Share & Hamburger & Tell with Michael Cruz Kayne and Katie Nolan

Summary

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Pablo Torre Finds Out

Episode: Share & Hamburger & Tell with Michael Cruz Kayne and Katie Nolan
Date: August 12, 2025
Host: Pablo Torre
Guests: Michael Cruz Kayne, Katie Nolan

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Overview

In this lively episode, Pablo Torre hosts Emmy-winning comedian Michael Cruz Kayne and sports media personality Katie Nolan for a “Share & Tell” session that quickly spirals from banter about makeup and heatwaves to stories about medical procedures, taping comedy specials, and a deep dive into comedy’s strangest catchphrases. The trio’s chemistry is on full display as they oscillate between comedic storytelling, genuine emotion, and the sort of off-the-rails digressions that make PTFO a must-listen for fans of unscripted brilliance.

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Main Themes & Purpose

• Behind the Scenes of Comedy Taping: Reflections on the process, pressure, and chaos of taping Michael Cruz Kayne’s standup special in New York.
• Everyday Realities & Absurdities: From makeup and temperature struggles to chair malfunctions and subway rides post-surgery.
• Exploration of Grief and Humor: Discussion of Michael’s show about grief, how audiences react to heavy topics mixed with comedy, and how vulnerability connects performers and viewers.
• Joy in Comedic Oddities: A hilarious investigation into the world of Alonzo “Hamburger” Jones and why catchphrases like “hamburger” become iconic.
• Spontaneity & Friendship: The real essence of “Share & Tell”—hanging out, spontaneous stories, little lessons, and “you had to be there” moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Small Talk, Big Laughs: Weather, Makeup, and Chairs

• The episode opens with Katie Nolan lamenting New York’s heat and the absence of studio air conditioning ([01:00]).
• Katie hilariously thanks her former hair & makeup staff and reflects on how “I should have given her a little kiss, that's how grateful I should have been. Because now it's all my responsibility” ([01:16]).
• This spirals into a classic PTFO digression about uncomfortable chairs in the studio and the gendered pressures of “fixing yourself” vs. men’s indifference (“I could never make myself look better... I have no aptitude to correct it.” – Michael Cruz Kayne, [01:33]).

2. The Myth of the "Natural Look"

• Katie and Michael riff on the paradox of elaborate makeup routines meant to look “natural.”
• “This is what I did all this to like, look at my natural look. It's like 12,000 different layers of something.” – Michael Cruz Kayne ([01:59])
• Katie wishes she didn’t “constantly have forced in my face how I could be improving my face,” underscoring modern beauty pressures ([01:42]).

3. Medical Mayhem: Urologists, Vasectomies, and More

• The group debates whether there are female urologists and how gender shapes medical check-ups ([05:46]-[09:23]).
• Michael dissects his own vasectomy experience with comic detail:
  • “So you go to the thing, and they have, for no good reason, a hot woman do the examination.” ([07:07])
  • “There's a snipping and–Can you hold this?–there's like, that kind of thing...”
• Katie’s incredulous: “Another doctor I'm supposed to be going to all the time.”
• Pablo inserts: “A female urologist can be referred to as a urogynecologist…” and jokes about the “overseas style to urology” ([09:39]).

4. Behind Michael's Special: Long Lines, Taping Pressure, and Emotional Stakes

• Pablo and Katie recount waiting in a sweltering line for Michael’s taping, exploring tiers of VIP access—“I see the inner circle friend and family one. I was like, no, the next tier, I think, where we get to go inside.” ([11:23])
• Michael describes what it feels like to tape a special:
  • “The chaos of it is actually kind of cool. I like it when some—Like it when people are actively dying in your audience?” ([19:04])
  • Stories about audience members passing out, someone farting loudly during a sad moment, and a front row full of friends/family make for both heart and hilarity.
• Katie on participating as an audience member:
  • “Luckily, you didn't need any more, you made up for you. I just wanted her to try. And she did, and she got absolutely not far at all. And that's the best she could do.” ([21:56])

5. Candid Reactions & Stage Nerves

• Michael details the pressure to “get it on tape for the world”—doing two tapings in a day, the importance of crowd energy, and his sister’s chaotic warm-up energy that put the crowd at ease ([22:24]-[24:20]).
• Katie and Pablo joke about being on camera and feeling self-conscious:
  • “As soon as I mentioned it to Pablo, the rest of the night, I kept seeing Pablo go, like… just sucking in my cheekbones.” ([25:10])
  • “You know how reps be... They cannot put their phones down even on live TV.” – Katie Nolan ([26:08])

6. ”What Did I Learn Today?”—A Freewheeling Segment

• The group goes off on tangents about Britney Spears, sunroofs, and using crowd photos as legal evidence (“Didn’t they exonerate that guy cuz he was in the back of a Seinfeld episode?” – Katie Nolan, [32:48]).
• Michael shares a Wikipedia rabbit hole:
  • The show Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp and voice actor Joan Gerber’s “most challenging” credit: “All the children in a Japanese train wreck for a Godzilla television episode” ([34:42]).

7. The Alonzo “Hamburger” Jones Deep Dive

• Michael introduces Alonzo Hamburger Jones’s comedy, where the catchphrase “hamburger” subs in for profanity ([35:34]-[36:41]).
• Pablo summarizes Wikipedia: “Instead... has substituted profanity with one word in all caps. Hamburger.” ([38:27])
• Katie is skeptical but concedes “You can actually absorb quite a lot of hamburger. More than you think.” ([38:46])
• Michael: “Are we at that part? What did I learn today?” ([39:14])

8. The Power and Nuance of Comedy About Grief

• Pablo reflects on seeing Michael’s show and wanting to share it with Katie:
  • “I just hoped that it would be the version that I had seen. And that's what I was excited to show Katie.” ([40:43])
• Katie: “But he did ask before we did any drugs. He said, now, this is a sad show. Would you like to do a little bit of drugs? I said, yeah.” ([40:55])
• Michael talks about resisting outside pressure to “make it less sad” for networks ([39:49]-[40:20]).
• The group affirms how powerful it is to mix comedy and vulnerability.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Katie Nolan, on losing professional “glam squads”:
  “I should have given her a little kiss. That's how grateful I should have been. Because now it's all my responsibility.” ([01:16])
• Michael Cruz Kayne, reflecting on taping specials:
  “The chaos of it is actually kind of cool. I like it when some—Like it when people are actively dying in your audience?” ([19:04])
• Pablo Torre, joking about urology specialties:
  “A female urologist can be referred to as a urogynecologist or specifically be called—And that's like a gynecologist from Europe. Come on.” ([09:39])
• On crowd reactions:
  “Just sucking in my cheekbones... What do they call that? Mewing. Yes!” — Pablo, Katie, Michael ([25:10]-[25:18])
• Michael, introducing the Hamburger routine:
  “He says hamburger all the time. In his set. Instead of saying like... Instead of swearing. Hamburger.” ([35:34])
• Pablo, reading Wikipedia:
  “Instead, comedian Alonzo Jones has substituted profanity with one word in all caps. Hamburger.” ([38:27])

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Important Timestamps

• 00:17 – Michael delivers the episode's first “Hamburger.”
• 01:16 – Katie Nolan on the absence of professional makeup support post-ESPN.
• 05:46-09:23 – Extended riff on urologists, gender, and Michael’s vasectomy saga.
• 11:12 – Transition to discussion about attending and taping Michael’s special.
• 13:55 – Emotional hype for Michael’s special.
• 19:04 – Michael’s story about an audience member passing out during a sad part.
• 25:10-25:18 – The “mewing” and jawline-camera paranoia riff.
• 34:42-35:01 – Michael and Pablo on Joan Gerber’s “all the children in a Japanese train wreck” voice acting.
• 35:34-38:53 – The saga of Alonzo “Hamburger” Jones.
• 39:14 – Michael signals “What did I learn today?”
• 40:55 – Katie reveals she accepted Pablo’s weed-offer before the show.
• 44:15 – Playful, abrupt signoff.

