooligans’ energy—open, authentic, unafraid to poke fun at his own mistakes or the sports/culture machinery he works within.

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For fans of sports media, soccer, pop culture, or the immigrant experience, this crossover delivers raw comedic insight, confessions, and cultural commentary—plus definitive evidence that sometimes, food really does get in the way of history.

Transcript

[A]

You're listening to Giraffe Kings Network.

[B]

I mean, the level of guest on this show just continues.

[C]

It even surprises me.

[B]

Oh my God. I mean, how low can we go? No, it continues to rise to such an impressive level.

[C]

We going at just the bowels of the Internet, the dregs, the dregs of our own company.

[B]

Just go down and see if anyone's begging for change. And then it was this guy.

[C]

We bumped into this guy at the water cooler. We said, is there a water cooler? And we said, hey, buddy, we know you ain't got nothing going on, bro.

[B]

Fam, you bored, right?

[C]

Come through.

[A]

You guys guilted me.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You played to my most sympathetic impulses, right? And I showed up at what feels like a place where sometimes they shoot pornography.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Sometimes we be right now, ladies and gentlemen, the voice you're hearing is Pablo Torre, everybody.

[C]

What's good, Pablo?

[A]

It is a pleasure in all the ways to be here. It is yearly.

[B]

Speaking of pleasure, back to that point.

[C]

I mean, I would say, you know, you said sometimes they film pornography here, but I would say sometimes they do a soccer podcast here, and the majority is pornography.

[A]

Also, also, also explicit.

[B]

I mean, our podcast is just us verbally fellating ourselves.

[A]

Same nobody disclosures.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

Very nice, Pablo. Just. I just want to make sure nobody, nobody turn on a black light in.

[B]

This room or Pablo Tor will find out.

[C]

Okay? We don't need that hard hitting investigative journalism, okay? All we do is hard hitting in here. No journalism.

[B]

For people.

[A]

Sometimes soft hitting.

[C]

Yeah, sometimes it's tasteful.

[B]

It's everything hard hitting.

[C]

With consent, of course.

[B]

Let's. Let's talk about. Because this brings up a good topic. Your podcast probably Tor finds out also here on. On the Metal Metal Arc Network. You're always taking people down, bro.

[A]

You're always.

[B]

You're always deep diving into stuff. Does it, does it ever weigh on you, bro?

[A]

My conscience is just wracked with guilt. What does Larsa Pippin think of me? Keeps me up at night.

[C]

How long? Pavltor finds out has existed for just a couple months and has already developed so many enemies. How is it even possible?

[B]

He's got a lot of op.

[A]

Yes, Vivek Ramaswamy is an enemy. Marcus Jordan is an enemy. Larsa Pippen, aforementioned, is an enemy. I think a lot of people who just aren't here for multi syllable words.

[B]

Also yes. Wait, is Marcus the one who owns the store in Orlando? The sneaker store?

[A]

So. Damn trophy room.

[B]

So you're not getting the trophy room. Jordan ones or whatever next.

[A]

There's a. By the way, the fact that you are aware of that is funny to me because I left that part out of the episode. There's a. If I can make another enemy out of Marcus Jordan again.

[B]

Are you gonna talk about the backdooring for the backdooring?

[A]

Speaking of pornographic. The back door I fell into a.

[B]

Lars is like, they're talking about you.

[A]

But it's just the backdooring of like. So do you know this?

[C]

I don't know this.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So you got a very exclusive sneaker.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Trophy room is a store. But obviously the kid of Michael Jordan's kid owns it.

[A]

He gets. He has a plug, it turns out.

[B]

So he gets to do a collab on a Jordan.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

It becomes one of the most highly sought after Jordans. And then as this sometimes happened, let's say there was a cooligan Jordan that was coming out. Maybe one or two would find its way out the back door.

[C]

Gotcha.

[B]

You know what I mean? Or out of a truck. And then they'd be posted online. Triple X. Yeah.

[C]

Right.

[B]

We're going to keep this going the whole episode. But in this case, I don't remember the number, but it was like hundreds of sneakers.

[C]

Ah, okay.

[B]

Were found out. So backdooring is when you know someone at the company that can give it to you. So you. You circumvent the. The auction or the. The lottery.

[A]

Yeah. So he was a villain in the world of sneaker reselling in ways that I did not appreciate. As a reformed sneaker addict myself. I was. I was reminded as to what it's like if Michael Jordan's son was also allegedly a scammer.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And this pissed off so many people and he still had to answer it to this day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was shocked you didn't bring it up.

[A]

So, so fair to criticize my journalism immediately.

[B]

I was just shocked because it seemed such like a. No. My comments with so much the comment.

[A]

So there was a lot that I had to leave out of that episode. And it is funny that, like the episode in which we. For people who aren't familiar with my journalism, we did an episode about Marcus Jordan and Lars Pippin falling in love. Two crazy kids in a mixed up world.

[B]

You know, from the names though, it's two players. It's the Former wife and the Son. Former wife of Skettie Pippen and the Son of Common.

[C]

Meet cute. Absolutely.

[A]

It's Romeo and Juliet if it took place in another unreleased episode of the Last Dance.

[C]

And Juliet was a milf, but still had it. Thank you. Thank you.

[A]

You guys could have been helpful on this episode. Consulting.

[C]

We're always here.

[B]

I do love the fact that you're like, which way should we go with this? Let's talk about the milf.

[A]

So. So they agreed to come on the show. So we did. They have a podcast shout out to their podcast, Separation Anxiety. I. I should plug their show. We listened to all of it, and we did, like, a deep textual analysis of it in which we mostly laughed at its absurdity. And then we invited them to come on the show and they agreed.

[C]

Yeah. Which seemed very cordial, you guys.

[A]

So I thought it was cordial. I was of the impression that we gave them space and a wide berth to sort of discuss potentially. A wide berth. She wanted to have kids by him at some point. So all of that, I was like, great. This feels like a thing where I found out a lot that I didn't expect to know. Like, how there actually is a sincerity to their love. There is. I'm not here to say that.

[C]

I believe it, too. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You listen to them and you're like, they are spending so much time together that if they were faking this, they are the greatest method actors, 100% at.

[B]

This point, early on, you're like, come on. And now you're like, all right.

[A]

And so we met them, we got along, and then weeks later, I guess there's a headline in the New York Post in which Larsa Pippen had called me miserable, which I thought was, on some level, deep inside, very cutting.

