Share & Bang & Tell with Dan Soder and Katie Nolan

Summary

Pablo Torre Finds Out: Share & Bang & Tell with Dan Soder and Katie Nolan

Release Date: July 11, 2025

In this lively episode of Pablo Torre Finds Out, host Pablo Torre engages in a spirited conversation with co-hosts Dan Soder and Katie Nolan. The trio navigates through a variety of topics ranging from personal anecdotes and pop culture references to the evolving landscape of artificial intelligence. Below is a detailed summary of the episode's key discussions, enriched with notable quotes and timestamps.

---

1. Sun Exposure and Self-Tanning Adventures

00:17 – 03:30

The episode kicks off with Katie Nolan and Dan LeBatard sharing their recent experiences with sun exposure and self-tanning products. Katie reveals her cautious approach to achieving a gradual tan to avoid the dreaded "dyed skin" look.

• Katie Nolan (02:17): "I started using this lotion... it's supposed to be self-tanning gradually because I'm afraid of self tanner. Cause if you do it wrong, your skin is dyed."

• Pablo Torre (03:03): "Your Italian heritage crazy. It's just like it's a high stakes decision."

Despite their efforts, both end up with unexpected results, leading to humorous exchanges about their tanning mishaps.

---

2. Memories from ESPN and Ben Affleck’s Smoking

03:30 – 10:00

The conversation shifts to nostalgic memories from their time at ESPN, specifically recalling an incident involving Ben Affleck smoking cigarettes in the office. Katie shares a vivid memory of seeing Ben Affleck sneak a smoke near her locker.

• Katie Nolan (04:47): "He was always right here. We're thinking of you, Ben."

• Dan LeBatard (06:07): "I don't know. She was there for 30 minutes. That’s ego. You can't tell her she can have..."

The trio reminisces about the challenges of working in a high-profile environment and the quirky moments that became memorable stories.

---

3. Madonna’s Stand-Up Comedy Attempts

10:00 – 19:00

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing Madonna's unexpected foray into stand-up comedy. Dan expresses his surprise and amusement at the pop icon's comedic efforts.

• Dan LeBatard (06:25): "She's done it twice. She's done stand up at the Comedy Cellar. I was there the first time and... I don’t know. I did try."

• Katie Nolan (09:14): "What does sex mean... page eight is... Is that Madonna nipple? That's her."

Pablo shares insights from a New York Times review titled "The Empress has no clothes," highlighting differing opinions on Madonna’s talents beyond music. The hosts humorously critique her stand-up routines, ultimately praising her ability to incorporate humor despite mixed receptions.

• Pablo Torre (11:25): "Some people think Madonna never did have talent or humor or appeal, but I am not one of them."

• Dan LeBatard (17:49): "What's the deal with sex books?"

---

4. The Limits of AI in Humor and Creativity

19:00 – 23:00

The discussion transitions to the capabilities and limitations of artificial intelligence, particularly in replicating human humor and creativity. Katie argues that AI struggles with the social and emotional nuances that make humor effective.

• Katie Nolan (21:48): "AI is a real. Will never be. I think the last thing AI is going to be good at is humor. I don't think AI is funny."

• Pablo Torre (22:24): "Humor is fundamentally social. Implicit context clues."

Dan adds that while AI can mimic voices and generate content, it lacks the "soul" that humans inherently possess.

• Dan LeBatard (22:41): "There's no... They can make it sound pleasing or whatever. And I know with music especially, you can trick it by, like, the counts and stuff... but I just think AI will never be able to replicate, like, the human soul."

The hosts delve into examples like AI-generated ASMR and its inability to fully capture human emotional responses.

---

5. Peter Thiel’s Controversial Interview and the Future of Humanity

23:00 – 27:00

A heated discussion unfolds around a controversial interview with billionaire Peter Thiel, where he questions the necessity of humanity's continued existence. The hosts critique Thiel’s views and the broader implications for society.

• Katie Nolan (23:09): "He takes these long pauses... he's like, I'm trying to teach myself to slow down and allow some silence."

• Dan LeBatard (24:56): "Peter Thiel would feel like you're trying to wipe out humanity. You gotta give us 2 billion."

Pablo contextualizes Thiel’s background, referencing his role in Gawker’s downfall and his ambitions with the upcoming “Enhanced Games”—a project aimed at testing human limits through steroid use.

• Pablo Torre (33:28): "The idea is the brainchild of Dr. Aaron D', Souza... 'this is the route towards eternal life.'"

The segment reflects the hosts' skepticism and concern over the ethical dimensions of such projects.

---

6. Reheating Chicken Parmesan: Culinary Tips and Tricks

35:00 – 37:30

Switching gears to a lighter topic, the hosts explore the best methods for reheating chicken parmesan. Katie offers practical advice on maintaining the dish’s texture and flavor.

• Katie Nolan (35:12): "You have the chicken that... the microwave heats from the inside out. So that's something to keep in mind... I would do that separately."

• Dan LeBatard (35:07): "How do you get 30?"

The conversation blends humor with useful tips, showcasing the hosts’ chemistry and ability to keep the dialogue engaging.

---

7. Nostalgia for Three Ninjas and Childhood Impact

44:00 – 48:00

As the episode progresses, the trio delves into their childhood memories of the "Three Ninjas" movies, reflecting on how these films influenced their interest in martial arts and shaped their perceptions of heroism.

• Katie Nolan (44:18): "I had a crush on one of them. Which ninja did I have a crush on?"

• Pablo Torre (46:39): "Yes. But it's also surf ninjas. I think there was an era by."

They humorously recount their aspirations to emulate the young ninjas, discussing the unrealistic yet inspiring nature of the characters.

• Dan LeBatard (46:03): "That was what got you in there."

The segment highlights the lasting impact of pop culture on personal development and interests.

---

8. Chekhov's Gun and the Art of Maintaining Browser Tabs

48:00 – 50:00

Concluding the episode, the discussion turns to the principle of Chekhov's gun in storytelling and its playful application to their habit of keeping numerous browser tabs open.

• Katie Nolan (49:30): "Every element in a story be necessary... If a gun features in a story, there must be a reason for it..."

• Pablo Torre (49:44): "And to create the through line through this whole episode."

The hosts use this literary concept to humorously justify their looped dialogues and scattered discussions, reinforcing the episode's theme of interconnected topics.

• Dan LeBatard (49:21): "Keep them all open. Never, never shut your tabs."

---

Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Pablo Torre Finds Out seamlessly blends humor, personal stories, and thoughtful commentary. The dynamic interplay between Pablo, Dan, and Katie keeps listeners engaged, offering both entertainment and insightful reflections on contemporary issues. From nostalgic reminisces to critical takes on AI and societal advancements, the episode exemplifies the show's commitment to in-depth and entertaining conversations.

Notable Quotes:

• Katie Nolan (02:17): "I started using this lotion... it's supposed to be self-tanning gradually because I'm afraid of self tanner."
• Pablo Torre (11:25): "Some people think Madonna never did have talent or humor or appeal, but I am not one of them."
• Dan LeBatard (22:41): "There's no... They can make it sound pleasing or whatever. But AI will never be able to replicate, like, the human soul."
• Dan LeBatard (24:56): "Peter Thiel would feel like you're trying to wipe out humanity. You gotta give us 2 billion."
• Katie Nolan (49:30): "Every element in a story be necessary... If a gun features in a story, there must be a reason for it."

For more engaging discussions and deep dives into diverse topics, follow Pablo Torre Finds Out on YouTube, Instagram, X, and subscribe to Pablo's newsletter.

Transcript

[Pablo Torre]

I'm Pablo Torre and this episode of Pablo Torre Finds out is brought to you by Remy Martin. 1738 Accord Royale. Exceptionally smooth cognac for all your game day festivities. Please drink responsibly because today we're going to find out what this sound is.

[Dan LeBatard]

What were you doing out there? We put you in the human body for once and you screwed it up. The water goes on the inside.

[Pablo Torre]

Right after this ad.

[Dan LeBatard]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses. Monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. Hi, this is Jevon, your blinds.com design consultant.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh wow, a real person. Yep.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm here to help with everything from selecting the perfect window treatments to.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, I've got a complicated project.

[Dan LeBatard]

No problem. I can even help schedule a professional measuring install. We can also send you samples fast and free.

