Pablo Torre Finds Out

Episode: Sex, Love, and One Sick Joke: A Special Sit-Down with Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe

Date: February 13, 2024
Host: Pablo Torre
Guests: Sue Bird & Megan Rapinoe

Overview

This Valentine’s Day special dives deep into the lives, love, and legacies of two celebrated athletes and partners, Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe. In a candid, funny, and moving conversation, Pablo Torre explores how their elite sports experiences shaped their relationship, their contrasting personalities and public personas, the evolution of queer identity in sports, handling life in the spotlight (including major controversies), and their reflections on retirement. With sharp banter, personal confessions, and standout moments, this episode is both a celebration of their impact and a raw look at their post-sports lives together.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Relationship Origin Stories and the Nature of Athletic Attraction

• How They Met/Courted

  • Sue flew to Paris for Megan’s 2019 World Cup Final after not seeing each other for over 1.5 months.
  • Friends bet on whether “Sue was going to get some tonight,” the night before the final, leading to playful banter about “high-end, heavy petting.”
    • [00:16–01:48]
    • “The bet was like, is Sue going to get some tonight? … The girlfriend in me was like, of course. The athlete in me was like, I don’t know, you know, we just hug it out.” — Sue Bird

• Athletic Greatness as Attraction

  • Sue: “Is it the reason? No. But does it, like, make somebody attractive when they’re great at something? Of course.”
    • [06:26]

2. Coming Out and Queer Evolution in Sports

• Generational Differences

  • Megan: “Looking back in hindsight, I was definitely always gay. I wish someone would have just told me when I was like three… But nobody did, which is not really anybody’s place.”
    • [07:10–08:00]
  • Sue: Came out to herself earlier, but didn’t come out publicly until age 37, citing an “old mentality” around privacy and marketing.
    • [12:29]

• Culture & Secrecy in Women’s Sports

  • “It was always like, oh my God, so and so’s gay. Ooh. And we all essentially, like, gossiped about it…I would have died before I let any of my teammates know.” — Sue
    • [08:47–09:49]
  • “Nobody was gonna poke too much, because that’s coming right back to you.” — Megan
    • [10:41]

3. The Marketing of Women Athletes and Shifting Stereotypes

• Pressure to Present as “Straight” and “Pretty”

  • Sue: Told early on to sell the “straight girl next door” image for marketability; acknowledges succumbing to fear as a young athlete.
    • [13:27–14:53]
    • “The only way I was gonna have success from a marketing standpoint is to really sell this, like, straight girl next door.” — Sue (13:27)

• Race, Appearance, and Marketability

  • Megan discusses the double standard: “If you are pretty by whatever that means, you’re like turbo boosted [in visibility] as a woman.”
    • [16:18]
  • “There’s a place for being sexy or having sex… I hope the takeaway from this conversation is not, those prudes.” — Pablo
    • [19:02–19:10]

4. Relationship Dynamics Mirrored in Sports Roles

• Point Guard vs. Soccer “Wildcard”

  • Pablo draws parallels between Sue’s leadership as a point guard—attentive, organized—and Megan’s risk-taking creativity on the pitch.
  • On relationship roles:
    • "Wouldn’t you want Sue Bird leading your team? … You’re the leader of our team." — Megan
      • [24:58–25:07]
  • Sue’s personality: calculated, detail-oriented; Megan: off-the-cuff, spontaneous.

• Conflict Styles & Communication

  • They tease each other about everyday annoyances (not turning lights off, forgetting plans)—with humor and open acknowledgment of their differences.
  • “Sometimes it’s Megan. Which is so bad.” — Sue, on who causes household “turnovers”
    • [25:17]

• Love Languages

  • Sue: “Acts of Service” (both giving and receiving)
  • Megan: “Physical touch, maybe gift giving, words of affirmation.”
    • [31:40–32:00]

5. Spotlight, Controversies, and Public Persona

• Handling the Public & Political Firestorms

  • Megan’s outspoken moments (e.g., about the Trump White House, kneeling for social justice) and internet backlash.
  • “If there was a God, this is proof that there isn’t” — Megan’s infamous joke after her career-ending injury, misunderstood by the public.
    • [54:51–55:08]
  • Sue’s perspective: more measured, cautious in public—the “point guard” role again.

