Share & F*ck Around & Tell with Michael Cruz Kayne and Katie Nolan

Summary

Pablo Torre Finds Out
Episode: Share & F*ck Around & Tell with Michael Cruz Kayne and Katie Nolan
Release Date: June 19, 2025

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1. Introduction and Personal Updates

The episode kicks off with Pablo Torre introducing the hosts, Michael Cruz Kane and Katie Nolan, amidst a series of humorous advertisements. After the initial banter, the trio delves into personal updates, sharing anecdotes that set the tone for a laid-back and candid conversation.

• Michael Cruz Kane shares his excitement about receiving new contact lenses promptly from 1-800-contacts, humorously remarking, “I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order.” (00:37)

• Katie Nolan discusses Home Depot's 4th of July appliance sales, highlighting up to 40% off and free delivery on select items, which adds a relatable touch for listeners planning their holiday upgrades. “[...] Upgrade to tech you can trust with Samsung appliances. The Home Depot has what you need to simplify your rout.” (01:07)

2. Exploring the North Carolina Tar Heels

The conversation shifts to the origins of the North Carolina Tar Heels slogan. The hosts engage in a lively debate about the etymology and historical context, blending humor with historical facts.

• Pablo provides an informative perspective, stating, “The troops from other states call us Tar Heels. I am proud of the name...” (05:06)

• Katie adds a humorous twist, riffing on the term with, “…Sick kitten to a hot brick. That's bars right there.” (05:47)

This segment not only educates but also entertains, demonstrating the hosts' chemistry and ability to discuss diverse topics effortlessly.

3. Personal Anecdotes: Injuries and Health

The hosts candidly share personal stories about injuries and health issues, fostering a sense of camaraderie and vulnerability.

• Katie Nolan recounts a basketball mishap, humorously detailing how her competitive spirit led to fracturing her elbow. “[...] My legs go over my head and I catch myself with my arm extended, fracturing the radial head of my elbow.” (24:17)

• Michael Cruz Kane relates by mentioning his own struggles, adding a layer of mutual support and understanding among the trio. “[...] If it hurts, you should have it medicated.” (18:28)

4. The Omnicord Adventure

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the exploration of the Omnicord, a unique musical instrument that becomes the centerpiece of their discussion.

• Katie introduces the Omnicord, sharing her excitement: “She brought up her own deepest pain. And that is...” (07:27)

• Pablo and Michael express their curiosity and attempts to understand its functionality, leading to a humorous and improvisational demonstration of the instrument. “[...] Let's do this thing where we point your microphone. Katie. At it.” (36:13)

• Notable Quote: “[...] This is just an ad for the Omnicord, but you need the chords to be playing, so I think. Oh, bossa nova, bouillave.” – Katie Nolan (37:40)

5. Attempting to Form a Band

Embracing the spontaneity of the moment, the hosts attempt to form a band using their Omnicords, resulting in a blend of musical experimentation and comedic mishaps.

• Pablo enthusiastically declares, “Guys, we're starting a band.” (41:33)

• Michael expresses skepticism yet joins in the fun: “[...] This is like if Chris Martin was...” (37:15)

• The trio engages in a playful struggle to create harmonious tunes, highlighting their improvisational chemistry and the lighthearted nature of the episode.

6. Conflict with Bill Simmons and Peabody Nominations

A pivotal moment arises when the hosts discuss a professional conflict involving Bill Simmons and Pablo Torre's reporting.

• Pablo reflects on the tension: “[...] Bill Simmons took issue with Pablo's reporting...” (14:22)

• Michael provides insights into the situation, mentioning how Pablo defended his work and the subsequent Peabody Award nominations. “[...] And he was like, have you listened to any of the episodes that the aggregated clips are coming from that you're referring to?” (14:26)

• This segment underscores the challenges in journalism and the dedication of the hosts to their craft.

7. Humorous and Lighthearted Moments

Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in various humorous exchanges that showcase their personalities and the dynamic interplay between them.

• Katie jokes about her limited skill with the Omnicord: “[...] There are like a zillion buttons.” (38:00)

• Michael adds to the humor with self-deprecating remarks: “[...] I couldn't even stomach on my phone.” (42:00)

• The lighthearted banter provides a balance to the more serious discussions, keeping the episode entertaining and relatable.

8. Closing Remarks and Future Plans

As the episode nears its end, the hosts reflect on their experiences and tease future endeavors.

• Pablo muses about the potential of their newfound musical interest: “[...] This is rules. Okay, I would like to have Michael, though, perform the song using his voice.” (41:46)

• Katie expresses apprehension about public performances but remains engaged: “[...] This is gonna be the last time we see each other.” (46:03)

• The episode concludes with a blend of humor and anticipation for what's next, leaving listeners eager for future episodes.

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Notable Quotes

• Michael Cruz Kane: “I'd say strumplet is what I would have said. Strumplet.” (27:38)

• Katie Nolan: “I've had it for a week. I've got it like a week ago.” (28:33)

• Pablo Torre: “This is your way of going. We got too many people listening to this.” (43:42)

• Michael Cruz Kane: “When you try your best and you don't succeed? When you get what you want but not what you need.” (46:17)

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Conclusion

"Share & F*ck Around & Tell with Michael Cruz Kayne and Katie Nolan" is a quintessential episode of Pablo Torre Finds Out, blending personal anecdotes, musical exploration, professional discourse, and humor. The hosts' chemistry and willingness to venture into uncharted territories like the Omnicord offer listeners both entertainment and insight. Whether discussing injuries, journalistic challenges, or attempting to form a band, the episode maintains an engaging flow that is both informative and delightful for new and returning audiences alike.

For more episodes, follow Pablo on YouTube, Instagram, X, and subscribe to his newsletter.

Transcript

[Pablo Torre]

Paul. I'm Pablo Torre and this episode of Pablo Torre Finds out is brought to you by Remy Martin. 1738 Accord Royale. Exceptionally smooth cognac for all your game day festivities. Please drink responsibly because today we're going to find out what this sound is. What? Right after this ad.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Close your eyes, exhale, feel your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh my gosh, they're so fast.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And breath, breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts.

[Katie Nolan]

Shop 4th of July Savings at the Home Depot right now and get up to 40% off plus up to an extra $600 off select appliances with free delivery like Samsung. From all in one washer dryers to smart refrigerators. Upgrade to tech you can trust with Samsung appliances. The Home Depot has what you need to simplify your rout.

[Pablo Torre]

Don't miss 4th of July appliance savings.

[Katie Nolan]

At the Home Depot. Free delivery on appliance purchases of $396 or more. Offer valid June 18 through July 9, US only.

