Share & Christmas & Tell with Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kayne (and Jordon Hudson)

Summary

Pablo Torre Finds Out – "Share & Christmas & Tell"

With Katie Nolan, Michael Cruz Kane (and Jordon Hudson)
December 23, 2025 • The Athletic Podcast Network

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Episode Overview

This festive, freewheeling holiday episode of "Pablo Torre Finds Out" brings together Pablo and his regular collaborators Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kane for an end-of-year roundtable full of laughter, meta reflections, listener engagement, and playful chaos. What starts as a loose, boozy holiday hang evolves into a meta discussion about their roles in sports media headlines, an actual call-in with a beloved fan, and an extended showcase of the community that’s grown around the show.

Highlights include: behind-the-scenes revelations about the year’s biggest stories (like the Bill Belichick/Jordon Hudson saga), the crew’s Hollywood doppelgängers, hilarious listener voicemails, a heartfelt call with superfan Cletus, gift exchanges, and a musical Omnichord finale.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Festive Kick-Off & Studio Banter

• In classic "Share & Tell" fashion, the group begins with lighthearted chaotic energy: Katie opens champagne (with danger to the tech!), and they roast each other’s drinking habits.
• [03:00] Katie: "In a room full of this much expensive equipment? I could try."
• Michael jokes about the champagne's effect on his personality:
  [04:32] "My genetic makeup will be drunk from this much. It will change my personality."

2. Meta Commentary on the Jordon Hudson Story

• The crew returns to their headline-grabbing reporting on Bill Belichick and Jordon Hudson’s relationship, noting how they’ve become part of the story, parodied on CBS’s "Elsbeth" with a character clearly inspired by their podcast and reporting.
• [08:09] Pablo recaps:
  "A consultant detective for the NYPD... There's an episode... the episode involves a young character whose name is Peyton Ramsey... may or may not be looming behind Katie Nolan at this moment."
• They react in real time to how their real podcasting (and personas) have inspired the TV depiction. Katie riffs on the character design:
  [10:11] "If I may, and this is editorializing immediately—more stylish than her inspiration. You know, cooler. She walked in the room, I was like, oh, it's a cool lady."

3. Life Imitating Art (Michael's Near-Stardom)

• Michael reveals that he auditioned for the TV role based on himself:
  [12:07] Michael: "I'm going to tell you the God's honest truth. I auditioned. I'm pretty sure. I mean, I haven’t heard this character talk yet."
• They read and reenact fictionalized lines, then watch the "Elsbeth" scene and compare notes, laughing at life’s recursive loop.
• Pablo offers context for new listeners:
  [12:59] "Michael is an actor...half of his face was in Severance."
• Katie: "Also, he had a line that got cut from Succession." ([13:30])

4. Show Impact & Jordan Hudson's Response

• They discuss the real-world ripple of their show, referencing:
  • Their reporting on Mike Lombardi being fictionalized and then killed off on TV.
  • Jordan Hudson’s cheeky engagement:
    [17:52] Pablo: "Jordan Hudson on November 19 at 8:45am said, quote, 'You're welcome.' Period."
  • An Instagram post with her “band” necklace and the caption:
    [18:20] Katie: "P S. I'm suing you. Heart hands."

5. Listener Hotline – The Community Speaks

• Pablo’s podcast voicemail (51385-PABLO) is celebrated, featuring earnest and wacky calls:
  • Tony P: heartfelt thanks for an episode about transgender issues
    [24:41] "My child is trans, and this one touched home a lot."
  • Tim Donaghy: the disgraced NBA ref calls in!
    [25:22] “Hey, Pablo, this is Tim Donaghy...”
  • Cletus from Navarre, FL: the breakout fan-star, repeatedly asking Pablo to “find out” stuff like "When did women start stinking?"

6. Live Call With Cletus – The Heart of the Episode

• In an unscripted, magical moment, Pablo calls back Cletus on his birthday.
• Cletus describes himself as a working-class feminist, Filipino food fan, and environmentalist ("I sling grease" – recycles restaurant oil), expressing deep affection for the show and its community.
• Cletus relates their success not just in sports talk but in creating "family":
  [35:01] "I wish I was there that night with y'all smoking bowls, man."
• He opines on gendered body spray ads ("I don't know no women that stink...I know a whole lot more dudes who smell"), making the hosts laugh and bond.
• Pablo names him the show’s "Florida Panhandle Correspondent" (unpaid, of course).

7. Segment: Gifts, Callbacks, and Podcast Lore

• Michael, Katie, and Pablo exchange presents:
  • Michael receives a suspiciously dense burger ("It has the density of...a space rock!” — Michael, [45:51])
  • Katie gets an Omnichord ("Why would you do that? I mean, you do owe me..." — Katie, [47:05])
• The conversation spirals into Pablo eating the burger live and the group serenading the audience with a Christmas standard on dueling Omnichords.
• They reminisce on a year of viral segments, like planting a tree outside the Clippers’ arena (which is promptly removed, only to be replaced).

8. Showcase: Listener-Made Music & the 50 Cent of Journalism

• Andrew Streeter gifts the show with an original podcast jingle, mashing up news moments and inside jokes (refs to Giannis, Riley Gaines, etc.).
• Pablo recounts being called “the 50 Cent of journalism”: [31:26] "I have been called...the 50 Cent of journalism."
• More listener music closes (and the running joke about being the “greatest sports journalist in the world”).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Katie Nolan, on Christmas podcasting:
  "This is what we have." [06:18]

• Michael Cruz Kane self-deprecating re: acting:
  "Half of his face was in 'Severance'." ([13:06])

• Voicemail from Cletus, on anti-women’s-body-spray ads:
  "I've noticed on the TV in the last year that they don't talk about men stinking, but women all of a sudden stink. I don't know no women that stinking...it's like, why? I mean, because I know a whole lot more dudes that smell." ([36:17])

• Cletus, defining the community:
  "Y’all called the worst person if you didn’t want adulation, because I am like Katie Nolan." ([34:30])

• Jordan Hudson's Instagram caption, via Katie:
  "P S. I’m suing you. Heart hands." ([18:20])

• Pablo, on the surreal TV adaptation:
  "Very vaguely, I was going to say. So is this play about us?" ([14:08])

• Michael, on the density of his gift burger:
  "If you held this, you’d be like, it’s crazy how heavy it is. It defies all logic." ([45:37])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:00] — Champagne-opening shenanigans
• [06:44] — Meta reflection on how the show’s reporting has become part of the pop-culture story
• [08:09] — Deep dive into "Elsbeth" TV parody
• [12:59] — Michael’s actor backstory; Severance and Succession cameos
• [17:52] — Jordan Hudson’s reactions to media attention
• [24:41] — Moving listener voicemail about trans acceptance in sports
• [25:22] — Tim Donaghy, disgraced NBA referee, calls in
• [26:45] — Legendary Cletus voicemail (“When did women start stinking?”)
• [33:06 - 37:59] — Live call with Cletus: birthday, grease-slinging, unsolicited family invite
• [45:04] — Gift exchange: Michael's mysterious burger and Katie's lavish Omnichord
• [47:52] — The Omnichord Christmas musical finale

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Tone & Vibe

This episode is peak end-of-year "Share & Tell": rambunctious, self-aware, warm, and unpredictable—with the hosts fully leaning into their comedic chemistry, absurd tangents, and affection for their strange, devoted audience. The tone remains irreverent but genuine, with moments of real community, reflection, and gratitude peeking through the boozy goofiness.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a microcosm of what Pablo Torre’s show has become: hard-hitting sports/culture journalism, self-referential media critique, oddball community-building, and hilarious deep dives into the weird corners of fandom. Even if you’re not up on every inside joke, there’s plenty of heart and entertainment here.