[Katie Nolan]

Hmm. I just might have to do more.

[Dan LeBatard]

Whatever you need.

[Katie Nolan]

So the first room we're looking at is for shopblinds.com now and save up to 40% site wide. Blinds.com, rules and restrictions apply.

[Dan LeBatard]

Way we left the house and we went, both of us are going to wear brown cuz we both feel tan. Cuz we went to our friend's pool.

[Katie Nolan]

We both, we saw that I have discovered the sun.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's good stuff that vitamin D. People.

[Katie Nolan]

Out there all the time. I am, I had to. Last year I got prescribed like weapons grade vitamin D. Me.

[Pablo Torre]

Me too.

[Katie Nolan]

They were like t, you need to take this every day for a week. You are.

[Dan LeBatard]

They're gonna find this clip in like 75 years. When we're all mole people. We have to live underground. And they go, could you imagine embracing the sun?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, it feels good.

[Katie Nolan]

I've been out there and I've been using my spf. Don't yell at me. Can I share a secret?

[Pablo Torre]

Uh huh.

[Katie Nolan]

Just here.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

I started using this right before I got the sun. Right before I discovered that the sun will make your skin browner. I got this lotion and it's supposed to be self tanning gradually because I'm afraid of self tanner. Cause if you do it wrong, your skin is dyed.

[Pablo Torre]

Your Italian heritage crazy. It's just like it's a high stakes decision.

[Katie Nolan]

It's scary. So I like dipped my toe in of like this says if I use it like lotion every Day, I'll get a little bit darker, which is how it's felt safe to me. I put this on one time. Look at my elbows. What the hell's that?

[Dan LeBatard]

No, I don't.

[Katie Nolan]

Crazy.

[Pablo Torre]

You can just push in on Katie's.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't know what the.

[Katie Nolan]

What? This thing lied to me. I used it once, and I was like, don't have to worry about how I'm applying it. It's a tiny, gradual tan. Lies.

[Dan LeBatard]

We're a WWE house, so there's no judgment. She's just, like, a pro wrestler.

[Pablo Torre]

My mom is a dermatologist. I do not. This is something that she will call me about. She. She will be mad to hear that I actually just don't use suntan lotion because I'm of the opinion that I have God's natural pigmentation. You know, you don't use.

[Dan LeBatard]

You don't use blocker at all.

[Pablo Torre]

At all. At all.

[Dan LeBatard]

You never at all.

[Pablo Torre]

Your. Oh, certainly my mom has forced it upon me. I have. I have a makeup removal routine, which Katie has witnessed.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

By the way, the seaborts closed. Espn, cdo.

[Katie Nolan]

Shut up. I definitely still had stuff.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, I was going to say.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't know if you really did.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't think I ever cleaned out that locker I had.

[Pablo Torre]

Katie's possessions are now the subject of a Storage wars episode.

[Katie Nolan]

I. Oh, that's cool. That's how that happens.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

Wait, so they shut it all down?

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, they moved not far from here.

[Katie Nolan]

Where they have to pretend you can see the outside.

[Pablo Torre]

Katie Nolan's possessions, though, will they be CGI replicated? Yeah, on the new virtual set.

[Dan LeBatard]

What did you have in your locker? Nunchucks?

[Katie Nolan]

Do not remember. This has happened.

[Dan LeBatard]

Did you have a cutout picture of Mario Lopez on the inside of your locker door?

[Katie Nolan]

And I, shirtless, gave it a smooch. Every day.

[Dan LeBatard]

I feel like you had something super shady in your head. Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Why did you just fall?

[Katie Nolan]

I was. I was remembering. I was having a memory. Okay. I was thinking back to my time when we worked there. It was the building where I found out that Pablo was having a baby. He, like, ran out of work and was like, I need you to do High Noon. Goodbye. I'm having a baby right now.

[Pablo Torre]

That's a fact. That is a factual.

[Katie Nolan]

And I was like, I don't. I don't.

[Pablo Torre]

You did break out into song.

[Katie Nolan]

I did.

[Dan LeBatard]

And you remember Ben Affleck just ripping cigs.

[Katie Nolan]

That's the other one. That is exactly what I was thinking of, is how my Locker was right next to when Ben Affleck came in and ripped cigs in the ESPN office.

[Dan LeBatard]

Boston women immediately, their second thought is either Matt Damon or Ben Affleck. It just immediately is like pheromone.

[Katie Nolan]

He's always right here.

[Dan LeBatard]

He's right here. He's right at the tip of your head.

[Katie Nolan]

We're thinking of you, Ben.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, but he was just.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, I forgot to put my contacts in. In the Uber.

[Dan LeBatard]

Smoking cigarettes. Well, now you're flying blind.

[Katie Nolan]

Can't see anything. Do I look okay?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Should I put the sunglasses back on? Every clip I see of a woman going viral, now she's got sunglasses on.

[Pablo Torre]

Outside of your elbows being racially profiled, everything looks totally normal.

[Katie Nolan]

God, why do I. How do I get rid of this? What do I dip them in ash?

[Pablo Torre]

They're trying to deport your elbows.

[Dan LeBatard]

They wouldn't tell us at Sirius there was a celebrity coming in and they were like, you have to go the back way out of the thing. And, you know, immediately on the show we're like, we work here every day. Why do we have to go a different way? And they're like, no, you have to leave through the back door. You have to go like the long way and leave through the elevator bank on the backside. And we're like, who is coming? And they're like, we can't tell you. It was Madonna. That was it.

[Katie Nolan]

I mean, that was. It is crazy.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't know.

[Katie Nolan]

She's Madonna.

[Dan LeBatard]

Listen.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, I'm gonna go with Katie on this.

[Katie Nolan]

I know that she did that.

[Pablo Torre]

Protocol feels appropriate.

[Katie Nolan]

Is it because she. Didn't she show up at the Cellar or something? She tried stand up comedy.

[Dan LeBatard]

So I. I stand up at the cut.

[Katie Nolan]

She has dropped more than once, but she is still Madonna.

[Dan LeBatard]

She's done it more than once.

[Pablo Torre]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I didn't know that.

[Dan LeBatard]

She's done it twice. She's done stand up at the Comedy Cellar. I haven't been there for either. I was there the first time and. And didn't watch because why would I Actually, I don't know. I did try. I'm not going to lie. I tried to get the video from Liz, but Liz.

[Pablo Torre]

I was going to the manager of this.

[Dan LeBatard]

I love Liz and Liz is, you know, she's a real one to her job. And she's like, I'm not going to give you Madonna's set.

[Katie Nolan]

Come on.

[Pablo Torre]

Madonna's set.

[Dan LeBatard]

I go on.

[Katie Nolan]

I want to film it if we.

[Dan LeBatard]

Can, because I heard the second one. She bombed for 30 first of all.

[Katie Nolan]

No, I was going to say, wait.

[Pablo Torre]

She was there for 30 minutes.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, that's also.

[Katie Nolan]

That's ego. You can't tell her she can have.

[Pablo Torre]

I was going to say that's.

[Dan LeBatard]

She'd be like, fight six.

[Pablo Torre]

That's in the category of. We don't typically let random pop stars.

[Katie Nolan]

Ben Affleck smoking in the building. The cellar especially, is like a. You have to get past to get up on stage there.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, but it's the way.

[Katie Nolan]

But you're not going to say Madonna. Sorry. No. Try the stand.

[Dan LeBatard]

But to her, it's just like, a thing. It's. To her, it's just like, I know. Oh, it's just a room. Oh, it's a comedy club. I don't get. She doesn't give a. She was like, I just want to do this. I want to scratch this itch. And then she did it. And then the thing that I heard was that when she was like, wasn't doing well, she was doing the thing where she was going, you guys hate me. And they go, yeah, no, we love you. And then she just bomb again. And then she.

[Katie Nolan]

You guys are mad at me, which.

[Dan LeBatard]

So I've adopted that. So if you see me, if a joke does not hit, I go, Dan.

[Katie Nolan]

Soder.com for tickets, I go, oh, you.

[Dan LeBatard]

Guys are mad at me.

[Pablo Torre]

On tour, you can see Dan Golden.

[Dan LeBatard]

Retriever tour kicking off in September.

[Katie Nolan]

Let's go unveiling. Sorry to wave my elbow at you.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, do it, dude. I love it. I'm a wrestling fan. You're not upsetting me. I watch people in bronzer every Monday.

