Share & Hamburger & Tell with Michael Cruz Kayne and Katie Nolan

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Share & Hamburger & Tell with Michael Cruz Kayne and Katie Nolan"

Episode Details

• Title: Share & Hamburger & Tell with Michael Cruz Kayne and Katie Nolan
• Release Date: August 12, 2025
• Podcast: Pablo Torre Finds Out
• Host: Pablo Torre
• Guests: Michael Cruz Kayne and Katie Nolan

---

1. Opening Banter and Setting the Tone (00:00 - 01:02)

The episode kicks off with Pablo Torre greeting listeners, followed by light-hearted interactions between Katie Nolan and the Unknown Speaker (Michael Cruz Kayne). The conversation quickly dives into casual topics, setting a relaxed and humorous tone for the episode.

Notable Quote:

• Katie Nolan (00:17): "Hamburger."

2. Navigating On-Camera Appearances and Makeup Challenges (01:02 - 03:30)

Katie Nolan opens up about the challenges of maintaining her appearance on camera without the support of professional hair and makeup departments. She humorously shares her struggles with feeling "hot" and managing her look solo.

Notable Quotes:

• Katie Nolan (01:20): "I'm just not ready to be full cropped tank top on camera yet."
• Katie Nolan (02:12): "I wish I didn't constantly have people forced in my face how I could be improving my face."

3. Podcast's Esteemed Status and Audience Perception (05:18 - 06:08)

The guests discuss the podcast's recognition as one of the top 100 podcasts of all time, highlighting its enduring relevance and quality. They reflect on how this status encompasses both past achievements and future potential.

Notable Quote:

• Katie Nolan (05:19): "People forget that means not only all time back, it means all time in the future."

4. Behind-the-Scenes Experiences During Recordings (06:08 - 13:02)

Michael Cruz Kayne shares anecdotes from past recordings, including managing unexpected situations like loud interruptions and technical adjustments. Katie contributes by recalling moments of surprise and the dynamics of interacting with known faces in the audience.

Notable Quotes:

• Michael Cruz Kayne (09:00): "I've been to a urologist to get a vasectomy."
• Katie Nolan (10:43): "And that's my feeling. And I'm gonna. Here's what I'm gonna try."

5. Handling Live Audience Interruptions and Technical Glitches (13:02 - 19:00)

The conversation delves into the unpredictability of live recordings. They discuss instances where audience members become disengaged or cause disruptions, such as someone passing out during a somber segment. The guests emphasize the importance of maintaining composure and smoothly navigating these interruptions.

Notable Quotes:

• Unknown Speaker (18:31): "With that, you just got to keep going."
• Katie Nolan (19:34): "There are some parts of the show that are very sad, and I say it up top."

6. Britney Spears Anecdote: A Humorous Dive into Pop Culture (27:07 - 29:58)

A humorous exchange revolves around a misremembered or fictional anecdote involving Britney Spears. The guests attempt to recall details from a supposed event where Spears emerges from a sunroof, leading to a playful debate about the accuracy and existence of the story.

Notable Quotes:

• Pablo Torre (29:06): "They have to say Broadway production."
• Katie Nolan (29:14): "Looking for the Britney."

7. Spotlight on Comedian Alonzo Hamburger Jones (36:04 - 39:59)

The episode features a segment dedicated to comedian Alonzo Hamburger Jones, known for his repetitive use of the word "hamburger." Katie and Michael explore his comedic style, discussing how he substitutes profanity with "hamburger," creating a unique and family-friendly comedic persona.

Notable Quotes:

• Michael Cruz Kayne (36:04): "He says hamburger all the time in his set."
• Katie Nolan (39:06): "So every time he wants to say, he says hamburger."

8. Personal Stories and Reflections (40:00 - 44:05)

Katie shares a heartfelt moment about balancing serious topics within the podcast's comedic framework. She reflects on feedback regarding the show's handling of grief and the decision to maintain its original tone despite suggestions to incorporate more humor.

Notable Quotes:

• Katie Nolan (40:07): "It's not like you can go, like, wipe it off. So I just, like, let it sit there, and then it dried."
• Katie Nolan (41:34): "Why are you looking at us like we would ever eat any of that if it's not drugs?"

9. Closing Remarks and Final Anecdotes (44:00 - End)

The episode wraps up with light-hearted exchanges about personal habits and interactions, including Katie's sister's amusing encounter with Britney Spears and the guests' playful banter about their own quirks and experiences.

Notable Quotes:

• Pablo Torre (43:56): "This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out a Meadowlark Media production."
• Katie Nolan (44:05): "Does it ever smack you in the face?"

---

Key Takeaways

• Authenticity on Camera: Katie Nolan highlights the challenges of maintaining an authentic appearance without professional makeup support, emphasizing the personal responsibility it entails.
• Podcast Excellence: The recognition as a top podcast underscores the show's quality and its ability to resonate with audiences over time.
• Managing Live Show Dynamics: Navigating unexpected live interruptions showcases the hosts' ability to maintain composure and keep the show engaging.
• Comedic Innovation: Alonzo Hamburger Jones serves as an example of innovative comedy, substituting profanity with a quirky catchphrase to create a unique comedic identity.
• Balancing Humor and Seriousness: The episode underscores the delicate balance between handling serious topics like grief while maintaining the show's comedic essence.

Notable Moments with Timestamps

• [01:20] Katie Nolan: Discusses her struggle with on-camera appearance.
• [05:19] Katie Nolan: Reflects on the podcast's standing as a top 100 show.
• [27:07] Guests: Entertain a fictional or misremembered Britney Spears anecdote.
• [36:04] Michael Cruz Kayne: Introduces comedian Alonzo Hamburger Jones' unique style.
• [44:05] Katie Nolan: Shares a personal reflection on balancing show tones.

---

This episode of "Pablo Torre Finds Out" offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions, providing listeners with an engaging behind-the-scenes look at podcast production and the personalities involved. Whether navigating live show unpredictabilities or exploring unique comedic styles, Pablo, Katie, and Michael deliver an entertaining and thoughtful conversation.

Transcript

[Pablo Torre]

I'm Pablo Torre and this episode of Pablo Torre Finds out is brought to you by Remy Martin. 1738 Accord Royale. Exceptionally smooth cognac for all your game day festivities. Please drink responsibly because today we're going to find out what this sound is.

[Katie Nolan]

Hamburger.

[Pablo Torre]

Right after this ad.

[Unknown Speaker]

Right now at the Home Depot, you'll find storage solutions made to fit your needs. Grab an HDX tuff tote to protect your tools or keep your sports equipment contained with reinforced snap fit lids. Or stack up and make better use of your space with bins and totes. Built to last. Whatever your story, we've got the gear to keep it organized and protected at the Home Depot. How doers get more done.

[Pablo Torre]

Are you just hanging out with the crew? Just hanging out.

[Unknown Speaker]

Hey, what's up?

[Katie Nolan]

Something deep.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh yeah, you interrupted some heavy.

[Katie Nolan]

I was hoping it would be cold in here.

[Pablo Torre]

It's not.

[Unknown Speaker]

It's not. It's not hot.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, but I planned that it would be cold. So I brought like a little sweater. But I'm not ready to. It's. None of this matters. I'm just not ready to be full cropped tank top on camera yet.

[Pablo Torre]

Right, right.

[Katie Nolan]

So I brought a little sweater. Now I'm gonna sweat through it because it's not that cold in here. It's so hot outside.

