Share & Burn Book & Tell with Joe Mande and Mike Schur

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Pablo Torre Finds Out

Episode: "Share & Burn Book & Tell with Joe Mande and Mike Schur"

Date: October 21, 2025
Host: Pablo Torre
Guests: Joe Mande (comedian, writer, Timberwolves superfan), Mike Schur (television writer/producer, Parks and Rec/Good Place)

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Episode Overview

This episode of Pablo Torre Finds Out is a wild ride through sports fandom, NBA franchise intrigue, personal quirks, and the pure joy of comedic digression. Pablo is joined by comedian/TV writer Joe Mande and acclaimed showrunner Mike Schur for a blend of investigative journalism (exploring the convoluted Minnesota Timberwolves ownership saga) and offbeat personal storytelling (including custom hats, Twitter bots from Moldova, and elaborate sports trivia games). The tone is waggish and self-aware, veering as often toward jokes about lasagna and prosthetics as it does to billionaire power plays or NBA bylaws.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Mystery Basketball & Mike Schur’s Collecting

• [02:01] Mike Schur shows off what he claims (with some skepticism) is the basketball used by Larry Bird in a legendary three-point contest:
  • Provenance is shaky—a letter from a supposed bystander is the only evidence.
  • Quote: "I've decided it's the ball, so… it's the ball." —Mike Schur [03:37]
  • The group jokes about memorabilia scams and being perpetually scammed.

2. Joe Mande: Timberwolves Superfan & NBA Obsessive

• [04:28] Joe's Timberwolves devotion is dissected—he's a top-10 all-time fan (just behind gymnast Suni Lee and Craig Kilborn).
• On his Jumbotron letdown: Suni Lee, fresh from Olympic success, ousted Joe’s big moment with the crowd.

3. Digital Nihilism and Twitter Bots

• [05:27] Joe’s provocateur credentials established: bought 1 million Twitter bots, listed his website as TrumpPrisonCamp.com, and kept his location as "H⚝llyw⚝⚝d."
  • Quote: “None of this matters. Antarctica is melting.” —Joe, quoting his old Twitter bio [06:18]
  • He lost 200k of those bots along the way, possibly funding a Moldovan civil war in the process.

4. The Writers Room Dynamic (Parks & Rec, Good Place, etc.)

• [07:16] Pablo prompts reminiscence on Joe’s alter ego “Morris Lerpiss” and the joy of time-wasting in a comedy writers’ room.
  • Sporkle quizzes (“top 500 all-time NBA rebounders,” “all starters from the 2004-05 NBA season”).
  • The camaraderie and necessity of “wasting time with nonsense.”
  • Quote: “Wasting time with nonsense is one of the great joys of having the job that we have.” —Mike Schur [11:08]

5. Anthony Edwards: Timberwolves Messiah

• [13:10] Joe reveals his wardrobe: Anthony Edwards Georgia giveaway tee; discusses Edwards as possibly above Kevin Garnett in his heart.
  • Quote: "He's my son, but Garnett's my dad." —Joe Mande [14:20]
  • Joe would “jump in front of a bullet” for Edwards, but “not for my mom—she’s lived a full life and can’t win a championship.” [14:32]

6. The Timberwolves Ownership Saga: A Real-Life Farce

Glenn Taylor – The Bane & The Bed

• [23:05] Glenn Taylor outlined as Timberwolves’ long-suffering owner: former state senator, paper magnate, chicken processing tycoon.
• [24:51] Table-read of oral history recreates Adam Silver and Glenn Taylor’s 1994 handshake deal—literally from a bed in a Minneapolis hotel room.
  • Quote: “There was a queen sized bed and a phone on each side of the bed...as if you were reading a book on each side.” —Mike Schur as Adam Silver [26:32]

The Sale, the Step Transaction, and the Civil War

• [28:33] In 2021, Taylor agreed to sell the Wolves and Lynx to Alex Rodriguez and Marc Lore for $1.5B, to be paid over time (a "step transaction").
  • For comparison: Suns, Hornets, Lakers, and Celtics all sold for astronomically higher sums soon after.
• [30:53] In March 2024, Taylor declared Lore/Rodriguez had failed to meet their payment and called off the sale—a claim refuted by direct evidence found by Pablo.
  • Quote: "Glenn Taylor's allegation is, they're broke boys." —Pablo Torre [33:20]
  • Lore/Rodriguez were literally locked out of team facilities.

Glenn Taylor’s “Burn Book” Exposed

• [39:12] During arbitration, Taylor’s team circulated a literal “burn book”: 77 numbered complaints (e.g., “A-Rod did steroids,” “Marc Lore had dinner with Garnett without telling me”).
  • Quote: "Burn book. As in, a Mean Girls–style list...77 things Glenn Taylor/the Wolves hate about Mark Lore and Alex Rodriguez." —Pablo [39:12]
  • Cited as a baffling legal strategy, banking on personal pettiness to sway NBA opinion.

The NBA Owners’ Vote & Final Twist

• [44:44] In a remote NBA owners’ vote, Taylor mounts a last-ditch (and slightly farcical) defense, but ultimately the sale is enforced.
• [47:05] Taylor’s legacy clause: He secures four courtside seats for the next decade, ensuring that the "bane" of Joe’s existence isn’t going anywhere, even in “retirement.”
  • Quote: “That dude’s not going anywhere, man.” —Pablo [47:17]
  • Mike Schur: “There’s a class of people…who have determined that shamelessness is a market inefficiency.” [47:27]

7. Joe Mande’s Genuine Wolves Fandom

• [49:35] Joe recalls awkward/sweet/ludicrous run-ins with Wolves players and, way back, Alex Rodriguez—in a Mall of America incident involving being high, falling into a shoe display, and an argument about the word “whack.”
  • Quote: “My only real interaction with Alex Rodriguez is him turning around briefly and seeing me and my friend on drugs falling into a pyramid of shoebox.” —Joe [51:43]
• [50:28] Despite the drama, Joe is “truly in love with this team.” Anthony Edwards' dog, nostalgia, and hope are recurring themes.

8. The Mania of Embroidered Hats: The “Share & Tell” Segment

• [53:50] Joe’s COVID-project: hand-embroidering hats using team logos to spell absurd or tailored words for friends.

  • Examples:
    • Brewers’ “MB” = Crab Meat [54:53]
    • Astros’ “H” = Horny [56:24]
    • Royals’ “KC” = Kurt Cobain
    • Giants’ “SF” = Transfusion
    • Mets’ logo spells out “NyQuil” down the brim
    • Tigers’ hat says “Dershowitz”

• The comedic highlight: a guessing game of obscure hat wordplay ("Shelley Duvall" from Padres “SD”; “Timothée Chalamet" from Twins “TC”; “Coney 2012” from Giants “NY”).

  • Quote: "This is like the true workings of a maniac." —Joe [61:04]

• Hats were auctioned for charity. Mike Schur received "crab meat," Seth Rogen traded a vase for “Shelley Duvall."