[B]

You thought she was spot on.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I was like, damn, how are you? In my conscience.

[A]

But beyond that, I was like, oh, I thought I was gonna be invited to the wedding.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Right, Right.

[A]

And now it seems clear that I am. I'm shadow banned.

[C]

Right. Right. Yeah, it was. I guess the context of it was that there was conversation after the interview was over that they didn't like.

[A]

We did a postmortem in which we discussed what.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And we. Well, okay.

[C]

It was an epilogue. It was.

[A]

Yeah. But it was also like. And in the run up to it, like, what we did was we said, here's how we authentically feel about.

[C]

Yes. Right.

[A]

It feels like Marcus Jordan to us, based on my own reporting and listening to their podcast, was somebody who was always trying to get the attention of his dad.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And this is not a surprise to anybody who's ever heard Michael Jordan say anything. Right. That that guy is not exactly somebody who is deeply invested maybe in the interior lives of his children. He went into the hall of Fame and on the dais famously said that he didn't want to be his own kids because that seems hard. Yeah.

[B]

He also cooked the guy who beat him in high school.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

He was just.

[B]

He invited the guy and cooked. I mean, this is a vicious human being.

[A]

Yes. So he kind of roasted his own kids, roasted his enemies who are, you know, specs relative to him. And then he also to the hall of Fame in Springfield, Massachusetts. And then he also could get worse.

[B]

It was in Massachusetts.

[A]

Correct. And he also complained about how they raised the ticket prices on him because he's Michael Jordan and now he had to pay even more to get these people he hates.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In the audience for this thing.

[B]

So anyhow, we sort of next level.

[A]

Hater connected the psychoanalysis of, like, what it must be like to be Michael Jordan's kid. And, like, why look. And we're not Dr. Freud, but we did attempt some amateur psychoanalysis of, like, okay, so what's here for Markus? What's here for Larsa? And certainly beyond attention, there's also just this notion of how can they be the main characters in a story that they never got to be anything more than a sort of like, fleeting sidekick in. And this was their way. And they called me miserable because I pointed this out.

[C]

Exactly. You've done the work. You've been to therapy a couple times. And so they're like, oh, okay, no, we don't have the.

[B]

Don't make us go to therapy. By virtue of you having.

[A]

I'm told parents are important in therapy.

[C]

I mean, you're weaponizing therapy speak. That's what you're doing.

[A]

I am absolutely guilty of that. That is totally fair. So stolen valor therapist. Stolen valor.

[C]

So look, you know, like we said up top. We are. I can speak for myself. I don't even know. I don't know your age. I think we're fairly similar in age.

[A]

We both have very smooth.

[C]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Brown skin.

[C]

We're both just very young Asian people. People think I'm Asian people. People think I'm Filipino all the time.

[B]

I was gonna say I have Asian in me. Right. Right now.

[A]

You can zoom in on.

[B]

Me going, no, this is the guy.

[C]

Get off the Pablo's half. God damn.

[A]

For those who are just listening to.

[B]

This, I'm using his microphone.

[C]

The problem is that you started the show with making a porn joke and.

[B]

Now that's the game.

[C]

The next 45 minutes, that will be weaved in.

[B]

This is your own.

[A]

I lubricated all of this Larsa was.

[B]

100% right about to do it. I have. I have some Asian heritage.

[A]

What do you got?

[B]

He does.

[A]

What do you got?

[B]

It turns out my great grandfather found this out when my grandmother was going through dementia. My great grandfather Chinese.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Lot of Chinese people in Cuba love.

[A]

To find a secret about my ancestry through dementia.

[B]

I found out my grandfather had a dog. And we're like, oh, we didn't know. And he goes, yeah, we had to go to the doctor and take care of it. And we were like, oh, because he got sick. And my mom's like, no, no. He went to the doctor and got poisoned to kill the dog. We were like, what? This is what you did in Cuba when the dog got old. I'm like, this is why you don't see.

[A]

It was a different time.

[C]

Right. But take care of it. Like it's mafia style. Take care of it.

[B]

You put the hand out on your own dog.

[C]

You take care.

[B]

That's how I was raised. No loyalty, only money. I remember my grandfather, his deathbed, saying, fuck, bitches, get money. And I said, wow, I'm weird. Like, I didn't even know you knew Eng. No, I have. I'm part Chinese. A very small part. He's not.

[C]

Everyone thinks this dude Hawaiian, Filipino, Polynesian. I get it all the time. It usually always depends what part of the country I'm in, which where people guess. Sort of like what, what Asian they're type of used to seeing or whatever.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

But no, I. I've been such a huge fan of you and it feels like weird because I. We're kind of in similar in age that where I feel like I grew up watching you. That I know makes people feel old when you say that.

[B]

He said it like it was accusatory. How dare you make me watch.

[C]

But I grew up with around the Horn and PTI and just watching you on ESPN for so long that you feel like just having you at this table with us. It's like, oh, it's one of my cousins.

[B]

I wish I could mute you.

[A]

Yes, I have long been. So I started doing TV on ESPN. I got hired at ESPN in 2012. And it is 2020. Fucking hell. Yeah, 2024. So for a dozen years I have been ethnically confused as well for other things on television. And what I've learned is people are like, why does this. Why does this Chinese guy have a Mexican name? And vice versa. On Twitter and in the street sometimes. What I've learned is that I think this table, all three of us are just going to be what, like, all of planet earth look like 500 years, 100% going to get all mixed up together, and it'll come out looking like this. For people who are.

[B]

I know I confuse people. Like, if I go to a Spanish bodega, they're like, if I go to a Yemeni bodega, there's a lot of Yemeni bodegas by me. They'll be like habibi when I walk in. And if I go to the Dominican spot, they're like, it's habibi. You know, like, they're not.

[C]

They're always certain it's habibi.

[B]

And I'm like, oh, yeah. Like, hey. And they try to give me shots from behind the. From behind the counter. It's a lot of fun bodegas. But, yeah, we're all kind of, like, ambiguous. No one knows we are. But a lot of people must just assume you're Latino, of course.

[A]

All the time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And doesn't help. I mean, my name is Pablo Torre. Like, it's really hard for me to be, like, indignant.

[B]

You should just carry, like, a pandesal with you everywhere you go.

[A]

So here's the trick. Yeah, exactly. It doesn't help, though, when pandesal is Filipino bread and, like. And it literally is Spanish.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, like, Spanish nouns are all over. Tagalog, which is the main dialect.