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Closing Note

Whether you come for the journalism, the chaos, or the surprise connections (like a surreal live call with Cletus, the "Florida Panhandle Correspondent"), you’ll leave with a sense the “Pablo Torre Finds Out” universe is as much about its listeners as its newsmakers—a found family, awkward Christmas gifts and all.

Transcript

[Pablo Torre]

Welcome to Pablo Torre finds out. I am Pablo Torre. And today we're gonna find out what this sound is.

[Katie Nolan]

Please have snow and mistletoe and presents under the tre.

[Pablo Torre]

Right after this ad.

[Katie Nolan]

Dashing through the store, Dave's looking for a gift. One you can't ignore. But not the socks he picked.

[Pablo Torre]

I know. I'm putting them back.

[Katie Nolan]

Hey, Dave, here's a tip. Put scratchers on your list.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, scratchers. Good idea.

[Katie Nolan]

It's an easy shopping trip. We're glad we could assist.

[Pablo Torre]

Thanks, random singing people.

[Katie Nolan]

So be like Dave this holiday and give the gift of play Scratchers from the California lottery. A little play can make your day.

[Pablo Torre]

Please play responsibly. Must be 18 years or older to purchase player claim.

[Verizon Ad Voice]

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[Pablo Torre]

Welcome.

[Verizon Ad Voice]

In times of congestion. Unlimited 5G and 4G. LTE may be temporarily slower than other traffic. Domestic data roaming at 2G speeds. Additional terms apply for phone offer. See verizon.com for details.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Your new home is now ready.

[Pablo Torre]

Dr. Horton, America's builder, has new homes that are ready today with new construction.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Communities in Ellensburg and throughout the Greater Seattle area. Dr. Horton has the right home for you. At Dr. Horton, we're still building with flexible living spaces, smart home technology, and.

[Pablo Torre]

Two and three car garages. More communities and more homes available every day. Find your new home in Ellensburg now ready@dr. Horton.com Dr. Horton, America's builder and equal housing opportunity builder.

[Cletus]

Hello.

[Pablo Torre]

Hello.

[Katie Nolan]

Yay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Comes out of my mouth.

[Katie Nolan]

Hi, Pablito.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Out of her mouth and under the table.

[Katie Nolan]

What are we doing? Which of these do you want me to put on? I'm down for all of them.

[Pablo Torre]

Choose the one that most.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Maybe I'll put this up because I don't want to put it. I don't want to obscure the.

[Pablo Torre]

That's like a thing to put around your neck if you so desire.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Whoa. This. This gay garland.

[Pablo Torre]

Hey, hey, y'.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

All. Y', all, don't. I know you guys don't know Christmas carols like I do.

[Katie Nolan]

You guys, the studio looks fantastic.

[Pablo Torre]

Thank you. We.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You guys spared no expense.

[Katie Nolan]

None.

[Pablo Torre]

We. We don't have a proper tree, but everything Else.

[Katie Nolan]

That's okay.

[Pablo Torre]

We're. We're in good shape.

[Katie Nolan]

We popping that or what?

[Pablo Torre]

We got. We got this.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Popping that.

[Katie Nolan]

We popping that.

[Pablo Torre]

We have champagne. Do you know to open champagne?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Know how to.

[Katie Nolan]

In a room full of this much expensive equipment? I could try.

[Pablo Torre]

In front of so many blinking lights and devices that could electrocute us immediately. You're a former bartender.

[Katie Nolan]

Yikes. Yeah. And every time I had to do this, I'm. We're not even near the step where. That's okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Everybody relax.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yep. Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

Everybody relax. Why is this. Why am I being tasked with this?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You've got this because you have the.

[Katie Nolan]

So let me talk you through our specials tonight so we don't waste any time. We've got a lovely chicken marsala that comes over pasta. You can choose between fettuccine linguine, or.

[Pablo Torre]

Where do we work?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Where's the spiel from?

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, I don't know.

[Pablo Torre]

This.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm making this up.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, okay.

[Pablo Torre]

She's degloving the champagne. Oh, there. It's happening.

[Katie Nolan]

God damn it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You got it. You got it.

[Katie Nolan]

It's close.

[Pablo Torre]

You got it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You got it.

[Pablo Torre]

Rip strength.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, God. You got it.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God. This is the biggest cork I've ever had to pull out of a bottle. Give me one sec to take a breath.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You got it. Yay, usa.

[Katie Nolan]

Ow. Handy.

[Pablo Torre]

Christmas year and Spectacular.

[Katie Nolan]

And then you sniff it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I sniff it? Why?

[Katie Nolan]

Cuz I said this.

[Pablo Torre]

How we're starting our Christmas year in Spectacular.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm doing this.

[Pablo Torre]

Here you go, Michael.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Katie, I.

[Katie Nolan]

Are you abstaining? Are you pregnant?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't like to drink. Give me a little bit. Not that. Like a. A drop of it.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You know why I don't like it? It's bad.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, it's poison.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's pl. That's more than enough. I'll be. And also, there's maybe, like, the. My genetic makeup. I will be drunk from this much. It will change my personality.

[Katie Nolan]

Are your cheeks gonna get red?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't think I flush, but I do get. I will go from animated flush.

[Pablo Torre]

I have.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I will go from animated and intelligent to completely useless.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, very good. I love it. You sure you don't want a little more?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No. Then I'll fall asleep.

[Pablo Torre]

Cheers. Thank you guys for doing this.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, thank you.

[Pablo Torre]

Sincere. Sincere. Thank you for all the free labor. Free labor.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Here's to us.

[Pablo Torre]

Here's to us. We have gifts on the table for us. You can't open them until the end.

[Katie Nolan]

If these are something about Jordan Hudson and Bill Belichick I'm going to walk out. I just let it be known and.

[Pablo Torre]

St. You forgot the last.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You forgot that was happening. You forgot the last thing.

[Katie Nolan]

What's happening here?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Jordan Hudson is underneath that.

[Pablo Torre]

So. So the ghost of Christmas of Podcast future.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

Is the ghost of Podcast yet to contemplate. That's right. A silent. I believe in the story. A silent entity that does watch over us.

[Katie Nolan]

It's gonna be Jordan. It's gonna be a fathead of Jordan.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Dude.

[Katie Nolan]

What's up, girly?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Did you.

[Katie Nolan]

Girly?

[Pablo Torre]

What's happening?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Were you able to purchase this someplace or did you have this custom made?

[Pablo Torre]

We had this made at FedEx.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wow.

[Katie Nolan]

And now she's not wearing her canceled necklace. Is that the B? Is that a B? Like a Barbie B?

[Pablo Torre]

It's the band. The band?

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, it says band. I thought it said canc. I forgot. I'm sorry, Pablo, I don't watch these things.

[Pablo Torre]

You don't know the lore yourselves.

[Katie Nolan]

I. No. I'm usually pretty high when I'm here and nothing sticks. Do you know what I'm saying now, Pablo, this is where I'm going to say I hope you got a plan for this episode, cuz this is what we're bringing.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. That's what we got.

[Katie Nolan]

This is what we have.

[Pablo Torre]

Unfortunately.

[Katie Nolan]

Nothing. Huh?

[Pablo Torre]

That's pretty much it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Sweet. Another hour of this baby.

[Pablo Torre]

Part of the reason I wanted to have both of you here is not just because I want to say thank you as my friends for doing this and trusting us. Every time you show up here not knowing what's underneath various surfaces and. Or inside of boxes and. Or behind you and.

[Katie Nolan]

Or stuck to the table.

[Pablo Torre]

Have you guys seen Elsbeth?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it yet.

[Katie Nolan]

I haven't seen it yet.