• Shift into “future hat assignment” for the post-Taylor Timberwolves. Mike pledges to buy with his “aspiration” card, in a callback to their earlier financial-tangents.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "He's my son, but Garnett's my dad." —Joe Mande on Anthony Edwards and Kevin Garnett [14:20]
• "Wasting time with nonsense is one of the great joys of having the job that we have." —Mike Schur [11:08]
• "None of this matters. Antarctica is melting." —Joe Mande’s Twitter bio [06:18]
• "Burn book. As in, a Mean Girls–style list...77 things Glenn Taylor/the Wolves hate about Mark Lore and Alex Rodriguez." —Pablo Torre [39:12]
• "There’s a class of people…who have determined that shamelessness is a market inefficiency." —Mike Schur [47:27]
• "I remember you texting me pictures of these because I selected, I believe, crab meat..." —Mike Schur, on receiving one of Joe’s hats [61:10]
• "My only real interaction with Alex Rodriguez is him turning around briefly and seeing me and my friend on drugs falling into a pyramid of shoebox." —Joe Mande [51:43]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Topic/Segment | |--------------|----------------------------------------------------| | 02:01–03:42 | Mike Schur’s "Larry Bird" basketball story | | 04:28–05:21 | Joe’s Timberwolves superfan lore | | 05:27–07:09 | Twitter bots, digital nihilism | | 07:16–11:32 | Writers room dynamics, sports trivia, time-wasting | | 13:10–14:32 | Anthony Edwards worship | | 23:05–27:30 | Glenn Taylor profile, the bed negotiation skit | | 28:33–34:42 | Step transaction, Wolves’ ownership civil war | | 39:12–43:59 | The Burn Book: 77 reasons vs. Lore & Rodriguez | | 44:44–47:27 | Final NBA vote; Taylor’s courtside seats deal | | 49:35–51:43 | Joe’s Wolves devotion, A-Rod Mall of America story | | 53:50–59:00 | Embroidered hats—Share & Tell game | | 61:10–62:59 | Joe’s mania, Seth Rogen vase swap, future hats |

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Final Thoughts & Tone

The hosts and guests delight in the weird overlap between sports, personal eccentricity, and the larger-than-life foibles of powerful men. The franchise drama is never too far from a punchline: Pablo’s investigation into Timberwolves ownership is both a comedy and a tragedy for diehards like Joe, and a farce for everyone else. Jokes about “mean girls–style burn books,” Moldovan Twitter bots, lasagna-centric team gatherings, prosthetic-laden sitcom cameos, and hat embroidery mania serve as tongue-in-cheek markers for the episode’s central thesis: sports—like comedy—are best consumed with a side of self-aware absurdity.

The show ends on a fitting note: Joe is challenged to commemorate the new Timberwolves regime with another singularly odd, possibly unwearable hat, as Mike pledges to buy it with his carbon-offset debit card.

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For listeners new to the Timberwolves saga or the podcast’s tone, this episode is part NBA exposé, part comedy writers’ hang, and all delightfully askew.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out. I am Pablo Torre. And today we're gonna find out what this sound is.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

You look the same.

[A]

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[C]

So especially me.

[B]

You haven't changed your hair in 15 years. Selfies check, please.

[D]

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[B]

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[D]

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[B]

And I owe it all to you.

[D]

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[E]

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[C]

Can either of you tell me what this is?

[B]

Is that an ABA basketball?

[C]

Close.

[A]

Is that a Continental Basketball association basketball?

[C]

Here's your hint for what this is. Behind me.

[A]

Ready?

[B]

Oh, is that Larry Bird three point contest?

[A]

That's Larry Bird's walk off three.

[B]

That's awesome. Yeah.

[C]

Fought it at an auction. This is a tie for the money. Larry Bird at the buzzer with the.

[B]

Two point ball, 17 to 15. Defends the long distance shootout crowd at Chicago Stadium.

[A]

How much did Mike Scher pay for that?

[C]

Joe, what would you.

[A]

What Would you set the market value for Mike Scher's ownership?

[B]

I would. A staff writer's salary.

[C]

There's no writers on a man on the inside this year because I had.

[A]

To get some stuff.

[B]

Too many basketballs.

[A]

Why didn't the Field of Dreams show happen? Well, Mike decided to buy a basketball.

[C]

It's Kind of a short story, actually. Spent all the money on memorabilia.

[A]

How uncut gems was the bidding?

[C]

It wasn't that bad. Mostly because it is not 100% verifiable. This could just be a basketball.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, it's possible that it's just a ball ball.

[B]

You couldn't find the provenance.

[C]

There was a provenance letter that was from a guy who was like, I was there with my kid. He was a big Larry Bird fan. Bird sank the shot. The ball bounced to us, and the guy, like, brought it over, was like, here, you can keep this. So like, could be lying. Don't. I don't really care, as far as I'm concerned.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm just. I've decided it's the. It's the ball, so. It's the ball.

[A]

I am fairly certain that someone has. Has scammed you, now that you spell it out like that.

[C]

Yeah, totally possible.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

When you live a life that. The kind of life I live, you're. You make peace with the idea that you're being scammed constantly with these things.

[A]

Foreign Joe and Mike, you guys obviously know each other extremely well. Joe, I last saw. In person, maybe. I'm sure I've seen you since the All Star Game in New Orleans when I saw you at that party.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I was wearing a Les Miserables shirt. And I feel like at some point in that conversation, I discovered the thesis for why I've been telling you for months, you need to come on the show.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Which is that Joe Mandy is the world's number one Minnesota Timberwolves fan.

[B]

I'm in the, you know, top 10 for sure.

[C]

Who's your competition?

[A]

Yeah. Who else is in that top 10?

[B]

I mean, probably Craig Kilborn. They run. They roll out the red carpet for Craig Kilborn. And Sudie Lee, she. Yeah. So, you know. All right, there was a humiliating moment where I. I was on the Jumbotron at the Target center last time I was there. But then she was next, and she had just won multiple medals in the Olympics, so she got a. Well, she got a reaction, which I did not get from the crowd. But. But, yeah, I'm. I'm Timberwolves obsessive, for sure.

[A]

Mike, how would you explain what the Jumbotron should have said about who Joe Mandy is besides his Timberwolves fandom?

[C]

It should have said comedian, comma, provocateur. That's how I would describe you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Guy who acquired 1 million bots on Twitter.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Where were they from again? Moldova.

[B]

Yes, Moldova.

[A]

The same Place your basketball came from, Mike.

[C]

We were doing. We were. It was Parks and Rec era.

[A]

Right?

[C]

It could have said the Jumbotron. Comedian provocateur, nihilist. I think that would also apply because Joe was like, twitter is stupid. This is all stupid. None of this matters. I'm going to buy 1 million bots from Moldova for my Twitter account to. To make the point. And this is way pre. Elon to make the point that follower account is stupid.

[A]

I want to quote from Joe's Twitter bio, which may remain frozen in amber. Twitter is trash. Facebook's the devil. I bought 1 million followers for like $400. None of this matters. Antarctica is melting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Watch my special Netflix winky tongue out emoji.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You remember your location?

[B]

Was it Hollywood, but all the O's are like stars of David or something.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. And Your website is TrumpPrison camp.com.

[B]

Right. Someone bought that domain for me and it. It went straight to my website.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

I hesitate to inform you that the registration on that has not been kept up.

[B]

Yeah, I. I don't expect someone to keep that up for me.

[A]

Yeah, and you're also down to now 492.9.

[B]

Yeah, I was.

[C]

Oh, bummer. You lost like 200 bucks.

[B]

Yeah, but I may have funded a civil war in Mova. I don't know where that money went to, but yeah.

[A]

So you guys work together on Parks and Rec, obviously. I looked for some Morris highlights.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Hard to find on YouTube at least. I don't know if you guys can share some archival Morris footage with me or explain even who Morris, what Morris's full name is and who he was.