[B]

The days of the week are the same as in Spanish.

[A]

Yeah. Fork is tenador. Like, all of this shit.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It doesn't help also, that I took Spanish in high school and college, and so I can speak shitty Spanish.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I can begin to hold a conversation that I then find myself feeling like, you know, Wile E. Coyote during, where I'm just like, I got. Okay, now we've reached the point where I'm about to fall into this canyon.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're like, I got nothing.

[B]

I just feel like at some point you just gotta. If someone says, are you mad? Mexican, just be like, see? And just own it for the rest of the country.

[C]

We all have the same colonizer, so it bonds.

[A]

Right? That's right.

[C]

Or whatever. But this is the thing that I think, why it always resonated just watching you on tv, there's a little bit of, like, you know, I don't see many people in this space that look like that and are also not only, you know, not only just doing a great job at their job, but the nature of, like, around the horn, which is, like, inherently competitive.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Taking sports journalism and saying, all right, battle it out, folks.

[B]

And look, we're not nerds only. We also can compete.

[A]

We can also ruin democracy by inspiring competitive talk show.

[C]

I have a couple of questions. Just the nature of like around the horn, because I. I love the. The. The point aspect and who knows what points matter and who. What the value of anything. But there must be some joy in winning, right? And I don't know. Look, I'm not accusing anything. I'm not. I don't. I don't think it's predetermined. I think it's all them calling them wwe.

[A]

What are you doing?

[B]

Wwe?

[C]

Is that the final. The final segment when the winner gets there, gets the podium and gets to speak FaceTime. It feels. I'm like, how do they nail it so perfectly all the time? You know, so that's why in my mind, I'm like, is it. Did they rehearse that? Is there a teleprompter?

[B]

Are there like three people with ending monologues that they don't get to use?

[C]

Right, right. So you don't. You don't have to give the game away if that's the case. No, no, no.

[A]

It's something that we all take pride in, I think, because the thing we hate the most as people who do that show is when we gotta retape something. Cause somebody fucked up because it is taped, but it's live to tape. And so the premise of, like, what we're really. As much as it is.

[C]

And.

[A]

And to be clear, I am winning for me, I'm winning for the ability to have 30 seconds unencumbered, that I can just say whatever. I mean, within reason. Yeah, yeah, what? Whatever I want.

[B]

Thank God you didn't become a comedian. I get to talk by myself. Every show would be an hour.

[A]

Straight up. Straight up.

[C]

Tony. Giving you the reality, giving you the light.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just deeply masturbatory in all those ways. But in this case, it's also just the pressure of. We have. We've had. We. We have a clean sheet. You know, we're like, oh, like, no mistakes. We're rolling. Like, don't mess this up for everybody else.

[C]

Right, right.

[A]

And so I think there is the pressure comes from that gotcha. Of like, I don't want to be the guy who's forcing everybody to stay late today because he could not articulate his take on why Japanese toilets are superior in the allotted 30 seconds.

[B]

They really are.

[C]

They really are. I went to Japan a couple years ago in 2019, and I mean, just the. Everything about the experience of Going into.

[B]

A lot of buttons.

[C]

A lot of buttons.

[B]

You don't think there's gonna be buttons? There's buttons.

[A]

There are so many buttons. Yeah. It sings to you. Yeah, some of them.

[B]

And the plastic cladding is. Is like, am I allowed to sit on this? Is it gonna eat me if I.

[A]

Sit on this thing and it's warm? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it. So I. This is a real FaceTime I gave, but it was. I got a Japanese toilet seat. Like a home shout out to Toto. I am still holding out for a sponsorship. I do want that Asian in that area. And it's. Look, I have a couple of basic theories about how I spend my own hard earned money from sports, gas, bagging, the things that I use the most. My couch that I sit on every day. I got a nice couch. This toilet, man, it just makes my life easier and better. And I just want to appeal directly. We put cameras, all the cameras. Get a stream of water shot into your butt and thank me later.

[C]

I think that's the clip. That's the clip.

[B]

Yeah. With zero context. Everything else, stand by it. By the way, Taku Sando, an incredible sandwich shop in Greenpoint has a Japanese toilet.

[A]

So the restaurants that have this, I. I could not be more impressed.

[B]

It's. It's a Japanese spot. They make the milk bread themselves. It's absolutely incredible. I walk in the bathroom, I said, oh, they did the whole thing. They went, they went. They went the extra mile.

[A]

They cut off the crust.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they put those different pressures.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Just as you like them.

[B]

I can't understand what any of the buttons on there. I gotta use Google Translate.

[A]

It is dangerous.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Sometimes you sort of like press the wrong button and it's like, oh, this is the ladies button.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like I'm being sprayed in.

[A]

The wrong area and yet I'm enjoying.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. But you know what? Could have also used a little cleaner.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I don't know what to do with this damn Punisher shot at me. But the rest of it I'm okay.

[C]

With you use it.

[B]

Is this the dumbest show you've ever done? As someone who graduated from Harvard, this.

[A]

Is squarely inside of my interests, honestly.

[C]

Perfect. You use the word gas bagging.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And you were just speaking there. It's obviously a Levitar on brand for the Levitard and Friends network. I. So we've done Levitron chastise as well.

[A]

I remember as a listener and I think a fill in host when you guys would join the Show. Dan's show. And when I was listening to it. How has that been?

[C]

Okay, this is great. Let's air it out. All right.

[A]

Please.

[C]

This has been a topic of conversation with a couple people at Metalock because some people listen to it, some people were in the room when it happened.

[B]

Some people were complicit.

[C]

So we've done Levitar show twice. One when you were guest hosting and one when Dan was there and we were talking about Women's World cup and all the kind of controversy with the U.S. women's National Team and when.

[B]

And to give some background, I think we were both very excited to be on the show finally with Dan.

[C]

It is an honor for multiple reasons.

[B]

I think just career wise, it was important for Christian and I, but also Cuban American.

[C]

Cuban American.

[B]

Christian was very excited. When Christian gets excited, it. You could see it, you could feel it.

[A]

He's also kind of our boss.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. A little bit.

[C]

So.

[A]

A little bit.

[C]

I didn't realize I was walking into a performance review, but I thought I was just there to talk about soccer and stuff, but that the term gas bag came up. I'm. I go on this long winded speech or diatribe.

[B]

You were yipping on that episode, to be honest.