[Katie Nolan]

Saying the tour thing.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, it's just dancer.com and Madonna might.

[Pablo Torre]

Be opening, and Dan might be unveiling his. You guys are the baby voice.

[Dan LeBatard]

Are you guys. Do you guys hate me? Just bombing and saying that? It's pretty cool.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't know, man. Somebody's got to try it.

[Dan LeBatard]

Pretty good way out.

[Katie Nolan]

Somebody has to try it.

[Pablo Torre]

How? How often does it happen where someone shows up being like, I famous person feel like I should be able to try my hand at this, and you should enjoy it.

[Dan LeBatard]

Rarely, if ever. I think it's like, Madonna is obviously Madonna, even though I tried to act like they kicked his ass. Ears for Madonna, and it was only Madonna because I thought it was gonna be Prince. Oh, I thought that's who it was the whole time.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, because you got hyped on it being somebody, and then you were like, yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

And I was upset that it was Madonna. But no, the seller doesn't Let, like, celebrities just go do stand up. I think that was, like, a unique case.

[Pablo Torre]

I like Madonna just doing, like, observational comedy.

[Dan LeBatard]

She's like, what's the deal with. Why do I have cones on my breasts? My breasts aren't cones. You go, madonna. That's brilliant. Someone has that style already.

[Katie Nolan]

That's already. You're not going to believe this. Someone does that.

[Dan LeBatard]

What's the deal with sex books? I put one out in the 90s. I don't even know. It's not even a joke.

[Katie Nolan]

These are good books.

[Dan LeBatard]

Wild.

[Pablo Torre]

Wait, her book?

[Katie Nolan]

Her sex book that she got in trouble for.

[Pablo Torre]

Hold on, I gotta. This is. This is something that I'm unfortunately not as familiar with. Oh, it's titled Sex.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

I believe it's called Sex book.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's called Sexbook. Look it up.

[Pablo Torre]

I think I just acquired a PDF of it.

[Katie Nolan]

Good. Free.

[Dan LeBatard]

Might be pixelated.

[Pablo Torre]

I think I'm pirating Madonna's sex book.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

I'll teach you how to.

[Katie Nolan]

You don't read it out loud.

[Pablo Torre]

I don't know, maybe I was going to say, is this Madonna's sex book? And page eight is. Oh, yeah, Is that Madonna nipple? That's her. That's Madonna, right?

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Pablo Torre]

Okay. I mean, she gets blindfolded. She's.

[Katie Nolan]

Is it a blindfold? Yeah, it is.

[Dan LeBatard]

Back when people were still actively using Pablo.

[Katie Nolan]

Thanks. He's circling her nipple with his cursor. Like, I don't see it. And this you'll see right here. This is a nipple.

[Pablo Torre]

This is not. This is not something that she. To know that I was doing. No, you could say sounds worse than it.

[Katie Nolan]

You could save the tab.

[Dan LeBatard]

This isn't a snuff film. This is a book that was released. Yeah, you can buy this.

[Pablo Torre]

Black and white and very tasteful.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, it's. That was the thing. They were like, oh, it's a. It's art. Get over it. Get over it. Squares. So what? I'm sucking my finger looking at my nipple.

[Katie Nolan]

Whatever.

[Dan LeBatard]

That was like a big deal, though. I was obviously hitting puberty around the time that thing was coming out.

[Katie Nolan]

Obviously. Yeah. So it was like formative.

[Dan LeBatard]

So. So I made it look like, what is this the book?

[Katie Nolan]

What does sex mean Now I got.

[Dan LeBatard]

To go back to the bathroom.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm peeing a lot. Peeing a lot. And it's taking a long time.

[Dan LeBatard]

I drink a lot of water. Hydration is very important to me at 12 years old.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm currently reading the New York Times review.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, what'd they give It.

[Pablo Torre]

The title is the Empress has no clothes, so I'm guessing this is going to lean a bit negative.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, now that, kids, is called context clues. What Pablo's doing there would be taught in a class called reading comprehension.

[Dan LeBatard]

Do they do that anymore?

[Katie Nolan]

I don't think it doesn't appear that way.

[Pablo Torre]

At least here's the kicker. Some people think Madonna never did have talent or humor or appeal, but I am not one of them.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, that's a weird way to say that.

[Dan LeBatard]

Has you ever seen her at the Cellar? O. Oh, my God.

[Pablo Torre]

She always had a witty edge to her act that suggested she was not taking herself too seriously. Maybe sex can be a warning about what happens when pop icons become bloated one way or another. Think of Elvis in Las Vegas, and you'll have an idea of where Madonna is heading if she doesn't watch out, period. 1992, page seven of the national edition of the New York Times.

[Katie Nolan]

Whoa.

[Pablo Torre]

So, okay, you know, yeah. I do appreciate, though, the. The. The amount of. The amount of nipple.

[Katie Nolan]

You're still looking at it while we sit here looking at you. This is 130. You invited us here to watch you look at Madonna.

[Dan LeBatard]

Just him go like this. Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, I am. And. Oh, I got a lip. A lower lip.

[Dan LeBatard]

Anyways, Dan, how are the giants doing?

[Katie Nolan]

Whoa.

[Dan LeBatard]

86 tab that. We'll re. Tab that one. Anyways, Katie, what's up with your orange elbows?

[Katie Nolan]

Double click.

[Pablo Torre]

Gonna pin this.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, right. All right. Gonna do some light reading after the show.

[Jevon]

You know, guys, it feels pretty good when you accomplish something you've. You've dreamt of for a long time. I've been feeling really, really lucky to not just make it to 30, but to be doing all of the things I ever wanted to do, including. Including working here on the Dan LeBatard show with Stu Yachts. And when you think about it, the origins of this show were once just a dream for them. That dream turned into the show and business that you're listening to today. And starting your own business is a dream that lots of us share, but too many of us just let it remain a dream. Don't hold yourself back thinking, what if I don't have the skills? Or what if I can't do it alone? Those what ifs turn into why nots? With Shopify by your side, Shopify powers millions of businesses worldwide, including 10% of all U.S. e. Commerce. Whether you're Mattel or you're just getting started, Shopify's got your back. Not a web designer. Not a problem. Shopify has beautiful ready to go templates. Need help with the details? Their AI tools can enhance product images, write descriptions and even generate discount codes. Worried about finding customers? Shopify makes marketing easy with email and social media tools. And if I ever get stuck, Shopify's award winning tool 24. 7 support is always there. Turn your big business idea into With Shopify on your side, sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com batard go to shopify.com shopify.com.

[Pablo Torre]

You guys pin any tabs on your browser?

[Katie Nolan]

I have a bunch pinned and then once they're that bookmarks tab on my browser is full that I like the ones I can.

[Pablo Torre]

You do. So you'll go to like tiny dot level? Like.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I usually just keep tabs open. I have to keep deleting tabs on my phone because I'm at 500 for the browsing group.

[Dan LeBatard]

No way. Yes, no way.

[Katie Nolan]

And I'll go back through them and then I'll go like I do still want to read that article. Not right now, but later.

[Dan LeBatard]

500?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Your phone must be extraordinarily slow.

[Dan LeBatard]

No, if you go back 500, if you go to like post like let's.

[Pablo Torre]

Break this thing out.

[Dan LeBatard]

If you go to post like 50.

[Pablo Torre]

How long ago is it now we're podcasting.

[Dan LeBatard]

Is that like 2021? You are a tab hoarder.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, I've, I've.

[Dan LeBatard]

This is like going through. This is like going into your house and seeing a bunch of magazine stacks.

[Katie Nolan]

This is from when we moved into the apartment.

[Dan LeBatard]

Great. So a couple years ago. Two years ago. Yeah, two and a half years ago.

[Katie Nolan]

I have a. A tab for custom neon sign. Cuz I was going to make us one that said sky palace and I was gonna hang it up in there.

[Dan LeBatard]

I do love that sky palace.

[Pablo Torre]

You guys do have a sky palace.

[Katie Nolan]

That's what I assume.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's.

[Pablo Torre]

That's why you called it that reference to something else.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, it's because it's a sky palace.

[Dan LeBatard]

And then we get high and get scared.

[Katie Nolan]

Then I have an Atlantic article called Pixar's talking blobs are becoming more and more unsatisfying.