[B]

I think he's a Lurpus. I think he finally became a Lurpus towards the end.

[C]

We named it just to fill people in here. We named a character, we gave a character on the show the last name Lurpis. L, E, R, P I S S. And then we decided that the Lurpus family was like the low rent Kennedys of the town of Pawnee, Indiana, and that they were this like sprawling, multi generational dynasty of just losers though, not like powerful people. So when. So Joe played a character named Morris, who. How would you describe. He was basically you.

[A]

He was.

[C]

You showed up to meetings and like.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it was you very much based on me. And it was just like informing people that you can download movies for free. You don't have to like rent them.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You just showed up in places and pointed out how stupid everything was and.

[B]

And the name Morris came from a game we played in the room, which was. Morris was the name everyone agreed should be my name if we. If I wasn't given a name by my parents. So everyone has, like, a name. They sort of embody the movie's 25 years old, Morris. And if you don't like how I.

[A]

Tweet, don't follow me.

[B]

What are you doing now? I'm talking to you. I'm live tweeting this dumbass conversation. I was a Morris. I believe Chelsea Peretti was mad that she was a Kim. I remember that. She didn't.

[C]

Incredibly apt, though. Mine was Mark. But Morris appeared in a bunch of episodes over the years. But in the finale of the show, it leaped ahead, like, way into the future to sort of see what happened to every character. And we did this thing to Joe where we put Morris in, like, a sequence of episodes stretching out, like, 20, 30 years in the future. And we made his hairline recede and recede and recede until in the. In the finale, he's like, well, I.

[B]

Was at four hours of makeup. I was in a ball cap for a scene with no, like, classic.

[C]

Classic just hair.

[A]

Avatar level prosthetics.

[B]

Yeah. For this one, I mean, I kept getting. And then in. In the Good Place, I play a lava monster.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And for, like, for the first three episodes, I played the lava monster. I had to put on a full green, like, key. Keyframe, like, green outfit to be, like, removed later by cgi. And then the. The guy on set, on my fourth time putting on the suit, he was like, you know, you don't need to wear that. They're messing.

[C]

We're just gonna replace you.

[A]

Yeah. Which is all a long way of me establishing that Mike sure was your boss.

[B]

Yeah. Technically.

[A]

And the workplace that, sure. You provided and presided over, it is stunning that you are as prolific as you are, given what you just told us about what you guys did.

[C]

Well, I think that a key part of running a writer's room for a comedy show is that it ought to be fun all the time.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Like, if you're not having. If you can't have fun doing the job that Joe and I have done for many years now, there's something wrong with you as a person. I believe that. And there are plenty of stories out here of TV comedy writers rooms where everyone is like, it was a nightmare. I hated going to work. I was miserable. And I just don't understand that. I mean, it's a. It is. The best job you can have is to Go to a room and goof off with your friends and write jokes. So I, I am a firm believer in, you know, it's a grueling schedule at times, but like, wasting time with nonsense is one of the great joys of having the job that we have.

[B]

It's arguably my best. That's the thing I do best is that exact thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Joe is an expert at it and. And it was always a delight to have him around. He was there for parks and Rec and then the Good Place. He works on hacks now. Like, there's always a spot in any room that I ever will run or have any influence over for Joe Mandy, because he's one of the world's great team player time wasters.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Which is, I feel like a euphemism for. And again, I've met enough of your writers to know this guy who knows a disturbing amount of sports trivia and loves naming the names of athletes.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

I mean, it's like a dream. And we. One of the great time wasters for both of those shows, Parks and Rec. And a good place was sporkle quizzes. Yeah, we had. It was me and Joe and then Alan Yang was around for a long time.

[B]

Dave King, also Dave King.

[C]

And we would go to lunch. Coming back out of lunch, we would do a sporkle quiz that was like, name the top 500 all time NBA rebounders. And between the four of us, we'd get like 460.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Or like name every starting player on every lineup in the 2004, 2005 NBA season.

[B]

Getting mad at the person at the keyboard for spelling d' Alembert wrong, you know.

[C]

And at some point in every one of those quizzes, someone remembered Shays and Hayes.

[B]

Shay's and Hayes was a big one. Yeah.

[C]

Those were two guys we always forgot. And someone would go, Shay's and Hayes. Shayes and Hayes. Like, as time was ticking down, pet it. It was truly, truly love. Like the most enjoyable time I can remember spending.

[A]

Is this the first time, Mike, that you've seen the shirt that Joe has chosen to costume himself in today?

[C]

I don't know. I've seen him wear so many Anthony Edwards shirts over the years. I don't remember whether this is the first time. I don't think I've seen this one before. Is this new?

[B]

This one I got. This was new.

[A]

So describe what you're wearing.

[B]

I am wearing a shirt I paid a man on the Internet for and it's a giveaway.

[A]

Uga.

[B]

So this is Anthony Edwards one year at Georgia and they gave away a shirt with his likeness on it. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

It is some of the worst graphic design I think I've ever seen.

[B]

Yeah. What's funny about Anthony Edwards is I think he refuses to go into NBA 2K to get his face scanned. So he's never looked like he's the opposite of you.

[A]

You're. You'll sit down in a chair and get made up for no reason. And the Edwards is like, I don't even care what I look like.

[B]

I don't care what I look like.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Anthony Edwards, what is he to you in your fandom as a Timberwolf supporter?

[B]

I think he's already. I mean, it's not much of a Mount Rushmore, but I think he's just below Garnett at this point. Like, he's the all time. Like he's everything.

[A]

God.

[C]

Can I say something? Knowing you for a long time now.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I think he's above Garnett for you. I think that you're like, you're holding on to Garnett because he was the original. But the way that you talk about Anthony Edwards, you refer to him often as your biological son.

[B]

Well, yeah, I've heard you say that.

[A]

Yeah. You've also.

[C]

You think of him as a biological son.

[B]

Well, then I would say then in that case, it's like, he's my son, but Garnett's my dad.

[A]

Well, you also, I believe, said that you would jump in front of a bullet to save Anthony Edwards but not do that for. For your mom.

[B]

Right. I mean, because my mom's lived a full life and she can't win a championship. Like, she'll never. She can't do that for me.

[C]

She's terrible.

[B]

Yeah. She's got no handles. I did once. I went to a playoff game two years ago and I stayed. There's a hotel literally across the street from the Target Center. And I recognized from like 15 floors up, Anthony Edwards dog. And like took a photo from that angle of just a dog that I knew was Aunt Junior. He named his dog Junior, which is the dog's name. Funniest possible name. You know, I know the funniest people in the world and no one has named a dog themselves Junior.

[A]

That is so he also has.

[C]

He has children, I believe.

[B]

Yeah, he's got a lot.

[A]

He can't stop what Mike sure is to television shows. Anthony Edwards is the children.

[B]

Yes, My grandchildren, I call them.

[A]

I don't think I've told Sure. Any of this. I've given you now on the way into the studio, a heads up that I have intended this in part to be an update, in fact something close to a closing of a loop, if I am ever so bold as to declare an investigation complete into the Minnesota Timberwolves ownership saga.

[B]

Okay, good, because I. Look, I want to be upfront. I have given money to a tree planting service before, but that was more for like two bishops. So I think I have nothing to worry about now if this is just.