[Pablo Torre]

You have come to the right podcast taping.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes. All ELs. Beth.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes. Can you explain what Elsbeth is anyone who can do this?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay. I think it is about a woman. She's like a DOJ lawyer or something. And through a consent decree has been assigned to work with these Consent decree? Nypd. Is that. Is all of this wrong?

[Pablo Torre]

So what? I know.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wyatt Sinek explained it to me and I didn't understand.

[Katie Nolan]

Wyatt Cenac is a big Elspeth fan.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Why Snack is a huge Elspeth fan.

[Pablo Torre]

This is the right.

[Katie Nolan]

Is this a bit?

[Pablo Torre]

No. It's shocking to everybody at a thing I saw.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wyatt's an act. I started talking about. We were talking about this podcast. I told him about Elsbeth and he was like, oh, I watch Ellsbeth. And then he explained. Yeah. And I was like, if I had to think of one person, if I. If in my mind, when I draft.

[Pablo Torre]

Of the Last people on the planet, I would take Wyatt probably first.

[Katie Nolan]

Second. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Anyway, he was saying that's a woman with a consent decree who's now assigned to work with the. With the cops.

[Katie Nolan]

That's where you got the phrase consultant decree.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I didn't know. I don't know what it means, but I know that it's involved.

[Pablo Torre]

A consultant detective for the nypd. CBS prime time earlier this month. There's an episode, and the episode involves a young character whose name is Peyton Ramsey.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Ramsey.

[Pablo Torre]

Peyton Ramsey.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I should interrupt to tell you guys I think I'm drunk. Okay, Carry. I've. I've barely more than smelled this champagne.

[Pablo Torre]

She's a precocious young character who may or may not be based on someone, who may or may not be looming behind Katie Nolan. At this moment, she is being described by some podcasters.

[Katie Nolan]

What?

[Pablo Torre]

And her boyfriend happens to be an older college coach that may seem similar to certain characters we've covered on this show, even though he is a college basketball coach at a place called St. Ivan's University. Clearly, basketball is, like the last thing on this man's mind right now. You're acting like we don't know exactly who to blame.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Dude, I feel like if I mention.

[Pablo Torre]

Her name, she'll put a hex on my ding dong. She's not Voldemort, man. She might be. We're talking about the biggest story and starts right now. Don't say her name. Peyton Ramsey. I said it. Well, now she's gonna hex your ding dong.

[Verizon Ad Voice]

Good thing you never use it.

[Pablo Torre]

Hey, speaking of that, today's podcast is brought to you by Shape N Scape. Fellas, you know how bad it hurts when you're using clippers down there and you catch a bit of script?

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, she was listening to the podcast.

[Pablo Torre]

She was listening to the podcast.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wow. So the three of us have been in this rip from the headlines, mushed into two dudes.

[Katie Nolan]

Into two dudes using weird tones to talk about it.

[Pablo Torre]

Well, I should say for the audio only audience so far, a couple of revel. Peyton Ramsey. Slash. Jordan Hudson is Asian. He's played by a Vietnamese actress, Lana Condor. What a name.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What a name. Lana Condor.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Which sounds absolutely like a super villain. That's a super villain's not even an alias.

[Katie Nolan]

If I may, and this is editorializing immediately. More Stylish. Than her inspiration.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

You know, cooler. She walked in the room, I was like, oh, it's a cool lady. Now, we don't know anything about her character. But I just, you know, when Jordan walked into a room, I don't think I went like, whoa.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

I went like, well, she's got, you know. So anyway, back to this. Have you listened yet?

[Pablo Torre]

Hey, beautiful. Listen to what?

[Katie Nolan]

We can't let these guys keep talking about us like this.

[Pablo Torre]

You know my media policy, pay. Just tune it out. Focus on the fundamentals.

[Katie Nolan]

These guys have millions of followers, okay? And by the way, they're still quoting inside sources, which means that your players are still DMing them.

[Pablo Torre]

Ah, I told you that I don't know what DMing means. Anyway, listen, pay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Come on. Deep breath.

[Cletus]

Okay?

[Pablo Torre]

I will reiterate our media policy at the next team practice.

[Katie Nolan]

Thank you. Also, I had some thoughts about some of the guys with some socials, but I. I don't want to overstep. No, no, no, no.

[Pablo Torre]

I think it's a great idea. I'm sure that the guys would appreciate your advice. Thank you, babe.

[Katie Nolan]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Pablo Torre]

He's got Palpatine hands. Yo, yo.

[Katie Nolan]

Less of that would be fine by me.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Millions of followers. That's nice.

[Katie Nolan]

That is nice.

[Pablo Torre]

We're going to round up to the nearest million.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We're just going to round up to any million.

[Katie Nolan]

As the white here is it. Is it kind of up. They appropriated your Asianness for the victim.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm glad you specifically said that. I think they did this as a chess move.

[Katie Nolan]

Right. Do we ever see the podcasters? I guess is my question. I bet they're, like.

[Pablo Torre]

I was going to say bodied voices. They sound white.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wait, are we going to see. Are we going to watch more of this?

[Pablo Torre]

We are going to watch more of this because the face that Michael has pointed to here.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

This is a character, Michael, that I need you to come clean on.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay. I'm going to tell you the God's honest truth. I auditioned. I'm pretty sure. I mean, I haven't heard this character talk yet.

[Katie Nolan]

Crazy.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But I'm pretty sure I auditioned to play this character.

[Katie Nolan]

Crazy. Now, can I ask, as somebody who's never read for a part, what you mean by you think you were going to be right?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm not positive. I haven't seen this guy talk yet, so.

[Katie Nolan]

But if that's the ad, he's the ad.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I auditioned to play this role. I'm pretty sure.

[Pablo Torre]

So we need to establish some things for people who did not watch all of the episodes we've done this year.

[Katie Nolan]

And what the hell's your problem?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

First of all, who would that be?

[Katie Nolan]

What in the f. Is going on with you?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Who among. Excuse me. Who among us has not watched every episode? And listen, I. I'll do a watch and then I go back and I listen to see if there's anything that plays better on 0.5.

[Pablo Torre]

On 0.5x.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

On point. Listen, on 0.5x, you get bonus points.

[Pablo Torre]

Get retention. Bonus points if it's slower. Michael is an actor.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, well, I know that part.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No.

[Katie Nolan]

And don't do that, because he's actually a very good actor.

[Pablo Torre]

He's a peer.

[Katie Nolan]

He's an incredible actor.

[Pablo Torre]

He's.

[Katie Nolan]

Half of his face was in Severance.

[Pablo Torre]

Yep. You can forget that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Hang on. My whole face. But only for half a second.

[Katie Nolan]

And then the rest of it was just your voice, but blocked by the main character's head, which I could be. You're the main character.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I might be the star of Severance for all we know.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes.

[Katie Nolan]

I mean, we don't know. Twists are coming.

[Pablo Torre]

So he was in a cable news hit on Severance.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's right.

[Pablo Torre]

Arguing about the severance procedure.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's right. Yeah. Tell him.

[Katie Nolan]

Also, he also had a line that got cut from succession.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's right. And I believe that line was. And I don't know if we have time for the whole line, but I believe it was, hey, Captain. And that was cut.

[Katie Nolan]

Great.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So that's. That's. And you've kind of got my whole acting career kind of encapsulated in that.

[Pablo Torre]

You got a script for this audition, but you haven't seen the thing that. They wound up making the thing.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But, I mean, when I got it, I was immediately like, oh, my God.

[Katie Nolan]

Watched everything. That didn't. That was a party. Didn't get. He'd be busy all day.

[Pablo Torre]

You know what I'm saying?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What the f, dude? What the. Why am I high fiving?