[Dan LeBatard]

All right, someone hating on Pixar. Don't love to see that.

[Katie Nolan]

This is in 2023. June of 2023. The fantastical world of elemental masks. A lack of imagination.

[Pablo Torre]

Were you meaning to get back to that at some point?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I still am. Yeah, that's why it's there.

[Dan LeBatard]

She want to go dig a good Headline.

[Katie Nolan]

I do want that. Just not. I don't have a reason to need it now. And then later I'll try to remember that it exists. Won't be able to find it and we'll be frustrated. This isn't advice on how to live your life. It's me showing my mental illness to you.

[Dan LeBatard]

Do you feel like any urge when you see that? You go, I don't need to know that now. This was.

[Katie Nolan]

If I do, I delete it.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. So that.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I don't feel that on that. I would still like for the audience.

[Dan LeBatard]

Still need to know about the audience.

[Pablo Torre]

Katie has kept that tab.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes. And I'm keeping it. Choosing again right now to keep it.

[Dan LeBatard]

I just want to let everyone know I'm currently 42 years old. That was when I was still in my 30s.

[Katie Nolan]

Crazy.

[Dan LeBatard]

That tab was when I was still in my 30s.

[Katie Nolan]

And while we're doing this, I just want everyone to know I am still in my 30s.

[Pablo Torre]

Was Jeffrey Epstein alive when that tab was open?

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't know what you're talking about, dude. He did nothing wrong. Can we move forward?

[Katie Nolan]

We don't even have a list. Why do you guys keep bringing up a list?

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, my God. You guys are obsessed with Je.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God.

[Dan LeBatard]

Big. JE Big.

[Pablo Torre]

It's very normal to have footage one minute.

[Katie Nolan]

The reason I want that Pixar thing is because as we plunge towards our AI slop future, I have imagined that, like, it would be very easy sooner to AI generate an entire Pixar movie than to, like, AI generate one that is supposed to look like it's really people.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

And I just feel like. I don't know, I feel like there's something there. We gotta look closer.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. I keep thinking about how AI now, we always thought it was going to be like, computer. It might get there, like computers talking and being like, aware. Aware of their existence.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

But we've just reached the stage where it's like where they do the side panels on porn websites where it's like, Peter having sex with Lois. Like, that's just where we're at with AI. We're like, I don't want to watch Homer bang Marge. I want to, like, recreate my dead father so I can have a conversation with him. I don't want to do that.

[Pablo Torre]

I was going to ask you about this actually in the realm of like, one of your great gifts, Dan, which is like, are you worried that AI is going to get good at impression?

[Dan LeBatard]

They already are. It's like, impressive. It's like crazy they do, like. And I. And I eat some of the slop. I'm acting like I don't.

[Pablo Torre]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What slop are you. What. What are you hanging?

[Dan LeBatard]

Hank Hill trap rapping. I don't know if you've seen that. I don't know if you've seen Hank Hill busting it out. Dude, he's fishing through 200 tabs. Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

@ the moment.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, I can find that tab.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

In about two seconds. But I don't know.

[Pablo Torre]

I don't know. I don't know. Wait, this is trap. King of the hill.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. It just cracks me up and.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, wait, this is. Okay. I have one after this that I do want to play for you guys.

[Dan LeBatard]

But this is awesome.

[Katie Nolan]

This is having a slop off.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes. Slop off.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm over here sharing Atlantic articles. Check out my slop.

[Pablo Torre]

It's July.

[Dan LeBatard]

It is July. You need slop. But the. They're doing, like, full songs that I didn't know that they did, like, kind of cut a full album with Hank Hill. And I'm like, all right, well, this is too much.

[Pablo Torre]

I told all the ops to eat and get cancer too. Bobby got that cell phone stick. You better answer, dude. My wife got a body on that. Is he a dancer too? This big Hank, they talking about the money sprint. I cannot hold it. It's a large amount. I need AI Boom Howard to ad lib over this.

[Dan LeBatard]

So they got the whole album. You guys peep the album. Go follow them. I love it. I know it's gross, but that's.

[Katie Nolan]

That's.

[Pablo Torre]

That's. That's.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm gonna have to allow ourselves to do little. Like. Okay, that was stupid. Like, if I slow down and I watch one video of AI cutting glass fruit. You love it. Just one.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, God, you're.

[Katie Nolan]

You're the one.

[Dan LeBatard]

She loves it. It scratches her itches.

[Pablo Torre]

The way that.

[Katie Nolan]

The.

[Pablo Torre]

What about it?

[Katie Nolan]

It's the sound the knife makes as it cuts through the glass fruit. It's the fact that my brain goes. That doesn't. It doesn't matter.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

As soon as it starts to go. You couldn't possibly. It goes, shh.

[Dan LeBatard]

There's a reason. Listen. All of this is coming to fruition. This was MK Ultra, and it's all coming to fruition now. Where they're finding ways to scratch our brains like dogs. Where it scratches a certain thing. Because that's exactly what's happening.

[Katie Nolan]

Everything feels bad, so we're all just going, can I feel good for a second?

[Dan LeBatard]

But, like, Katie Hates asmr. But that is kind of a form of asmr. Because you're hearing that.

[Katie Nolan]

Who said that?

[Dan LeBatard]

I thought you didn't like asmr.

[Katie Nolan]

It doesn't do for me what it does for the people. It does it for.

[Pablo Torre]

Sorry, but they found a way. AI knife cutting glass.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, those are asm. Those are asmr.

[Dan LeBatard]

But they found a way. That's what I'm saying. They, like, found a way to. Where you go, I don't need that scratched. And you go, except if you scratch it like that. That's exactly what I want.

[Katie Nolan]

It is nice. I do like that. But you got it. You have to go. And now we're done.

[Pablo Torre]

And your foot is tapping on the ground rapid as you're watching.

[Katie Nolan]

And now we're done with. And then you're gonna shut the door.

[Dan LeBatard]

And I love videos of guys with dreads. Like, big dreads.

[Katie Nolan]

We were talking about AI getting there.

[Dan LeBatard]

I know, but I'm talking about scratching that.

[Pablo Torre]

You're talking. That's. That's. Again, that's in the Dr. Pimple Popper coaching.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, that's right.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's exactly.

[Katie Nolan]

Exactly. Everybody's got their pimple dread shape. Whatever makes you feel relief when it.

[Dan LeBatard]

Happens to, like, people with a ton of hair and they cut it and they're like, oh, look at all that. The water hitting their scalp.

[Katie Nolan]

So, like dog. Like washing a dog. Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

This is the. The AI this could be anything. This is Homer Simpson.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. Banging.

[Katie Nolan]

This is.

[Pablo Torre]

This is. This is him romancing Marge by performing at a concert that is populated by AI generated cartoon characters. But this is Homer singing.

[Katie Nolan]

So elaborate.

[Pablo Torre]

Starlight by Muse.

[Katie Nolan]

Beautiful. Homer's got a lovely voice. Shrek is into it.

[Dan LeBatard]

Big muse guy. Also, Shrek loves mews, too.

[Katie Nolan]

Shrek loves mews.

[Dan LeBatard]

He'll come out of the forest for it.

[Pablo Torre]

In other words, Dan, you are not worried. You are mostly kind of.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's inevitable. What am I doing?

[Katie Nolan]

I also think, if I may, my favorite thing about your ability to do voices isn't just that you do voices. It's that you then apply it to make whatever joke you've made funnier.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

It's always been my issue with people that do voices that everyone's like, oh, you're offended. Like, no, it just didn't serve the joke. It was the joke itself, was you doing the voice, whereas I'd rather you use the voice to tell a joke. And Dan does that. Let me finish complimenting you. AI Is a real. Will never be. I think the last thing AI is going to be good at is humor. I don't think AI is funny.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, I agree. I agree with that.

[Katie Nolan]

It's, like, too hard for it to get. It tries too hard in a way that you're, like. You don't get.

[Pablo Torre]

Because humor is fundamentally social. Implicit context clues.

[Katie Nolan]

Right.

[Pablo Torre]

And that's, like the. The deepest layer.

[Katie Nolan]

That's so true.

[Pablo Torre]

Is that.

[Katie Nolan]

That's so true.