[A]

This does remind me before we get into this Mike, sh. Do you have. Do you have the evidence that I asked you to bring?

[C]

I don't have the actual credit card because I destroyed it. You did what? Yeah, yeah, I destroyed the card. But I have an aspiration now. Green fi. I have an account. I opened an account with it many years ago.

[A]

Yeah. So the premise of just like, who the was signing up for aspiration credit cards.

[B]

Oh, I get that. Because it was like a car, like a. You could buy carbon credits or something.

[A]

Explain, by the way, the point of why you. Mike. Sure. And when you bought this or signed up for it.

[C]

I have tried to remember since you asked me to come on and talk about this. I've tried to remember how I learned about aspiration. I'm 99 sure that the answer is through the LA Clippers because I go to a lot of Clippers games. I've got two friends who have season tickets and I go to a lot of games. One of, by the way, one of those friends who shall remain nameless has tickets very close to Steve Ballmer. I have sat many times behind that lunatic as he yells and screams for every, you know, James Harden. Step back. So I believe I learned. I either learned about it from the Clippers or from the Red Sox, who also had a deal with aspiration.

[A]

I won't now speculate who I think may have sold you the basketball, but it might be one of the parties now that you all can I Kawaisa.

[C]

I saw this company and they were like, here's the pitch. You deposit money with us and then when you buy things with a debit card, they. We round up and you. The money goes to plant trees. And I was like, look, you got to put your money somewhere. And I was dumb enough to say yes, but I was smart enough to say like, I'm not going to give them a lot a lot of money. I'm going to give them a small amount of money. And I. Because you don't use debit cards very often, but I would go to Rite Aid or whatever and get toothpaste. And I would like use that debit card and you would be $7.83 and then 17 cents would get kicked up to a tree somewhere. Right. And I follow along. Yeah. Allegedly a 6 foot, 7 inch power.

[A]

Forward tree, tree type person.

[C]

Yeah. And I, I kind of liked it. It was like a thing I didn't think about a lot. And, and you know, I, I was like, oh, I, I've planted 38 trees over the last year of going to Rite Whatever. So the, you know, the only weird thing that ever happened with it is I did go to a Clippers game once and in like the second quarter, this guy came over to me and said, hey, do me a favor real quick. Take this paper bag full of money over to that guy on the Clipper's bench. And I was like, why? And he was like, don't worry about for the trees.

[B]

It's for the trees.

[C]

For the. For the trees. Yeah. And so other than that, there was nothing unusual about my aspiration account. But I did. I am one of the people.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

One of the proud few who had an aspiration debit card.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're a Los Angeles area good guy who wanted to do good guy stuff while loving sports.

[C]

What's the difference? To me it was like, look, is it better to have like Citibank make money off of my debit card transaction? So I have to say that like that The. Your first report on aspiration, as you.

[A]

Started talking, he's now going to defend aspiration. This is what's happened. This is an odd turn of events in this episode.

[C]

As I started to listen to the report and you started mentioning aspiration, I started realizing what was going on. I was like, I had that like, sinking feeling of like, oh, no, am I in trouble? Did I do this?

[A]

Am I going to be in this episode? You're going to be in this one. In fact, you're going to be in this one.

[B]

That's how I feel about anytime Moldova is in the news. I feel like, oh, no, did I fund this?

[A]

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[C]

Monday Sidekick the AI agent that knows you and your business thinks ahead and takes action.

[A]

Ask it anything seriously. Monday Sidekick Kick AI you'll love to use. Start a free trial today on Monday.com as it turns out the billionaire that I want to start with here in this sequel to the Timberwolves investigation, we got to begin with Glenn Taylor. A different billionaire, a different longtime NBA owner. And Joe Mandy, how would you describe for people who've never heard of Glenn Taylor, who that is?

[B]

He's the bane of my existence. He has the Morris haircut, kind of. He has the bald head and. Yeah, just a skeleton who sits on the courtside seats next to the Timberwolves bench and has, like, literally ruined 20 years of my life.

[A]

A local guy. He was like a congressman.

[B]

Yeah, something like that. He was.

[C]

Yeah, he was a paper magnet.

[B]

He owns, like, chicken slaughterhouses. There were a lot of protests against him and his chicken.

[A]

Right. He was a Republican Minnesota state senator from 81 to 1990. He was assistant minority leader from 83 to 85, minority leader from 85 to 88.

[B]

And it was like, state senator. What do I know about that? I know absolutely nothing. I had never been to a caucus meeting, any type of organization meeting by either party ever in my life.

[A]

That's just the local Minnesota politics stuff. Point being, he has that. That seat next to the bench that Joe referenced, this iconic seat. And also there is a bit of a table read I'd like you guys to do here.

[B]

Ooh.

[A]

So I'm gonna text you both a transcript. And this transcript is one of my favorite things that the Athletic has published. It is the dialogue, or rather the oral history of how Glenn Taylor bought the Timberwolves. It is a two character play. I am hitting send on it now. Mike Shearer, I'd like you to play the part of NBA commissioner Adam Silver, who was then the deputy commissioner of the NBA.

[C]

A part I was born to play.

[A]

That's right. And Joe Mandy, I'd like you to be your bane of your own existence, Glenn Taylor. So this is from an article entitled the Long Days and Wild Nights that Saved the Wolves from Leaving Minnesota by John Krasinski. And it begins with Adam Silver's recollection.

[C]

I remember I got to the lobby of the hotel, picked up the house phone, asked for Mr. Taylor, and was put through to his room. He said, just come on up to my room. It wasn't like we met in the hotel lounge or something. I went to his room in fitting with sort of his modest approach to the world. He had a small room with one queen size bed.

[B]

Okay, now me is Glenn Taylor. Those guys in New York, they're so used to staying in the suites. I'm looking at it. I'm saying, which one do you pay.

[C]

$17 for many of the team owners. Hotel rooms I've been in since then have closets that are bigger than the room that Glenn was staying in that night.

[B]

He was business, I was business. It was strictly get the deal done and how are we going to do it?

[C]

We spoke for about an hour, just me. Following my boss's instruction. The goal was to get Glenn on the phone with David Stern. It must have been 11 o' clock at night in New York. I said, Mr. Taylor, let's call David.

[B]

Stern straight to the point. Because I wanted to get back to work and get back to Mankato.

[C]

I think his wife answered. I said, I'm so sorry I'm calling this late. But David told me to.

[B]

He's got a good story to tell for this part of it. It's even worse what he says. He says there were no chair. We both had to lay down on the bed to discuss it.

[C]

There was a queen sized bed and a phone on each side of the bed. Nobody had a cell phone with a speakerphone on it. So for us to both talk to David, I said, all right, I'll sit on one side of the bed if you sit on the other. We ended up being on the phone with David for more than an hour. Here's this man I just met and we're both. As this call went on, you can imagine us both sort of reclining, not lying on the bed, but sort of as if you were reading a book on each side of the bed, having a conversation with each other, and David Stern lying on this queen sized bed in a hotel room and talking through the deal with David.

[B]

He said, well, Commissioner, I think we found the guy we've been looking for for the last three years and he's here right beside me.

[C]

I think it began with us sitting on the edge of the bed on each side. I think I followed Glenn's lead. He was the first one to lay down while we were talking. And then I did, too. The rest is history, so to speak.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

This was how the Timberwolves were saved, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They were saved by this guy Glenn Taylor and a young Adam Silver in bed together.