• Role of Social Media and Public Reaction

  • Megan reflects that “the conversation [about kneeling] was always so disingenuous”; in-person backlash was minimal compared to online noise.
    • [39:13–40:41]

6. Retirement: Grief, Relief, and Adjusting

• The “Death” of an Athlete

  • Sue describes the “phantom limb” feeling after leaving sports, the loss of daily rigor, and detaching identity from achievement and age-defying fitness.
    • [58:04–59:26]
    • “It was just like something constantly running in the background… it impacts you, right? … you let go of working out and let go of that, like, what I became connected to.” — Sue

• Megan’s Injury and “Sick Joke” Retirement

  • Missed penalty at World Cup and Achilles tear in NWSL final—both interpreted, with her characteristic dark humor, as “tragically comic endings.”
    • [50:27–51:48]
    • “I mean, can you believe I tore my Achilles in my final game in the first three minutes? … It’s funny. It’s not. But it’s like dark humor. If you can’t laugh at this, you can’t laugh at anything.” — Megan

• Navigating What’s Next

  • Both reflect on how free time and lack of “the voice in your head” is both freeing and disorienting.
  • Discuss wedding plans (“We do want the party…for everybody wondering, you will be invited!”) and uncertain plans for children, emphasizing newfound ability to ponder these choices without the constraint of athletic schedules.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Marketing and Identity:
  “At 21, I was afraid. I don't want to give away all my secrets, but I'm pretty normal. People probably think there’s some crazy story behind the basketball player, but there’s really not.” — Sue Bird, [13:31]

• On Queerness in Sports:
  “I was like, oh, this is awesome. That's kind of my coming out story. I don't have, like, a struggle.” — Megan Rapinoe, [08:00]

• On Handling Internet Backlash:
  “It was all fake. The conversation was being had in a negative way was so disingenuous because it wasn’t about what Colin was saying at all.” — Megan, [39:13]

• Relationship Dynamics:
  “I say this all the time, like, it's annoying being me. I annoy myself. It's not all funny games.” — Megan, [25:32]

• After the Career-Ending Injury:
  “It was a tragic, tragically comic ending. If you can’t laugh at this … you can’t laugh at anything.” — Megan, [51:48]

• On Faith and Sports:
  “If there was a God, like, this is proof that there isn’t. ... Somebody needs to check on the Christians. They’re not okay. They also miss the whole joke.” — Megan, [54:51]

• Retirement Realization:
  “It’s a phantom limb. ... I’m definitely, it’s been difficult, and I have, like, guilt connected to it, especially in the working out part of it.” — Sue, [58:49]

• On the Future (Weddings & Kids):
  “We do want the party that’s going to be very fun and we want to celebrate with all our people. So for everybody wondering, you will be invited.” — Megan, [64:10]

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Description | Timestamp | |---------|-------------|-----------| | Relationship “bet” & sports schedules | How they met and courted | 00:16–01:48 | | Is athletic greatness an aphrodisiac? | Attraction and achievement | 06:21 | | Coming out stories & generational shifts | From secrecy to openness | 07:04–09:49 | | Marketing pressures & “girl next door” | Homophobia & commercial image | 13:27–14:53 | | Role dynamics in sports/relationships | Point guard vs. wild card | 20:17–25:07 | | Conflict & love languages | Communication quirks | 31:15–32:30 | | Handling the spotlight/backlash | Aftermath of “enemy of the state” press | 36:01–40:41 | | “Sick joke” of retirement | Megan’s dark humor on injuries | 50:27–51:48 | | Faith & sports | Megan’s infamous “there’s no God” joke | 54:51–56:03 | | Phantom limb & post-athletic life | Grieving and redefining routines | 58:04–59:26 | | Wedding/kids | Future plans, openness | 62:18–66:20 | | What did you find out? | Reflections on honesty and fear | 67:50–69:33 |

Tone & Language

The episode is candid, irreverent, and vulnerable, with frequent playful teasing and mutual respect between all three participants. There’s a characteristic blend of dark humor (especially from Megan), sports analogies (especially from Sue), and “messy and invasive” curiosity (from Pablo).

Closing

Pablo sums it up with warmth:

“What I found out is that you guys are enjoying freedom.” — [68:39]

The episode closes on a hopeful, personal note—with Sue and Megan excited (though not rushed) for their next phase of life together, beyond the court and pitch, out of the global spotlight, and into whatever bold plays and wild risks they choose next.

For more Sue Bird, check out the upcoming documentary “Sue Bird in the Clutch,” premiered at Sundance.