[Dan LeBatard]

Humans, we're very emotional. We're like the most emotional animal ever. So I don't think AI will be able to replicate that because, like, especially with music, when you hear AI music now, you're like, it is. It misses something.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

It misses, like, soul to it.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

There's no. Like, you. You can. They can make it sound pleasing or whatever. And I know mute. With music especially, you can trick it by, like, the counts and stuff that you're like. It is somewhat mathematical, but I just think AI will never be able to replicate, like, the human soul if you.

[Katie Nolan]

Read something written by ChatGPT or, like, what's the Twitter one? Grok. So we're speaking, by the way, smarmy humor.

[Pablo Torre]

Grok at this moment has been, like, actually deactivated.

[Katie Nolan]

He's going, oh, he's there. Off.

[Pablo Torre]

They turned it off. People are trying to ask Grok, and Grok is not responding.

[Dan LeBatard]

Grok's going to be the first Netflix doc about AI where he was like, I was mistreated. If Elon ever sells off Grok and someone else buys, they do the Netflix doc where they were like, were you abused? He told me to be liberal, then conservative, and then liberal again.

[Pablo Torre]

Grok is being managed like a boy band, right?

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. Yeah. Elon's his Lou Perlman. I think the problem with humans is we're starting to give, like, kids ozampic and. And we're, like, losing our funny and lonely kids. Like, doing voices was a thing out of pure loneliness. Just like being funny for myself. And then fat kids. You need fat kids. We need.

[Pablo Torre]

Right, right. AI Macho man doesn't have the trauma.

[Dan LeBatard]

That, no, he's gotta be alone, learning how to cut promos on his roommate because, you know, AI didn't have to clean a sink full of dishes and get mad about it.

[Katie Nolan]

Here's a question. I was thinking about this yesterday. Sometimes I, in this current climate, hesitate to say something, I think, because someone's going to ascribe me a political party and then say that that's what I. And so I. But what political party is this? If I feel like, in terms of wealth, if you reach a certain amount. Like, let's say however much Peter Thiel has, we should be able to find you. When you say in an interview something along the lines of, I don't know if humanity should exist forever and continue.

[Pablo Torre]

You would prefer the human race to endure.

[Dan LeBatard]

Right.

[Pablo Torre]

You're hesitating. Well, I. Yes.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't know. I. I would. I would.

[Pablo Torre]

This is a long hesitation. It's a long hesitation. There's so many questions. And plus, should the human race survive.

[Katie Nolan]

We should be able to fine you the way that the NBA would find a player. When they disparage the refs.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, when they go like, that call was bull.

[Katie Nolan]

And then they go like, you gotta give us $25,000.

[Dan LeBatard]

You can't do that.

[Katie Nolan]

It undermines the game.

[Dan LeBatard]

Peter Thiel would feel like you're trying to wipe out humanity. You gotta give us 2 billion.

[Pablo Torre]

Should be replay review.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes. And we should go watch. Show that. First of all, stop doing interviews. That guy can't.

[Pablo Torre]

So this video, comfortably. This video. Katie's description is not in any way an exaggeration.

[Dan LeBatard]

No. He goes, do you think humanity should. The guy asks it pretty well.

[Katie Nolan]

And then he just. And he's like.

[Pablo Torre]

It's sounding like you're Ross Duthat, who's like the New York Times conservative columnist who's just like. Kind of like putting a question on a t. Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

And hey, humans. Are you still like humans?

[Katie Nolan]

Right?

[Dan LeBatard]

And he goes, no, Peter.

[Pablo Torre]

Peter Thiel. Just like Nomar Garcia para ing. Just like.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Dan LeBatard]

Like verbal.

[Katie Nolan]

Verbal.

[Pablo Torre]

You know, wristband adjustment for 30 seconds.

[Katie Nolan]

It's the way every interview I see of this guy. He's wet in a wrong way. Something is moist that isn't in its. And it's wrong. And he's like, breathing funny. And he takes these long pauses that, like, I'm trying to teach myself to slow down and allow some silence. He is the worst case. You leave so much silence. And then he does the like. Well, and I. And I. And he seems so nervous that you're like.

[Pablo Torre]

It's a lot of buffering, a lot of physical buffering.

[Dan LeBatard]

I don't like somebody.

[Katie Nolan]

I know you're full of boy blood, but I don't like somebody that nervous.

[Pablo Torre]

Alleged blood.

[Katie Nolan]

Boys that nervous. To have that NER that much money and to be running our upcoming human experiments known as the. Whatever Olympics that he's doing.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, he's doing the rules.

[Pablo Torre]

Funding the roid Olympics.

[Katie Nolan]

And he's so nervous.

[Dan LeBatard]

I think he goes back to the spaceship and they go like, what were you doing out there? We put you in the human body for once and you screwed it up. The water goes on the inside. And he goes like, why? I don't know. I was stressed out. They asked me about humans.

[Katie Nolan]

I was.

[Dan LeBatard]

You want me to tell them that they're supposed to live?

[Katie Nolan]

Ross Douthat is a very skilled interviewer.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, come on. We set it up.

[Pablo Torre]

We knew the gotcha question.

[Dan LeBatard]

The liberals go, too much off emotion. The conservatives off just stuff.

[Katie Nolan]

Peter Thiel. Peter Thiel needs a Jordaan.

[Pablo Torre]

Wow.

[Katie Nolan]

To jump in.

[Pablo Torre]

He needs to be mommaged.

[Katie Nolan]

We're not talking about that. He needs to be mommaged so badly.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. Just go get a. You know, I don't know.

[Katie Nolan]

Dude, just. What are you doing? You make me so uncomfortable. I'm sorry.

[Pablo Torre]

I want Peter Thiel to have it. Have a Jordan Hudson.

[Katie Nolan]

It's just a way.

[Pablo Torre]

It really would help.

[Dan LeBatard]

We don't talk about that. I mean, he could afford one. He could afford like the biggest king out there. Just pay a lady, like, you know, 100 million.

[Katie Nolan]

The biggest king.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. Just to go, like man or woman.

[Pablo Torre]

Just to go non derogatory.

[Dan LeBatard]

Non derogatory. We're just going like, hey, we're not talking about that. I'll do it. Hey. He doesn't answer questions about humans, you stupid. And then Peter goes, thank your dad. And I go, you're welcome. I'll be eating my crack when he throws a treat.

[Pablo Torre]

It does feel like, by the way.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm buying a compound on New Zealand because this thing's about to get fried.

[Pablo Torre]

Peter Thiel does have men in black.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Cockroach guy.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. What's his deal?

[Dan LeBatard]

He's got any sugar?

[Katie Nolan]

What's his deal?

[Dan LeBatard]

More.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, yeah. As I'm saying that. Should I. He's gay, right? I didn't mean to say. He needs a shirt on.

[Dan LeBatard]

And that's the reason why.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah. That's the part that he'll be offended.

[Katie Nolan]

I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I forgot for a second. Second.

[Dan LeBatard]

That that's the reason he shut down Gawker.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

That's the whole thing.

[Dan LeBatard]

He funded Hogan.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

What you going to do when I get funded by a billionaire?

[Katie Nolan]

I just think we should be able to say you have to pay us money. You can't do that.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm going to go, ooh, why you wet? That's what. I'm sorry.

[Katie Nolan]

What's this?

[Dan LeBatard]

You dewy ass? Shut your dewy ass up. He's like, I need more sugar.

[Katie Nolan]

On WhatsApp, no one can see or hear your personal messages. Whether it's a voice call message or sending a password to WhatsApp, it's all just this. So whether you're sharing the streaming password in the family chat or trading those late night voice messages, that could basically become a podcast, your personal messages stay between you, your friends and your family. No one else, not even us. WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Wish we had, like, a cool villain. All the villains we got are like.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, Bond villains were cool.

[Katie Nolan]

They got no taste, no style, no.

[Dan LeBatard]

Where is the volcano with the opening platform?

[Pablo Torre]

So I think I have an answer.

[Katie Nolan]

Was like, what is this?

[Dan LeBatard]

So the Bezos, it was a Bond.

[Pablo Torre]

Vi, but hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Katie Nolan]

Forest or whatever.

[Pablo Torre]

The Bezos wedding would have been a Bond villain wedding if it was like on an inaccessible island.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's what they should have done.

[Pablo Torre]

It was instead in square. It was an Italian Times Square.