[Pablo Torre]

See store or online for details.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm fixating on an old song that I've rediscovered. I can't stop listening to it. I mean, what is this? Huh?

[Pablo Torre]

Something about you by level 42 which I'm fading out for legal reasons.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Come on.

[Pablo Torre]

I. I would just want to vibe to that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's so good.

[Katie Nolan]

What's it called? Level 42.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's the band. I was going to let it get to the chorus so people could know they've heard it before. Cuz I promise you both we can.

[Pablo Torre]

Skip through the chorus.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That bass is filthy.

[Katie Nolan]

We love a bass.

[Pablo Torre]

We love a bass on this.

[Katie Nolan]

Do do do do. Is that a share and tell or is that just a snack for you?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's just a snack. Is this a Sharon tell?

[Pablo Torre]

It is a literal snack.

[Katie Nolan]

I was told to don't open it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What's going on?

[Pablo Torre]

Okay, I'm jumping in here to say that if you Watch PTFO on YouTube you probably know that the Nintendo adjacent style sound effect, the doot doot doot doot that you just heard visually triggers an actual role playing game style menu with a little animated version of me who explains stuff. Which is why Internally, the PTFO staff calls these voiceovers that I do RPGs. Anyway, I say all of this because Katie Nolan's question today. What is going on? Is a good one. Numerous Pablo Torre finds out. Observers have observed that we have always chosen the Pablo Explains menu option, but I have never actually selected the second option that is shown right beneath Pablo Explains, which is simply F around. But after repeatedly forcing Chantel regulars Katie Nolan and Michael Cruz Kane to be guinea pigs in what some critics have called the future of journalism, and still others have called your stupid Bill Belichick, Jordan Hudson episodes, I realized something. I realized that it was probably time to just around. I've somehow explained less about what we're doing here today than I have in previous episodes, which is great. Also explain nothing.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Right.

[Pablo Torre]

Which is not just crazy. I have been reflecting.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

And I think I owe you guys.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

An episode where we just get to chill.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

With surprises in the center of the table. No, I sent a group chat to you guys and it was just hello. And Katie's response was, oh. And I was like, I need to. We need to re. Establish our friendship.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Anytime I hear in this group text, I go, oh, Jesus Christ, what'd she do now? Yeah, but this wasn't about. It's not about her.

[Pablo Torre]

Well, so technically.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, no.

[Pablo Torre]

It has been now 50 days since our many, many, many, many, many public records requests were filed and not fulfilled.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, no.

[Pablo Torre]

So that's. That is happening in a parallel track alongside this North Carolina administrators. If you're listening to this and come on.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And raise up.

[Pablo Torre]

Raise up.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Take your shirt off.

[Katie Nolan]

Heels, heels up. What do they say? They must have a thing.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, what's their. What's their. Like, their slogan?

[Katie Nolan]

Heels up.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Click your heels.

[Pablo Torre]

What is North Carolina Tar Heels slogan?

[Katie Nolan]

Go, go blue.

[Pablo Torre]

They have a song called I'm a Tar Heel born. Do you want to listen to what that sounds like for a second?

[Katie Nolan]

I do.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's not as good as something about you.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, it doesn't have the lyrics spoken.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Maybe you could sing them.

[Pablo Torre]

You get the gist. I'm a Tar Heel born, I'm a Tar Heel bred and when I die, I'm a Tar Heel dead.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nice.

[Katie Nolan]

Wow. Tar Heel. It's Tar Heel because, like, they wouldn't run, right? Like, they were. They were brave. I think that's why they're called. I think that's why they're called.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I just figured they made tar.

[Katie Nolan]

I thought it was because, like, they.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Were cigarettes and they made those.

[Katie Nolan]

I ain't. I ain't Gonna flee right. My heels are stuck right here.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Did you Google it at all or that was just all you put is.

[Katie Nolan]

All rattling around in here? Instead of like, you know, information that I need, that's what I got.

[Pablo Torre]

Car Heel State. Okay, here we go. In its early years as a colony, North Carolina became an important source of the naval stores of tar and turpentine.

[Katie Nolan]

Nope.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Which they then put in the cigarettes, didn't I?

[Pablo Torre]

Not seeing that quite yet.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, what about Heel, though? Here we go.

[Pablo Torre]

The troops from other states call us Tar Heels. I am proud of the name, as tar is a sticky substance and the Tar Heel stuck up like a sick kitten to a hot brick. While many others from a more oily state.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Sick kitten to a hot brick.

[Pablo Torre]

And left the Tar Heels to stick it out. This is from an 1863 article in a rally newspaper in which a Confederate soldier from North Carolina is quoted saying. What he just said.

[Katie Nolan]

The Tar Heels. Stick it out.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Sick kitten to a hot brick.

[Katie Nolan]

Sick kitten to a hot brick. That's bars right there. Yeah, he was dropping, as they said at that time, some bars.

[Pablo Torre]

You are praising a Confederate soldier's bars.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Whoa, not me. I'm distancing myself from anything he just said.

[Katie Nolan]

Look, I don't agree with stuff that they say, but the rappers from the Confederacy were incredible.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't think that's true, actually.

[Pablo Torre]

So I. I have a snack pack. We have a container of something that Katie does not know. But I know and Michael knows.

[Katie Nolan]

I barely know.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I just thought it was a. What's the one, everyone?

[Katie Nolan]

Pickleball.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

It's not a pickleball hitter.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's a violin.

[Katie Nolan]

Nope.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

It is what it says, but that's not gonna. That's not gonna explain. That's not gonna help you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It says Omnicord. Omnichord. Oh, is it a ukulele?

[Katie Nolan]

Nope.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, sure. What are we doing here?

[Katie Nolan]

So far, so good.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What's the purpose today? That meat's not going to open, is it?

[Katie Nolan]

Honestly, I'll eat a gusto pack. I'm not afraid to.

[Pablo Torre]

So much of my diet is gusto packs. Small batch artisanal meats.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, gross.

[Pablo Torre]

Smooth fontina cheese, artisanal crackers, mild salami. Gross snack pack. Keep refrigerated with the chocolate.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, it's got a little fruit bar. It's got a fruit bar.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

There's no fruit bar.

[Pablo Torre]

This is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This is just cheese, meat, crackers.

[Pablo Torre]

Great protein and dairy and some artisanal crackers.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, this is. This is the adult lunchable.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, Very true. We have a lot of those in my home.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Probably much more expensive.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, yeah. A lot of salt in there, baby.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Let me forget. I'm putting this on the ground.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, okay, I'll try.

[Pablo Torre]

That's a. I'll try to remember place to rest your lollipops.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Trash in here.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We've never been a trash in here, which is crazy.