[C]

But because. Because Dan threw out the question about, you know, you know, essentially like the U.S. women's National Team kind of riling.

[B]

Up people and getting people upset by some context. He asked the question, you started talking, Dan walked off set and then came back and you were still answering.

[C]

But this. But it was a serious issue because, you know, Rapinoe was getting criticized.

[A]

Layers to that.

[C]

And then his response after he walked back in while you're talking from the bidet that he just used, the Japanese.

[B]

Story that he keeps just off camera.

[C]

You would think it would be calmer.

[A]

God bless. That specific.

[B]

He's just holding a tampon. Like, what am I supposed to do with these? I gotta figure out these buttons.

[A]

And.

[C]

And then he said, oh, Christian, you're.

[B]

Kind of a gas.

[A]

No.

[B]

He goes, alexis, what's it like working with this gas bag? I mean, which is even more disrespectful to aim it at me.

[C]

I'm just on a zoom call, trying to have a good time.

[B]

And Pablo, you may remember this, I stood. I stood on business. I stood 10 toes and defended my homie.

[C]

Let's go.

[A]

How'd that go?

[B]

I don't care if it's your boss or not. Nobody disrespects my podc.

[C]

But you, as someone who is also called the Gas bag. Yes, I guess, you know, how do you handle it?

[A]

That is a show. We can say this now. Enough time has passed. We can be truthful about what it's really like to go on Dan's show. They're bullies.

[C]

There it is.

[A]

So, no, but in a way that, like, part of it's just weird. So I see it all through the lens of, like, me explaining to my mom, okay, so I'm going to give up Disney health care to work for the man who made fun of the fact that my wedding had a black tie dress code before it happened and he was invited. It was like this. Like, I remember the first.

[B]

What was he upset that you didn't write flat brims optional? What was he upset about.

[C]

Of all people, judging how people dress?

[B]

Good God.

[A]

He said, do not serve of this man. It was a generic picture of a guy dressed like a skateboarder. Dan was very offended.

[B]

There's just someone dropping an Amex black card at a Miami.

[C]

Wearing. Wearing a Chachki store wearing the finest bowling shirt.

[B]

Yeah, the V neck bowling shirt. Where'd you find it, Dan?

[A]

Dan is dressing better lately because I think he has now been bullied sufficiently, by the way. But I remember the first time I ever went on. I think it was. Yeah, I was doing. I was working at ESPN the Magazine. Dan was at ESPN hosting the show still at the Mothership. And I was doing a profile of Canelo Alvarez for ESPN the Magazine, and it was the Floyd Canelo fight. And so another writer had Floyd Mayweather and I had Canelo, and we were going to do for the magazine like, these two sort of like alternate covers. And so we were on assignment together covering two different camps. And. And Dan decided to have us both on simultaneously. And he was alternating between us, me and Tim Kewan, who's a great writer, really good writer for ESPN the Magazine. And Tim, his question for both of us was like, give me the five most interesting things in your story.

[C]

Damn.

[A]

And Tim, I'll remind you, is covering Floyd Mayweather. Yeah, I'm covering Canelo. Yeah, we've established I don't really speak Spanish. He doesn't really like speaking in general. And so Tim is coming at. He's coming at the show with all of these great stories and nuggets, and I got nothing. And I realized, oh, he's a redhead.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you know that they're a redhead in Mexico?

[B]

Next question.

[A]

I said that five times, but I was there to be put in the dunk tank. And I was just like, oh, that's what this show is. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not being set up to succeed. He's testing.

[B]

We're fodder.

[A]

Yes. We are merely toys for him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I decided to work for that guy. Is the spoiler alert now.

[B]

You can never be asked a question like that again on the show. As opposed to a guest.

[C]

Yeah, it was. Look, I wasn't. After we were done recording, we. We chatted about it, and we kind of. Kind of laughed it off.

[A]

It's a right of. I mean, in all seriousness, it is a rite of passage. I would say that everybody that I am friends with who does that show or has ever done that show, we all have a story in which we sound like the worst version of ourselves because we are trying to impress Dan, and a show that is mostly there to just fuck with us.

[C]

Right, Right.

[B]

You never realize how imposing it is to have, what I think, 35 guest hosts or co hosts, so they flip the camera there, and each of them have something they want to make fun of.

[C]

Like, what.

[B]

What is this scenario? It's the exact opposite of a pep rally. Whatever the exact opposite of a pep rally is, is that. I was like, good God, there's so many people waiting it on us.

[C]

It is weird because you go into it being like, you know, man, I've watched Dan, you know, for the last 15, 20 years, and I'm like, bro, this guy.

[B]

But he's also from up here. I'm like, oh, this is when there's not that many Cuban Americans. I'm like, oh, this is gonna be a cakewalk. And it was no cake. There was no cake.

[C]

There was no cake, sir.

[B]

No, there was no cakewalk. We ran out of cake. Here's some jelly. Deal.

[C]

And this is the main thing. Look, it's an honor, obviously, getting to be a part of Meadowlark media and work in this space. And look, dream come true for us. Right. The fascinating thing is that we are comedians who love soccer. You walk into, you say the word soccer in that room, everybody's like, okay, what's all right? No, I don't know. It's two gods. It's just gonna be. He puts, he's shot.

[B]

Ryan Ruiz pretends he doesn't know the sport. I don't want to be the only one.

[C]

Soccer supporter. So I. I do want to talk about soccer a little bit and your connection to the sport. Obviously, you know, working at espn, I imagine you've been coerced into having to cover this.

[A]

Absolutely.

[C]

From time to time.

[A]

Absolutely.

[C]

And you Know, it must be difficult.

[B]

And challenging pain in your eyes when we bring up the words.

[A]

It was a really hard time.

[C]

So in general. Yeah, for real, no connection to the sport.

[A]

So. Okay, so it starts when. So I played like, you know, soccer on the weekends at like a little Manhattan Kickers. So I was. I was there. I was there playing terribly. I remember having braces and getting a ball kicked into my mouth and having my lips and my mouth fused with my braces. And I was like, this sport.

[C]

When you said braces, I'm like, oh, he scored two goals in a game.

[A]

No, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had braces that psychologically damaged me. So there is that as my most. My most vivid visceral.

[B]

Did you ever ask, like, are there any Filipino legends in the game? And realize.

[A]

No, it seemed pretty clear. Yeah, it seemed. I didn't even need to look it up. It seemed pretty clear that there weren't. But when I was at ESPN and by the way, so I should say my favorite video game of all time is FIFA, right?