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Tone & Takeaways

• Unscripted, Candid, and Playful: The episode is driven by the trio’s natural rapport, relentless teasing, and a willingness to veer off course for whatever’s funniest or most interesting.
• Vulnerability Meets Comedy: Whether discussing medical taboos, the awkwardness of support roles, or the emotional wallop of Michael’s “grief show,” every topic is treated with both honesty and humor.
• Meta Commentary: There’s frequent breaking of the fourth wall about what “counts” as podcast content, with Katie often unsure if a tangent will be cut—only to find out, “most of the podcast is this.”
• In-Jokes & Crowd Energy: The audience is implicitly part of the joke—be it as casualties of Michael’s “murderous” comedy, as reaction fodder for cameras, or in their delight at the absurd.

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For Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

Expect a sharp, unfiltered, and laugh-out-loud funny look into how comedians process real life (and each other), what it’s like to put legitimate heartbreak on stage, and why in the world someone would make “hamburger” the punchline of an entire career. This episode is as much about hanging out with friends as it is about finding meaning—or a punchline—in chaos.

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End of summary.

Transcript

[Pablo Torre]

I'm Pablo Torre. And this episode of Pablo Torre Finds out is brought to you by Remy Martin. 1738 Accord Royale. Exceptionally smooth cognac for all your game day festivities. Please drink responsibly because today we're going to find out what this sound is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Hamburger.

[Pablo Torre]

Right after this ad. Are you just hanging out with the crew? Just hanging out.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Hey, what's up?

[Katie Nolan]

Something deep.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, yeah. You interrupted some heavy.

[Katie Nolan]

I was hoping it would be cold in here.

[Pablo Torre]

It's not.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's not. It's not hot.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, but I planned that it would be cold. So I brought like a little sweater, but I'm not ready to. It's. None of this matters. I'm just not ready to be full cropped tank top on camera yet.

[Pablo Torre]

Right, right.

[Katie Nolan]

So I brought a little sweater. Now I'm going to sweat through it because it's not that cold in here. It's so hot outside.

[Pablo Torre]

For people who aren't in New York, I don't know if they appreciate the sickness.

[Katie Nolan]

You know what I never appreciated of the air as much as I should have. And I know that now? Hair and makeup departments, because those are gone here. And now I have to. Now I have to do it myself and then get on the subway and.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Come here and sweat it off.

[Katie Nolan]

It's. I look crazy now. I'm not dewy. I'm hot. It's so hot. And someone used to fix that for me. And I said thank you. I know I always did. But I should have given her a little kiss. That's how grateful I should have been. Because now it's all my responsibility.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I could never make myself look better. There's nothing that. There's nothing that happens in the morning that I see that is wrong, that I have any aptitude to correct in any way.

[Katie Nolan]

And I envy that. I wish I didn't constantly have forced in my face how I could be improving my face. Because then on days where I'm like, I need to improve myself, let me go ahead and learn how to do. And then you show someone and they do their 17 step concealer routine and you're like, I just wanted it to be.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's like, this is what I did all this to like, look at my natural look. It's like 12,000 different layers of something.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. I just am bad at it. And I never had to be good at it. And suddenly I do and I'm older.

[Pablo Torre]

What is. What is the ideal level of moisture? Is it dewy? Is it.

[Katie Nolan]

I'd like to be soaking wet. I think the ideal level for me. Good job, both of you. They just made eye contact with each other.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm leaving it.

[Katie Nolan]

I think I'd like to just be drenched.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Isn't there like a glass. Isn't glassier Glass skin.

[Katie Nolan]

I believe that was origins of that are Korean skin care.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Ah, of course, of course. Okay. Are you about to do a little TED Talk for us?

[Katie Nolan]

No, but I could is the point. And shouldn't I not have to?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, you know what? You're right.

[Katie Nolan]

Thank you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We're not gonna talk about this anymore. For women.

[Katie Nolan]

You guys, what were you talking about? Something serious.

[Pablo Torre]

Can we explain what we did? Because I feel like this is an important.

[Katie Nolan]

Why is this chair like this? Every time I come here? It's different. What's wrong?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What's funny about that is before you got here, Pablo's chair was not. Was reclining too much.

[Katie Nolan]

That's right.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Is that correct? And my chair was reclining hardly at all. And I was perfectly happy with it. Pablo went around Goldilocksing all the chairs and I told him the chair that I was in was the most erect of all the chairs. So he made a big show of shuffling three card monty style all the chairs until he got the one he wanted. You are sitting in a chair.

[Katie Nolan]

This is like the last lady to show up to the house on the reality show. I get whatever bedroom is left.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's right.

[Katie Nolan]

So the chair that nobody wanted, Wendy.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wet face, showed up 20 minutes late and now she's. She's in the lay down chair instead.

[Katie Nolan]

Of and Noah in none of these steps did anyone go, how do we fix the chair?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I said to Pablo, there must be a way.

[Pablo Torre]

You guys are looking at.

[Katie Nolan]

Must be. And who it up in the first place. This isn't like you share this with that many people. What? Well, I can't be on my mark because then when I go to sit.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think this is. This is actually kind of your attitude is reflective of like the makeup thing too, where you're like, I should try and fix this. Whereas both of us are like, it can't be done.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't want to learn to fix everything. Is what would you rather I sit? Try to sit straight up the whole time?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Like, that's what I'm doing. I'm. Wow. Wow.

[Katie Nolan]

I take it offensively.

[Pablo Torre]

We're being told the chair isn't the problem by Nadir behind the glass.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, I'll sit in the chair then, as intended. How's this? Is this audio good? We are one of the top 100 podcasts of all time.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And I think it's because of stuff like this.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes. And as people pointed out last night to me, people forget that means not only all time back, it means all time in the future. So we are one of the best. And no one can, no matter what happens here.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Put out by Time magazines, right?

[Katie Nolan]

Is that what it was? Time magazines.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So if anyone has a concept of.

[Pablo Torre]

Like, what you're saying, future Time magazine, Past Time Magazine, as well as present. Time magazine, Multiverse.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Multiverse magazines. In all of them, on every time, these episodes. That's right.

