Episode Overview

Podcast: Pablo Torre Finds Out
Episode: Revenge & Share & Tell, with Mina Kimes and Dan Le Batard
Date: May 31, 2024
Theme:
This episode dives into the psychology and culture of revenge, explores the evolution of male-female friendships as adults, and debates the science and feelings around intermittent fasting. With Pablo Torre joined by Mina Kimes and Dan Le Batard, the conversation is part introspective, part hilarious confession, and always rooted in both personal experience and broader implications for sports and society.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Control, Pain, and Gender Norms (00:39–05:32)

• Mina Kimes shares her experience with childbirth and how using an epidural left her uncomfortable, not because of physical pain but due to a dislike of losing bodily awareness and control.
• Discussion broadens to cultural and gender-based perceptions of toughness and how pain is processed and communicated, especially by women.
  • “As a woman, you feel like people constantly don't trust your own assessment of your own pain, which is something that really becomes an issue during pregnancy and delivery.” — (Mina, 03:19)
• Pablo & Dan riff on the "scorekeeping" of hardships within relationships, jokingly citing childbirth as the trump card.
• Dan: “Women might not be tougher than men absolutely, but they're tougher than all the men I'm friends with.” (05:04)

2. The Psychology of Revenge, Especially in Sports (05:46–21:47)

• Pablo introduces revenge as the central theme, referencing Vox’s article “Why We Seek Revenge and What to Do Instead,” and ties the topic to sports narratives, like Kyrie Irving’s return to Boston and Michael Jordan’s famous vendetta.
  • “Sports is fueled... Everything about sports is made better when revenge and vengeance and hatred in blood feud form is on the table.” (06:05)
• Mina analyzes why fans crave sports rivalries and revenge narrative—even if athletes themselves may not always genuinely hate their opponents.
  • “It is more entertaining when they don't like each other. I firmly believe that.” (07:58)
• Dan contemplates his own (lack of) vengeful instincts but admits to enjoying a long period of ignoring a former boss’s calls out of passive aggression.
  • “It's simply not acting on the answering of a phone.” (11:04)
• The trio dig into whether satisfaction from petty or passive acts counts as revenge, concluding that the emotional “reward” is fundamental.
  • “Did you get off on this?” (Pablo, 11:29)
  • “It felt good.” (Dan, 11:31)
• Mina reflects on her online behavior, realizing that quote-tweeting trolls is often a micro-act of revenge:
  • “What is that if not the tiny act of revenge? And I do it all the time.” (15:20)
  • Shares a petty, targeted social media clapback (17:00–17:42).
• Pablo confesses to schadenfreude, sometimes reading bad podcast reviews and “finding out” about the critics for a quiet sense of satisfaction.
  • “If you don't apologize to me and leave a five star rating... guess who else is gonna know?” (20:35)

3. Share & Tell: Where Have All My Guy Friends Gone? (21:55–32:11)

• Mina introduces a piece about dwindling opposite-gender friendships in adulthood, especially as people marry or age.
  • “As men and women get older, and especially as they get married, they have fewer friendships of the opposite sex and how common that is.” (23:18)
• Dan & Pablo discuss how most of their adult friendships—particularly with women—come through work, and how limiting environments (like single-sex schools) left them socially “behind.”
• Dan shares a late realization, prompted by his wife, about the ever-present vulnerability women feel—like scanning their surroundings for safety—which he hadn’t considered even in his 50s.
  • “I had never considered... a woman could walk around the earth feeling like prey.” (29:34)
• The group discusses how cross-gender friendships bring empathy and broaden perspectives.