[Pablo Torre]

For people who aren't in New York, I don't know if they appreciate the thickness.

[Katie Nolan]

You know what I never appreciated of the air as much as I should have, and I know that now? Hair and makeup departments, because those are gone here. And now I have to. Now I have to do it myself and then get on the subway and.

[Unknown Speaker]

Come here and sweat it off.

[Katie Nolan]

It's gone. It's. I look crazy now. I'm not dewy. I'm hot. It's so hot. And someone used to fix that for me. And I said thank you. I know I always did. But I should have given her a little kiss. That's how grateful I should have been. Because now it's all my responsibility.

[Unknown Speaker]

I could never make myself look better. There's nothing that. There's nothing that happens in the morning that I see that is wrong, that I have any aptitude to correct in any way.

[Katie Nolan]

And I'm stuck like this. I wish I didn't constantly have forced in my face how I could be improving my face. Because then on days where I'm like, I need to improve myself, let me go ahead and learn how to do. And then you show someone and they do their 17 step concealer. Routine. And you're like, I just wanted it to be.

[Unknown Speaker]

It's like this is what I did all this to, like, look at my natural look. And it's like 12,000 different layers of something.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. I just am bad at it. And I never had to be good at it. And suddenly I do and I'm older.

[Pablo Torre]

What is. What is the ideal level of moisture? Is it dewy? Is it.

[Katie Nolan]

I'd like to be soaking wet. I think the ideal level for me. Good job, both of you. They just made eye contact with each other.

[Unknown Speaker]

I'm leaving it.

[Katie Nolan]

I think I'd like to just be drenched.

[Unknown Speaker]

Isn't there like a glass. Isn't glass skin is a thing?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, glass skin. I believe that was. Origins of that are Korean skin care.

[Unknown Speaker]

Ah, of course, of course. Okay. Are you about to do a little TED Talk for us?

[Katie Nolan]

No, but I could is the point. And shouldn't I not have to?

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah. You know what? You're right.

[Katie Nolan]

Thank you.

[Unknown Speaker]

We're not gonna talk about this anymore. For women.

[Katie Nolan]

You guys, what were you talking about? Something serious.

[Pablo Torre]

Can we explain what we did? Because I feel like this is an important.

[Katie Nolan]

Why is this chair like this? Every time I come here, it's different. What's wrong?

[Unknown Speaker]

What's funny about that is before you got here, Pablo's chair was not. Was reclining too much.

[Katie Nolan]

That's right.

[Unknown Speaker]

Is that correct? And my chair was reclining hardly at all. And I was perfectly happy with it. Pablo went around goldilocksing all the chairs and. And I told him the chair that I was in was the most erect of all the chairs. So he made a big show of shuffling three card monty style all the chairs until he got the one he wanted. You are sitting in this room.

[Katie Nolan]

This is like the last lady to show up to the house. On the reality show. I get whatever bedroom is left.

[Unknown Speaker]

That's right. Wendy Wetface.

[Katie Nolan]

So the chair that nobody wanted, Wendy.

[Unknown Speaker]

Wet face, showed up 20 minutes late, and now she's. She's in the lay down chair instead of and Noah.

[Katie Nolan]

In none of these steps did anyone go, how do we fix the chair?

[Unknown Speaker]

I said to Pablo, there must be a way you guys are looking at.

[Katie Nolan]

Must be. And who it up in the first place. This isn't like you share this with that many people. What? Well, I can't be on my mark because then when I go to sit.

[Unknown Speaker]

I think this is. This is actually kind of. Your attitude is reflective of like the makeup thing too, where you're like, I should try and fix this. Whereas both of Us are like, it can't be done. I don't want to learn to fix.

[Katie Nolan]

Everything is what would you rather I sit? Try to sit straight up the whole time.

[Unknown Speaker]

Like, that's what I'm doing. I'm.

[Pablo Torre]

Wow.

[Unknown Speaker]

Wow.

[Katie Nolan]

I take it offensively.

[Pablo Torre]

We're being told the chair is the problem by Nadir behind the glass.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, I'll sit in the chair then. As intended. How's this? Is this audio good? We are one of the top 100 podcasts of all time.

[Unknown Speaker]

And I think it's because of stuff like this.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes. And as people pointed out last night to me, people forget that means not only all time back, it means all time in the future. So we are one of the best. And no one can, no matter what happens here today.

[Unknown Speaker]

Put out out by Time Magazines. Right.

[Katie Nolan]

Is that. It was Time Magazines.

[Unknown Speaker]

So if anyone has a concept of.

[Pablo Torre]

Like Time Magazine, Future Time Magazine, past Time Magazine, as well as present Time Magazine, Multiverse.

[Unknown Speaker]

Multiverse magazines. In all of them on every time these episodes. That's right.

[Katie Nolan]

Is what they wrote. Yeah, definitely description. Definitely that Katie Nolan.

[Pablo Torre]

They definitely did not throw shade at these episodes.

[Katie Nolan]

No, they didn't say, like, he. It's crazy how dumb he can be sometimes with his dumb friends. Two idiots show up sometimes and then be brilliant. We were equally dumb on something last night, but I can't remember what it was now to call you out.

[Pablo Torre]

We were. Oh, it was. It was. Is there. I remember what it was, actually. I don't know if I want to say it.

[Katie Nolan]

Don't say it because I don't think it's that. I'm thinking of something else.

[Pablo Torre]

It's not. Are there female urologists?

[Katie Nolan]

No, it might have been that.

[Pablo Torre]

Or are there urologists for women?

[Katie Nolan]

Right. Is urologists what you guys go to when we go to the gynecologist?

[Unknown Speaker]

I don't know. When you do you go to a.

[Katie Nolan]

Penis doctor every year?

[Unknown Speaker]

I do not go to a penis doctor every year.

[Katie Nolan]

You guys don't have to get your junk checked.

[Unknown Speaker]

I have been. I have been to a urologist.

[Katie Nolan]

Say an extra doctor. Boy, we are being robbed by the system.

[Pablo Torre]

Sometimes science is like, we just gotta check in with the greatest of all time. And so they do annually make me come in. But other than that.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, I mean, it's just amusing. I have been to a urologist to get a. Say it with me vasectomy.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Unknown Speaker]

But I haven't been to a urologist for any other reason.

[Katie Nolan]

Was it scary?

[Unknown Speaker]

Was. It was scary, but the actual thing itself was not it was. I didn't feel good. I didn't.

[Katie Nolan]

Like how I didn't think it felt good.

[Unknown Speaker]

And I was scared for it to happen.

[Katie Nolan]

Didn't know if, like, it was one of those things that you got really scared for. And then when it happened, you were like, it really wasn't that bad.

[Unknown Speaker]

I wasn't that scared for it until I was going there. And. And then you're like, well, everyone's saying all this stuff, but on your way there, you're like, they could fully. Like, you know, anything could happen. I'm basically. I'm paying someone to bring.

[Katie Nolan]

You could be.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

I could be sure that this is my Lasik.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Concern.

[Katie Nolan]

That's why I'm not doing it, because if they ask up, I'm screwed.

[Unknown Speaker]

They're doing Lasik, but on your penis, right? Yes.

[Katie Nolan]

And you don't really need that.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, exactly.

[Katie Nolan]

It's kind of what the ulcer is about.

[Unknown Speaker]

So you go. You go to the thing and they have, for no good reason, a hot woman. Do the. Do the.