[C]

Right.

[A]

And I say that not because I like, nerd out on, like, oh, man. Like, I love. I love using my favorite player like I'm inhabiting his. His body.

[C]

It's not bad.

[A]

It's just that I find it. It's the best. It's really the best video game to get, like, lightly stoned and play. It's meditative. It's like ping pong, weirdly, just constant motion. You get into a flow state. It's the best. And multiplayer with friends is the best. So that was my pretext for the assignment I got. It was the Brazil World cup and I went to Brazil for five weeks and covered the World cup and I wrote columns and I was there for a long time solo, in the. In the era when I could just tell my then girlfriend, now wife, like, I'm gonna be in Brazil for a long time. And she was like, this is a weird job.

[B]

No, it's the World Cup. I swear you could Google it.

[C]

This time.

[B]

This time you could Google it, definitely. Oh, were you based in Rio or.

[A]

I covered. I mean, they had me flying literally every two to three days. So I went to Manaus.

[B]

Went to the, like the middle of nowhere. Yeah, I was bus depot now. Did you know that?

[A]

That tracks. Yeah, I. I went to. And I was booking hotels myself, which I think I was not supposed to do, but I was like on like Expedia or whatever, like booking Brazilian hotels in Manaus and Brasilia and Rio and all these places. But Manaus, I remember I booked a hotel and I was like, let me see what's on the grounds of this hotel. And I walk behind the hotel and there's just a cage with a jaguar in it. And, like, no one else is around. And I'm like, I should probably just not be the only person here.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Next to this, you sure you weren't at the Qatar World Cup?

[B]

You sure you weren't in a Saudi princess estate?

[A]

It was. It was an amazing time, though. It really was. It really. It was one of the. I mean, I had never been on assignment like that. And my main mandate was not to, like, provide soccer analysis. It was to, like, write columns about the scene and the characters. And so in that way, like, as it was for, like, clearly, like, it was. My columns were meant to be for, like, the American audience. And so, like 20 something columns and just churned out shit. And it was. I. I embedded with, like, a bunch of, like, England fans as they were. I. So these are all people, these characters that you guys know intuitively. It's like, oh, they're like this.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I did not realize, like, oh, you guys, like, this whole singing thing is real.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

This whole dressing up as a knight and just like, celebrating the sadomasochism of what it's like to be the place where football is never coming home. I'm just like, yes. Now I get this. This is a great story. So just fighting stuff like that, I mean, it was. It was a total delight. And I retained zero soccer knowledge on the back end.

[B]

I was going to say, it seemed like you really kind of got a chance to understand this.

[A]

I was immersed. I was immersed. And I wish I could say that I had more like, analytical expertise as a result of watching that much soccer, but. No.

[B]

Hanging out with drunk Brits.

[A]

Absolutely. And, like, trying to figure out, is that Rihanna? And it was at the final, I was like, yo. Yeah. I sat next to a guy. I sat next to a guy. This is speaking of the Hispanic, Latino diaspora. I sat next to a dude at the World cup final. Worked for ESPN Brazil.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

His name was Pablo Torres. And we only realized this, like, maybe like a quarter of the way in.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was just like, what are the odds?

[B]

Yeah, man.

[A]

Statistically, it turns out a lot higher than I realized.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I was going to say there's like a billion of both of you guys.

[C]

There's a player in that place.

[B]

It was also John Smith.

[C]

Who plays for Hirona now. Pablo Torre.

[A]

Pablo. Yeah, that's that's an episode that I am working on.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

To. To be a little coy about it because I don't know how I feel about him.

[C]

Okay. I guess we're going to find.

[B]

I can't wait to see this.

[A]

Right?

[C]

So the doing that job. You know, I look us as, you know, I guess experts in, in the game. Even though, you know, some people may not consider us.

[A]

I consider you guys experts. Thank you. In a very unironic, sincere way.

[C]

No, we are deeply embedded in the game. And, and it is, you know, just like some journalists are watching a couple different sports a day high, certain game, like the NFL playoffs. I'm like, if I might catch six, seven minutes of it. I'm like, oh, I see Jason Kelsey taking off his shirt. I'm like, okay, let me tune in. I guess something's going on over there. But with soccer, it is always on. I'm always looking. The fat mob app is always open. I'm like, what game is going on? Always paying attention to it.

[B]

My wife is like another game. It's just constantly.

[C]

Yeah. The sport does not stop. It's always being played somewhere in the world. So the, the way. I think a lot of American soccer fans get frustrated. I mean, maybe the people who are like the experts, I guess I'm sure there's another word for expert, but the people who are deeply embedded in the game, when they see journalism from the perspective of like, let's show Americans what's happening here. We. We get a little bit like, we feel it's like, aren't we. Are we above this? Can we move forward in, in treating us with like kid gloves and let's talk about the sport in a very. Maybe it doesn't have to be exactly the way it is in Europe, but I think that's the. I guess that's my question. It's like, is it fun to do that kind of work of like to talk to the American audience like their children, so to speak?

[A]

Yeah. No, it's. It's. I feel you. I mean there's a. I think there's probably a parallel to like to, you know, to music in that way where it's like, ah, this thing I love, which I feel like is successful respective of irrespective of whether you mainstream, whether the MSM or the elite media cares that I. That. That this band is super popular globally. You know, like the fact that the. You're describing the conflict of. I want people to treat us as legitimate on our own. We don't want to Be condescended to, but you also want to be included.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And I think that is, that's, that's hard. That's hard. I mean, look, the reality of like general sports talk television is, is it's a mile wide and an inch deep, right? So you're covering a million things. And it's meant to sort of, it's.

[C]

Meant to.

[A]

It'S, it's, it's a weird fetish, man.

[B]

It's specific and there's dozens.

[A]

But. Yeah, but there is, there's a certain like unavoidable shallowness to it. And then what you just hope in general is that you don't embarrass yourself. And it turns out that it's harder than it seems sometimes.

[B]

Don't I know that from this weekend?

[C]

Yes. I mean, so this is a, I wanted to bring this up, just get your response. I'm sure you've addressed this, you addressed this. But this is, this is a very out of context clip that I'm gonna play of Pardon the Interruption on espn. You and I mean the legendary Tony Kornizer discussing Messi, Lionel Messi playing in Major League Soccer.

[B]

And when I think soccer, I don't think Tony Kornheiser.