[Katie Nolan]

I don't know. I don't know, but thanks.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I got the script and immediately I was like, oh, this is like vaguely about me.

[Pablo Torre]

Very vaguely, I was going to say.

[Katie Nolan]

So is this play about us?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, totally. So I haven't seen that show, but.

[Pablo Torre]

You haven't?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No.

[Katie Nolan]

Did you audition?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, damn.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I was supposed to be the. Is it. Am I saying right? Zendaya, it's perfect. That was my part.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

I would like you to turn to your cellular telephone.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Who?

[Katie Nolan]

Just him.

[Pablo Torre]

Just Michael.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

Because we have texted you an opportunity okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

These, I believe now, are these lines actually in the show?

[Pablo Torre]

Well, I need you to deliver them for our audience and for us, please.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

And then we can see.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

How did you get. How did you get this?

[Katie Nolan]

Well, don't worry about that.

[Pablo Torre]

That is that question. What I do professionally. Right?

[Katie Nolan]

He finds out.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I just want to be clear that I did not send you this script.

[Pablo Torre]

Correct.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So you got to do your own thing.

[Pablo Torre]

You clearly just got texted.

[Katie Nolan]

Smart. That is smart. You could have put him in a pretty bad spot.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I didn't send it to you.

[Katie Nolan]

Look at us, dude.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Somebody did.

[Katie Nolan]

Excuse me.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You want me to read these lines?

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, you're. You're auditioning for the role of. Of Dave, who is the general manager of GM St. Ivan's University.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, here we go. You have turned a legend into a sad, pathetic loser. Posing for selfies, doing sandwich commercials. You have single handedly destroyed a great man's legacy. The best thing you could do is lose his number. But I can't make you do that. So I'm doing the only thing I can do, banning you from the premises.

[Katie Nolan]

It is about us.

[Pablo Torre]

Just like the necklace.

[Katie Nolan]

The play is about us, just like the necklace. Throw more stuff.

[Pablo Torre]

You crushed that. That was good.

[Katie Nolan]

I would have given you the part. I don't know what the.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Let's see. I would want another take. It didn't feel great.

[Pablo Torre]

Here's what it looked like on cbs. You turned a legend into a sad, pathetic loser posing for selfies, doing sandwich commercials.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You single handedly destroyed a great man's legacy.

[Pablo Torre]

The best thing you could do would.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Be to lose his number.

[Pablo Torre]

But I can't make you do that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So I'm doing the one thing I can do.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm banning you from the premises now.

[Katie Nolan]

He's doing a lot.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

He did it different. He did it different. And I love it. I love it.

[Pablo Torre]

That character who is inspired by Mike Lombardi, another character we have reported on, on this show, the person.

[Katie Nolan]

Thank you for doing that. Have I told you that in person yet?

[Pablo Torre]

You haven't.

[Katie Nolan]

Thank you for that episode because there's.

[Pablo Torre]

A lot in that episode. Yeah, he is, as that episode revealed, the person who communicated to others that Jordan Hudson was banned. And so when Michael Cruz can auditions for the role of Mike Lombardi.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, that's.

[Pablo Torre]

After participating in the episode in which we report such things in this ongoing saga, it is also worth pointing out maybe that that character. I'm just making sure that this is correct. Spoiler alert. Dies.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, you die.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't. I mean, I didn't I didn't. I only. I think I only got one scene.

[Pablo Torre]

So the Belichick character kills the Lombardi character.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God. That's so much better than what's happening in real life. That's like so such a juicier.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It makes for a better episode of Elsbeth.

[Pablo Torre]

The sequel to all of this, of course, is that in real life. Last month, Jordan Hudson said a couple things to us, engaging with us.

[Katie Nolan]

It's you mostly. It's really just you. It's kind of like the, the positive and negative of this is like I'm in these clips. I'm not really getting anything from like, there's nobody's coming for me.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We're mostly here to be like, oh, wow.

[Pablo Torre]

Holy.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, you don't say.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You specifically are responsible for some crazy now.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, we. Yes, we. As a show, as a show, as a family. We were named to the Apple podcast top 10 list.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That was.

[Pablo Torre]

We were.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

My bad. We were on for that.

[Katie Nolan]

That was.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We.

[Pablo Torre]

That was. We. Absolutely. And Jordan Hudson on November 19 at 8:45am said, quote, you're welcome, period. I mean, and we thank her for.

[Katie Nolan]

It and thank you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

She's not, she's not 100% wrong.

[Katie Nolan]

She's right, right, right.

[Pablo Torre]

She fractionally, absolutely helped. Yeah. Jordan Hudson went on Instagram on November 23 and posted a photo of her wearing the band necklace. And the caption is just one of the great uses of Instagram ever.

[Katie Nolan]

P S. I'm suing you. Hard hands.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah. P.S. i'm suing you at P.S. dari. Hard hands.

[Katie Nolan]

Hard hands.

[Pablo Torre]

I checked with University of North Carolina and they said that they are not involved with any of her litigation.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, you're doing real.

[Pablo Torre]

I just got to say that.

[Katie Nolan]

Did she sue you?

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, yeah, no, no.

[Katie Nolan]

She didn't sue you.

[Pablo Torre]

I haven't gotten a letter or anything.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Maybe it's a new year thing. Maybe it's something for 20.

[Katie Nolan]

I know I've been backed up trying to get presents and trying to pre tape for the.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Exactly.

[Katie Nolan]

So she might be. It might be coming in Q1.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm like, I mean, to sue people. But then I'm like, I'm scrolling and scrolling.

[Katie Nolan]

It's the scrolling.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm way behind on lawsuits.

[Katie Nolan]

The number of people I'm coming from.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

For you next year, probably everyone I've threatened. It is happening.

[Katie Nolan]

It's coming.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And I say to that heart hands.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm going to sue you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And a happy Christmas, I'mma sue you. I'mma sue you.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm going to sue you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm out of water. You know what that means?

[Katie Nolan]

He's drunk.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Your boy's getting wrecked.

[Pablo Torre]

Shopping for a car should be exciting and not exhausting. But between misleading prices, hidden fees and bad pictures, it almost feels like the system is designed to make you second guess yourself. Luckily, that's where Cargurus comes in. They rank the best deals, verify dealers, and make sure you never pay more than you should. Your big deal just became a great deal. Cargurus will connect you with trusted dealerships when you're ready, ensuring a transparent and hassle free buying process. And with over 4 million listings, CarGurus has more car listings than any other major online automotive marketplace in the United States. So you can find the best deal. It's no wonder that similar web estimated traffic data shows Cargurus is the number one most visited shopping site. So buy your Sell your next car today with [e-mail] Go to CarGurus.com to make sure your big deal is the best deal. That's C A r g u r us.com cargurus.com.

[Verizon Ad Voice]

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[Katie Nolan]

Dashing through the store, Dave's looking for a gift. One you can't ignore. But not the socks he picked.

[Pablo Torre]

I know, I'm putting them back.

[Katie Nolan]

Hey Dave, here's a tip. Put scratchers on your list.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, scratchers. Good idea.

[Katie Nolan]

It's an easy shopping trip. We're glad we could assist.

[Pablo Torre]

Thanks random singing people.

[Katie Nolan]

So be like Dave this holiday and give the gift of play scratchers from the California Lottery. A little play can make your day.

[Pablo Torre]

Please play responsibly. Must be 18 years or older to purchase player claim. Well, we do have a thing that I want to. I want to promote because I do want people to know. I don't want people to know.

[Katie Nolan]

Wait, why is this happening? Because this was brought up before. They're like, we're actually going to promote your podcast this Time now you're spoiling it. Sorry.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Rewind.

[Katie Nolan]

Go back and do it again. I won't say anything.