[Katie Nolan]

Is what they wrote. Yeah, definitely description. Definitely that Katie Nolan.

[Pablo Torre]

They definitely did not throw shade at these episodes.

[Katie Nolan]

No, they didn't say, like, he. It's crazy how dumb he can be sometimes with his dumb friends. The two idiots show up sometimes and then be brilliant. We were equally dumb on something last night. But I can't remember what it was now to call you out.

[Pablo Torre]

We were. Oh, it was. It was. Is there. I remember what it was, actually. I don't know if I want to say it.

[Katie Nolan]

Don't say it because I don't think it's that. I'm thinking of something else.

[Pablo Torre]

It's not. Are there female urologists?

[Katie Nolan]

No. It might have been that or are there urologists for women? Right. Is urologists what you guys go to when we go to the gynecologist?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I don't know. When you do you go to a.

[Katie Nolan]

Penis doctor every year?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I do not go to a penis doctor every year.

[Katie Nolan]

You guys don't have to get your junk checked.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I have been. I have been to a urgent, say, an extra doctor.

[Katie Nolan]

Boy, we are being robbed by the system.

[Pablo Torre]

Sometimes science is like, we just gotta check in with the greatest of all time. And so they do annually make me come in. But other than that, yeah, I think it's just amusing.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I have been to a urologist to get a. Say it with me. Vasectomy, okay? But I have not been to a urologist for any other reason.

[Katie Nolan]

Was it scary?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Was. It was scary, but the actual thing itself was not. It was. I mean, it didn't feel good.

[Katie Nolan]

I didn't like how I didn't think it felt good.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And I was scared for it to happen.

[Katie Nolan]

Didn't know if, like, it was one of those things that you got really scared for. And then when it happened, you were like, it really wasn't that bad.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I wasn't that scared for it until I was going there and. And then you're like, well, everyone's saying all this stuff, but on your Way there. You're like. They could fully. Like, you know, anything could happen. I'm basically. I'm paying someone to bre.

[Katie Nolan]

You could be.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

I could be tough. This is my Lasik.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Concern.

[Katie Nolan]

That's why I'm not doing it, because if they. I'm screwed.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

They're doing Lasik, but on your penis, right? Yes.

[Katie Nolan]

And you don't really need that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, exactly.

[Katie Nolan]

It's kind of what the whole surgery is about.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So you go. You go to the thing, and they have, for no good reason, a hot woman. Do the. Do the examination.

[Katie Nolan]

Maybe you just had a hot one.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No, I think it's everybody.

[Katie Nolan]

They legally. Like Hooters. They go. This is what we hire.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The Hippocratic oath.

[Pablo Torre]

Because they're like, this is why you're doing this. Like you want to. Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And so. And then they. They. They do it. They do it. You're awake when they do. I don't think you have to be awake, but I.

[Katie Nolan]

You chose. I'd like to watch, actually.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I didn't know until I spoke to another friend that I could have been asleep. That. That's like. So were you watching it? I was not watching it. That was. You're like, give me.

[Katie Nolan]

Careful, careful. I like that part.

[Pablo Torre]

Give me the mirror. Give me the mirror.

[Katie Nolan]

How do they. They go in it. They go in through the front.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

They go. No, they. It's. It's all. It's all in the down. It's. It's. None of it.

[Pablo Torre]

None of it's happening in the tomb and go.

[Katie Nolan]

What? Oh, in the. In the. I don't want to say the balls.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's happening someplace. It's happening someplace near the balls. It's happening around there, you know?

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, sure.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And there's. There's like a. There's a snipping and. Can you hold this? There's like, that kind of thing, you know.

[Pablo Torre]

You had to hold it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Did I? I don't think so. No. The doctor and the. And the woman that she. He's like, you know, do this.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm sure she's also got a title.

[Pablo Torre]

The Doctor and the Doctor and the Lady.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Or is she just not the doctor? Whatever she is. I don't think she's a nurse. I don't think she was a nurse.

[Pablo Torre]

I think the answer to a very famous riddle is that the doctor is the mother.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think she's like.

[Katie Nolan]

That's right.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think she's like a penile assistant or something. I don't know.

[Katie Nolan]

I bet she's not.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

In fact, you're probably correct that she's.

[Katie Nolan]

Not a penile assistant.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So that's that. And then you. You have it. And then it's not that it's uncomfortable for a little. For a while, but not that big a deal. I didn't think for me I would like. I walked out and went home and I wasn't like.

[Katie Nolan]

To drive yourself home.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I took the subway home.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. And I had a. You know, some. A bag of frozen peas that I would put by my. Peas on your frozen peas? Come on. That's right.

[Pablo Torre]

You were just walking around with frozen peas.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Well, I was at home for the.

[Pablo Torre]

I was post. Subway.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes, that's right. When I got home for. I had frozen peas at the ready. And then I put them onto my balls. And that's.

[Katie Nolan]

Stop.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You start. You made me say it.

[Katie Nolan]

I didn't make you look at me.

[Pablo Torre]

That is how you pronounce it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And then that's what it was for however long.

[Pablo Torre]

Not that there is a female urology.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, so another doctor I'm supposed to be going to all the time.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

How about that button?

[Pablo Torre]

You should. You should get that checked out.

[Katie Nolan]

I think my. My euro. My euro.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wait, so there. Oh, there is a urologist. Women do also.

[Katie Nolan]

So it's just a specialist you get sent to. It's not your. You guys don't have a yearly check in. That's crazy.

[Pablo Torre]

A female urologist can be referred to as a urogynecologist or specifically be called.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And that's like a gynecologist from Europe. Come on.

[Katie Nolan]

Right, right, right.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

She's got a funny accent.

[Katie Nolan]

What's the conversion? Right.

[Pablo Torre]

It's when Manu Ginobile decided to import.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I like this. I like this.

[Pablo Torre]

The overseas style to urology.

[Katie Nolan]

They said whatever's happening with my chair is upsetting. I.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You're doing a good job.

[Pablo Torre]

No, this is definitely a natural posture.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm having a hard time adjusting to the inability to sit back, but the need to sit up perfectly straight the.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Whole time, it's like doing it on a stool.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm having a hard time. And I was always told, you should speak. Speak up for your feelings.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's brave.

[Katie Nolan]

And that's my feeling. And I'm gonna. Here's what I'm gonna try. What if I sit forward on the chair like that? Is that okay?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's kind of what I'm doing. I'm kind of.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm kind of sitting back there. Makes me want to lean back. And then I'm.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

If you cross a certain. Like Tropic of Whatever. Here you're go. You're all the way.

[Katie Nolan]

Right? Exactly.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, but I'm up.

[Katie Nolan]

You can cut this out. Here's the other thing. Sometimes I assume this all's getting cut out, and then I check back and then someone will write it in the comments. And I go, that's it. I didn't think that was the podcast. I thought that was us talking about the podcast.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, no, this is. Most of the podcast is this.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And it's great. I'm having. I'm having time in my life. And so are you the viewer and listener.