[B]

Yeah, a sort of decent proposal.

[A]

A very decent, documented proposal. And so all of that is to say that from 94 to now, April 2021, as I previously reported on this show, Glenn Taylor does the unthinkable. I mean, as a fan, you've seen him kind of like head fake a sale.

[B]

Yes. He's like the one thing you can give him is that he was offered multiple times, I think to move the team by selling it. And he wanted the team to stay in Minnesota.

[A]

And so during the pandemic, Glenn Taylor agrees to sell the Timberwolves and the Minnesota Lynx to an ownership group that on paper, from a pure just like guy sitting in a writer's room, coming up with hypotheticals is objectively very funny. Yes, because Joe Mandy's team finally loosened, it seems, from the grip of that old man skeleton who now is in charge of the T Wolves.

[B]

It's Alex Rodriguez and the man who owns Diapers.com well, Mark Ward and a.

[A]

Company called Wonder and various other things that have made him a billionaire. But the price of buying the T Wolves and the Lynx, do you remember Mike Scher what they paid in April of 2021?

[C]

It's shockingly low compared to all other sales of all franchises in all sports before and since is all I remember.

[A]

The Minnesota Timberwolves have been sold to E Commerce mogul Mark Lore and former baseball star Alex Rodriguez appears person with knowledge of the deal tells the Associated Press they paid one and a half billion dollars to buy the team from owner Glenn Taylor. Taylor previously said the deal was contingent on Lore and Rodriguez keeping the team in Minnesota. According just to be very clear about the context, we would soon watch the Phoenix Suns get sold for 4 billion in 2022. The Hornets get sold for 3 billion in 2023. The Lakers get sold for 10 billion in 2025. The Celtics Mike Shura Celtics get sold for 6.1 billion in 2025 as well. Meanwhile, the Minnesota Links alone would be valued currently at $240 million. So the whole thing of it's the pandemic, he never wanted to do this 1.5 is the price. The key bit of detail to that transaction is that it was a pretty complicated but deliberate mechanism called a step transaction. And a step transaction just to be very tldr about it is you pay it over time. And the big issue here was that come March of 2024, Joe y Glenn Taylor announces to Timberwolves fans and the.

[B]

World what he didn't want to sell a team anymore.

[A]

So I just need to jump in here to clarify that this isn't exactly what Glenn Taylor, the bane of Domandi's existence, the owner of the team with the worst all time winning percentage in NBA history, the billionaire who additionally alienated his own best player Kevin Garnett, had announced it was slightly different. Taylor thought his days were done as owner of the Wolves when he struck a deal to sell the club three years ago.

[C]

But according to Taylor's lawyers, Mark Lore.

[A]

And Alex Rodriguez failed to meet the final requirement, and thus the team remains in his control. In fact, what Glenn Taylor wanted everybody to know was that Alex Rodriguez and Mark Lore could not and did not come up with the $600 million needed to fulfill their final requirement in order to complete that NBA franchise payment plan. This step transaction, and this is the central allegation at the heart of this ownership civil war, which did seem to blindside Alex Rodriguez and Marc Lore, by the way, who had made the previous payments totaling $600 million without a parent issue, and who had just spent the previous three years as Taylor's limited partners helping run the team in real life.

[C]

We get an email that says, we've been locked out of the building.

[A]

We can no longer go into the owner suite.

[C]

We can't go into our family room.

[A]

We can't talk to Tim Conley. We can't talk to Coach.

[C]

All the players have reached out. They've been extremely supportive.

[B]

It's just, it hurts.

[A]

It really just hurts, like, a lot. Like, I've never had this situation.

[B]

I've never sued anyone.

[A]

I've never been sued.

[B]

Like, the fact that somebody would do.

[A]

That and be planning this and just.

[B]

Ambush us, as Alex said, and be so disingenuous, and it's just really, it's really hurtful. I don't know what else to say.

[A]

I, he was a partner, but Glenn Taylor on television continued to claim the high road.

[B]

I mean, you liked him at first, right?

[C]

I'm assuming. Well, I, I, I like him now.

[B]

I, it isn't that I don't dislike them. I know that they've taken some shots at me.

[A]

I prefer they didn't.

[B]

And I, and I won't against them.

[A]

Yeah, more on that in a bit. But what PTFO exclusively reported in that first Timberwolves episode that we did alongside Joe Mandy's fellow Timberwolves superfan, the great Zack Harper, is that Marc Lowry and Alex Rodriguez were correct. They did, in fact, meet their final requirement. According to four sources, they did, in fact, submit that required $600 million on time. I obtained the paperwork, I obtained the contract language to prove that out.

[B]

And yet you saw the spreadsheets of how many diapers were sold.

[A]

It was a bit of, yeah, a pants, though. I mean, truly like the mess that happened here. Glenn Taylor's allegation is, they're broke boys. Meanwhile, Adam Silver, who's on the bed with Glenn in 84, is now saying in all sorts of Ways privately and publicly. We should probably stop doing the step transaction stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because this is. This is a recipe for this exact disagreement.

[B]

Well, yeah, you're just in this limbo where Glenn Taylor is sitting across the court from a Rod and Mark Laurie and you're at like playoff games at playoff games, and you find yourself being like, I just want a Rod to own my team. I, you know, like, I just want this to end. I want the diaper guy in. Like, this is nuts. And then you're like, yeah, you're choosing sides, but you just want it to end. Because also, the Wolves are good for the first time in a generation. Like, just like, don't let this skeleton ruin what's happening here on the floor. Like, it's such a distraction.

[C]

This is the important part to me as an outsider, because the other difference between when he made the original sale and when it was supposed to go through, besides the hornets selling for 3 billion and the Celtics for 6 and the Lakers for 10, is when he made the decision, the team was bad. And by the time it was time for payment number three, the team was incredible and has a generational talent.

[B]

He's just like, oh, I never mind. I like this.

[C]

Now wait a second. Hold on. Now they're good. I want to keep them. It seemed like the obvious read on that.

[A]

Yeah. And it's important to point out that, like, Glenn Taylor did care about basketball. I mean, look, did he spend money? No. Did he want the team to be good? Yes.

[B]

Signing illegal contracts. Well, Glenn Taylor was behind the illegal Joe Smith signing that just crushed the Wolves for years and years. They lost so many draft picks in the process. And he has a toxic relationship with my father, Kevin Garnett, and refuses to acknowledge him or put up a. His number in his in the rafters or put a statue outside, which he absolutely deserves. And yeah, so it's just like, we just want this era to close.

[C]

And it should be noted, the difference between that illegal contract and all of the stuff that's been going on with the Clippers and aspiration and everything else that Pablo's been reporting on is that in. In their case, they were dumb enough Timberwolves were to just write it down. Yeah, they just wrote down on a piece of paper, if you. If you agree to this, we will give you more money later in case the owner of the team dies.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And so the reason that it. The only reason that Ballmer continues to get away with what he apparently has gotten away with is because they weren't that dumb. They weren't as dumb as the Timberwolves were back in the day.

[B]

They were planting trees, not turning them into paper to write anything, and then.

[C]

Writing stuff down on it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it is funny that, like, the one lesson you might learn from Glenn Taylor's tenure as the guy who was so guilty of Capstone convention that they got docked at first five draft picks, he was suspended for a season. Kevin McHale, the gym of the team, was also effectively suspended for a season. Various other fines and so forth. Is we probably shouldn't write this down insofar as the people we're doing this secret side deal with are worried that Glenn Taylor might die before it can be enforced. And spoiler alert, Glenn Taylor, as of press time, alive.