[Pablo Torre]

Kate.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Kate. That's what we call her.

[Pablo Torre]

Kate Katie Nolan is on SiriusXM. She is the person that you listen to before Stephen A. Smith.

[Katie Nolan]

That's so true.

[Pablo Torre]

Which is a fact that I am so delighted by every time I think about it. Mad Dog Sports Radio. Yeah. The show is called Fan Service. You do I think what you are meant on this earth to do.

[Katie Nolan]

Hell yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Which is field questions from almost always dudes.

[Katie Nolan]

No, no, no. We have a lot of women that call. We have a lot of women.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's actually up, dude.

[Katie Nolan]

We have a lot of women. I also think it's mostly sports radio. Not doing a ton to outreach to women and make them feel comfortable calling Katie.

[Pablo Torre]

She's changing the demographics around who calls in is what I dare say.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I could just open the phone lines and make it like a hotline.

[Pablo Torre]

It's really good.

[Katie Nolan]

It's legitimate. The goal is for it to be a hotline. People can call me and ask about any sport. There are sometimes where I go like.

[Pablo Torre]

Yo, what's the number?

[Katie Nolan]

They can call 888 Mad Dog 6 from noon to 1 Eastern, Monday through Friday.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm doing this.

[Katie Nolan]

I just. There's.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

There's days sometimes do this in 2026.

[Katie Nolan]

Sometimes they'll call about like rugby and I'm like, well, let me Google this.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't know.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't. Not an expert in.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

When they call about rugby, they're asking. They're trying to get a take from you on the rugby.

[Katie Nolan]

Sometimes. Sometimes people will ask very specific takes. And I'm like, I don't have a take on this. I'm very honest. If I don't know the answer. I don't know the answer. But like, you know, an hour is kind of difficult to do. I'm not here monologuing every day about sports. So I'll give you my takes if I have some. But then I just open up the phone lines and basically just talk to people.

[Pablo Torre]

It's a perfect vehicle for everything. It really is.

[Katie Nolan]

Thanks. Why is this happening? Is this a your gift to me?

[Pablo Torre]

No. In lieu of payments on the table. No. There's a gift on the table. That is your gift. This is not your gift. This is an excuse to segue to the fact that we also have a voicemail hotline line. Oh, 51385, Pablo. People call it.

[Katie Nolan]

We haven't minor live phone calls, but this is kind of the Same thing. Keep going.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's the same.

[Pablo Torre]

This is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This is better in some ways.

[Katie Nolan]

I just want to be clear.

[Pablo Torre]

Minor live river dancing on the bits.

[Katie Nolan]

Today someone said dildo on air, and we didn't know what to do. We dumped it.

[Pablo Torre]

Is that the policy?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You dumped it?

[Katie Nolan]

As soon as he was like. Or a rubber dildo, it was like, bloop hung up, and there was nothing. I just had to go. Well, that'll sit there.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Is there a. There's no delay.

[Pablo Torre]

There is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And.

[Katie Nolan]

But it's serious, so you can curse.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Well, it's comedy, too.

[Katie Nolan]

It's. Yeah, but it's that. It's. You know. Mad Dog runs the station, so he likes.

[Pablo Torre]

Mad Dog is a very anti dildo family friend.

[Katie Nolan]

He's very anti dildo.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Don't.

[Katie Nolan]

Yours are voicemails, which are different.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I can't keep it together, guys. I'm drunk.

[Katie Nolan]

I know. Me too.

[Pablo Torre]

We've received almost. Oh, no. Exactly 499 voicemails this year. Can we go through them?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It'd be funny if you said almost 499.

[Pablo Torre]

Some of them, by the way, they. They're very kind, and we appreciate them. For instance, this one.

[Cletus]

Hey, Pablo Torre.

[Pablo Torre]

This is Tony P. The military members called several times. I just wanted to call again to give you guys flowers. I continue to be most both educated and inspired by the work that you and the team is doing there, especially this last episode with the Trans Center. My child is trans, and this one.

[Cletus]

Touched home a lot.

[Pablo Torre]

So thank you for doing this story. Anyways, appreciate what you guys do. Love all the things you guys do. And Nick Wright.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God. Okay, so that guy.

[Pablo Torre]

That guy. That guy's okay. It's just a heartfelt message. Other voicemails are from people that you may have heard of if you pay attention to sports.

[Katie Nolan]

If we're gonna get to Jordan. Giving up voicemail.

[Pablo Torre]

Hey, Pablo, this is Tim Donaghy. Was wondering if you had a couple minutes to speak to me. My number's 9 6. Thank you. It does appear to be the real Tim Donaghy, the disgraced NBA referee at the center of one of the largest scandals in sports history, calling your voicemail. I do owe him a callback.

[Katie Nolan]

You should call him.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You bet you do.

[Katie Nolan]

It's okay. It's not a tip line, guys.

[Pablo Torre]

No, it is. It is a tip line. But also, you can submit questions, and we get questions from regulars at this point. For instance, there's a guy, and I just want to make this clear. We did not invent this character. He's a real guy. His name is Cletus. He is from Navarre.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh.

[Pablo Torre]

What?

[Katie Nolan]

I was gonna say the fox football robot is named Cletus.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I just realized that it's like Cletus.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

You're welcome.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Back to you. And we're back to Pablo with sports Cletus the.

[Pablo Torre]

The human and not the giant robot. Superimposed giant fox robot.

[Katie Nolan]

Chill out.

[Pablo Torre]

This one is from Navarre, Florida.

[Cletus]

Hey, Pablo Cletus in Navarre, Florida. I got a question. Maybe you can find out all these body spray commercials on the tv. I was just wondering, when did women start stinking? Maybe you can find that out. Conspiracy.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Did I understand the question?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

I think Cletus has a really good perspective we should consider.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

He's saying if you listen to it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Which we have did.

[Pablo Torre]

Cletus is. Play it again.

[Cletus]

All these body spray commercials on the tv. I was just wondering, when did women start stinking? Maybe you can find that out.

[Pablo Torre]

It's a conspiracy.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, we heard it. When did women start to stink? And maybe you can find that out.

[Pablo Torre]

I think he's saying, when did this problem emerge? Because he has not experienced the issue.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Cleat is asking kind of an enlightened question.

[Pablo Torre]

I think Cletus is super woke. Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

I think Cletus is like, ladies, you smell just fine to me. Go ahead and sit on my face without any insecurity.

[Pablo Torre]

Why is society telling all of you ladies that we stink? Stink now.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, it's fair.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But everybody's been stink. Just in case. The question is just. Just the question. We've all been stinking forever.

[Katie Nolan]

We've all been stinking forever.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Am I shouting?

[Katie Nolan]

No.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

No.

[Pablo Torre]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

No.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm wasted.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. That is. We have more.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'd like to hear more from Cletus.

[Pablo Torre]

Hold on.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'd like to get Cletus on the line, please.

[Katie Nolan]

Call him up.

[Pablo Torre]

All right, hold on. Let's see if we can do that.

[Katie Nolan]

Wait, what? That's all you have? I'd like a million dollars, please.

[Pablo Torre]

Area code 334. That's the one.

[Katie Nolan]

He's calling Cletus. I don't.

[Pablo Torre]

Hold on.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You didn't have to really call. I was just talking.

[Katie Nolan]

We're doing this for.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What are we gonna do when we get him?

[Katie Nolan]

Pablo's gonna take it.

[Pablo Torre]

If he doesn't answer, we're gonna leave a voicemail.

[Katie Nolan]

At the tone, please record your message. When you've finished recording, simply hang up or press pound for further options.

[Pablo Torre]

Hey, Cletus, it's Pablo from Pablo Torre. Finds out. Cletus, thank you so much for calling us so many times this year. You've called us so many. Eight times. You asked us about lots of things. You asked us about what happened to Tom Hanks and Cast Away. I don't have the answer for that.