[Katie Nolan]

Maybe you just had a hot one.

[Unknown Speaker]

No, I think it's everybody.

[Katie Nolan]

They legally, like Hooters, they go, this is what we hire.

[Unknown Speaker]

Hippocratic Oath.

[Pablo Torre]

Because they're like, this is why you're doing this. Like, you want to. Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

And so. And then they. They. They do it. They do it. You're awake when they do. I don't think you have to be awake, but I.

[Katie Nolan]

You chose it. Please. I'd like to watch.

[Unknown Speaker]

Actually, I didn't know until I spoke to another friend that I could have been asleep. That. That's like. So were you watching it? I was not watching it. That was. You're like that.

[Pablo Torre]

Give me the mirror. Give me the mirror.

[Katie Nolan]

How do they. They go in it. They go in through the front.

[Unknown Speaker]

They go. No, they. It's. It's all. It's all in the down. It's. It's. None of it.

[Katie Nolan]

None of it's happening in the tube and go, what? Oh, in the. In the.

[Pablo Torre]

What's happening down there?

[Katie Nolan]

I don't want to say the balls.

[Unknown Speaker]

It's happening someplace. It's happening someplace near the balls. It's happening around there, you know.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Unknown Speaker]

And there's. There's like a. There's a snipping and. Can you hold this? There's like that kind of thing, you know? Did I. I don't think so. No. The doctor and the. And the woman that she. He's like, you know, do this.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm sure she's also got a title.

[Pablo Torre]

The doctor and the lady.

[Katie Nolan]

The doctor and the lady.

[Unknown Speaker]

Just not the doctor. Whatever she is. I don't think she's a nurse. I don't think she was a nurse.

[Pablo Torre]

I think the answer to a very famous riddle is that the doctor is the mother.

[Unknown Speaker]

I think she's like, fuzz on here. I think she's like a penile assistant or something. I don't know what she is.

[Katie Nolan]

Definitely the doctor. I bet she's not.

[Unknown Speaker]

In fact, you're probably correct that she is a doctor.

[Katie Nolan]

She's not a penile assistant.

[Unknown Speaker]

So that's. And then you have it. And then it's not that it's uncomfortable for a little. For a while, but not that big a deal. I didn't think for me I would like. I walked out and went home and.

[Katie Nolan]

I wasn't like to drive yourself home.

[Unknown Speaker]

I took the subway home.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, okay.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah. And I had a. You know, some. A bag of frozen peas that I would put by my. Peas on your frozen peas? Come on.

[Katie Nolan]

That's right. That's right.

[Pablo Torre]

You were just walking around with frozen peas.

[Unknown Speaker]

Well, I was at home for the. I wasn't.

[Pablo Torre]

Post subway.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yes, that's right. When I got home, I had frozen peas at the ready, and then I put them onto my balls. And that's.

[Katie Nolan]

Stop.

[Unknown Speaker]

You start. You made me say it.

[Katie Nolan]

I didn't make you look at me.

[Pablo Torre]

That is how you pronounce it.

[Katie Nolan]

I didn't make you look at me.

[Unknown Speaker]

And then. And then that's what it was for however long I thought.

[Pablo Torre]

There is a female urology.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, so another doctor I'm supposed to be going to all the time.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

How about that button?

[Pablo Torre]

You should. You should get that checked out.

[Katie Nolan]

I think my. My euro. My euro.

[Unknown Speaker]

Wait, so there. Oh, there is a urologist. Women do also.

[Katie Nolan]

So it's just a specialist you get sent to. It's not your. You guys don't have a yearly check in. That's crazy.

[Pablo Torre]

A female urologist can be referred to as a urogynecologist or specifically be called.

[Unknown Speaker]

And that's like a gynecologist from Europe. Come on.

[Katie Nolan]

Right, right, right.

[Unknown Speaker]

She's got a funny accent.

[Katie Nolan]

What's the conversion? Right.

[Pablo Torre]

It's. When Manu Ginobile decided to import.

[Unknown Speaker]

I like this.

[Pablo Torre]

I like style. To urology.

[Katie Nolan]

They said whatever's happening with my chair is upsetting. I.

[Unknown Speaker]

You're doing a good job.

[Pablo Torre]

No, this is definitely a natural posture.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm having a hard time adjusting to the inability to sit back, but the need to sit up perfectly straight. The whole time.

[Unknown Speaker]

It's like doing it on a stool.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm having a hard time. And I was always told, you should speak. Speak up for your feelings.

[Unknown Speaker]

That's brave.

[Katie Nolan]

And that's my feeling. And I'm gonna. Here's what I'm gonna try. What if I sit forward on the chair like that? Is that okay?

[Unknown Speaker]

That's kind of what I'm doing. I'm kind of.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, sitting back there makes me want to lean back. And then I'm.

[Unknown Speaker]

If you cross a certain, like, Tropic of Whatever here, you're go.

[Katie Nolan]

You're all the way, right, Exactly.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, but I'm up.

[Katie Nolan]

You can cut this out. Here's the other thing. Sometimes I assume this all's getting cut out, and then I check back and then someone will write it in the comments. And I go, that's it. I didn't think that was the podcast. I thought that was us talking about the podcast.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, no. Why is it out there? Most of the podcast is this.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

And it's great. I'm having. I'm having time in my life. And so the viewer and listener.

[Katie Nolan]

And what were we to talk. What were we meant to talk about?

[Pablo Torre]

All your show.

[Unknown Speaker]

That's where we were there. We were there.

[Katie Nolan]

We were there. And then I took it. Is that my one water?

[Unknown Speaker]

It's not mine.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, it's mine.

[Unknown Speaker]

I'm ready. Okay. Weekend. Three, two, one. And the show. This show. I meant.

[Pablo Torre]

I. I want to establish that Katie and I had an outing. We showed up on a line. It was very long. We saw.

[Katie Nolan]

Long line. Way to big up everybody.

[Unknown Speaker]

You know, I do like. I do like that. There was a long line and you had to wait outside in like a thousand degrees.

[Katie Nolan]

Thousand degrees. And if you went up and you said, I might. I don't mean to imply I'm special, but I might be on, like, a friend and family. And they go, friend and family line right here.

[Pablo Torre]

And I see the inner circle. Friend and family one.

[Katie Nolan]

I was like, no, no, the next. Yeah, the next tier, I think, where we get to go inside the favorites.

[Pablo Torre]

Where is the favorites, you know, like.

[Katie Nolan]

Where his kids are. I think where that.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

They did come to me before the show with a list of all the people who were attending, and they were like. And I was like, I just don't have time to, like, to go through who everybody is, so I just wish you the best. And then I think they let my par in and my wife's parents in. They might have been like, all y' All.

[Pablo Torre]

And I was, like, holding up the Bill Belichick episodes.

[Katie Nolan]

And I was like, right, right, right.

[Unknown Speaker]

What about 100?

[Pablo Torre]

What about.

[Katie Nolan]

And I kept going. I don't know. Pablo Torre, but I bet you're gonna find out.

[Pablo Torre]

No one. No one.

[Katie Nolan]

Nothing.

[Unknown Speaker]

Nothing was found out.

[Katie Nolan]

Nobody cared at all. At all.

[Pablo Torre]

But the line for Michael Cruz, Kane's special, which taped.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

In New York City.

[Unknown Speaker]

That's right.

[Pablo Torre]

Amid the thickness of this air and.