[B]

Alive.

[A]

And the reason that contract got exposed was there was a separate bit of litigation between agents, and that's how it got entered into the public record. And so all of that was, again, just very Timberwolves. It was all very Timberwolves. Which is all to say that when this deal is falling apart, a lot of it, I think the broad perception was. Of course it is.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yes, of course. Like, even though Tim Connolly, who is the guy who was running the Nuggets, who's one of the great GMs in the sport.

[B]

Incredible. Yeah.

[A]

Who was now building this real contender.

[B]

He had language in his contract that was basically like, if Glenn Taylor stays, I'm out. I will leave this team.

[A]

I have been told is that Tim Connolly definitely on the side of new management, much like Joe Mandy in the sort of emotional, sort of like, matrix of where is everybody? Who's rooting for what? So the point being that finally, finally we can get to this year. When I started DMing, Joe and I was like, I think we should do an episode together. Because it's July 2025, and the Timberwolves are owned by Alex Rodriguez and Mark Lorre.

[B]

Inshallah. Yeah.

[A]

And I want to explain why. So the thing that had happened, which is just very, very funny to me, also takes place in the neighborhood where Joe Mandy saw Anthony Edwards Dog.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because what happens here took place in a closed door, secret private arbitration 10 blocks away from the Target Center. And you walk in, it's a five day arbitration hearing in downtown Minneapolis. And there are three arbiters, of course, in the front of the room, and there's a podium. And the way that I want to have you guys envision it is like some high school debate, because that's how it's been described to me by multiple sources. We've got Dozens of people in the room. We got the aforementioned owners and would be owners and former owners. We got Glenn's wife, Becky, of course, who's always there.

[B]

Yep. And she forces the players every year to eat lasagna at her house.

[A]

Oh, that's right. I've seen video of that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Lasagna supposedly pretty good, I hope, because.

[B]

It tell me, looks so whack. These guys have to go good for.

[C]

Good for athletes, too.

[A]

Yeah, it's like that's the food. Yeah, that's right. The biometric data says we want more of the lasagna.

[B]

What are the macros in the thicker lasagna.

[A]

But in the room is also. Yes. The layers. The lasagna style layers of this room. We got lawyers, we got assistants, we got dozens of people. And so what is sort of the top line thing here that has been communicated to me and has been talked about by multiple league sources is that Glenn Taylor's legal strategy again, this is the thing he cares about the most. The thing he fought tooth and nail, put his reputation on the line for, assailed their reputation in the process of trying to keep his team. His legal strategy was, quote, baffling, which is to say that something that Mark and Alex's legal team had discovered in discovery, what they had discovered, what they had found out, is that Glenn Taylor, in the months during this push and pull, had two executives create what amounts to a burn book. As in like a mean girl style list. A list that has been described to me as numbered and 77 items long. And this list of 77 things Glenn Taylor, slash the Timberwolves hate about Mark Laurie and Alex Rodriguez was communicating to the NBA and then to anyone who would listen. You can't approve.

[B]

These guys, these diapers, they have terrible absorption.

[A]

Some items on this are.

[C]

I'm so happy right now.

[A]

Mark Laurie had dinner with Kevin Garnett and never told me. Huh. Alex Rodriguez did steroids.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He did a funny photo shoot where he was like kissing a mirror or something. That must have been in there.

[C]

Has. This has a painting in his room of a scent of him as a centaur.

[A]

We also have as a coaster there.

[B]

Oh, amazing.

[A]

Mark Laurie came in with his friends into the arena with a. With an opal bottle of alcohol, which apparently may or may not have been a corked wine bottle that he was.

[B]

Accused of being alcohol at a sporting event.

[A]

Oh, he was being a drunk.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

A rod is a liar. A rod is a cheat. A rod had the largest suspension in MLB history. Basically a series of exhibits that Were emailed back and forth, which is how they were discovered to executives.

[B]

That's the modern version of writing it down. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And apparently in the legal proceedings. Yeah. It was revealed that these were meant to be shown to the NBA, to Adam Silver, to make the case that these guys cannot possibly own an NBA team. Apparently another item was they were disagreeing with us about changes that should be made to the arena. And they get to 77 things. But it's all along the lines of just like, sir, does anyone here remember that this is a hearing related to arbitration about a legal contract?

[C]

A legal proceeding. A legal proceeding. Yeah.

[A]

And none of this has anything to do with anything. Unfortunately. I am told what they do is in the room, they pursue their strategy, which is nonetheless to bring out a series of video exhibits, one of which is, and I cannot reiterate enough how much this is a part of their strategy. The interview that A Rod did with Katie Couric.

[B]

What? For the record, have you ever used steroids, human growth hormone, or any other performance enhancing substance? No.

[C]

None of it is particularly relevant in a legal proceeding regarding the sale of an entirely unrelated franchise and sport.

[A]

And also sport and sport.

[C]

Right.

[A]

It is just funny to me, though, A lot of what you bill hourly, a lot of this was about, like, can we just talk about how much A Rod allegedly sucks? That was kind of their strategy.

[C]

Can I also add here, though, that little exercise you had Joe and me do at the beginning of this talking, right. Revisiting the Adam Silver and Glenn Taylor in bed. Like, what it says to me that this was his legal strategy is that like, that actually was predictive in some way because he, in his mind was like, I know these guys. I'm buddies with these guys. There's a back room, rich dude clubhouse ethos here.

[B]

I snuggled with one of them.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

We reclined together in a bed in Minneapolis.

[A]

And that.

[C]

And like, in his mind, he's like, I just have to appeal to their like, rich dude, insider baseball kind of club. And they'll. They'll be with me. They won't in. And he's just totally mistaking that level of camaraderie for a legal matter before the court in an arbitration.

[B]

I'm cool.

[C]

Yeah, I'm cool.

[B]

You've only suspended me once for a year. But, like, I'm chill, dude.

[A]

I think it's important to remember too, that Glenn Taylor, for all of the jokes, is a two term past chairman of the NBA board of governors.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

2008 to 2012 and then 2014 to 2017. And I think a big part of all of this, like the. My crazy pills that I feel like I'm taking, is that you can in fact, establish various. I would say, dispositive, even legal exhibits. And yet the only thing that matters is what this backroom conversation, that's not a real justice system is going to do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And in the balance hangs lots of principles of, like, you think it's framed and sold as fairness, but in reality are just a bunch of people making personal decisions in ostensibly what they perceive to be the best interests of the league. Of the league. Basketball reasons, as I believe David Stern once said, about vetoing a certain trade involving a guy who plays now with the guy who allegedly is planting trees. With the trees. Yeah. So that happens. And the arbitrator is like, yeah, we're gonna go with the centaur guy and the diapers guy. And in reality, what happens is there is a vote where the NBA owners have to gather. And so what I am told is that there is a vote. It's a remote call. I was told eight or nine owners, plus maybe like 20 people from the.

[B]

League, all on, like, seven queen size mattresses.

[C]

In the same room, 30 people.