[Dan LeBatard]

It should have been on like Dead.

[Katie Nolan]

Man's Island, Skull Island. Wasn't it right off of Venice? Like, it's not. It wasn't on the main Venice.

[Pablo Torre]

No. They were all staying in hotels in Venice. And then there was like a thing that was slightly more removed, but it was very photographable. I think the people who are doing the. The villain stuff that you guys are describing, I. So this is. I will anonymize this story because legal reasons, but I was just talking to somebody who inadvertently wound up on a boat that he claims involved another boat following it. And that boat was full of. And this is, again, this is not something I've reported. Just a story I was just told was full of prostitutes. And it, like, docked inside the bigger boat.

[Dan LeBatard]

Okay. And a little preview of things to come.

[Katie Nolan]

And.

[Pablo Torre]

And it went to a Caribbean island, and the owner of the boat was revealed to be, I think this is general enough for me to say a Russian billionaire who also owns a very prominent soccer team.

[Dan LeBatard]

No way.

[Pablo Torre]

So I'm like, when I heard that.

[Dan LeBatard]

Story, this was guys living. Two days ago, guys live in Grand Theft Auto. In real life, whole boat of hookers into bigger boat. And then we do Hooker Island. Like, that's the party you want to go to. Not Bezos, where they're all giving.

[Pablo Torre]

Like, that's all we're asking. Like, why can't. Why can't American billionaires?

[Dan LeBatard]

He's like, but I'll tell you what. I know we've been on the boy. I know we've been on old Peter Thiel, but this Steroid Olympics People are gonna die. Well, we're reaching the part of society where that will. Running man is like, there's a new one coming out which doesn't look that good. There is Glenn Jacobs as Arnold's role.

[Katie Nolan]

Glenn Jacobs. That's his name.

[Dan LeBatard]

No. Who's the guy that was in.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, Glenn Powell.

[Dan LeBatard]

Glen Powell.

[Pablo Torre]

Who's in everything.

[Katie Nolan]

Glenn Jacobs. I do recognize that name. Who is that? Was that my old boss at espn?

[Dan LeBatard]

I think it is.

[Pablo Torre]

I think so.

[Katie Nolan]

Glenn Jacobs was there for the espn.

[Pablo Torre]

Was recently named vice president of production for mma.

[Dan LeBatard]

I just shout out Glenn Jacobs.

[Katie Nolan]

He was my first boss at ESPN before they moved him around and reorged and reorged and reorged and then I think, laid over him all off.

[Dan LeBatard]

Is that Kane's name from wwe?

[Katie Nolan]

Maybe.

[Dan LeBatard]

Can you check if that's Kane from wwe?

[Pablo Torre]

Now the mayor of Glenn, Thomas Jacobs, also known by his ring name, Kane.

[Dan LeBatard]

Son of a. That's Cain. I wish you could hit the red effects.

[Pablo Torre]

Did he do that? When in 2018, he became the mayor of Knox County, Tennessee.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Damn. Knox County. Feels like a popular county in Tennessee. I feel like I. Would that be where Knoxville is, Katie?

[Pablo Torre]

Its county seat is Knoxville.

[Dan LeBatard]

Back to this steroid Olympics.

[Katie Nolan]

You're excited for it.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's just. No, I'm not. I feel the same way about it as I do about a Paul Brother boxing. I get the gist if it hits me on the right Saturday.

[Katie Nolan]

I just think someone's gonna die. I just think they're gonna put too much stuff in. They're gonna. Their heart's gonna explode.

[Pablo Torre]

It's gonna be like a jackdaw that looks like it can't walk.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. When you get those pit bulls that you're like, it's so cool.

[Katie Nolan]

Are the kangaroos, too. Have you seen giant yolked kangaroos?

[Dan LeBatard]

I think they want to compete, so I think they're going to be pushing their. Whatever sport they're doing. Yeah. Could end up in death. But I don't think they're going to be like. Do you think they're going to be like hot dog balls of muscle?

[Katie Nolan]

I don't know. I think they're going to try. They're the way they're marketing it now, and it has changed over the years since they've had this idea. But the current angle they're taking, which seems to be working, is that they want to test the limits of human, like, capability. And so they're like, you're holding us back by saying we can't use these drugs. To enhance our bodies, to achieve more so.

[Pablo Torre]

So in fact, unite some. Some. Some. Some stray threads we've been dangling here. The idea is the brainchild of Dr. Aaron D', Souza, the Australian lawyer who helped mastermind Thiel's proxy war against news media organization Gawker, which led to gawker's bankruptcy in 2016. Furthermore, in a recent interview with the Independent, D' Souza was defiant and outlined how he hoped the Enhanced Games would not only shake up the world of sport, but provide a public platform for life. Extending science to thrive. Quote, this is the route towards eternal life.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yes, yes.

[Pablo Torre]

Said.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's never gone wrong. Anyone that's ever sought that out has never. Nothing bad has ever happened.

[Katie Nolan]

I.

[Dan LeBatard]

Only good can come from this.

[Katie Nolan]

Can't relate to the desire to want to live forever.

[Dan LeBatard]

Well, my love, that's because you have depression.

[Katie Nolan]

Many people are out here going this. But always Katie, I will say, not me. I'm going, how much longer do we have to do this?

[Dan LeBatard]

What is left on the clock?

[Katie Nolan]

When do I get to go to sleep?

[Pablo Torre]

I will say, your Internet search history suggests that you plan on living forever.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, let me go back, because we really did only get to one article there, and there's a lot of.

[Dan LeBatard]

What if I told you you could live forever?

[Katie Nolan]

How to reheat chicken parm. Always important. How does that.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm going to step in as your, you know, future husband and tell you to keep that tab.

[Katie Nolan]

I do.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's okay.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

You don't have to wait.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm thinking of you all.

[Dan LeBatard]

I saw you go to that X.

[Pablo Torre]

What's the strategy next to it?

[Katie Nolan]

Ronnie Lott signature. It was your birthday.

[Pablo Torre]

I was gonna say, either you're the.

[Dan LeBatard]

Greatest safety of life, you were trying.

[Pablo Torre]

To steal Ronnie Lot's identity, or getting Dan a great birthday gift.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yep.

[Katie Nolan]

Which is it?

[Pablo Torre]

What? What? What's wrong with normal chicken parm?

[Katie Nolan]

Reheating with chicken parm, you have the chicken.

[Pablo Torre]

It's real teal.

[Katie Nolan]

Like, you have the chicken that, you know, a microwave heats from the inside out. So that's something to keep in mind. So you have the chicken that you. You have the breading that you need to get crispy. That could get soggy pretty easily. You don't want that. And then you have the cheese that you don't want. I don't. Are we having a contest of how to do it? I can click on the tab and tell you what it's like.

[Pablo Torre]

Now, as someone who often reheats chicken parm. Now I'm like, this is A bit of news I can use.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, we gotta find out what you do.

[Katie Nolan]

You want everything to be reheated in a way that makes the best place to heat up the dish is in the oven. The dry heat will make sure the breaded chicken has a perfectly crisp texture and that your pasta doesn't get too soft. Oh, well, this is assuming you have pasta in there, too. I would do that separately, so that's crazy.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't know. Maybe this is a bad link, too. Instant pots. I don't know what that is. I don't know what an instant pot is.

[Pablo Torre]

This is a choose your own adventure stovetop.

[Katie Nolan]

It tells you how to do it in all the different ways to do it in a skillet, if you want. Basically, yes. Choose your own adventure.

[Dan LeBatard]

I know we were talking about your locker earlier at espn, but this does feel like the end of the school year. Cleaning out your locker and being like, oh, I found this. I was supposed to turn this assignment in and I didn't. That's what it feels like.

[Katie Nolan]

The New Yorker 100 the Case Against Travel by Agnes Collard. It turns us into the worst version of ourselves while convincing us that we're at our best.

[Dan LeBatard]

Huh. Interesting. Save that.

[Katie Nolan]

And as a lady who likes to sit, I was like, I love when somebody advocates loudly for just sitting back.

[Dan LeBatard]

To the roid Olympics. Do they have a date? Do they have, like, any. So it's gonna happen next summer in Vegas.

[Katie Nolan]

And it's, I think, next or October.

[Dan LeBatard]

Of course it's Vegas.

[Katie Nolan]

Something's telling me October it.