[Unknown Speaker]

The hot, hot heat.

[Katie Nolan]

Pea soup.

[Pablo Torre]

It was a thing that I want to take people inside of, not from the perspective of, like, spoiling your show. Which is.

[Unknown Speaker]

Okay. Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

How would you want to. What should we say about the show without having to dive into the specific.

[Unknown Speaker]

Because we have already done. You have. You and I have done a full episode about this show.

[Pablo Torre]

So here's a setup. Michael came into the studio to do an episode about his show last year.

[Unknown Speaker]

Maybe something like that. A year ago. Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Katie had never seen it. And so part of my excitement was for Katie to get to experience it. But I also think there's a conversation around what it's actually like at a momentous sort of moment when you are needing to get this on tape for the world.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Because taping is special, as Katie also.

[Katie Nolan]

Has experience with a secondhand. Again, still, both times. Well, here and there. I've never taped a special.

[Pablo Torre]

Well, it doesn't mean you don't have experience. Yes.

[Katie Nolan]

No, I'm kidding with the process.

[Unknown Speaker]

I can see you. I can see you taping a special. Absolutely.

[Katie Nolan]

Everything I tape is special. I don't know which camera to look at. So I'm quickly looking between the two cameras.

[Unknown Speaker]

That's the one.

[Katie Nolan]

Split the difference, ensuring neither of them get a good shot. I think it's this one.

[Pablo Torre]

I want to establish that our emotional sort of like Valence was super amped for you.

[Unknown Speaker]

I felt that.

[Pablo Torre]

Did you. Screaming so, so, so briefly. Can you say what your show is about? And then we can. And then we can.

[Unknown Speaker]

You're doing just. Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. Isn't that weird?

[Unknown Speaker]

It's nice. It's very nice. I appreciate it. Yeah. But I mean, I feel like a good whoop.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

When someone's coming out to stay in my register.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

You know, it is. I think he's right. You got to be true to yourself. You can't step outside of your own.

[Pablo Torre]

I was actually saying to be noticed by me later on the re. Watch when it gets.

[Unknown Speaker]

You were shouting your own name really loud.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. Pablo heckled him during the show. It was crazy. I was like, this Is a tape.

[Pablo Torre]

It's me.

[Unknown Speaker]

There was one point.

[Katie Nolan]

I mean, I almost threw up at that moment. I was like, why is this happening?

[Unknown Speaker]

There was a moment also in the show where someone loudly shouted, what? Do you remember that?

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Unknown Speaker]

It was my sister.

[Katie Nolan]

I was gonna say it was perfect.

[Unknown Speaker]

And she has seen the show a thousand times.

[Katie Nolan]

That's crazy.

[Unknown Speaker]

A thousand times.

[Katie Nolan]

But it did play perfectly.

[Unknown Speaker]

Literally nuts for her to be like, wait, what? It's like, you. You know, I've talked to you to tell you this.

[Katie Nolan]

You've surely seen this before.

[Pablo Torre]

There was a moment outside, before we got inside, when someone who was not in line was like, what are you guys waiting for?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I'm socially awkward sometimes, okay. And I'm sitting with my friend Pablo. We're doing a podcast, no record. So it's just a hang.

[Pablo Torre]

We're just free podcast.

[Katie Nolan]

A third party. And there's no one to put a show on. Podcasting. We're talking to each other. It's going fine. And a woman's like, well, hey, what are you all in line for? And I went, a show. And that's it. That's all I said.

[Pablo Torre]

Daring. Daring them to follow a show.

[Katie Nolan]

Why did I say that? Why wasn't I like, oh, our friend Michael has this show. It's called. Instead, I just went, a show. And she went, okay, which show?

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, expectantly. And I went, for more info.

[Katie Nolan]

And I went.

[Pablo Torre]

And I. And I pointed at Pablo. I dove in front of Katie like a Secret Service agent in front of the President. And I was like, it's Michael Cruz Kane. He's a friend of ours. And it is a show about grief.

[Katie Nolan]

We're allowed to say.

[Unknown Speaker]

You can say that. They will. You're allowed to say that on the.

[Katie Nolan]

Is that, like, the subject? Don't we all know. I feel like you've got to know.

[Unknown Speaker]

People know.

[Katie Nolan]

Everyone has to know.

[Unknown Speaker]

Whoever. Whoever would want to know knows.

[Katie Nolan]

Have you ever given the little speech. Sorry to call it a little speech.

[Pablo Torre]

You ever give your little.

[Katie Nolan]

You're doing your little show. Have you ever done the thing where you say, like, if you. If you didn't realize this is what the show was, you can go now. Has anyone ever gone?

[Unknown Speaker]

No one has ever gone. But what I will say is that I've had people, like, especially early versions of the show, I had people straight fall asleep. So just like, just like someone close to the front, like, absolutely. I mean, not even into the show. I'm like, I've just started. I'm out there. I just get there. Sound asleep.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, that feels. That's more. At least you're not taking offense.

[Unknown Speaker]

I also had one time, and this is not really relevant to your question.

[Pablo Torre]

So that's just the general sleepiness. That's a narcolepsy on them.

[Katie Nolan]

The person could have a condition, but.

[Unknown Speaker]

It'S possible that I, like, come out and they're like, don't want this. Sound asleep.

[Pablo Torre]

And we're out.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah. Right away, I'm kind of getting a look. I'm tired from seeing him. And then also vaguely related to this one time, a guy farted so loud for a long time during, like, a part of the show. So the show is like, Scotty Scheffler, as we all know, the show is, you know, so funny. But also, like, there's. There's a lot of sad. And in the part where you're like, please don't fart. Now, if you could, there could be a part of the show where you'd be like, if you have to fart, fart before, after this part, don't. This dude is ripping it.

[Katie Nolan]

One long fart or a bunch of little farts.

[Unknown Speaker]

I mean, I didn't mean to sing that, but it is, like, it was a rhythmic, extended amount of ripping.

[Katie Nolan]

A lot of people do call that your guy down there.

[Pablo Torre]

What you're suggesting, though, is that he was trying to stop.

[Unknown Speaker]

He might have been.

[Katie Nolan]

The cheeks were closing, but the air couldn't be stopped.

[Unknown Speaker]

He was farting his third eye blindly.

[Katie Nolan]

That's right.

[Pablo Torre]

And so. And so what is your response, man.

[Unknown Speaker]

With that, you just got to keep going.

[Pablo Torre]

No acknowledgment, no acknowledge.

[Unknown Speaker]

Because I also don't know. You don't know who. How many people hear it in the room.

[Katie Nolan]

Right.

[Unknown Speaker]

You know what I mean? So then it's like, am I gonna. I'm gonna make this thing that's only happening to, like, six people and me happen to everybody in here. Especially in a time of the show where it's like, it's really gonna take us out of it.

[Katie Nolan]

Right. And they may be embarrassed, and this could be a whole thing.

[Pablo Torre]

How do I pivot from this?

[Katie Nolan]

You need to stay focused in instead.

[Unknown Speaker]

Instead of, like, drawing focus to this guy's ibs, I'm just gonna, like, keep.

[Katie Nolan]

On rocking because you look forward to the line where you have to go. Now back to thing that I had just said. That was heavy.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, I did have also one time a guy passed out in the show during us during a quite sad part, and we had to stop the show. We had to Stop the show and to leave the stage.

[Pablo Torre]

And you're responsible for that.