[A]

On one, one tiny bed. But it's a zoom call. And something that's stunning to everybody is, of course, the face that pops up with some questions, even at the very end when it seems like this has all been decided because there on a. And I'm told he was muted and didn't know it and had to be unmuted to then be told no. Is Glenn Taylor. Yeah, he's just like, you know, he's not. He's not gonna let this go down without a fight. But I want to give you the upshot, because we know, of course, that Glenn ultimately agrees to sell the team. The price is enforced. $1.5 billion. In fairness to Glenn, if you could undo that deal, you probably should.

[B]

Yeah, he only made. He only made $1.4 billion in profit.

[C]

But it's not in fairness to him. He's the one who agreed to it.

[A]

In the first place.

[C]

He had no idea how much his asset was worth.

[A]

But this is the thing that Glenn ends up negotiating. The upshot of this, as Joe Mandy is celebrating that finally Glenn Taylor is out of his life. Anthony Edwards and Anthony Jr. Are free from this man. What Glenn Taylor negotiates at the finish line is to have Mark Laurie and Alex Rodriguez purchase for him for the next decade, four courtside seats next to the team bench. As Joe Mandy had initially mentioned at.

[B]

The top of this episode, it. Oh, my God, he's not going anywhere. No.

[A]

That is the moral of this story.

[B]

Yes, that's.

[A]

You could technically be shamed and forced to sell and have all this enforced upon you, but that dude's not going anywhere, man.

[B]

O. All right. Good seats. They're good seats.

[C]

Pablo, you said on an interview a while ago about a different subject that there is a. There's a class of people in this country who have determined that shamelessness is a market inefficiency. I believe was the quote. If you were Glenn Taylor. If I were Glenn Taylor, the last place in the world I would want to be seen as courtside at a Timberwolves game for like 100 reasons. But the shamelessness, the lack of self reflection, to think that, like, okay, fine, I drove the franchise into the ground and kept it there for 20 years. I don't talk to Kevin Garnett. I blew the sale of this so badly, I made a burn book and tried to get with it at an arbitration hearing. And after all that, okay, fine, I'm still going to the games. Like, and I'm still. I'm sitting in the front row next to the bench.

[A]

How do you.

[C]

How are you not so embarrassed that you want to slink away and hide forever? Like, I just don't understand how these people have no sense of embarrassment or chagrin. I just. It blows my mind.

[A]

Built different. Like, built different. Glenn Taylor is walking back onto the court with his finger held in the air like Larry Bird, man.

[C]

That's right. Yeah, he nailed it. He nailed it. He drilled the three at the end.

[B]

I am curious what the language is, though. I wonder if they. If it says four course ice seats for 10 years at Target center because there may be a new arena in the future. And then maybe he doesn't get those seats because they. Yeah, I don't know. I'm hope. I'm trying to. To find a silver lining.

[A]

I like the idea of trying to find the loophole in this agreement such that Glenn Taylor just bought four courtside seats next to the Timberwolves bench in a hollowed out husk.

[B]

Yes, he. He still shows up. The games are across town, but he's still there.

[C]

Yeah, it's like an. It's basically an abandoned mall and he's just sitting in the front.

[A]

Yeah, it's Glenn Taylor sitting in his seat next to. Yeah. The ghost of Joe Smith. I. I feel like I didn't deliver the congratulations that Joe Mandy was expecting necessarily. But I do think you should be optimistic about your team, man.

[B]

I am. I. I love them. I. They're so good. A couple years ago, I went to the elimination game against the Nuggets, I believe, and ended up at some sort of, like, after game party. And I remember I cornered Jared Vanderbilt and told him I loved him, and he was like, all right. And then Mark Laurie was doing a magic trick for Malik Beasley's mom. What an perfect interrupted magic trick to introduce myself. And he did not. I kind of ruined the magic trick. So I think I. I think I blew. Blew it with more glory. But a rod, I could. I could maybe foster a friendship with him.

[A]

Well, as a sports fan, did you have any prior interactions with Alex?

[B]

There was. When I was in high school, my mall was the Mall of America. And there was a year, I think it was my junior year of high school, I used to do a thing where the day before Yom Kippur was like a mini Rumspringo for me. So I would try to get in as many sins as I could. Like the night before Yom Kippur. So, like, I was at the Mall of America on drugs with my friend Landon, and we spotted Alex Rodriguez walking around the Mall of America. There must have been a game the next day. So my friend and I stalked him for over an hour while high on drugs. And I got into an argument with my friend Landon because I used the word whack in a sentence. And then he told me I wasn't allowed to use that word. I wasn't cool enough to pull off the word whack. And I said, I can use whack. And we're mere feet from Alex Rodriguez. And then we started shoving each other over my usage of the word whack. And then my friend yelled, hey, a rod. A rod turned around, and then my friend pushed me into a pyramid of shoeboxes that were in a, I believe, Bloomingdale's or Macy's. So my only real interaction with Alex rigging is him turning around briefly and seeing me and my friend on drugs falling into a pyramid of shoebox. Yeah, but that's. That's my only memory of Alex Rodriguez. Really?

[C]

What do you think of the chances he remembers that? I'll bet he. There's like a 5% chance.

[B]

I mean, it was insane.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I hesitate to say that the investigation I thought was over has just reopened. Oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah. I did ask God to forgive me for that the next day. So I'm cleaning.

[A]

On the holiest of days.

[B]

I'm sorry, Lord, for maybe kind of confusing Alex Rodriguez briefly in a Macy's.

[A]

Dude, did you order the new iPhone 17 Pro? Got it from Verizon, the best 5G network in America. I never look so good.

[B]

You look the same.

[A]

But with this camera, everything looks better.

[C]

Especially me.

[B]

You haven't changed your hair in 15 years. Selfies check, please.

[D]

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[C]

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[E]

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[C]

Pablo, do you want to see the hats that Joe made me?

[A]

I would love to see. I would love to see the hats. Actually, Mike, could you explain what this thing is?

[C]

I think Joe should explain it because it's a. It's like a person in severe emotional distress. Is the. Is the headline.

[B]

Yeah. Well, I mean, this was a moment of, you know, Covid quarantine mania.

[A]

Some people sell the Timberwolves for $1.5 billion.

[B]

It was the same era. It was the same exact era where Glenn Taylor saw the scepter of death approaching and decided to sell the team for much less than it was worth. I was losing my mind, trapped in my house, and I started ordering hats, and I taught myself how to embroider hats. So then I would match the colors of the hats and make words out of the lettering, the letters provided by the hats.

[C]

So, for example, the famous Milwaukee brewers logo with that. With. It's a glove, but it's got a B and an M in the logo. That becomes crab meat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I put a crab in there. That's really good.

[C]

Yeah, there's a crab in the middle there of the glove. The glove has caught a crab right there in the pocket.

[B]

But you Know, I gave. Mulaney has one, a Detroit Tigers one that says Dershowitz on it. So, like, it was just. Sometimes it was, like, sort of tailored to the person I was making them for.

[A]

The Alan Dershowitz Detroit Tigers collab. Man, you should put that on. On a web store somewhere.

[B]

I really.

[A]

The other one request.

[C]

This requires a little explanation, but I have. My producing partner, Morgan Sackett, years ago, started calling me Bubba as a nickname. I think trying to find a nickname that was like, the opposite of, like, the vibe that I give out.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You're not a commission. This is a commission.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

He. He did a Red Sox hat for me where the B in the Red Sox logo is the middle B in the word bubba.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I don't. I don't. It should be noted, do not wear these.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can't wear them because the secondary value would be ruined if you. If you took them out. That's right. You gotta.