[Katie Nolan]

And what were we to talk. What were we meant to talk about?

[Pablo Torre]

All.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, your show.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's. We were there. We were there.

[Katie Nolan]

We were there. And then I took it. Is that my water?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's not mine.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, it's mine.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm ready. Okay, Weekend. Three, two, one. And the show. This show. I meant.

[Pablo Torre]

I. I want to establish that Katie and I had an outing. We showed up on a line, was very long. We saw.

[Katie Nolan]

Long line. Way to big up everybody.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You know, I do like. I do like that there was a long line and you had to wait outside in like a thousand degrees.

[Katie Nolan]

Thousand degrees. And if you went up and you said, I might. I don't mean to imply I'm special, but I might be on, like a friend and family. And they go, friend and family line right here.

[Pablo Torre]

And I see the inner circle friend and family one.

[Katie Nolan]

I was like, no, no, the. Yeah, the next tier, I think, where we get to go inside.

[Pablo Torre]

Favorites. Where is the favorites?

[Katie Nolan]

You know, like where his kids are, I think where that.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

They did come to me before the show with a list of all the people who were attending, and they were like. And I was like, I just don't have time to, like, to go through who everybody is. So I just wish you the best. And then I think they let my par Good in and my wife's parents in, and they might have been like, all y'. All.

[Pablo Torre]

And I was like, holding up the Bill Belichick episodes.

[Katie Nolan]

And I was like, right, right, right.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What about 100?

[Pablo Torre]

What about.

[Katie Nolan]

And I kept going. I don't know Pablo Torre, but I bet you're gonna find out.

[Pablo Torre]

No one. No one.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nothing Very Nothing was found out.

[Katie Nolan]

Nobody cared very at all. Response at all.

[Pablo Torre]

But the. The line for Michael Cruz, Kane's special, which taped.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

In New York City.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's right.

[Pablo Torre]

Amid the thickness of this air and.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The hot, hot heat.

[Katie Nolan]

Pea soup.

[Pablo Torre]

It was a thing that I want to take people Inside of. Not from the perspective of, like, spoiling your show. Which is. How would you want to. What should we say about the show without having to dive into the specific.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Because we have already done. You have. You and I have done a full episode about this show.

[Pablo Torre]

So here's the setup. Michael came into the studio to do an episode about his show last year.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Maybe something like that. A year ago. Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Katie had never seen it. And so part of my excitement was for Katie to get to experience it. But I also think there's a conversation around what it's actually like at a momentous sort of moment when you are needing to get this on tape for the world.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Because taping is special, as Katie also.

[Katie Nolan]

Has experience with a secondhand. Again, still, both times. Well, here and there. I've never taped a special.

[Pablo Torre]

Well, it doesn't mean you don't have experience.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

No, I'm kidding with the process.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I can see you. I can see you taping a special.

[Katie Nolan]

Absolutely everything I tape is special. I don't know which camera to look at. So I'm quickly looking between the two cameras.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's the one.

[Katie Nolan]

Split the difference, ensuring neither of them get a good shot. I think it's this one.

[Pablo Torre]

I want to establish that our emotional sort of like valence was super amped for you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I felt that. Did you.

[Katie Nolan]

Screaming.

[Pablo Torre]

So, so, so briefly. Can you say what your show is about? And then we can.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And then we're doing just. Yeah, yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Isn't that weird?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's nice. It's very nice. I appreciate it. Yeah. But I mean, I feel like a good whoop.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. When someone's coming out.

[Pablo Torre]

To stay in my register.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You know what it is? I think he's right. You got to be true to yourself. You can't step outside of your own.

[Pablo Torre]

I was actually saying to be noticed by me later on the re. Watch when it gets.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You were shouting your own name really loud.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. Pablo heckled him during the show. It was crazy. I was like, this is a tape.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's me. There was one point.

[Katie Nolan]

I mean, I almost threw up at that moment. I was like, why is this happening?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

There was a moment also in the show where someone loudly shouted. What? Do you remember that? Yes, it was. But it was my sister.

[Katie Nolan]

I was gonna say it was perfect.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And she has seen the show a thousand times.

[Katie Nolan]

That's crazy.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

A thousand times.

[Katie Nolan]

But it did play.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Literally nuts for her to be like, wait, what? It's like, you. You know, I've talked to you.

[Katie Nolan]

I had to tell you this. You've surely seen this before.

[Pablo Torre]

There was a moment outside before we got inside when someone who was not in line was like, what are you guys waiting for?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I'm socially awkward sometimes. Okay. And I'm sitting with my friend Pablo. We're doing a podcast, no record. So it's just a hang.

[Pablo Torre]

We're just.

[Katie Nolan]

A third party, and there's no one to put a show on. We're talking to each other, it's going fine. And a woman's like, well, hey, what are you all in line for? And I went, a show. And that's it. That's all I said.

[Pablo Torre]

Daring. Daring them to follow a show.

[Katie Nolan]

Why did I say that? Why wasn't I like, oh, our friend Michael has this show. It's called. Instead, I just went, a show. And she went, okay, which show?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, expectantly. And I went, for more info.

[Katie Nolan]

And I went.

[Pablo Torre]

And I. And I.

[Katie Nolan]

And I pointed at Pablo.

[Pablo Torre]

I dove in front of Katie like a Secret Service agent in front of the President. And I was like, it's Michael Cruz Kane. He's a friend of ours. And it is a show about grief.

[Katie Nolan]

We're allowed to say.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You can say that. They will. You're allowed to say that on the.

[Katie Nolan]

Isn't that, like, the subject? Don't we all know. I feel like you gotta know.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

People know.

[Katie Nolan]

Everyone has to.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Whoever. Whoever would want to know knows.

[Katie Nolan]

Have you ever given the little speech. Sorry to call it a little speech.

[Pablo Torre]

You ever give your little speech doing your little show?

[Katie Nolan]

Have you ever done the thing where you say, like, if you. If you didn't realize this is what the show was, you can go now? Has anyone ever gone?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No one has ever gone. But what I will say is that I've had people, like, especially early versions of the show, I had people straight fall asleep. So just like, just like someone close to the front, like, absolutely. I mean, not even. Not even into the show. I'm like, I've just started. I'm out there. I just get there sound asleep.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, that feels.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's more.

[Katie Nolan]

At least you're not taking offense.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I also had one time, and this is not really relevant to your question.

[Pablo Torre]

That's just the general sleepiness. That's a narcolepsy on their problem.

[Katie Nolan]

Could have a condition, but it's possible.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That I, like, come out and they're like, don't want this. Sound asleep.

[Pablo Torre]

And we're out.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. Right away. I'm kind of getting a look. I'm tired from seeing him. And then also vaguely related to this one time A guy farted so loud for a long time during, like, a part of the show. So the show is like, Scotty Scheffler, as we all know, the show is, you know, so funny, but also, like, there's. There's a lot of sad. And in the part where you're like, please don't fart. Now, if you could. If there could be a part of the show where you'd be like, if you have to fart, fart before, after this part, this dude is ripping it.