[Unknown Speaker]

And they had to call 911 and have, like, the guy go. Got an ambulance and went to the hospital.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown Speaker]

And I had to come out and be like, so how you guys do. And then just kind of pick right back up. But the audience was there for it and it went great.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

I think, honestly, some. When it's stuff like that that you absolutely can't control. For me, because I came up maybe doing improv, the chaos of it is actually kind of cool. I like it when some like it.

[Pablo Torre]

When people are actively dying in your audience.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yes. That's the goal. My goal is to murder one person at every show.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, he murdered. Oh.

[Pablo Torre]

When did you notice us?

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, God, I did not notice until. So there's a part of the show where I do, like, I want to.

[Pablo Torre]

Know what Michael can see from his vantage point.

[Unknown Speaker]

I do the very smallest amount of crowd work in the show. And I looked at the front row, and the front row was all. The front row was all people that I personally like who live down the street from me.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

You know what I mean? And I don't want to do crowd work with, like, people that I know it feels, like, not cool, of course, but I'm, like, looking down the row and every person is another person that I know.

[Katie Nolan]

They seated your friends and family in the front. It was a wild choice. I was like, why are we doing this? Put this in the back.

[Unknown Speaker]

And it's also like, I also, on the other hand, I can't take an hour to find someone that I don't know. So I'm just like, you. And I pointed right at you. And I was like, oh, I know him too. I also know him. So I didn't. I did not know until I pointed at you.

[Katie Nolan]

But it was perfect because he said, what's your name? And Pablo said, pablo. And I'm just looking at Pablo going, I'm so glad this is happening to you, not me. And then Michael goes, pablo, am I saying that right? Which was perfect.

[Pablo Torre]

Katie and I had the vantage point that was like, right up. It was like whatever angle the vasectomy doctor had on you, we had that.

[Unknown Speaker]

Absolutely. That's what the seats are called.

[Pablo Torre]

Middle, straight up from below.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, those are the urology seats right there. Yeah. I didn't know it was you until it. Until it was you. And then typically in the show, there are a couple other times where I refer back to the audience to ask them questions. And I usually Go back to that person. But he chose. But because I accidentally picked you, that's when I was like, I want to move around.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't want to. But the. Just the. This is probably cut out, but the moment with the girl that you asked the spontaneous question to and the way she panicked and was like, I don't know. And then you were like. And that's actually.

[Unknown Speaker]

So.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. That's actually. We love you.

[Pablo Torre]

There's a moment in the taping where.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't want to blow that. I don't want to blow the. That's like a nice moment in a taping. I don't think you should blow it. I. But I just. I wanted you to know.

[Pablo Torre]

So funny.

[Katie Nolan]

It was perfectly handled.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, God. Her brain was just like, I cannot.

[Unknown Speaker]

She absolutely short circuited.

[Katie Nolan]

I know. And I. And I can.

[Pablo Torre]

I just like, you literally ask her say anything.

[Katie Nolan]

Right?

[Pablo Torre]

She can't say anything.

[Katie Nolan]

It's Billy on the street for a dollar. Name a woman and they go like.

[Unknown Speaker]

It is that she. Absolutely. The whole system completely shut down for her. And bless her, she was there. She didn't know she was gonna have to do that. And she did her best, which was none. And that's okay. I love her.

[Katie Nolan]

Luckily, you didn't need anymore. You made up for you.

[Unknown Speaker]

I just wanted her to try. And she did. And she got absolutely not far at all. And that's the best she could do.

[Katie Nolan]

And that's okay. Sometimes that's the best you can do.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

What's the. What's the mental state? Are you a boxer before a fight? Are you. Before you go out on stage and all of this is. What are you. What. How. Katie and I were like deciding. Are we nervous for you? Are we thinking that this is.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, for me, I was there. So I did two tapings that day. Did have. When did the second. You guys are the second. Yeah, when. Like, when Dan recorded a special. You two in a day. So the first taping, everyone had told I'd never done the show twice in a day before. And I was like, I'm a little scared to do it twice in a day. I'd rather do it on two separate nights. And everyone who was involved with this, who has done these before was like, you definitely want to do it twice in a day. The second one is always going to be the one. So I did the first one. And the first one, the audience was just like, good. But I don't know what it was.

[Katie Nolan]

As good as us.

[Unknown Speaker]

It just was. It wasn't as good so the second.

[Pablo Torre]

They hadn't gotten lightly stoned in this very long line outside.

[Unknown Speaker]

Exactly.

[Katie Nolan]

At the very last minute, standing in line the whole time, just as the.

[Pablo Torre]

Cameras came out to tape the line. And they all laid this up.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, exactly. They weren't grateful to suddenly be in air conditioning as much as you guys were. And so between shows, I was very like, the second one's got to be it. You know, I mean, so there was a lot of, like, pressure.

[Pablo Torre]

Seven.

[Unknown Speaker]

Exactly. The first show, I felt like I personally was incredible, but for whatever reason, the crowd just wasn't like, as. I think people liked it as much, but they weren't as emotive. And part of that is also because at the first show, the guy who did the warm up, like, right before and my sister did it for the second show, and her energy is complete chaos. Like, you just don't know what she's gonna say at any time.

[Pablo Torre]

You replaced. You replaced the warmup.

[Unknown Speaker]

We did. We, we. We. Well, we just, like, you can go back to doing all the hundred other things you have to do, which he did have to do, and then my sister did instead, and I think she had also a better energy. And the whole thing just kind of. The. The crowd for that show was on fire. It was totally packed, except for the seats that they had to kill for the cameras. And the vibes were just really good. So immediately I. Immediately I was at ease a second out onto that stage.

[Pablo Torre]

Your sister's also kind of a pro. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

I mean, she's a. She's an actress. She's been in, like, you know, in Barbie and stuff. She's tremendous. Specifically doing that exact thing.

[Katie Nolan]

Barbie and stuff.

[Unknown Speaker]

Just Barbie and stuff.

[Pablo Torre]

The other guy was an Oppenheimer.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

So she's. She's incredible, but she's a little bit of a loose cannon, which is also what makes her perfect for that thing. Like, it's like I was.

[Katie Nolan]

I was told not to make any jokes.

[Unknown Speaker]

Exactly.

[Katie Nolan]

And then right. As soon as she did, she's like, I'm joking. I'm already joking.

[Unknown Speaker]

I'm already doing.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm doing jokes.

[Unknown Speaker]

And I knew that was gonna happen.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, but you need the crowd, though. The crowd is how the crowd is important, because at home, when the audience sees it, that's not in the room. You need them to hear it, to.

[Katie Nolan]

Tell them how to feel, basically. We also realized, because we were in the second row, that we were on the. At least one of the crowd reaction cameras you guys have. So I'm like, oh, Jesus, Christ.

[Unknown Speaker]

Pablo.

[Katie Nolan]

It was here and then as soon as it was right to our left. And as soon as. I know. As soon as I mentioned it to Pablo. The rest of the night, I kept seeing Pablo go like.

[Pablo Torre]

Just sucking in my cheekbones.

[Katie Nolan]

He was like. What's it called when you. What do they call that?

[Unknown Speaker]

Mewing.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, it is what they call it.

[Unknown Speaker]

My kids know about that. It's like, oh, man.

[Pablo Torre]

It's to make your technique involving the tongue of the mouth. I'm not jawline definition. That's right. Jaw maxing. I was jaw maxing.

[Unknown Speaker]

That you were jaw maxing.