[Katie Nolan]

He got stuck on an island.

[Pablo Torre]

Okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Got out.

[Pablo Torre]

Katie Nolan has an answer for when did women start to stink?

[Katie Nolan]

I don't. No, I don't. I don't know the answer, but I just wanted to say I love your work as a robot in football.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This is not a podcast for one guy.

[Katie Nolan]

I know.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This is a podcast for Cletus. This is the Cletus episode now.

[Katie Nolan]

We love you, Cletus.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We love you, Cletus.

[Katie Nolan]

Happy holidays. Happy New Year.

[Pablo Torre]

Merry Christmas, Cletus.

[Katie Nolan]

The Year of The Fire Dragon 2026.

[Pablo Torre]

What is it? What? That's what I heard and sent.

[Katie Nolan]

Nice. Okay, well, that sucked.

[Pablo Torre]

Maybe they'll call us back. We have another voicemail, I am told.

[Katie Nolan]

Nice.

[Pablo Torre]

A 500th voicemail to our detective agency hotline, 51385. Pablo. Hey, Pablo, it's Andrew Streeter.

[Andrew Streeter]

I just wanted to send a little.

[Pablo Torre]

Christmas cheer your way with a new little ditty just for you. Hope you enjoy it. Happy holidays, pal. Pablo Torre just dropped a nuke. This is an explosive report from Pablo Torre.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Pablo Torre, who is sports Batman. Pablo Torre is the 50 cent of journalism.

[Pablo Torre]

Pablo Torre is like a different type of animal.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And I hope that boy Pablo Torre got some good security because he getting too close to opening Pandora's box, bro.

[Pablo Torre]

I am Pablo Torre and today we're gonna find out what this sound is.

[Andrew Streeter]

Share and tell. Kawhi's not planting trees, but watching and athlete branded weed. Riley Gaines is grifting hard.

[Katie Nolan]

Belichick's heart, like smelling salts and gooning.

[Andrew Streeter]

Are the things we're finding out with Pablo Torre.

[Verizon Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Andrew Streeter]

Find out with Pap.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The greatest sports journalist in the world. That was exhilarating.

[Katie Nolan]

It was good. Was that Jeremy that did that song? Who did that song? Who made that song for you?

[Pablo Torre]

That is Andrew Streeter.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh.

[Pablo Torre]

Who is. Who is a prolific songmaker. He's made songs for Dan's show. I like that you directionally sneezed into my cup.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't think that this episode has started, so I'm. I'm getting a little concerned.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We're almost ready. We're warming up. Okay. Starting the episode in three.

[Pablo Torre]

So one thing that I do want to explain from the song that we played is that I have been called by Fred Toucher the 50 Cent of journalism.

[Katie Nolan]

I know that voice. That's Boston Sports Radio.

[Pablo Torre]

Hold on. I'm being told we have one more voicemail. Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So, Pablo Tori is the 50 cent of journalism.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, no.

[Pablo Torre]

Pablo.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

New York City. Anything you need for me, baby, you gotta love it. Oh, we're all here for you. We got your back.

[Pablo Torre]

You reach out. So here's the thing.

[Andrew Streeter]

Are you smarter than an NFL qb? What do you know about the world of bird watching? Colognes and perfumes by celebrities? Or Bill Belichick's Airbnb? Girl, you might as well tell me now. As B. Tory finds out, no doubt you can't hide the truth from me. Girl, you might as well tell me now. Tori finds out, no doubt you can't hide the truth from me. Is Giannis missing free throws for free chicken? It's our next president. And alien and Russell Wilson.

[Pablo Torre]

Pause it. Cletus is calling. Wow. I'm so sorry, Andrew Streeter. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The episode is so loose.

[Pablo Torre]

Hey, Cletus, can you. Can you hear me?

[Cletus]

Is this Pablo Torres?

[Pablo Torre]

Yes.

[Cletus]

Cletus.

[Pablo Torre]

Cletus, you're here with me and Katie Nolan, Michael Cruz Kane. We're taping our year end Christmas spectacular.

[Cletus]

Oh, wow.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, wow, he says.

[Pablo Torre]

What are you doing right now?

[Cletus]

I'm just driving around on the panhandle of Florida, man, slinging grease.

[Pablo Torre]

Hell yeah, slinging grease. Can you explain a little bit more what that. What that means? Because I'm from New York City and I've never slung a single grease intentionally.

[Cletus]

Well, I work for a company where we recycle use cooking oil from restaurants, hotels, whatever. I'm big into recycling, and so I go around and I give away free containers to restaurants and we take all their oil instead of it going into a landfill and we make it into diesel fuel. That's even worse for the environment. Pablo, you have no idea. Like, it's my birthday today.

[Katie Nolan]

What? Cletus, Cletus.

[Pablo Torre]

Cletus, Cletus.

[Cletus]

One time I said I sent you a message, Papa. So my daughter is married to her high school sweetheart. He's Filipino.

[Katie Nolan]

What?

[Cletus]

Cletus and I tried to get you to. Well, I. I was gonna try to get you to officiate their wedding after you did Dan Levitar.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, yeah, My daughter shut that down.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, man, so funny.

[Cletus]

Yeah, I was like, she said, who? Because we had a Filipino spread. Filipino food is my favorite food now.

[Katie Nolan]

Hell yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Cletus, hold on, hold on. No, no, no, no. You should. You should know I am only interrupting you to Know that Filipino food like you professionally loves to sling grease.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Absolutely.

[Pablo Torre]

I know Lechon.

[Cletus]

I mean, I'm a fanboy. Dude, y' all called the worst person if you didn't want adulation, because I am like Katie Nolan. I wish I was there that night with y' all smoking bowls, man.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God. Hell, yeah.

[Cletus]

I mean, I love New York. That's my town. Because when I go up there, everybody hears my accent, and they want to sell me bridges and stuff. Like, they want to lead me down dark alleys and sell me fake Versace.

[Pablo Torre]

Stuff, fake leather jackets out of the.

[Katie Nolan]

Trunk of their car.

[Pablo Torre]

Out of the trunk of cars.

[Cletus]

I'm. I'm real big on Canal Street. I ain't gonna lie to you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nice.

[Katie Nolan]

Hell, yeah. Cletus.

[Pablo Torre]

Cletus, I will. I. I presume your daughter's already been married, but if you ever have another wedding for me to officiate, I will use the powers vested in me by the Universal Life Church to absolutely do that.

[Cletus]

Oh, my God. Well, my other daughter, she's. She's engaged to a white boy.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

He's.

[Katie Nolan]

I know. He's so.

[Cletus]

His name is Sterling.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God.

[Pablo Torre]

Whoa.

[Cletus]

He doesn't, like. He doesn't like legumes, so.

[Katie Nolan]

He doesn't like legumes.

[Cletus]

It's kind of a breaking point with me, too, because being Southern, I was poor growing up, and every day we came home to a pot of beans and some cheap meat. So that's like comfort food to me. And I'm like, dude, if you ask for my daughter's hand in marriage, I'm gonna make you eat some beans.

[Katie Nolan]

Legumes. Okay, okay. That's what I made them. I thought he said legumes. Legumes. I get it now. Beans, beans, beans, beans.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Cletus]

Yeah, Katie. So I'm a big feminist. I know that sounds weird. Someone. A man that talks like I did, being in the south. But I did raise two daughters that are very important to me and my family. And anyway, I've noticed on the TV in the last year that they don't talk about men stinking, but women all of a sudden stink. I don't know no women that stinking. So I'm offended. I'm offended by it. Like, you know, it's just. It's like, why? I mean, because I know a whole lot more dudes that smell same.

