Podcast Summary: Pablo Torre Finds Out x Cooligans – Pablo Torre Chose Chicken Fingers Over Watching Messi’s First Inter Miami Goal!
Pablo Torre Finds Out • Le Batard & Friends • Jan 23, 2024

Overview

In this lively, irreverent crossover episode, Pablo Torre joins The Cooligans (Alexis Guerreros and Christian Polanco) for a sprawling, comedic, and introspective conversation that navigates the worlds of sports journalism, identity, soccer fandom, infamous podcast moments, and, infamously, why Pablo missed Lionel Messi’s first Inter Miami goal—in favor of eating chicken fingers. The trio riff on media culture, immigrant backgrounds, Filipino pride, and the ongoing struggle to make soccer matter to American audiences.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Podcasting, Enemies, and Gasbag Reputation

• Pablo tackles the “gasbag” label—how sports media, especially shows like Around the Horn and Pardon the Interruption, balance performative arguments, entertainment, and actual analysis.

• Pablo jokes about accumulating “enemies” in the industry, mentioning Vivek Ramaswamy, Marcus Jordan, and Larsa Pippen ([02:38]).

• The Cooligans and Pablo dissect the infamous “trophy room backdooring” sneaker scandal involving Marcus Jordan.

  “My conscience is just wracked with guilt. What does Larsa Pippen think of me? Keeps me up at night.”
  – Pablo Torre, [02:24]

2. Identity, Race, and Fitting In

• The hosts and Pablo swap stories about their ambiguous ethnic backgrounds and the way their appearance often confuses people, especially in diverse New York City settings ([09:27]-[12:45]).

• Pablo discusses the “brown-skinned, ethnically ambiguous” future of America—and laughs at being mistaken for various backgrounds.

  “I think this table, all three of us are just going to be what all of planet Earth looks like 500 years from now…getting all mixed together.”
  – Pablo Torre, [12:30]

3. Life Inside ESPN and ‘Around the Horn’

• The mechanics of Around the Horn: Despite its competitive trappings, it’s “live to tape,” and the real win is getting the last word ([15:31]-[16:15]).

• Joys and pressures of winning FaceTime; and, a genuine appreciation for Japanese toilets—a surprisingly extended, funny tangent on bidets ([16:34]-[18:44]).

  “My philosophy is spend money on what you use every day — and let me tell you, this toilet makes my life easier and better.”
  – Pablo Torre, [17:09]

4. Dan Le Batard Show War Stories

• The Cooligans recount the intimidating experience of being razzed by Le Batard and his crew—an “opposite of a pep rally.” Pablo affirms that being gently bullied on Dan’s show is a rite of passage ([21:45]–[25:13]).

• Pablo shares his own “dunk tank” moment when he had little substance to share while covering Canelo Álvarez compared to a colleague covering Floyd Mayweather ([23:43]–[24:18]).

  “It is a rite of passage. We all have a story where we sound like the worst version of ourselves trying to impress Dan on a show that is mostly there to just fuck with us.”
  – Pablo Torre, [24:40]

5. Soccer Fandom: Confessions & American Perspective

• The difficulty of being a mainstream journalist discussing soccer for a U.S. audience: Making it accessible without condescension ([33:35]–[34:52]).

• Pablo’s soccer background: Brief childhood stints, FIFA video game obsession, and being sent to Brazil for the 2014 World Cup—where he found himself more comfortable covering “the scene” than the tactics ([26:52]–[30:24]).

  “I was there for five weeks…not to provide soccer analysis, but to write about the scene, the characters. For the American audience.”
  – Pablo Torre, [28:20]

6. The Messi Chicken Fingers Incident

• The main event: Pablo’s viral gaffe—why he missed Lionel Messi’s iconic debut Inter Miami goal while in the stadium: he was getting chicken fingers. He explains the context (stadium setup, timing, logic) and takes the razzing in stride ([37:11]–[41:00]).

  “My math was: The safest time to get some chicken fingers is at the very beginning of the game. What are the odds...? And of course, what happens—Messi scores that goal.”
  – Pablo Torre, [39:21]

• The Cooligans commiserate; stadium food war stories are exchanged.

7. Representation, Filipino Sports Icons, and Finding Identity in Fandom

• For Pablo, diehard sports fandom arises when he sees Asian (especially Filipino) representation: referencing Manny Pacquiao as the avatar of Filipino pride despite problematic sides ([42:46]–[46:21]).

• He shares stories of playing pickup basketball with Pacquiao, the quirks of Filipino basketball culture, and covering Pacquiao’s entourage.

  “Manny Pacquiao was that for me… he represented me. He was emotional, and did in all the genetic and ancestral ways.”
  – Pablo Torre, [44:39]

• Discussion of the Filipino Women's National Soccer Team—assembled via American diaspora—offering new hope for Filipino pride ([49:44]–[51:14]).

8. Sports Television, Social Media, and Memes

• Pablo addresses being memed by “asshole soccer fans” over his famous slip (“Messi did it in the Premier League”) and how social media amplifies gaffes ([41:32], [41:57]).
• The nature of American soccer fans wanting legitimacy, not condescension, mirrored in sports coverage.

9. Closing: Games, Plugs, and Community

• A playful challenge: Cooligans threaten to exact revenge in FIFA as Pablo plots a comeback after losing at Street Fighter ([52:31]).
• Both sides promote each other’s projects (Pablo Torre Finds Out, The Sporting Class, SoccerKooligans).
• Appreciation and camaraderie close out the episode.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “On some level, deep inside, [being called miserable by Larsa Pippen] was very cutting… I thought I was going to be invited to the wedding.”
  – Pablo Torre, [06:39]

• “If someone asks, are you Mexican? Just say ‘sí’ and own it for the rest of the country.”
  – Alexis, [14:01]

• “We can also ruin democracy by inspiring competitive talk shows.”
  – Pablo Torre, [14:45]

• “You never realize how imposing it is to have, I think, 35 guest hosts… all with something they want to make fun of.”
  – Alexis, [25:02]

• “Hanging out with drunk Brits… trying to figure out, is that Rihanna?”
  – Pablo Torre, [30:58]

• “You can see goals any day of the week… but those chicken fingers—”
  – Alexis, [40:32]

• “When Asian people do stuff… that is what brings out the diehard fandom in me.”
  – Pablo Torre, [42:46]

• “Filipinos, we love basketball even though basketball does not love us.”
  – Pablo Torre, [46:25]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Podcast enemy list, journalism banter: [02:18]–[05:05]
• Ethnic ambiguity & family heritage: [09:27]–[13:15]
• Inside ‘Around the Horn’ mechanics & Japanese toilets: [15:31]–[18:44]
• Le Batard Show “gasbagging” experience: [21:45]–[25:13]
• Soccer beginnings & Brazil World Cup stories: [26:52]–[30:24]
• Messi’s Inter Miami debut / Chicken fingers gate: [37:11]–[41:00]
• Filipino athletes, Pacquiao stories, diaspora pride: [42:46]–[49:44]
• Filipino Women’s National Team and how they recruit: [49:44]–[51:14]
• Wrapping up, games, gratitude, community: [52:31]–end

Tone & Style

The episode is brash, fast-paced, and constantly self-mocking, blending genuine reflections with unflagging humor and self-deprecation. Pablo naturally matches the Cooligans’ energy—open, authentic, unafraid to poke fun at his own mistakes or the sports/culture machinery he works within.

For fans of sports media, soccer, pop culture, or the immigrant experience, this crossover delivers raw comedic insight, confessions, and cultural commentary—plus definitive evidence that sometimes, food really does get in the way of history.