[Katie Nolan]

Where he kept making his reactions and being like.

[Pablo Torre]

And then I saw the camera. There was a moment where the person I. I will throw this person under the largest bus available.

[Unknown Speaker]

Absolutely.

[Pablo Torre]

To my left, there is a person who was checking their phone.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

And there was a moment. Find this on tape. Where I am looking at her and then looking right into the camera. And looking at her again. And looking right into the camera.

[Katie Nolan]

Either I checked. I looked to be like, maybe I almost.

[Pablo Torre]

Almost gently elbow.

[Katie Nolan]

That's his friend or his family.

[Unknown Speaker]

It's probably one of my reps. Like, you know. You know how reps be.

[Katie Nolan]

You know how reps always.

[Unknown Speaker]

Reps are looking at stuff all the time.

[Katie Nolan]

They can't. Reps are. Adam Schefter. They cannot put their phones down, even on live tv. You have to let them have their phone.

[Unknown Speaker]

And I love reps. I love reps. My reps are great. And they're. They're always. They're scrolling, you know, because maybe they're getting that. So it could have been a rep. Yeah. Is what I'm saying.

[Katie Nolan]

It was a rep. I think it was just.

[Pablo Torre]

I don't think it was a rep.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm just a girl with a crush on you. That's a perfect Britney Spears. It was a perfect Britney Spears.

[Unknown Speaker]

I think I know which song that is.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't. I don't even remember what it's called. Probably Girl with a crush on you.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, wait, I know that.

[Katie Nolan]

Girl with a crush on you.

[Unknown Speaker]

Pretty good, actually.

[Katie Nolan]

It's not bad. It's not great.

[Pablo Torre]

It's in the words, can't make you love me.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, God, I haven't listened to it in so long. But what a jam.

[Unknown Speaker]

My wife Carrie is a crazy Britney Spears.

[Katie Nolan]

Britney Spears was the greatest. I didn't know that. And I love that.

[Unknown Speaker]

Let me tell you what level she is. She. One time, years ago, we went to see a friend in the musical Nine on Broadway. We were coming out And Britney Spears was out of the. The sunroof of like a Yukon Denali or one of these things on the street as the prophecy. She was just like. She was coming out of the thing just like dancing and you know, maybe she was a little feeling herself. My wife runs into traffic.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

Carrie in front of the car points up at Britney Spears and goes, britney, you're the. And Brittany is singing to my wife. There's a picture of it the next day, like in the post. We're gonna find my wife's cut out. Oh, it's just Britney. It's just Brittany in the car.

[Katie Nolan]

It's Britney who?

[Pablo Torre]

Damn.

[Katie Nolan]

When was this? The movie?

[Unknown Speaker]

Whenever the musical Nine was on Broadway. So we're talking like probably 2003 or something.

[Katie Nolan]

Where is this in her lore? Pre.

[Unknown Speaker]

This is before Britney had whatever. Whatever.

[Katie Nolan]

Whatever we did.

[Unknown Speaker]

Whatever word you would describe the. The. The whatever's happened. It's before that happened.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

Looking for the Britney.

[Katie Nolan]

Nobody did it like Britney. Nobody's doing it like Britney.

[Pablo Torre]

A lot of images for Britney Spears sunroof. So we're going to have to.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, you're probably going to find it if.

[Unknown Speaker]

If anyone can find it.

[Katie Nolan]

It's one of the top 100 podcasts of all.

[Pablo Torre]

Just like the number of photos of Britney Spears through a windshield. I'm never going to find this one.

[Katie Nolan]

Right. That's what I'm saying. When I say we did it. It's like they should be allowed to get in a car.

[Pablo Torre]

Like, is this a little co. You.

[Katie Nolan]

Think this without us all freaking out? I don't think so. I would guess. No.

[Pablo Torre]

What I found out today is that Britney Spears loves a sun.

[Katie Nolan]

Or that paparazzi can Is not afraid to stand in front of a moving vehicle to take a picture of Britney Spears at her.

[Unknown Speaker]

Is it R or roofs? Something to think about.

[Katie Nolan]

Roofs. I don't know why I said that.

[Unknown Speaker]

Wait, he's saying roofs.

[Katie Nolan]

It is. I know. That's why. I was just beating myself up for being wrong.

[Unknown Speaker]

Couldn't it be roofs?

[Pablo Torre]

I don't think so.

[Katie Nolan]

No.

[Pablo Torre]

No, I think that's. That's a thing you're gonna want to cut out of this episode.

[Katie Nolan]

Never fs. It's never never, is it?

[Unknown Speaker]

I don't know.

[Katie Nolan]

Wolves? No, wolves.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, you're right. Boofs.

[Katie Nolan]

What's a boof?

[Pablo Torre]

A boof has multiple meanings, primarily water kayaking, poofs. In slang, it can refer to anal sex.

[Unknown Speaker]

Come on, dude.

[Pablo Torre]

Or the rec. Administration of drugs.

[Katie Nolan]

Why are we here?

[Unknown Speaker]

1. But one of you said boof. That's. Oh, you said oh, because who did the. Brett Kavanaugh and now we're back into politics.

[Katie Nolan]

No, didn't.

[Unknown Speaker]

He wasn't there. Boofing. Wasn't that something?

[Pablo Torre]

Yes. Brett Kavanaugh's yearbook. Colon, the boof joke, comma, explained.

[Unknown Speaker]

There you go.

[Pablo Torre]

October 3rd, 2003.

[Unknown Speaker]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

Britney Spears cruising on 49th street, pops out of the sunroof to the surprise of a street full of tourists.

[Unknown Speaker]

Could be that. It could be that you're pretty good. It could be that guys weren't tourists. Yeah. Can you find out what theater the Broadway musical Nine was on?

[Pablo Torre]

Yes.

[Unknown Speaker]

Broadway musical was in and what street that was on nine. Trying to fix my prepositions.

[Pablo Torre]

Here we go.

[Katie Nolan]

They'll edit. They'll fix that.

[Pablo Torre]

2003 Broadway revival.

[Unknown Speaker]

Okay, this is probably it.

[Pablo Torre]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Nope. I clicked on the Wikipedia entry for the word revival.

[Katie Nolan]

They have to say Broadway production.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, I found out something great on Wikipedia today. That's too. So far.

[Katie Nolan]

Have you ever seen the clip of the little kid? Okay, show me talking about that.

[Unknown Speaker]

Show me 49th Street. Show me 40 West 49th.

[Pablo Torre]

This is why we do journalism. God damn.

[Unknown Speaker]

Shout out to my friend Elena, Elena Shadow, who was in the musical Nine.

[Katie Nolan]

Great name now great woman.

[Unknown Speaker]

Nine is not puppets. Nine is about. Is it Fellini? Maybe? Because you know how this eight and a half.

[Katie Nolan]

I thought it was puppets, so I don't think. Whatever. Next.

[Pablo Torre]

What is.

[Unknown Speaker]

There's a big one.

[Katie Nolan]

Maybe like a movie or something. That's the big one.

[Pablo Torre]

That's puppet Guido Contini, who is dreading his imminent 40th birthday and facing a midlife crisis. Oh, man. I'm dreading my imminent 40th birthday.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, my gosh. This is really kiss matching.

[Pablo Torre]

While I read this entry. Facing a midlife crisis.

[Katie Nolan]

Sure. What's the next line about?

[Pablo Torre]

Which is blocking his creative impulses. Check.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, no.