[Katie Nolan]

One long fart or a bunch of little farts.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I mean, I didn't mean to sing that, but it is, like, it was a rhythmic, extended amount of rhythm.

[Katie Nolan]

A lot of people do call that your.

[Pablo Torre]

What you're suggesting, though, is that he was trying to stop.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

He might have been if the cheeks.

[Katie Nolan]

Were closing, but the air couldn't be stopped.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

He was farting his third eye blindly.

[Katie Nolan]

That's right.

[Pablo Torre]

And so. And so what is your response, man.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

With that, you just got to keep going. No acknowledgment, no acknowledgement, because I also don't know. You don't know who. How many people hear it in the room.

[Katie Nolan]

Right.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You know what I mean? So then it's like, am I gonna. I'm gonna make this thing that's only happening to, like, six people and me happen to everybody in here. Especially in a time of the show where it's like, it's really gonna take us out of it.

[Katie Nolan]

Right. And they may be embarrassed, and this could be a whole thing.

[Pablo Torre]

How do I pivot from this?

[Katie Nolan]

You need to stay focused in instead.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Instead of, like, drawing focus to this guy's ibs, I'm just gonna, like, keep on rocking.

[Katie Nolan]

Because you look forward to the line where you have to go now back to thing that I had just said. That was heavy.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, I did have also one time a guy passed out in the show during us during a quite sad part, and we had to stop the show. We had to stop the show and to leave the stage, and you're responsible for that. And they had to call 911 and have, like, the guy go got an ambulance and went to the hospital.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And I had to come out and be like, so how you guys do. And then just kind of pick right back up. But the audience was there for it, and it went great.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think, honestly, some. When it's stuff like that that you absolutely can't control. For me, because I came up maybe doing improv, the chaos of it is actually kind of cool. I Like it when some.

[Pablo Torre]

Like it when people are actively dying in your audience?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes. That's the goal. My goal is to murder one person at every show.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, he murdered.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh.

[Pablo Torre]

When did you notice us?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, God, I did not notice until. So there's a part of the show where I do, like, I want to.

[Pablo Torre]

Know what Michael can see from his vantage point.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I do the very smallest amount of crowd work in the show. And I looked at the front row, and the front row was all. The front row was all people that I personally like who live down the street from me.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Know what I mean? And I don't want to do crowd work with, like, people that I know it feels, like, not cool, but I'm, like, looking down the row and every person is another person that I know.

[Katie Nolan]

They seated your friends and family in the front. It was a wild choice. I was like, why are we doing this? Put this in the back.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And it's also like, I also. On the other hand, I can't take an hour to find someone that I don't know. So I'm just like, you. And I pointed right at you. And I was like, oh, I know him too. I also know him. So I didn't. I did not know until I pointed at you.

[Katie Nolan]

But it was perfect because he said, what's your name? And Pablo said, pablo. And I'm just looking at Pablo going, I'm so glad this is happening to you, not me. And then Michael goes, pablo, am I saying that right? Which was perfect.

[Pablo Torre]

Katie and I had the vantage point that was, like, right up. It was like whatever angle the vasectomy doctor had on you, we had that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Absolutely. That's what the seats are called.

[Pablo Torre]

Middle, straight up from below.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, those are the urology seats right there. Yeah. I didn't know it was you until it. Until it was you. And then typically in the show, there are a couple other times where I refer back to the audience to ask them questions, and I usually go back to that person, but he chose. But because I accidentally picked you, that's when I was like, I don't want to.

[Katie Nolan]

But the. Just the. This is probably cut out. But the moment with the girl that you asked the spontaneous question to and the way she panicked and was like, I don't know. And then you were like. And that's actually.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. That's actually. We love you.

[Pablo Torre]

There's a moment in the taping where.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't want to blow that. I don't want to blow the. That's like a nice moment in a Taping. I don't think you should blow it. I. But I just. I wanted you to know.

[Pablo Torre]

So funny. It was perfectly handled. Oh, God. Her brain was just like, I cannot.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

She absolutely short circuited.

[Katie Nolan]

I know. And I. And I can just like, you literally.

[Pablo Torre]

Ask her, say anything, right? She can't say anything.

[Katie Nolan]

It's Billy on the street for a dollar.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Name a woman.

[Katie Nolan]

And they go like, God.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It is that she. Absolutely. The whole system completely shut down for her. And bless her, she was there. She didn't know she was gonna have to do that. And she did her best, which was none. And that's okay. I love her.

[Katie Nolan]

Luckily, you didn't need anymore you. You made up for you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I just wanted her to try. And she did, and she got absolutely not far at all. And that's the best she could do.

[Katie Nolan]

And that's okay. Sometimes that's the best you can do.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

What's the. What's the mental state? Are you a boxer before a fight? Are you. Before you go out on stage and all of this is. What are you. What. How. Katie and I were like, deciding, are we nervous for you? Are we thinking that this is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, for me, I was there. So I did two tapings that day. Did have. When are you.

[Katie Nolan]

The second.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You guys are the second? Yeah, when, like, when Dan recorded a special, you did two in a day. So the first taping, everyone had told I'd never done the show twice in a day before. And I was like, I'm a little scared to do it twice in a day. I'd rather do it on two separate nights. And everyone who was involved with this, who has done these before was like, you definitely want to do it twice in a day. The second one is always going to be the one. So I did the first one. And the first one, the audience was just like, good. But I don't know what it was good as us. It just was. It wasn't as good. So the second.

[Pablo Torre]

They hadn't gotten lightly stoned in this very long line outside.

[Katie Nolan]

Exactly at the very last minute. We were sitting in line the whole time.

[Pablo Torre]

Just as the cameras came out to tape the line of the old.

[Katie Nolan]

Light this up.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, exactly. They weren't grateful to suddenly be in air conditioning as much as you guys were. And so between shows, I was very like, the second one's got to be it. You know, I mean, so there was a lot of, like, pressure.

[Pablo Torre]

Like the seven exact.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The first show, I felt like I personally was incredible, but for whatever reason, the crowd just wasn't like as. I think people liked it as much, but they weren't as emotive. And part of that is also because at the first show, the guy who did the warm up, like, right before and my sister did it for the second show, and her energy is complete chaos. Like, you just don't know what she's going to say at any time.

[Pablo Torre]

You replaced, you replaced the warmup.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

We did. We, we, we. Well, we just, like you can go back to doing all the hundred other things you have to do, which he did have to do, and then my sister did instead. And I think she had also a better energy and the whole thing just kind of the. The crowd for that show was on fire. It was totally packed, except for, like the seats that they had to kill for the cameras. And the vibes were just really good. So immediately I. Immediately I was at ease a second out onto that stage.

[Pablo Torre]

Your sister's also kind of a pro. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I mean, she's a. She's an actress. She's been in like, you know, in Barbie and stuff. She's tremendous. Specifically doing that exact thing.

[Katie Nolan]

Barbie and stuff.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Just Barbie and stuff.