[Pablo Torre]

May 2026. The enhanced games. And it is in Las Vegas.

[Dan LeBatard]

And is it, like, track and field?

[Pablo Torre]

They are scheduled to include track and field, swimming, weightlifting, gymnastics.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's going to be crazy.

[Pablo Torre]

Combat sports.

[Dan LeBatard]

Combat sports is the dangerous. But, man, I'm not going to be able to turn away.

[Katie Nolan]

I know.

[Pablo Torre]

I mean, admittedly, we've been talking about this on our show a lot. Like, should we. In terms of, like, should we do this on our show? And at every turn, I'm just kind of like, again, I kind of get it. But now. Now that I hear about this eternal.

[Dan LeBatard]

Life thing, I'm like, it's so funny that that's. It's like, not a good commercial for that, where they go. And we think it's a good commercial for eternal life. You should go. Just start with extending it. Start with extending it.

[Katie Nolan]

If it's you and me and we're still around, I would live with you forever. But, like, if I.

[Pablo Torre]

If you've ever said on this podcast.

[Katie Nolan]

If anything happens to you, and then I they figure out eternal life and.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm like, well, yeah, guys, we already covered this. It's called Dracula.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, damn.

[Dan LeBatard]

Guys, we've already an Rice and Bram Stoker have covered this topic.

[Pablo Torre]

Can I tell you guys about one tab that I've been meaning to show both of you?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, unless it's the sex book again. Pablo, I know what a nipple looks like.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, I've minimized that.

[Katie Nolan]

I have three of them.

[Dan LeBatard]

Some of us were there when the book came out.

[Pablo Torre]

Okay, the thing I wanted to show you, actually, is this. And drive the up there or you're.

[Dan LeBatard]

Gonna get booted the out of here.

[Pablo Torre]

Have you guys seen this? Dan, have you seen this up.

[Dan LeBatard]

I promise you that.

[Pablo Torre]

Hurry up.

[Dan LeBatard]

Pretty tough.

[Pablo Torre]

We're on a golf course.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm Canadian.

[Pablo Torre]

This is Canada.

[Dan LeBatard]

Tough.

[Pablo Torre]

You're not tough. You're not tough. Let's get going. Get going. Smaller guy in like a very loud Dan. Flashes shirt, sunglasses, shorts.

[Dan LeBatard]

This is golf. This is golf now. He's teeing up, man.

[Pablo Torre]

That's fine.

[Dan LeBatard]

He's not teeing it up. He's standing. God, they're Canadian police out here.

[Pablo Torre]

No, we don't need police.

[Dan LeBatard]

We're not.

[Pablo Torre]

Okay, then let's get.

[Dan LeBatard]

You need me to go get a guy bod and get going? This is not fun. What I'm going to throw in. This guy's just casually lining up a shot.

[Pablo Torre]

No, you blue sky.

[Katie Nolan]

This is guy doesn't know how to film the action.

[Dan LeBatard]

You're still mad.

[Katie Nolan]

23 minutes.

[Dan LeBatard]

That is crazy.

[Pablo Torre]

So that's the dispute at the core of this. In this short guy Ish with the. With the shirt, the loud shirt and the glove and the shorts.

[Dan LeBatard]

I love a guy hitting a. Cry about it.

[Katie Nolan]

I bought it.

[Pablo Torre]

And he has the high ground.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, glasses are off. Still got the golf club. Golf head. Nice. Take the glove off.

[Pablo Torre]

Gloveless. He's de gloved. No.

[Dan LeBatard]

He'S a boot. Pack up.

[Katie Nolan]

Go now. Cameraman's on whose side?

[Pablo Torre]

Hard to tell so far.

[Dan LeBatard]

This guy clapping like this guy's doing a hakka dance.

[Pablo Torre]

Come on, man.

[Dan LeBatard]

Hey, is he going to light water? Yeah. Taking a bath. Oh, he's coming out of the water. Swamp Thing. Swamp Thing. Boop him. Boop. He's a big boy, too. Leave him alone, man. Stop, guy. Oh, my God. Oh, he's saying bang.

[Pablo Torre]

He's saying bang.

[Dan LeBatard]

Enough, dude. This guy is just like. No, you know what?

[Katie Nolan]

God, he won't stop.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's a big brother toss. Please get up. Come back for more. Come back for more. He's the.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I'm not. My shirts are falling off.

[Dan LeBatard]

Stop looking like an idiot. Smashing someone's face and saying bang is.

[Pablo Torre]

Objectively just mic breening him as you're.

[Katie Nolan]

You have to reveal that we. That who they are.

[Pablo Torre]

So when you said this is going to live forever, the guy who is the. I. He's not the aggressor, actually, but he is the guy.

[Katie Nolan]

Bang.

[Pablo Torre]

Bang, Bang, Bang. Bang. Banging that guy's face. I texted a phone number we acquired for him because we identified him and the Internet has now identified him as a gentleman by the name of Nick Tarnaski.

[Dan LeBatard]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

Who you may vaguely recall from his previous life as NHL enforcer. I mean, he played for the Tampa Bay Lightning, National Predators and Florida Panthers. According to Data from Hockey fights.com, his professional fight record.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, my God.

[Pablo Torre]

Totals 167 fights, which explains the.

[Katie Nolan]

I tried to tell you to shut up energy, like I warned you, also makes the guy.

[Dan LeBatard]

When he's going, woo, woo. You're like, buddy, you have no idea what the tree you're barking up right now is. Absolutely.

[Katie Nolan]

You have to listen to me. You do not want this.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's the coolest moment where he goes.

[Katie Nolan]

You do not want this.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm trying to give you my Liam Neeson.

[Katie Nolan]

Please, please, please, please.

[Dan LeBatard]

I have acquired a certain amount of CTE in the NHL. I'm about to unleash this.

[Katie Nolan]

Once I start, it's not gonna stop.

[Dan LeBatard]

I'm gonna calm down that hill. I will put you in the swamp. You will come back out. I will say bang. Bang.

[Pablo Torre]

Bang.

[Dan LeBatard]

I like that he's called Bang.

[Pablo Torre]

And also the technique.

[Dan LeBatard]

He's like Emeril Lagasse. He's like, bang. Boom. We're gonna make this spicy. Yeah, that's the coolest. If I could fight, I would absolutely be saying bang as I rang a dude's bell.

[Katie Nolan]

I'd sound out of breath, embarrassed. I'd be like, bang.

[Dan LeBatard]

Please, someone.

[Katie Nolan]

Bang. Bang.

[Dan LeBatard]

This is a lot of activity. I want you to ring my bell. Ring my bell. Bang. Bang. I'd be singing that if I were Steel Roof Rusty. That is a. That's his nickname.

[Katie Nolan]

Tin Tin T. Roof Rusty.

[Dan LeBatard]

That is great.

[Pablo Torre]

Really good.

[Katie Nolan]

Thanks. My dad loves the B52s. My dad loves the B52s to the point where they said they were going on their.

[Dan LeBatard]

They shared it.

[Katie Nolan]

Their goodbye tour or whatever.

[Dan LeBatard]

They did the share thing and then they.

[Katie Nolan]

And then they're back now, and you're like, my dad.

[Pablo Torre]

They open For Cher.

[Katie Nolan]

All that money to go.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh no, I was saying Cher does that Cher like back in the day would go like, I'm retiring.

[Pablo Torre]

Good luck finding me.

[Katie Nolan]

How dare you.

[Pablo Torre]

The share's tight 30, isn't it?

[Katie Nolan]

More down her word used to be.

[Dan LeBatard]

She's like, I'm back. And then everyone's like, you said you were a dog. She was like, anyways, shout out Fresno. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.

[Pablo Torre]

With the price of just about everything going up, we thought we'd bring our prices down. So to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a thing Mint Mobile Unlimited premium wireless.

[Dan LeBatard]

How do you get 30?

[Katie Nolan]

30.

[Pablo Torre]

Bit 30.

[Dan LeBatard]

Betty. Get 20. 20, 20. Get 20. 20. Everybody get 15. 15, 15, 15. Just 15 bucks a month. So give it a [e-mail] Switch up.

[Katie Nolan]

Front payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy. Taxes and fees extra. See mint mobile.com. were we supposed to talk about your hair at some point?

[Dan LeBatard]

Don't cut it. I'm in the don't cut camp.