[Pablo Torre]

And entangling him in a web of romantic difficulties in early 1960s Venice.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, that's not you, then. Good. Thank God. At first I was like this, but.

[Pablo Torre]

He loves to podcast.

[Unknown Speaker]

What the.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my. Go, go.

[Pablo Torre]

Raul Julia. Yes.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Unknown Speaker]

A gifted man.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, man.

[Katie Nolan]

So we found that. That is the picture of her.

[Pablo Torre]

Definitely show it again. I mean, I'm telling a trucker hat post.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, trucker hat was right before I.

[Unknown Speaker]

Maybe it's right before then. Well, wait, can I say something that I found that I saw on Wikipedia today? Someone referenced to me the. Is that they're not even listening to me.

[Katie Nolan]

Is that the top of her head.

[Unknown Speaker]

Myself. I'm by myself.

[Katie Nolan]

Is that the top of her head?

[Pablo Torre]

Does this resemble the top of your wife's head?

[Unknown Speaker]

I mean, it's not impossible that it is.

[Katie Nolan]

I know.

[Unknown Speaker]

It really is not impossible that it is clearly.

[Pablo Torre]

Okay. For those not watching on YouTube, it's clearly a photo that is focusing on Britney Spears white trucker hat, hoodie thing, and in front of the windshield is the back of a blonde head of hair.

[Unknown Speaker]

It is very possible that.

[Katie Nolan]

That is very possible.

[Unknown Speaker]

You got to send me a link to that so I can.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I can. We have to consider when they found. When they exonerated that guy because he was at the Mets game or in the back of an episode of a Seinfeld or something like that. What is this? Maybe it was curb your Enthusiasm. Wasn't there a guy that telling me.

[Unknown Speaker]

The plot of an episode of television had his guy?

[Pablo Torre]

Are you racially profiling a genre of sitcom novel?

[Katie Nolan]

No, I'm saying a guy used as an alibi because he was at a baseball game the day that they were filming an episode of Curb youb Enthusiasm. And so on the camera, you see that he's there.

[Unknown Speaker]

This is a real life.

[Katie Nolan]

Got him off. Sorry, I was just making a thing that I thought everybody knew as a quick little punchline reference to that. Thought we'd all go, tee hee hee. It's just like that, Katie. And then we'd move on.

[Unknown Speaker]

I do not know. I do not know about that.

[Pablo Torre]

Photos.

[Katie Nolan]

They made a whole documentary about it and everything.

[Unknown Speaker]

Really?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

Oh, it's like. It's like a true crime situation.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, it was like a. It was a cool thing that happened.

[Unknown Speaker]

Okay, while you're doing this, I tell you something that I learned on Wikipedia today. And I could say every name wrong in this great. There is a television program or possibly a movie called Lancelot Link Secret Chimp.

[Katie Nolan]

What?

[Unknown Speaker]

And what it is. I learned a lot of cool things actually today. Lancelot Link Secret Chimp something. I think that might be the name of it. And it is.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, my God. It's a comma, not a colon.

[Unknown Speaker]

It's a. It's a video. Video of. The whole movie is chimps. It's footage of. It's footage of chimps, like in costumes. Yeah. And okay, no people so far.

[Pablo Torre]

I can tell you Katie is not seeing my computer screen. This is checking out.

[Unknown Speaker]

There are no people in it. Anyway, I was just like. So they. Someone showed to me. And then I was looking into, like, the voice actors, and one of them, I think is a woman. Named Joan, possibly Gerber, I think is the last name. And the only thing I want to say about her is that in her Wikipedia article, like, maybe the first sentence is, her most challenging role as a voice actor was playing the voice of a busload of Japanese students being attacked by Godzilla. Is that basically correct?

[Pablo Torre]

Her most challenging. This is Joan Gerber.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Her most challenging voice role was, quote, all the children in a Japanese train wreck. End quote. For a Godzilla television episode.

[Unknown Speaker]

All the children. Who do I play in this episode? Oh, you're all the children in the Japanese. Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

You're gonna need to be all that.

[Katie Nolan]

Count is like 20 credits, maybe.

[Unknown Speaker]

She's probably rich off that one. Whatever that is. That.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, my God. The residuals on being all of the Japanese children.

[Katie Nolan]

And don't forget, I was also Japanese student number five. Thank you. And then also number six, who played.

[Unknown Speaker]

Japanese student number nine. That wasn't. No way.

[Katie Nolan]

That's right.

[Unknown Speaker]

Okay, can I say one other thing I learned today?

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, please.

[Unknown Speaker]

Okay, I learned.

[Katie Nolan]

What else are we here for? Nothing.

[Unknown Speaker]

I learned about a comedian whose name I think is Alonzo Hamburger.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Unknown Speaker]

Do you guys know this guy? Well, I'll tell you, the big thing about Alonzo Hamburger is that he says hamburger a lot. He says hamburger all the time. He says it all the time in his set. He'll just. Instead of saying like. Instead of saying. Instead of saying like or whatever. Duh.

[Pablo Torre]

I mean, why?

[Unknown Speaker]

I'm not. Maybe he's so.

[Pablo Torre]

So here.

[Katie Nolan]

Here.

[Pablo Torre]

Here it. Oh, my God. Alonzo Hamburger Jones.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

Is an American writer and catchphrase comedian.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

Best known for his cowboy hat and frequent use of the word hamburger.

[Unknown Speaker]

I would say to me personally, only having learned about him this morning, I would say best known for his cowboy hat is an insane thing to include.

[Katie Nolan]

Wait. Yes.

[Unknown Speaker]

Start with wait. He says the word hamburger as if it's like, God damn. Or like, as if it's like crazy, like, you won't believe it. He just said he says hamburger all the time.

[Katie Nolan]

Did you watch video of his set?

[Unknown Speaker]

I watched his whole set from. I don't know if it might have been Comic View or like, Def Comedy Jam. Martin Lawrence was hosting it. I.

[Pablo Torre]

And De Comedy Jam, hbo, two television appearances.

[Unknown Speaker]

He comes out, does his set.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, man. I bet Dan would have something really funny to say here.

[Unknown Speaker]

I bet he would. But me, he really would.

[Katie Nolan]

Nothing. I mean, I got nothing for you.

[Unknown Speaker]

It is. It is so just purely delightful to me to watch Alonzo Hamburger.

[Pablo Torre]

And now let's enjoy some Alonzo Hamburger.

[Unknown Speaker]

Absolutely.

[Katie Nolan]

Please say Jones. You guys are skipping his last name.

[Pablo Torre]

I think we're getting the most important part.

[Unknown Speaker]

Look at this big joker here. Same dumb one standing in front of YMC talking about, oh, look, they done spelled Macy's wrong. Hamburger ain't gonna have it. Who else wanna play? Happy Halloween, baby. Now 30. Check out my man here. Rico Suave. Y' all looking good out here tonight. Ham burger. There we go. Hamburger. And then just moves on next thing. Does the word hamburger have anything to do with what's been happening?

[Katie Nolan]

No, but that's his way of going, like, let me tell you, that is what I have said.

[Unknown Speaker]

It's so much a part of his lexicon that sometimes he'll like, you know, he's like. He'll start a sentence like, hamburger. He was walking down the street like, you don't even get the whole hamburger. He does it and he does it in that set, I would guess he says the word hamburger.

[Pablo Torre]

It's like Howard intuit. People have many words for. I guess the opposite of that. It says if snow has many words, but it's just hamburger.