[Katie Nolan]

Where are the receptacles?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Thank you.

[Pablo Torre]

We're like Japan in here.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

And you know what I'm talking about.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, no trash cans.

[Pablo Torre]

No trash cans.

[Katie Nolan]

But I believe the way you're like.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We're like New York City during a marathon.

[Katie Nolan]

Just peeing our pants.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. Walking your dog. And then you realize, like, oh, something must be going on publicly this weekend because there's no garbage can anywhere.

[Katie Nolan]

Is the whole episode going to be what we're doing right now? Cuz, honestly, I'm great with this.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I guess so. I didn't get high.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm a hyped. Yeah, I didn't get high at all.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Damn, that sucks.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't usually get high. I don't really get. I don't really get high. I tell you what. The littlest. And I'm so far gone.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Great.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm absolutely obliterated.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's economical.

[Katie Nolan]

It's very hard for me to find a place where it's like. I'm glad that I did this.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Just take one hit. Start there.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

Thank you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You're welcome.

[Pablo Torre]

What happens to you?

[Katie Nolan]

What happens to me? Yeah, I kind of. Well, I often become, like, so far gone. Often. I hardly ever do it, but, like, so far gone that I'm like, paralyzed. You know what I mean? The very first time that I accidentally used a marijuana product. What? I was at a party and there were brownies and never even occurred to me that there would be weird weed in the brownies. So I ate like a few brownies. Because I'm. I'm the type of guy, he'll go to a party and I'll eat a lot of your brownies.

[Pablo Torre]

You know, conscientious towards the chef.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, Right. You made all these brownies. I'm gonna let them sit here.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You're the guy that walks in like the third time in the room and goes, brownies.

[Katie Nolan]

That's exactly right.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Well, I gotta eat them. Even though it's your. It's your.

[Pablo Torre]

You put them into a fake shopping cart.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I make a big show out of it. And yeah, I'll eat. I'll eat a few. So I ate a few Brownies. And it was by a pool, and I was sitting by the pool, and I was like, I feel a little bit weird. And then people were like, you guys want to get in the pool? And I was like, yeah, I would love to get in the pool. And then my arms and legs would not move. And I was like, I guess I'm here for a while. So that's kind of.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm bad.

[Katie Nolan]

I rarely get the place where you're like, I'm just a little bit happier than I was.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't think eating a couple brownies was taking it. Eat. Like, that's like. If I had a couple of brownies, I would also be comatose.

[Katie Nolan]

I guess. I mean, I'm not good at. I feel like you seem like someone who's really. You're a connoisseur.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, no. Dan is. I just. Whatever he gets. I go, nice. And then I take a hit or two of it, and then I go, I'm good for three hours.

[Katie Nolan]

I got you. Yeah. See, I just don't know what. I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe. Maybe I need, like, a weed sommelier to probably to show me how to make it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Pablo could help.

[Pablo Torre]

I'll be your Sherpa.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

He brought a bunch of weed to my house with athlete names on it.

[Katie Nolan]

Athlete names.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, you didn't even watch the episode, Michael. You would have.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, I did. Gary Peyotian.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I mean, that's the pun. It could have been. It wasn't that pun, but, yeah, that's close. Just Gary Payton. The glove is called Gary Payton. It's not.

[Katie Nolan]

Is that a pun?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Peyotean was a pun.

[Katie Nolan]

No, but I thought. Okay, but there wasn't one. No Good.

[Pablo Torre]

But what about. What.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The amount of times I come here and I forget to put my engagement ring back on is too many.

[Pablo Torre]

Me thinks the fiance doth protest too much.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. I don't. I have. I don't wear my wedding ring. We're ready. It's called a Redding Wing, and I don't wear it very much.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Why?

[Katie Nolan]

Because I have what is called.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Because it's easier to cheat.

[Katie Nolan]

Infidelity, eczema.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh.

[Katie Nolan]

And so I get a cool little ring of eczema right around my. Right around my hand. And it's not fun to have that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Sure, sure.

[Katie Nolan]

As long as I. If I don't sweat at all, it's fine. But if I do sweat, then it starts to accumulate under the ring.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

And this is also. This is like, how do you track metrics for this? Podcast is the kind of thing that makes going great.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. Numbers are going through the roof.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. So I give myself a shot.

[Pablo Torre]

Let's describe your finger eczema.

[Katie Nolan]

More.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, no.

[Pablo Torre]

I want to get to what Michael brought us.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Is it food?

[Katie Nolan]

No. And I. And I was told to bring it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What? You didn't tell me to bring anything.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I. I assume you're welcome.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Thanks.

[Katie Nolan]

I honestly, I assumed you'd be bringing, like, some kind of obscure instrument. Also, I brought the funk. I thought you'd bring, like, a wood block or something.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

See, I brought the funk.

[Katie Nolan]

You did. That's true. But people don't even know that we don't soup down.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Sorry, sorry. We deleted that. Okay, Sorry. It might be free. I don't. It's fair use. That's an old well.

[Pablo Torre]

Fair use. Sound alike for the fun.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's not gonna be the same.

[Katie Nolan]

We can do. The three of us can do an.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Acapella on whatever this is.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, yeah, it's not acapella if we use this can. Can you use. Is the problem. You can't even license. Like, you can't sing the song, right?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. You can't do anything.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Well, is level 42 litigious? I don't even remember them as a band.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, they're going to be litigious now that you said that. That was nice.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

They're coming for her.

[Pablo Torre]

Is level 42 really gonna sue us?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Right.

[Katie Nolan]

I dare you, level 42.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What are you gonna do, fire me? And then they very much did.

[Katie Nolan]

Bill Simmons said that. And then next week, level 42 sued him.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm sorry, by the way, to Katie Nolan, for getting you sucked into a larger Internet happening in which you were asked questions like, which side are you on?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I've sucked it up and handled it, so I need Simmons to do the same. It's. It's weird. Pablo's investigating it. He's doing a fantastic job. So I'm Team Pablo, and I assume you are as well. Oh, yeah. But I picked you. It wasn't like it. There was no hesitation.

[Pablo Torre]

I noticed.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It was. He didn't even listen to the episode. I listened to it back and I was like, bro, come on. Pablo got into a media fight with another. With another member of the. His name is Bill Simmons, I believe. We just talked about him. He. Bill Simmons took issue with Pablo's reporting, and then we don't even cut it out. But Pablo then went to LA for his. Did you win the. Oh, no. He went for the. What's it called?