[C]

And look, I'm not going to play it. But in the, before this, this moment, Tony Kornheiser is very adamantly saying he is not a soccer guy. He is not interested. He's also annoyed by people who are really, who really love the sport.

[A]

He is, Kornheiser is extraordinary and I respect this. And we should all do this. I should do more of it. He's just very transparent about like what he likes and dislikes and what he knows and doesn't know. And me in this clip, which is, I can see in the runtime, way too short to do me justice.

[B]

And that's why we're chose that why we chose.

[A]

Very good. It's revenge. You're exact revenge on Lebatard, on me. I get it.

[B]

Well, listen to this, you gas man.

[C]

So here's, this is just a five second moment, but everybody will understand what's going on when you hear it because.

[A]

Leo Messi has done this everywhere. He did this in the Premier League.

[B]

And there it is. We don't need to play the whole clip.

[A]

So, so here is what happens after this is that I Wile E. Coyote myself and I realize, oh, not true. And so what I said was, of course, like in the Champions League, I mentioned the Champions League explicitly. Yes. He's gone to these buildings and beaten.

[C]

These Teammates definitely humiliated Premier League club. And so.

[A]

And so. And again, when I say that I, like, fucking saw Messi play at the World cup final, and I. When I say that I've, like, of course when I. I realize now that, like the other time I saw Messi, I was eating chicken fingers. So not the greatest offensively. But the point is, before you write.

[B]

That you missed a pretty famous goal.

[A]

The point is, I knew what I was doing. I play FIFA. It's. It's not like. So we can just get into this.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

This is when Messi finally arrives.

[A]

So I went to go see Leo Messi. So I was like, I was in Miami. Mike Ryan, of course, like, Inter. Miami booster allows me to sit with him field level. And just for people who don't understand what it's like, I've never been to this, to this building. It feels like a temporary, almost like temporary World cup in Brazil kind of building where it's like, this is. Someone was apologetic on the way, and they're like, this is not what it's gonna be like.

[B]

When are we taking the scaffolding down? No, that is the building.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I walk in and I am surprised, given this description on the front end, that they have an. An excellent spread, food wise.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

I'm starving. I had just gotten off work, and so I guess what you'll play here is what happens after I decide to.

[B]

Which I'm sure all of our fans, listeners and viewers know. But. But I mean, what an absolute movie.

[C]

I mean, this is. This is the game against Kurusasur. Right. Just to confirm, do you remember this game?

[A]

This was, I believe, the. It was the home open or his home debut.

[C]

So this game began.

[B]

You think to yourself, imagine Messi scores a goal in his home debut, and he just so happens to do it. We're gonna show this, and then we'll see what you were doing in that.

[C]

The culmination. We all remember the Free K. It was unbelievable. It was a great moment. And it was an incredible start to Matthews cry. Mls Kore. No, Beckham family was in tears. Everybody couldn't believe what they saw. And this is the moment after the goal was scored.

[B]

So you can see the smoke and stuff.

[A]

Yeah, everyone's celebrating Pablo. You can see there are, like, clips in which you see me burst out from that, like, eating area, because it's like a. A sweet thing and so a sweet, sweet. Both terms valid here. I throw the door open because I was watching this happen, literally holding a plate of chicken fingers. Watching this through the glass. Now, you'll forgive me, because while I'm not a soccer expert, my math. And again, I'm not great at statistics, as the Pablo Torres example shows.

[C]

Maybe.

[A]

But I was like, the safest time to get some chicken fingers is at the very beginning of the game. Like, what are the odds? What are the odds that the very first thing he does in his home debut is this tremendous goal that turns out to be, I guess, historic in this sense.

[B]

I do want to correct you, though. There are no stoppages in soccer, so I would say there's one halftime. Obviously, I would say the safest time is before the game starts, not when Messi is lining up to take one of the most single iconic.

[A]

Listen, what you don't know is how good those chicken. And the good news for me was that there were more goals that day.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And I saw those. And I also had more chicken fingers.

[B]

There were also more chicken fingers.

[C]

There we go. So it's, it is a. I mean, it's a great moment captured and Chris Cody captured.

[A]

I was, I was. Yeah, it was ironic to be captured by Chris Cody as I was being the most like Chris Cody I had ever been.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

It's like truly like. Like that meme of a dad, like carrying a bunch of like, plates and stuff and like a vacuum cleaner. That was me with chicken fingers.

[B]

Also, just to say, like, when I found out, when I saw this clip, I was like, no, I get it. Chicken fingers over a goal. You can see goals any day of the week.

[C]

I mean, they must have been good because, I mean, I. I'm trying to think of. When it comes to stadium food, we've been to a lot of stadiums and, and some of the soccer stadiums have some pretty good hospitality. I mean, the first one that comes to mind, and I've never been there for an NFL game, but Mercedes Benz Stadium, Atlanta United matches. What. I mean, the best. I think I've been around. I think you got a Chick Fil.

[A]

A in there too.

[B]

They do not open during NFL games.

[A]

Because they're on, right? Yeah, because of the bigotry.

[C]

Okay. They could just get past that little part.

[B]

Are you. Are you at least willing to beat us halfway?

[C]

So the.

[A]

We'll concuss them. Does that make it okay?

[C]

Yeah, the. I mean, what was it? Minnesota United had a. Minnesota had a pretty good spread. We've.

[B]

We've seen.

[C]

LAFC's suites are pretty good. Okay. All right, I want a couple other things. I want.

[B]

Yeah, let's Talk about like the, the world of sports television.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

You still do work with espn?

[A]

Yes, I do. Around the Horn and pti. Still on a freelance basis. I show up every week and put myself at risk of being memed by asshole soccer fans.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. All right.

[B]

Talking to two of them right here.

[C]

We run those accounts editing for the clicks.

[B]

Follow us at Pablo Torisucks.

[A]

Oh, God. People still get my mentions about that, by the way.

[B]

Really?

[C]

About the Premier League thing? Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, look, I get it. Of course. What's saddest to me is that my own, my only move is to be the sad person who's responding.

[B]

Like, there's more context, there's more to it.

[C]

I mentioned the Champions League. For us, soccer brings a, a level of, of joy and, and community that I, you know, that that's why I, I love basketball. I'm a big Knicks fan, but it never provided the community that I think, you know, I'm an nycfc. We're both NYCFC fans that provided that. It's just something that's very, very different. Is there any, like, if we can't make you a die hard soccer fan, what is the, the thing that, that brings out that die hard soccer fandom in you?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When Asian people do stuff.