[Unknown Speaker]

It is the opposite. But yes, but exactly. I think he does say at some point. He says hamburger instead of swearing instead.

[Pablo Torre]

Okay, so hamburger. This is back to Wikipedia page. Hamburger tries not to use profanity. Like gentlemen of the Old West. Who does not?

[Katie Nolan]

Well, that's weird. Does that have to do you know.

[Unknown Speaker]

How in the Old west they don't always.

[Katie Nolan]

Does that have to do with anything?

[Pablo Torre]

Who don't swear in front of the ladies. Instead, comedian Alonzo Jones has substituted profanity with one word in all caps, Hamburger.

[Katie Nolan]

So every time he wants to say, he says hamburger.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, and he's like, boom, I got. Don't worry, I got a hamburger right here.

[Katie Nolan]

But I think if it got hamburger heavy, I feel. I fear I would be out on it. I actually liked it in that.

[Unknown Speaker]

You say that, but I'm just telling.

[Katie Nolan]

You, he uses it properly.

[Unknown Speaker]

You can actually absorb quite a lot of hamburger. More than you think.

[Katie Nolan]

You can see, actually what Jordan Peterson said, and he was wrong. He wasn't right.

[Unknown Speaker]

Alonzo Hamburger Jones. That's something we learned today. Are we at that part?

[Katie Nolan]

It's done already.

[Pablo Torre]

Possibly at that part, but I've also not checked the clock.

[Unknown Speaker]

I'm just checking. Let me check. Oh, it's midnight.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, no.

[Pablo Torre]

One of the things I loved when, when watching your show was looking at Katie just like literally side eyeing her as she was sobbing.

[Katie Nolan]

And here's the thing.

[Pablo Torre]

I crying legitimately.

[Katie Nolan]

It's not like you can go, like, wipe it off. So I just, like, let it sit there, and then it dried.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

So I just. Weaving like this. Yeah, Yeah. I was like, well, I'll just hop right on the subway.

[Unknown Speaker]

There are some parts of the show that are very sad, and I say it up top. So we just kind of. We just kind of do that. And one of the things that maybe I talked about this last time, but one of the things in, like, pitching it to places to put it on. Yeah, right. Was people coming back and being like. It's like there are parts of it that are too sad for us to think of this as a comedy. Would you think about, like, you know, maybe putting more jokes in those parts? And for me, I was like, I don't really want to, so we'll just wait. And then this other company came around, and they were like, we love it how it is, so we'll. We'll make it.

[Pablo Torre]

So part of what I didn't know, because I had seen the show again somewhere between a year and 10 years ago. I didn't know how different it would be, because last time I talked to you, you had some amount of frustration because this show is, for my money, conflicted as I am. It's so hamburger. Good.

[Unknown Speaker]

Thank you.

[Pablo Torre]

And. And I just hoped that it would be the version that I had seen. And that's what I was excited to show. Katie was like. Cause I was like, I didn't want to tell her too much. I didn't want to, like, you know, whatever. I didn't want to taint the jury pool.

[Katie Nolan]

But he did ask before we did any drugs. He said, now, this is a sad show. Would you like to do a little bit of drugs? I said, yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

That's very thoughtful.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, I do. I think I'm ready for it.

[Pablo Torre]

As her weed concierge, I think we nailed it.

[Katie Nolan]

Yep, totally.

[Pablo Torre]

While you were hopped up on caffeine.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, yeah.

[Unknown Speaker]

Was that real?

[Katie Nolan]

You really did.

[Unknown Speaker]

It was real. I was so tired after the first show, and I hadn't slept really well the night before, of course. So I took these. Gummy caffeine bolt, I think, is the name of the thing.

[Katie Nolan]

Why are you looking at us like we would ever eat any of that if it's not drugs? I mean, caffeine, I guess technically a drug.

[Pablo Torre]

Was it? Was it? You had a couple of pro bar bolts. Bolt shoes.

[Unknown Speaker]

That seems. That seems right.

[Katie Nolan]

Yikes. And where'd you get those at gas station?

[Unknown Speaker]

I got them at a bodega. I was like, at a bodega buying gum. And I was like, maybe there was.

[Pablo Torre]

A woman standing in a sunroof who was just. Yeah, in 2000, people.

[Katie Nolan]

Like a Red Bull rep in college.

[Pablo Torre]

Like, Donald Trump throwing toilet paper. He was throwing pro bar.

[Unknown Speaker]

So I just chowed. I just chowed down on him. And it really. It. It got me.

[Katie Nolan]

They hit you? Yeah. You did the classic edible thing where you take one and you go, not feeling this. So you take more and then you go, I'm feeling it now.

[Unknown Speaker]

I've seen a Pablo before. I don't know how much caffeine was in them. And it's possible that it's, like, a very small amount, but it's also possible that you're.

[Katie Nolan]

It was, like, more than you should have taken.

[Unknown Speaker]

Yeah, I'm a delicate baby. Like, any kind of medicine immediately has a heavy effect on me, no matter what amount I take. And so this, I think, was no different.

[Katie Nolan]

Can you.

[Pablo Torre]

Can you. Can you text or call Carrie and ask her if that's her head?

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, wow.

[Unknown Speaker]

She's at work.

[Katie Nolan]

You want to close the loop.

[Unknown Speaker]

I mean, there's absolutely no job's way.

[Katie Nolan]

Too important for you to make her do that. Can you also tell her that I love her? Can you tell her Katie says hello and that she loves.

[Pablo Torre]

That we loved.

[Unknown Speaker]

Okay, I'm going to. I'm going to text her. Wait, hang on. I'm gonna. I'm taking a picture of you guys. Yeah, I'm sending it to her.

[Katie Nolan]

I think I put my tongue out at a weird time, so I think the picture's gonna be me going like this, starting to put it out. This isn't a podcast. Is the thing this.

[Pablo Torre]

Time magazine disagrees. I just sent you a screenshot just to give the visual of what Carrie is doing probably right now in real life. So she is.

[Unknown Speaker]

She's probably helping a child coming out of a major surgery, and she's gonna look at her phone and she's gonna be like, I absolutely cannot believe that this is what I'm being texted.

[Katie Nolan]

Right.

[Pablo Torre]

Listen.

[Katie Nolan]

What?

[Unknown Speaker]

She's chill. She won't be like that. She'll just. She'll give her some credit. I'm going to have to answer this later.

[Katie Nolan]

Right?

[Unknown Speaker]

But it is go like the difference.

[Katie Nolan]

That was a crazy thing to text me.

[Unknown Speaker]

The difference between our two lives is stark that it's like she's doing something like that. She is a.

[Katie Nolan]

Does it ever smack you in the face?

[Unknown Speaker]

Do you ever go, like, smack me in the face? Every day. Hey, how was your day? And then I'll say, you know, whatever. Couldn't crack this joke about a Chinese dinosaur. And then she'll say what her day was. And it's like, I honestly wish I hadn't asked.

[Pablo Torre]

It's like, you're talking about the person who voices all the Japanese children in Iraq. And she is helping.

[Katie Nolan]

She's like, guess. You said, guess what I learned today. She goes, and guess what I learned.

[Unknown Speaker]

That she says she totally is. That is the pick that I was cut out of.

[Katie Nolan]

Ham Burger.

[Pablo Torre]

This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out a Meadowlark Media production. And I'll talk to you next time.