[C]

Gotta keep them pristine. For sale down the road.

[A]

What other. What other ones, Joe, did you. Did you make that? I would love to buy that. I can't, apparently.

[B]

I know there was one. That was the West Virginia Mountaineers. It was a hat that I made. Will Wilmer Valderrama, and I. I. During COVID I auctioned off a bunch of hats for charity. And all the money obviously went to Kawhi Leonard.

[A]

And.

[B]

Yeah, that was the most special.

[A]

Okay. I found. I found some others. There's Houston Astros cap where the H with the star is the. Is the h in the word horny.

[B]

Yeah. Huh.

[A]

There is Kansas City Royals cap where the KC is naturally Kurt Cobain.

[B]

Cobain. Kentucky University of Kentucky says Sepaku.

[A]

Part of the thing that I think people who are just listening need to go to YouTube to fully appreciate is that it is an incredible work of embroidering. Yeah. But it.

[C]

Embroidery is incredible.

[A]

Yeah. But I would say that the. The sort of like the. The way you lined up the letters is manic.

[B]

Oh, for sure. I was. I was in an unhealthy place. The. The one that my head is blocking. There is a New York Mets hat, and the lettering goes down to say the word nyquil onto the. Onto the brim of the hat. That was impossible.

[A]

We got an A's cap where the A is pasta. It's the first A in pasta. Waffles Nationals cap. That's waffles. This one's good. I mean, this one. The Tampa Bay Rays. The TB is the TNB and roast beef. Yeah.

[B]

That Noah Garfinkel has that one shout out to Proudly displayed in his house.

[A]

Yeah, the cow one where it's Mezcal.

[B]

Mezcal.

[A]

Yep. Oh, wait, look at you. But you embroidered a. A drink on the side. Absolutely. A real heat shot.

[B]

I like. I kind of blacked this era of my life out. Yeah, this is. I did so many.

[A]

And this is a Cardinals cap where it's wrestling, which is a hard thing, but the stl. Yeah, right. All there.

[C]

Oh, stl.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Can you give me. Tell me. Tell me what it is, and I'll try to guess. Let's play again.

[A]

Oh, that's good. That's good. Oh, it did that one.

[B]

Okay, these are good.

[A]

The San Diego Padres, the SD.

[C]

SD. Let's do it.

[B]

Oh, no, think more like 70s movies.

[C]

I give up.

[B]

Shelley Duvall, of course.

[A]

Obviously, in the classic Shelley Duvall color block. Gold and brown.

[C]

I'm just realizing now what a bad idea was for me to volunteer to try to guess what. Yeah, there's a zero point hometown.

[A]

Minnesota Twins. The TC for Twin Cities, Mike, is.

[C]

I'm gonna guess that's the middle TC of a word. Like watch or.

[B]

You're wrong. This is again, think, think. Like 2010s movies.

[A]

This one would, I mean, truly maybe fetch the most in the secondary market today. Probably as a hint.

[C]

Trevor Cahill. So close.

[B]

So close. Timothy Chalamet. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Accent over the first.

[B]

Okay, then. But this next one. This one is San Francisco Giants sf, And it is the middle letters.

[A]

We're looking for a word.

[B]

We're looking for a word. Sort of a medical word.

[C]

Misfit.

[B]

No, I'm sorry. Transfusion.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, holy, what you had.

[B]

Is that a SS Hamburger.

[A]

Is that.

[B]

Baylor University says hamburger.

[A]

Comes to hamburger. The Phillies is. Is simply pizza.

[B]

Just pizza. I did like a sort of a food run here.

[A]

Yeah, you did. The Seattle Mariners. Yeah.

[B]

Sushi.

[A]

Sushi.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Weirdly, that one's weirdly apropos for the team.

[B]

Yeah. On the nose.

[A]

People saying Joe fell off when they saw that one.

[B]

They're like, come on, man.

[A]

I came for Shelly's earlier stuff. Yeah, there's a Pirates pee. It's just the second pee of popcorn. With a popcorn.

[B]

Actually, Shelly Duvall is the only one I bartered. I got. I got a. Oh, yeah.

[A]

All right, Mike. Here you go.

[B]

This one's good. New York Giants.

[A]

New York Giants. Ny.

[C]

Is it the middle letters or is. Is it kind of the word?

[A]

Well, I'll give you this very specific clue. They're the last two letters. Of a. Of a. Of a name, a surname, and it's followed by a very specific year. Oh, my God.

[C]

Anthony.

[B]

No, Coney 2012.

[A]

We were looking for Tony 2012.

[C]

The New York Giants.

[A]

Cody's 2012 collaboration. Yeah. The Dershowitz. What I just found is incredible.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it has a stitched Alan Dershowitz.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Embroidered.

[B]

I can't believe I. I survived this. This is like the true workings of a maniac.

[C]

I remember you texting me pictures of these because I selected, I believe, crab meat from.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

A number of them that you had that were offering.

[B]

And I know Seth Rogen got Shelley Duvall in exchange for one of his vases that he. That was his, like manic.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Covid.

[C]

He did pottery. And it. It was more. I would say more practical or more of an art.

[A]

More. More.

[C]

Dare I can identify.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Of a revenue generator.

[B]

You know, I famously, I've only lost money on any. Anything I've ever done. So, like, like, in terms of merchandise or.

[A]

No, that 400 seemed to really pay off for you.

[B]

Yes. But I did not figure out a way to. To make any money off of these hats.

[A]

So I guess what we leave here at the end with is a challenge for Joe Mandy to do something with his truly new regime change Timberwolves.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

The next time we gather on this program, Joe, I would. I would beseech you to contemplate a Shelley Duvall level tribute.

[B]

Well, I gotta get the. The. The new retro logo. The old like 90s era logo had like a TW on the shorts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe I could do something with that.

[A]

Oh, shorts.

[B]

Yeah. I'll figure it out. That this is a good challenge.

[A]

It's hard to just give someone to assign someone work like that, but I dare say that much like Adam Silver and. And our old friend Glenn Taylor, this is the bed that Joe Mandy has made.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'll make a pledge to you, Joe, that if you make that hat, I'll purchase it from you with my aspiration credit card.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[C]

Yeah, we'll get some trees planted.

[B]

Only way to do it.

[A]

And we'll get.

[C]

We'll get Uncle Dennis some. Some new sneakers or something.

[A]

This has been Pablo Torre finds out a Meadowlark Media production. And I'll talk to you next time. Dude, did you order the new iPhone 17 Pro? Got it from Verizon. The best 5G network in America. I never looked so good.

[B]

You look the same.

[A]

But with this camera, everything looks better.

[C]

Especially me.

[B]

You haven't changed your hair in 15 years.

[D]

Selfies check please with Verizon, new and existing customers can get the new iPhone 17 Pro, designed to be the most powerful iPhone ever, plus a new iPad and Apple One with eligible phone trade in and unlimited ultimate best 5G to work root metrics the United States 12025 All Rights Reserve trade and additional terms apply for all offers. See verizon.com for details.

[E]

Looking for pieces that go places and last decades? Discover the Fall Edit from Banana Republic Founded in 1978, Banana Republic creates classics with character that carry you from adventure to the city and everywhere in between. Think shearling line leather that feels lived in sweaters spun from the finest wool and cashmere, and effortless pieces designed for the journey, grounded in heritage, reimagined for today and made to last. Explore the Fall edit [e-mail] Today we'll.

[A]

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