[Pablo Torre]

The Peabody's. Peabody's. And what a Boston way to pronounce.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, that is. Sorry, how the bodies. Sorry. It's a Peabody, Massachusetts. And he was out there in la, so he did Simmons's podcast, like, refuting Simmons, saying that it was like, whatever. Reporting or whatever. And basically during the episode, he was like, have you listened to any of the episodes that the aggregated clips are coming from that you're referring to? And Simmons was like, well, what I'd like to talk about instead.

[Pablo Torre]

It was a skillful move by Bill.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, it was not a skillful move by Bill immediately. You could see right through it. So, no, then Bill.

[Katie Nolan]

I didn't realize that Peabody's. The Peabody had nominations. I thought you just. Just won.

[Pablo Torre]

No, there are nominations now. Oh, I know, because I.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You have one.

[Pablo Torre]

Didn't win it.

[Katie Nolan]

I do. I have one.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We noticed in your house, brother.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Shan was like, you know, he's a somebody.

[Pablo Torre]

And I did the thing that Connor McDavid did that everyone got mad at him for. I touched it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What the hell? What the hell? Oh, my God. Oh.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That might have jinxed it that he touched the cup.

[Pablo Torre]

You should neither touch nor hoist the conference trophies when those series have been won because the players, according to this footnoted Wikipedia page, feel that the Stanley cup is a true championship trophy and only it should be hoisted.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, it's. We're kind of pretentious hockey fans that way, but it's. It is what it is. It's a known thing.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm just trying to guess further and further away from the fact that Michael has the thing that I. Eczema on his hands. Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

By the way, I don't have it right now. Don't give it to the cup right now. I don't have it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Right.

[Pablo Torre]

Where is it?

[Katie Nolan]

The eczema?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Where are you keeping it?

[Katie Nolan]

I don't have the eczema anywhere, you guys. I take a shot. I take a shot every two weeks. I'm a pharma. Really?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, you do?

[Katie Nolan]

Which one?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wait, let me guess. Let me guess. It's because it's nothing. Is everything.

[Pablo Torre]

Now is the time to ask your.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Dermatologist about Skyrizi, which is.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, Skyrizi.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Skyrizi.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, it's not that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's not Skyrizy. Damn. That is Skyrizi, though. Have you seen the one?

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, wait, we did an episode about this. We did do Pixens.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, I must have. I talk about it all the time.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I love more with Dupixon.

[Katie Nolan]

That's Right.

[Pablo Torre]

How do you know all of the jingles?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Because I watch tv. The jingles day. I watch TV all day. There's a commercial where they have baseball fans in a stadium chanting farca.

[Katie Nolan]

Ask your doctor about Farsiga.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Farsiga.

[Pablo Torre]

Now, there is one from a commercial that I noticed was I with. I must not have been with you guys. But there is a pharmaceutical drug that is supposed to address a bent penis.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, yeah, For. That's called Peyronie's. The disease is called Peyronie's.

[Pablo Torre]

Do not stress enough how this was unprepared by everybody.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I believe it's called Peyronie's disease.

[Katie Nolan]

I mean, the level. The level of quickness with you.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, yeah, it's.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

There's a good one and a bad one.

[Katie Nolan]

Spandura. Yeah, I got that. It is made it up.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't know.

[Pablo Torre]

Absolutely. Called Peyronie.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Thank you.

[Pablo Torre]

That is the disease when a fibrous scar tissue inside the penis causes curved, painful erections.

[Katie Nolan]

That's got to be such a bummer for Doug Peyroni. You know what I mean?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

For the doctor to be like, actually, you're going to be famous on this. And he's like, wait, why?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What? Please don't.

[Katie Nolan]

Don't do that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Name it after anything else.

[Katie Nolan]

Can't you call it just bendy penis disease? No, Doug, we're naming this after you.

[Pablo Torre]

They need to understand how fibrous this scar tissue is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, my goodness. Fibrous.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm looking for the. For the. For the. For the pharmaceutical.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What The. What the.

[Katie Nolan]

It's not like just a splint.

[Pablo Torre]

Zex. I think it's Zex.

[Katie Nolan]

Damn.

[Pablo Torre]

Otherwise known as collagenase. Clostridium. Ad Histories Sitcom.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What are we doing?

[Pablo Torre]

What is this?

[Katie Nolan]

What are the rails?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What are the rails?

[Pablo Torre]

Where we're trying to.

[Katie Nolan]

Are we a train?

[Pablo Torre]

Are you saying that you're trying to straighten the rails?

[Katie Nolan]

No, Absolutely not.

[Pablo Torre]

Are you saying that there's a fibrous tissue? Perhaps.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

If it hurts, you should have it medicated. But I will say, if it doesn't hurt and it curves a certain way, you could just leave it. Okay, that's just advice.

[Pablo Torre]

But just think about how that is advice for me. That's a freebie.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's just free advice. As long as it doesn't hurt, you could just leave it.

[Katie Nolan]

Doug Peyroni. Why don't you call in, buddy?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

If it's going side to side, probably take the.

[Katie Nolan]

Take the Zycaflex.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But if it's Up.

[Pablo Torre]

My main reaction was like, wow, this must be a common affliction in order for this commercial to be aired during the sporting event.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

They do a lot of dick centered stuff during sports.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. This is like, this is when we're gonna get.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Remember baseball playoffs used to always be. What's the one that's not Viagra? The one that starts with maybe a C. Cialis.

[Pablo Torre]

Remember when there was.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nobody wanted to make that a big deal. That you knew that right away.

[Katie Nolan]

Took me a second because I almost said sky Alice. But I knew that wasn't right.

[Pablo Torre]

That would be embarrassing.

[Katie Nolan]

Skyriz. That's when you put them. When you take them together, that's when.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You think is everything is hard as.

[Pablo Torre]

Hey, you want to get Skyrizy?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Skyrizzi.

[Pablo Torre]

What a flirtatious bird.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, yeah, we got it. Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Creature.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What does the podcast.

[Pablo Torre]

So, Mr. Peyroni.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Francois Jigot de la Peyroni.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

A French surgeon.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, it was the surgeon.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, wow.

[Pablo Torre]

And this is, I think, a real. A real problem for the other Peyronis in this. In this lineage, because. Yeah, he's the guy who discovered, as it is described here, induration of the corpora cavernosa of the penis cavernosa.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, wow.

[Pablo Torre]

You guys want to see a diagram?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Probably not.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

But yeah, I do. I do want to see the diagram. I do.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wait, where are we? Where are we? What are we looking at?

[Pablo Torre]

We're looking at the constituent cavernous cylinders of the Venus.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm sorry, what's the. Where are we looking at? Is that the mushroom at the top?

[Pablo Torre]

The glance. This is like an old illustration.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't know what that is. And I don't.