4. Fad Diets and Intermittent Fasting (32:31–46:44)

• Dan introduces a critical article on intermittent fasting, sharing his own success with the practice (eating 8am–4pm) and its impact on his health.
  • “The only thing that has ever worked for me is intermittent fasting, which seems easy enough. Just stop eating for long periods of time.” (32:58)
• Pablo realizes he’s an inadvertent intermittent faster due to his work obsession (“sometimes I don’t eat till 5pm”).
• Mina cannot fathom skipping meals, and describes her approach to healthy eating as “very moderate… but I could not do this.” (41:44)
• Dan notes doctors telling him that intermittent fasting seems to be easier and more effective for men than women, raising physiological and psychological questions.
• The group muses on society’s valorization of tough, restrictive regimes, and how sometimes placebo and personal fit matter more than “the science.”
  • “If your brain is bought into something and it works, keep at it.” (40:55)

5. Emotional Side of Dieting, Food, and Bodies (43:08–47:05)

• Dan discusses decades of struggle with food and dieting, emphasizing the emotional impact and the slow pace of results.
• Mina relates her current struggles with post-pregnancy weight loss and admits, “I absolutely need the fuel... It gets me out of bed in the morning.” (42:51)
• The trio bond over the topic of fiber and, inevitably, pooping—both as a health marker and as a constant in parenting and doctor’s visits, ending on a light, irreverent note.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On control and pain:
  “I just don’t like the feeling of not knowing what’s going on with part of my body. Like, if there is something wrong with it, if you’re numb, you don’t know. And that bothers me a lot.”
  — Mina Kimes (01:55)

• Scorekeeping in relationships:
  “Liz did not use an epidural, and I have lost the high ground in every argument since.”
  — Pablo Torre (03:45)

• Revenge as species-wide impulse:
  “Chimpanzees and elephants are also drawn to revenge…”
  — Dan Le Batard (09:13)

• Revenge’s simple pleasure:
  “It felt good... it's literally the most passive of aggression.”
  — Dan Le Batard (11:31)

• Internet revenge:
  “What is that if not the tiny act of revenge? And I do it all the time.”
  — Mina Kimes (15:20)

• Perspective on all-boys education:
  “I loved it and now I regret it. I want my all boys high school to go co ed.”
  — Pablo Torre (27:17)

• Realizing women’s reality:
  “Have you ever, getting into a car, looked over your shoulder to see if someone’s coming up behind you? ...I have not considered the idea that a woman could walk around the earth feeling like prey.”
  — Dan Le Batard (29:34)

• Intermittent fasting success:
  “The only thing that has ever worked for me is intermittent fasting… I have gone from being very close to diabetic to now all of my numbers are right.”
  — Dan Le Batard (32:58)

• Varied relationship to food:
  “I absolutely need the fuel… It gets me out of bed in the morning.”
  — Mina Kimes (42:51)

• On metrics in dieting:
  “Intermittent fasting is just a clever sort of formalization of again, not eating.”
  — Pablo Torre (44:09)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:39–05:32 – Pain, control, and gendered experiences
• 05:46–21:47 – Deep dive: The psychology, appeal, and performance of revenge
• 21:55–32:11 – Male-female adult friendships: why they dwindle and their cultural value
• 32:31–46:44 – Intermittent fasting: individual experiences vs. skeptical science
• 43:08–46:44 – Emotional impact of dieting, food, and personal vulnerabilities
• 47:05–48:48 – Parenting, children’s books, and silly voices, ending on humor

Tone & Atmosphere

• Candid, introspective, and playful, with confessions of pettiness, blind spots, and ongoing personal evolution.
• The hosts mix humor (Pablo’s NPR-detective threats to bad reviewers, Mina’s “pout pout fish” performance) with real vulnerability (Dan’s struggles with food, late-realized gendered fears).
• Moments of self-awareness abound, with the group calling each other out for faux-purity, showing that honesty and gentle roasting fuel their chemistry.

Conclusion

This episode of Pablo Torre Finds Out is a lively and relatable exploration of why we want revenge (and how we rationalize it), how our friendships and perceptions of toughness change as adults, and what actually works (or doesn’t) when we try to optimize our bodies. Through personal stories and cultural observations, Pablo, Mina, and Dan turn the everyday—pettiness, dieting, friendship—into compelling, smart, and often funny listening.