[C]

Let's go.

[B]

Just any Asian doing anything.

[A]

Maddy Pacquiao, was that for me? Like, talk about, I mentioned before, like, speaking of problematic people in terms of just like their beliefs about homophobia.

[C]

Who.

[A]

I'm just like, never mind that. This chicken sandwich is awesome. Manny Pacquiao, bro.

[B]

This dude taking a lot of punches to the head. Can we just.

[A]

It's unfortunate that he was literally elected senator. And so it became even more, I was like, come on, dude.

[B]

Didn't he also release like a, like a ballads album?

[A]

Oh, yeah. So I covered him. So the first story ever Different Sports Illustrated was a Manny Pacquiao profile. It was the first real magazine feature I ever wrote because I was like, yo, I, I, I, I think this guy is good. And I know that because I feel my body, like, electrified. I cry when they sing the national anthem before his fights and he goes and beats up a Mexican dude. The Mexicutioner, by the way, it's not a random, like, Right, right. Literally.

[C]

Yeah, he, Nah, he's, he wasn't racist. He wasn't racist.

[A]

He was concussing those Mexicans consensually.

[B]

You're like, I cried. I, I felt it, I felt so passionate. When he beat up Mexican dudes, he meant because he. He had to fight so many Mexican.

[C]

Guys in the ring, not at the border. Just clarify.

[B]

Although if you've heard some of his thoughts, I don't think you'd be opposed to going to the border, doing it again.

[A]

Oh, my God. But. But. And likewise, by the way, when he got knocked out by Marquez and he became a meme, I was like, this doesn't feel good. But. So that was, though, as I mentioned before, like, what I didn't feel in soccer, playing FIFA. I did feel like, oh, this is my avatar. You know? Like, I felt like he represented me. He was emotional, and he did in all the genetic and ancestral ways, but that has just blossomed into pretty much anybody. I can find trace amounts of Asian in.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Are you just watching the Jabberwockies dance like Filipinos?

[A]

Absolutely. Yes. Beneath those masks is this face.

[B]

Just all of them.

[A]

All of them, bro.

[B]

Growing up, I used to go to a lot of Filipino parties, and I'm like, y' all sure you're not Jamaican? It was basement parties. We sweating.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It was crazy. Every dad would rip the door off their daughter's bedroom. This was a common thing. Every. Every woman. Every young woman in a Filipino house I grew up going to had beads or a curtain for a door because the dad was pissed off they had a boyfriend and would rip the door off the hinges.

[A]

My daughter's four, but that do is getting unhealthy.

[B]

You're practicing.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. But so. But to your point about, like, the Filipino rituals at a party, like, when I profiled Manny Pacquiao, I was embedded in his entourage. Truly. I was, like, blended in as a Filipino dude among literally 40 Filipino dudes.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And covering boxing, by the way, is the best, because you just. Because they don't care, you'll go to, like, a party at their hotel room, and it's just like, oh, the journalist is here. Whatever. I get punched in the head professionally.

[B]

Don't hide the drugs.

[A]

Just like, there's a bar. We're gonna set up a bar at the. It was. It was. It felt like almost famous to me. I was like, oh, this is the. This is how I got hooked into sports writing. As, like, this is this calling was I get to do this, and I get to, like, be in these rooms. And so, anyway, so part of what happened was Manny Pacquiao would just sing karaoke all of the time.

[B]

It's not what you expect.

[A]

And so he has a terrible voice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But he is Filipino, and so he loves it.

[B]

It. He has a Number one album.

[C]

No.

[A]

Yeah, he has, he has so much success as a recording artist. That has nothing to do with his actual ability to sing. And it. So the other thing I did, because Filipinos love several things. Unhinging the doors of their daughters. Karaoke and basketball. Damn basketball. I mean, Filipinos, we love basketball despite the fact that basketball does not love us. Right.

[B]

So it does not complement the.

[A]

It's. It's so. So as a matter of fact, like in the Filipino basketball, the Philippine Basketball association, there are rules around like number of imports and I believe there used to be. I have to check if it still is in place to like a height requirement almost of like, because we're not. Again, statistically speaking, it's not friendly to us this game. However, Manny Pacquiao loves it and I recommend that all of us at some point just revisit it. Footage that's on YouTube of Manny Pacquiao shooting a jumper because it's a catapult. It's incredible.

[B]

Just punching the ball.

[A]

But I say this because in the course of doing this reporting and I covered him and I covered his later Mayweather Pacquiao fight for ESPN as well as part of an entourage embedded member. I played pickup with Manny and again upwards of 40 other Filipino dudes and these games.

[B]

Wait, did he play in the Filipino basketball associations?

[A]

I can't tell. This is an exhibition.

[C]

Or if we just mute it so we could just look at the highlights as a side. No.

[A]

Like one of the teams is Blackwater and I'm like, I don't know if that's the military contractor scale.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Very weird sponsor to have. But that's Manny Pacquiao shooting a three. Which way?

[B]

Just like it looks like if. If your four year old daughter threw something.

[A]

Yes. Your four year old daughter whose doors now beads.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If she was asked to shoot at three, it would look like Manny Pacquiao shooting at three.

[B]

It went in.

[C]

But this is like basically Obama playing basketball.

[A]

So it's worse than that.

[B]

His shot kind of went.

[C]

No, no, no. But I'm thinking as far as how people defend against him.

[A]

So that was my point actually was that when I played pickup with him, it was actually like playing hockey with Vladimir Putin. Putin. It was like he's gonna score a million goals and all of us are going to nod.

[B]

Like it's actually being in an uncle killing contest with Kim Jong Un. You're just gonna let him win, you know?

[C]

Okay. I mean, my man, he got movies.

[A]

Yes. But in, in. Yeah, he's by the way, one of the greatest athletes of all time. The greatest Cavs, I would argue, in sports history.

[C]

Oh, I mean, Manny Pacquiao, that's high praise coming from someone like you.

[A]

Absolutely, absolutely. But this dude is also a dictator at times, ideologically, and in terms of how he is defended.

[C]

Right, right. Yeah. He lost the ball there and. Yeah. That. That guy's never been seen again. He's not seeing his family. Okay. Okay.

[A]

So I don't know why I started talking about, oh, it's who I root for. Right, right, right, right. It was. Pacquiao was, I think, the most. I haven't had a. To sound like a eugenicist. I haven't had a full blooded Filipino really captured my heart in that way since, and I'm hopeful.