[Pablo Torre]

Like, my dad is a urologist. This is totally exactly what he would want me doing.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Totally. Exactly.

[Pablo Torre]

Wikipedia ing medical illustrations.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Red Sox traded Raffy Devers.

[Pablo Torre]

How is it. How. How is that miserable? That must have been a real kick to the dorsal vein.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's miserable.

[Pablo Torre]

Let me close out some windows and open that one up.

[Katie Nolan]

Close up some of my penis tabs.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It has made me so miserable. And yet I brought it up because I don't want to talk about curved dick anymore on this podc. Looking for a way out. She brought up her own deepest pain. And that is.

[Pablo Torre]

Sounds like there should be a pharmaceutical product for what you're dealing with.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I know. I think there's a lot of them.

[Katie Nolan]

I think they have. Yeah, there are a lot of them.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Take them all at once.

[Pablo Torre]

Well, let's not do that.

[Katie Nolan]

What if that feels a little severe?

[Pablo Torre]

What if instead we unzipped something else. If you're looking to add something special to your next celebration, try Rami Martin 1738 Accord Royale. This smooth, flavorful cognac is crafted from the finest grapes and aged to perfection, giving you rich notes of oak and caramel with every sip. Whether you're celebrating a big win or simply enjoying some cocktails with family and friends, Remy Martin 1738 is the perfect spirit to elevate any occasion. So go ahead, treat yourself to a little luxury and try Remy Martin 1738 Accord Royale. Learn more at remymartin.com Remy Martin Cognac Fiend Champagne. 14 alcohol by volume. Imported by Remy Control USA Incorporated, New York, NY. 1738 Centaur Design. Please drink responsibly.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Knowing you could be saving money for the things you really want is a great feeling. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer, availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state.

[Pablo Torre]

Michael, I believe, has been spending his days, when he's not around us, doing something that we should enjoy now that he's here with us.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. So a friend of mine, a comedian, had an omnicord in her office. Supposed to know what that is, so. And I started playing it and I thought, oh, this is so fun. And then I bought one.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

How much? Price point?

[Katie Nolan]

It's like $750. Okay. It's kind of.

[Pablo Torre]

I love this.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Below a thousand.

[Katie Nolan]

And I got it like a week ago.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

And I also, I think since the last time I saw you guys, I broke my elbow. Do you know that?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No. You seem like you're fine.

[Pablo Torre]

I don't even know which one.

[Katie Nolan]

My left. My left elbow. So I've got some limited motions instead.

[Pablo Torre]

Of like, how did you break it?

[Katie Nolan]

I was playing B ball with the youths. And I'll tell you guys, I was saucing these kids.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I bet.

[Pablo Torre]

So I watched. I've been grinding some Michael Cruz Kane game tape.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

What I love about Michael Cruz Kane playing basketball is that he wears sweatpants.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

I do. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I'm not afraid to do that. Well, it's just whatever's clean.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay?

[Katie Nolan]

It doesn't have to be that clean. Whatever's around.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Basketball pants.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Common.

[Pablo Torre]

But he's got. He's got a J. I was absolutely.

[Katie Nolan]

Wait, what are you even Talking about, where have you seen me play basketball?

[Pablo Torre]

The same place on Instagram that I saw you play an Omnichord.

[Katie Nolan]

I was so.

[Pablo Torre]

Your window.

[Katie Nolan]

Let me tell you this, let me tell you the story, because it's worth it for this podcast.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay?

[Katie Nolan]

I was saucing these kids up, absolutely ruining some tournaments, guy rizzing them. I'm feeling so good. So you know what? I do something I haven't done in 10 years. I sprint from one end of the court, the other end of the court, and I'm calling for the ball. I'm saying, I'm telling the guy, get me.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm going.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm like, send it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm driving to the hoop.

[Katie Nolan]

I see that. I'm tracking the ball with my eyes. I go to catch it. I'm fully extended. A much bigger, stronger, faster, younger man is doing the same thing I'm doing.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Not a good idea.

[Katie Nolan]

I leap off the ground. Must have been 1, maybe 0.5 inches off the ground. Get absolutely mauled by this younger man. My legs go over my head and I catch myself with my arm extended, fracturing the radial head of my elbow. I'm kind of rolling around the ground for a little while. Everyone's like, are you okay? And you don't really know how injured you are. Right away I was like, I think I'm fine. So I play one more play.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No.

[Katie Nolan]

We're down by two, Katie.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Damn. Clay Thompson situation.

[Katie Nolan]

Your boy gets the ball on the wing. Wet game's over. And I go, you guys, I think I gotta go.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

My radial head is.

[Katie Nolan]

And then I left. I think, Honestly, I think. I think I've changed those kids lives.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Anyway, I've been spending a lot of time not playing basketball, trying to learn how to play the Omni court.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Great.

[Pablo Torre]

My God.

[Katie Nolan]

So this, That's. This is it. It's right here.

[Pablo Torre]

You said. You said. Okay, computer.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nice.

[Katie Nolan]

Nice, nice. I don't. I don't know.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You called the karma police.

[Katie Nolan]

That's good. These are the. That's radio radial head.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Radial head of your elbow. I got you there.

[Katie Nolan]

Give me a second. I knew that it was Radiohead. Of course I didn't get radial head right.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And. But you guys sound so different. Why it took so long.

[Pablo Torre]

We thought we just left you high and dry.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Whoa.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't even know. I don't know what that is. That I know. Of course, man. Well, anywho, I'm feeling like a real creep and that's too much, too easy.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, that's good stuff. Those are all the ones that I know stuff. TV talk show host on mute. Talk show on mute.

[Pablo Torre]

Are you stroking out?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, and of course, Talk show on mute.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's a radio. We're doing Radiohead songs.

[Katie Nolan]

Is it a radio song?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think so, but I can't remember the order of the words.

[Katie Nolan]

Alexa, tell me if Talk show on mute is a show.

[Pablo Torre]

Talk shows on mute. Thank you. Is incubus.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, wait, then what's the one I'm thinking of?

[Pablo Torre]

TV on the radio?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, that's a band.

[Katie Nolan]

The video killed the radio star.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Sorry, can you do this?

[Katie Nolan]

No. What do we do? Hold on.

[Pablo Torre]

We gotta describe for an audio audience as a visual thing. Okay, so Katie, can you describe actually what this is?

[Katie Nolan]

She's googling Radiohead songs.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Talk show host. Talk show host. Talk show host. That was the song I was trying to think of.

[Katie Nolan]

You sound like you were trying. You said it like you were trying to make Jay Leno appear thing.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't think that's who shows up. I don't think that's the one.