[Pablo Torre]

The other guy was an opposite giant.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah. So she's. She's incredible, but she's a little bit of a loose cannon, which is also what makes her perfect for that thing. Like, it's like she kept.

[Katie Nolan]

I was told not to make any jokes.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Exactly.

[Katie Nolan]

And then right. As soon as she did, she's like, I'm joking. I'm already joking. I'm doing jokes.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And I knew that was gonna happen.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, but you need the crowd, though. The crowd is how the crowd is important. Because at home, when the audience sees it, that's not in the room. You need them to hear it, to.

[Katie Nolan]

Tell them how to feel, basically. We also realized because we were in the second row, that we were on the. At least one of the crowd reaction cameras you guys have. So I'm like, Jesus Christ, Pablo.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It was. It was here.

[Katie Nolan]

And then as soon as it was right to our left. And as soon as. I know. As soon as I mentioned it to Pablo, the rest of the night, I kept seeing Pablo go, like.

[Pablo Torre]

Just sucking in my cheekbones.

[Katie Nolan]

He was like, what's it called when you. What do they call that?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Mewing.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, they call it.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

My kids know about. It's like, oh, man.

[Pablo Torre]

It's to make your technique involving RUF of the mouth. I'm not jawline definition. That's right. Jaw maxing. I was jaw maxing that you were jaw maxing.

[Katie Nolan]

He kept making his reactions and being like.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And then I.

[Pablo Torre]

There was a moment where the person. I. I will throw this person under the largest bus available.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Absolutely.

[Pablo Torre]

To my left, there is a person who was checking their phone.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

And there was a moment. Find this on tape. Where I am looking at her and then looking right into the camera. And looking at her again. And looking right into the camera.

[Katie Nolan]

Jim Helper either. I checked. I looked to be like maybe.

[Pablo Torre]

I almost.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I almost.

[Pablo Torre]

I gently elbow.

[Katie Nolan]

That's his friend or his family.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's probably one of my reps. Like, you know. You know how reps be.

[Katie Nolan]

You know how reps. Reps always.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Reps are looking at stuff all the time.

[Katie Nolan]

They can't. Reps are Adam Schefter. They cannot put their phones down even on live tv. You have to let them have their phone.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And I love reps because they're. I love reps. My reps are great. And they're. They're always. They're scrolling, you know, because maybe they're getting that. So it could have been a rep. Yeah. Is what I'm saying.

[Pablo Torre]

I don't think it was a.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm just a girl with a crush on you. That was a perfect Britney Spears. It was a perfect Britney Spears.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I think I know which song that is.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't. I don't even remember what it's called. Probably Girl with a crush on you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, wait, I know that.

[Katie Nolan]

Girl with a crush on you.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Pretty good, actually.

[Katie Nolan]

It's not bad. It's not great.

[Pablo Torre]

It's in the words, can't make you love me.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, God. I haven't listened to it in so long. But what a jam.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

My wife Carrie is a crazy.

[Katie Nolan]

Britney Spears was the greatest. I didn't know that. And I love that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Let me tell you what level she is.

[Katie Nolan]

She.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

One time, years ago, we went to see a friend in the musical Nine on Broadway. We were coming out and Britney Spears was out of the. The sunroof of, like, a Yukon Denali or one of these things on the street, as the prophecy foretold. She was just like. She was coming out of the thing just like dancing and, you know, maybe she was a little feeling herself. My wife runs into traffic.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Carrie in front of the car, points up at Britney Spears and goes, britney, you're the. And Brittany is singing to my wife. There's a picture of it the next day, like in the post. We're gonna find my wife's cut out. Oh, it's just Britney. It's just Brittany in the car.

[Katie Nolan]

It's Britney who?

[Pablo Torre]

Damn.

[Katie Nolan]

When was this?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Whenever the musical Nine was on Broadway. So we're talking like probably 2003 or something.

[Katie Nolan]

Where is this in her lore? Pre.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

This is before Britney had whatever. Whatever.

[Katie Nolan]

Whatever we did during.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Whatever word you would describe the. The. The whatever's happened. It's before that happened.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

Looking for this.

[Katie Nolan]

Nobody did it like Britney. Nobody's doing it like Britney.

[Pablo Torre]

A lot of images for Britney Spears sunroof. So we're going to have to keep.

[Katie Nolan]

On probably going to find it if.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

If anyone can find it.

[Katie Nolan]

It's one of the top 100 podcasts of all.

[Pablo Torre]

Just like the number of. Of photos of Britney Spears through a windshield. Like I'm never going to find this one.

[Katie Nolan]

Right. That's what I'm saying. When I say we did it. It's like they should be allowed to get in a car.

[Pablo Torre]

Like, is this a little co. You.

[Katie Nolan]

Think this without us all freaking out? I don't think so. I would guess. No. Guess what we're learning.

[Pablo Torre]

What I found out today is that Britney Spears loves a sunroofs.

[Katie Nolan]

Or that paparazzi can. Is not afraid to stand in front of a moving vehicle to take a picture of Britney Spears at a.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Is it roofs or roofs? Something to think about.

[Katie Nolan]

Roofs. I don't know why I said that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Wait, he's saying roofs.

[Katie Nolan]

It is. I know. That's why I was just beating myself up for being wrong.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Couldn't it be roofs?

[Pablo Torre]

I don't think so. No.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

No.

[Pablo Torre]

I think that's. That's a thing you're gonna want to cut out of this episode.

[Katie Nolan]

Never fs. It's never never. Is it wolves? No, wolves.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah, you're right. Boofs.

[Katie Nolan]

What's a boof?

[Pablo Torre]

A boof has multiple meanings. Primarily water kayaking poofs. In slang, it can refer to anal sex.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Come on, dude.

[Pablo Torre]

Or the rect. Administration of drugs.

[Katie Nolan]

Why are we here?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

1. But one of you said boof. That's. Oh, you said oh. Because who did the Brett Kavanaugh. And now we're back into politics.

[Katie Nolan]

No.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Didn't. He wasn't there. Boofing. Wasn't that something?

[Pablo Torre]

Yes. Brett Kavanaugh's yearbook. Colon, the boof joke, comma, explained.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

There you go.

[Pablo Torre]

October 3rd, 2003.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay.

[Pablo Torre]

Britney Spears cruising on 49th street, pops out of the sunroof to the surprise of a street full of tourists.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Could be that. It could be that you're pretty good. It could be that guys weren't tourists. Yeah. Can you find out what theater the Broadway musical Nine was? On.

[Pablo Torre]

Yes.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Broadway musical was in. And what street that was on. Trying to fix prepositions.

[Pablo Torre]

Here we go.

[Katie Nolan]

They'll edit. They'll fix that. I know anything about these guys.

[Pablo Torre]

2003 Broadway revival.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, this is probably it.

[Pablo Torre]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. Nope. I clicked on the Wikipedia entry for the word revival.

[Katie Nolan]

They have to say Broadway production.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, I found out something great on Wikipedia today. So far.