[C]

Okay. Did you by any chance, did you watch or get a chance to see the Filipino women's national team during the Women's World Cup?

[A]

Yes. Because they had an incredible story.

[C]

A historic run.

[A]

A historic run in terms of accomplishment and also an amazing story in terms of how that team was assembled.

[C]

Right, right, right.

[B]

A lot of American college students.

[A]

Yeah. And again, and this is the trick of, like, I mentioned the diaspora and all that stuff, but, like, what do you do when you're the Philippines and you're starving? Like, the Philippines love sports, obviously. So what do you do when you're starving for athletic success? But also in order to get that success, you need to be creative in terms of who's on your roster. So, like, the Philippine basketball national team, like, Andre Blatch was on the team. Former Washington wizard center, who is a very sad person to elevate your national program. He's not Filipino at all, but they passed legislation to make him a naturalized citizen.

[C]

Right.

[A]

So anyway, in the world of soccer, I was like, oh, I know how this works. But what was my. It was a great story, I think, on Yahoo. Yahoo Sports, about how it was assembled. I was jealous of this story. I didn't know about it. It's a couple dudes just, like, literally posting on message boards, like, combing the bios of, like, to your points, college soccer teams in America and truly being like, I see a trace amount of Filipino in that person.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then reaching out and finding out that, oh, some of them, they, they are containing those trace amounts and they would love to play in the Olympics. And that's how that team came together. And it's wild.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

For the World Cup.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So awesome.

[C]

Yeah. Look similar to the Premier League gaff. You know what I mean? This guy. But the, the, the I. I recommend if you have heard Between Two Worlds is the podcast from Meg Reyes.

[A]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[C]

And. And so if people.

[A]

She also covered this. It's. It's a really.

[C]

It's an amazing, great story podcast series about it. So. So I like, I like hearing that. I mean, I. I think the, you know, everybody gets into the sport in their own way. And, and a lot of times, you know, it's why we have World Cups to begin. The. The display of the sport is how you get new fans. Most especially American fans are always like, oh, I got into soccer because of the 2008 World Cup 2012. And. And there was a player they liked, and then they ended up getting, you know, hooked.

[A]

So, yeah, Kyle Beckerman radicalized me.

[C]

Right, right.

[A]

People often say that. Those dreads.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I wrote a story about Kyle Beckerman's dreads. If you couldn't tell, I was like that guy, man.

[B]

So they really put you on some wild go to Manus. Talk about a white guy with dreads. Well, we're really gonna get a lot of soccer fans this way.

[C]

Pablo, we have to. We have to wrap up. But I mean, we have so much to discuss. Hopefully we might have one time for a game of FIFA. I don't know.

[A]

You beat me as Street Fighter at the holiday party.

[C]

Yeah. Which is why I wore this shirt.

[A]

I noticed Sonic boomed my ass.

[C]

Unfortunately, I got this shirt of guile.

[A]

But I would like to exact my revenge at some point.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

When I don't have to go to work.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For our oppressive.

[C]

We'll invite you back and. And we'll get some a game of FIFA in so. So you can try to get your revenge.

[A]

So I can play as Leo Messi and not make that mistake ever again.

[C]

Dude, Pablo. Everybody just go check out Pablo. Tory finds out.

[B]

Imagine your team scores a goal while you're getting chicken fingers. Wouldn't that be hilarious?

[A]

I'm going to bring chicken fingers.

[B]

You're going to hold them behind you the whole time. Come on, dude.

[A]

This is my. This. That is my fetish personal.

[B]

Well, you know what this show's about pleasing our guest.

[C]

Go follow at. Pablo finds out on all socials on. On. On X Twitter and Instagram and. And go do that. Follow Pablo Tor everywhere as well.

[A]

Inhale my gas.

[C]

Great work. Work. I. I especially. I mean, you. We had Dave Sampson in.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Recently. And it was great. And it was. And that was. We Skipper. We got to get Skipper on here as well because I love John Skipper.

[A]

Authentically. Love like so my. On My team at work, like, Ryan Cortez is now in Tottenham. He's been radicalized over the pandemic. My brother, by the way, also, like, I'm surrounded by people who just, like, love Tottenham. Now. John Skipper is one of those people, but he goes way back. And so, like, like, he. He is a. He is. He's very busy man. Former most powerful person in the world of sports. Ran the most profitable media business in history of media. He will walk by a screen playing a Tottenham game and just stop and watch.

[B]

That's how we get him in here. So honestly, we got a series of laptops, TV on a. On a fishing pole, just playing. Playing D highlights in the 80s.

[C]

That's right. We. We did get to meet. Meet Skipper with Grand Wall, Grant Wall. He invited us to what's the Bar? And we would watch games, and that's where we met Skipper. But watching the episodes with. With that. With Skipper and Samson are. Are literally one of the most informative shows about sports.

[A]

I can't get sporting class.

[C]

Yeah, it's absolutely remarkable.

[A]

I love doing that with them. They are both. Both deeply, like, actually intimately knowledgeable about things. Like, it's, to me, as I said on the show once before, it's like rich guy only fans, like, tell me what it's like when you're buying a billion dollar contract.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. And it's a little yin and yang between them and, you know, and then you have to be.

[B]

The one knows how to say it in public and the other one could care less. And I love them both.

[A]

Yeah. But it's a great dynamic. I'm sporting class, but no, thank you, guys. This has been legitimately, like, super fun for me, and I'm glad to, you know, exorcise some demons that may or may not still be in my mentions.

[B]

Well, it's about to go up.

[C]

Maybe there'll be some kind ones too. Everybody be nice to Pablo.

[A]

Love a kind demon.

[C]

The soccer community. Pablo Torre, thank you so much for joining us. We appreciate it. Everybody. Follow us. SoccerKooligans on all social channels. You know, be kind to us as well.

[A]

They deserve it.

[C]

Hit the subscribe button. Share the podcast. Tell your friends. We all love Pablo. So let people know. Hey, Pablo was on the Cooligans in. In what might be a pornography studio. So definitely, we'll see what happens.

[B]

Also, Marcus, if you see us in your store in Orlando, don't hold it against us every time, okay?

[C]

Join the Patreon for the exclusive Pablo content that you really want to see. All right? We'll be back soon, everybody.

[B]

Love you.

[C]

Cheers.

[A]

Cheers.