[Pablo Torre]

Candyman Rules.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Omnicord by Suzuki.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's a motorcycle, by the way.

[Pablo Torre]

I didn't know this, but the motorcycle company also makes all that other stuff.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes. It's truly, truly wild.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What a company.

[Katie Nolan]

Yamaha, I think, is also the same. Doesn't Yamaha make motorcycles and pianos?

[Pablo Torre]

Yes, yes.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And like water skis. Water jet skis.

[Katie Nolan]

Water jet skis. Ski waters, maybe.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Well, I just think, like, that's shaped like a bean. It's a little bean, like. Yeah, it's almost like the outline of a whistle. One side on the right side, the smaller the tapered end. We have what appears to be a speaker.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, that's right.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't know what this ribbed.

[Katie Nolan]

That's called a strum plate.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, there's a strum plate. And then we have a couple. Well, that says that's the strum plate.

[Katie Nolan]

Now these are the controls for the strum plate.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You know what can I tell you? I'd say strumplet is what I would have said. Strumplet.

[Pablo Torre]

There are like a zillion buttons.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Rhythm chord, keyboard, strumplet, voice pattern. And then we have major, minor, the seventh, and all the different chords across the top.

[Katie Nolan]

Sure do.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, so this is a push button. This is like a keyboard, but different.

[Katie Nolan]

It's like a keyboard. I mean, honestly, you know, now. Now you know as much about it as I do. Pretty much.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So.

[Pablo Torre]

So. So this also has an aesthetic of like. What year do you think this was made 72.

[Katie Nolan]

I. I think it definitely has the look of that and I think it is modeled after some. Some version of itself. Yeah, that was released around that time. But I think this is a relatively new instrument.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Money you paid for it. Better be at least.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. So.

[Pablo Torre]

So you bought this on the Internet?

[Katie Nolan]

I used the Internet to buy it. I said, omnicord, buy. And I went to shopping and then I bought it, and here it is.

[Pablo Torre]

Wow.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay. And this is the OM108 model. OM108?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. So my daughter and my wife went to El Paso to see Coldplay with my brother and his girlfriend.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

And you were not invited?

[Katie Nolan]

I was neither there nor was I invited.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

So I was at home and I taught myself to play the beginning of one Coldplay song on here.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, I think I watched you doing this on the Internet and I couldn't watch it, so I changed. I think I scrolled past.

[Katie Nolan]

Couldn't watch it because it's like so cringe.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, no, no, no. It's because it was so good. And I was like, not ready for this. I think I.

[Pablo Torre]

That's what happened.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Had a little bit of drugs and was like, I don't think he needs to look in my eyes and sing. I don't think I need to have him look me in the eye and sing personally.

[Katie Nolan]

So. And then I guess Pablo saw this video, which I think having. Having looked at, I think maybe a hundred people have seen.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nice.

[Katie Nolan]

It's been shadow banned by Instagram. Rightfully.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

People can't see this kind of stuff. Too hot for tv.

[Pablo Torre]

I made immediate direct eye contact with it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, sick.

[Pablo Torre]

But I.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And then you want him to do it live.

[Katie Nolan]

And then for some reason, you had me bring it here.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You did.

[Katie Nolan]

But what I. What I wasn't sure about, just in.

[Pablo Torre]

My defense, okay, you're saying if I don't know some other trio of friends you hung out with, one of them bought a musical instrument and displayed a proficiency with it, you wouldn't have follow ups?

[Katie Nolan]

No, I sure would. I would. I would. I don't know.

[Pablo Torre]

If Katie bought a theremin, I'd be like, no, I didn't bring that in.

[Katie Nolan]

That's what I thought would happen. What I thought would make sense to me is you were like, michael, you bring your omnicord, Katie's gonna bring her theremin. I've got, you know, a glass kazoo, a pan fl. A pan flute, and I will play it like Zomfir, the master of the pan flute, and together we'll play together.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Zoogle. Look that up.

[Katie Nolan]

On Zoogle.

[Pablo Torre]

We just replay Katie dismissively.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

How are you even going to Zoogle?

[Katie Nolan]

Zoogle. Zoogle it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Zamfir.

[Pablo Torre]

How are you spelling it, George? Zamfir.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, it's exactly how you would have spelled it.

[Pablo Torre]

My God.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wow. Hello, darkness, mild friend.

[Pablo Torre]

Zamfir, man. Jesus. Romanian and alive. 84 years young.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Capital of Romania.

[Pablo Torre]

And he's known as. Yeah, he's from Gayesti.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That is it.

[Pablo Torre]

But.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

Sorry.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Play your thing. Let's go.

[Pablo Torre]

The master of the pan flute is Zamfir. The master of the omnicord.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, it's not. I'm not even good at it.

[Pablo Torre]

I'm not.

[Katie Nolan]

I've had it for a week. I've had it for a week. I'm better at the piano than I am at this, and I suck at the piano.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Am I bad on the piano?

[Pablo Torre]

Did you ever take piano lessons?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No. But I had a boyfriend who was super into Billy Joel.

[Katie Nolan]

Sure.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Once taught me.

[Katie Nolan]

Italian restaurant.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It might have been Good Night, Saigon. I think it was. It was doodly doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.

[Katie Nolan]

I think that is season retaliation.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes, that's it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Into the. Yeah. I used to be able to do that. I could not do that.

[Katie Nolan]

Now that feels like a relatively complicated.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It was incredibly complicated.

[Pablo Torre]

This guy sounds like he rules so far.

[Katie Nolan]

And that boyfriend. Billy Joel.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. Yes. He was a big Billy Joel fan, and his name was Billy Joel.

[Katie Nolan]

No relation.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

None. Try as he might, he's really. He's really qanon. Now, that ex of mine, I recently saw him reposting News Max, and I was like, jesus.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, boy. What's his name? We can.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We can Zoogle it.

[Katie Nolan]

Look him up on Zoogle.

[Pablo Torre]

My Internet search history is whacked out. Is. I'm gonna. I'm on. I'm on a terror alert list of some kind now.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So. No, I never took any piano lessons. I played clarinet.

[Katie Nolan]

Really?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Middle school.

[Pablo Torre]

What was your. What was your go to song?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, I don't know. Whatever we were playing that week. But I was second clarinet.

[Katie Nolan]

I was like, that's pretty good.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, it was decent.

[Katie Nolan]

How many clarinets were there?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't know. Five, Two, four, maybe two. I got to sit in the second clarinet seat. I had solos.

[Pablo Torre]

Did you. You didn't think of going pro with it?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, I don't even. I couldn't even tell you why I chose clarinet. I don't remember at all. I just. I loved it, you know?