[Katie Nolan]

Have you seen the clip of the little kid? Okay, show me talking about that.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Show me 49th Street. Show me 48 West 49th.

[Pablo Torre]

This is why we do journalism. God damn.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Shout out to my friend Elena, Elena Shadow, who was in the musical Nine.

[Katie Nolan]

Great name now great woman.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Nine is not puppets. Nine is about. Is it Fellini maybe? Because you know how this eight and a half said.

[Katie Nolan]

I thought it was puppets. So I don't think. Whatever. Next.

[Pablo Torre]

What is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

There's a big one.

[Katie Nolan]

Maybe like a movie or something. That's the big one. That's public.

[Pablo Torre]

Guido Contini, who was dreading his imminent 40th birthday and facing a midlife crisis. Oh, man. I'm dreading my imminent 40th birthday.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, my gosh. This is really. Kiss.

[Pablo Torre]

While I read this entry. Facing a midlife crisis.

[Katie Nolan]

Sure. What's the next line about?

[Pablo Torre]

Which is blocking his creative impulses. Check.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, no.

[Pablo Torre]

And entangling him in a web of romantic difficulties in early 1960s Venice.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, that's not you, then. Good. Thank God. At first I was like this, but.

[Pablo Torre]

He loves to podcast.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What the.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah. Raul Julia. Yes.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

A gifted man.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, man.

[Katie Nolan]

So we found that. That is the picture of her.

[Pablo Torre]

Definitely.

[Katie Nolan]

Show it again.

[Pablo Torre]

I mean, she's wearing a trucker hat post.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, trucker hat was right before I.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Well, maybe it's right before then. Well, wait, can I say something that I found that I saw on Wikipedia today? Someone referenced to me the. Is that they're not even listening.

[Katie Nolan]

Is that the top of her head?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Talking to myself. I'm by myself.

[Katie Nolan]

Is that the top of her head?

[Pablo Torre]

Does this resemble the top of your wife's head?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I mean, it's not impossible that it is.

[Katie Nolan]

I know.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It really is not impossible that it is clearly.

[Pablo Torre]

Okay, for those not watching on YouTube, it's clearly a photo that is focusing on Britney Spears white trucker hat hoodie thing. And in front of the windshield is the back of a blonde head of hair.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It is very possible that. That is very possible. You got to send me a link to that so I can. Yeah, I can.

[Katie Nolan]

We have to consider. They found when they exonerated that guy cuz he was at the Mets game or in the back of an episode of a Seinfeld or something like that. What is this? Maybe it was curb your enthusiasm. Wasn't there a guy that telling me.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The plot of an episode of television had his.

[Pablo Torre]

Are you racially profiling a genre of sitcom?

[Katie Nolan]

No, I'm saying a guy used as an alibi because he was at a baseball game the day that they were filming an episode of curb your enthusiasm. And so on the camera, you see that he's there.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So this is a real life.

[Katie Nolan]

Sorry, I was just making a thing that I thought everybody knew as a quick little punchline reference to that thought we'd all go, tee hee hee. It's just like that, Katie. And then we'd move on.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I do not know. I do not know about that.

[Pablo Torre]

Photos.

[Katie Nolan]

They made a whole documentary about it and everything.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Really?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, it's like. It's like a true crime situation.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, it was like a. It was a cool thing that happened.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, while you're doing this, I tell you something that I learned on Wikipedia today. And I could say every name wrong in this great. There is a television program or possibly a movie called Lancelot Link secret chimp.

[Katie Nolan]

What?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And what it is. I learned a lot of cool things actually today. Lancelot Link secret chimps. I think that might be the name of it. And it is.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh my God. It's a comma, not a colon.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's a. It's a video. Video of the whole movie is chimps. It's footage of. It's footage of chimps. Like in costumes. Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

And okay, no people so far I can tell you Katie is not seeing my computer screen. This is checking out.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

There are no people in it anyway. I was just like. So they. Someone showed it to me and then I was looking into like the voice actors. And one of them, I think is a woman named Joan, possibly Gerber, I think is the last name. And the only thing I want to say about her is that in her Wikipedia article, like maybe the first sentence is, her most challenging role as a voice actor was playing the voice of a busload of Japanese students being attacked by Godzilla. Is that basically correct?

[Pablo Torre]

Her most challenging. This is Joan Gerber.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Pablo Torre]

Her most challenging voice role was quote, all the children in a Japanese train wreck. End quote. For a Godzilla television episode. All the children.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Who do I play in this episode? Oh, you're all the children in the Japanese.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah, you're gonna need to be.

[Katie Nolan]

All that count is like 20 credits.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Maybe she's probably rich off that one. Whatever that is. That.

[Pablo Torre]

Oh, my God. The residuals on being all of the Japanese children.

[Katie Nolan]

Don't forget, I was also Japanese student number five. Thank you. And then also number six, who played.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Japanese student number nine. That wasn't.

[Pablo Torre]

No way.

[Katie Nolan]

That's right.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, can I say one other thing I learned today?

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, please.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, I learned.

[Katie Nolan]

What else are we here for? Nothing.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I learned about a comedian whose name I think is Alonzo Hamburger.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Do you guys know this guy? Well, I'll tell you, the big thing about Alonzo Hamburger is that he says hamburger a lot. He says hamburger all the time. He says it all the time. In his set. He'll just. Instead of saying like. Instead of saying. Instead of saying like or whatever.

[Pablo Torre]

I mean, why. Maybe he's actually here. Oh, my God. Alonzo Hamburger Jones.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

Is an American writer and catchphrase comedian.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yes.

[Pablo Torre]

Best known for his cowboy hat and frequent use of the word hamburger.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I would say to me personally, only having learned about him this morning, I would say best known for his cowboy hat is an insane thing to include.

[Katie Nolan]

Wait. Yes.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Start with wait. He says the word hamburger. It's like, God damn. Or like. As if. It's like, crazy. Like you won't believe it. He just said he says hamburger all the time.

[Katie Nolan]

Did you watch video of his set?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I watched his whole set from. I don't know if it might have been Comic View or, like, Def Comedy Jam. Martin Lawrence was hosting it.

[Pablo Torre]

It. And Deaf Comedy Jam, hbo, two television appearances.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

He comes out, does a set.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, man. I bet Dan would have something really funny to say here.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I bet he would, but he really would.

[Katie Nolan]

Nothing. I mean, I got nothing for.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It is. It is so just purely delightful to me to watch Alonzo Hamburger.

[Pablo Torre]

And now let's enjoy some Alonzo Hamburger.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Absolutely.

[Katie Nolan]

Please say, Jones, you guys are skipping his last name.

[Pablo Torre]

I think we're getting the most important part. Look at this big joker here, Sam.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Don't want to stand in front of YMC talking about, oh, look, they done spelled Macy's wrong. Hamburger ain't gonna have it. Who else wanna play? Happy Halloween, baby. Now 30. Check out my man here. Rico Suave. Y' all looking good out here tonight. Ham burger. There we go. Hamburger. And then just moves on next thing. Does the word hamburger have anything to do with what's been happening?