[Pablo Torre]

You know what?

[Katie Nolan]

You know what I'm realizing?

[Pablo Torre]

You know what I'm finding out here? Cletus does sling grease.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

But he himself is also pretty slick.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wow.

[Pablo Torre]

Really?

[Katie Nolan]

Good.

[Cletus]

Pablo, if any of y' all ever get to the Florida Panhandle, please keep myself. I live on. I live on the bar beach, man. We'll have a good damn time.

[Katie Nolan]

Hell, yeah.

[Cletus]

And I'm not. I'm not a weirdo. I got a wife and 30 years, and, like, y' all don't have to stay with me. But if y' all ever get down here, let me cook you some lunch or.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Cletus.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes, we're getting beans with Cletus.

[Pablo Torre]

100.

[Katie Nolan]

Cletus, I'll eat beans with you all day.

[Cletus]

We got a Filipino restaurant down here.

[Pablo Torre]

What?

[Cletus]

Pablo, you gotta try.

[Pablo Torre]

All right, we're heading it up at the risk. At the risk of booking a flight within the next hour in 2026. Cletus, I have a feeling that you and I will talk again.

[Cletus]

I hope so. And I'll tell you, I can really hear you smile through when you talk. I can tell you're a happy person. You're always smiling when you're talking.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's why.

[Cletus]

That's why you're gonna win that Peabody Award one day.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, someday. Pablo, you know what? We love you.

[Pablo Torre]

Pretty much the highlight of the entire day is us talking to you, Cletus. Welcome to the larger Filipino family.

[Cletus]

Oh, I got Pinoy pride, man.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, dude.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God.

[Pablo Torre]

Cletus, we. We really appreciate you calling us back. This is almost. Almost more than we could ever have dreamed.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Drive safely.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Drive safe.

[Cletus]

You made my day. I mean, you. I don't know how many days y' all make, but I'm about to cry. You made my day.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, Cletus, you're gonna make us cry, man. Cletus, I cannot thank you enough. I want to inform you that I've officially now, in the last minute, deputized you as our Florida Panhandle correspondent, which is much like the jobs that Michael and Katie have.

[Katie Nolan]

Unpaid.

[Pablo Torre]

Entirely unpaid.

[Katie Nolan]

Unpaid work.

[Pablo Torre]

Work, as they say in our culture. Salamat. Oh.

[Katie Nolan]

Bye, Cletus.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Bye, Cletus.

[Pablo Torre]

Bye, Cletus. Happy birthday.

[Katie Nolan]

Happy birthday. Now, Pablo, if I could give you a note. You're bad at getting off.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, we were on too long with Cletus. The guys had to be in your ear.

[Katie Nolan]

This would not be for you because you have that. We be the.

[Pablo Torre]

The hour.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I love Cletus.

[Pablo Torre]

He kept on paying the compliments.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Perfect. You just in any way on Cletus?

[Pablo Torre]

It's totally on you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You got to get off.

[Pablo Torre]

They actually had more to say, but they got off.

[Katie Nolan]

They said he. We said goodbye. Like we gave you like six.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You. You were going to have. You were going to pass the phone around that door open. You would have passed it to everybody in there.

[Pablo Torre]

I think I'm going to call him back again, though.

[Katie Nolan]

No, please.

[Pablo Torre]

No, please.

[Katie Nolan]

At least he has your personal phone number now.

[Verizon Ad Voice]

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[Katie Nolan]

Dashing through the store, Dave's looking for a gift. One you can't ignore. But not the socks he picked.

[Pablo Torre]

I know. I'm putting them back.

[Katie Nolan]

Hey, Dave, here's a tip. Put scratchers on your list.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, scratchers. Good idea.

[Katie Nolan]

It's an easy shopping trip. We're glad we could assist.

[Pablo Torre]

Thanks, random singing people.

[Katie Nolan]

So be like Davis Holiday and give the gift of play Scratchers from the California Lottery. A little play can make your day.

[Pablo Torre]

Please play responsibly. Must be 18 years or older to purchase play or claim when the flu is keeping you up at night. Don't try to tough it out. Knock out your flu symptoms with NYQUIL Intense Flu. You got this. It provides powerful relief of your flu symptoms so you can sleep well through the night. Nyquil Intense Flu. The nighttime sniffling, aching, aching fever. Best sleep with a flu medicine. Use as directed. Keep out of reach of children.

[Katie Nolan]

Hey, it's John Chase and Mari Uehara.

[Pablo Torre]

From Wirecutter, the product recommendation service from.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The New York Times. Mari, it is gift giving time and.

[Katie Nolan]

We have so many great lists this year.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What's an easy gift for someone like.

[Katie Nolan]

Under 50 bucks in our gifts under 50 list? I really like, love this watercolor set from Japan. These beautiful, beautiful colors. It's something that kids can do, adults can do.

[Pablo Torre]

I love that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What's like something fun that my dad.

[Pablo Torre]

Is going to enjoy?

[Katie Nolan]

We have these custom Funko Pops on our gifts for dads list. You can custom make a little bobblehead toy in the likeness of your dad. They're totally unserious. They're just silly and fun and people really love them.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This is so hysterical. I had never seen these before.

[Pablo Torre]

They're amazing.

[Katie Nolan]

I have to admit, I sort of want one myself.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Check out all of Wirecutter's gift recommendations for yourself and everyone [e-mail] holidayguide Wait.

[Katie Nolan]

We still have to talk about the butter warmer.

[Pablo Torre]

There wasn't a tree on the table, which was embarrassing for us. Right. What you should know, though, is that when we did our first Aspiration Clippers investigation, it ended with a scene in which we planted a tree. The story of this, if you. If you did not watch that episode, you really.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

I didn't.

[Katie Nolan]

I thought I did.

[Pablo Torre]

So the big crescendo of the episode was in reference to the fact that Robert Downey Jr. Was an aspiration endorser. That being, of course, the guy who played Iron man in, you know, the Marvel movies. We decided to do the thing that Kawhi Leonard and the Clippers did not do, which was actually plant a tree. Kawhi Leonard, a fellow endorser of Aspiration who had a no show job. Blah, blah, blah, blah. NBA investigation. So we. We planted a real tree in front of the Intuit Dome. That is Iron man watering it. And the bad news is that someone ripped the tree out of the ground.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

My goodness.

[Pablo Torre]

What?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

My goodness gracious.

[Katie Nolan]

Who does that? I thought you were gonna show us evidence of that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Whomst among us, Jordan?

[Katie Nolan]

The tree is gone, but the fire remains.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The fire remains. That famous saying. The tree is gone, but the fire remains.

[Pablo Torre]

Also, we. We found a replacement.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God. Who are you paying to be Iron Man?

[Pablo Torre]

So Iron man is a confidential source.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Robert Downey iii.

[Pablo Torre]

Robert Yanni iii. Outside the Intuit Dome this week, planting in the empty grave of our old tree.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, wow.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

They tried to bury us, but they did not know that we were seeds.

[Katie Nolan]

Do they need to be watered like that?

[Pablo Torre]

We're not quite sure.

[Katie Nolan]

Right.

[Pablo Torre]

But it's now, you know, it's la.

[Katie Nolan]

Deciduous.

[Pablo Torre]

It's la.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You would think Iron man would have something in the suit that would do the water.

[Katie Nolan]

He's gonna put lights on it.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes. So, you know, for carbon footprint reasons, we're not going to plug these in, but there are lights to begin to decorate them. I want everybody to know that we encourage you here to go and decorate.

[Katie Nolan]

The tree at the Intuit Dome.

[Pablo Torre]

At the Intuit Dome. We're going to provide the GPS coordinates. It is 33. What is that punctuation mark?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Degrees.