[Pablo Torre]

I do think that if I wore like, like a Three Ninjas headband, it would look cool.

[Dan LeBatard]

Man, Three Ninjas really had us out here thinking we could beat up grown men.

[Pablo Torre]

Tum Tum vibes.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, Tum Tum. I had a crush on one of them. Which ninja did I have a crush on?

[Dan LeBatard]

Colt. Absolutely. Colt. You wouldn't go Rocky. I know you. Rocky was the alpha. Colt was the second best.

[Katie Nolan]

Thank you.

[Dan LeBatard]

It's the JC Chasse thing. Yeah, yeah. You would have liked Colt. And I would say if anybody, I would be Colt.

[Pablo Torre]

Right? No, it's the, it's the NSync the improvement. Three ninjas like you have a Goldilocks zone of handsome boys.

[Dan LeBatard]

Obviously everyone wants jtt. Obviously everyone wants.

[Katie Nolan]

I had a. A photo of Apollo, Anton Ono hanging up in my bedroom.

[Dan LeBatard]

Shout out the soul patch. But Three Ninjas really had a generation of little boys believing with a small amount of mini mall taekwondo we could beat up up grown men that are criminals.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes.

[Dan LeBatard]

I hope no one ever tested help.

[Pablo Torre]

Hardened FBI agents in their investigations.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. Their father was an FBI agent.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

You would think that like the Bang Bang Bang video we watched. Like a grown men watches a kid going to a karate stance and he goes, you don't want to do this kid. I'm a man. You're a little boy. And he's like, I just watched the three ninjas.

[Katie Nolan]

Ten times in a row.

[Dan LeBatard]

I got you. And he goes to kick and he grabs it and he goes like. Like. Then it's like being in the water with an alligator.

[Katie Nolan]

They also make you think that you can put. There's like a. An abundance of stuff you can put in someone's drink that'll make them right.

[Dan LeBatard]

Away or they go.

[Katie Nolan]

Kids movies made you think like quick sand, I feel like. And that were going to be more prominent.

[Dan LeBatard]

They also made you think by taking someone's hand as a little child, you could flip a grown man. And you can he just go like this.

[Katie Nolan]

Just like. You got to get it at the right. Do it.

[Dan LeBatard]

The little. I say a little kid voice. You gotta go with it.

[Pablo Torre]

I am one of those kids, incidentally. Like, I took karate classes. Tiger shman classes. Not. Those commercials were very intimidating. I was never a Tiger Shulman dojo.

[Dan LeBatard]

That's great. I never did that. How long did you do karate for? What belt did you get to?

[Pablo Torre]

I, I. The most embarrassing thing is that I never even got a blue belt. I was just like a series of like off white just.

[Dan LeBatard]

And an occasional stripe. Did you got to yell at all right.

[Pablo Torre]

No, I got a stripe. But I. It was just. I was. You know, what's the equivalent of this? It's like being on the. The freshman team.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Not even jv.

[Dan LeBatard]

Were you inspired by three ninjas?

[Pablo Torre]

Yes.

[Dan LeBatard]

That was what got you in there.

[Pablo Torre]

I mean, that was definitely a radicalizing movie for me.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. It got you like, mom, I need to take karate.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes. But it's also surf ninjas. I think there was an era by.

[Katie Nolan]

That ninjas were kind of big. Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Turtles.

[Dan LeBatard]

80S and 90s. Ninja was massive. Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

It really was.

[Dan LeBatard]

You could put ninja on anything. It was like bacon in 08. Like, you could just like put ninja on anything. And everyone's like, I love it. I absolutely love it.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah. We're an American ninja. We're children ninjas. They just walked into boardrooms and they went, kid ninjas. And they went, oh, my God.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God.

[Dan LeBatard]

Here's $3 million.

[Pablo Torre]

How many of them are there going to be?

[Dan LeBatard]

Three of them.

[Katie Nolan]

It's perfect.

[Dan LeBatard]

Oh, my God. I'm in my pants. And then that's the problem with Hollywood.

[Katie Nolan]

Mike Ryan Ruiz. Hellman's commercial. I want to find. That's so bad.

[Pablo Torre]

Mike Ryan was in a Hellman's commercial.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't know.

[Pablo Torre]

Mike Ryan kind of has the hair that I would ostensibly be trying to.

[Dan LeBatard]

Grow with the long. He's got Good long hair, huh?

[Pablo Torre]

He has some good bang the full over some bang bang bang for his buck.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, this is when I was going on Jeopardy. Because it's all random. Like, who is Spinoza?

[Dan LeBatard]

Here comes the tab queen.

[Katie Nolan]

How to learn everything. I googled how to learn how to. Wait.

[Pablo Torre]

That's a. That's a tab you have?

[Katie Nolan]

Well, yeah, because it's a YouTube video by somebody named CW called to study for Jeopardy, Win at trivia and appreciate urinal art.

[Dan LeBatard]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

I mean, I never watched it, so take that. You know, I didn't win. I. I won twice, but I didn't.

[Dan LeBatard]

Win the whole thing.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God. Do I have a grade 3 AC joint separation?

[Dan LeBatard]

I know what that's from. I know what that's from.

[Katie Nolan]

I didn't think I'd still have that.

[Dan LeBatard]

I like that you. I like that you still have that.

[Pablo Torre]

Did you?

[Dan LeBatard]

No, someone else did.

[Katie Nolan]

Somebody else did, and they were pretending to not be hurt. And I googled. She mentioned what they said that it was that a hospital told her. And I. And I wrote it so that I could google it later so I wouldn't get caught.

[Dan LeBatard]

And you saved it.

[Katie Nolan]

And I say, and I saved it.

[Dan LeBatard]

I love that. That was when we were up in Colorado.

[Katie Nolan]

It says that it's one of the more painful things you could do to your body.

[Pablo Torre]

You just have a picture of a fast food sandwich.

[Katie Nolan]

Sonic cheeseburger. It's not a picture. I was looking up the Sonic menu because I think somebody was going there.

[Dan LeBatard]

Yeah, that's when I was doing the Boulder Theater. And I went. And you had Sonic for the first time.

[Katie Nolan]

That's right.

[Pablo Torre]

So you just closed that window.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, I closed. Because I don't need that. You're right.

[Dan LeBatard]

And you were disappointed in Sonic.

[Pablo Torre]

Remember recondoing your phone right now.

[Dan LeBatard]

Remember that?

[Pablo Torre]

Full of Sonic cheeseburger images.

[Katie Nolan]

Thank the Sonic cheeseburger. Thank you for the memory, Carol o'. Connor. I wanted to know his name.

[Dan LeBatard]

Damn, dude. You really keep every tab open then.

[Katie Nolan]

I have the Tom Holland umbrella gif. I always like to have that on here.

[Pablo Torre]

That's a great video.

[Katie Nolan]

Chekhov's gun. I googled what that was because people were saying it a lot.

[Pablo Torre]

Honestly, you keeping the tab for Chekhov's gun and only opening it now feels like a violation or maybe the ultimate fulfillment of the Chekhov's gun.

[Dan LeBatard]

That is it.

[Katie Nolan]

And I don't get it. So let me read Chekhovs if I laugh.

[Pablo Torre]

Chekhov's tab.

[Katie Nolan]

It's a narrative principle emphasizing that every element in a story be necessary.

[Dan LeBatard]

Really?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. While irrelevant elements should be removed. And this is not irrelevant. For example, if a gun features in a story, there must be a reason for it, such as being fired at some later point. Possible that all elements must eventually come.

[Pablo Torre]

And to create the through line through this whole episode.

[Dan LeBatard]

Bang, bang. There it is.

[Pablo Torre]

That's podcasting. That's how you podcast.

[Dan LeBatard]

Keep them all open. Never, never shut your tabs.

[Katie Nolan]

Katie Wedding Dresses.

[Dan LeBatard]

Hey, I'll get to it. It.

[Pablo Torre]

Pablo Torre Finds out is produced by Walter Abaroma, Maxwell Carney, Ryan Cortez, Sam Dawig, Juan Galindo, Patrick Kim, neely Loman, Rob McRae, Matt Sullivan, Claire Taylor and Chris Tuminello. RStudio Engineering by RG Systems Sound Design by NGW Post Theme Song as always, by John Bravo. And we will talk to you next time.