[Katie Nolan]

It's a beautiful instrument.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's Like a girly oboe.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

A shiobo.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

I took piano lessons.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nice.

[Pablo Torre]

I can play one song.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Chopsticks.

[Pablo Torre]

No, I can play. Well, yes. Two songs. Chopsticks and Fur Elise.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nice.

[Pablo Torre]

By an artist you may have heard of before.

[Katie Nolan]

Sting.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Not the Police. It's actually the Police.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Or at least it's. Who. It's Mozart.

[Pablo Torre]

It's. I think it's Beethoven.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think Beethoven. We go into Ibiza.

[Katie Nolan]

From the beat Hoven.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Crazy. I had a. Yeah, I had a little Yamaha. A little white Yamaha keyboard. I wanted to play piano. And I remember once I saw it when I saw Home Alone somewhere in my memory. Remember that song?

[Katie Nolan]

Nope. Oh, yes.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I went upstairs and taught myself that on my little. But it wasn't knowing piano. It wasn't like, making it sound good. It was going.

[Katie Nolan]

But even that. But that's pretty sophisticated to be able to hear. Hear it and be like, I could play that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't think it is.

[Katie Nolan]

A lot of people can't do that. A lot of people can't hear a song and go, I can match it to this.

[Pablo Torre]

Is that perfect pitch?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. Are we finding out right now that you're a musical savant?

[Pablo Torre]

Are you Beethoven?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes. So that's my. That's Stevie Wonder of my music. And then I tried to play guitar when I was in college and my hands are too small.

[Pablo Torre]

What were you trying to play? Billy Joel.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, John Mayer. That was when I was in my John Mayer phase. And so my. The song I could play again to start way too difficult than, like, easy chords. There's a John Mayer song called Comfortable and the beginning of it is like this very beautiful, complicated. And I could play that. I couldn't now, but I could then.

[Katie Nolan]

So I feel like we're learning. You're secretly really good at instruments.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, I don't think that I am.

[Pablo Torre]

She can accurately describe.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And then I stop them. I think you're on mute.

[Katie Nolan]

Workday starting to sound the same.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think you're on mute.

[Katie Nolan]

Find something that sounds better for your career on LinkedIn.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

With LinkedIn job collections, you can browse curated collections by relevant industries and benefits.

[Katie Nolan]

Like Flexpto or hybrid workplaces so you can find the right job for you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Get [e-mail] jobs finding where you fit. LinkedIn knows how summer is coming right to your door with Target Circle360 get all the season go to's at home with same day delivery snacks for the pool party delivered sun lotion and towels for a beach day Delivered pillows and lights to deck out the deck that too. Delivered just when you want them summer your way Quick and easy Join now and get all the summer fun Delivered right to your home with target circle360. Membership required, subject to terms and conditions. Applies to orders over $35. Now tell me how this works. I don't understand it.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, well, I don't understand it either, so we're going to find out.

[Pablo Torre]

Let's do this thing where we point your microphone. Katie. At it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

And we'll point this microphone at us.

[Katie Nolan]

People who actually know how to use this instrument are going to be sad about this.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, there it is.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. And then. Well, I mean, I'm just gonna play it so, like, cool. It does like.

[Pablo Torre]

I feel like we're your backup band.

[Katie Nolan]

It does.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh.

[Pablo Torre]

I love this instrument already.

[Katie Nolan]

Check it out. What I mean, is it just fun? And the thing is that a dog could play it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nothing change nothing.

[Pablo Torre]

This is like if Chris Martin was.

[Katie Nolan]

In Zelda.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

How Do I Make It Funk?

[Katie Nolan]

That was basically the chords of Fix you. Thank you so much. That comes. That happens.

[Pablo Torre]

He's twisting knobs. Oh, yeah, the dance remix.

[Katie Nolan]

And then if you want, you know, other rhythms in the background. This is the same rhythm. It didn't change. Oh, that's rock, too. This is just an ad for the Omnichord, but you need the chords to be playing, so I think. Oh, bossa nova, bouillave.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nice.

[Pablo Torre]

Activate bouillabass mode.

[Katie Nolan]

And that, my friends, is everything I know about the Omnicord. Now you know everything I know. There are other things you can do on it. See this button says keyboard here.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

What does that do? Great. Great. That's a great question to ask. I haven't had long enough to know.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

They're yelling at me that I need to take my mic back.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, you have it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That was cool. I don't feel like I went any better. This is. I like this.

[Pablo Torre]

Can we do that more?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And what's the little one for? For.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, the little one. The little. Watch the little one. Okay, wait, little one. It's like, whatever's happening, the little one goes stop. Oh, little makes it all stop.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

And you know that this instrument was designed by someone who had a child because then at some point, they had to put a button on it to be like. It makes it. It makes it just stop.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's brilliant.

[Pablo Torre]

What are your.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh.

[Pablo Torre]

So have you unveiled this to your kids?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Well, they all saw the Instagram.

[Katie Nolan]

I would say that my children approached it with apprehension, but have taken kind of. They've taken an interest in it because it is a thing where, like, you go to a song that you like and you see the chords and you're like, now I can play everything now.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I just push the button.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You don't have to figure out how to make your fingers do that. You just go, boop.

[Katie Nolan]

It's a really great intro to playing music.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

There's a whole subreddit R slash omnicord.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Cool. Okay. Did they post you in it?

[Katie Nolan]

I hope not.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

They go, check out this guy because.

[Katie Nolan]

It'S gonna be people. It's gonna be people in cool bands.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Do cool bands use these?

[Katie Nolan]

I don't know. Maybe.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Who uses these?

[Katie Nolan]

I think the Gorillaz is. Gorillaz. That's a band, right? Oh, yeah, I think. I think. I think they have a song. I don't. I couldn't name a song the Gorillaz does.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes, you could.

[Katie Nolan]

I could.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. Feel good.

[Pablo Torre]

Ink clean.

[Katie Nolan]

How's that? Good?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Feel good?

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, maybe I did when you went down. I knew it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Thank you.

[Katie Nolan]

But I think they have a song that they made on the Omnichord.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Cut that out. By the way. Show me somebody wailing out on the gorillas.

[Pablo Torre]

Clint Eastwood is an omnicord.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, Clint Eastwood. I ain't happy I'm feeling glad I got sunshine.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, I know that song.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's them.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, yeah. You can make. You can make. You can make that. Do that.

[Pablo Torre]

You have that.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't. I don't know what chords they are.

[Pablo Torre]

Okay, well, I'll show you the screenshot.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, my God. This is crazy. That looks different than yours.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, this is like an old one.

[Pablo Torre]

He's got. He's got four lit up buttons.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, that's. That's probably the OG Omnichord.