[Katie Nolan]

No, but that's his way of going, like. Let me tell you. That is what I have said.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It's so much a part of his lexicon that sometimes he'll like, you know, he's like, he'll start a sentence like, hamburger. He was walking down the street like, you don't even get the whole hamburger. He does it and he does it and that's that. I would guess he says the word hamburger.

[Pablo Torre]

It's like how intuit people have many words for. I guess the opposite of that. It's as if Snow has many words, but it's just hamburger.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It is the opposite. But yes, but exactly. I think he does say at some point he says hamburger instead of swearing instead.

[Pablo Torre]

Okay, so hamburger. This is back to Wikipedia page. Hamburger tries not to use profanity. Like gentlemen of the old West. Who does not? Well, that's weird.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You know how in the old west they don't have to do anything.

[Pablo Torre]

Who don't swear in front of the ladies. Instead, comedian Alonzo Jones has substituted profanity with one word in all caps. Hamburger.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, so every time he wants to say, he says hamburger.

[Pablo Torre]

Yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

And he's like, boom, I got. Don't worry, I got a hamburger right here.

[Katie Nolan]

But I think if it got hamburger heavy, I feel, I fear I would be out on it. I actually liked it in there.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

You say that, but I'm just telling you he uses it properly. You can actually absorb quite a lot of hamburger. More than you think.

[Katie Nolan]

You can see actually what Jordan Peterson said, and he was wrong. He wasn't right.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Alonzo Hamburger Jones. That's something we learned today. Are we at that part? What did I learn today?

[Katie Nolan]

It's done already.

[Pablo Torre]

Possibly at that part. But I've also not checked the clock in a lot.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm just checking. Let me check. Oh, it's midnight.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, no.

[Pablo Torre]

One of the things I loved when, when watching your show was looking at Katie just like literally side eyeing her as she was sobbing.

[Katie Nolan]

And here's the thing.

[Pablo Torre]

I crying legitimately.

[Katie Nolan]

It's not like you can go like wipe it off. So I just like let it sit there and then it dried.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

So I just leaving like this. Yeah, yeah. I was like, well, I'll just hop right on the subway.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

There are some parts of the show that are very sad and I say it up top. So we just kind of. We just kind of do that. And one of the things that maybe I talked about this last time, but one of the things in like pitching it to places to put it on their air. Right. Was people coming back and being like, it's like there are parts of it that are too sad for us to think of this as a comedy. Would you think about, like, you know, maybe putting more jokes in those parts. And for me, I was like, I don't really want to, so we'll just wait. And then this other company came around, and they were like, we love it how it is, so we'll. We'll make it.

[Pablo Torre]

So. Part of what I didn't know, because I had seen the show again somewhere between a year and 10 years ago, I didn't know how different it would be because last time I talked to you, you had some amount of frustration because this show is, for my money, conflicted as I am. It's so hamburger.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Good. Thank you.

[Pablo Torre]

And. And I just hoped that it would be the version that I had seen. And that's what I was excited to show. Katie was like. Because I was like, I didn't want to tell her too much. I didn't want to, like, you know, whatever. I didn't want to taint the jury pool.

[Katie Nolan]

But he did ask before we did any drugs. He said, now, this is a sad show. Would you like to do a little bit of drugs? I said, yeah.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That's very thoughtful.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, I do. I think I'm ready for it.

[Pablo Torre]

As her weed concierge, I think we nailed it.

[Katie Nolan]

Yep, totally.

[Pablo Torre]

While you were hopped up on caffeine.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, yeah. Was that real? You really did?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

It was real. I was so tired after the first show, and I hadn't slept really well the night before, of course, so I took these. Gummy caffeine Bolt, I think, is the name of the thing.

[Katie Nolan]

Why are you looking at us like we would ever eat any of that if it's not drugs? I mean, caffeine, I guess technically a drug.

[Pablo Torre]

Was it. Was it? You had a couple of pro bar Bolt. Bolt shoes.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That seems. That seems right.

[Katie Nolan]

Yikes.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

And where'd you get those at? Gas station.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I got them out of bodega. I was, like, at a bodega buying gum, and I was like, maybe I'll need this.

[Pablo Torre]

There's a woman standing in a sunroof who was just.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

In 2000, people like a Red Bull.

[Pablo Torre]

Rep in college, like, Donald Trump throwing toilet paper. He was throwing pro bar.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

So I just chowed. I just chowed down on him. And it really. It. It got me.

[Katie Nolan]

They hit you? Yeah. You did the classic edible thing where you take one and you go, not feeling this. So you take more, and then you go, I'm feeling it now.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I was saying to Pablo before, I don't know how much caffeine was in them, and it's possible that it's like, A very small amount.

[Katie Nolan]

But it's also possible that you're. It was, like, more than you should have taken.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I'm a delicate baby. Like, any kind of medicine immediately has a heavy effect on me, no matter what amount I take. And so this, I think, was no different. Can you.

[Pablo Torre]

Can you. Can you text or call Carrie and ask her if that's her head?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Oh, wow, she's at work.

[Katie Nolan]

You want to close the loop?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

I mean, there's absolutely no job's way.

[Katie Nolan]

Too important for you to make her do that. Can you also tell her that I love her?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Tell her Katie says hello and that she loves.

[Pablo Torre]

That we loved.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Okay, I'm going to. I'm going to text her. Wait, hang on. I'm gonna. I'm taking a picture of you guys. Yeah, I'm sending it to her.

[Katie Nolan]

I think I put my tongue out at a weird time, so the picture's gonna be me going like this, starting to put it out. This isn't a podcast. Is the thing this.

[Pablo Torre]

Time magazine disagrees. I just sent you a screenshot just to give the visual of what Carrie is doing probably right now in real life. So she is.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

She's probably helping a child coming out of a major surgery, and she's gonna look at her phone and she's gonna be like, I absolutely cannot believe that this is what I'm being texted right now.

[Pablo Torre]

Listen.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

What? She's chill. She won't be like that. She'll just. She'll just. I'm going to have to answer this later.

[Katie Nolan]

Right?

[Michael Cruz Kane]

But it is go like the difference.

[Katie Nolan]

Crazy thing to text me.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

The difference between our two lives is stark that it's like she's doing something like that. She is a.

[Katie Nolan]

Does it ever smack you in the face? Do you ever go, like.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

Smacks me in the face every day. Hey, how was your day? And then I'll say, you know, whatever. Couldn't crack this joke about a Chinese dinosaur. And then she'll say what her day was. And it's like, I honestly wish I hadn't asked.

[Pablo Torre]

It's like you're talking about the person who voices all the Japanese children in Iraq. And she is helping.

[Katie Nolan]

She's like, guess you said, guess what I learned today. She goes, and guess what I learned.

[Michael Cruz Kane]

That she says, totally is. That is the pick that I was cut out of. Ham burger.

[Pablo Torre]

This has been Pablo Torre Finds Out a Meadowlark Media production. And I'll talk to you next time.