[Katie Nolan]

Degrees.

[Pablo Torre]

33. Degrees 56. Apostrophe, 36.5. Quotation mark. North.

[Katie Nolan]

Perfect.

[Pablo Torre]

118°20, apostrophe 38.7, quotation mark W for west.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Perfect.

[Pablo Torre]

So we encourage you to go and do that.

[Katie Nolan]

We think first podcast to ever read out loud the GPS coordinates.

[Pablo Torre]

Michael, we'd like you to open your gift first.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Which one's mine?

[Pablo Torre]

It's the one on the top.

[Katie Nolan]

The little one.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

With the same ribbon that I believe was used for when we unboxed the Jordan.

[Pablo Torre]

That's just a total.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

Could you describe what your.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The mixed race guy gets a much smaller gift.

[Katie Nolan]

It's small. Oh my God. What the is that?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This is a hamburger. Oh my God. This is a hamburger. Has been sitting in this. What time did I get here? How much?

[Pablo Torre]

Honestly, we've been taping for probably a little too long for this to totally be paid off with you eating it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But I can't believe how much it smells like a hamburger in here. Same can you didn't smell like one.

[Katie Nolan]

Can you rotate it so I can guess who made it before you eat it?

[Pablo Torre]

Can you open.

[Katie Nolan]

Can you pop it open maybe?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm not. I'm not doing it.

[Katie Nolan]

It's not Shake Shack.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You can do it if you want.

[Katie Nolan]

It's totally edible.

[Pablo Torre]

I mean, we just got it.

[Katie Nolan]

We just got it. That is a.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It has a. It has. The density of the burger is. You would. It defies all logic if you held this. You'd be like, it's crazy how heavy it is.

[Katie Nolan]

Are you gonna eat it? Because then you know. Okay, I don't have to slap it in my hand.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But doesn't it feel like you're holding a. An obelisk?

[Pablo Torre]

Let me see.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

A space rock.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh my God.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You think it's a nude Shake Shack burger?

[Pablo Torre]

Now we've gone too far. This. This is the line.

[Katie Nolan]

It's crazy. That old gum freaked you out. And a wrapped up old ass burger.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That we handled around the table.

[Katie Nolan]

That's an onion on your thigh.

[Pablo Torre]

This is like relatively new.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

From whence?

[Pablo Torre]

No, I'm just saying it's actually good. Katie, it's time for you to open your gift.

[Katie Nolan]

Woo hoo. Kimmy, Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. Whoa, heavy.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Give me, give me.

[Katie Nolan]

Is this gonna be an omnicord? Cause that's what it feels like. That's exactly what it feels like. Is this actually just for you to have and I'm just gonna. What? The mine costs so much more than yours, which is crazy. Yours was a burger and Pablo's eating it. Mine is an omnicord.

[Pablo Torre]

The optics of eating Michael's gift are not great.

[Katie Nolan]

It's not good.

[Pablo Torre]

There is onion now on the microp.

[Cletus]

Ew.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wait, you have to burn that microphone.

[Katie Nolan]

This has to be for you, Pablo. And I'm just holding it as a show. And then when the show, there's a strap.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wait, you bought her an omnicord? It's like a thousand million dollars.

[Katie Nolan]

It's crazy. Why would you do that? I mean, you do owe me. I was gonna say, if I had an option, I think I would have taken the cash.

[Pablo Torre]

The bad news is you can't take the cash. The good news is there is a stunningly vibrant Omnicord secondary resale market.

[Katie Nolan]

Hell yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

But until then.

[Katie Nolan]

This is so nice.

[Pablo Torre]

Until then.

[Katie Nolan]

Who actually bought it? Who actually did it?

[Pablo Torre]

Unfortunately, it was you, Keith Olbermann.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's somebody.

[Katie Nolan]

Jesus Christ.

[Pablo Torre]

We have reached the end of the show and there's only one way to end our year. It's with me holding a burger and Katie Nolan holding her omnicord. Fix you and Michael Cruz. Kane also holding his Omnichord. Michael, where's your Omnichord?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I brought my. At Pablo's request, I bought. I brought my Omnichord.

[Pablo Torre]

Let's. Oh, good. Soundtrack for the unzipping of Michael's Omnichord.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And then if you want to make your thing stop making sound, you got it.

[Katie Nolan]

That's the button I always remember.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And then. And then just in here, you know when. When you're in the chord.

[Katie Nolan]

Great. And then we're saying M is what? What are we saying is stop.

[Cletus]

Em.

[Katie Nolan]

With a star is what? What's the star?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't know what the star is, honestly.

[Katie Nolan]

Be home.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Maybe it's diminished, but we don't have that here. So.

[Pablo Torre]

Home for Christmas.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, you got it.

[Katie Nolan]

You can count on me.

[Pablo Torre]

Guys are sound. Oh, this is.

[Katie Nolan]

Please have snow and mistletoe and presence under the tree. Christmas Eve will find me.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You got it, dude.

[Pablo Torre]

Where the love light gleam?

[Katie Nolan]

I'll be home for Christmas. Who is it?

[Pablo Torre]

Wrong.

[Katie Nolan]

My dream. What the. Whose omnicord is this?

[Pablo Torre]

This has been Pablo Torre Finds out a Meadowlark Media production and I'll talk to you next time.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So Pablo Torre is the 50 cent of journalism. Pablo, anything you need from me, baby, we're all here for you. We got your back.

[Pablo Torre]

You reach out. So here's the thing.

[Andrew Streeter]

Are you smarter than an NFL qb? What do you know about the world of bird watching? Colognes and perfumes by celebrities? Or Bill Belichick's Airbnb Girl, you might as well tell me now as Babotori finds out no doubt you can't hide the truth from me Girl, you might as well tell me now as Pablo Torre finds out no doubt you can't hide the truth from me Is Giannis missing free throws for free chicken? Is our next president an alien named Russell Wilson? Why does the FBI director play so much hockey? Was Malik Beasley getting gambling before Milwaukee? Wanna hear about the NFLPA salaries in the WNBA? The Knicks failed LeBron recruitment tape? Did you know that TRL was fake? Girl, you might as well tell me now as Pablo Torre finds out no doubt you can't hide the truth from me Girl, you might as well tell me now as Pablo Torre finds out no doubt you can't hide the truth.

[Pablo Torre]

Anything you need from me, baby?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Pablo Torre, the greatest sports journalist in the world.

[Katie Nolan]

Dashing through the store. Dave's looking for a gift. One you can't ignore. But not the socks he picked.

[Pablo Torre]

I know, I'm putting them back.

[Katie Nolan]

Hey, Dave, here's a tip. Put scratchers on your list.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, scratchers. Good idea.

[Katie Nolan]

It's an easy shopping trip. We're glad we could assist.

[Pablo Torre]

Thanks, random singing people.

[Katie Nolan]

So be like David's holiday and give the gift of play Scratchers from the California Lottery. A little play can make your day.

[Pablo Torre]

Please play responsibly. Must be 18 years or older to purchase player claim.

[Cletus]

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts.

[Pablo Torre]

Here's a show that we recommend. The world of commercial real estate is changing and fast. Welcome to in the Loop. We're diving into the topics that hit the hardest. We'll explore what's happening today.

[Katie Nolan]

The benefits of biophilia in the workplace can be decreased stress and irritability.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Tomorrow, how can you bring components of the 15 minute city of the urban grid of things people like the gathering places and beyond.

[Katie Nolan]

When you start thinking about the future and start thinking about these things, things are coming in 2030 or 2040 or 2050. Then you can go. Okay, now how do I actually take actions today to make that happen?

[Pablo Torre]

Subscribe to in the Loop wherever you get your podcast. ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.