[Pablo Torre]

It's.

[Katie Nolan]

But if you put it on auto mode, it will go through chord progressions on its own.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And so this is the podcast.

[Katie Nolan]

Just you wait until we reveal our Jordan Hudson's here. Mystery guest.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

She's here. Savor every last drop of summer with Starbucks. From bold refreshers to rich cold brews. The sunniest season only gets better. With a handcrafted ice beverage in your hand. Available for a limited time. Your summer favorites are ready at Starbucks.

[Katie Nolan]

My day kicks off with a refreshing Celsius energy drink. Then straight to the gym, pre K pickup back home to meal prep. Time for my fire station shift. One more Celsius. Gotta keep the lights on when the three alarm hits. I'm ready. Celsius live fit. Go grab a cold, refreshing Celsius at Your local retailer or locate [e-mail].

[Pablo Torre]

Man. Okay, so I'm gonna buy an omnicord.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, my God. Really? Are we all gonna buy them? Then we'll have an omni cord.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah. Guys, we're starting a band.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Three omnicord bands where nobody plays anything different. We all play the same instrument. It's crazy.

[Pablo Torre]

Press the button together. Oh, man. This is rules. Okay, I would like to have Michael, though, perform the song using his voice.

[Katie Nolan]

Wait, why?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You're gonna make him sing for us?

[Pablo Torre]

Was mid yawn.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wait, really? You're gonna make him do the thing live? I couldn't even stomach on my. On my phone.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I have to look at him while he sings. Can I turn my back? It's no offense.

[Pablo Torre]

I just like the voice.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Really? Yes. And I'll spin around if I like it.

[Pablo Torre]

We can do the voice style.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I really don't like looking at people directly while they sing. It makes me so uncomfortable. I'm sorry about it.

[Katie Nolan]

Don't you need to clear? Don't you need to clear? Can I even sing the song on here?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's a really good point. I'm turning my chair just in case he's making a really.

[Pablo Torre]

No, no, no, no, no, no. We are going to.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't want to be sued by Chris Martin for singing this song and also be singing it badly.

[Pablo Torre]

But what if we're journalistically analyzing it such that we are gonna fair use. We're gonna fair use your rendition of this song.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So is it fix you?

[Katie Nolan]

Huh?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think I know somebody who was one of the producers on that album, so maybe we could call him. Maybe they'll hire me or they got a new.

[Pablo Torre]

Does that make them more or less likely to live?

[Katie Nolan]

Hey, you know that sound you've been looking for? Well, this is not it.

[Pablo Torre]

I would like for you to play it, and then we can figure out if this is a thing we can air or not. But why? Because. Because. Because. Because as Katie Nolan has turned her chair around, this is the voice I need to journalistically establish that we're going to discuss this, its contents, it's lyrical value. It's musical execution through the lens, of course, of how I intend this, which is as a dedication to Bill Belichick and Jordan Hudson.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We try our best, but you don't succeed.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, you got. You sing it. You sing it. I don't even know, though. Honest to God, I don't know all the words.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Look them up, but don't look at me. You know?

[Pablo Torre]

Do you want me to when you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Get what you want.

[Pablo Torre]

The lyrics on my computer in front of you.

[Katie Nolan]

Like, I can't believe this happened.

[Pablo Torre]

A physical karaoke machine, people. My Filipino destiny sucks.

[Katie Nolan]

People, listen to this podcast that is.

[Pablo Torre]

Gonna be more than actually.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, my God. This is a moment for you.

[Katie Nolan]

This for you. This is your way of going. We got too many people listening to this.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah. We were like, what if you jet skied over the shark?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Let's call the herd. Let's. Let's have singing happen. Too many people here. Let's clear the room out. Michael, this is true.

[Katie Nolan]

It is. It really is that. It's like. It's the me bringing my guitar to a party of this.

[Pablo Torre]

Except in this case, the host of the party will not let you leave until he gets his dose.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And girls are turning their backs. It's actually doing the opposite. I feel like the rats that are being driven out of the city.

[Katie Nolan]

Listen, do you really want me to do this?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think it has to happen.

[Pablo Torre]

I could not. Do you want me to open this snack pack? Because that's the backup plan I can give you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Backup plan.

[Pablo Torre]

You got a snack up backup. That's all I got. So, again, this has.

[Katie Nolan]

This has a lot of, like, long term humiliation potential.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes, it does.

[Pablo Torre]

But this is not. It's not about you. It's about the music. Bill and Jordan, now that I'm not.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Understanding for whom I connection.

[Pablo Torre]

Because I believe. Because journalistically speaking, I believe that this is a song that we can discuss in the context of journalism that allows us to use it for fair use.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

And this. I still don't think that contents of this, I think are. I would say this is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But he tried his best and he did succeed.

[Katie Nolan]

Or.

[Pablo Torre]

Well, maybe we should let the song decide.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You're right. You're so right. Are we doing it or not? Because I'm gonna throw.

[Katie Nolan]

Is this really Katie?

[Pablo Torre]

He's gonna look that way. I'm gonna look directly at Michael.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm. I am vibrating with anxiety.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Sure.

[Katie Nolan]

Just thinking about all the ways that people will be able to make fun of me forever for doing. I mean, I already posted a video of myself doing this on Instagram.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This was cr.

[Katie Nolan]

Which was kind of a cringe thing to do from the outset.

[Pablo Torre]

No, that wasn't Grinch.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It was bold and brave, just not for me. It just wasn't for me.

[Katie Nolan]

I. This is gonna be the last time we see each other.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Probably.

[Katie Nolan]

This is it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I've had so much fun.

[Katie Nolan]

This is it.

[Pablo Torre]

We've had a good run.

[Katie Nolan]

This is it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

For us as a show. Five, six, seven, eight. Oh, my God.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't. Why are there more microphones? Okay, let's just. Let's just. We really got to do this really fast.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, let's just do it really fast.

[Pablo Torre]

Do it at the pace that the artist intended.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What the hell is this show?

[Katie Nolan]

It's also not. It's not a good key for me. I should probably learn how to play in a different key. It's too high.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Also, I haven't warmed up my voice. I haven't had any tea today.

[Katie Nolan]

When you. When you. Okay, let's just start over. When you. When you try. Okay, Me. All right. When you try your best and you don't succeed? When you get what you want but not what you need.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Well, that was a nice little run. I'm not turning around yet.

[Katie Nolan]

When you feel so tired but you can't. Asleep?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Stuck in a river.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Beautiful. You can sing.

[Pablo Torre]

This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out A Meadowlark Media production and I'll talk to you next time.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Sam.